(TLDR ngezansi)

Kade ngiqamekela le subreddit izinsuku ezimbalwa manje, futhi ngingumsebenzisi ojwayelekile kepha bekufanele ngivule i-akhawunti entsha njengoba unkosikazi wami elazi elinye igama lami lomsebenzisi. Bengifuna ukuxoxa okuncane ngendaba yami, ukuthi ukushaya indlwabu / i-porn kuholele kanjani emikhubeni eyingozi kakhulu, kucishe kwawubhidliza umshado wami, nokuthi izinto sezithuthuke kangakanani selokhu ngayeka. Ngijabule futhi ukuqhubeka nokufunda izindaba zabanye futhi ngilapha ukuze ngithole ukwesekwa ngumphakathi, ngoba njengoba sonke sazi, awusoze “waphuma ehlathini” nalomlutha.

(Umshwana wokuzikhipha emhlolweni: Okuthunyelwe kuyakhula kuze kube nezingqinamba enganginazo ezingaphezu kwe-porn / ukushaya indlwabu kodwa umlutha wami we-porn ubuwukhuthazo kukho konke lokhu)

Ngineminyaka engu-33 futhi ngeqiniso ngibe umlutha wezithombe zobulili ezingcolile nokushaya indlwabu kusukela ngineminyaka engu-15 ubudala. Ekamelweni lami ngangine-TV, ikhebula ibhokisi, i-VCR, neqoqo elikhulu lama-VHS elinamakhulu aqoshiwe ”ebusuku” izinhlelo zeCinemax. Kungekudala ngemuva kwalokho ngithole iLimewire kanye NEZIGIDI zamavidiyo we-hardcore we-on-demand angafinyeleleka noma kunini, noma kuphi. Kusuka ku-15 kuye ekolishi mhlawumbe ngishaya indlwabu ama-1-2 izikhathi ngosuku, nsuku zonke, nakanjani. Ngingasho ukuthi impilo yami yezenhlalo phakathi nale minyaka ibiphakathi, futhi impilo yami yangempela yocansi ibingajwayelekile. (Angisiyena umfana obukeka kabi, ngivele ngaba nentshisekelo noma ukuzethemba uma kukhulunywa ngokulandela amantombazane). Noma nini lapho ngiqala ukuthandana nothile, ubulili bube busha futhi bujabulise inyanga eyodwa noma ezimbili, kepha bese ngiqala ukukhetha izithombe zobulili ezingcolile, ubulili buye behle, bese ekugcineni ubudlelwane buphela. Izikhathi ezimbalwa empeleni nganginenkinga engazelelwe yokukhathazeka kokusebenza ne-ED namantombazane amasha, kepha ngabhala lezi zimo njengotshwala, ukucindezeleka, ngingathandi ukuzizwa kwamakhondomu, njll.

Dlulisela phambili eminyakeni yami yokuqala yama-20. Ngahlangana nowakwami ​​manje lapho ngangineminyaka engu-22, futhi sashada lapho ngangineminyaka engu-24. Kuze kube yileli qophelo, inkinga yami yayisalokhu ingumlutha wezocansi / wokushaya indlwabu kuphela, kodwa kwase kuzoba kubi kakhulu. Phakathi kweminyaka yobudala engama-23 nengama-32, ngisho ne-porn uqobo yayingasathokozisi ngokwanele. Ngiqale ukukwenza ezindaweni ezingatheni zomphakathi ngenjabulo yokubanjwa. Ekugcineni ngahamba ngaya eCraigslist ngiyozama ukuthola abalingani engingabazi, ngixosha amaqembu, njll. Ngiphinde ngajoyina i-LA Fitness futhi ngivamise ukuya ezindaweni lapho abafana bevame ukuphuma khona ezihlanzeni ndawonye. (Qaphela: Angikaze ngikhangeke kubafana, ngakho-ke ayikaze iqhubekele phambili kunokuziqhenya nabanye, kepha yaba umlutha wayo njengoba kwakukuthakazelisa ukwedlula ukukwenza wedwa) Ngaya emadokodweni abantu abadala nabadala amathiyetha. (Ngaze ngahlela uhambo lwezinsuku ezimbili lokuthengisa ngaphandle kwedolobha ukuze ngibe kude nonkosikazi wami futhi ngiye kozidela kwamanye amadolobha - ngikhokhelwa inkampani yami ngokungazi.) Ngakuqhubeka lokho iminyaka embalwa, ngagcina ngiqala ukuhambela amakilabhu , izindawo zokuphumula ezijabulisayo, abahlinzeki be-massage be-Backpage, amantombazane engizowakhokha ukuze angibuke ngiphuma, njll. Konke lokhu kwaqala ngokulutha kwami ​​kocansi.

Ngiphile kanjena iminyaka eyi-8 eqinile ngizikholisa ukuthi akukho okungahambi kahle ngoba empeleni ngangingazibeki engcupheni yama-STD, futhi ngoba empeleni bengingalali nanoma ngubani, bekungakopeli, akunjalo? Hhayi, hhayi nje kuphela ukuthi siyazi ukuthi akulona iqiniso, kepha umshado wami wawusube lusizi impela futhi impilo yethu yezocansi yayingekho. Ngaqala ukuhlushwa ukukhathazeka kokusebenza okuphindaphindiwe ngenkathi ngingu-26 yize ngangisesimweni esihle futhi ngiwumqemane. Ngingazikhohlisa ngamabomu ikhanda, ngenze sengathi ngikhathele kakhulu, ngiqale izimpi ezingadingekile, njll ukuze nje ngigweme ithemba lokuya ocansini. Imvamisa lapho elele ngangiye ngiye endlini yangasese nefoni yami ukuthola iseshini esheshayo elandelwa ukubheka i-imeyili yami eyimfihlo ukubona ukuthi yimaphi amathemba wokuhlangana weCraigslist enganginawo ngosuku olulandelayo. Ngingalinganisela phakathi kweminyaka yobudala engama-26 nengama-32 umkami futhi mhlawumbe saya ocansini izikhathi ezingama-2-3 ngonyaka kakhulu.

Ngolunye usuku esikhathini esingangonyaka esedlule, cishe konke kwehla lapho umkami ethatha ifoni yami ukuthola isithombe esisha futhi ngabona ukuthi ngishiyele i-imeyili yami “eyimfihlo” eyayineminyaka engu-5-6 yokuxhumana kwe-jerkoff meetup, ukunxenxa oku-inthanethi ukuthola ukubhucungwa okuphelayo okujabulisayo, izingxoxo ezingcolile, njll. Ngamthuka ngamubeka phansi ucingo, wakwenza lokho. Ngimtshele ekuqaleni ukuthi kade ngibuka ividiyo yezocansi phambilini futhi benginamahloni nje. Ngangishaye phansi, ngangiphila impilo embaxambili, umshado wami wawunosizi, ukuzethemba kwami ​​kwakudutshulwa, impilo yami yocansi yayingekho, futhi nganginemizuzwana emi-2 yokulahlekelwa ngumkami nezingane zami

Yilapho “ukululama” kutholana khona nokuthile okungajwayelekile. Ngakusasa ngakususa ikheli le-imeyili eliyimfihlo futhi ngalimisa lonke elibandayo. (Azikho izithombe zobulili ezingcolile, akukho ukushaya indlwabu nhlobo, kuyekwe ukulandela amamodeli we-sexy instagram, njll. Sekuyiminyaka cishe manje, futhi ngiqinisekile ukuthi sengishelele izikhathi ezimbalwa lapho indlu ibingenalutho, kepha kukonke mhlawumbe ngithathe indlwabu / i-porn kusuka kanye ngosuku mhlawumbe kanye njalo ezinyangeni ezimbili. (Umgomo wami awunalutho ngokuphelele… .Angizivumeli noma yiziphi izikhathi kodwa ngiyashibilika kaninginingi.) Umshado wami wenze iminyaka engu-180 ephelele. Impilo yethu yezocansi iyamangalisa ngokuphelele. Nginokuzethemba okukhulu, ngithola ukulungiswa okungcono, futhi ngijabulela ucansi kakhulu kunanini ngaphambili empilweni yami. Yini engcono ???… .Angiziphutheli neze izithombe ezingcolile. Kungani ngingafuna ukubuka izithombe zobulili ezingcolile lapho nginowesifazane omuhle eduze kwami ​​njalo ebusuku? (Kubukeka njengesitatimende esisobala esibuhlungu, kepha ngineqiniso lokuthi iningi lenu liyazi, akubonakali kunjalo uma ubhajwe kulo mkhuba.) Anginazo zonke izimpendulo futhi ngiyasazi isilingo sokuwa ukubuyela kule mikhuba kulele kimi kwenye indawo, kepha ngiyethemba noma ngubani osesimweni esifanayo ebengikuso angathatha okuthile endabeni yami.

I-TLDR: Uneminyaka engama-33, ushade iminyaka engu-9, izingane ezincane ezimbili. Ukubheja kocansi / ukushaya indlwabu kuphenduke ukuluthwa okujule njengokuqhuma kwamaqembu, izinkundla zemidlalo yaseshashalazini zabantu abadala, ukubhucungwa okuphelayo okujabulisayo, njll. Ekugcineni kwaholela ekusebenzeni ukukhathazeka kanye nokuhlaselwa yi-ED. Impilo yomshado neyezocansi ibibuhlungu. Cishe wabanjwa ngumfazi. Kumiswe yonke into ebandayo. Ngonyaka owodwa kamuva umshado wami ungcono kakhulu owake waba khona, impilo yezocansi iyamangalisa, ukuzethemba okuhle kakhulu kanye nokwakhiwa kwempilo yami.

Ngizozama ukugcina lokhu kufushane. 33M ngishade nezingane ezimbili. Yiyeke yonke i-porn kanye nejerking maphakathi no-December. Ngijabule ukubika ukuthi angikaze ngishabalale kanye. Ngine-backstory ende ongayibona kuphrofayela yami kusuka kokunye engikuposile. Indaba ende, bengingumlutha kakhulu wezocansi nokushaya indlwabu kusukela eminyakeni yami yobusha.

Ezinye izinto ezinhle ziphume ezinyangeni ezimbalwa ezedlule. Impilo yami yezocansi nonkosikazi wami yinhle, ngilahlekelwe ama-lbs angama-20, ama-erections angcono kunangesikhathi ngineminyaka engu-19, futhi ngisebenza kakhulu ngaso sonke isikhathi esengeziwe angibheki i-porn / jerking.

Into eyodwa engizoyisho iyamangaza, isilingo, (lapho sifika), sivela kuzo zonke izinto ezinamandla njengakuqala. (Kwesinye isikhathi kunamandla) Mhlawumbe akubona bonke abantu abazizwa kanjena, futhi mhlawumbe abanye abantu “abasacabangi nge-porn futhi”, kepha hhayi mina. Lokho kusho, isizathu engiye ngakwazi ukuzibamba kungenxa yokuthi ngiwuphulile umkhuba. Umkhuba wudaba olukhulu ukwedlula isilingo. Thola imikhuba enempilo ongayibeka endaweni yayo, gwema ZONKE izinto ezibangela ukubangisana, thola umngane wokuziphendulela, futhi ekugcineni ungabali izinsuku. Ngiphawule ukuthi lapho ngiqaphela imishanguzo yami yokuyeka, ngacabanga ngayo ngokweqile, futhi ngenxa yalokho ngacabanga ngocansi olungaphezulu. Ngethembekile angizange ngicabange nhlobo ukuthi ngime isikhathi esingakanani kulokhu kuze kube namuhla lapho ngibonile ukuthi empeleni nganginezinyanga ezi-3 kuze kube lusuku.

Ngikufisela inhlanhla bafo! Akunandaba ukuthi wehluleka izikhathi eziyinkulungwane - lokho kusho ukuthi i-1,000 izodinga ukuthi ibe yisikhathi sakho!

UKUHLEKA: Indaba eyiqiniso kuye kwadingeka ukuthi iyeke ukuthayipha lesi sikhathi sokuya ocansini nonkosikazi.