Ngibingelele ongasekho u-Gary Wilson, odale yourbrainonporn.com, Alexander Rhodes, youtubers Mark Queppet, Seth Alexander ngosizo engiluthole ngokuphuma esihogweni.
Background
Ngachayeka ezikhangisweni zezingubo zangaphansi zabesifazane ebuntwaneni (angikhumbuli, ngangimncane kakhulu). Kusukela ngisemncane nganginesithakazelo emizimbeni yabesifazane futhi ngingakwazi ukugcina izidladla zami zikude ne-porn. Ukukhulisa imidanso yento yama-movie wamaNdiya kwahlaba ubumsulwa bami ngisemncane kakhulu. Uqale ukushaya indlwabu esemncane futhi enomuzwa wokungazethembi. Othisha besikole babehlale bencamela futhi bebathanda abafundi abathola amamaki aphezulu ekilasini futhi isilinganiso sami samamaki kodwa amahle anele sangenza ngazizwa ngingalondekile ngokwedlulele.
Ngisalukhumbula usuku engazama ngalo okokuqala ukukhuluma nentombazane engadini yezingane - bonke abafana bahlangana bangibiza “intombazane” futhi bangihleka. Ngithukile futhi ngihlukanisiwe ngakhula ngingenabo abangane abaningi futhi ngingenalo ulwazi lokuthi ngingazihlanganisa kanjani nabantu. Ukushaya ibanga lesi-6 kwakunzima kakhulu njengoba kwadingeka ngibuke abafana ababengibiza “ngentombazane” ngokukhuluma nentombazane bexoxa futhi babe nobungane futhi ngisondelane mathupha nawo wonke amantombazane ekilasini kuyilapho mina ngibambekile ngazo zonke izindlela. Ngangingakwazi ngisho ukwenza ubungane nabafana.
Ngebanga le-10 ngangiqiniseka ukuthi ngeke ngithole intombazane futhi ngaqala ukucabanga ngokushintshela kubafana ngoba ngase ngikhathele ukuba ngedwa. Lokhu kucabanga kwangihlanganisa namanye amadoda futhi angizange ngijabulele izinto esasizenza.
Ikolishi laliyisihogo kimi. Ukubuka wonke umuntu ehlezi nezintombi kwangenza ngingavikeleki kakhulu. Kungaleso sikhathi lapho sathola i-inthanethi ye-4g eshibhile nemahhala ngaleso sikhathi ngenxa ye-Reliance jio, ukusetshenziswa kwami kocansi kwanda kakhulu. Ngaqala ukubuka i-porn ubusuku bonke kusukela ngo-9 PM kuya ku-5 AM. Isikhathi eside sokuqunjelwa kanye nokushaya indlwabu kwangenza ngazizwa ngiphatheke kabi kakhulu futhi ukudela isikhathi sokulala esiyigugu sasingifica.
Izinto zaqala ukuba ngcono…
lapho ngesizathu esithile ngolunye usuku ngandlela-thile ngazizwa ngifuna "umlutha we-Porn" ku-google. Ukufunda imiphumela yosesho kwenza inhliziyo yami ishaye ngamandla futhi kwangenza ngesaba. Ngathola i-nofap.com ngalolo suku. Futhi imaka ukuqala kolwazi lwami oluhlobene nokulutha kwe-porn oluhlobene nokufuna nohambo lokutakula olwathatha iminyaka eyi-6. Ngifunde okuningi okuqukethwe okwabiwe lapha ezinkundleni zethu, futhi kunezikhathi lapho nganginomuzwa wokuthi alikho ithemba kimi lapho enganginakho kwakuyizindaba zempumelelo ezabiwe kulo chungechunge.
Isikhathi sokugcina lapho ngenza izithombe zobulili ezingcolile ezingilawulayo kwakungu-Nov 1st 2022. Ngeke ngilukhohlwe lolo suku. Ekugcineni ngawunqoba umlutha wami futhi ngaqhubeka nokuqedela uchungechunge olukhulu lwezinyanga ze-11 ngemva kwalolo suku. Noma i-streak yami iphelile, ibingaphansi kwemibandela yami - akukho porn - futhi angizisoli nganoma iyiphi indlela. Manje sengiyabona ukulawula kwami ubulili bami futhi angisoze ngasebenzisa i-porn.
Uma uzwa sengathi awukwazi ukukwenza, uma uzwa sengathi impilo iya iba nzima, ungangabazi ukungithumelela umlayezo. Ngiyohlale ngikuzwa. Ubalulekile, umhlaba uyakudinga futhi uyakudinga usesimweni esihle kakhulu sakho.
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