Isonto elizayo lizoba izinyanga ze-11 ngaphandle kokusebenzisa i-porn. Ngenyanga edlule ngithumele kuReddit mayelana neminye imininingwane engiyitholile ngenxa yokululama okunempilo. Kuhlole uma unentshisekelo: https://www.reddit.com/r/pornfree/comments/mtkk2p/10_months_the_journey_is_worthy/
Ngenyanga ezayo ngizothumela i- “One Year Post” ezoba wukubuyekezwa kohambo lwami lokululama, amanye amathiphu kulabo ababambekayo ezinsukwini ezingama-30 zokuqala, izinzuzo zokululama okunempilo, futhi ngizohlasela imibuzo evame ukubuzwa avele kuwe.
Kulokhu okuthunyelwe, ngithanda ukugcizelela ukubaluleka kwe- ukululama okunempilo kwesikhathi eside, hhayi kuphela ukuzithiba kocansi. Uma uke waba umlutha wezithombe zobulili ezingcolile nezocansi isikhathi eside, khona-ke ukuyeka izithombe zobulili ezingcolile kuzoba kuphela isinyathelo sokuqala (futhi esibaluleke kakhulu) sendlela yokuphila enempilo.
Kuyiphutha elijwayelekile labaqalayo. Ekuqaleni, eminyakeni engu-5 edlule, ngangikhathazeka ngeNoFap. Ngathola "amandla amakhulu" adumile okwesikhashana (empeleni, amandla amakhulu ngamakhono angaphakathi kuphela esiwachaza kwabanye), ngaze ngathola "flatline" yethu enobungane.
Nginamathele ohambweni lwami, angibonwanga kuthuthukiswa kwezomnotho, ngakho-ke isinyathelo esilandelayo somqondo engisilandelile kwakungu-Pornfree. Lapho-ke ngifunde izisekelo zokululama okunempilo, kusenzima ukugcina umugqa omude.
Ngemuva kweminyaka embalwa, nangemva kwezinyanga zokuhlupheka ngokomzwelo, ngabona ukuthi ingqondo yami yezithombe ezingcolile ayisebenzi. Kwakudingeka ngihambe isinyathelo esisodwa esikhulu ngokuqhubekayo… hhayi nje kuphela ukuthi kwakudingeka ngiyeke izithombe zobulili ezingcolile, kodwa ikakhulukazi okufakwa esikhundleni sezocansi (ukusetshenziswa okuphoqelelwe kwezinsuku zokusebenza, i-Instagram, i-Google Image Search).
Ushintsho olukhulu, nokho, lwalunjalo therapy. Ngaleso sikhathi, ngabona ukuthi ngidinga ukusekelwa nguchwepheshe Angikwazanga ukwenza ushintsho olunempilo ngedwa. Phakathi nezinyanga eziyisithupha (iseshini eyodwa ngeviki, bese kuba njalo ezinsukwini eziyi-15) ngithole amakhono okubhekana no phatha imizwa ejulile Ngangivame ukucasha, njengokuzihlukanisa, ukukhathazeka, amahloni, umuzwa wecala, isithukuthezi, njll.
Kwathi-ke, ngemuva kwesikhashana nezinyanga zomzamo wokuzinakekela, ngaqala ukuzijabulisa kanye nemvelo. Isidingo sokujabulisa abanye sanyamalala kancane kancane. Nganginelisekile (futhi ngiyaneliseka) ukuthi ngingubani, nginamandla nobuthakathaka bami. Izinga lokuphila kwami selibuyile laba yiqiniso.
Uma usufinyelele kuleli qophelo, imibono yempilo iya kwelinye izinga: uthokozela futhi izinjabulo ezincane, ukukhuluma okuncane nabangani nabanye kuba mnandi kakhulu, isimo sakho sengqondo ngeqiniso siba sihle ngokwengeziwe, uqina ngokwengqondo ngokubhekana nezinkinga zangempela zempilo, wena buyela emuva kumzuzu wamanje kaningi.
Ukululama okunempilo akukwazi ukuchazwa ngokwanele ngamagama. Kungumuzwa wenhlala-kahle nokweneliseka ngokwakho okudinga ukuphilwa ukuze wazi incazelo yawo yangempela.
Ukucindezeleka, ukuhlupheka, ubuhlungu, ukukhathazeka… kusekhona, akunjalo. Noma kunjalo, leyo mizwa ivela ukukhuluma izinkinga ezibalulekile zangempela, hhayi ekubalekeleni iqiniso ngokujezisela abesifazane “abashisayo” abakhohlisayo esikrinini nokuthi mhlawumbe ngeke uphinde ubabone.
Lokho, kimi, kungukululama kwangempela. Ngaleso sikhathi lapho ungajabulela kahle ubumnandi obuncane (ukudla i-pizza, ukuphuza ikhofi, ukuhamba ngezinyawo emvelweni, ukuzivocavoca, ukufunda, ukuzijabulisa, noma ukushaya indlwabu) ngaphandle kwemizwa yecala, amahloni nokuzijezisa engqondweni yakho. Lelo phuzu lapho uxhuma kabusha nesiqu sakho sangaphakathi, futhi uzemukela ngendlela oyiyo nangesitayela sakho ngaphandle kokujabulisa abanye ukuze “wamukeleke” ngumphakathi. Lelo phuzu lapho unikela ngesikhathi sakho nomzamo wakho ezindabeni ezibalulekile zansuku zonke (ngokwesibonelo, ukwakha ubudlelwano besikhathi eside, umsebenzi, ukutadisha, imisebenzi yasendlini, uhambo, ukuhlola, ukuphenya, ukuzilibazisa, njll.) Futhi ungaphazanyiswa izinto ezingafuneki ezingakwenzi uzizwe “ugcwele” injabulo nenjabulo yangaphakathi.
Ngifuna ukushiya ezinye izinto ngithunyelwe unyaka owodwa, kepha kuyisihluthulelo ukubona ukuthi ukusetshenziswa kocansi okuphoqelekile akuyona imbangela "yosizi" lwakho; yi- uphawu lwenkinga ejulile engokomzwelo lokho kudinga ukubhekelwa njenge-ASAP ngokwelulekwa ngokomsebenzi kanye / noma ngokuxhaswa yizihlobo / umlingani / abangane abaseduze.
Uma ufinyelela ezingeni lokuthi: uma ufuna ushintsho lwangempela, kufanele uzimisele ngempela ukushiya i- "harem" (i-harem ngumhume onamamodeli akho amakhulu wamanga kanye nezinqe zakhe eziyindilinga, amabele akhe, izikhundla zakhe, njll. Ukuhlukaniswa nokushiya iqiniso kodwa esikhundleni salokho gcwalisa umlutha wakho nge-porn kanye nezinto ezingangena esikhundleni sazo)… bese ngokuzikhandla nsuku zonke nokuzinakekela uzoqala ukubona intuthuko enkulu ku izinga lempilo yansuku zonke. Injabulo izobuya futhi ngokwemvelo ngemuva kwezinyanga ezithile.
Ukugcina, ngithanda ukukunikeza amathiphu ambalwa angisebenzisile ngenkathi ngiqala ukwelashwa:
1) Uhlu lwezinto eziza kuqala: khetha okubalulekile kuwe nokuthi yini okungabalulekile kangako, bese unamathela kukho. Valiwe impela ungashintsha okuhamba phambili uma kunesidingo, kepha zama ukuzilandela ngokubaluleka kwakho. Ukuthatha isikhathi nabangane, umndeni noma umlingani wakho uma unakho kungabalulekile kuwe; noma mhlawumbe usesigabeni sempilo yakho ofuna ukuthuthukisa amakhono wepiyano, noma mhlawumbe ufuna ukuthatha isikhathi ukuthuthukisa amakhono akho omsebenzi. Ngokwakho okubaluleke kakhulu "okuluhlaza", yakha izenzo zakho zempilo.
2) Limit IG, inethiwekhi yokuxhumana nezinhlelo zokusebenza zokuphola: uma ulapha, mhlawumbe kungenxa yokuthi ubhekene nezinkinga zocansi noma izimo ezingezinhle zocansi. Ngakho-ke, okufana nokuthi isidakwa sidinga ukwehlisa utshwala endaweni yaso, noma ukuya kancane ezinkantini; kubasebenzisi abayimilutha yezocansi ukuphoqelela ukubukela ukuzitika, ukubuka nokuhlela kungamisa intuthuko yakho. Ngakho-ke ngincoma ukuthi usebenzise lezo zinhlelo zokusebenza ngokunakekela, kuphela lapho uzizwa unempilo.
3) Ukushaya indlwabu okunempilo: ishejuli ye-fap ayibalulekile kangako. Okubalulekile ukuthi ushaya indlwabu kanjani. Udokotela wami wangitshela ukuthi ukufiphala okunempilo kufanele kusekelwe emizweni yenhlalakahle, futhi akumele kuphoqeleke ukubalekela "imizwelo engemihle". Ukushaya indlwabu okunempilo, esikhundleni salokho, kufanele kugxile enjabulweni yomzimba ethokozisayo engathatha imizuzu eyi-15-30 noma ngaphezulu “ukuqeda”. Ngemuva kwalokho, imizwa yecala nehlazo ayikho ngoba uzizwe waneliseka futhi ujabula ngenkathi ujeqeza.
Ask me noma yini ongathanda ukuyazi mayelana nokululama. Ngiyajabula uma ngiphendula imibuzo yakho, ngoba bengilokhu ngisezinhluphekweni, ezinsukwini ezinzima, ebunzimeni… Ngiyazwelana nalabo abasokola kanzima ngokwabo, futhi abafuna ukwenziwa ngcono kwesikhathi eside.
Kulabo… UKULULAMA NGEMPILO KUYIQINISO. Kuthatha isikhathi, ukuqondiswa okuhlakaniphile (ukukhetha okuhamba phambili) nokuzibophezela ukujabulela inqubekela phambili. Ngoba uma usukwazi ukubhekana nokulutha, khona-ke injabulo yangempela iqala ukuza kaningi…
LINK - Izinyanga eziyi-11. Ukubuyiselwa Okunempilo Kuyiqiniso
By ikhonekto
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