I-Elude i-Coolidge Impembelelo ngendlela ekhohliweyo yokulala ngesondo
Izithuba zamva nje zixubusha (1) kutheni abathandi banokufuna ukwazi ngakumbi malunga nokwenzekayo kubo ubunzima bomlenze, (2) njani khuthaza kakhulu Ukujikeleza kwengqondo komvuzo wokuqala kungakhokelela kutshintsho lweemvakalelo olufihlakeleyo kunye imfuneko yokuvuselela ngakumbi, kunye (kunye ne-3) indlela ukuguqulwa kwe-dopamine kuqhuba ngayo Impembelelo yeCoolidge (utyekelo lokuphulukana nomdla kwiqabane emva kokuhlutha ngokwesondo.) Ndikhankanyile ukuba ikhona indlela yokwenza uthando enceda ukunciphisa i-dopamine ngokugqithisileyo kwaye khuthaza ukuvisisana.
Ndenzeke kule ngcamango eminyaka edlulileyo encwadini ngoDaoist uthando. Emva kokuguqula iimbono ezisekelwe kumava athile ekugqibeleni ndafunda incwadi nge-karezza-kwaye ndaqonda ukuba ichaza oko mna nomyeni wam senza. U-Karezza unomzimba omnene, onothando oluninzi kunye nokuphumla, kodwa ngaphandle kwenjongo ye-orgasm. (Ewe, kusenokwenzeka nakwiimeko ezinqabileyo.)
Olu hlobo lusetyenziswe ukuqinisa nokudibanisa ubudlelwane beeminyaka ezigidi, ezihamba ngamagama amaninzi kwixesha elide. Ezi zibandakanya: ukulima kabini kukaDaoist, le jazer (cortezia), amplexus reservatus, i-tantra (ngohlobo lwayo olukhululekile), isondo se-transorgasmic, njalonjalo. Ukujongana neenzuzo, zombini amaqabane agxininisa imihla ngemihla ziphatha (ezifana noqhagamshelwano lolusu lolusu, ukunxwaba, ukuhlambalaza, kunye nokulala ngesinye isikhathi) kunye nokuxhamla i-orgasm kwiiveki ezintathu. (Ingcaciso kwi Umcibisholo onetyhefu ka-Cupid: Ukusuka kwiNdawo yokuHlala ukuya kwiHarmony kubudlelwane bezesondo.)
Ekuqaleni, ukuba neentlobano zesini ngaphandle kolwalamano kubonakala ngathi ... ”WTF ?!”Kodwa oku kusenokubangelwa, ngokuyinxenye, kwinto yokuba thina eNtshona siye sazicwangcisa ngokucokisekileyo izinto esizikhethayo, saze sabeka uphawu lokwabelana ngesondo ngaphandle kwe-orgasm njenge“ paraphilia ”. Ngokuqinisekileyo, i-karezza idala abantu abalala ngokulala. UPopu Pius XII naye wa gweba. Ngexesha lakhe, amaKatolika aseFransi naseBelgium ayedumisa amplexus reservatus (karezza) njengeendlela ezisemthethweni zokuphepha ukukhulelwa, kunye neendlela zokufezekisa olugqibeleleyo, ngakumbi uhlobo lokomoya lothando oludibeneyo. UPopu wathi ayisiyiyo "isenzo sokwenene somtshato," okanye, xa wenza kukhokelela kwi-orgasm engaqondakaliyo, yayiyingozi ngenxa yokuba kunokwenzeka kwayo kwi-hedonism. Ngamanye amaxesha awunakuphumelela.
Ngaphezulu kwenkulungwane edlulileyo okanye njalo, oogqirha abathathu babhale iincwadi eziqinisekisa izibonelelo zika karezza. (Stockham, MD, ULloyd, MD kwaye Jensen, MDNanga amagqabantshintshi ngamanye amadoda anamhlanje (akukho namnye kubo angowam):
Ingcamango yokususa i-foreplay / i-orgasm njl. Ingqondo yakho iyalwa nayo. “Iya kukruqula. Siza kwenza ntoni ebhedini? ” Nje ukuba uzame kodwa, ubuncinci kum, akukho kubuya mva. Ukungafezekisi ukusebenzisa i-karezza kuyamangalisa ngokwenene. Ewe, ukwanelisa akunakuze kufikelelwe ngesondo eliqhelekileyo nokuba, kodwa ukusilela kokuhlutha kuhlala kubonakala kukhokelela kwimvakalelo yenkanuko yokufuna okungakumbi…. Oku kwahlukile. Yeyasezulwini, ngenxa yokuswela igama elingcono. Ndonelisekile, kodwa andoneliseki. Andiyiva ingxamiseko endihlala ndiziva xa ndingonelisekanga. Ndiziva ndigqibelele ngandlela thile, ndinoxolo, kwaye eyona nto ilunge kakhulu, ndisemathandweni…. Umfazi wam kwaye sisondelelene ngokwenene.
Umfazi wam kunye nam besenza / besenza into enokubizwa ngokuba yi-karezza iminyaka eliqela. Njengokuba ixesha lihambile, safumana indawo esebenza kuthi, isikere isikhundla, kwaye savelisa indlela eshiya ngaphandle umdlalo wangaphambili kwaye wenze wonke umcimbi ungabi "shushu". Sisebenzisa ijojoba yeoyile ukuthambisa kunye nokudibanisa ngaphambi kokulala kunye nentsasa nganye. Sikwenze oku iminyaka eyi-6-7, kwaye kulungile. Zonke izibini zinethemba lokufumana eyazo indlela yokwenza uthando rhoqo ngaphandle koxinzelelo, uxinzelelo, okanye ukuphelelwa. UKarezza uyasisebenzela. Sihlala siphezulu kwaye sinombulelo phantse ngalo lonke ixesha. Ukungakhathali akunakuhlala ixesha elide kuba amandla ethu aqinisekileyo aveliswa kwaye axhaswa yonke imihla.
Ekuqaleni umfazi wam wandicaphukisa ndamsusa ulonwabo. Ngoko salalanisa. Sigqibe kwelokuba sibe ne-orgasms ekuqaleni kwenyanga nganye nakwezinye izihlandlo ezikhethekileyo. Ngoku sikwinyanga yethu yesithathu yothando olungena squirt, "kuba asifuni konakalisa into elungileyo." Sihlala sihlala sitshatile kangangeyure kabini ngeveki. Siphawula imihla ngemihla ngendlela esimnandi ngayo. Ndinamathuba okuba neentlobano zesini ngaphandle komtshato wethu kule minyaka ilishumi elinesibhozo idlulileyo kwaye andazi ukuba ndihlale ndithembekile njani. Ngoku isimo sam sesokuba akukho nto inokuze ihambelane nento eyenzekayo ngaphakathi emtshatweni wethu.
Okuthakazelisayo, Uphando lweCanada Kutshanje kuqinisekisiwe ukuba "isini esikhulu" siqhelekile hayi kugxilwe kwi-orgasm. Umphengululi oyintloko ukwaphawule ukuba, "Kukho ubungqina obuninzi bokuba abantu abaninzi bakholelwa ukuba imfihlelo yokufezekiswa ngokwesondo bubuchwephesha, ukuba malunga neendlela ezingcono zokuvuselela ngesandla nangomlomo." Nangona kunjalo, uphononongo lubonakalise ukuba "ungaba neentlobano zesini ezoyikisayo kunye ne-orgasms kwaye ngaphandle kwe-orgasms, kodwa unganakho ukuba neentlobano zesini ezilungileyo ngaphandle kwe-orgasm."
Ingenzeka njani le nto? Ndikrokrela ukuba i-karezza ivelisa izibonelelo kuba ibeka ecaleni ukuwa kwe-neurochemical fallout. I-Orgasm, ngakumbi ukwaneliseka ngokwesondo, yinto (emnandi) yokuqhushumba kwe-neurochemical, ethi ithumele amaqhina ixesha elide kangangeeveki ezimbini ngelixa umzimba ubuyela kulungelelwaniso. (Ngakumbi kwi “Umjikelezo wePassion. ")
Mhlawumbi abo bahlaselwa yi- Impembelelo yeCoolidge Uya kufumana i-karezza iluncedo ngakumbi. Xa izithandani zithandana ngobunono kwaye kunqabile ukuba "zigqibe," kunqabile ukuba bazive "behluthi" kunye neqabane. Bayazikhusela ngokunokwenzeka ukutyekela ukunyanga zonke ukuwa kwe-post-orgasmic (ukuphazamiseka, ukukhungatheka, ukunyameka) kunye ne-orgasm engaphezulu.
Abacebisi ngemitshato ngamanye amaxesha bacebisa ukuba izibini ezifuna ukuxolelana ziqale ngokuzikhwebula kwisini esiqhelekileyo, kodwa bazibandakanye ngothando oluchukumisayo okanye nangokwabelana ngesondo. (Zombini ezi zinto zinyusa ngobunono i-dopamine kunye ne-oxytocin ngaphandle kokubangela umjikelo opheleleyo wothando.) Mhlawumbi iindlela zokudibanisa zolu hlobo zibuyisela iimvakalelo ezilungileyo kuba iinkqubo zethu "zokuxubana" kunye ne "bonding" zisebenza iincwadana ezicacileyo. Xa siveza le miqondiso ingqubanayo (yokuncamathela/umtsalane kunye nokuhlutha/ukuthiya) kwiqabane singaziva ngathi siyawa, siphuma, sothando ngendlela edidayo. Ngokwenyani, sinikezela ngemiqondiso edibeneyo kwinqanaba elingaphantsi kwengqondo.
Kwithuba elizayo, ndiza kuchaza ukuba loluphi uphando esele lusibonisile malunga neekhemikhali ze-neurochemicals ezichaphazelekayo kumjikelo wothando, nangaphezulu malunga nokuba le nto inokudala njani uqikelelo olungamkelekanga.
Ukufumana izilonda kwakhona kunokufumana le ntambo yomdla.
Ukukhula kobungqina benzululwazi yomjikelezo we post-orgasm (uphando)
Uphononongo malunga nokulala phakathi kwezesondo kunye neziyobisi kwiingqondo
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