Ukutholakala kwezithombe zobulili ezingcolile kusenesikhathi kungabathinta abantu ngendlela exakile. Engxoxweni kuleli sonto ku Ikhaya Lepolitiki, iLungu lePhalamende leLabour uSamantha Niblett ukhumbula isikhathi sokuqala eshaya amehlo ngalezi zinto. “Ngangineminyaka eyi-10… Futhi ngezinye izikhathi ngiyazibuza, njengoba ngizibone ngisemncane… ukuthi lokho kuye kwabumba umuntu enginguye namuhla.” Lapho ngifunda ngomkhankaso wakhe omusha wokufundisa ngocansi wesizwe — ukukhuthaza ukushaya indlwabu ukuze kuthuthukiswe impilo, ukuletha amathoyizi ocansi ephalamende, ukukhuthaza amanye amalungu ePhalamende ukuba akhulume ngokukhululekile nge-orgasm — ngizovuma, nami ngaqala ukuzibuza ngalokho.
Umqondo omkhulu kaNiblett ukumemezela kulokho akubiza ngokuthi “ihlobo locansi”, efundisa umphakathi jikelele ngobuciko bokuba nokuhlangenwe nakho okwanelisayo nokuhloniphana ngokobulili. Mhlawumbe uma ecabanga ukuthi i-Right idinga usizo olwengeziwe ngalokhu kunase-Left, kubonakala sengathi uqondisa umkhankaso wakhe ubheke kubavoti be-Reform and Restore ikakhulukazi: “kumayelana nokulawula izwe lethu, mayelana nokulawula ubuBrithani bethu, nokungazizwa nginamahloni”. Ngakho-ke, uqambe lo msebenzi ngokuthi “Yebo Sex Please, singamaNgisi”, okuzwakala njengento umuntu wakwelinye izwe kuphela ayengayiqamba. Eqinisweni, nokho, kuyindaba ehlekisayo yocansi yama-Seventh-ties equkethe uRonnie Corbett — mhlawumbe iyindawo encane, ngisho nakubalandeli bakaRupert Lowe.
Imininingwane yephrojekthi kaNiblett izwakala ingenakwenzeka ukuthi ishaye ijubane lesizwe. Noma njengoba u-Aristotle ephawulile ngendlela ehlukile, i-swhirl eyodwa ayikwenzi ihlobo. Uhlela ukubambisana nomunye umuntu othanda ucansi — lowo obizwa ngokuthi uCindy Gallop ngendlela engenakwenzeka — ukuze athathe indawo yemibono engcolile emakhanda abantu ngezithombe “zabantu bangempela” bexhumana ngokocansi. Ngamanye amazwi: ungacabangi ngokushaywa okubushelelezi kwe-Pornhub, cabanga ukuthi uMatt Hancock ulele ehhovisi. UGallop ungumsunguli we-MakeLoveNotPorn (MLNP), iwebhusayithi lapho, ngokusho kwe-hype yayo, “ungabuka amavidiyo ocansi angempela emhlabeni wonke ngobuntu bawo bothando, obushisayo, nobungcolile”. Kubonakala sengathi uNiblett uyakujabulela ukuvakashela le sayithi ngokwakhe — “Kuyavuleka, kuyakusiza ukuthi ushaye indlwabu, kuyakusiza ukuthi ulale”, uchazela intatheli, ngokungadingekile — futhi uthi ufuna ukwenza kube lula ukuzibandakanya phakathi komsunguli wayo kanye nongqongqoshe bakahulumeni.
Okwamanje, uGallop ungusomabhizinisi oneminyaka engu-66 ubudala osanda kutshela i- Telegraph Uyaziqhenya ngokuthi ulala “njalo futhi ngokuzijabulisa” nabesilisa abasebasha. Kubonakala sengathi phakathi nalezi zigigaba zokuzijabulisa lapho aba nesikhathi se-Eureka, ngomqondo wendabuko. Waqala ukuqaphela ukuthi izinsizwa ayelele nazo zazinemibono ehlukahlukene eyiphutha ngocansi, ngokusekelwe ekusebenziseni izithombe zobulili ezingcolile. Futhi bheka, umqondo we-MLNP wazalwa.
Ngomoya wokubuza, ngibhalisele inguqulo yamahhala. Angikwazi ukusho ukuthi ngikujabulele kakhulu lokhu okuhlangenwe nakho, yize mhlawumbe kwakungenxa yokuthi iziqeshana engangizibukela zazinobude bemizuzwana emithathu kuphela - kufanele ukhokhe ukuze ubukele amavidiyo aphelele, mina angizange ngikhokhe. Ngokuvamile, isayithi libukeka njengesigaba sabafazi babafundi esibuyekeziwe. Uma uthanda ukukhanya kwemvelo okunonya, ukubukeka kobuso okugxilile, ukugoba okunamandla amancane efenisha ye-Ikea egugile kahle, kanye nokubhonga ngezikhathi ezithile okuhlanganiswe nemisindo yendlela yendiza yaseHeathrow, le kungaba yindawo yakho.
Abahlanganyeli babhala ama-blurb abo ukuze bahehe ababukeli, futhi kubonakala sengathi amaningana ahilela izinkomba zokunakekelwa kwezingane: “Lena ividiyo emfushane nje esiyiqophile ngenkathi sithola isikhathi ekuseni ngesikhathi izingane zisalele”; “Siphinde sisebenzisa isikhathi ingane yethu encane ilala ukuze sithole okuningi ngangokunokwenzeka”. Esinye isihloko singaphandle: “Faka ubufakazi njengoba umzimba kaTausha usabela ekuthinteni kukaTrevor. Yizwa ukububula kwakhe kuzwakala ehlathini, lalela izinyoni zisabela emisindweni yakhe yokuqala”. Ngenze njengoba ngifundisiwe futhi ngicabanga ukuthi kungenzeka ukuthi ngizwe i-woodpecker ethukile, yize kwakunzima ukusho.
Vele — njengoba amalungu ePhalamende akanye noNiblett esho ngokushesha — konke lokhu kuyilungelo Qhubeka, kanye nokuphazamiseka ezintweni eziza kuqala kwezepolitiki zamanje: izimpi, ukuntuleka kokudla okuzayo, ukwehluleka kwesimo sesistimu okwaholela ekubulaweni kwezingane. Njengoba uKemi Badenoch ekubeka ngomusa ePhalamende, “kunikeza incazelo entsha ukudlala ngesikhathi iRoma isha”. Ethukuthele ngenxa yokugxekwa, uNiblett ngokusobala useshintshe isu lakhe le-PR, ukuphakamisa izolo ukuthi lo mkhankaso ungowokusiza “abantu abadala” “abafuna ukuya ocansini”. Kungenzeka ukuthi i-Badenoch's Spads icabanga ngezinto ezimbili eziphathelene nokuvalelwa kathathu njengoba ngibhala.
Kodwa okuphinde kukhungathekise ukuthi uNiblett noGallop bathola inkinga yangempela, yize ikhambi abaliphakamisayo lingenalutho ngendlela ehlekisayo. Kusobala ukuthi ukusebenzisa izithombe zobulili ezingcolile, phakathi kwezinye izinkinga zanamuhla, kuthinta ukuziphatha kocansi okulimaza kokubili abesifazane nabesilisa, kodwa ikhambi alikwazi ukuba izithombe zobulili ezingcolile kakhulu - ngoba yilokhu ngempela okunikezwa yi-MLNP, naphezu kokuzikhulula esihlokweni sayo. Yiqiniso, azikho ama-webcam noma abesifazane abanamehlo acwebezelayo, into enhle engangabazeki; kodwa ukungabikho nje kwento embi akubalwa njengemfundo ebalulekile.
Ingxenye yenkinga ukuthi izithombe zabantu abajabulelana azisho lutho oluyinkimbinkimbi kakhulu. Njengoba zingakhiwanga ngamazwi, izithombe zivame ukuba lula kanjalo. Gijima kakhulu izimangalo ukuthi ividiyo ngayinye kusayithi lakhe “iyisifundo sento ethile ngokuvuma, ukuxhumana, izindinganiso ezinhle zocansi, ukuziphatha okuhle kocansi”. Kodwa lokho kufana nokuthi isithombe seKew Gardens siyisifundo sento ethile ngendlela yokutshala ama-rose. Eqinisweni, nokho, lokho okuthiwa sikubona kuboniswa esikrinini ku-MLNP - inhlonipho, ukuzwelana, ukukhathalelana ngothando ngomunye umuntu, noma yini - kungumphumela wokugcina wenqubo eseyimfihlakalo ephelele kwabaningi.
Njengoba ucansi onalo nabanye luwumphumela wobudlelwano obubanzi onabo nabo, imfundo yocansi ebiza igama layo ingadinga ukwenza izahlulelo eziqinile zokuziphatha mayelana nobudlelwano obuhle nobubi - hhayi nje ekamelweni lokulala noma ekhaphethini le-picnic. Kodwa ngale kwemibono evamile mayelana nokuvumelana nokuxhumana okungcono, lokhu kuyinto uNiblett noGallop abangafuni ukuyenza; futhi kungukungabaza okwabelwana ngakho cishe wonke umuntu endaweni ebizwa ngokuthi "imfundo yocansi". UNiblett uphikelela engxoxweni yakhe ukuthi "akasho ukuthi okuthandwa ngomunye umuntu akulungile". Futhi enkulumweni kaTed ka-2009, uGallop uthi: "lokhu akukhona neze ukwahlulela ... lokhu akukhona okuhle nokubi". Uze azibize ngokuthi ungumbukeli ojwayelekile wezithombe zobulili ezingcolile. Isambulo sakhe esikhulu ukuthi kuzo zonke izinhlobo zobulili ezingaba khona, kuzoba khona abazithandayo, nabanye abangazithandayo; futhi uma ungathandi okuthile, kulungile ukusho kanjalo.
Kodwa izikole zamabanga aphezulu, omagazini besifazane, kanye nemidlalo yeshashalazi ibilokhu ikhuluma ngaleli phuzu eliyisisekelo kusukela okungenani ngawo-1980. Ukumemezela futhi ngeke kushintshe lutho. Eqinisweni, umuntu ovamile ovuma umkhuba wobulili ozondwayo uyazi kahle ukuthi “cha” oqinile uhlala utholakala; kodwa abafuni ukuwusebenzisa, futhi hhayi ngoba bezizwa bevulekile. Incazelo ephikisanayo ukuthi abakwazi ukucabanga nganoma yikuphi ukucatshangelwa okukholisayo ngokumelene nomkhuba okukhulunywa ngawo; futhi, kulokhu, isiko elivamile alizange lenze lutho ukusiza. Ngokuphambene nalokho, lenze cishe zonke izinhlobo zokuziphatha kobulili zangavikeleka ekugxekweni okukhulu, uma nje kuhambisana nothuli lwenganekwane oluguqukayo lwemvume yabantu abadala.
Ukuthi into ethile imbi kuphela uma ungayithandi, kodwa kulungile uma uyithandile, kuyimpikiswano engakholisi neze. Akusebenzi kahle ngisho nasekunambitheni iwayini, ingasaphathwa eyobuhlobo babantu. Kwenza izinto ozithandayo noma ongazithandi ngezinto ezithile zibonakale sengathi kumelwe zakhiwe esihlabathini, futhi azifanele neze ukuzivikela. Imizwa yokunengeka iba “izintandokazi” kunokuba ibe yizimpendulo eziwusizo zokuqonda ukuziphatha. Ulahlekelwa amandla okuchaza lokho kwezinye izimo okungaba yinto engokwemvelo ngokuphelele ukusho: “Cha, angikwenzi kahle lokho, ngoba akusho lutho ngaphandle kokungidelela; futhi ungumuntu othanda ukuzama”.
Imfundo yangempela yocansi kumele, ngokwengxenye, ibe yimfundo yokuziphatha, kanti imfundo yokuziphatha ihilela ukwahlulela ngokwencazelo; kodwa izazi zokuziphatha zanamuhla zinesimo sokungahluleli, njengoba amagama akhethwayo esho. Ngakho-ke, baphatha izenzo zobulili njengezingafani nhlobo nanoma yimuphi omunye umkhakha wokuziphatha kwabantu: njengoba zivikelekile ngendlela exakile ezimweni zengqondo zansuku zonke njengenzondo nentukuthelo, ngisho noma izenzo ezenziwayo zisobala ukuthi zinenzondo nentukuthelo. Akukho okunye ongakushaya umuntu ngempama ebusweni, umklinye, umdonsele ngentambo, noma umbangele ngamabomu ukuba ahlehle, kodwa kamuva ungasho ngaphandle kwamahloni ukuthi "umhloniphe" kakhulu kuyo yonke indawo.
Njengoba kuphela abantu abalwela amalungelo abesifazane kanye nezinhlobo zenkolo ezibonakala zizimisele ukuphikisana nale ndaba engenangqondo, izisho ezingenalutho ezivela kubantu abanjengoNiblett noGallop mayelana "nokuxhumana okungcono", "ukukhulula abantu ehlazweni" kanye, vele, "ukwanda kwemvumelwano" cishe kuzoqhubeka ngaphandle kokuphazamiseka, kuzungeza kancane izinkinga zangempela zokuziphatha zokuxhumana ngokocansi kodwa kungalokothi kuhileleke ngempela. Engxoxweni ka-2019, uGallop ukhulume ngezinhlelo zokuqala ibhizinisi elibizwa ngokuthi i-ConSensual: hhayi, njengoba kungenzeka ukuthi uqale wesaba, isayithi lokufundisa ngocansi elihlose amalungu e-Conservative Party, kodwa "uhlelo lokusebenza oluphephile lokuthumela imiyalezo yocansi emphakathini, olukuvumela ukuthi uthumele imiyalezo yocansi ngokuphephile ngokuphelele futhi luthuthukise ukuxhumana kwakho ngokocansi ebuhlotsheni bakho (ngikuhlelile konke lokhu, ngidinga abatshalizimali kuphela)". Cabanga nge-avatar kaCindy egqoke amabhuzu amahle, ekukhumbuza ngenjabulo ukuthi uma othile ekubiza ngokuthi uyisifebe esingcolile nesinyanyekayo, kulungile impela, inqobo nje uma uthanda; kodwa hhayi nhlobo uma ungathandi! Mina ngokwami, nokho, ngicabanga ukuthi ngizonamathela ku-WhatsApp, kanye nomkhuba wami ojwayelekile wokugwema ukuthumela imiyalezo yocansi kubantu abangizondayo ngokusobala. Futhi lokho kuyimfundo yocansi umhlaba ongaba nayo mahhala.
I-athikili yoqobo ka Kathleen Stock