Ndiye ndacinga ukuba ndingabelana ngempumelelo endingazange ndiyicinge ukuba ingafika apha. Ndalala ngesondo okokuqala ukususela kwi-17 ebusuku! (Ndina-20 ngoku)
Kwimvelaphi encinci, bendisilwa nokulutha kwe-PMO kwaye ndicime ukusukela kwiminyaka eyi-15 kwaye bekungekho kude kube ngunyaka ophelileyo ukuba ndivume kum ukuba ndinengxaki. Ndikhumbula ndizisa intombazana kwindawo yam ukuba ibe nobusuku obunye kwaye iphele ngobo busuku ndineentloni. Ayikwazanga ukuphakama emva kwemizamo emininzi kwaye intombazana yaphela icaphukile, icinga ukuba bendicinga ukuba ayithandeki ngokwaneleyo. Ndakhumbula ndibona i-TED Talk malunga neli qela kwaye ndagqiba ekubeni ndijoyine idabi.
Ke ukuqala kwam kumceli mngeni weNoFap kwahlala kwada kwaba sekuqaleni kuka-Agasti walo nyaka. Ndenze i-57 day streak, kodwa i-gf yam ngelo xesha yagqiba ekubeni ihlukane nam kwaye ndalahlekelwa kulawulo. Izinto zibuyele apho bezikhona njengoko ndingazange ndikwazi ukwenza izinto zisebenze kakuhle naye kwaye bendilahlekelwe lithemba. Nangona kunjalo, ndibuyele kwihashe ngasekupheleni kukaSeptemba, kwaye andizange ndifake ukususela ngoNovemba 13th.
Into eyenzekayo ukususela ngoko ibingumzabalazo, kodwa ibalulekile. Ndakhubeka kwenye yezona ntombazana zibalaseleyo ezazinomdla kum, kodwa ndandinengxaki enkulu yokumfumana ukuba azibophelele kubudlelwane (uphume nje enkulu). Ekugqibeleni, emva kokuba ndimxelele ukuba andifuni nje ubudlelwane obukhululekile, wabuya emva kweveki kwaye wandixelela ukuba ndivuleleke akufanelekanga ukuba aphinde andibone (eyavakala intle kakhulu, btw).
Saba nomhla wethu wokuqala osemthethweni kamva kwaloo veki. Yonke into yahamba kakuhle, kwaye emva koko sasela kancinci. Izinto zaqala ukufudumala kwaye emva kwengqondo yam, ndandinexhala lokuba ipakethe ayizukuba nzima ngokwaneleyo kwi-sex. Ngokuqinisekileyo emva koko, siphela sobabini sihamba ze kwi-sofa sihleli nje apho sidanile kukuba ndise-half-flacid. Ndinxibe iimpahla zam zangaphantsi kwaye sichitha ubusuku bonke nje sibambene, ngelixa ndiqhubeka ndifumana i-jabs malunga nendlela endingakwazi ngayo ukwenza. Ebengayazi into endixakene nayo kwaye ebengaqondi ukuba asibotywala qha.
Ke emva kweentsuku (phezolo ngokukodwa), wandithumelela umyalezo wokuba usanda kuphuma kwimovie nomhlobo wakhe iikhilomitha ezimbalwa ukusuka endlwini yam kwaye wayefuna ukuza kuchitha ubusuku. Ndatsho ngokuqinisekileyo kwaye emva kweeyure ezimbalwa ze-netflix ebhedini yam, ukwanga kwethu apha naphaya kuya kuba qatha kakhulu ukuze sicime yonke into. Ndiphinde ndanovalo kakhulu kuba ndiyazi ukuba le nto isingise phi.
Ekugqibeleni, uthi ufuna ndiyifake. Ndiyamxelela ukuba kufuneka ndiqine kancinci kwaye undinike intloko malunga nomzuzu. Ndiyityibilikisa ikhondom kwaye njengoko sizama ukulungelelanisa izinto, iqala ukuqhwalela kwakhona. Umxholo othe rhoqo wokuphoxeka wenza enye imbonakalo. Ngeli xesha, uyaqengqeleka athi “..uqinisekile ukuba ayindim kuphela?”
Ndithi "akunjalo.. Andiqinisekanga ukuba yintoni.."
Emva kwemizuzu embalwa yobunzima, ndibuyela kuye kwaye ndimxelele ukuba ndiphantsi ukwenza ezinye izinto. Uvele wanikina intloko endixelela ukuba akakho semoyeni ngoku. Kanye njengentombazana emalunga nonyaka odlulileyo, uqinisekile ukuba yeyakhe yonke kwaye ndichitha imizuzu eyi-10 elandelayo ndizama ukumqinisekisa ukuba akunjalo kwaphela. Ndiyayigqiba indlela ebangela iintloni ngayo ingxaki yam nge-PMO kwaye ndiqale ukumcacisela yonke into ukuze ibe sengqiqweni. Ekugqibeleni, uthi uyandikholelwa, kodwa ngoku iingqondo zakhe kuzo zonke iimpazamo zakhe ngoko akakabikho semoyeni.
Ndiziva ndimbi kakhulu ngoku kwaye ndiyambuza ukuba uyafuna na ukuthetha ngayo. Uhlebeza "uhlobo" kwaye ugqiba ukundixelela zonke iimpazamo zakhe. Xa eqala ukudwelisa, ndiye kwizibane ndimenze andibonise zonke ngelizama ukumbonisa indlela endiwubona ngayo umzimba wakhe ngokwahlukileyo. Ndiyamncoma ngayo yonke into andixelela yona kwaye emva kokuba sigqibe uluhlu lwakhe, yena u nya nzelisa Ndimxelela ukungazithembi kwam. Siphela sinale ntetho imangalisayo ehlala malunga neyure kwaye malunga ne-3AM, imo yakhe ekugqibeleni ibonakala ijikile.
Sicima izibane ukuba siye kulala kwaye ndiva indawana yezesondo esiphelweni sakhe. Ndiqala ukuziva apha emzimbeni wakhe ndithe chu ukuthoba isandla sam esinqeni sakhe. Siqala ukwenza ngaphandle ngelixa isandla sam singaphakathi kuye. Ndingaqondanga, ngoku ndiqine ngaphezu kwelitye. Uyive ecaleni kwakhe andimise. “..Uyafuna ukuyizama kwakhona?” Bendingasenexhala ngebali lam elihlazo, ndithi kutheni. Ndithathe enye ikhondom, ndimcele ukuba ayinxibele mna ukugcina izinto ziqhubeka phakathi kwethu, kwaye ndiyifake ngqo. Kwaye ukusuka apho kwaqala ubusuku obuhle besondo :')
Ngethemba, oko bekukonwabisa okanye kuyakhuthaza ngandlela ithile. Ngokuqinisekileyo ndiziva ndinethemba ngakumbi emva kobusuku obudlulileyo kwaye ndicinga ukuba inokunika ithemba kwabanye abanengxaki efanayo. Phawula ukuba unayo nayiphi na imibuzo okanye ufuna ukwabelana nantoni na. Enkosi ngokufunda.
LINK - Ibali leMpumelelo (I-PIED yoyisiwe @ Iintsuku ezingama-47)
by Melicertes
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