Xa kukulawula kunokuba ulawule
Nge-14 kaDisemba ngo-2012 nguRobert Taibbi, uLCSW
I-Porn ibe yinkinga ebanzi kwaye iyanda kakhulu. Ingqikelelo ye-20-30 yezigidi zaseMerika (ngokuqhelekileyo amadoda) zijonga iifosora imihla ngemihla. Ukuzaliswa koononophala kubangela ukuba abantu abadala (ewe, amadoda kwakhona) badinga i-Viagra ukujongana nokungasebenzi kwe-erectile ngenxa yeenguqu zengqondo. Ukuphazamiseka ngakumbi kunempembelelo kubantwana (abanye njengabancinci njenge-10) ababukela i-porn kunye nokudala utshintsho olukhulu kwiibongo zabo ngenxa yobudala babo nangenxa yokuba i-pornos ifika ngaphambi kokuba ibe nolwalamano olusekelwe kumntu omnye.
Ekugqibeleni zikhona izilingo zokulahlwa kwezilonda ezingaphazamisi nje kuphela ulwabelana ngesondo ngobudlelwane obubini kodwa ngokucacileyo iimeko zengqondo. Kwaye njengotywala okanye iziyobisi, kukho umgca olungileyo apha phakathi kokuxhomekeka nokulutha.
Ukuxhomekeka kwintembeko, ukukhanga - ukukhangela ikhabhinethi yotywala ukuqinisekisa ukuba awuyi kupheliswa ngoLwesine okanye ujonge phambili kwi-4 ntambama kwi-cocktail yokuhlwa. Ngokuxhatshazwa kwesi sidakamizwa ngumphathi wakho. Uyakhela ngeenxa zonke, awukwazi ukuyilawula, ukunqumla akuyena ukhetho, nokuba umcamango wokwenza ngaphandle ungabangela ukwethuka.
Iimbonkqo ibonga kakhulu kwi-intanethi. Njengoko i-heroin umlutha okanye ukunyamezela komnxila kuyenyuka, kunjalo nakwabo abanokutsaliswa koonwabo. Ngokwemva okanye ngelanga kukho iintlobo ezahlukeneyo zeentlobo kunye neziza, ukulungele ukuzalisa nayiphi na inqanaba elitsha oyifunayo - ngokwenene awuzange uphume.
Kwaye ekugqibeleni sinako yioxytocin. Yilokho iikliniki zokuxhatshazwa kwabafana. I-Oxytocin yikhemikhali esinceda entsha abazali ubambano kwiintsana zabo, kubangela izibini ezithandanayo ukuba zibophelelane. Ngaliphi na umhla owenziwe umgangatho we-oxytocin wesifazane unokuba lukhulu kangangeeyure ezili-10 ngaphezu kwelo ndoda. Ngaloo nto ayithathi ininzi (ngokungazelelwe ihlambe izitya, ivelise iintyatyambo) ukuba iziva ixhunyiwe. Yintoni eyenza i-oxytocin yamadoda? Uqikelele - isini, ngokukodwa i-orgasm. Njengoko abantu bebukela iifoto zoononophelo bavame ukuba neengqungquthela (kubonga kwisibuko se-neurons kunye ne-interactive indalo yeendawo ezingamanyala) ezonyusa i-oxytocin yabo kwaye emva koko bazibophelela kwi-porn. (Isishwankathelo esihle se-porn kunye nengqondo jonga i-Oct '12 yezeMpilo yamadoda)
Ngelixa zonke ezi zinto ziza kuqhubeka, kukho nxalenye yengqondo. Nje ngezinye iingxaki, i-porn isisombululo esibi kwezinye iingxaki. Ziziphi iingxaki? Abanye ba krokrela:
istres. Xa uxinzelelo lugqithisa iibhanki zalo, kulula ukufudukela kwimimandla engavumelekanga ukuba singayihoywa kwi-saner, iiyure zomini. Uxinzelelo lwethu lukhuseleko lwethu lwendalo. Kwabanye ngecalaphini, abanye baphuze okanye badityanise, okanye bathenge nge-intanethi ngezihlangu. Khetha utyhefu.
Ukuhlawula. Ubuninzi buvame ukuvela kwimithombo ye-2 - ukuzaliswa kobomi bakho nge "ezininzi iifanele" kunokuba ufuna, kunye nokungahambi. Ngeemfuno ndithetha ukwenza oko ufanele uyenze kunokuba ufune ukusithatha umphefumlo wakho. Ukuba uhamba ngesingqungquthela se-Hamburgers kwi-McD, mhlawumbi kufuneka - umsebenzi, kungekhona umonde wakho - kwaye unokukhawuleza ukuphazamiseka. Unokuba ungakhathazeki kangako xa kukho ukukhuthaza - osebenza naye ukuthetha naye ngeveki yakhe okanye umsebenzi wabantu abakujikelezile ngexesha lokutya kwemini. Thatha kumntu osebenza naye okanye ngokukhawuleza kwemini kwaye uya kutyhafisa. I-Porn inikeza ukuvuselela okuninzi xa uziva ungenelisekanga kwaye ungenakulinganiswa.
Intukuthelo. Intukuthelo ixubusha kakuhle kunye namayeza. Ukuba wenza into omele uyenze ngayo kuba umntu (okanye elo lizwi elibalulekileyo entloko yakho) uthi, kulula ukucaphuka ukuze ekugqibeleni wakhiwe. Xa ikhula ngokwaneleyo, ukutyekela kukuthatha isenzo ngenxa yokuba ufanelwe. Ngoko udibanisa kwi-intanethi emsebenzini wakho kwi-4 ntambama ngenxa yokuba ukhathele ngokomzimba kwaye ukhathele ngokwemvakalelo yento oyenzile yonke imini. Udibanisa nge-intanethi kwi-11 pm ngenxa yokuba uvakalelwa kukuba umfazi wakho ukugubungela ukususela ekubeni ufike ekhaya, kwaye uzive ufanelekile, kuba kukunye indlela engathandekiyo, ukubuyela kuye (nangona konke oku kusemqondweni wakho kwaye awazi ukuba ucinga ntoni).
Ngesondo. Okanye ukungabi nako. Unokucinga ukuba oku kufuneka ukuba kube phezulu kwoluhlu, kodwa kaninzi akakho. Kodwa kuyacaca ukuba kukho. Ukuba uziva unqatshelwe ngokwesondo, unqanyuliwe, unxilongo ngesini, i-intanethi ye-intanethi ibonakala ngathi isisombululo esikhulu - ngokusondele kwinyani njengoko unokufumana ngaphandle kwenyaniso.
Ingxaki kwakhona nayiphi na le nto ingaba yintambo kwaye emva kokuba uxhomekeke kwi-porno ukuba ujongane nayo, ufumana ingxube, isifo sezobuchopho sithatha, kwaye usendleleni yokufumana umlutha.
Indlela yokuphuma? Njengazo ezininzi zokuziphatha eziluthayo kufuneka uzilungiselele iziganeko ze-2 kanyekanye. Ukuziphatha kufuneka udle umzekelo. Yintoni ekhuthazwayo kulabo abaphuhlisa ii-ED ayininzi i-Viagra kodwa i-cold turkey - ukuziyeka - ayikho noonopopayi, akukho masturbating (kuba kulula ukuyifumana i-Intanethi ngcamango ngelixa i-masturbating) kwiinyanga ze-6 okanye ixesha elide (unokufumana iwebhsayithi apho abantu bazimisele ukuthetha ngale nto) ukunceda ukuphucula umjikelo nokuphinde ulawulwe ingqondo yakho.
Enye into kukulungisa ingxaki esisiseko. Ukuba imalunga nokwenza into ekufuneka uyenzile kodwa ingeyiyo le uyifunayo, fumana iindlela zokwandisa iimfuno zakho ebomini bakho. Ukuba malunga nokukhuthaza, fumana ezinye iivenkile zokucima ukuba i-4 pm urhuqe kwaye uhambe ushiye ikhompyuter yakho. Ukuba uxinzelelo, ditto. Ukuba inzondo kwabanye - umphathi wakho, iqabane lakho - zama ukuqonda ukuba ufuna ukuba batshintshe ntoni kwaye bathethe phezulu-badinga izabelo ezinzima, bafuna ixesha lokudideka xa ufika ekhaya. Ukuba imalunga nesondo, yenza okufanayo-fumana ukuba ufuna ntoni kwaye uthethe.
Awunyanzelekanga ukuba uyenze ngokuchanekileyo, yenze ngokwahlukileyo. Ukubalwa kwamanyathelo abantwana, qala nje. Ukuba uqhubeka usenza into enye uya kuhlala uziva ngendlela efanayo.
Ekugqibeleni, ndiyaqonda ukuba konke kulula ukuthetha, kodwa kunzima ukukwenza. Ngoko fumana inkxaso - evela kumlingani, umhlobo, ubugcisa. Fumana uncedo lokutshintsha oko wenzayo ukuze utshintshe oko ukwenzayo.
Mhlawumbi lixesha lokutsala iplagi.
INQAKU KWIINQAKU - Ukuxhasa kakhulu?
Izimvo: URobert Taibbi, ngugqirha owaziwayo, umbhali, kunye nombhali weencwadi zezifundo zabacebisi nabaphathi babo. Kule PT post uchaza i-porn-eyenzelwe i-ED, kwaye ucebisa inyanga ye-6 ngaphandle kwe-porn kunye ne-masturbation enokufuneka.