Ingabe ukuyeka izithombe zobulili ezingcolile kuzoxazulula izinkinga zami? Izithombe zobulili ezingcolile empeleni zithatha indawo yezinjabulo zansuku zonke ezazinikeza okhokho bakho umuzwa wokuphila kahle — njengobungane. Lokhu kusho ukuthi ukuyeka izithombe ezingcolile akuwanele. Udinga ukuthola kabusha leyo mithombo yemvelo yempilo.
Ngeshwa, enye yezindleko eziphakeme kakhulu zokulutha umlutha ukuthi i-hijacks (i-overstimulates bese ihlupha) ubuchwepheshe obuchofoza ubuchopho ukuze uthole ukuxhumana nabanye okuvuza nokuthobisa. Uma ungakwazi ukuzwa izinjabulo ezicashile ngenxa yobuzwe bobuchopho obukhulu, ingxoxo nomusa kubonakala kungenangqondo. Esikhundleni sobumusa, cishe uzomuzwa wokuthi ufuna nje "isikhala," kanye nesenzo esibi kakhulu.
Uma lokhu kungukuthi uzizwa kanjani, yenza konke okusemandleni akho ukungazinaki imizwa yakho yesisu bese uthola noma kunjalo. Uma ugxila ukunakwa kwakho ekungeneni kwakho "kokukhululeka," umvuzo ojikelezayo ebuchosheni bakho ubuka nxazonke eminye imithombo yenjabulo. Yenza kube lula ukuthi ubuchopho bakho buzuze kulezo zinsuku zenjabulo ezaziphendukela ukuze zithole: ukuxhumana nobungane, abalingani bangempela, isikhathi semvelo, ukuzivocavoca, ukufezekisa, njalonjalo.
Ingabe ukuyeka izithombe zobulili ezingcolile kuzoxazulula izinkinga zami? Ngokuphindaphindiwe, abasebenzisi be-porn babika ukuthi njengoba beshiya i-porn ngemuva, bakuthola kulula futhi kulula ukuxhumana, benza amahlaya bezungeza, bethandana njalo njalo. Sheshisa inqubo ngokwenza iphuzu ukuxhumana nabanye — ngisho nangaphambi kokuba uzizwe uvumelana nakho. Nayi ifayili le- uhlu lwemibono ukuze uthole izindlela zokwenza lokho nje. Zama okuningi okudingayo ukuze uthole ukuxhumana okugculisayo-futhi khumbula ukuthi kuthola lula, ngoba ukuzijabulisa kwenza ngcono ubuchopho. Umqondo wokuxhumeka umshwalense omkhulu ngokuphindaphindiwe. Thola okwengeziwe ukweseka noma ukululekwa uma uzwa ukuthi uyayidinga.
I-White-knuckling ngeke ibe ngokwanele ukuzinza ukubuyiswa kwakho. Iqiniso liwukuthi, abantu abakwazi ukulawula imizwa yabo ngokwabo, okungenani hhayi isikhathi eside. Iziboshwa ezithunjwa yodwa zihlala zihlambalaza. Ngamanye amazwi, kuvamile ukuzizwa ukhathazekile noma ucindezelekile uma uhlukanisiwe. Njengoba izwi lithi, "Okunamathiselwe akuyona nje umqondo omuhle; kungumthetho. "Ngenye yomshuwalense wezempilo ongcono kakhulu emhlabeni jikelele.
Kungani uxhumano lubalulekile
Uyazi ukuthi ngaphansi kwezimo ezivamile, abantu baqhutshwa kakhulu ngesidingo sokunamathiselwe kunamanye imithombo yokuzijabulisa? (Bheka Umlutha njengesiyaluyalu sokunamathisela nguFilip J. Flores) Thina kudingeka lokhu ukuxhasana, hhayi nje kwamaphuzu abalulekile ebuntwaneni bethu, njengoba uFeud ushumela, kodwa kuzo zonke izimpilo zethu.
Lokhu kungenxa yokuthi sinentambo yokuba yizinyamazana zesizwe, ezinamabhangqa amabili — hhayi izizungu zokuzimela. Uma ulinganisela, uyachuma ebudlelwaneni obusondele, obuthembekile kanye nothando olufudumele (kanye nokuzivocavoca umzimba, ukufezekisa, njalonjalo). I-Companionship ikhipha amazinga aphilile e-dopamine namanye ama-neurochemicals "azizwa kahle", njenge-oxytocin, okusiza ukukugcina ulinganisela.
Ukuzuza okuvela ekuxhumaneni nabanye kuvela ngendlela yangempela. Isibonelo, ukuxhumana kusiza ukunciphisa i-cortisol ("i-hormone yokucindezeleka"), enganciphisa amasosha akho omzimba ngaphansi kwengcindezi. “Singagugi nakancane uma sinomuntu lapho ozosisiza asilawule,” kuchaza isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo / isazi sezinzwa UJames A. Coan.
Akumangalisi ukuthi iziguli ze-HIV nomlingani zihlala isikhathi eside futhi zithuthuke Isandulela ngculazi ngokushesha. Amanxeba aphulukisa kabili ngokushesha kanye nobuhlobo, uma kuqhathaniswa nokuhlukaniswa. Ukuthinta okufudumele phakathi kwemibhangqwana kunciphisa izinyathelo ezihlukahlukene zokucindezeleka. Uthando oluvame ukuvame ukuthokoza futhi luzuzise izinhlobo eziboshiwe-noma ngaphandle kocansi.
Kodwa izipho ezijulile kakhulu zokuxhumeka okude zingase zibe kwengqondo. Vala ukuxhumana ngokomzwelo kuhlotshaniswa nakho izinga eliphansi lokulutha umlutha futhi ukucindezeleka. Bashintsha izindlela zakho ze-neural kanye ne-chemistry chemistry uma uhlanganyela kuzo, uqinisa umqondo wakho wokuzicabangela nokwenza uzwela nokuhleleka komphakathi.
Ingabe ukuyeka izithombe zobulili ezingcolile kuzoxazulula izinkinga zami?
Ukunqoba umlutha ngokuqinisekile kwenza kube lula ukubhekana nezinye izinselele ekuphileni kwakho. Ngaphandle kokufuna izifiso, ubuchopho bakho bulinganisela futhi ukucabanga kwakho kuba ngcono kakhulu. Ungabona ama-nuances angcono futhi abhalisa izinjabulo zokubhalisa njengenjabulo futhi, okwenza ukuphila kube mnandi kakhulu. Nanka amazwana wabasebenzisi ababili abalulamelayo:
Impilo "yayiba buthuntu" ngenkathi ngingene kakhulu entweni ye-p / m. Ngivele ngacabanga ukuthi injalo impilo, kanti i-p / m ibikukhululeka okwesikhashana ekutheni impilo ibinjani. Manje sengithola injabulo eyengeziwe ngeqiniso lempilo: ingxoxo emnandi, ingoma emnandi, ukuzivoxavoxa okuhle, umuzwa wokufeza okuthile ngemuva kokwenza umsebenzi wesikole.
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I-PMO ifaka ubuntu bakho bemvelo obuningi. Njengoba ngithole emavikini ayisishiyagalombili edlule, abafana abaphilile, abanesifiso sobulili akudingeki bazame ukuzethemba. Ukuzethemba kuyinto nje egeleza isuka esimweni sami semvelo sokuba (uma ngingeyona i-PMOing yonke imimoya yami yezocansi kude). Le "mojo" igcwele kakhulu kunocansi nje kuphela - ifinyelela kuzo zonke ezinye izindawo - ithemba, umdlandla, uthando nokunakekela, ukuncintisana nokunye. Manje sengizithola sengikhuluma izinto futhi ngenza ngezindlela, futhi ngizibuza ukuthi kuvelaphi, ngoba bekungafanele ngicabange kuqala; kwavele kwaphuma kimi. Ekugcineni ngabona ukuthi le yindlela abantu abajwayelekile ngayo! Kugeleza nje….
Ngokuphambene nalokho, bengilokhu ngilawula imicabango yami isikhathi eside, ngoba bengikudinga. Umoya wami wawungekho ngaze ngaphoqa ukuthi ngilawule indlela engiziphatha ngayo ukuze ngibukeke ngijwayelekile - ngenza ukuzethemba ukuze abantu bangaboni ukuthi angizethembi Ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, uzothola ukuthi ugibele kakhulu ihhashi ingqondo yayo futhi ikuyise lapho udinga ukuya khona, kunokuba kube nguwe wedwa obiza isibhamu. Akuthuki kancane ekuqaleni, kepha ngumgwaqo wangempela. Futhi, ungakuthola kungahambi kahle ngezikhathi ezithile ngesikhathi sokululama, noma ukufika nokuhamba ngezindlela ezididayo (“Kungani ngingazizwa ngithembele kakhulu njengoba ngenzile izolo?”). Ungayijuluki - ilinganisa ngokushesha okukhulu futhi konke kuyingxenye yenqubo.
Ukuze uthole okuningi: I-Porn, Ukushaya indlwabu kanye noMojo: I-Neuroscience Perspective
Nakhu ukubonwa kwendoda eyodwa empilweni nge-porn nangaphandle kwayo
Ngenze lolu hlu lwama Pro / Con njengomuntu oshukumisayo, ngizokwabelana lapha.
Pro - Akukho PMO
• Ukulala okungcono
• Ujabule futhi ujabule ukubona abantu / Kungenzeka ukuthi bangacasuli nabanye
• Amandla amaningi nesisusa sokuzivocavoca
• Kungenzeka ukuthi angene ebuhlotsheni obuhle
• Kunesisusa kakhulu futhi asivila
• Ukuzizwa okuqinile, njalo okungenani okuhle uma kungenjalo
• Ukuzihlonipha okungaphezulu nobuntu esixukwini
• Kungcono ukuba ngumphakathi / Ungabi namahloni kude nezimo zomphakathi
• Ukwazi kangcono ukusiza abanye futhi amathuba okulimaza abanye
• Ukuthula okungcono kwengqondo
• Ukugula kancane / Ungaguli kalula
• Amandla amaningi uma udinga
• Ujabule njalo ukubona abanye
• Ukungakhombi abesifazane / Ukubheka kakhulu ubuso babo
• Ukubona ukuthi abesifazane kufanele baphathwe kanjani ngempela
• Amathuba azovuleka awusoze walindela
• Ubudlelwano nobuhlobo ngeke bube namandla futhi bube lula kalula
• Uzothuthukiswa ukuze ufunde ukuthi ungaba kanjani namantombazane langempela
• Ukulinganisa ubuchopho bomqondo, hhayi njalo ukulangazelela ukulungiswa okusheshayo ukukunika umuzwa omuhleI-Con - PMO
• Lazy
• uzilimaza wena nabanye
• Kungenzeka ukulimaza abanye
• Kungenakwenzeka ukuthi ucabange ngabanye
• Imfanelo yokulala engalungile
• Kungenzeka ukuthi angene ebuhlotsheni obuhle
• Ukhathazekile kalula
• Ukushintsha kwemizwa engavamile
• Ukuzenyeza
• Ukuhleka kude nezimo zenhlalo
• Gula kalula
• Amandla angaphansi uma udinga
• Akujabuli ngaso sonke isikhathi ukubona abanye
• Ukuhlosisa abesifazane
• Ukubuka izithombe ezingcolile kukwenza ujwayele ukucabanga ukuthi le yindlela abathanda noma okufanele baphathwe ngayo, besetshenziswa njengamathoyizi
• Ubuhlobo bakho nobungane bakho buzohlupheka kakhulu
• Uzolahlekelwa isisusa sakho ukuthola amantombazane langempela njengabangane
• 1 kakhulu kakhulu, futhi i-1000 ayanele
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