Ziziphi iimpawu othumela ngayo lakho iqabane?
Ukubetha ngotolo lukaCupid! Kuvakala kumnandi kangangokuba unokufuna isibophelelo esisigxina, uqinisekile ukuba inkanuko iya kukugcina nobabini nigubha kunye nolonwabo ebomini. Okwangoku uCupid uyisidenge esikhohlisayo, okanye endaweni yoko i-ajenda yebhayoloji ayenzileyo, ayinyusi uthando oluhlala luhleli.
Ingqayi ye-Cupid kodwa yeyokuqala kuthotho lweempembelelo ze-neurochemical kwinxalenye yokuqala yengqondo yakho eyaziwa ngokuba yinkqubo yemilenze. Inkqubo yakho ye-limbic inamandla amakhulu, kwaye inentambo efanelekileyo, kangangokuba ngamanye amaxesha iyoyisa ngokupheleleyo ingqondo yakho esengqiqweni. Thatha i-ajenda yayo yokutshatisa, umzekelo. Injongo yalo kukukukhuthaza ukuba (1) uthandane neziqhushumbisi zomlilo eziqhubela isidoda kwiqanda, (2) iqhina elide ngokwaneleyo ukuba lithandane nabaphi na abantwana ukuze babanonophele, (3) badikwe liqabane lakho , kwaye (4) uqalise ukukhangela macala onke ukhangela entsha. Ngamafutshane, oko kukutyhala ukuba uzenze isidenge-nokuba uyenza okanye awuyenzi. Oku kuphucula iintlobo zemfuzo zenzala, kwaye ngokukhona kukwahluka, okungcono amathuba okuza ngomkhumbi aye kwixesha elizayo. Unobunzima, kodwa uyasebenza.
Kuthekani ukuba ufuna ukuphuma ngaphandle kweCapeid kunye Kuhlala kubudlelwane bexesha elide ngokuvisisana? Emva kwayo yonke loo nto, ukwaneliseka kwendoda nomfazi yedwa ayisiyombono imbi, inikezwe ukuba ubudlelwane obusondeleyo, obuthembekileyo bukhusela impilo yengqondo kunye nomzimba kwaye abagcini babini baphucula amathuba okuba baphile kakuhle abantwana. Umzi omnye ukwabiza ixabiso eliphantsi ukukugcina kunokubini, kwaye ukuzihenda ngokwakho kunokubiza.
Ungathetha njani neCupid? Oko kukuthi, ungayilawula njani indawo yokuqala yengqondo yakho kwicala leziphumo ozifunayo? Ingxaki, kuba lo mmandla wamandulo wobuchopho wandulela ubuchopho bomntu (i-neo-cortex) yezigidi zeminyaka. Ayisebenzi kwilogic. Kungenxa yoko le nto ungenakho ukusebenzisa amandla ukuzinyanzela ukuba uthandane okanye uhlale eluthandweni.
Inkqubo yakho yesigxina isebenza kwi-subconscious iziboniso, oko kukuthi, iimpawu ezithumela izibonakaliso ezigqithiseleyo ubuchopho bakho obuqilileyo kwaye zenze izimpendulo ezizenzekelayo. Ngokuqonda ukuba zeziphi iipedals zokutshiza, unokubangela ukuba ubenomdla ngokugqithiseleyo kunye neengxabano ezingaphantsi.
Ukuziphatha okuhambisa ezona zibonakaliso zinamandla kakhulu kulwalamano lwakho olusenyongweni kunokukumangalisa. Umzekelo, ukutshatisa frenzy (isini eshushu, uninzi lwe-orgasms) esikhokelela kwisati sokwabelana ngesondo (ukuba "ndigqibile!" Ukuziva) kudlala kanye kwisicwangciso sikaCupid. Ukwehla kwedopamine (emva kokudubula okumnandi kwe-neurasm ye-orgasm) kuxela inkqubo yakho yomzimba, "Umsebenzi wokuchumisa wenziwe apha; ixesha lokufumana eli qabane lingathatheki kwaye liphendule nakowuphi umntu onomdla kwiqabane lakhe. ” Izazinzulu ziyayazi le nto njenge Impembelelo yeCoolidge. Amaphesenti anesithoba anesibhozo azo zonke izilwanyana ezincelisayo zisebenza uthando lwabo ngokupheleleyo kulo mqondiso.
Njengesilwanyana esincancisayo esinqamlezileyo, usenokucotha ukuqaphela ukuba le "pedal" yokukhwela ithanda ukutyhala abathandi. Kungenxa yokuba unezinye iinkqubo ezimbini kwinkqubo yakho yemilenze, echaphazela ezothando. Ngokwamanqanaba awahlukeneyo ezi nkqubo zigubungela isiseko sakho "phuma, uphume, uye ekhaya" kwinkqubo yokuncancisa izilwanyana.
Iyokuqala i-cocktail ye-honeymoon. Abathandi abatsha bathanda ukuvelisa okomzuzwana okonyusayo i-neurochemistry. Le cocktail yentloko (yokwanda kokukhula kwemithambo-luvo, i-dopamine, i-norepinephrine, i-serotonin esezantsi, kunye nohlengahlengiso kumanqanaba e-testosterone) ivelisa ukuthatheka kunye nokutyeba. Okwethutyana, yenza umyalezo "wokuqhubeka" nokuba ujongene nesini kunye nokutshintsha kwemozulu okuhlala kufunyanwa ngabathandi abatsha. (Okungakumbi kolu phakamileyo kunye nokuhla kwinqanaba elizayo.)
Hayi, ukucinga ukuba i-honeymoon yakho ye-neurochemistry ikhatyathele kuyo yonke into, uphando lubonisa ukuba luyakuthi lugqoke kwiminyaka emibini. Njengoko igqithisa, ingqiqo yakho yomnye nomnye ingatshintshana ixesha elithile emva kwe-orgasm. Omnye umyeni wafumana le ngxaki ngale ndlela:
Singabelana ngesondo imizuzu elishumi elinesihlanu. Emva koko bendiya kukrokra kangangeveki. Emva koko ndiya kuba mnandi njengobusi njengoko ndaphinda ndaza.
Nalu ke utshintsho olwenziwa kwiforum eyaziwayo:
Indoda: Umfazi wam ujika abe yinto enkulu maxa wambi ngentsasa emva kobusuku besini esikhulu. Ndithetha ii-orgasms ezininzi kunye neseshoni yeeyure ezingama-2-3. Ngentsasa elandelayo ndingumchasi-Kristu!
Umfazi: Oku kuyenzeka nakum! Ndivuka ekuseni emva kobusuku obukhulu kunye nomyeni wam othandekayo kwaye ndiziva ngathi ndingu-bitch ovela esihogweni ngamanye amaxesha. . . uyacaphuka kwaye unomsindo. Ngokwesiqhelo ndinguhlobo lwegal. Izinto zivakalelwa ngcono xa ii-orgasms zisasazeke ngakumbi. Ndizibonele ngokwam ukwehla okukhulu ekutsaleni kwam kunye neemvakalelo ezifudumeleyo kumlingane wam xa u "O" ehlala ethe rhoqo, rhoqo.
Ukutshintsha kweemvakalelo ezinje ngezi, nkqu nakwiimo ezinobuzaza (ungasathethi ke ngoko kuqikelelweyo abakukhuthazayo), kunokucima ukuqaqamba kubudlelwane, kwenza omabini amaqabane azibuze ukuba angangcono na nomntu omtsha. Ewe kunjalo, uninzi lwethu aluqondi ukuba utshintsho olufihlakeleyo kwi-neurochemistry yethu luyasiphembelela, ngenxa yoko sithambekele ekuhleleni iimvakalelo zethu ngokukhomba kwiimpazamo esizibonayo komnye nomnye.
Iindaba ezimnandi zezokuba abantu banenye inkqubo enokuthi yehle ivolumu yenkqubo yethu "yokuqhubela phambili". Nangona kunjalo, yethu ukudibana "I-pedal" isebenza kuphela xa sihambisa ii-cescious cue ezichanekileyo rhoqo.
The iziphathamandla ezibonisa uphawu lweCapeid ukugcina sibophelelwe zizinto ezifana nokunxibelelana kolusu nolusu, ukujongana emehlweni, ukuncamisana ngemilebe nolwimi, izandi ezingenamagama zokwaneliseka kunye nolonwabo, ukubetha ngenjongo yokuthuthuzela, ukuchukumisa kunye nokufunxa iingono / amabele, ukucheba okanye ukuwolana ukuthula, ukubeka isandla esizolisayo kumalungu esini esithandanayo, ukuba neentlobano zesini ngobunono, njalo njalo.
Ezi ndlela zokuziphatha zithetha ngokuthe ngqo kwinxalenye yengqondo yethu enokuthi iwele eluthandweni, okanye ihlale eluthandweni. Bazisa umyalezo ongaqondakaliyo othi “Yomeleza olu qhina lomphefumlo.” Ngesiqhelo, ezi zikhokelo ziyasebenza kuba zithathelwe kwimammalia esisiseko ukuziphatha kwabantwana abanamanyathelo okunyamekela abantwana okwasenza sithandane nabazali bethu, kwaye okokuvumela ukuba sithande abantwana bethu. Ngokuqinisekileyo, iziqendu zibukeka zihluke phakathi kwabathandani kunokuba zenze phakathi kweentsana kunye nabanonophelo, kodwa zonke zihambelana nokuthintana nokuxhamla.
Kubalulekile ukuba uqaphele ukuba iindlela zokudibanisa zibonisa kuphela inkqubo ye-limbic ngokufanelekileyo xa zisenzeka phantse mihla le. Nangona umzuzu okanye ezimbini unokwenza lo msebenzi, kodwa ukuziphatha okubambisanayo kusebenza kangangoko ukuba izibini zizisebenzisa nje kuphela, okanye zixhomekeke ekufikeleleni kwiinkqubela.
Iziphathamandla zokuziphatha azifani nokokuqala. Bona ziqabule Iinkqubo zeemvakalelo zabathandi (ngakumbi i-amygdala). Ngokwahlukileyo, umdlalo wangaphambili wenzelwe ukuvelisa uxinzelelo ngokwesondo. I-Foreplay ijolise kwinjongo; Ukuziphatha okungahambelaniyo akunjalo. (Okunomdla, ukuba neentlobano zesini ngokungathandabuzekiyo kunokuba yinto yokuziphatha encomekayo. Iinkcubeko ezahlukeneyo kwimbali ziye zakhubeka kule ndlela bayinika amagama ahlukeneyo. Ngakumbi kwizithuba ezizayo.)
Ngoko, uthetha njani kwiCapeid? Sebenzisa ingqondo yakho engqiqweni ukunyathela iipedals akho ukhethe ukuhambisa imiqondiso ethile ngqo kwingxenye yokuqala yengqondo yakho. Ngaloo ndlela unako ukuhamba kuzo zonke iziphumo ozifunayo kwi-romance yakho. Ukuba ufuna ubuhlobo besikhathi eside, gxininisa kwimihla ngemihla, ukuziphatha okuqabulayo (kubandakanya ukuziphatha okubi), kwaye ukuyeka ukukhupha umnqweno wakho wesondo. Ngakolunye uhlangothi, ukuba uthanda inzuzo kwimpilo yakho yothando, phishekela ukuxhatshazwa ngokwesondo ngokugqithiseleyo, ngokugqithiseleyo.
[Malunga nemifanekiso kweli nqaku: Umxholo owawuthandwa kakhulu ngabapeyinti bakudala yayinguAphrodite (Uthando) ovuselela iimvakalelo zikaEros.]
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