Lẹhin ọdun 30 ti PMO - Mo tọju okó lakoko ajọṣepọ fun igba akọkọ lailai ninu igbesi aye mi

Awọn ọjọ 82 jẹ nọmba isokuso lati firanṣẹ nipa, ṣugbọn Mo kọlu ibi-iṣẹlẹ nla kan loni. Isalẹ kiakia. Mo ti kọ silẹ ati pe Mo ti fẹ ọrẹbinrin mi akọkọ (ati alabaṣepọ ibalopo akọkọ). Ti o fi opin si ọdun mẹwa ati pe oju tì mi lati gba pe PMO jẹ ki n ni fere ko si igbesi aye ibalopo.

Ikọsilẹ naa kii ṣe nitori PMO nikan ṣugbọn Mo le sọ fun ọ pe ibatan pẹlu igbesi aye ibalopọ jẹ ibatan buburu, akoko.

Lẹhin ikọsilẹ ikọsilẹ Mo ti lọ nipasẹ ọpọlọpọ awọn ayipada, pẹlu pipadanu iwuwo pupọ, iyipada iṣẹ mi, ọkọ ayọkẹlẹ, ihuwasi, ohun gbogbo. Ṣugbọn Emi ko yi PMO pada, botilẹjẹpe oludamoran igbeyawo kan sọ fun mi ni deede pe Mo jẹ afẹsodi si ere onihoho (Emi ko rii idi lati dawọ — Emi ko ni GF ati pe o jẹ itunu pupọ).

Sare siwaju odun kan lẹhin ikọsilẹ ati ki o Mo pade a lẹwa ni abojuto ti girl ati awọn ti o le tẹlẹ gboju le won awọn itan — Emi ko le gba o soke. Ati pe bi lakoko igbeyawo mi ni mo bẹrẹ si ronu hey, Mo kan bajẹ ati pe ọmọbirin yii yoo ni lati gbe pẹlu otitọ pe ọrẹ nla ni mi YATO fun ibalopọ.

O ṣe atilẹyin pupọ o sọ pe a yoo 'ṣiṣẹ nipasẹ' awọn ọran mi - ati pe iyẹn jẹ ki n ronu gaan nipa kini ọran mi jẹ. Ati pe niwọn igba ti a ti fun mi ni awotẹlẹ ohun ti iṣoro naa fẹrẹ to ọdun kan sẹhin, Mo bẹrẹ kika nipa rẹ, rii apejọ yii, YBOP, ati awọn aaye miiran. Ati ni ọjọ kan nigbati mo wa ni isinmi ati dipo lilọ si ita Emi yoo wo ere onihoho lori kọǹpútà alágbèéká mi ati igbadun ara mi, o kọlu mi - eyi ni iṣoro naa. Mo nilo lati da.

Ọjọ yẹn jẹ ọjọ mejilelọgọrin sẹyin ati pe inu mi dun lati sọ pe Mo ti jẹ pipe laisi baraenisere ati pe ko si orgasm. Emi ko ni igberaga lati sọ pe MO ṣe ifasẹyin lori ere onihoho ni gbogbo awọn ọjọ diẹ o dabi - nigbagbogbo o kan iṣẹju diẹ ti bikini / mojuto rirọ ṣugbọn Mo mọ pe o ṣi aṣiṣe. Eyi ni ogun ti mo tun ja.

Sibẹsibẹ, o kere ju fun mi, o dabi pe nofap jẹ ipilẹ ti ojutu, nitori pe iṣoro ti mo ni ni aibikita nitori iku - Emi ko ni nkankan lati PIV tabi BJ tabi ohunkohun miiran ju ọwọ mi lọ. Nipa imukuro ọwọ mi patapata Mo le laiyara (lọra pupọ, ṣugbọn dajudaju) lero lẹẹkansi.

Nipa awọn ọjọ 45 ni Mo le rii daju pe PIED yoo lọ, ṣugbọn ko tun jẹ pipe. Mo sọ fun GF mi nipa iṣoro mi lẹhinna, eyiti o jẹ ohun miiran fun ariyanjiyan nibi; o kere ju ni ipo mi o ṣe iranlọwọ pupọ lati sọ fun u nitorina o loye awọn ohun ti o ni lati ṣe lati ṣe iranlọwọ fun mi lati dara si.

Ati lati lọ si imọlẹ ni opin oju eefin - eyiti o jẹ ireti imọlẹ akọkọ - ni owurọ yii Mo ni anfani lati tọju rẹ lakoko PIV nitorinaa fun igba akọkọ lailai ninu igbesi aye mi (ati pe Mo wa ni 30s ti o ti pẹ. ) Mo fun ọmọbirin kan ni orgasm kan lati iyẹn. Mo tun ni imọlara pupọ diẹ sii (o han gedegbe niwọn igba ti MO le wọle ati tẹsiwaju) ṣugbọn Mo tun ni awọn ọna lati lọ ṣaaju atunbere ni kikun.

Nitorinaa bẹẹni, eyi jẹ diẹ ti ifiweranṣẹ iṣogo, ṣugbọn Mo gbadun kika awọn ifiweranṣẹ ti awọn eniyan miiran nitori aṣeyọri wọn fun mi ni ireti fun aṣeyọri mi. Mo tun ni awọn ọna lati lọ, ṣugbọn ti MO ba le ṣe akopọ awọn aaye ti irin-ajo mi:

  • Igba pipẹ PMO okudun ti o jẹ ki igbeyawo rot lati inu nitori rẹ
  • Nikẹhin koju afẹsodi mi ni bii oṣu mẹta sẹhin ati pe o dara 100% lori nofap (ko si eti tabi baraenisere) ṣugbọn kii ṣe nla lori ere onihoho (dinku pupọ, ṣugbọn kii ṣe onihoho)
  • Pin gbogbo awọn alaye pẹlu ọrẹbinrin tuntun. Nitorinaa Mo wa lori ipo 'rọrun' atunṣe ni akoko kanna bi atunbere.
  • PIED ti o dinku pupọ (ti o rọpo pẹlu aibalẹ iṣẹ diẹ) nipa awọn ọjọ 45 ni
  • Ni anfani lati pari PIV 82 ọjọ ni
  • O ti kọja awọn ọjọ 90 laisi orgasm ti ara mi, ati pe Emi kii yoo gbamu - nitorinaa ko ṣe pataki fun gbogbo awọn eniyan buruku

tl; Dr PMO okudun ti ko ni anfani lati pari PIV ni anfani lati ṣe lẹhin awọn ọjọ 82 NOFAP. Atunbere ni pato ko pari ṣugbọn pupọ ni ilọsiwaju ati pe o tọ awọn irubọ ti a ṣe

ỌNA ASOPỌ - Ifiweranṣẹ ọjọ 82 - ina kan wa ni opin oju eefin naa!

by sibẹsibẹanotheranon1


 

Imudojuiwọn - Lẹhin oṣu mẹrin, Mo bẹrẹ lati di deede

Ayeye nofap oṣu mẹrin mi jẹ ọjọ meji sẹhin. O jẹ deede oṣu kan lẹhin ti Mo pade ọrẹbinrin mi lọwọlọwọ, ẹniti o jẹ koriko ti o fọ awọn ibakasiẹ pada si mi nikẹhin ti fọ iyipo PMO. O dun pupọ ati oye ati pe Mo fẹ ki o buru pupọ ṣugbọn ko le ṣe ati fun igba akọkọ ninu igbesi aye mi Mo sọ pe MO fẹ dara julọ, kii ṣe fun u nikan, ṣugbọn fun ara mi. Ati lẹhinna Mo ka, ka, ka ati pinnu lati ṣe eto naa.

<--break->” src=”https://www.yourbrainonporn.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/02/spacer.gif” title=”<--break-->“>It has not been without its bumps. I’ve been completely free of fap — no edging, no masturbation — but not pornfree. I’ve learned that its not because I am not satisfied looking at my girl, but its because of the novelty of seeing something new.</p><p>My main symptom was terrible PIED; while I was married for over a decade (to my first girlfriend and only sexual partner ever) I can’t say I ever successfully had PIV sex. I just assumed I was ‘broken’ at sex and that the PMO cycle was not the problem.</p><p>During the divorce I saw a counselor who told me I was addicted to porn, but I was going through a LOT of things and chose to ignore it, thinking whats the problem with PMO when you don’t have anyone. Looking back it was so stupid, but in my own defence, I was able to lose a LOT of weight and change my attitude towards women even before I quit PMO.</p><p>At around the 30 day mark of the program I told my girlfriend what I was going through. She was supportive and I stuck with ‘easy’ mode in the sense I still had sexual activity, just didn’t O, and still had PIED issues. At around the 90 day mark I for the first time in my life had PIV sex where I gave her an orgasm, and a few days later, I actually had an O inside a woman for the first time EVER. It was such a different experience that I didn’t even know it was happening till it was done.</p><p>Suffice to say I felt pretty good (even though like any one who is having first time sex, it was sooo quick). Then I think I fell into a flatline, or something happened. For the next two weeks I couldn’t get it up at all, and I was despondent. I felt like I did in my first relationship, that I was broken. But unlike last time, I felt horrible because I wanted to be better, because I know myself and my girlfriend deserve a normal sex life.</p><p>If one thing I’ve learned as a side effect of giving up PMO is that your emotions pour out of you like no one’s business. And this weekend after some progress in the right direction a few things happened that led me down a deep, dark path of self doubt. I can say honestly I never thought about relapsing, but I could not see the light at the end of the tunnel.</p><p>I also read the forums and we all know that in addition to the success stories we have stories of struggle, and there was a post yesterday that was something like “I just want to cry”. And I’m a typical guy, was told never to cry, and then you add on PMO which masks our emotions, I never cried. But I just cried about where I am, and cried in front of my girlfriend, just because the emotions were pouring out and I wasn’t bottling it up anymore and I wasn’t resorting to fap either.</p><p>As someone who PMOed for 30+ years and didn’t cry for 30+ years I can say that both things are definitely wrong. I can only wish someone I trusted had told me this. I can’t say that crying on its own felt better, but confronting my emotions, my insecurities, my fears, with someone I trusted was a big step of the process.</p><p>So after being reassured that my girlfriend and I would work on it as a team, and us talking over some things that normal couples do (such as being more expressive during sex over what we like, etc) we tried again the next couple of days. The next day, I was able to have PIV sex and have an O (so yes, the second time in my life inside a woman). Since I was aware of the sensation I was able to actually delay the O for a few minutes, but still not enough for my GF to O. The day after, I can say that it was a normal (still brief) sexual encounter .. I brought my GF to O and then I O afterwards.</p><p>In any regular life this is not something to write home about, because the sex was just ‘normal’. But after all this time, being normal is all I want. I now have regular issues – having to time my and my GF O, different sexual libidos, etc. And I’m not completely out of the woods. I am still so insecure about this and know that doubt will come into my mind again.</p><p>But I only know one thing — PMO is no longer an option. I just can’t do it anymore. One last aside. A couple of days ago my GF and I watched the movie Thanks for Sharing. That movie is about sex addiction but there’s a LOT in common with our problems (as porn and masturbation addiction are often also problems of sex addicts). My GF told me after watching it she felt a lot more understanding of the journey I was going through. Since she was sitting next to me she also said I was sweating a lot through the movie. I believe that was because it was uncomfortably accurate. So we had some more serious and frank discussions about the addiction and the recovery process.</p><p>I told her that while I’ve been tempted to fap I didn’t do it because I didn’t want to fail you guys online, fail the fellow soldiers in the nofap war, fail her, or fail myself. I think about all of those folks I’d let down if I fap and then I don’t. I told her the truth that I’ve had much more difficulty with porn and that I want to give it up for good too. And then she asked me, very sweetly, to give that up for her too. And you know, I’m glad she asked me. Some guys might take it poorly (like the Don Jon character did in that movie) but I know she did it because she loves me and now every time I’m tempted to click a link I don’t want to let her down.</p><p>tl;dr After four months with some severe ups and downs, many of them emotional, am able to have normal sex with all the normal issues that normal people have. The reboot isn’t complete but the journey is the ONLY option I have.</p><hr><p> </p><p><strong>UPDATE2  <a class=- O le pada wa lẹẹkansii (ti a kọ silẹ nitori ere onihoho)

Nitorinaa, Mo ti ni iṣoro nla pẹlu ere onihoho ni gbogbo igbesi aye mi. Ọrẹ mi ti o dara julọ ṣafihan mi si i pada ni ile-iwe giga ati pe emi jẹ geeky, ọmọde nerdy nitorinaa Mo ranti lilo awọn wakati ti n gbiyanju lati ṣe igbasilẹ awọn GIF lati modẹmu 1200 baud mi ati fifi pamọ si baba mi (akọsilẹ ẹgbẹ: awọn obi mi sunmọ lati kan sọ fun mi buburu rẹ laisi alaye lailai idi ti KO fi ṣiṣẹ. O tun ni lati ro pe awọn ọmọ rẹ gbọn ju tirẹ lọ - ti wọn ba fẹ ṣe nkan ti o ko fọwọsi, wọn yoo ṣe).

Ibasepo mi pẹlu ere onihoho ṣaju eyikeyi ibatan gidi ti Mo ni pẹlu awọn obinrin. Ko ni ipa gaan bii mo ṣe tọju awọn obinrin, ṣugbọn o ṣe itọju bi mo ṣe tọju ibalopọ. Ati ila isalẹ ni Mo fẹ ibalopọ laisi idajọ ati lori ibeere dipo awọn igbega ati isalẹ ti ibalopo gidi.

Nitorinaa lakoko ti Emi ko ni awọn ifiṣura nipa nini 'ibalopọ' ṣaaju igbeyawo Mo ranti bi o ṣe jẹ alaini ti o jẹ ati bii MO ṣe fẹrẹ pada lẹsẹkẹsẹ si ere onihoho. Nko ni ibalopọ ni alẹ igbeyawo, ati lẹhinna fun ọdun mẹrinla Emi yoo bẹru alẹ alẹ ọsẹ mi pẹlu iyawo mi (ni bayi) iyawo, ṣiṣe awọn ikewo lati yago fun, ati lẹhinna nifẹ lati lọ si yara miiran lati wa diẹ ere onihoho lati ja si pa si.

Lakoko ti eyi kii ṣe iṣoro nikan ni ibatan mi, ni pẹtẹlẹ o jẹ ipin nla ninu rẹ - o ṣee ṣe 90%. Ati pe kii ṣe ani aini ibalopọ, o jẹ aini aini ibaramu. Ati pe lakoko ti Mo ni iyalẹnu nigbati iyawo mi (bayi) beere fun ikọsilẹ, ni bayi Emi yoo ronu idi ti ọrun apadi fi duro pẹ to, kilode ti Mo gba laaye?

Nitorinaa lakoko awọn ilana ikọsilẹ Mo ti rii onimọran igbeyawo kan ti o ṣe ayẹwo awọn ọran mi daradara pẹlu ere onihoho. Ṣugbọn Mo tun foju rẹ, paapaa nitori Mo jẹ alailẹgbẹ nikan fun igba akọkọ ni ọdun ogún, ati ere onihoho ni ohun itura ti Mo ti mọ ni gbogbo igbesi aye mi.

Ati lẹhinna Mo pade ọmọbirin pipe kan, ati pe a ni ibalopọ. Ati pe o jẹ idiwọ. O lọ daradara lẹẹkansi. Ṣugbọn ni akoko yii, Emi kii yoo ro pe ‘ọna ti o jẹ’. Mo nilo lati mọ ohun ti o jẹ aṣiṣe, nitori Mo ti ro pẹlu iyawo mi atijọ pe ‘ibalopọ ko ṣe pataki ti o ba ni ifẹ’ tabi diẹ ninu akọmalu bii iyẹn. Mo ti mọ nisinsinyi pe igbesi-aye alayọ kan, ti o ni imuṣẹ jẹ ibeere kan fun ibatan igba pipẹ.

Iyẹn ni igba ti Mo wa kọja awọn apejọ alailẹgbẹ ati aibikita ati ka diẹ ninu awọn itan nipa awọn eniyan gẹgẹ bi emi. Ati pe o ti jẹ opopona pipẹ pẹlu awọn ifasẹyin laarin, ṣugbọn Mo n gbiyanju lati fi ere onihoho ati fap silẹ fun fere ọdun kan. Ọrẹbinrin lọwọlọwọ mọ nipa iṣoro mi ati pe o ti ṣe atilẹyin.

Niwọn igba ti Mo n gbiyanju lati fi awọn mejeeji silẹ, Mo ti ni ibalopọ ti o dara julọ (kii ṣe pipe ni eyikeyi ọna) ati pe mo le ṣe itara pẹlu rẹ (Emi ko ṣe pẹlu iyawo mi atijọ). Ati pe gigun ati kukuru ninu rẹ ni pe Mo tun ṣe alabapin, pẹlu akoko yii igbesi aye ibalopọ ti o ni ilera laisi ere onihoho ati fap gẹgẹ bi apakan ti ero naa.

tl; dr Ibasepo akọkọ ti o fẹrẹ to ọdun ogún yiyi lati inu nitori iwa afẹsodi PMO o si yori si ikọsilẹ. Ni anfani lati yi i pada ki o kọ ibasepọ tuntun kan (** MO NI ENGAGED **) lẹhin fifun PMO.

Nitorina fun awọn ti o lero pe o wa ni ipo kekere, ọpọlọpọ wa wa nibẹ. O le tan-an ni ayika, laibikita ibiti o ba wa.