Day 56 – “I’m a Playa”

alpha maleContinued from this rebooting account

I have numbers and I talk to a lot of different girls. I went from 0 relationships to 3 relationships in 56 days. I had hankie-pankie with 2 girls this week.

The first one I ejaculated like three times in one orgasm. Women love this for some reason lol. They are always surprised by it looolll. I did have a chaser effect.

I felt DRUNK and super tired the next day. I noticed some grumpiness. The ‘sun’ in my chest went away again and I did see a decrease in my self-confidence but it came back the very next day (24 hours later).

I also noticed that my voice was not as deep anymore. It seems the longer I hold my seed, the deeper my voice gets.

She told me that my voice has her legs trembling and makes her excited “down there”. I’ve always had a deep voice but it sounds different. It sounds really good and I like hearing myself talk now.

She says she likes me because I am so chilled (Thank you no PMO).

The second rendezvous with another chick was pretty awesome too. She swears up and down I am a player. She tells me it a million times a day. I read somewhere when women tell you this its because they are really attracted to you and are trying to frame you into a box to logically explain why they like you. Oh well. It’s not stopping her from hooking up with me 🙂

I tried doing karezza with both but it never works out for me. I am going to wait till I get a steady girlfriend.

On both occasions where I had an O, I was worried I would become the terrible person I was before I started this process…but no. I am still here. I really can’t believe porn affects people that much. I really can’t believe it!

Another thing I have noticed is that I can sense fear from men my age. It is the weirdest thing. Every time I get around, they FLINCH. This is especially true at my workplace. Seriously, it’s like they fear me. I see it in their eyes.

At first I thought it was my imagination but it keeps happening over and over. It’s weird. They get nervous around me….maybe I am finally turning into an alpha male!! But when I get around older men, they respect me. They shake my hand and are genuinely nice to me.

My mood has leveled out finally. I am either really chilled or just happy and enjoying life. This is a big improvement from where I was before: suicidal, extreme mood swings, schizo tendencies.

I’ve been going out every weekend. It’s like I have too. If I don’t socialize and spend time with people I go crazy. Night time comes around and I turn into this beast!!!

I’ve also been getting really cocky and self-assured lately. I have such a I don-t give a f%ck attitude. I just know life is only going to get better. I don’t know if that’s a bad thing….you know what???….f#ck that….it’s not a bad thing… For the first time in a very long time I feel good about myself. I have every right to walk with my chest out!