Ikaka engcwele. Emva kweentsuku ze-64 kolu luhlu kunye neminyaka eyi-1.5 ye-PornFree kunye ne-NoFap yokuzabalaza, ndingatsho ukuba ndiqaliswe kwakhona. Kwaye mandikuxelele, oku kuyamangalisa, kuyamangalisa, kuhle kwaye kuyoyikisa ngaxeshanye.
Ihlabathi livuliwe. Olu luhlu lwalusele luyinto yokugqibela (oko kukuthi. Andisayi kuphinda ndibuyele kwakhona), ndandiyazi ukuba ukususela ekuqaleni. Imiba yam ekugqibeleni isonjululwe.
Kodwa oku kuqaliswa kwakhona, damn yeyiphi into enamandla. Ndinesondo ngendlela emangalisayo kwaye kuphela ngoku ndiye ndaqaphela indlela endithe ngqo ngayo.
Yonke le minyaka ndibukele i-porn, bendiyazi le nto. Kodwa bendiluhlobo lwe-OCD'ing malunga nesini sam. Isibini esinayo yonke imiba endandinayo kwasebutsheni bam kunye neminyaka engama-22 yokuqala yobomi bam yayingelula kangako.
Kodwa kulo lonke olu hambo olwaqala malunga ne-1.5 kwiminyaka eyadlulayo, ndafunda ukwamkela yonke into endiyiyo. Iziphene. Amanxeba. Uloyiko. Ukungazithembi.
Kodwa nazo zonke izinto ezinkulu. Yomelele. Unamandla kwaye ukrelekrele. Uqeqeshekile. Uzimisele.
Ndandisoyika ukuba ndibe ne-autistic (ngakumbi kwi-asperger inxalenye ye-spectrum) ixesha elide. Ndandisoloko ndahlukile yaye ndikhangela iimpendulo. Ngoku kubonakala ngathi ndinesiphiwo esikhulu, nto leyo eyenza ingqiqo xa ujonga ubutsha bam. Isoloko ingaqondwa. Andizange ndiyifumane indawo yam de ndafumana ukuba yintoni na indlela yokuba nesiphiwo kunye nendlela okuchaphazela ngayo abantwana abancinci, ngakumbi xa ungavavanywanga usemncinci (apho abazali bam bangazange bagqibe ukuyenza). (Hayi ukuba kukho into engalunganga ngokuba yi-autistic, kodwa ezinye izinto ze-spectrum azizange zindilingane ngokupheleleyo kwaye ngoko andizange ndaneliseke yile 'ileyibhile' okanye 'impendulo'.)
Ndilwe iminyaka engaphezu kwe-1.5 ukujongana kwaye ndoyise iidemon zam kwaye ndiphumelele.
Andisoze ndibuyele kwi-porn. Okanye zonke ezinye izinto bendidla ngokuzigubungela ngazo ukungakhuseleki kwam.
Kukho ukukhanya ekupheleni kwetonela kwaye mhlawumbi ukufutshane kunokuba ucinga. Ndiye ndafunda ukuba ukukhula akuyondlwan’ iyanetha. Ukuba kukho imiba emininzi ekufuneka ujongane nayo ukuze ube ngumntu omdala owomeleleyo nopheleleyo. Kwaye kukho imithwalo yabantu abangaze bafikelele kwelo nqanaba, kuba boyika kakhulu ukujongana nemiba yabo.
Nonke nina bafana abandwendwela olu hlobo lwe-subreddits ukuze niziphucule. Une-guts yokujongana nemiba yakho kwaye ube ngamadoda nabafazi abalungileyo. Ukuze ube ngcono kungekuphela kuwe, kodwa kusapho lwakho, abahlobo, uluntu kunye naloo nto, ihlabathi.
Sekukufutshane ukuyishiya le subreddit. Ndiza kuphinda ndityelele amaxesha ngamaxesha ukuze ndihlale ndinolwazi kwaye ndinike inkxaso, kodwa ndigqibile apha. NdinguPornFree.
Ukuphelisa eli bali ngesicatshulwa, mna, ngokuqinisekileyo, ndikhetha isicatshulwa esivela ku-Theodore Roosevelt esisebenza kakhulu apha kuthi abasokolayo kwaye bakhubeke ukuba babe ngabantu abangcono.
Asingomgxeki obalayo. Asingomntu obonisa indlela indoda eyomeleleyo eyakhubeka ngayo. Ityala lendoda eyayikho ngokwenene ebaleni, ubuso bayo bonakaliswe luthuli, ukubila negazi, ezabalazela ngobukroti, ephazamayo ukuze ibuye ibe mfutshane yaye ibe mfutshane kwakhona, ngenxa yokuba akukho migudu ingenampazamo nantsilelo. Ngumntu ozama ngokwenene ukwenza izenzo, owazi umdla omkhulu kwaye uyazi ukuzinikela okukhulu, ochitha ngenxa yesizathu esifanelekileyo, ngubani owazi kakuhle ekugqibeleni uloyiso lokuphumelela okukhulu. Kwaye, ngubani na okubi kakhulu, ukuba uyasilela, ubuncinane uyasilela ngelixa enesibindi kakhulu, ukuze indawo yakhe ingaze ibe kunye naloo miphefumlo ibandayo kunye nenkohlakalo engayazi uloyiso okanye ukoyiswa.
UTheodore Roosevelt
LINK - Ndiqaliswe ngokutsha.
NGE- stulop
;