NGAPHAMBI: Ndihlupheke kakhulu ebomini bam, ngenxa yamashumi eminyaka engama-3 olwalamano olungasebenzi, umtshato ogxininisekile / ofile kunye neyona nto (kubangelwa imbangela yam) ED, umlutha wobugqwetha kunye nokuxhatshazwa ngokwesondo. Ukudibanisa kunye nakho konke ukuxhalabisa kwaye ngokusoloko ukwesaba kunye nobuninzi bomsindo kunye nokusola. Umendo wam ugcwele iincwadi zokunceda, ii-therapists ezahlukeneyo kunye ne-SA nje yakutshanje ukuba ndifumene luncedo ngokwenene.
MANJE: 90% okanye nangaphezulu KONKE oku kuphakanyisiwe kwaye ndayeka i-paxil kwiminyaka emi-3 eyadlulayo. Ndiza kwalatha kwizithuba zam ezi-3 ezinomoya omde ngentla kumfanekiso opheleleyo. Ndiziva ndicocekile kwaye ndimangalisa njengayo nayiphi na into kwiminyaka ye-52 kwaye i-PIED yam yi-90% ngcono, umtshato wam ungcono, kwaye ukugxila emsebenzini kungcono kwaye ndiziva ndixhumene nobomi.
KUNYE NGOKUKHULUZA
Ndafunda ukuyeka izinto. Konke malunga nokuyeka kwaye ubekhona- Ubukho nje. Kwaye uqonde ukuba ugcwele. Sele igcwele. Zonke ezinye izinto (imali, iwonga, indumiso, isini, ukutya, abafazi) ziibhonasi esingenakukwazi ukuzilawula kwaye ezingasokuze zisizalise. Ndiyathetha yonke into-ewe nkqu nabafazi kunye nesondo. Ingakumbi abasetyhini kunye nesondo. Kodwa akukho mntu usixelele ukuba amadoda ayakhula? Kwaye silapha kwezi foram.
Kubonakala ilula akunjalo… nje “ukuba” kwaye mhlawumbi ku… kodwa ukulunga asibobuyatha. Ukulula kuyahlaziya kwaye kusondele enyanisweni Isimo sam esitsha sifana nesigqubuthelo se-oxegen esibuhlungu kunye nesiphithiphithi kunye noloyiko lokubandezeleka ngaphambili. Ubomi bumayelana nokuyeka inyani… kwaye okukhona usenza, kokukhona ukhoyo, kokukhona iintsikelelo ziya kufakwa kwisitya sakho. Emva koko unika kwaye uthande ngcono kwaye umjikelo uphinda kunye nokunye kwakhona.
Ngaba uke wazama ukuba nje? Andithethi ukuba ukucandwa komhlaba okanye ukuphumla-ezo zilungile ngamanye amaxesha. Ndiyathetha ukuba uyazi iingcinga zakho, iimvakalelo, iimvakalelo, iimbali, iipateni, iimfesane, iminqweno yokulutha, izinto ezibangela umsindo… kwaye uhleli nabo… kwaye ungasabeli… ukuba "nobuntu" bakho obuguqulayo kwaye ubabukele buphela. Kwaye ndiziva ndomelele ngakumbi kodwa ndibanzi. Yeyona nto ibalaseleyo… kodwa hayi ngendlela ethe chatha yokuba mna nawe siqhele ukuyenza. Yile nto ndiyithethayo ngokuyeka.
Uyeke ukwamkelwa, kunokuba uhlale ubambekile ngokwala. Makhe uye ukhethe kunokuba uhlale ulikhoboka ngaphandle kokukhetha. Vumela ulwazi oluthambileyo kunokuba uhlale ubambene naloo nto. Okanye ngokubamba kunye nokwenza iziyobisi zakho eziqinisa kuphela. UKUBA NENGQONDO Kundincedile kakhulu njengoko ngokwendalo kuzisa ulwazi ngezinto… ukuze… sikwazi ukujongana nazo… kwaye… siyeke !! ayisiyiyo yonke le nto?
Kuyinto echaseneyo yento esiyenzayo kwaye ifundiswa.
WAMELWE I-DILEMMA EPHAKATHI
Umlutha okanye ongekho umlutha, thina bantu, kwaye ngokukodwa amadoda aqalekisiwe xa singazi malunga nesiseko sethu, ingxaki yendalo. Kufuneka silwamkele olu tshintsho lusisiseko- kwaye emva koko uhambe apho. Ungayilwi.
le ngxaki yile: Ukuba sikhetha uloyiko (“kuthekani ukuba”… kunye neentlekele ezingenakubalwa ezisoyikisayo) okanye ezentelekelelo (oku “kufanele / kungaba“… kunye nezilingo zayo ezingabaleki ezisitsala) emva koko siyasokola. Ngaba uyayibona loo nto? Bobabini uBuddha, uYesu nabanye ababenobulumko kunam babonisa loo nto. Kufuneka sikhethe indlela yesi-3. (ewe kukho enye- kubonakala ngathi zezinye izithuba)
Okumangalisayo kukuba, uloyiko kunye nemibono yenza izithembiso zokukhusela thina engozini okanye ukusinika into eza kuthi isigqibe okanye isikhulule. Ziinzame zengqondo zokwenza izinto ezilungileyo kuthi… ke injongo ikhona… kodwa zilahlekile. Akukho ndlela isebenza. Baye baqulunqwa yinkwenkwana, kwihlabathi elixakekileyo elinesondo elixhokonxayo kwaye benziwa bodwa. Iingcinga, iimpendulo, iminqweno, ulangazelelo, umona, iinkanuko, uloyiko, ukuqonda, iihormoni zonke zinxibelelana kwaye zakhula zaba bubukhosi obuncinci ngaphakathi kuthi.
Awuzange wenze siphoso ngokwenza indlela owenze ngayo- ungazi nje ngathi sonke. Ngoko sukuzibetha. Leyo yinto nje engakumbi efanayo.
Kodwa ngoku, ekubeni ubandezeleka (kule ndawo) njengoko sisazi-nangona iintlungu, isizungu, unxunguphalo, uxinzelelo, umlutha okanye zonke ezi zinto zingasentla (njengam!) -Lithuba lokuvuka. Vuka kwinkululeko engaphakathi kuwe.
SIFUNDA INDLELA YOKUPHILA OKUFANELEKILEYO
Kukho amanqanaba athile enkululeko afika kwaye ahambe ebomini kodwa kukho kuphela inkululeko, inkululeko-kubungqina-ngoku kungakhathaliseki ukuba kwenzekani kwaye ubukho bungenanto nantoni na okanye ukwesaba.
Ukubandezeleka kwethu kuvela kwiinkolelo zethu esincamathele kuzo singaqondanga ngenxa yezizathu ezahlukeneyo. Kwakhona ayilotyala lethu ukuba le yenzekile-kodwa luxanduva lwethu ukuyilawula le nto kangangoko sinako ingakumbi xa sisazi. Akufuneki sizive sinetyala ngezi zizathu sifuna nje ukwamkela ukuba kulapho sikhona kwaye sibuze ukuba yinyani na, kwaye siqonde ukuba bakhule bethe cwaka ekungazini kwethu inyani kwaye sabamkela ngokulula.
IZINTO ZETHU NEZINTO AZIWO "US" - ZIQONDO
Kodwa siyazikhohlisa ngalo lonke ixesha ukuba bangathi. Sifikelwa luloyiko kunye neminqweno. Siyaxakaniseka ngokungathi sihamba kumgxobhozo onodaka; yiyo loo nto kubonakala kunzima. Ezi nkolelo zivakalelwa ngathi "thina" ke ukuzinikezela kuya kufana nokunikela ngesiqhekeza sethu kude ... emva koko sibe kwiintlungu ezingakumbi, akunjalo? Okanye siyakholelwa.
Ingqondo izakusixelela ukuba “unje kwaye kufuneka utshintshe… kodwa awukwazi”… okanye “awufani kodwa ihlabathi linje kwaye awunakulitshintsha ihlabathi” okanye “Ndifuna ukubukela iphonografi / Yonwaba, uphelele, ukhuseleke… mna! kwaye andiyifumani ”okanye“ Andilunganga ngokwaneleyo kwaye ndiziva ndingento yanto.”Ezi ngxelo zizixhobo zokungcungcuthekisa kunye nokubandezeleka esisenza kuthi nakwamanye amaxesha onke.
Nganye kwezi ikhokelela kwilogo engapheliyo yokubandezeleka kunye nokutyeba okubonakala kuyinyani kwaye kwenziwe buqu. Ihlala iphela kukungabi namandla. Okubi kakhulu kukuba iingqondo zethu zinokufumana ubungqina obuninzi bokuxhasa imeko yeenkolelo zethu! Kwaye uthethelele umsindo wethu kunye noxinzelelo! Kunene? Kodwa ukuba konke oko bekukho, (iinkolelo zethu ezichanekileyo kunye nemibono yethu) iya kuba sisiphelo salo msonto.
Kodwa kuninzi… Nokuba uyasikhusela isikhundla sakho, uze neengxoxo zomoya ezixineneyo ngalo lonke ixesha… ngaphandle kokuba iyinyani, okanye yalatha kwinyani nothando… uyazi ngokungazenzisiyo ukuba ezantsi into ayenzi sikwere nangona uphumelele yonke impikiswano. . Olu xinzelelo lokulutha / ukutyeba sisipho esihamba nawe kumbuzo ngenkolelo kuba akukho xinzelelo okanye uxinzelelo nenyaniso.
UKWAMKELA NGOKOMOYA, AKUYONA I-EGO "ENIKELA NGAYO"
Ukwamkelwa kukhetho ngabom- kwaye iba yindlela yokuphila emnandi xa usenziwa suku ngalunye-iyure nganye. Owona mzekelo mhle endinayo ebomini bam ondikhuthazile kwaye watyhala imida yokuba ngumntu… ngabo bamkele ukubandezeleka kwaye abasindanga kodwa basinda.
Cinga ngayo… ngaba abantu abazamkeli ngokupheleleyo iimeko ezimnandi? Qhubeka wamkele eyakho. Yonke imiba. Xa sibakhona nezinto ezibuhlungu, azinyamalali (nangona zinako!) Kodwa akufuneki. Isisombululo kungcoliseko kukuxutywa. Bathotyelwa ezantsi kwaye bade banciphise ubunyani bobukho obubenza bangafuneki; ngokungeyomfuneko kwizithembiso zabo zobuxoki zokusinika ukhuseleko okanye inkululeko okanye ukugqitywa. Ukuchasana nokulutha akulwisani nayo, okanye ukuyiphika. Kungenxa yokuba isincamathiselo sakho ekugqibeleni asiyomfuneko.
INGABE UKUFUNA KUPHELA KUNYE UKUKHALWA KWOKUHLOLA? OKANYE UKUXHUMANA NETHU
Xa uYesu wayekwintlango kwaye ehendwa, wathi "suka uye emva kwam" ethetha ukuba akasususanga isilingo ngokupheleleyo kodwa wasibona wasifumana phambi kwenkohliso- inkohliso ethembisa ukumgqibezela. Yayinentsingiselo encinci ukuze angaphinde abanjwe kodwa khumbula ukuba oku kuza emva komzabalazo omkhulu. Iintsuku ezingama-40? Kwaye lo Yesu sithetha ngaye, ke kuthi okwethutyana ndiqinisekile.
U-Yesu wayephila kunye nayo ngokuqaphela inkohliso kwaye wayithoba nje ibe kukucaphuka okanye nje "into" okanye isithunzi esisilandelayo esingakhokeleli ndawo kuyo. Kodwa ayitshabalali. Ngapha koko ukukhohlisa kwayo kungathi cwaka okomzuzwana kodwa kuya kubuya, kwaye oku kuyadala ukuba kubekho ukusasazeka okuyimfuneko, ifoyile efunekayo ebantwini bethu kwaye babe ngamalungu okusila ngokuchasene nayo ivelise izinto ezintle ukuba kuphela kwaye siyazi kwaye siyakwamkela oku kusila. Singabantu abancinci "oothixo bokuguba" abasila izinto- sonke i-7 yezigidigidi kuthi. Yamkele kwaye uvuke. Sinokuyisebenzisa.
Izinto ezisoyikisayo okanye ezinqwenelekayo… zibeke kwindawo yazo. Emva kwethu. Bayeke bathotyiwe nangona ubukho bethu kwaye besazi ukuba ungahlala ngoxolo kunye nolu loyiko okanye uncamathiselo ukuba usebenza ngokwasemoyeni kuwe-uyinyani. Yiba ngumoya okhokelwayo. Utshintsho lweentlungu ukusuka ekubeni yingxaki sisixhobo; sisixhobo senyaniso osifunelwa ukuba senze lo msebenzi-oku kuyenzeka.
Intlungu ngoku isebenza njengomsebenzi-isitofu okufuneka uhambe ngenye indlela, kwaye xa usenza ... ukugquma kukuyeka. Kuze kubekho ingqondo yakho ngokuzifaka yona kwaye iqala ukuhlalutya nokuxhathisa ... kodwa loo nto ingxolo engakumbi engqondweni ... into engafaniyo eya kuletha kule ndawo. Ingqondo (yonke i-wiring, neempendulo, iimbali, imibutho, iinkolelo njl.) Ayikho okanye inyaniso. Ukuqwashisa kukuthile kuwe kodwa KUNYE ukuhlukezeka kwengqondo yakho enomsindo.
NGABANI OTHATHA IMIYALELO KUYO? I-EGO OKANYE UBUKHO?
Inkululeko ke ngoko ayisekho engqondweni kodwa ingqondo kufuneka ithathe iindlela zayo kwinkululeko-kwiindawo zethu ezinzulu- ukusuka kuloo ndawo iphakamileyo esecaleni kwethu. Hayi ngokuchanekileyo. Thina bantu kwaye ngokuqinisekileyo iziyobisi sinazo ngasemva… zichonga kwaye zibambeka engqondweni. Xa oku kusenzeka "asiqhubeki kwaye sidale" ... endaweni yoko "siqhutywa ... kwaye sizonakalise".
Iinkolelo zethu malunga neziqu zethu, iimfuno zethu, uloyiko lwethu, iimbali zethu, izazisi zethu kunye nehlabathi lethu zibonakala ziyinyani, zibuhlungu kakhulu kwaye zisoyikisa ngokubhekisele kubuchule bethu bokuzilawula. Okubi ngakumbi, nangona kuyinyani oko, siyathula kwaye siyaziqhelanisa nale ntlungu, le minqweno, ngendlela yokulutha, ihlala singayazi loo nto. Sisabela ke kubo, senze kubo nakwabanye basabele kuthi, kwaye konke oku kuyabomeleza, kusenza uloyiko kunye neentsomi, okanye iziyobisi kunye neenkumbulo, ubuntwana bethu kunye neminqweno yethu yokuba iintsomi zethu zibonakala ngathi ziyinyani. Iingqondo zethu zifumana lula ubungqina bezinto. Akumangalisi ukuba sizive singenamandla… kuyadinisa!
Siyakholelwa ukuba inkululeko iza ekuqondeni ngakumbi, kuhlalutyo olongezelelekileyo, kubulungisa ngakumbi, kulawulo olongezelelekileyo, kulungiswa okungalunganga, ngakumbi oku nokunye okungakumbi. "Ukuba nje" ukucinga kuyondla oku. Hayi ayisebenzi.
"UKUBA KUPHELA" UKUNIKULWA KUNYE UKUBHALA
Kungenxa yokuba iinkcukacha zakho zamaphupha kunye nomnqweno zizezakho kuwe… ukuqheleka akuyenzi into "eyinyani". Kodwa inokuziva ngathi iyenza. Ukubandezeleka kwethu okunzulu kuvela ekuphenduleni kwinto esinayo kwaye esingayifuniyo, kwaye siyayifuna kodwa ayenzi-ngokwesondo okwenyani okanye ocingelwayo. Siyakholelwa ngaphandle kokuba iimeko zethu ziyafezekiswa akunakubakho xolo. Njengokuba iinyanga zijika zibe yiminyaka sihamba ebomini, silele, siqhathwa ziinkolelo zethu kwaye sisokolisa ubomi bethu, Ubunzima obukrakra obudibanisa amava ethu onke. Inkululeko yindawo engacacanga, ecinga ukuba ikude lee ezingqondweni zethu ethi ibe nemeko "ukuba nje____". Ubuxoki obunjani.
Inyani yile yokuba inkululeko ilele ngaphandle kwayo yonke loo nto, kwaye ukuba "ukuba kunjalo" yinkohliso, intelekelelo yona ngokwayo esisusayo kuxolo olujikeleze thina. Inkululeko inyani apha, ngoku! Into esiyizukisayo okanye esoyikayo inamandla okusisusa kwinkululeko, phantse ngokungathi siyayithengisa. Kodwa inkanuko yakho kunye noloyiko lokususa / lokutshabalalisa inkululeko yobukho ngaphakathi kwakho-bayayifihla kuphela. Uyayifihla.
UKUVIKELEKA NOKUVUMA KUPHENDULA
Indlela yakho yangoku… umkhwa… okanye inkolelo ayibonisi mayile isezantsi kuloo ndlela iqhelekileyo… kodwa usabambelele kuyo njengoko ungazi nenye indlela. Ukoyika ukungaqiniseki kunye notshintsho kukugcina unxunguphele ngenxa yosizi lwakho. Ke iintlungu ezingaphezulu emva koko zizisiwe ukukunceda uqonde ukuba kulungile ukuyeka kwaye uqhubeke. Lo ngumxholo wale ntambo… ukuba akulunganga kwaphela ukuyeka izinto… kodwa leyo KUPHELA kwendlela yenkululeko, kwaye inqaku lobomi.
Ngaba ngokwenene ukholelwa ukuba uThixo, inkululeko, umoya, ngokupheleleyo kunye nenyaniso ... ngokwenene ufuna ukuba uphume kwaye ufumane / ufumane nantoni na? Ukuyeka ukuhamba kukuphela kwexabiso lokungeniswa ekuphulukisweni.
MSEBENZEKE KUYO
Ndikhetha ukuthi "mayiyeke loo nto" uhlonipha inyani yokuba uzame ezinye iindlela, iindlela zokulutha, ke zibeke ngobumnene. Kusemzimbeni nako! Iibhiliyoni zee-neurons ziye zaqokelela kwaye ziya kuvelisa iimpendulo zomzimba. Kodwa xa siyekelela… ungalibali ukuba nathi asiyisebenzisi. Kodwa oku kuya kuthatha ixesha.
Xa sikhulula asisayi kufa kwaye sinciphise izithembiso ze-ego. Ezo ziindaba ezimnandi ezingqondweni zethu -ukuzingca akufuni ukuba sazi. Nangona kunjalo iyakuziva ngathi iyafa kwaye lo ngumqondiso olungileyo kuba kukusweleka kwe-ego, ukusweleka kokuncamathiselwa okanye inkohliso. Mayife loo nxalenye. Eyona nto yenzekayo uyayeka uhambe, ukhathazeke xa kukho imfuneko kwaye uqhubeke kwaye unyuke kwaye uchume.
Ufumana indawo ngaphakathi… kwaye uyazi ukuba ayifanga, indawo engenanto… kodwa ngokufudumeleyo nangobulali uphila ubukho… eyona nto ibalulekileyo yobomi kunye nesiqu sakho sokwenyani. NguThixo. Oku AKUKHO mava aphezulu okanye anzima ke sukujonga obu bunzulu bokucima ubushushu bomsindo wakho okanye umnqweno wakho. Ayisebenzi ngaloo ndlela.
UKUBA UHLOLA
AKUKHO ukuncipha kunye nokufa xa usiyeka sihlala sikhona imeko. Ayinamsebenzi nokuba kukunqwenela, ukucinga, ukukholelwa, intelekelelo, ubukrelekrele… oko kubonakala kungokobuqu kuwe. Ngapha koko… konke kungcono. Imivuzo engaphezulu. Eyona njongo yobomi bethu kukufumanisa le nkululeko kwaye umntu ngamnye kuthi uhamba ngendlela ejijekileyo, engenasikolo okanye nangaphantsi eya kusilungiselela yiyo loo nto yoyikeka kangaka. Ingqondo, kunye nezilumkiso zayo ezinengxolo kunye nokuncamathiselwa kuya kwenza ukuba ukholelwe ngenye indlela kwaye uya kuzama ukukugcina ukhuselekile kwindlela yakho ebuhlungu ehamba kwiiluphu, kuba yiyo yonke into eyaziyo. Ke kuya kufuneka uphinde ucinge ngentlungu. Intlungu yethu ayonto imbi ukuba asongezi ntlungu kuyo ... inyani ihlala ilungile kuneengcinga zethu ngayo, enokuba sisiphithiphithi. Intlungu yomntu ifana nomlilo osilumayo, kwaye awunakuphepheka. kodwa ukubandezeleka esikwenzayo kufana nomsi osirhuqayo njengoko usimfamekisa kwaye unokuphetshwa. Singoomatshini bokutshaya.
UKUBHALWA KWEENKQUBO
Kukho indlela yokusebenzisa le ndawo imnyama, ukubopha lo msindo, olu loyiko, oku kungabi namandla okuvuka ube yinto enkulu ngakumbi. Ayilwi nayo okanye izenze ngathi ayikho. Iingqondo zethu, iingcinga zethu, iinkolelo zethu, ukufezekisa iimfuno zethu… Akukho nanye kwezi ekhokelela kwinkululeko njengenkululeko njengoko ZONKE zinemiqathango kwaye zixhomekeke kwinto ethile.
Ukubuyela umva kuyinyani- Kuya kufuneka sishiye iintsomi zethu, kunye nothango, uloyiko lwethu, iziyobisi kunye namabali kunye namabali kwaye sivulele ebomini ngaphandle kwazo, kwaye inkululeko iya kungena kuwe. Unokuba semngciphekweni, uvuleke kakhulu, kwaye utyibilike ngathi uhamba ngephenyane malunga nokuwela kwindawo ongaziwayo… mayibe njalo. Khetha kwaye uncume nangona. Yinkqubela phambili, ayisiyiyo i-muck yesiqhelo.
Inye into esichasa ngayo yinto enye ekufuneka siyenzile… ukubeka phantsi iingalo zethu… kwaye samkele. Yintoni enokwenzeka ukuba siyenzile? Kuza kwenzeka ntoni xa usamkela iintlungu kwaye ungene kwindawo ongayaziyo ngelixa ubukho? Ingqondo yakho iyakukhwaza ithi "ukuba kukho le ntlungu ingako ngoku… yima nje ... ngaphandle kokuzikhusela, kunye nokukhazimla kwakho kunye noqikelelo olungapheliyo… luza kuba mandundu!" Kodwa ngaba oku kuyinyaniso? Ngokuqinisekileyo kuxa ingqondo iphethe kodwa xa sikhokelwa ngumoya? Nguwe kuphela onokufumanisa. Ubuncinci qalisa ukufuna ukwazi ngayo. Eli linyathelo elifanelekileyo lokuqala.
HLELA UKUPHILA KWABANTU
Awusoze ulahle umnqweno kodwa kulungile kuba ayiyongxaki leyo. Ukuphelelwa lithemba kunjalo. Kwaye oko kuvela kukuxhomekeka-KUKHO umlutha wakho wokwenyani. Imifanekiso engamanyala, isini, ukuphulula amaphambili konke kuhamba ngokuswela ukuxhomekeka.
Okokuqala kwafuneka "ndinqumle intambo yam kubafazi". Ndifumene le quote ku Sam Keane. Ngaba oko kungabandakanya umfazi othile? Kusenokwenzeka. Inokubandakanya oko. Kodwa kum “abasetyhini” kuthetha ukuba umntu oqhelekileyo, oyimfano-ngqondo wobufazi… kwiindawo ezikude zokucinga kwam… endibonisa… ethembisa ngoncumo nokuqinisekisa ukuba uyandohlwaya okanye undilawule. Ndihlawule amawaka eedola kulowo mntu ubuxoki ngohlobo loonongogo kwaye ndalahleka ubomi bam bonke ngenxa yokucinga okungaphaya okushiye ndindize ndingenanto. Hayi kwakhona.
Ndibhala le mvakalelo ukufudumala kweziko ngaphakathi kum- umoya wam. Khange ndiwakhe umoya wam- sele ikho-eyokwenene. Ndiyifumene ngokuyeka enye into eyayiyifihlile. Emva koko yazityhila- ukugqibezela kwam- ubomi. Inxalenye yomoya kum.
NGOKUQHELEKILEYO UKUFUNA INTO? NGOKUVUMELANA NOLONWABO OLUNGILEYO NOMNqweno
Xa sisenza imeko apho sinqwenela okanye sinqwenela into ethile, eyona nto siyinqwenelayo sisiqwenga sethu esilahlekileyo. Xa udibana nomntu okanye ubona iphonografi “ilungile” kwaye ayifumaneki - NGUWE ongafumanekiyo. Kungenxa yokuba uzincamile- kwaye ndithetha ukuba ngumoya okanye umntu wangaphakathi.
Inyaniso yethu yangaphakathi ibonisa indlela yethu yangaphandle. Into eyenzeka ngaphakathi iya kuhlala ibonakala kwihlabathi ngaphandle. Ukudibanisa ngokomoya ngokuphathelele ukufumaneka ngokupheleleyo. Ulwalamano oluzinzileyo, olunempilo oluchaphazelekayo olubandakanya uvakalelo lwakho lwangaphakathi kunye noxhumano ... kwimoya yangaphandle ... komnye umntu.
Xa sisoyika kwaye silangazelela ukufikelela ngaphandle sisiqwenga sethu esilahlekileyo, okanye silibale ukuba sinakho ngaphakathi. Isigqebelo kukuba… ukhuseleko nokugcwala ngaphakathi… kurhaxwa kukulangazelela ukhuseleko kunye nokuzala! Uyawubona umahluko?
Awunakuze ufumane ngaphandle ngaphandle ukugcwalisa ukuthenga kwangaphakathi. Nayiphi na ubudlelwane obunjengobunzima bokufuna (okanye ukungabi nalutho), akasoze kwanele.
Ingaba awutshatanga? Ngaba ukhe ubuze umbuzo "ndiza kulufumana nini uthando?" Impendulo ilula. Uya kulufumana uthando xa ukhetha ukufumana uthando ngaphakathi kwakho-ukufudumala, ukuphila, ubukho kuwe. KUPHILILE. Yonke enye into yesibini. Xa ufumana uthando ngaphakathi, ngokuqinisekileyo kufuneka lubonakale ngaphandle ngandlel 'ithile-mhlawumbi ubudlelwane bothando? Iqela? Umntu? Isilwanyana sasekhaya? Ubahlobo abasenyongweni ? Awunakukulawula oko. Esona sizathu sokuba ingabonakali kukuba uyayifuna ngaphandle kwakho ukuze ugcwalise i-ache yangaphakathi. Sebenzisa ukuzaliseka kwakho kwaye izinto ziya kuza.
LINK - UKUKHULA NGOKUDLULEKA, UKUKHOBOKA KUNYE NOKUFAWULA NGOKUPHELELEYO ... EMVA KWEMINYAKA engama-35
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Ibaleka ngokwenyani, inzulu kakhulu kum, kodwa ngenxa yokuba ingena nzulu kwaye nangenxa yokuba ibiyinxalenye yam… oko akuthethi ukuba ndikhokelela ekubeni ngamakhoboka ayo kwaye ndiziva ndikhululekile ukubhala oku. Ndikusebenzisile kule minyaka ili-10 idlulileyo njengenxalenye yohambo oluvuselelweyo phakathi kobomi, inyaniso kunye nenkohliso kwaye ke kum ndibambe ukudideka kwinto elungileyo kunye nobomi obuqinisekisayo. Kwaye umtshato wam wokutsala ngoku ungcono kunakuqala njengoko ungafakwanga amandla enkohliso angenakuze azaliswe kwaye umfazi wam akasaziva engafanelekanga nangona enesikizi. Ndisasokola (ongekhoyo) kwaye ayifezekanga kodwa ndonwabile ngakumbi kunangaphambili.
Umntwana wam oyintombazana wayekhe waba "ngumhlobo wam osenyongweni, ikrexe, iqabane, uqhagamshelo, isazisi kunye nendawo yokuya endaweni" yenkwenkwe nendoda enesizungu. Ngaba uyabona ukuba ukuba neqabane lokwenyani… inkosikazi kule planethi… kungakhuphisana okanye kube kukuchasana nokuncamathiselwa kwethu kwamaphupha? Bahlala kunjalo! Amadoda kufuneka ayazi loo nto. Umntwana wam ngoku utshintshiwe bubukho kunye nokunxibelelana okwenene noMoya kunye nenkosikazi kunye nobomi bobomi kunye nezinye izinto kunye nentlonipho kumfazi wam ngendlela ayiyo. Isenokungabikho i-100% kodwa ndiye ndandiswa ngaphaya kwayo. Kwaye konke malunga nokuyeka.
Ngamafutshane, usana olwenziweyo lwenziwa lwaza lwangaziwa njengayo nayiphi na into engaqhelekanga (njengokucela intlanzi ukuba amanzi ayiqhelekanga) ngeminyaka yoo-1970. Emva phaya abafazi nabafundisi-ntsapho besikolo kunye noodade abadala babenxiba iinylon ngalo lonke ixesha behambahamba ezitratweni kwaye bewela imilenze yabo phambi kwamakhwenkwe amancinci, okanye basiqinisekisa kakuhle ngoncumo olumnandi kunye namazwi aphezulu okanye basiqeqesha ngokungqongqo. Le mibutho ayikhange iqatshelwe enkwenkweni kwaye ingqondo yomntu iyayithanda imibutho kunye neempawu kwaye iyongeza ukubalisela ngakumbi ngokungabikho kolunye uluvo. Ke iimbewu zikhula kakuhle kule ndawo ingaphakathi. Ke akukho mfihlakalo konke konke malunga nokuba inokuba yakha njani. Kodwa uphawu kunye nebali aziyonyani, (nangona baziva ngathi) kwaye ayisiyonyani epheleleyo. Xa umema iNyaniso ku… zithatha intsingiselo eyahlukileyo- enengqiqo, iyatshintsha into yakho ukuze zingachongi “wena” nto leyo eyenza ukuba kube lula ukuyishiya. Nditsiba phambili.
Emuva kwi-1970's, yayingekona nje ukuba sasingqongwe yimfashini, kodwa nokuba wawunabazali abathandayo njengam (ukhwaze okanye ungakhathalelwa ngumama okude) ingqondo igqithela kwimfesane (ayifanelanga ukuba yeyokwabelana ngesondo kodwa yeyam bezihlala) kwaye ezi zinto zimnandi kunye nemibono ziye zangqengqa kum okanye ngeentonga ekuhambeni kwexesha kwaye umntwana waba sisiseko sokubaleka kwangoko. Umz. Umnqweno wokubonwa, owaziwayo kunye nokwamkelwa kunye nokuqinisekiswa (ukuthandwa) ngabafazi abahle njengakwikhathalogu yeSears. Ngaba asifuni sonke ukuthandwa kukwazi? Ngaba asifuni sonke ukusondela kunye nokusondela? Siyakwenza ... kodwa akukho mfuneko yokuba sinxibelelanise ngesigqubuthelo okanye udonga okanye umntu ophakathi komntwana ukuze enze njalo. Kodwa akukho mntu undixelele loo nto.
Ukuphinda ubambe ikhowudi kwangoko. Abasetyhini banxibe iimpahla ezi-sexy ezifana ne-nylons kwaye amadoda awazange… ke ngoko iimpahla = “ubufazi obongezelelweyo kwaye bahlukile kwaye buyimfihlakalo”. Abasetyhini ngabanakekeli ngoko ke ikhowudi = "izele ngamandla nokukhulisa ukusondelelana" Impahla yesini = uphawu "lobufazi" ekumele ukuba "ndilahlekile kumbindi wam" oya kuthi ngandlela thile ukhokelele "ekupheleleni nasekugqibeleleni nasexolweni" ukuba ndinako uhlala "uyifumana". Xa ezi khowudi zisisiseko zingumthombo… emva koko yonke enye into yakhiwe ukusuka apho. Kwaye xa izibonda ziphakame (ngokuzingisileyo) emva koko siqala ukuhoya kwaye silandele apho sicinga ukuba basihambisa khona. Ayisiyonto imfutshane ukuba likhoboka okanye ubuncinci iseti yayo kwaye amakhwenkwe kufuneka azi ukuba ngakumbi ngoku ngoku nge-intanethi ye-intanethi kunye nemifanekiso. Kodwa ewe bendingazi ngale khowudi yomthombo iphosakeleyo kwaye kwandithatha iminyaka engama-30 yentlungu kunye nokudideka ukuyifumana. Ngoku ndinoMthombo omtsha! Naziphi na izenzo zam, iingcinga zekhowudi zilandela oko. Nditsiba phambili.
Ngaphezulu kweminyaka engama-20 iye yathatha kancinci kwaye inyusa ngokuthatha ubomi iyodwa kwaye yahlaselwa kwabafazi besenza ezinye izinto zesondo -ezokwenyani okanye ezicingelwayo- (ngelixa benxibe ipantyhose). Emva koko ulawulo lwabasetyhini langena kulo, emva koko ndambethe i-pantyhose, ukuhlaziswa ngomlomo, kwaye ekugqibeleni i-S & M, kunye ne-bi. Ungayibona inkqubela phambili. Ngaba oko kuvakala kulungile kuwe? Njengenkululeko? Ekugqibeleni kwayo ndilahleka kwifantasy yabasetyhini ngaba bafuna okanye bandilawule okanye bobabini. Kwakhona… akusekho mfihlakalo kwakhona yenza ingqiqo enkulu. Ikhowudi eneziphene ekwakhiweni kwenye ikhowudi. Kodwa ikhowudi (iingcinga) ayisiyiNyaniso… kwaye ayingo "thina okanye isazisi sethu" kodwa izenza ngathi. Ke unokwakhela kuyo yonke into oyifunayo kodwa inesiphene. Ndaphinda ndayeka.
Ngapha koko, inkqubela phambili nangaphambi kokuba nditshate ndenza enye yezi zinto ngoonongogo mhlawumbi amaxesha angama-50 kwisithuba seminyaka eli-15 kwaye kuya kufuneka ndifunde amaphephancwadi e-10,000, iithiyetha ze-porno kunye ne-intanethi kwaye ndachitha iminyaka emininzi. Njengoko unokufunda kunye nokuqonda ekubhaleni kwam ngokuqinisekileyo ndandikumntwana wam. Ndiyekile ukudlala xa nditshatile kodwa ndiyaqhubeka nokwenza! Ndiza kukrokra ndize ndisole umfazi wam ngokuthe cwaka okanye ngokuvakalayo ngokungabikho "kulungiswa" kwam kwaye ndaziva ndililolo kwaye ndihlukanisiwe naye ochaphazela umtshato wam de kwaba lixesha loqhawulo mtshato. Ndingayihoya njengoko ndikholelwa ukuba akandihoyi, okanye aphume njengenkwenkwana efuna ukunxibelelana ekuphela kwendlela awayeyazi ngayo. Ndibhidekile, ndambona njengonobangela kunye nokujoliswa yintlungu ebomini bam nokwahlukana, kwaye wayendibona ndizicingela bodwa, ndingakhathali kwaye ndingakhathali ngaye. Wayesona sizathu sokuba ndingaziva njengendoda iphela, eqondwayo kunye nendoda ethandekayo kwaye ukuba angatshintsha kuphela angene ebusaneni bam ... ke ubomi buya kuba bumnandi njengoko sobabini singangqinelana nenyaniso yobukho bam- ipentyhose yam fetish. Ikhowudi ibinombuzo 'ukuba emva koko kunye nesiphumo'… Isandi siqhelekile?
Namhlanje ndivuyiswa kukuba le ntolongo iphezulu kwaye ndiza kuzama ukukuxelela indlela kodwa yaqala ngayo intlungu, ukuhlaselwa kwesoyiki kunye nokuxhalaba kwaye ndiyeke ukuhamba konke.
Kwakhona… akusekho mfihlakalo kwakhona yenza ingqiqo enkulu. Ukwakhiwa kwekhowudi kwikhowudi. Kodwa ikhowudi (iingcinga) ayisiyiNyaniso… kwaye ayisiyo thina okanye isazisi sethu kodwa izenza ngathi ikhona. UThixo (intsingiselo, inyani kunye nenkululeko) akananto ayisebenzisayo ukuba emva koko unengqiqo ngokungathi-ke yinto enemiqathango, uphawu lomntu. kwaye isikelwe umda kwaye ayikhokeleli kwinkululeko yangaphakathi. Umthombo omtsha endithetha ngawo… awunamibandela… ngaphandle kokuvumela nantoni na ukuba ifike apho Kodwa asifundiswanga ukuba kwinkcubeko yethu enengxolo ukubukela iDisney, okanye iJackass okanye ukukhangela umnatha sidlala imidlalo yekhompyuter okanye sibalekele kwi-porn.
Ukuba unomntwana olula okanye ukhetha into ethile kunye neqabane lakho liyonwabela eli nqaku alisebenzi. Ukuba unomntwana okhulelweyo kwaye iqabane lakho alithathi kwaye eli nqaku alinamsebenzi njengoko linokuvelisa kuwe, "oh kulungile… kodwa ndisenomnqweno". Kodwa ukuba unesiseko esinzulu, isini esilawula ubomi bakho kwaye sikubangele imicimbi kwaye ufuna ukutshintsha kwaye ukhule emva koko ufuna ukucetyiswa nomcebisi olungileyo, kunye nesisombululo sokomoya kwaye eli nqaku linokunika isikhokelo.
ZI-1 ZENDAWO ZE-7 ZOKUNCEDA (FUNDA UKUPHATHA KWENKQUBO YOKUPHELA KWI-FET YEXANDELO LESIBINI) KWABANYE I-6
1) Isazisi kunye noMoya. UMBUZO: Ngaba ndingayenza le nto ngaphandle kokuhlakulela ubumoya? A- akunjalo. Umcimbi ophambili wokuba sibonwe sisisu sethu kwaye kufuneka singazichazi kwaye sihambe… ngaphandle kwayo nayiphi na intlungu… .ngashukumi kumntwana ngenxa yolonwabo. Yeyiphi le nto besihlala siyenza.
Uyabona, sinokubambelela okungathethekiyo kumbono. Iziyobisi. Kwaye sinentambo yeebhiliyoni zee-neuron ezisingqongileyo kwingqondo yethu kwaye xa sicinga ngayo kukho umkhukula weekhemikhali zendalo eziluthayo esizondla ngazo. Okubi ngakumbi kukuba, u "Ndi" unomntwana uba "ndingumntwana kwaye kufuneka ndibenayo" kwinqanaba elithile… kwaye kutheni le nto singafuna ukuyiyeka ihambe? Oko kuya kufana nokusika ingalo yakho okanye inxalenye yakho okanye ngakumbi. Kunene? Chongiwe = iqhotyoshelwe = iqhagamshelwe ngokudityanisiwe = Kufuneka sigqobhoze. Kodwa singayibonisa njani? Ngaba singayenza ukusuka kwinqanaba lokucinga kwethu? Ukuba uzama inokuhlala ithutyana kodwa iya kubuya.
Nangona ithatha ubomi bethu kwaye umtshato wethu uqhekeka, soyika ukuba siyakuphulukana nathi ukuba siyashukuma kwaye sinikezele ekuphela kwendawo ethembekileyo apho siziva sikhuselekile, saziwa kwaye siseta ngokutsha okanye silungisa okanye "siqhelekile." Kunene? Kuya kufuneka uyibuze loo nto. Jongisa ezinye zolo lwazi lubangela ukuba imeko yomntwana ibe nomdla wokuyazi into eyinyani.
Ukufikisa njengoko kufanelekile kukufaka iikhowudi okungalunganga, kodwa ukumamela kum akuyi kukukhulula- kuphela ukufikelela kwakho kwiNyaniso. Awunakho “ukuyisusa le” ngokucinga njengoko ingenakusonjululwa kwindawo yengqondo-ii-neurons-iingcingo-zokufaka iikhowudi-kubuchwephesha bengqondo. Ngoba? Leliphi icandelo lengqondo elibanga igunya kwelinye icala? Uya kuhamba kwizangqa- ngolu hlobo “Ndidinga ukuyeka… kodwa andinakuyincama mna kunye nobuni bam” Iyaphela. Iindaba ezimnandi ayizizo ezokwenyani- zizinto ezingezizo, kukuzazisa.
Ngendlela endicinga ukuba noxinzelelo kunye noxinzelelo kunye nezinye izinto zisebenza ngolu hlobo-hayi nje usana. Ndamazi umfana owaba likhoboka lotywala kwaye wazibulala njengoko waphulukana nomsebenzi ngenxa yokuba wayechongwe njenge-VP eyimpumelelo kangangokuba kwakungacingeki ukuba umsebenzi wakhe ulahlekile. Okanye umfazi obhinqileyo ukuba abe yintshatsheli kumdlalo bhanyabhanya. Umahluko omncinci.
Sichaza zethu iingcinga kunye neenkolelo kwaye le yinkinga yethu yokuqala.
Khawuqwalasele oku okulandelayo kumntwana wesisu ...
a) Ukuba ndithathiwe ndineminyaka emi-2 ubudala ndinemfuza eyiyo ndaza ndamkelwa kwifama yaseNew Zealand… ndaza ndachanabeka kwimeko eyahluke ngokupheleleyo kubazali basezifama… ingaba ndingaba nosana lwenylon? Akunakwenzeka njalo. Ke ayiyonyani kwaphela malunga nesazisi sam. Ngamava am nje kunye nento endiyibophelele kuyo. Oku kundinika imvume yokuyeka ngaphandle kokurhoxa.
b) Okanye masithi ngomso, ukuba ibhola ye-bowling yawa entlokweni yam yabangela i-amnesia epheleleyo malunga nosana lwam (ngelixa ishiya yonke into efanayo kubandakanya umsebenzi wam, ufuzo, usapho, izinto endizithandayo, iimbono njlnjl.… kuphela usana oluye lwanyamalala… ngekhe ukuvela kwaye uziva ngathi "mna". Ewe ndingathanda.
Ngapha koko ndingaziva ngcono kwaye ndiphila ngaphandle kwesidudu somntwana. Umntwana ayinguwe… ukuze uzive ukhuselekile ekuyekeni. Kodwa lumkiswa ukuba kuya kuziva ngathi kukhula ngokurhoxa. Kwaye kulungile. Uya kuba ulungile xa unikezela. Ukuba i-100% ikukhuphele ngaphandle uzame iipesenti ezingama-50. Kwaye mna ndinikezele nge-90% yam kodwa i-10% yokugqibela ikhona kodwa ngoku ifana neziqhamo zempukane- ayilawuli ubomi bam kodwa ndiyakuvuma ukuba iyacaphukisa njengoko nditshitshisa iingcinga ezinqwenelekayo amaxesha ngamaxesha. Ukuba ndigxile kuyo bayakhula kunjalo.
2) Ukwamkelwa kunye noLwandiso. Sukulwa nayo uze uzenze ikheswa. Njengentlabathi ekhawulezayo… musa ukulwa nayo. Oku kuzisa iintloni ngakumbi. Nomdlalo… kwaye iingqondo ziyayithanda idrama ngoko ke uza kuyenza mandundu. Endaweni… yamkela kwaye wandise. Yamkele kwaye uthethe ngayo kubahlobo abathembekileyo, ugqirha okanye inyathelo le-12. Oku akuthethi ukuba ungayihoyi nokuba ungazenza, okanye iya kukhula nayo. Kukungavumi oko. Ke zombini ingcinezelo kunye nokwala akusebenzi kwaye kuyayenza incamathele. Kukho indlela yesithathu-… indlela yokomoya yokwamkelwa. Yamkele. Kwaye ukhethe indlela ecacileyo esekwe kumoya. Yamkele kunye nendima ayidlalileyo kunye nendlela oyile ngayo ukusuka kwindawo efudumeleyo yolwazi lwakho-umongo wakho-uMoya wakho-Inyaniso yakho. Oku ayikokucinga okuqinisekileyo-le yindawo yokwenyani ngaphakathi kuwe egutyungelwe yingxolo kunye nokubamba kokungabikho kwakho kunye nesisu. Kukho inkululeko yokwenene ngaphakathi kuwe kodwa ayifumaneki ngokufumana 'ukulungiswa kwangaphandle- okwenyani okanye okucingelwayo. Kungenxa yokuyeka oko kunye nokuwela kubukho obungaphakathi, obunobunkunkqele (umoya) oziva ngathi unje- kuba nguwe. ulwandiso lukaThixo okanye indalo yomdali wethu kwaye ngoku uqala ukuyihlonipha loo nto.
Kodwa uninzi lwento endiyivayo nendiyifundayo ngoThixo ihlala i-bullshit. UThixo akanguye uSanta Clause okanye indoda emhlophe enamandla eneklabhu eya kuthi ichithe iingxaki ibenze ukuba ihambe. Lo Thixo ndithetha ngaye ngu-ubutyebi-kwaye awunasiphelo- "NDINGUYE" okanye ukuba ngumntu- ukwaziyo okuphila, (kwahluke kakhulu kwiingcinga). kwakhona iingcinga ziyasilahlekisa. Ukucinga ukuba uThixo ulungile okanye ulungile akunamsebenzi kwaphela. UThixo u "unjalo" kwaye unjalo kodwa usenokuba ulibale ngalonto. Awunguye nje umntu (iingcingo kunye nemithambo yegazi ”ungumntu- ukuba yinxalenye kuko okuzokukunceda.
Ke unakho ukuhambisa olu lwazi luphilayo okanye ube yiyo yonke into engenamsebenzi kwaye ugqithiselwe njengokubuyela kwinto elungileyo. Okungakumbi kokukhanya kwangaphakathi okanye ngaphezulu kobukho obuthambileyo obunyibilikisa kude ukukhohlisa kwaye kushushu kwaye kunothando. (kodwa ngaphandle kokuchasene)
Nangona kunjalo ndiqinisekile ukuba unoluvo lwakho. Njengoko uwamkela lo mntwana ngamava akho kwaye wamkela isincamathiselo sakho esinyanzelekileyo unokwenza ngokungathandabuzekiyo emva koko usiyeke sikhethe. Njengokuba ine-acre enetyhefu yezityalo ezingivelisi. Endaweni yokuchitha onke amandla akho uguqula, vumela nje ukuba ibekhona… kwaye uqalise ukwandisa nokutyala imbewu entsha kwiihektare ezintsha kodwa kufuneka ukhethe oko. Khetha ubomi, khetha. Akukho mntu unokuyenza loo nto ngaphandle kwakho. Khetha nangona. Ngaphandle kokutshintsha komdlalo. Endala ikhona… kodwa uyalima emitsha.
3) 12 Step-hamba ufumane indawo ekufutshane nawe kwaye uhlale kuyo. Iyoyikisa ekuqaleni kodwa zonke zijongana nemicimbi efanayo, kunye ne-dynamics, nokuba butywala, iziyobisi, ukutya, ukungcakaza okanye isini okanye usana ngaphandle kolawulo- thatha uxanduva kwaye ujongane nayo. Okanye ubuncinci funda incwadi enamanyathelo ali-12.
Ndifunde ngenqanaba eli-12 ukuba abantu abaqhelekileyo bahlengahlengisa indlela abaziphatha ngayo kunye neminqweno yabo yokuhlangabezana nemibono, kunye namaxabiso abo. Mna, kumakhosi wenza okuphambene. Ndihlengahlengisile amaxabiso am (umfazi, ubomi, umoya, unxibelelwano, ikhondo lomsebenzi okanye umzuzu obalulekileyo) ukukhuthaza indlela yam yokuziphatha ngokwesondo okanye iminqweno. Yonke into yazilungelelanisa ngeenxa zonke… kwaye yayilusizi. Yirhoxe!
Kulungele ukusinika izinto. Ndiphulukene ne-50 lbs hayi ngokungabikho kunye neminqweno yam yokutya esetyenziselwa ukucinga ukuba 'ndim'. Njani? ndijonge kwi-buffet… ndifuna ukutya okunamafutha… ndiva amathe am… kodwa ndisakhetha isaladi kunye nesuphu. Ngokuphindaphindiweyo kuye kwafuneka ndiyenze le nto. Ngaphandle kokufuna. Khange ndiyifumane le nkululeko intsha “ngenxa” yokufuna ukwaneliseka… ndiyifumene ngokuyiyeka.
Njengawuphi na umlingo esiyidingayo isinyathelo se-12 kunye nokholo ukuze kugcinwe ukukhula kwaye kufuneka siyenze le ndlela yokuphila. Ngokuqinisekileyo sinokumisa iiveki kodwa sithande ukutshatyalaliswa kokutya esidibeneyo kunye neenkcukacha ze-500 kuluntu lwethu ukuze sidle kwaye sifuna izixhobo zokucima oko.
4) Injongo, ukuQaphela kunye nokuCamngca- kumalunga nokuyeka nokukhula. Ukungabambeki kunye nokuma. Ngaba oko kuyinyaniso kuwe? Kodwa singayeka kuphela oko sikwaziyo? Bendingazi malunga nokukhotyokiswa kwam ngumntwana wam ... nangona ndiyenzile iminyaka engama-35! Yazifihla kwindawo engenanto.
Kukho izinto ezaziwayo… esinokujongana nazo emva koko ukhethe ukuyeka. kodwa kwenzeka ntoni xa kukho izinto ezingaziwayo ezingaziwayo? Okanye awaziwa? Esi sisipho sokukhumbula. Thatha ikhosi okanye ufunde incwadi kwaye uziqhelanise nayo. UBuddha wayenamathele ngokufanelekileyo, nakwizinto ezilungileyo, ancancise kwaye abangele ukubandezeleka. Wazi ngomzimba wakho, iingcinga zakho, iinkolelo, inkanuko, uloyiko, isizungu, ubuntwana, iimvakalelo… kwaye wenze ubuhlobo nayo yonke loo nto. Yamkele yonke ngokungathi ukhetha ukutya kwimenyu. Hlala neemvakalelo ezinzima kulwazi lwakho. Makuhambe konke kwaye ukhethe amanyathelo asempilweni mihla le
Fumana into oyinikwa ngumntwana wakho okanye akwenzela yona. Yintoni injongo yayo? Xa udikiwe okanye ungonwabanga - fumana incwadi yamanqaku ubukele ukuba ingqondo yakho iyaphi… okanye ucamngce kakuhle okanye uthandaze… ubuze ukuba ndifuna ukuziva ntoni ukuba lo mzalwana unikezele? YILEYO into ekufuneka uyive ngoko nangona ingathandeki (kwaye ndiyakuqinisekisa ukuba kuya kuba buhlungu… kodwa sele usentlungwini ”, akunjalo? Kodwa ukuya kule ntlungu nokwamkela yindlela eya kuyo ukuze uphile-ungazifihli kwaye usebenzise Ngokuqinisekileyo uyajamelana nentlungu… kodwa usinika ukubandezeleka okuyenza mandundu imeko.
Buza… Ngaba kukhuselekile? Ukhuseleko? Ngaba ekugqibeleni ugqibile? Ngokupheleleyo? Uyaqonda? Ukusondela? Ngaba ubophelelekile kumfazi? Uyaqonda? Ngaba ludibaniso lokugqibela? Ngaba uyohlwaywa kwaye 'ulungisiwe "? Ngaba akukho nto okanye into engekhoyo? Ukucela umntu obhinqileyo okanye into ethile yobufazi ukuba igcwalise oko… kufana nokuncamathela kwisikhonkwane esityebileyo somngxunya kumngxunya omncinci ongqukuva. Ayinakusebenza… kwaye ukumnxiba izithende akuyitshintshi loo nto. Ukuba umfazi okwinyama akakugqibezeli (kwaye akanako kwaye akanakuze) angabeka njani izithende ngequbuliso ukukusindisa? Nguwe kuphela okugqibezelayo… kwaye xa ndithetha ukuba ungumntu oyinyaniso. NGOKU ngoku uba luncomelo olubalulekileyo ebomini bakho… hayi ukugqitywa kwalo. Impahla yakhe ke iba zii-fries… hayi isidlo sonke. Funda oku ngokuphindaphindiweyo. Umntwana kunye nenkululeko (ngaphakathi) zizinto ezimbini ezahlukeneyo. Ukuba ufuna ukulungiswa okwenyani ujongane nentlungu yakho kwaye uyamnkele- LEYO yinkqubela phambili, NGOKU qalisa ukuxela kule ndawo intsha.
Zonke izibonelelo ezibizwa ngokuba zii-fetish zakho zonke zizinto ezingabizi (ukuba ndiyavuma ndiziva ndiyinyani kwaye ndigqibele okwethutyana)… kodwa ayingomandla okongeza? Ukulungiswa okwethutyana uzive ungcono kwaye uphinde ushiye kwakhona. Ukulungiswa kwangempela akusweli, kodwa kuya kuhamba…. ayikuko ukuba ayisebenzi… kodwa uyigubungele ngengxolo yeemfuno zakho kwakhona, kwaye waphazamiseka kwakhona. Kwaye kwakhona.
Okungakumbi kuya kutyhilwa kuwe- ezinye ezingaziwayo ziya kuvela njengezaziwa kwaye emva koko unokukhetha ukwamkela okanye ukuncama ngokusekwe kukukhanya okungaphakathi kunye nobulumko obungaphakathi kunye nesikhokelo.
5) Inokuba uzive ntoni- ukuba ucinga ntoni? Kwaye uziva engonelisekanga njani ngokusekelwe kukungaze alinganise. Yibuyise umva. Masithi ngalo lonke ixesha efuna ubusuku bomhla kunye nefuck, wanyanzelisa ukuba unxibe i-tuxedo njengoJames Bond, umnike intyatyambo ebomvu kunye ne- $ 500. Ngalo lonke ixesha. Icacise kakhulu-ixesha ngalinye. Okanye wayethetha ngokungapheliyo malunga nayo. Masithi uyayifuna yonke lento kuba ukhule eyintombazana encinci enesithukuthezi kodwa ebukela iimovie kwaye efana nojames bond-wazibophelela kwingcinga yeBond, kunye nothando oluchulumancisayo lomntu wasemzini, umhlola, kwi-tuxedo, ngemali onika iintyatyambo kunye neewos women.
Ugcwalisa le ndima kuphela ukuba uthobela iimeko zakhe kwaye uyakwamkela. Kodwa ukuba uphumle kwaye ube nguwe kwaye unxibe ijini, kunye ne-burp kwaye uneedola ezili-10… kucinyiwe ngokupheleleyo. Ungavakalelwa njani?
Misa i-porn kunye nokuskena esitalatweni. Kutheni ufuna ngaphezulu. Ukuba ulikhoboka lotywala ungabusela utywala kwaye ujonge iilebhile zebhotile ezingenanto? Okanye ngeefestile zewindows? Kutheni uzikhathaza? Kutheni le nto ukongeza into eyongezelelekileyo kwisini esele sifumile? Yiya ekampini endaweni yoko. Yonwabela izinto ezincinci-sukugcina umphefumlo wakho ngenxa yezona zinto zinkulu zokugqibela. Leyo yinkomo.
6) Kulungile uyeke- Okokugqibela… kulungile ukuyeka izinto. Awuzincami. Awuyi kubanjiswa okanye ume kwindawo enesithukuthezi yobomi be-vanilla ngokunikezela. Kuphela kuxa uthatha ingcebiso kulaa wena umncinci-loo mfana ungxamisekileyo ufuna umntwana wakho njenge-crutch uyakukukholelwa oko. Inkwenkwe esweleyo kufuneka ikhulele emntwini, ogcwele kuye kwaye angapha.
Ngapha koko zama. I-Vanilla imnandi kakhulu kum ngoku. Ukwenza uthando kumfazi wam ndiziva ndidibene kwaye ndikhulu ngaphandle kweengubo zangaphantsi. I-Vanilla fucking iyonwabisa. Ndingayithanda ukuba wayenxibe nayiphi na? Qiniseka. Kodwa andiyidingi. Kwaye ndiyamkela ukuba akafuni nangona ndinganomsindo kwaye ndidandathekile. Ngoku uphumile kwikhonkco lokundigqiba kubudlelwane obufana nomntwana. Ndiziva ngathi ndiyindoda yokwenene- indoda entsha yokwenene. Jonga ukuba uziva ulwandiso lwangaphakathi ngalo lonke ixesha uswele, isiqu sakho siyancama.
Indlela esikhule ngayo kunye neendlela zethu zisixelela ukuba ukufumana into elungileyo, kwaye ngelixa ukufumana izinto “kumnandi” njengokuba usiya ukhula kancinci usenokubona ukuba "ukuncama" kulapho… ingeyiyo inkcubeko yethu yabathengi. Iphupha elikhulu laseMelika malunga "nokwenza" kwaye ekugqibeleni lifike "apho" liyintsomi enkulu yaseMelika. Kukho "apha" kwizinto ezincinci. Kuyafana ne-shit yokuba abantu basetyhini bondliwa kubufazi malunga nayo yonke into. Yonwaba kwaye wenze izinto ezintle zamadoda, kwaye omnye komnye kwaye ugcine kulula. Musa ukukhohliswa libali lexhoba kunye nelungelo. Isebenza kakhulu njengomlutha.
7) Ayisiyo ngxaki yokuziphatha. Akukho nanye kwezi zingasentla ingumba wokuziphatha. Akukho kuqhuqha umnwe. Lo ngumzabalazo wabantu ukuba bathandwe kwaye bakhuseleke. Imalunga neNyaniso kunye nokukhohlisa. Okanye iNyaniso kunye nesimboli. Okanye ubukho xa kuthelekiswa nembono yokuba kufanele ukuba yintoni. Akukho mntu unokukugqibezela-hayi umfazi wakho, umama, abantwana okanye iPorche. Hayi ipantyhose okanye irabha. Okanye i-blowjob. Ngumoya wakho kuphela oyinyani, inkululeko engundoqo. ZONKE ezi zinto zinokongezwa njengeebhonasi ukuba ziyavela, kwaye ukuba azenzi njalo kulungile. Njengoko ugcwele kakade. Uvumelekile ukuba ufune izinto… kodwa oku kwahlukile kumnqweno wokugqitywa kunye nemfuno yokwenza ezi zinto ukukonwabisa.
Ayisiyonto ilungileyo okanye engalunganga into zombini ezisekhohlo (inkululeko) kunye nelungelo (i-conservatives) ezingabonakali ngathi zifumana. UThixo nenyaniso ayikho malunga ngasekhohlo okanye ngasekunene. Hayi malunga nesikhukula "yenza nantoni na oyifunayo" inkcubeko ukuze sikhululeke. Apha ukutyeba kuyachuma.
Okanye ngokwahlukileyo “le yinkcubeko yesono… ke musa okanye ungalunganga” - apha kugwetywa nengcinezelo. Kukho indlela yesithathu yokomoya ethi "kulungile ukuba ukhululekile ukuyenza ... kodwa inokubangela ukubandezeleka kwaye ayisiyiyo inkululeko noxolo oluphambili kunye nokuzaliseka. Kancinci ngokubandezeleka siye sazi ukuba kuyinyani kwaye sithatha iindlela zethu-hayi iinkanuko zethu. Asinakufumana okwaneleyo okungasonelisiyo… kusikhokelela ekubeni sibuyele kwinto eyenzayo. NguThixo. Kungenxa yoko le nto ndingalithandi igama elithi "musa" - liyenza mandundu ngokungongeza umdlalo wento engavumelekanga kwaye iingqondo zethu zikhiyeke kuloo nto. Umcimbi wokomoya awuyi kusombululwa engqondweni.
Igama Musa ungathi kufanele- ligama elisisidenge. Iyabutyeshela ubunyani bokuba ngumntu. Ngoba? kuba SIZA kuhendeka ... kwaye SIYA kukhohliswa kwaye SIYAQHUBEKA… kwaye SINEMIBono esenza ukuba sishukume kwaye sithathe ingqalelo size silahlekiswe. Yamkela yonke loo nto. Guqula igama ungalithi “XA KUYENZEKA”… KWAYE ... Linike umoya usebenzisa izixhobo ezingasentla… emva koko uthathe amanyathelo kuloo ndawo. Ngexesha ngalinye. Ngale ndlela uyawuhlonipha umzabalazo wobuntu nenyaniso yomoya. Xa usenza ilamonade awulahli ilemon ekrakra (ingcinga yomntu), uyongeza nje iswekile kunye namanzi (ubukho) kwaye iyathandeka iphelele kwaye ilungelelene kwaye ilungile.
Kwafuneka ndikhuphe ukurhoxa kakhulu njengesiyobisi kunye neemvakalelo kunye neemvakalelo ezingalawulekiyo andazi ukuba ndinazo, kwaye kum zahlala iinyanga kodwa ndandilukhuni. Iingcambu zale nto kum bezingezizo nje-zibaleka nzulu. Kungumzabalazo engqondweni yam ngamaxesha athile, kodwa kulunge ngakumbi, kubomi bokwenyani. ngokusisiseko ihambile. sekuyiminyaka ukusukela oko kumisa ukudlala kodwa umdlalo omnandi ungahlala uphila. Namhlanje umzekelo ngeyure ezili-12 ngosuku, usuku olunzima lomsebenzi, ndiye ndacinga ngalo amatyeli aliqela ngaphantsi kwemizuzwana emi-5, ngokungathi bendinokucinga. kungoko mhlawumbi i -3% yosuku lwam? Kwiiveki ezi-2 ezidlulileyo nangona kunjalo ndinengxaki yokulala ndaza ndawela kuyo kangangemizuzu engama-30 kwaye kwafuneka ndiyihambile ndicamngce ndibukele iTV. ke ngaloo ndlela ukuba andilumkanga ndinokungena ngokulula. kodwa ihambile kubomi bam bobulili njengoko umfazi wam engathandi kwaphela.
10) Isifiso vs Dependency
Akukho mntu onokuyenza loo ngqiqo ngaphandle kwakho. Nokuba awuzange ulinganise ... kwaye ungaze uthinte nabani na… ndisayigcina into yokuba unamathele entweni, nantoni na (usana okanye uloyiko oluhlala lukhona kwiintsholongwane okanye umsindo njlnjl.) Engqondweni, uzikhawulela kunye nobomi bakho. Kwaye ke ukunciphisa umda kwimpembelelo yakho kwihlabathi-elifuna abantu ukuba babekho kwaye babeyinyani. Zibuze ngobunono, camngca, kwaye ufumane incwadana ...
Ngaba unomdla kunye nesifiso sokucinga ... okanye uxhomekeka? Sizizidalwa zomnqweno kodwa kukho umahluko ekukhanyeni komnqweno ukuya kubuzaza kunye namandla okuxhomekeka. Okanye ngaba umnqweno uqala ngaloo ndlela… kwaye ujike kwangoko ungene kwimibono yethu? Kulapho ufuna ukuphazamisa inkqubo. Kwenze kwakamsinya nje ukuba iqale. Xa uziva utshintsho lotshintsho kunye nokuphefumla kwaye uphinde uphinde uphinde uhambe ngokuzithandela. Ngaphandle komnqweno wokulandela intambo engqondweni yakho. Ubukho kwaye uyazi ukuba ikhokelela phi.
-Ngaba kukho ubungqina kunye namaxesha amaninzi eengcamango neemvakalelo ezithatyathwa ngaphandle kwenani unyawo okanye isibini esitokisini okanye nantoni na. Uninzi lwabafana luthi "isihogo ewe… ndiyazithanda iinyawo" kodwa oko akuthethi nto kuwe ukuba uthe phithi ngabo. Kufana notywala obufuna ukuthuthuzelwa ngabahlobo abakhalayo bethi "woo-hoo" Ndiyathanda ukuya epatini "ukuze athi uyabona ukuba kuyinto eqhelekileyo. UNorma akancedi nganto. Ngaba iyasebenza? Okanye ayisebenzi? LEYO yimibuzo.
-Ungumqhubi?… Okanye sele "uqhutywa." Yeyiphi ipesenti yosuku lwakho okanye ubuncinci ixesha lakho nabafazi oku kuyadlala? Ndayilinganisa eyam iminyaka eli-10 eyadlulayo kwaye ibisoyikisa!, Ngoku incinci kakhulu (kodwa ingakhula ngokukhawuleza okwexeshana ukuba ndiyondla)
11) Yinike indawo
Ngokuziqhelanisa / ngokujolisa kumntwana ungakhula… kwaye ngokuzoyikisa / uzenzele iintloni kwaye uziqinise ngodonga-uyayondla. Xa ivela… ungenzi nto. Ungaze ugwebe ukuba oku "kubi" njengoko injalo nje enye ingcinga. Yijonge idlula. Yiva ukungonwabi kunye nokubongoza. Yiva ngathi uza kujonga isiphango. Yiba nomdla malunga nobunzima. Yenza la maxesha angama-5000 kwaye kwenzeka ntoni ukwanda… ngummangaliso… kuyehla, kwaye amandla afakwa kuzo zonke ezinye iinkalo zobomi bakho. amandla ayenzeka.
Oku kwehlisa / ukuthoba amandla ayisiyiyo kuba uyixelele ukuba ihambe… okanye uyiyalele kude… okanye uyikhuphe… okanye “uyicinge”… kodwa ngenxa yokuba uyijongile kwaye wayamkela (yonke imiba malunga nayo)… kwaye khange uyenze phendula-kodwa uphendule kuyo wenza into eyahlukileyo. Okanye ukuba uphendule wabukela lonto nawe… kwaye wathi "wow apho ndiya kusabela" kodwa ujonge. Yenza oku amaxesha angama-5000 kwaye ukwenze umkhwa wakho ukuyeka, kwaye "awuzukuyeka." Uyakuziva ubanzi ngathi umntu ubeka imaski ye-oxegen ngaphezulu kwakho.
Sukwenzanto. Ungayiniki nto, ke akukho nto yakhela kuyo. Njengokuba uzama ukubetha umoya okanye ukunyuka udonga olunamafutha. Awuzami ukutshintsha usana kodwa endaweni yoko tshintsha ubudlelwane bakho nalo… ke ngubani oyena mntu utshintshayo.
Sebenzisa iintsuku zonke kwi-fantazise okanye usebenzise imfesane okanye i-porn njengeendlela zokuvusa nokunikela ngaphezulu. uzibone njengamafutha… ukuyeka ngoku ngokuzithandela ukuze ugcwalise imfudumalo emangalisayo yokwazi ukuphila!
12) Ayisiyo ngxaki yokuziphatha. Akukho nanye kwezi zingasentla ingumba wokuziphatha. Akukho kuqhuqha umnwe. Lo ngumzabalazo wabantu ukuba bathandwe kwaye bakhuseleke. Imalunga neNyaniso kunye nokukhohlisa. Okanye iNyaniso kunye nesimboli. Okanye ubukho xa kuthelekiswa nembono yokuba kufanele ukuba yintoni. Akukho mntu unokukugqibezela-hayi umfazi wakho, umama, abantwana okanye iPorche. Hayi ipantyhose okanye irabha. Okanye i-blowjob. Ngumoya wakho kuphela oyinyani, inkululeko engundoqo. ZONKE ezi zinto zinokongezwa njengeebhonasi ukuba ziyavela, kwaye ukuba azenzi njalo kulungile. Okanye ukuba bayakwenza kwaye bathabathe indawo kwaye batywilise ispirt sakho ke unemvume yokubayeka. Uya kuzuza kuphela njengoko sele ugcwele. Uvumelekile ukuba ufune izinto… kodwa oku kwahlukile kumnqweno wokugqitywa kunye nemfuno yokwenza ezi zinto ukuze wonwabe.
Ayisiyonto ilungileyo okanye engalunganga into zombini ezisekhohlo (inkululeko) kunye nelungelo (i-conservatives) ezingabonakali zilungile. Inkululeko yangaphakathi ayikho malunga ngasekhohlo okanye ngasekunene. Ayithethi ngomkhukula "wenze nantoni na oyifunayo" inkcubeko ukuze sikhululeke njengakwicala lenkululeko. Apha ukutyeba kuphumelela kuphelela ekukhohlisweni nasekuphelelweni lithemba. Okanye, “le yinkcubeko yesono… ke musa ukuba umbi okanye ungalunganga” - apha umgwebo nengcinezelo ziyaphumelela ziphele ngokuphelelwa lithemba.
Kukho indlela yesithathu yokomoya yokwenjenjalo"uqinisekile ukuba ukhululekile ukwenza oko ... kodwa kunokubangela ukubandezeleka kwaye ayikho inkululeko engundoqo kunye noxolo ... kunye nokuzaliseka". Kancinci ngokubandezeleka siye sazi ukuba yinyani kwaye sithatha iindlela zethu kuloo ndawo-hayi iinkanuko zethu. Asinakufumana okwaneleyo okungasonelisiyo… kusikhokelela ekubeni sibuyele kwinto eyenzayo. NguThixo. Kungenxa yoko le nto ndingalithandi igama elithi "musa" - liyenza mandundu ngokungongeza umdlalo wento engavumelekanga kwaye iingqondo zethu zikhiyeke kuloo nto. Umcimbi wokomoya awuyi kusombululwa engqondweni.
Igama Musa ungathi kufanele- ligama elisisidenge. Iyabutyeshela ubunyani bokuba ngumntu. Ngoba? Kuba SIZA kuhendeka ... kwaye SIQHUBEKE kwaye SIYAQHUBEKA ... kwaye SINEMIBono esenza ukuba sishukumise kwaye sithambekele kwaye silahlekise. Yamkela yonke loo nto. Guqula igama ungalithi “XA KUKWENZEKA”… KWAYE KUZA… ulinike umoya usebenzisa izixhobo ezingasentla… emva koko uthathe amanyathelo kuloo ndawo. Ngexesha ngalinye. Ngale ndlela uyawuhlonipha umzabalazo wobuntu nenyaniso yomoya.
Xa usenza ilamonade awulahli ilemon ekrakra (ingcinga yomntu), uyongeza nje iswekile kunye namanzi (ubukho) kwaye iyathandeka iphelele kwaye ilungelelene kwaye ilungile.
Links:
Hamba Uhambe Kwinqanaba LOMNTWANA
Hamba Uhambe Ngomntwana Ophelileyo INXALENYE YESIBINI
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