Ngiyazi ukuthi yinde le, kodwa bengilokhu ngiqoqa imicabango eminingi ngale ndaba kuleli sonto eledlule, futhi kubonakale kufanelekile ukukufaka embikweni wami 'wezinsuku ezingama-90', ngakho… nakhu kuhamba.
- Isiqalo
Izinsuku ze-90 ezedlule, ngangiyi-skeptic ngempela yeNoFap. Inkulumo ye-TED ibinemibono embalwa ethokozisayo kuyo engithinte, ikakhulukazi imibono ephathelene nokufuna ukuvuza okukhipha izimpendulo. Kwakuyinkolelo enengqondo eyanele ukuthi uma unqamula ukunikezwa koswidi wengqondo, uzoqeqesha ingqondo yakho kancane kancane ukuyithola kwenye indawo. Njengoba nganginamasonto ambalwa ngiyekile ukubhema nokuphuza, nganginomqondo ofanele wokubhekana nenselelo entsha ngenhloso yokubona okwenzekayo.
Isonto lokuqala lalilula kakhulu, ngangivele ngigcwalise isheduli yami ngezinto okufanele ngizenze ukugcina ingqondo yami ikusizi lwami, ngakho-ke angizange ngicabange nangokuphuma. Isonto 2 laqala ukungenza ngikhathazeke kakhulu futhi ngicindezeleke, futhi ngeviki 3 bengicabanga ukuthi ngizoya amantongomane. Ukuphela kwendlela yami yokubhekana nalokhu bekusebenzela ukukhathala okumsulwa noma ukuphuma nokuzihlalela nabangane noma ukuzama ukuhlangana nabantu abasha, noma ukumane ngiye kwenye indawo engingakaze ngibe kuyo ngaphambili.
Yilapho ngabona khona into enhle kakhulu ... ukukhathazeka kwami kwezenhlalo kwakungasekho ngempela. Noma kunalokho, ibisekhona, kodwa ilawulwa ngezinga lokuthi ibicishe inganakwa. Ngaqala ukuqaphela indlela abanye abantu abasabela ngayo kimi, nami ngasabela ekuphenduleni kwabo. Ngamafuphi, ngangizizwa sengathi ngiphethe izingxoxo eziningi engangikuzo, nakuba ngingakhulumi lutho.
Lokho engikushoyo yilokho, akudingeki ukuthi ube nomsindo omkhulu ne-alpha ukuze ulawule ukunakwa kwabantu. Kunezindlela eziningi ezicashile othinta ngazo ukuziphatha kwabantu kunalokho, into esemqoka engiyitholile kimi ukuthi ngibe nje ukwamukela. Uma wakha ukuzethemba okukhulu kwangaphakathi, abantu bavele baqoqe, bahloniphe, futhi ikakhulukazi bayathinteka. Abantu bazoshintsha indlela yabo nendlela abakukhuluma ngayo nokuthi bakhuluma ngani ngokuyinhloko ngokuthi bazi kanjani ukuthi uphendule kanjani nabo.
Lokhu kungaba ulwazi oluvamile kubantu abaningi, kepha lokhu bekungukuhlangenwe nakho okungikhanyisela kakhulu, njengoba kungivumele ukuthi ngenze ukuxhumana okunengqondo nabantu, ngoba kanye empilweni yami, ukuxhumana kwami nomphakathi bekungikhuthaza ngokwengqondo, angizange ' Ngizizwa sengathi ngishaywa ekhoneni njalo lapho ngisesimweni somphakathi. Ngaphezu kwakho konke lokho, uqala ukuzizwa kahle ukuthi abanye abantu bavikeleka kanjani futhi bakhathazekile uma ubona lokhu kuziphatha, futhi ukungazethembi kwakho kubonakala kungabalulekile kangako lapho uzwelo lwakho lwangaphakathi lungena.
- Relationships
Angikaze ngishade impilo yami yonke, futhi angishadile manje, futhi ngokuthembeka, mhlawumbe ngizohlala ngingashadile isikhathi esiningi esizayo, uma kungenjalo impilo yami yonke. Ngikwazile ukuhlangana nale ntombazane eyodwa ebengiyithanda ezinyangeni ezimbalwa ezedlule, obekuyinto enhle kakhulu kimi ngoba angikaze ngibekwe cishe eminyakeni eyi-4, (ngingu-26 manje) kepha njengokujwayelekile , kwakungekho lutho lwangempela ekukhangeni kwethu ukuze sihlale sindawonye.
Lokho kusho ukuthi, nginobudlelwano obunenjongo obuningi be-platonic nabesifazane manje kunangaphambili engake ngaba nabo empilweni yami, futhi ngingasho ngokuqiniseka okuphelele ukuthi ngizibeka kulesi sikhundla ngokuzikhethela. Ngokwethembeka, bengihlala ngohlobo ... engingazithandi izingqinamba zocansi. Angithandi ukuzibheka njengongqondongqondo, kepha kunokuthile okuyisidala kakhulu ngemicikilisho yokuhlangana yomphakathi wanamuhla engenakho nje okomzwelo noma okwengqondo. Lolu uhlobo lwesiqalekiso esine-lining yesiliva kulokho, vele, ayikho indlela esheshayo yokuthola izoni zabangane kunokukhuthaza imibuzo egxilile kwizizinda zabesifazane ezingokomzwelo nezefilosofi.
Kodwa-ke, njenge-'beta 'njengoba lokhu kubonakala, kungitholele ukwethenjwa nobungane babantu engizwa sengathi bayangithanda futhi buyangijabulisa, futhi imibuthano yami yezenhlalo izuze kakhulu ngakho. Ngaphezu kwalokho, okwenzeka kimi kunginike ukuqonda okujule kakhulu ngengqondo yabesifazane kanye nefasitela kokungazethembi okuningi umphakathi wanamuhla onika abesifazane, nokuthi ukuzithemba kwabo kunqunywa kakhulu izimfanelo ezikha phezulu. Lokho engikubonayo ngumphakathi okhuthaza abantu ukuthi benze ngezindlela ezithile, futhi uma leyo archetype ozilolongela yona ingafani nokuthi ungubani uqobo lwakho, khona-ke uwedwa uma kuziwa ekwenzeni umqondo lokho kungafani kwengqondo.
Ngicabanga ukuthi ngikwazi ukukuqonda lokhu emazingeni amaningi, ngoba kudala ngancishwa ilungelo lami ngalokho engangicabanga ukuthi kufanele ngibe yikho ukuze ngihambisane nomphakathi, ngoba iqiniso ukuthi… kahle, akekho umuntu onendaba ngempela. Akunjalo Empeleni. Okuwukuphela kwabantu abazoke banakekele abangani, futhi imibono eminingi yabangane isagciniwe ekugcineni yilokho abezindaba namasiko ababatshela ukuthi kufanele bakwazise. Lokhu kungukuhlukaniswa ngezinga elikhulu, ngakho-ke ngiyazazisa izikhathi lapho abantu bengaba khona real nomunye, uma kungaba ngisho nezikhathi ezimbalwa, futhi lokhu kuyisizathu esikhulu sokuthi kungani ngizisusile kumncintiswano wamagundane wosuku lwanamuhla lokuqomisana.
- Ukubhekana Nesifiso
Ngakho-ke ngemuva kokulandela lokho engikwazisa, futhi ngizizwa nginokuqiniseka ngokwengeziwe emandleni ami okusebenzisa ukuzithiba, ngangiba nezikhathi zokukhathazeka okukhulu futhi, futhi, ukukhungatheka kwezocansi. Ngokweqiniso okuwukuphela kwento engangizwa ukuthi ngikwazi ukuyenza, noma ukusebenzisa leyo nkathazo njengophethiloli ukwenza okuthile engizizwe ngikuzuzisa ngandlela thile, kungaba ukutadisha, ukuzivocavoca, noma ukuzithuthukisa, noma ngizovele ngithathe isikhashana ukubheka uhlobo lokukhathazeka futhi uzindle nje isikhathi eside ngangidinga imizwa inciphe.
Ngezindlela eziningi, bengicabanga ukuthi ngiyazidlalela, ukuthi ngiyibhomu lesikhathi sokuthikha, ukuthi impilo yami izoba ngcono kakhulu futhi igcwalise kakhulu uma ngiyeka ukucabanga kakhulu futhi ngenelise izifiso zami zokuqala, kungaba ezocansi kanye nokushaya indlwabu, noma ukuphuma nje bese sihlangana futhi siqome njengabantu abajwayelekile. Kepha ngezindlela eziningi, ngivule ibhokisi likaPandora, futhi engikubonayo umphakathi ogcwele ngokuphelele abantu abadabukisayo. Wonke umuntu engimaziyo unezinkinga zobudlelwano, wonke umuntu engimaziyo udlala isaga esithile sokujaha, futhi akekho noyedwa kubo ongachaza ngokweqiniso ukuthi yini abayifunayo nokuthi bazama ukufeza ini.
Ngiqonde ukuthi, njengomfana olandelayo, ngiyakwazi ukubona owesifazane omuhle uma ngimbona futhi ngicabanga ngaye futhi ngikhuluma 'ngokuzama ukuvuka kulokho', kodwa ... ngizizwa ngiyisilima ngisho ngikusho lokhu, kodwa leyo mindset yonke uzizwa uqhelelaniswe neqiniso, ngemuva kokuthola okuhlangenwe nakho okuningi kweqiniso lezimo kanye nezendlalelo eziningi eziyinkimbinkimbi nezicashile ezingena ekuqomeni nokuthi kunzima kanjani ukukhipha okunengqondo kokuhlangana okungenamqondo. Isikhathi eside kakhulu ngicabanga ukuthi nginokukhubazeka kwezothando, mhlawumbe nganginenkinga ethile yokushoda ngokocansi, noma enye inkunzi kaFreudian. Kepha uma ngikhuluma iqiniso, angikwazi ukususa lo muzwa esifubeni sami ukuthi ngumphakathi wonkana onenkinga yokomoya, amaligi abantu angakwazi ukuxhuma amachashazi phakathi kokuthenga, isifiso, nokugcwaliseka kwangaphakathi… kubonakala sengathi umphakathi wakhe i-ecosystem yokufakelwa, futhi konke esingakwenza njengabesilisa nabesifazane ukugcwalisa ama-niches ethu ngokusemandleni ethu.
Lokhu kungishiya ngidabukile ngenxa yezizathu eziningi, hhayi kangako ngoba angitholi ezinye izinto ngendlela engingathanda ngayo, kepha ukuthi umhlaba wonkana ubonakala ungakwazi ngokuphelele ukusondelana ngendlela efanele, ukuthi sekukonke , sizakhele amakheji ethu namazinga okuhlukana komunye nomunye. Angizizwa nginamahloni ngokuqaphela lezi zithiyo futhi ngenze konke okusemandleni ami ukuzidiliza, kepha kukhona umqondo omuhle wokuhlukaniswa ngale ndlela yokuphila futhi.
Ngifisa sengathi nginganikeza iseluleko esiduduzayo, kodwa into engingayisho lapha ukuthi… kuyazuzisa ukufunda ukuthanda ubuhlungu. Kusukela ngiqale le nto yeNoFap, sengiqalile ukuthatha ukugijima ngokungathi sína, ngiziqeqeshela imarathon, futhi kwesinye isikhathi ngiyaziphoqa ngezikhathi ezinzima zokungakhululeki. Kepha njengoba abanye abagijimi bezokuqinisekisa, kukhona umuzwa wokuziqhenya okujulile nokugculiseka okwenza ukuthi kuwufanele, umuzwa wenjabulo owenza izinhlungu ziphelelwe yisikhathi. Yisifaniso esihle kunazo zonke engingaqhamuka nazo ngezikhathi ezibonakala zingabekezeleleki zokuzithiba, kepha umuzwa uqinisile, futhi ungaphezu kwezifo zethu zomzimba ngezindlela eziningi.
- The Future
Angisoze ngabuyela emuva, ngaphandle kwalapho ngihlangabezana nokuhlukumezeka okukhulu noma uma umoya wami namandla kuncipha kakhulu. Kwesinye isikhathi ngibheka emuva lapho ngangikhona ezinyangeni ezintathu ezedlule, indlela engangicindezeleke ngayo, ukuthi ngangingenathemba futhi ngifiphele kanjani ngombono wami wezwe… kusacace bha emqondweni wami, futhi ngiyazi ngokuqinisekile ukuthi angikaze ngisondele kuleso simo ingqondo kusukela uqala le nto yeNoFap. Kukhona ividiyo engiyitholile ixhunyaniswe lapha kusuka ochungechungeni lwefilosofi ngenjabulo mayelana INietzche nobunzima ukuthi ngikholelwa ukuthi ihambisana nokuhlangenwe nakho kwami kahle, engingancoma ukuyibuka.
Ngamafuphi… kwesinye isikhathi kulula ukweqa kwi-bandwagon yeNoFap ngoba ukholwa ukuthi izolapha zonke izinkinga zakho zempilo noma ikwenze ube 'uzibuthe wenkukhu' noma yini enye, futhi akukho kungabaza engqondweni yami ukuthi kuyasiza emazingeni ahlukahlukene kuya ngokuthi ukuthi ungubani, kepha ngicabanga ngaphezu kwalokho, i-NoFap iyindlela yokwelapha ngendlela ecabanga ngokwengeziwe, isisiza ukuthola lokho esikufunayo ngempela nokuthi siwubona kanjani ngempela umhlaba ngoba sisusa lolo diki lwemijikelezo yokuphendula injabulo njalo yenza ezindleleni zethu ze-neural. Ngisho, i-psychology ngemuva kwalokhu isemoyeni, kepha ngichithe isikhathi esiningi ngicabanga ngale ndaba, futhi angicabangi lutho olubi engingalusho ngeNoFap ngaphandle kokuncishwa ngandlela thile, kepha lokho umbono obuka kancane, futhi akufanele kube ukukhathazeka kwangempela kunoma ngubani onentshisekelo yokuzithuthukisa. I-Porn ifana ngempela nembiza yekhukhi yesaga. Uyazi ukuthi yini ekulo, uyazi nokuthi linambitheka kanjani, futhi uyazi ukuthi lizokwenzani kuwe uma uzitika ngokweqile.
tl; dr Haha, yebo kunjalo.
XHUMANA NOKUTHUMELA - Izinsuku ze-90 ze-NoFap kanye nezinyathelo zokuzithiba
by Aculem
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