Bengicabanga ukuthi ngizokwabelana nami ngendaba yami ngalo mlutha nangendlela enginqobe ngayo ngonyaka owedlule. Ngabukela i-porn ejwayelekile kusukela eminyakeni eyi-11-15, kepha yathuthukela kwi-Transexual porn, kulokho okubuka emuva kwembula kufana lesi sihloko Kuchaza ngokukhuphuka. Kwaba ukuphela kwekhanda lami elivusa amadlingozi kimi futhi ngaphelelwa yiyo yonke imizwa yokuya ocansini kwabesifazane kangangoba nezitho zangasese bezizwa zingafani nezinye futhi kwesinye isikhathi ziyenyanyeka. Ngacabanga ukuthi ngaphenduka 'izitabane', kepha angikaze ngibuke i-gay porn futhi ngingeze ngakwazi ukukhipha ukubuka i-porn gay.
Ngakho-ke ngabona ukuthi kumele ngabe ngingu- "Trans-Orientated." Ngiqhubeke nokubuka izithombe zocansi ezi-transsexual futhi ngathandana nabantu besifazane abaningi eminyakeni embalwa ezayo futhi nginamahloni okusho ukuthi empeleni ngangibasebenzisela ukuzanelisa ngokobulili akukho 'uthando' noma cha 'imizwa' lapho, empeleni bekuyindlela yokuphuma kimi bekuhlala kuzwakala kunokudideka, kepha bengizizwa ngathi lena ukuphela kwendlela engathola i-buzz yami.
Ngemuva kokwenza ucansi nabo okungenza abalandeli be-porn abanzima, ngibe nokuhlehla kancane ngibheke ku-inthanethi ukubona ukuthi akukho engingakuthola ngalokhu. Ngithole amawebhusayithi ahlukahlukene okulutha kwezocansi futhi kamuva iwebhusayithi yakho 'Ukuhlangana kabusha' kanye 'Nobuchopho bakho kwi-porn' ngemuva kokufunda izindatshana konke kunengqondo futhi ngaba nesikhathi se-lightbulb.
Eminyakeni embalwa eyalandela ngalwa nobunzima bokunqoba lokho engangikubonile manje ukuthi umlutha wezithombe zobulili ezingcolile, ngagcina sengikwazile ukuya amasonto e-11 maphakathi ne-2012. Izinguquko ezenzeka hhayi emcabangweni wami wezocansi kuphela kepha futhi nasempilweni yami yezenhlalo zaziyizinkanyezi. Akugcinanga lapho ukuthi ngaphelelwa ukukhanga kwabesifazane abangama-transsexual, kodwa futhi ngathuthukisa ukuheha abesifazane abanamandla ngaphezu kwanoma yini engiyikhumbulayo. Abesifazane basondela KIMI ngoshintsho, bekungamangalisa ngokuphelele futhi sengiyithande yonke iminithi ngakho.
Kusukela lapho ngibe nobudlelwano obuhle obukhulu futhi angikaze ngizizwe ngcono ngempilo yami, konke sekuyindawo manje, angisadingi i-porn futhi angingaphezu komlutha wami we-porn we-transsexual. Ngijabule kakhulu manje. Okuningi kokufiphalisayo nokho, kube sengathi bekuyiphupho ngendlela.
Futhi, kubo bonke labo bafana be-HOCD laphaya, nansi isilinganiso esizoveza isimo sakho ngomzuzwana: "Uma ucabanga ukuthi ucindezelekile, ucindezelekile." Futhi lokho kuvela kumeluleki we-Gay osiza abafana abane-HOCD, ngakho-ke zama ukuyeka ukukhathazeka!
ISIQONDISO SEZOBUCHWEPHESHE SASEKHULULWA
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