AKUSEKHO ukuhlanza ulimi lapho ukhuluma ngocansi noGabriel Deem, indoda ethi kusukela aneminyaka eyi-11 wayehlala ebenzisa izithombe zocansi ezingcolile.
Kwakuyimpoqo eyagcina imphuce noma isiphi isifiso sokuya ocansini lwangempela, oluyimfihlo nomunye umuntu. Indaba yakhe isebenza njengesiyeleliso sabazali ababhekene nokujwayelekile okusha okulethwe yi-Internet. Akuyona indaba elula ukuyizwa, kodwa ibalulekile noma ngabe ikanjani.
Okwaqala njengokujwayelekile, i-voyeurism yomfana wesikole nokuhlola kukhula kwaba umkhuba wokuthi i-Deem, manje eyi-27, ayinankinga yokuchaza njengokulutha, konke okubi njengokusebenzisa kabi izidakamizwa.
Ubeyisidididi esiphakeme ukuthi akekho umzali, ukube bebefunde ingqondo yakhe, ngabe bafuna eduze kwendodakazi yabo.
“Ngangena ezithombeni ezingcolile ezihlukumezayo. Ekugcineni ngaqala ukufisa ngokungazi ukuthi ebuhlotsheni bami obuseduze. Izinto zangempela ezihlobene nezocansi zomlomo - ezifana nomphimbo ojulile, ukushaya umphimbo - noma ucansi lwendunu, bengingafuni ekuqaleni. ”
UDemem ugcizelela ukuthi wayengakaze ahlukumeze, kepha okufakwayo bekukhona, kukhathaza ingqondo yakhe futhi kuhlanekezela umbono wakhe ngamantombazane nokusondelana.
Izinto ezibhebhezela ukungasebenzi kahle zitholakala kalula kunoma iyiphi ingane etholakala kwi-Intanethi, kusho uDemem, oyi Texan edolobheni namuhla nge-Beyond Border umhlangano wokungcebeleka we-Izingane Zethu.
Yini le porn oyinikezayo? “Ukuhlukunyezwa ebusweni - mshaye ngempama. Benza ukuthi akhale lapho befaka umthondo kuye phansi ngangokunokwenzeka. ”
Ngangihle ngifaka umusho wokudalula kule kholamu - ngivule ikhasi uma uJunior efaka iCl Fl Flakes yakhe eduze - kepha uDemem uthi uma ingane yakho ingakwazi ukuhamba kwi-Intanethi, isivele iyibonile le nto.
Ngakho-ke sizokhipha ngokulandelana okwamukelekayo emphakathini.
Futhi lowo ngumyalezo wakhe: Bukela lokho izingane zakho ezikuthola kumadivayisi wazo kagesi. Khuluma nabo, ngokungagwegwesi, ngalokho okusebusweni babo.
Besijwayele ukuyibiza nge-hard-core. Ukuchazwa okungcono kwaso kunobuthi. Kuyinto enobudlova, yokuhlisela abanye amandla futhi inengqondo futhi iyinqaba, iyatholakala ngemivimbo embalwa embalwa. I-Porn yake yadilizwa, yakhishwa yiphepha, yatholakala ngaphansi komatilasi noma endaweni yokulahla idolobha. Namuhla, akunamkhawulo ekusetshenzisweni okungacoliswanga njengoba izingane zichitha nsuku zonke, amahora amahlanu wesikhathi sesikrini, ezingalawulwa egumbini lokulala.
Kunobufakazi bokuthi ukulutha kwe-porn kubangela ukushaya kwamakhemikhali ebuchosheni obufana nezidakamizwa, kulingisa imiphumela kuma-receptors nama-neurotransmitters. Izibukeli ziyaqothuka futhi zikhulume ngokushayela. UDem uthi ukuhlukunyezwa kwakhe, nokwabanye abaningi abajoyina amaqembu asiza e-Inthanethi, kwaholela ekungasebenzi kahle kwe-erectile.
Ukuhlukumeza i-porn kuvimbela isifiso sengane. Iguqula indlela abafana ababheka ngayo amantombazane, uDemem uxwayisa, ukuthi bakhuluma kanjani ngabo emahholo esikoleni.
"Asizange sikhulume ngokuthi imaphi amantombazane aqabulana kahle lapho sineminyaka engu-14 ubudala, kodwa (mayelana) nokuthi yini ezonikeza ucansi lomlomo oluhamba phambili noma evumela ucansi lwendunu."
Futhi amantombazane abeka izimpahla zawo emqhudelwaneni osezingeni eliphezulu lapho ukuthumelelana imiyalezo nezithombe kusetshenziswa amaqhinga okulwa lapho kulwa nezimbangi zamazwe omhlaba.
Usho kanjalo uJennifer Lawrence: “kungenzeka ukuthi isoka lakho lizobuka izithombe ezingcolile noma lizobuka wena.” Izithombe zakhe ezinqunu zigqekezwe ngobugebengu kusakhanya ilanga.
Ekugcineni, uDemem akakwazanga ukuvuka lapho ebonwa noma ethintwa umzimba womuntu wesifazane. Ubedla ngokudla izithombe ezingcolile zobulili ezingcolile. Ekugcineni, wahamba umkhuhlane obandayo ukuze alulame, ushintsho olude nolunzima.
Kukhona inkolelo, enesisekelo esithile, sokuthi izidalwa ezihlasela i-inthanethi zisebenzisa i-porn njengesihibe. Kodwa indaba kaDemem isitshela ukuthi kukhona ukuguquka kwekhwalithi ezimisweni zomphakathi kanye nobudlelwano obudlondlobalisa ukukhula kwezocansi, okuthonya impilo nokuvikeleka kwabafana namantombazane ethu, ukuthi bayichaza kanjani imizwa yabo ngemizimba yabo, uqobo lwabo, indawo yabo emhlabeni yenza ukulangazelela eyodwa izinsuku lapho ukuhlanekezela kwedolobha kanye nokuhlangana kwabo okuhlekisayo kwakukhonjwa kalula kumantombazane e-pubescent. Bambalwa kithi abaphunyuke bengangcolisiwe oklebe bezinkukhu ababenuka ithuba lokuba msulwa. Sibe nesibindi sokukhula kwabesifazane phakathi kwesimo esidlangile, futhi sabheka ngobuqili inkohliso yokuthi singavikela izingane zethu ngokufundisa ukumemeza "ngengozi engaziwa."
I-Intanethi ibeka ezandleni zabafana namantombazane umhlaba wethu omkhulu, omuhle futhi omangalisayo. Kepha lolu hambo lugcwele izinto ezimbi.
Bazali kumele bahlakaniphe ezingozini zabo.
Qhubeka ukhulume nezingane zakho, thanda ngokungagodli. Kunqonqozwa emnyango wekamelo njalo.
Beka phansi izindinganiso, futhi uqiniseke ukuthi isibopho siqinile ukuze kuthi lapho indodana noma indodakazi yakho izibuza yona - njengoba sonke sazibuza, futhi bonke bazobuza - kungani "lokhu kungazizwa kahle", nabo bezwa izwi lakho, phakathi amathonya amabi athonya kubo.
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