Umdala oneminyaka eyi-28 uyaphilisa amandla akhe angapheliyo.
Ukususela oko eli nqaku labhalwa, ulwazi malunga nalo mbandela luye lwakhula. Davy Rothbart, ebhalela Iphephancwadi laseNew York, wavuma ukuba kwakufuneka enze i-orgasm yomgunyathi—ngenxa yokusebenzisa kakhulu iphonografi. Kungekudala emva koko, umsasazi weTV uJoy Behar wahlanganisa umboniso oxoxa ngendlela iphonografi ye-Intanethi enokuthomalalisa ngayo ukuphendula ngokwesondo kunye nobomi besondo obupholileyo bezibini. (Bukela umboniso) Kutsha nje, Abaphandi baseItali (uphononongo lwe-28,000 amadoda ase-Italiya) abhengeze ukuba abafana abancinci baneengxaki zokumisa ezibathintela ukuba balale ngesondo ngenxa yokusetyenziswa kwexesha elide le-porn.
"Njengoko iifoto ziqhubekela phambili, ukusebenza kuyahla?"Uxele ukuba amadoda axela ukungasebenzi kakuhle kwe-erectile ngokunxulumene nokusetyenziswa kwe-Intanethi kwe-intanethi-nakwimashumi amabini. Impendulo yayimangalisa. Into leyo ifundwe amashumi amawaka amaxesha, kwaye uninzi lwabasebenzisi abanzima be-porn baqinisekisile ukuba ngokwenene bafumana ilahleko ye-erectile potency. Kubonakala ngathi ukuphulula amalungu esini “akusafani nakuqala.” Ukusimahla, ukusasaza, iividiyo ezikhuthazayo, ziyinto yakutshanje, kwaye kuyamangalisa ukuba yingxaki.
Umcimbi awukho kubabukeli 'bempilo entle ngokugqibeleleyo, kodwa kwimijikelezo yomvuzo wabo wobuchopho-kwaye akukho sisombululo sikhawulezileyo. Ubuntununtunu obuqhelekileyo be-dopamine kwisekethe yomvuzo kubalulekile ekuphenduleni ngokwesini okuqhelekileyo, kwaye kukhuthaza kakhulu buthathaka kwi-dopamine impendulo yobuninzi bongo. Ukuze ubuyele kwisiqhelo, ubuchopho bufuna ixesha lokuqalisa kwakhona ngaphandle kokunyusa okukhulu.
Ngelishwa, uninzi lwabasebenzisi be-porn abayiqondi into eyenzekayo de ingxaki ibenzima kakhulu, kuba ngokwendalo bathanda "ukusombulula" nakuphi na ukonwaba kwe-erectile kunye ne-porn engaphaya (oko ke kunyanzela ukukhutshwa kwe-dopamine kufuneka kufezekiswe ulwakhiwo, kodwa kananjalo ngakumbi ukunciphisa ubuntununtunu bendalo kunye nokuphendula kwabo ngokwesondo). Abanye abanesifo ngokwendalo babhenela kwiziyobisi zokuphucula isondo, bengazi ukuba bayayifihla ingxaki abanokuziphilisa yona. Ukuzekelisa, nanga amagqabantshintshi endoda ngohambo olubuyela kwimpilo ye-erectile:
[Iiveki ezintathu ezingabonwayo noononophala, i-masturbation okanye i-orgasm] Iminyaka, ndandijonga iphonografi kwaye ndenza i-masturbated to multiple orgasms ubuncinci kanye ngemini, ukuqala ngexesha lesikolo esiphakamileyo. Eyunivesithi, ndandiyikhompyuter ye-nerd eneglasi kwaye ndingenabomi ekuhlaleni, nangona ndandidlala imidlalo emininzi. Ndandihlala egumbini lam ndifunde, ndidlale ikatala okanye i-masturbate. Ndizilungele zonke ezi zinto.
Ndifumene umsebenzi we-IT, kwaye nje ukuba ndikwazi ukuhlawula intambo ye-Intanethi, iingcango zezikhukula zavuleka. Ngokufikelela okungasikelwanga mda kumgangatho ophezulu we-porn 24/7, ndiza kuhlala kude kube yi-4 kusasa ndize ndivuke emini emaqanda. Kwezinye iinyanga bendibhoka kakhulu kangangokuba ndigqithile kwisilinganiso sam se-Intanethi kwaye ndafumana amatyala e- $ 1000. Bendihlala ndineefestile ezi-5 ukuya kwezi-10 zokusasaza ividiyo evulekileyo ngexesha, kwaye ndiphakathi kwabo, okwenyusa amanqanaba okuvuka. Le patheni yaqhubeka kumashumi amabini am onke eminyaka. Bendingonwabanga tu, kwaye ugqirha wam undifumene ndinexinzelelo.
Iphonografi yathatha okwethutyana umnqweno wam, ke ndacinga ukuba yinto entle, indigcina "ndilungelelene." Ndinebhongo lokuba ndikwazi ukujonga intombazana eshushu esitalatweni kwaye ndingaziva kwaukuvuswa kuba iphonografi yandikhathaza. Yayiyindlela yokubuyisa amandla endikholelwa ukuba abafazi banam ngaphezulu kwam. Kamva kuphela emva koko ndaye ndayiqonda indlela eyonakalisa ngayo le nto.
Uninzi lwezinto endizifundileyo esikolweni, kwimithombo yeendaba nakwi-Intanethi zathi ukuphulula amalungu esini, kunye ne-porn, zisempilweni. Bonke abafana endibaziyo babekuyo, ngoko andizange ke yenzeke kum indlela ekungaqhelekanga ngayo ngokungafaniyo nobomi besondo bendalo. Ngokwazi kwam, ukuphulula amalungu esini akukho nto iphosakeleyo ngayo, kwaye ukubukela iphonografi yinto nje eyenziwa ngabo bonke abantu ngalo lonke ixesha. Uninzi lwabahlobo bam lusenolu luvo.
Xa ekugqibeleni ndalahlekelwa bubuntombi bam kwi-23, ixesha lam lokuqala lalilibi. Ndandingumntu onzima, ndandisoyika kwaye akukho nto yayisebenza. Khange ndiyonwabele kwaphela, kwaye ndiqinisekile ukuba intombi yam eyayihamba nayo iyakuthetha okufanayo. Ndandimthanda, kodwa ndiqeqesha inkqubo yam ye-nervous ukuphendula ngesondo ngenye indlela ixesha elide, kwakunjengokuba umzimba wam ungazi ukuba wenzeni. Ubomi bethu bezesondo yayisesona sizathu siphambili sokwahlukana emva kweminyaka embalwa. Ndandibukela i-porn kakhulu ixesha lonke. Ngoku, ndiyaqonda ukuba ndandonakalisa ubuhlobo bethu, kodwa ngelo xesha ndandimsola. Wayenazo iingxaki ezizezakhe, kodwa engafanelekanga ukuba abekwe ityala. Ukuzithethelela kwam, ngokunyanisekileyo bendingazi ngcono.
Ukususela ngoko, ndalala ngesondo, kodwa andizange ndikwazi ukuphumla kwaye ndiyonwabele. Ndihlala ndisoyika, kwaye ndihlala ndineengxaki zokufumana ulwakhiwo. I-orgasm yam yokugqibela yayisezandleni zentombazana yokuthambisa yaseTshayina kwaye nangoko, ndinengxaki yokugcoba. Wayemhle kwaye enomzimba onomtsalane, kodwa kwathatha ixesha elide ukuba ndenze i-orgasm, kwaye waphantse wayeka. Lo ngumzekelo nje omnye wendlela ndinqamleze ngayo amandla am okuvuswa ngeendlela eziqhelekileyo.
Intombazana eshushu inokuhamba ze imilenze isasazeke ebhedini phambi kwam, kwaye ndisafuna uhlobo oluthile lokuvuselelwa ngesandla ukuze kube nzima. Oku kuyandoyikisa ngokwenene. Ndifuna i-libido yam ibuye. Ndifuna ukuziva ndisiqhelo kwakhona. Ndifuna ukunxibelelana nehlabathi liphela kwaye ndonwabele ubomi bam. Kudala ndisebenzisa i-porn ukuba ndibaleke, kwaye ndiqinisekile ukuba idlale indima ebalulekileyo ekubangeleni uxinzelelo lwam lwangaphambili.
Kunyaka ophelileyo, bendinomzamo ofanelekileyo wokuyeka iphonografi kwaye ndabona ukuphucuka. Kodwa ndandisenza i-masturbating kwaye ndifunda i-erotica ngelo xesha. Lo mzamo wangoku lixesha lokuqala ndizamile ukuhamba ngaphandle kwayo nayiphi na i-orgasm okanye ukuvusa ngaphandle, kwaye ndiziva ngathi le yeyona nto iphambili. Kubonakala ngathi ukungakhathali ngokupheleleyo kunokukhawulezisa inkqubo yokubuyisela kwimeko yesiqhelo. Ndiza kubonisa ukuba ndineminyaka engama-28 kwaye ndinempilo entle ngokwasemzimbeni nangokweemvakalelo, kwaye ukutya kwam kuhlambulukile. Ndisebenza rhoqo. Anditshayi. Ndiyasela kakhulu ngeempelaveki nangona.
Into engaqhelekanga kukuba khange kube nzima ukuyeka, nje ukuba ndenze isigqibo. Ngaphandle kwentloko ebuhlungu kunye nokulala okungazinzanga, andinayo iimpawu zokuhoxiswa abantu abaninzi bakhankanya. Endaweni yoko, andiva nto. Kufana nokuba andinayo i-libido. Akukho mthi wakusasa. Akukho maphupha manzi. Akukho zilungiso ezizenzekelayo. Akukho minqweno. Khange ube horny. Ndinamathuba okulala ngesondo kodwa umzimba wam awuphenduli. Ndithatha iiklasi ze-tango, ke ndinentlalontle ngokufanelekileyo kodwa akukho phawu lwe-libido yam. Ndiyakwazi ukudanisa nentombazana entle kwaye andinakuphendula ngokwasemzimbeni nangayiphi na indlela. Ndiyazi ngobuchopho ukuba intombazana inomdla, kodwa andiyiva ngokwasemzimbeni.
Into endigcina ndihamba kunye nokuziyeka lukholo lwam lokuba ndiza kuba nakho ukuqala kwakhona ingqondo yam kwaye ndibuyele esiqhelweni. Kodwa kuyaphazamisa.
[Iiveki ezintandathu kamva] Kule veki kuphawula utshintsho kwinkqubo yam yokubuyisela kwimeko yesiqhelo. Phambi kokuba ndiqhubeke, kufuneka ndichaze intombazana evela kumdaniso wetango. Mde, uluhlaza amehlo (ndiyawathanda amehlo aluhlaza), umzimba omkhulu, kwaye upholile njengesihogo. Ulumkile esitratweni kwaye uphantsi emhlabeni kwaye unokubamba incoko malunga neemfumba zezinto. Ufuna ukonwaba, yiyo kanye le nto ndiyifunayo ngoku.
Into engaqhelekanga kukuba khange kube nzima ukuyeka, nje ukuba ndenze isigqibo. Ngaphandle kwentloko ebuhlungu kunye nokulala okungazinzanga, andinayo I ndicinga ukuba kukhuselekile ukuthi i-libido yam ibuyile, kodwa Kwakuziiveki ezisibhozo ezingekho zoononophala, ukuhlambalaza okanye ukuhlaziya, kunye nefantasy encinci. Injongo yam yayikukwenza kwiphupha elimanzi, njengophawu lokuba umzimba wam wawuqala ukuphendula ngesiqhelo. Andizange ndiyenze. Kwiveki ephelileyo, bendinomdla wangaphandle ovuselelekileyo kunye nentombazana yokuthanjiswa yaseThai. Inxalenye yam inqwenela ukuba ndilinde, ngaphandle komnqweno wokubona ukuba kungathatha ixesha elingakanani. Kodwa ke injongo yam kukuba nobomi obuphilileyo ngokwesondo kwakhona, hayi amaphupha amanzi.
Ngaphandle kwesehlo eso, yayikukuyeka ngokuchanekileyo. [Xa ndade ndalala ngesondo kunye nentombazana endadibana nayo kwiklasi ye-tango], kwakungekho ngxaki ye-erectile (ED). Kwakunzima ngaphandle kwakhe endichukumisa ezantsi. Salala ngesondo amaxesha amaninzi, ke okwesibini nangesihlandlo sesithathu bendidinga "uncedo" oluncinci, kodwa bekungekho i-ED ngolu hlobo. Ixesha lesine silinde iiyure ezimbalwa, kwaye ndanzima ngaphandle koncedo, ngokuvulwa. Ke ndicinga ukuba kukhuselekile ukuthi ndifumana izilungiso ezisemthethweni, ezingafakwanga ngoku.
Ndiye ndabona ukuba isondo asiyonto yokusebenza… imalunga nabantu ababini abadibanisa kwaye bonwabe. Ndicinga ukuba kuya kuthatha ixesha elide ukungafundi yonke into endiyifumene nokubukela iphonografi, ayisiyiyo into eyabelana ngesondo ngayo konke konke. Ndiyazi ukuba ndizakugxila phi ngoku; Ndizamile ngenene ukwenza iseshoni icothe kwaye ibenenkanuko njengoko kunokwenzeka, ngokuphatha kunye nokuchukumisa. Ke, ndicinga ukuba ngumcimbi nje wexesha kunye nokwenza isondo lokwenyani kunye nabafazi bokwenyani.
Ndicinga ukuba ndiyaziqonda ngcono izinto ngoku: Xa ungakhange utye ixeshana, ingqondo yakho iqala ukukhupha i-dopamine, ekwenza unqwenele ukutya. Le yempendulo yokusinda ekukhuthazeni ukuba ufune ukutya, ke ngoko umzimba awulambi. Xa uhluthi, ingqondo yakho iyakuvala oku kwaye awusalangazeleli ukutya. Ukuba uhlala usisebenzisa gadalala esi sixhobo ngokubhabha kukutya, ingqondo yakho yehlisa ubuntununtunu bayo kwi-dopamine nakwizinto ezinxulumene noko. Oku kuyakukhuthaza ukuba uzinkcinkce ngakumbi ukuze ufumane imvakalelo efanayo. I-Porn isebenza ngendlela efanayo. Ukutya kunye nokwabelana ngesondo akukubi, kodwa ukuba uzinkcinkca ngotywala, uyakucaphukisa amanqanaba engqondo engqondo ye-dopamine kunye nenani le-receptor, yiyo loo nto ke ibangela ukuba likhoboka. Ngoku ndicinga ngoononophala ngokuthi "ukutya okungenamsoco ngengqondo". Iphonografi kunye nokutya okungekho mpilweni kubonakala ngathi kunefuthe elifanayo kubuchopho.
Ndicinga ukuba ndiyaziqonda ngcono izinto ngoku: Xa ungakhange utye ixeshana, ingqondo yakho iqala ukukhupha i-dopamine, ekwenza unqwenele ukutya. Le yempendulo yokusinda ekukhuthazeni ukuba ufune ukutya, ke ngoko umzimba awulambi. Xa uhluthi, ingqondo yakho iyakuvala oku kwaye awusalangazeleli ukutya. Ukuba uhlala usisebenzisa gadalala esi sixhobo ngokubhabha kukutya, ingqondo yakho yehlisa ubuntununtunu bayo kwi-dopamine nakwizinto ezinxulumene noko. Oku kuyakukhuthaza ukuba uzinkcinkce ngakumbi ukuze ufumane imvakalelo efanayo. I-Porn isebenza ngendlela efanayo. Ukutya kunye nokwabelana ngesondo akukubi, kodwa ukuba uzinkcinkca ngotywala, uyakucaphukisa amanqanaba engqondo engqondo ye-dopamine kunye nenani le-receptor, yiyo loo nto ke ibangela ukuba likhoboka. Ngoku ndicinga ngoononophala ngokuthi "ukutya okungenamsoco ngengqondo". Iphonografi kunye nokutya okungekho mpilweni kubonakala ngathi kunefuthe elifanayo kubuchopho.[La magqabaza alandelayo abhalwa yile ndoda ukuphendula enye indoda icela ingcebiso.] Ndicinga ukuba isantya sokuchacha siyahluka ngenxa yemiba eliqela:
- ubude ubukele ubulili / ukugcoba (iiyure ezimbini ngosuku, kunye neminyaka).
- njani ukubonwa koononophala / ukuhlaziya i-masturbating kuthelekiswa neminye imisebenzi (umzekelo, isondo kunye nabalingani boqobo).
- ukuba ukujonga kwakho iifostile kwakunjani ngokunyuka ngokwemigca ye-hardcore kunye ne-gonzo.
- ukusetyenziswa kwezinye iimvavanyo ukuphucula umuzwa we-orgasm (umzekelo, amathoyizi, izinto ezinjenge-auto-erotic asphyxiation, njl.).
- Ezinye izinto ezichaphazela amazinga e-dopamine (ukuzivocavoca, ukutya, ukuncedisa, ukudandatheka, iziyobisi njl.).
- indlela "ehlazo ngayo" oyibona ngayo iphonografi engqondweni yakho (ngakumbi "ihlazo", kukhutshwa i-dopamine, edibanisa ingxaki).
Ngokusekwe kumava am, ndingacinga ukuba ezi ndlela zilandelayo zokufumana kwakhona kuluhlu ngokulandelelana kokusebenza:
- Akukho kopopayi, akukho masturbation, akukho orgasm.
- Ayikho i-porn, i-masturbation kodwa ayikho i-orgasm
- Akukho noononophala, akukho masturbation, orgasm ngezinye iindlela (umzekelo kunye nomlingane)
- Akukho kopopayi, i-masturbation togasm.
- Ukukhupha i-porn, akukho masturbation, akukho orgasm.
- Ukuqhoxisa i-porn, ukuhlaziya i-masturbation kodwa akukho-orgasm
- Ukuqhawula i-porn, akukho masturbation, orgasm ngezinye iindlela (umzekelo kunye nomlingani)
- Ukuqhawula i-porn, ukuhlaziya i-masturbation kwi-orgasm.
Ndiyakucinga ukuba umehluko phakathi kweendlela zokuqala kunye zokugqibela ngokwexesha eliqhelekileyo lokubuyisela li-2-3 ngeenyanga kunye ne-2-3 iminyaka.
Kuyenzeka ukuba kuthathe kuphela iminyaka embalwa ye-intanethi ekhuthaza i-Intanethi ukuba ibangele iqabane- okanye ukungabinamandla okuphembelela kwamanye amadoda. Ukuthetha ngokungqongqo ingxaki ayikho iphonografi; yiyo ukuvuselela okukhulu obangela i-dopamine dysregulation. Omnye umntu ongu-ED wabhala:
Ndifumana ingxoxo yevidiyo ingxaki enkulu. Ndicinga ukuba i-dopamine "hit" yomelele ngakumbi kunye neqabane elinomdla kwelinye icala, kuba ibonakala ngathi iyinto yokwenyani kunevidiyo. Ekugqibeleni, ndiye ndaphuhlisa iingxaki ezifanayo zekhamera endinazo neqabane lokwenyani.
Uninzi lwabafana abancinci ngoku abanika ingxelo ngeengxaki bakwazile ukufumana intambo ye-Intanethi ngaphambi kwesihlwele, oko kunokuthetha ukuba ngabona bantu baninzi kwiqela elikhulu. Nangona kunjalo, abasebenzisi bayo yonke iminyaka basemngciphekweni. Baxela ukuba banokuhlala bekwenzela ulwakhiwo ukuba "bayaphelela" kwi-porn eyoneleyo, kodwa abasenakho ukulandela amaqabane okwenyani. "Ukuhlela," njengokujonga iifestile ezisibhozo ukuya kwezilishumi ezivulekileyo zoononophala, kukukhuthaza okukhulu, okudlula nantoni na okhokho bethu abaqhubeka bejongana nayo-mhlawumbi ichaza ukuba kutheni ibangela ukuba ingqondo engafunekiyo iguqulwe ngenxa yokungabi namandla.
Kukho nawuphi na, le nzekayo yinyani, ukuba ingaphantsi kwengxelo. Indoda enye yathi:
Ngobunye ubusuku ndandibukele inkqubo ethetha ngoonongogo; Ndiqaphele amanye amantombazana kwiimuvi ezingamanyala. Ngaxa lithile bathi banokuxela ukuba ngoobani abo baphulula amalungu esini amanyala ngenxa yokuba akukho nto banokuyenza enoku "khuthaza" le ndoda ukuba ivuke. Cinga ngayo, kwanamantombazana aqeqeshelwe ukufeza ubukrelekrele besini esingamadoda akakwazi ukuhambelana nokukhuthaza iphonografi, kubandakanya amanye amantombazana abakwimifanekiso engamanyala. Abafazi “abaqhelekileyo” abafuna nje ukuthanda kwethu abami thuba.
Kwakhona kusebenza kule ngxaki inkolelo yokuba rhoqo i-masturbation ibalulekile kwimpilo yokuzala. Amadoda ahlala eyazi ukuba ukusebenzisa kwabo i-porn akunakuphathwa kwaye kubangela iimpawu ezingafunekiyo, kodwa balahlekisiwe kumele ejaculate rhoqo. Okukhethwa kwabo kuphela kubonakala kukunyusa amandla.
Enyanisweni, ixesha elide, elingenakuqhathaniswa, ixesha lokuphuma lingaba yinto yonke efunekayo yokubuyisela ukuvakalelwa kwengqondo yengqondo kwaye ngoko umsebenzi oqhelekileyo.
(Jonga uhlaziyo lweenyanga ezintlanu zalo mfana apha ngezantsi.)
Kwakhona jonga le ngxelo ka-2013 yomfana, i-23, oku kuthetha ukuba wayengaphantsi kweminyaka eyi-8 kunomfana ibali lakhe lingasentla. Oku kuthetha ukuba umntu oneminyaka engama-23 ubudala waqala ngesantya esiphezulu ngokukhawuleza kakhulu: Ubudala be-24-ED busala emva konyaka. Iingxelo ezifana nale yamva ngelishwa ziya zixhaphaka.
Ngolwazi oluthe kratya malunga nokuqonda impilo ye-erectile, bona uGary's I-Erectile Dysfunction kunye noTyhutho slide
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