I-Porn Porn Inokunceda Ulwalamano, Kodwa Qhubeka Ngokulumkela. UAmanda Pasciucco LMFT, i-CST; Wendy Haggerty LMFT, CST (2016)

Amanqaku othando: I-Porn inokunceda ubudlelwane, kodwa Qhubeka ngononophelo

UTERESA M. PELHAM

Ingxaki ephambili ye-porn kukuba idala ukulindela okungenakwenzeka. Ke, kunye nezinye izinto.

Emuva xa iphonografi yayithetha ukufumana ikopi ye-Playboy kwivenkile elula kwisitrato, asizange sive kakhulu malunga nabantu abaneziyobisi ezingamanyala okanye i-porn-induced erectile dysfunction.

(Okomzuzwana, nceda ucinge ukuba imbali yokukhangela kwilaptop yam iya kujongeka njani xa ndigqiba ukubhala le kholamu. Ewe, kwafuneka ndijonge. I-take away? Imigca yesakhiwo yayiqikeleleke kakuhle, kunye nophuhliso lomlinganiswa. ushiye okuninzi okufunwayo.)

Kodwa namhlanje, inani elingenasiphelo leeklip zevidiyo zinokuvela kwikhompyuter yakho okanye kwi-smartphone ngokucofa iqhosha. Kwaye ngelixa ukufikelela lula yedwa kunokukhokelela kwezinye zezi ngxaki, iingcali zithi yimifanekiso yesondo ephezulu enokubangela ingxaki kwigumbi lokulala.

Iingcali zezesondo zinika ingxelo yokuba xa ababukeli bezivumela ukuba batye ukutya okune-wax, abonwabe kakhulu, banokuphoxeka xa benxibelelana nomntu ongengochwepheshe beze.

UAmanda Pasciucco, ingcaphephe yesini eWest Hartford uthi: “Kukho unxulumano phakathi kwamadoda abukela iphonografi nokungakwazi kwawo ukuvuseleleka ebantwini ebomini bokwenene. “Baye bangabi nazimvakalelo kwaye iqabane labo alikwazi kukhuphisana. Imizimba abayibonayo ayiyonyani. ”

Ndiyaqonda ukuba iphonografi yintelekelelo kwaye ayifanelanga kujongeka njengobudlelwane bothando obuqhelekileyo phakathi kwabantu ababini abakubudala obuphakathi abaneenwele ezingasemva kunye namalungu ajingayo. Kodwa xa ifantasy iyinto yonke umntu ayibonayo, kulula ukucinga ngengxaki ezayo,.

UPasciucco ucebisa izibini zeminyaka yonke, kwaye uthi indlela ebuyela kubudlelwane obuhle bezesondo kukudala iingcinga kunye.

Uthi: “Thetha ngento onokuyenza ukuze ubaphathele amaphupha abaye bawabona kulwalamano lwabo. "Yenza ingqondo yakho ibe nemihlali ngomntu onaye."

Ingqondo yakho? Bendicinga ukuba sithetha ngazo, umh amanye amalungu.

Kodwa izifundo zibonise ukuba kukho umahluko omkhulu kwindlela ingqondo esabela ngayo xa ujonga umfanekiso omileyo kunye nokubukela ividiyo. UPasciucco ucebisa iphonografi yeentsuku ezingama-90 ngokukhawuleza "ukusetha kwakhona inxalenye yengqondo."

Ngenxa yokufikelela lula kwe-porn, uphando olutsha luqikelela iminyaka yobudala apho amadoda amancinci aqala ukubukela i-porn ukuba abe neminyaka eyi-12 ubudala. (Kodwa hayi abantwana bakho, kwaye ngokuqinisekileyo ayingobam.)

UPasciucco uthi: “Xa abantu besebenzisa iphonografi njengemfundo yabo ngesini, oko kunokubangela iingxaki.

UWendy Haggerty, ingcali yezesondo eqinisekisiweyo eneofisi eGlastonbury, eGuilford naseWest Hartford, uthi kukho inkxalabo yokwenene malunga nokusetyenziswa kwephonografi ngabantu abaselula.

“Ukusetyenziswa ngokugqithisileyo kubonisiwe ukuba kukhokelela ekubeni umntu abe yedwa kunye neepatheni zokuziphatha ezinokuchaphazela kakubi amandla omntu okwenza nokugcina ubudlelwane obunempilo,” utshilo. “Imiba emalunga nokudityaniswa kothando kunye nokuncamathela ngesondo kunye nolonwabo inokungenelela. Umfanekiso womzimba kunye nemiba enxulumene nokusebenza nazo ziziphumo ezinokubakho. ”

Kodwa iphonografi ayiyonto imbi ngokwemitshato kunye nobudlelwane, utshilo uHaggerty.

“Ndicinga ngemizekelo emininzi emihle apho ndiye ndayibona inceda abantu kunye nolwalamano. Ndikhe ndabona nabanye abantu benezinyanzelo ezifuna ukulungiswa,” utshilo uHaggerty. “Ngokulungeleleneyo, iphonografi inokukhuthaza kwaye ivuselele. Ukusetyenziswa ngendlela eyiyo kwezinto ezivuselela inkanuko yesini kunokunceda ekuzithandeni kunye… nobudlelwane ngokwesondo. ”

Umfana kunye nam sagqiba kwelokuba sivavanye ithiyori yakhe, kwaye sabukela iphonografi ethambileyo kwi-Showtime. Ngaphandle kwamabele angenakwenzeka ukuba ajikeleze kwaye angenakushukunyiswa, ababukeli ababoniswa nawaphi na amalungu angasese kwaye abadlali ababandakanyekanga ngokwesondo. Siye saphazanyiswa ngumculo we-bow-chicka-wow-wow kwaye saphela kwingxoxo malunga nokuba iimvumi ezenza umculo weefilimu ze-porn zikhe zifumane inombolo yokuqala.

UHaggerty wanikela imizekelo engqalileyo yendlela iphonografi enokunceda ngayo.

"Umlingane onqwenelayo ophezulu unokufumanisa ukuba ukuzikholisa ngoncedo lwe-stimulus ebonakalayo kuyanelisa ngokufanelekileyo iimfuno zakhe kwaye kuthatha uxinzelelo kumlingane ophantsi womnqweno wokuthatha inxaxheba," kusho uHaggerty. "Ukongezelela, iqabane eliphantsi lomnqweno linokukhetha ukusebenzisa iphonografi njengendlela yokuvuselela ubulili bakhe kunye nokufumaneka ngakumbi kubudlelwane obusondeleyo."

Ke, ngaphandle kobume obungathandekiyo kuninzi lwamanyala, kunye nemiba yokulutha, kunye nezinto ezimbi enokuthi izenze kubudlelwane, kunye nendlela eye yadala ngayo yonke isizukulwana sabantu abachitha imali eninzi kwi-waxing yomzimba, iphonografi inokwenzeka. ibe lulongezo olulungileyo kubudlelwane (kungekhona nje kwabo baphazanyiswa lula kukwenza okubi, kunye nomculo ophakathi).

UTeresa M. Pelham ngumbhali weencwadi zabantwana “Roxy’s Forever Home.” Ngakumbi: www.roxysforeverhome.com.