Qaphela ukuba ingqondo igxininisekile
Ngaba ulilinganisela ixabiso lobudlelwane bakho kunye nokuba uhlala usabelana ngesondo rhoqo kangakanani? Ngaba iqabane lakho liqala ukusabela kuyo yonke into oyenzayo xa ufuna ukubonisa ukuba uyayithanda?
Ukuba kunjalo, unokuba yintsholongwane yobuchopho bokuqala obuthembisa ukwaneliseka-kodwa ukhulula okuchaseneyo. Ingakwazi ukubeka imibhangqwana ngaphandle kokuvumelanisa ngesondo. (Oku kwenzeka ngokukodwa emva kokukhangela kwesikhokelo sakho sesikhathi esisodwa i-honeymoon neurochemistry igugile.)
Masithi wenza umdlalo ophembelelayo wesini okanye uzame ishushu, indlela entsha yokubonisa kwangaphambili. Wena ngokufutshane ukuzuza ezinye ichiza-ezifana buzz olwenze romance yenu, akunjalo? Kodwa nantsi into embi: ukhuthazo olukhulu lubonakala ngathi lunamandla okubangela utshintsho olushiyekileyo olunokushiya ubuchopho bezilwanyana ezinjengezethu abangenelisekanga kungekudala emva koko.
Njani? Ngexeshana kunciphisa impendulo yokuzonwabisa yesekethe yomvuzo wokuqala kwengqondo. Kulabo bachaphazelekayo, oko kunyukayo kufuneka kwehle-kwaye kungabuyeli kwisiseko okwethutyana. Nzulu kwingqondo, ngokungathi kunjalo izikali zithatha de iphosakele ingqondo.
Kuninzi okusamele kufundwe, kodwa kujongeka ngathi linani leminyhadala yesekethe ejikelezayo emva kovuthondaba olunokubanokuthi lusenze singabinamdla wokuzikhathaza (singekonwabisi ukuya kuthi ga kwinqanaba) okwexeshana. Okokuqala, ii-androgen receptors ukuncipha emva kokunyuka, kwaye uthathe iintsuku ezisixhenxe ukulungelelanisa. (Oko kuthetha ukuba umphumo we testosterone kumasekethe okufumana umvuzo mhlawumbi udibaniswe ngethuba elithile, mhlawumbi unokuba nefuthe ngombono.) Ukongeza, i-opioids kukhutshwa ngexesha lokuqhubana ukuxhoma ixesha elifutshane, ngokubonakalayo kubangele iyanciphisa i-oxytocin, ephazamisa ukuphendula ngesondo. Njengoko kuphawuliwe ngasentla, kukho nakhona ukuhla ukuphendula kwi-neurochemical ezibalulekileyo ukuze sibe nengqondo yokuphila kakuhle: dopamine. Enyanisweni, ingqondo ishintshile. Ngoku ifuna ukuvuselela okungakumbi ukufumana impendulo efanayo kwangexesha elide, kwaye ngamanye amaxesha akukho nto yokuvuselela iya kukwanelisa ide ibuyele ekulinganiseni.
Naluphi na iindlela ezichanekileyo, nayiphi na isinciphiso kwimpendulo yolonwabo yengqondo iindaba ezimbi kubathandi. Enye into, kungeyena wonke umntu ofumana ukubuyiswa kwi-wallop yama-neurochemicals ngokuchanekileyo ngendlela efanayo-ngenxa yokungafani kofuzo kunye nesini, ukuxhwaleka komntwana okanye nemikhwa yabo.
Abanye bethu abangeke banomdla kwizocansi kwada kubakho ubuchopho bethu babuyela ekuveleleni kwabo kwendalo kunye ne-orgasm kuphinda kubonakale njengengcamango enkulu. Kwabanye bethu, nangona kunjalo, ukulahla kwe-neurochemical (okanye i-receptor) yexeshana kungasenza sizive ngathi siphumelele isithako esibalulekileyo sokonwaba. Siyiyo: ubuchule bethu obuhle kwizinto ezizonwabisa.
Isiphumo esichukumisayo sisishukumisela ukuba sifune ukufumana uncedo ngoku (xa kukho ukungathandeki). Ngenxa yoku "kurhoxa okuncinci," sinokuziva sinexhala kwaye sikude ngokweemvakalelo-kwaye sifuna ukunciphisa uxinzelelo lwethu nenye i-orgasm ngokukhawuleza. Okanye mhlawumbi sidinga ngaphezu kwesiqhelo, sinqwenela ubungqina obongezelelekileyo bothando lwamaqabane ethu-ngokwemigaqo yethu. Iindlela ezinje ngezi yimizamo yokukhuthaza iimvakalelo zokuphila kakuhle kumjikelo wesekethe onobuvila ngoku.
Ngelishwa, ngaphandle kokuba nobabini ninokukhetha "meds" efanayo kukungonwabi kwenu, kwishedyuli enye, Ubomi bakho bothando bunokuphuma ngaphandle kokuvumelanisa. Ukuba iqabane lakho liyala ukwala kwakho, kunokubonakala ngathi iqabane lakho alikhathali ngokwaneleyo ukuba likuncede. Okanye kwiqabane lakho kunokubonakala ngathi eyona nto uyikhathaleleyo "kukufumana." Ngoku, unokubona okona kubi komnye nomnye, kwaye, mhlawumbi, ukuthandabuza ukuzinikela komnye nomnye-konke kungenxa yokuba imijikelezo yakho engenangqondo, yokuqala yokunika umvuzo ikunika iimpembelelo ezifanayo ngokungagqibekanga njengoko iingqondo zakho zibuyela kulungelelwaniso. Qhubeka.
Kule mihla, unokucetyiswa ukuba ube ngumthandi ongcono wokuzama ukufudumeza iqabane lakho "elingalivaliyo okwangoku" nge-spicier foreplay, ukucinga ngexesha lokwabelana ngesondo, ukwenza izinto ezinqabileyo, ukubukela iphonografi kunye, iziyobisi ezonyusa isondo, okanye ukutshintshiselana amaqabane ngokuhlwa. Enye indoda yathi,
Ndandisoloko ndicinga ukuba ukuba unokonwaba kakhulu ngokwesini, oko kukuthi, sinomdla ongaphezulu, siza kulala ngesondo kwaye iimfuno zam ziya kuyaneliseka. Ngoko, ndandisoloko ndizama ukumbamba kakuhle. Endaweni yoko waphuma ekamelweni lethu lokulala.
Ngamafutshane, ingqiqo ingabangela Ngaphantsi ukwaneliseka jikelele. Inokude inciphise amathuba akho okwoneliseka kwexesha elide kunye nolwalamano lwakho lwangoku. Nasi isizathu:
Amaqhinga “okufudumeza” avuna iziphumo zexesha elifutshane- kunye neendleko ezifihliweyo.
Ukuvuselela okukhulu kunokuvelisa i-orgasms ngokukhawuleza kodwa kunokunyanzelisa ingqondo, ngoko-ke le ndlela ithetha ukwandisa uxinzelelo kwiintsuku ezilandelayo. Khumbula, ingqondo evuselelwe ngaphezu kwayo inani ngengqondo. Kwaye enye ingqondo enomyinge ilukhuni ngakumbi ukwaneliseka ixesha elide. Enyanisweni, ukuvuselela okungapheliyo UCanzibe Guqula ingqondo yakho ibe ngumngxunya omnyama we-neurochemical ofuna ngokungxamisekileyo ii-jollies ezingakumbi. Kwangelo xesha, iqabane lakho elisachachayo lisenokuziva linesidingo esikhulu sothando oluthambileyo… kuphela, okanye umgama weemvakalelo.
Nangona kubonakala ngathi bubuhlungu, ukuxoxisana nomgangatho ophakathi akunakunceda. Ungadinga ixesha ukubuyisela ingqondo yakho (s) kwisisindo esifanelekileyo. Vumela i-nature ukuba ithathe ikhosi. Okwangoku, khetha izinto ezithuthuzelayo ngaphandle kokuqhubela phambili: ukusebenzisana, ukusebenzisana nobungane, ukucamngca, ixesha kwendalo, inkonzo kwabanye, njalonjalo. Ukuba kunokwenzeka, qabane lakho iqabane unomusa ongekho ngaphambili; kuya kukunceda ukubuyisela kwi-tune.
Ukuxhatshazwa kwezenzo kwenza ukuba ukungathembeki kukwanelisekile.
I-Novelty inikezela ngokukhawuleza kwe-dopamine-kunye ne-roman iqabane elingahle likwazi ukulingana ngesini esinye sezihlobo ezinomdla kakhulu. Loo mlingane, loo mntu kwi-chat room yokuxoxa, okanye le nkwenkwezi yoononongo yonke ibonakala bhetele xa ingqondo yakho iyinombolo. Kwaye ngekhe ube nalo uluvo lokuba yonke into oyifunayo ngokwenene kukulungiswa kwe-dopamine. (Eyethu zendalo sebenzisa le ndlela ukuphucula amathuba abo okuhamba ngekamva.)
Umtsalane wenoveli yengqondo engafunekiyo yingxaki ngakumbi namhlanje. Sijikelezwe luhlu olungenakupheliswa lokulukuhla, ukuba uhlala usenziwa, isenzo sesondo. Xa sigcina "ukunyanga" ukungonwabi kwethu ngokubuyisela ngokuvuselela okukhulu, iingqondo zethu azikwazi ukubuyela kumgangatho. Esinye isiphumo kukuba ingca ihlala ikhona libukeka luhlaza phandle ulwalamano.
Ukuphendula ukuphendula ngengqondo kungaphazamisa ukudibana phakathi kwabalingani.
Uthando lwemihla ngemihla ludla ngokuthuthuzela kwaye lunomvuzo kubabini ababophelelayo njengathi-nokuba asifikanga kuvuthondaba. (Nditsho neebhonobo chimps eziqhelekileyo sukuvuthwa sihlandlo ngasinye bayifumana.)
Kodwa kwenzeka ntoni xa singakwazi ukuziva uyolo olufihlakeleyo ngenxa yethutyana lokuphazamiseka kwengqondo? Ingcinga yothando nje ayibangeli mdla. Inokude ibhalise njengengavumelekanga. Endaweni yokuthantamisa, sinokufuna ixesha lomqolomba. Okanye mhlawumbi sifuna ukuba rougher, okanye ukoyikeka ngakumbi, ngesondo-oko kuyonwabisa kwaye kukhulula uxinzelelo, kodwa kuqhubela phambili ingxaki yokungafuneki.
Abanye bethu ngokwendalo bazama ukulinganisa ii-libidos ezingaphandle kokuvumelanisa ngokuguqukela kuncedo olunamandla lokwabelana ngesondo kunye nokuphulula amaphambili. Ngelishwa, ii-vibrators zanamhlanje kunye neevidiyo ezingamanyala ze-porn zenza imisebenzi yazo ngamandla kangangokuba zinako ngakumbi Top ukukhuthaza ngaphezulu kunye nokubuyisa impendulo yovuyo yengqondo. Emva kwexesha, ingcinga yesondo eqhelekileyo kunye neqabane eliqhelekileyo ayinakuphinda ibekho amandla ophakamileyo ukudibanisa.
Kwenziwe ntoni?
Izifiso ezinzulu zobulili zixinzeleleka, kodwa abathandana abanothando banokuxhatshazwa ngendlela engcono ngayo yokuthuthuzela umntu onomdla ongenakunqwenelekayo. Ezinye izibini zincenga, zitshitshisa kwaye zenze intloko. Abanye baxoxisana nobusuku bobusuku kunye neentlobano zesini. Abanye bathatha imisebenzi kwiidolophu ezahlukahlukeneyo okanye imisebenzi efuna ezininzi iindlela zokuhamba, ngoko ubuchopho babo bunethuba lokubuyela ngokulinganisela. Omnye umntu wathi,
Ndakhe ndasebenza kwindawo ekude yokubhabha ngenqwelo moya, iiveki ezimbini ukuya, iiveki ezimbini zokuphumla. Ngenxa yoko, mna nomfazi wam sasonwabela obona bomi bumnandi besini emtshatweni wethu. Ukwamkelwa ekhaya ibingumzuzu wokuba kulondolozwe, ngakumbi nangaliphi na ixesha xa ndibamba inqwelomoya eyandigodusa phambi kokuba abantwana bafike ekhaya. Kodwa sikwafumana umzuzu wokuhamba. Njengoko watshoyo, "Ndiyathanda xa ufika ekhaya, kwaye ndiyathanda xa uhamba."
Ngokucacileyo, isiqalekiso sokuvuselelwa ngokwesondo esikhokelela (okwethutyana) ekunciphiseni ukuphendula kunye nokungoneliseki ayisiyongxaki entsha. Kwiminyaka engamawaka amabini eyadlulayo, imbongi engumRoma uOvid yacebisa ngolu thando lokuthandabuza: “Yonwabele intombazana yakho ngokukuyeka ngokupheleleyo, ubusuku nemini — kwaye ukwenyanya kuya kuphelisa isifo sakho.” Kungenxa yeso sizathu ukuba izilumko kwihlabathi liphela ziphuhlise iindlela zokulawula isondo ukugcina abathandi belingene kunye noncedo ukugcina ukuvumelana kwemibutho yabo. Ukwabelana ngesondo, umzekelo, umisela malunga neveki ezimbini ngenyanga ngeemibhede ezahlukileyo.
Khumbula, ukungakhathali kweqabane lakho (okanye ingqondo-nye) akunakuba ngaphezulu kokulala kweeseli zemithambo-luvo ezibangelwa yinto entle kakhulu. Ukuba kunjalo, ii-libidos zakho ezingaphandle kokuvumelanisa ayizompazamo nakubani na. Zama ukulungisa umceli mngeni apho uvela khona. Vumela ingqondo yakho ukuba ibuyele kuvakalelo lwayo olufanelekileyo. Jonga ukuba ibhalansi enkulu yenza uyolo olufihlakeleyo lube mnandi-kwaye ngokongeza, wena neqabane lakho nijongeka kulungile kubanye ngabanye.
___
* Uvavanyo olutshanje, baphandi bathi ukuba ngezinye izilwanyana enye okanye ezimbini zeesibini okanye zivavanywe njalo akazange bonisa le mpembelelo (i-D2 receptors).
UPDATES
- Ukuxilongwa ngokusemthethweni? Incwadi yokusetyenziswa kwezifo zonyango ngokubanzi, Ulwahlulo lwaMazwe ngamazwe (ICD-11), iqulethe uvavanyo olutsha ezifanele ukuxhatshazwa koonwabo: "Ukuxhatshazwa kwezesondo ngokunyanisekileyo. "(2018)
- Umlingo woTywala / wesondo? Eli phepha liluhlu Izifundo ze-39 ze-neuroscience (I-MRI, i-FMRI, i-EEG, i-neuropsychological, i-hormonal). Banikela ngenkxaso enamandla kwimodeli yoxilongo njengoko iziphumo zabo zibonakalisa iziphumo zeengqondo ezichazwe kwizifundo zokuxhatshaliswa kweziyobisi.
- Iingcamango zangempela zeengcali zoononongo / isondo? Olu luhlu luqulethe 16 Ukuphononongwa koncwadi kwangoku kunye neenkcazo ngenye yezinzulu zenzululwazi kwihlabathi. Yonke inkxaso ngenkxaso yomzobo.
- Iimpawu zokuxhatshazwa kunye nokunyuka kwamanqaku angaphezulu? Ngaphezulu kwezifundo ze-30 zokunika ingxelo ezifunyenweyo ezihambelana nokwanda kokusetyenziswa kwe-porn (ukunyamezelana), ukuhlala kwi-porn, kunye neempawu zokurhoxa (zonke iimpawu kunye neempawu ezinxulumene nomlutha).
- Ukuxubusha ingongoma engathethiweyo yokuthetha "inqweno yesini ephakamileyo" ichaza ukuxhatshazwa koonobumba okanye ukuxhatshazwa ngokwesini: Ubuncinci izifundo ze-25 zikhohlisa ibango lokuba isini kunye neziyobisi ezingamanyala "banomnqweno ophezulu wesondo"
- Iiduna kunye neengxaki zesondo? Olu luhlu luqukethe izifundo ze-26 ezidibanisa ukusetyenziswa koonwabo / ukuxhatshazwa koononophelo kwiingxaki zesini kunye nokwenyuka kokunciphisa isisombululo sezesondo. I fIzifundo ze-5 ziluhlu lubonisa bangela, njengabathathi-nxaxheba baqhelise ukusetyenziswa koononophelo kunye nokuphulukisa izifo ezingasinikiyo zesondo.
- Imiphumo yeSigxina kwimibutho? Izifundo eziphantse ze-60 zidibanisa ukusetyenziswa koononophelo ukuya kwisini esincinci kunye nolwaneliseko lobuhlobo. (Ngokuba sifuna zonke Izifundo ezibandakanya abesilisa ziye zaxela ukusetyenziswa koononophelo olunxulumene nalo zihlwempu zesini okanye ukwaneliseka kobudlelwane.)
- Ukukhula kobungqina benzululwazi yomjikelezo we post-orgasm (uphando)
- Uphononongo malunga nokulala phakathi kwezesondo kunye neziyobisi kwiingqondo
;
