Intsha eningi ibuka izithombe zobulili ezingcolile eziqinile kwi-inthanethi isikhathi eside ngaphambi kokuthola imizwa yazo yokuqala yezocansi. Lokhu kuguqula indlela ababhekana ngayo nobulili babo. Nayi indaba kaDaniel.
MUNICH - Ukwesaba kungumngane ohlala njalo uDaniel. Ukwesaba ukuphindaphinda, ukubuyela emuva emikhondweni yakhe yokulutha akuyona into engafanele ngoba kuyoba lula kakhulu.
Ukulutha kwakhe akugxila ezidakamizweni, utshwala noma ukuthenga, kodwa izithombe zobulili ezingcolile. Ngisho nezithombe zabesifazane abahamba ngebhayisikili ezenzakalweni zezemidlalo zanele ukuphazamisa ukulingana uDaniel uye wakwazi ukuzakhela ngosizo lochwepheshe. Ukwazi ukuthola idiploma yesikole esiphakeme ngonyaka odlule, kodwa kuphela ngokufundisa okuzimele, nangokujoyina iqembu lokusekela labo abanomlutha wezocansi. Wachitha iminyaka phambi kwekhompuyutha yakhe ephathekayo, ebuka izithombe zobulili ezingcolile nokushaya indlwabu izikhathi ezintathu ngosuku. Udokotela wakhe uthi kufanele aziqhenye ngokuphunyuka emanzini aphansi. Kodwa uDaniel akaziqhenyisi, uzizwa ehlazeka kuphela.
Usebenza eKafé kulezi zinsuku ukuze asindise imali futhi athuthele e-Australia, ahambe futhi agibele, kodwa ngaphezu kwakho konke ukukhohlwa.
Abantu abasha bebelokhu behlushwa ukuveza izenzo zocansi ngoba bafuna ukwazi ukuthi yini ongayenza ngenkathi ulala, futhi ngaphezu kwakho konke, ukuthi ucansi lusebenza kanjani. Izizukulwane zabasha ziye zaphazamisa amakhasi Playboy kanye nabanye omagazini ukuze banelise isidingo sabo solwazi ngesihloko. Kodwa nanamuhla, abaneminyaka engu-12 ubudala sebevele bebukele amafilimu ama-movie angama-intanethi e-intanethi kanye nokushaya indlwabu ngesikhathi bebukele. Akusikho umbuso wesifundazwe waseJalimane ofakiwe isihloko sezithombe zobulili ezingcolile esilayisabhile, naphezu kokuthi abanye abangu-40% babo bonke abaneminyaka engu-11-13 ubudala baye babona izithombe zobulili ezingcolile noma amafilimu okungenani kanye empilweni yabo. Bathumela amafilimu ezocansi komunye nomunye ongase abonise abantu abesilisa ocansini nezilwane noma owesifazane ocansini namadoda amahlanu ngesikhathi esifanayo.
Kepha lokhu kunamthelela muni entsheni? Ngabe uDaniel uyedwa noma udaba lwakhe lumele isimo esethusayo? Isazi sezocansi esizinze eBerlin uKlaus Beier sithi “kungaba ubuwula ukukholelwa ukuthi ukubukwa kwamafilimu ezithombe zocansi akuthinti nhlobo intsha. Izenzo zabantu [ezivezwe kumafilimu nezithombe] ziyakopishwa futhi zigcinwe ebuchosheni. ”
Le mpikiswano ukuthi ngabe i-pornyali ikhubaza noma cha, iye yahlala emashumini eminyaka. Ososayensi babekhona, kuze kube manje, bengazi ukuthi kuningi kangakanani ithonya lokusetshenziswa kwezithombe zobulili ezingcolile ezisencane nokuthi kungani ezinye izingane ziba umlutha ngenkathi abanye bengenawo umlutha. Ucwaningo olusha luye lwafakazela ukuthi ukusetshenziswa okubucayi kwe-porn akuzange kwanda kuphela phakathi kwentsha kodwa ukuthi kungadala ngisho nokuholela ekusebenzeni kwe-erectile. Ucwaningo lwesiSweden lubonise ukuthi intsha ebuka izithombe zobulili ezingcolile nsuku zonke ivame ukuphikisana nabazali babo, thatha izidakamizwa ezingaphezulu futhi bahlushwa amazinga aphezulu okucindezeleka kunabalingani babo abangabonisi-porn.
Saqala ukuxhumana noDaniel nge-website yaseJalimane ezinikezelwe ukulutha kabi kwe-porn lapho izinsizwa zikhuluma ngokuphelelwa ithemba kwazo njengoba zibuka izithombe zobulili ezingcolile nganoma isiphi isikhathi sosuku noma ubusuku kodwa zihluleka ukuba nobulili bangempela nabantu bangempela. Ubuhlobo babo buhlupheka ngenxa yokuthi abakwazi ukuthola i-erection ngenkathi bekanye nabalingani babo, kodwa kuphela ngenkathi bebuka izithombe zobulili ezingcolile.
UDaniel waqala ukubhema induku ukuze aphumule, athuthukise isimo sakhe futhi asuse umuzwa wecala ozokwakha. Amabanga akhe aqala ukunciphisa ngoba wayesebenzisa izithombe zobulili ezingcolile ngesikhathi eseklasini. Abazali bakhe kanye nothisha bakhe bakhathazekile ngoba behlulekile ukufika kuye futhi bamthumelela nge-imeyili ngokucophelela. I-imeyili yafuna ukumqinisekisa ukuthi ukubancane kwaba nzima kubo, futhi nokuthi babefisa ukuthi babe nomuntu ongakhuluma naye. I-imeyili iqukethe izixhumanisi kumawebhusayithi wezokwelapha, ezikhethekile ezinganeni.
Ingabe bayazi umehluko phakathi kwefilimu neqiniso?
Ochwepheshe bezocansi, othisha nabazali bakhuluma "nge-porn yesizukulwane," yesizukulwane esikhula ngamafilimu ezocansi futhi owaziyo, kudala ngaphambi kokuba babe nokuhlangenwe nakho kwabo kokuqala kwezocansi, ukuthi yini i-gang-banging, ngokwesibonelo. Imboni yezocansi ukuveza ubulili isikisela intsha ukuthi amadoda kufanele athole ubudoda obukhulu nokuthi abesifazane “bayizinto nje eziqhutshwa inkanuko futhi abangakwazi ukungena ngokwanele nesidoda,” kusho uProfesa Beier.
Ngakho-ke, lokhu kwenzekani kubasha? Ingabe bonke basengozini yokubhekana nalokho uDaniel ayezobhekana nakho, noma bayazi umahluko phakathi kwefilimu neqiniso?
UBeier, ophethe i-Institute of Sexology and Sexual Medicine eBerlin Charité, uthi iminyaka yethu ihlukile ngoba “isizukulwane esiphelele siyakhula” ngamabhayisikobho abonisa indlela okuhlangana ngayo nocansi "okuthiwa kusebenza". Izinsizwa eziningi ngokwengeziwe zisitshela ngokungakwazi kwazo ukuba nobuhlobo obujwayelekile ngenxa yokusebenzisa kwabo i-porn ngokweqile. Kepha uBeier uyaqiniseka ukuthi "abasebenzisi abaningi" bezithombe zocansi eziku-inthanethi bayazi ukuthi iqiniso lobudlelwano obusondelene "lihluke kakhulu" kulabo ababoniswa kwi-porn.
UDaniel wayeneminyaka eyi-12 ngenkathi echofoza ku-Youporn, elinye lamawebhusayithi e-porn aphumelela kakhulu emhlabeni, ngokokuqala ngqa. Uthole ikheli lewebhusayithi endaweni lapho izingane zangasese zivuleke khona esikoleni, zibhalwe odongeni lwama-cubicle. Wethuka kodwa futhi wavuswa yilokho akubonayo futhi isidingo sakhe sezinto ezintsha sasheshe sangalawuleka. Uchithe amahora amaningi phambi kwe-laptop yakhe futhi imizwa yakhe yehle ngokulingana nesikhathi asichitha phambi kwesikrini sakhe sekhompyutha. Isimo sakhe esibe sibi kakhulu sathola "crasser" amafilimu athola. Ukwehla okunonya okubi.
Ucwaningo oluthile oluqhutshwa eCalifornia naseYurophu lubonisa ukuthi ukusetshenziswa kwe-porno nsuku zonke kubangela ukucindezeleka, ukuhlukunyezwa, ukuhlushwa okuncane kanye nezifo zobulili. Ngokusho kwalezi zifundo ukungasebenzi kahle kwe-erectile phakathi kwamadoda angaphansi kweminyaka yobudala ye-20 yanda kakhulu.
Abanye bahlose ukuphatha le nkinga ngezindlela ezibizwa ngokuthi “amasu e-no-fap.” I-No-fap yigama elihlobene nesenzo esithi "fapping," igama laseMelika lokushaya indlwabu. Isu le-no-fap lifaka ukungabuki noma yiziphi izithombe ezingcolile futhi hhayi ukushaya indlwabu. UDaniel uvakashele iwebhusayithi ye-no-fap ngemuva kokufaka amagama athi "porn" nokuthi "umlutha" futhi wamangala ukubona ukuthi mangaki amawebhusayithi abhekana nalesi sihloko esithile. UDaniel uthathe isinqumo sokuya eTurkey ebandayo inyanga yonke futhi wamemezela inhloso yakhe kuwebhusayithi ukuzifaka ingcindezi yokuyibona, futhi wabona izinsuku ezimbalwa ukuthi wayezolile futhi ekugcineni waba nendawo yeminye imicabango.
Umelaphi uMarlene Henning naye unolwazi ngomonakalo ongabangelwa yi-porn. Isiguli esisesincane esisencane sisitshele ukuthi "siyisizukulwane esincipha ngesandla sobunxele ngenkathi ilungelo lilawula igundane." Futhi ubhekele ukuhlinzeka ngemfundo yezocansi ezikoleni futhi kwesinye isikhathi uthuswa yimibuzo ebuzwa ngokungaziwa ngabafundi abancane ayithola ngaphambi kokuya esikoleni.
Lapho indodana yakhe yayineminyaka engu-16 futhi idlala amakhadi nabangane bayo ekhaya wababuza ukuthi bazibuka yini izithombe zobulili ezingcolile kwi-Intanethi. Indodana yakhe yaba eyokuqala ukuphendula, “Mama, siyazi ukuthi lokhu akulona iqiniso!” Kodwa omunye wabangani bakhe wathi "njalo uma ngiya ocansini, nginezithombe zocansi ekhanda lami." Omunye wanezela ukuthi "amantombazane acabanga ukuthi kufanele enze njengamantombazane kumafilimu ezocansi."
UDaniel, manje u-18, unomuzwa wokuthi uye waphula umlutha wakhe wezithombe zobulili ezingcolile, futhi manje unezintombi ezihlala njalo, nakuba ngezinye izikhathi zibuhlungu. Kodwa yilokhu okubuyiselwayo empeleni kumkhuthaza ukuba ahambe kude ne-porn ngokuphelele.
Ukufakwa kwakhe kokugcina esithangamini saseJalimane esithi "no-fap" kwenziwa eminyakeni emibili eyedlule, futhi kuyincwadi ende yokuvalelisa. Ubhale mayelana nesikhathi athola ngaso i-Youporn, isizungu esalandela, umuzwa wokuhlala ngaphansi komhlaba iminyaka. Kodwa uDaniel uphinde wachaza ukweqa kwakhe wathi: "Ukuthola abantu abacabanga njengami yikhona okwangisindisa."
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