I now have a quiet/deep resolve and undying persistence in my actions, quiet confidence, and a calmer and more confident demeanor. (I’ve always been more of an introvert.) I’ve been much more productive and creative during this time too, it’s as if weights/shackles have been removed from my brain allowing its liberation. My thoughts are much clearer now. Intrusive thoughts and porn flash-backs are much less now. This helps me become very focused when I’m working, instead of consciously fighting off unwanted thoughts. It’s like hearing that ekg-flatline of just pure focus at times, i.e. being in the zone.
Physically, I have gained 10lbs of muscle. I have been lifting weights after not doing so for years. I stand straighter now and am taller. Fapping was curving my spine/enlarging a shoulder — I am around an inch-taller than I was a year ago (I’m 26). My voice is also more grounded, deeper and generally more confident sounding now.
Walking around in public without viewing life through an unwanted lens of pornography/sexcraze is wonderful. I see people more for what they really are and look at women and think about them more as a person and wonder what their life is like. I can remember a time where everything I saw was in my mind processed as sexual. This used to frighten me and I always wanted it to go away, it made me a shell of a human.
I don’t have a girlfriend. This is something I’ve really wanted for a long-time, I’ve been single for years, but I’m not so worried anymore. Not everything has fallen into my lap since doing nofap, but what’s important to me is that I have become a better person. It’s said luck is preparation meeting opportunity, and I’m becoming more and more prepared everyday.
100-days is only the beginning for me, I see no point in ever returning to the prison of porn-masturbation-orgasm. Every day I make it, the urge fades further away into obscurity where it belongs.
I sit and wonder about how much I could of been, what I could of done, but more importantly… what I CAN do going forward, what I CAN become, and what I AM becoming. I like reading this reddit because it reminds me what poison pmo really is, this helps strengthen my resolve to never fall into pmo’s grips again, because I’m finally free.
ỌNA ASOPỌ - What has changed after 100 days on hardmode
by Jhawk206
;