Ngaphambi kokuba ndithethe nantoni na, ndifuna ukuthi enkosi. Ukuba bekungekho kwalapha ekuhlaleni andazi ukuba bendizokwazi ukubulala le demon. Xa ndandihamba ngenxalenye enzima yokuqalisa kwam kwakhona yayinguwe nonke apha eyayindigcina ndisemgceni. Kodwa ayisiyiyo kuphela kwesizathu sokuba ndibulele kuni nonke.
Enye into endiyqiqayo kukuba nonke nindincedile ukufumana injongo yam ebomini. Ubuncinci injongo yam ukuya kuthi ga ngoku ndiyayiqonda. Ndibulwele ubomi bam bonke ndizama ukuphendula umbuzo wento heck ebefanelwe kukuyenza nam. Ndisikelelekile ngeendlela ezingaphaya endinokubala. Ndinetalente, amalungelo, kunye neenkanuko endizamile ukuba zingaze zithathwe lula. Nangona kunjalo, kude kube ngoku, ezi ntsikelelo zindizisele uloyiko kunye nexhala. Ingathi ndingaze ndikwazi ukungcungcuthekisa imvakalelo yokuba ndibambeke emthunzini weli tyala likhulu le-karmic. Ndivakalelwe kukuba ndinikwe okuninzi kwaye ngaphandle kokuba ndingenza into entle ngayo konke, bendiya kuba yinkunkuma enkulu.
Le mvakalelo indibangele ukuba ndithande kancinci malunga nokuzikhulisa. Ndaziva ngathi kufuneka ndiziphucule rhoqo ukuze kuthi ekugqibeleni xa injongo yam ibonakele ndikwazi ukuyiphatha. Nangona kunjalo, lo mnqweno wabaleka entloko kuqala kumlutha wamanyala. Le ngxaki phakathi kokuziphatha kwam kunye nokungakwazi ukunqoba le ngxaki (kunye ne-libido yam ngokubanzi ngokubanzi) kubangele ukungqubana okukhulu kokomoya ngaphakathi kwam. Uhambo olulandelayo lwenyani yinto endinokuthi ndibhekise kuyo "njengasendle".
Ndifunde bonke ubulumko endinokubabeka kubo - ubuHindu, ubuBuddha, ubugqi, iintsomi zaseNorse, uninzi lwezona zikolo ziphambili zefilosofi, kunye neenkqubo ezininzi zokuzinceda zangoku kunye neeklasikhi zokomoya. Lonke inyathelo elinye lindiphathele into endiqondayo ukuba iyi "Nyaniso".
Ngaphandle kwako konke oku kukhula kwangaphakathi, bendisabambekile kwikheji eyenziwe yi-PMO. Into endiyaziyo ngoku kukuba bendixakwe kwintolongo yommandla wentuthuzelo. Ndimise iiprojekthi kwakamsinya nje zakuba zingakhululekanga. Ndabambeka koloyiko olusisiseko sokhuthazo lweparadigm. Kwakungokoyika ukungabinamsebenzi kunye nokungazalisekisi injongo yam eyaqhubeka nokuqhubela phambili. Kodwa ungaya kuphela kude noloyiko lokuba kuphela kwento ekutyhalelayo.
Emva kwekholeji ndizamile ukubeka isidanga sam ekusebenzeni kwaye ndafumana umsebenzi omkhulu wobunjineli besoftware. Bendingazukutshintsha ilizwe ndikweso sikhundla, ndiyeke kwiinyanga ezintathu kamva ukuze ndiqhubeke nephupha lam lokuba ngumqeqeshi wobomi. Ndenze izinto ezininzi ezingalunganga, kodwa uloyiko yayiyeyona nto inkulu endleleni yam. Andikwazi ukuzibophelela kwi-niche, kwaye andinakukwazi ukubeka iiyure ngosuku endizifunayo ukuze ndisebenze. Ndingahlala ndifumana umsebenzi esikolweni ngenxa yokuba ndandisoyika ixesha elibekiweyo ukundityhala, kodwa xa ndandizenzela ishedyuli yam, iinjongo, kunye nezabelo, ndandingabonakali ukuba ndingazenza njani ndisebenze nzima.
Ndiyaqonda ngoku ukuba le yayiziziphumo eziqinisekileyo zokulutha kwam iphonografi kunye nobomi bokudlala iividiyo. Ndilikhoboka lokuzanelisa kwangoko kwaye umbono wokuzithandela ngokuzithandela ngenxa yokufumana inzuzo yexesha elide (ngaphandle koloyiko endiqhubela phambili) yayingumqobo nje ongaphandle kwaye ubonakala ungoyisi. Ndaziva ndingumqeqeshi ogqwesileyo (ukuqeqesha kuyeza ngokwam ngokwam njengamanzi okusela), kodwa ukuqhuba ishishini kwaye ukufumana abathengi kuye kwehla ngaphandle kwendawo yam yokuthuthuzela ngenxa yoko bendivinjelwe.
Ukongeza, kunzima kakhulu ukuba ngumqeqeshi ngaphandle kwe-niche ethile okanye abantu ekujoliswe kubo. Ndivele ndaziva ngathi andazi ukuba ngubani lo bekufanele ukuba ndimkhonze. Ke phakathi komzamo ongaphumeleliyo ephupheni kunye noloyiko lokubuyela emsebenzini ongathandekiyo we-9-5 wokundijonga ebusweni-into icofe ngaphakathi kwam. Andazi ukuba ndingayichaza njani ngaphandle kokwenza “isimanga”. Ndabuyela kubuKatolika, inkolo endazalelwa kuyo, kodwa ngenyaniso yazo zonke ezinye iinkolo kunye nefilosofi ndafunda ngokukhanya okuqaqambileyo kunakuqala. Sebenzisa umgca we-cliche, ndifumene uYesu. Okanye, wandifumana.
Ukusuka apho ndasikeleleka ngokubanako ukuzibona zonke iintsilelo zam ngokucacileyo okucacileyo kangangokuba ndaye ndathobeka ngendlela enzulu kangangokuba yandiguqula kum. Endaweni yokuzama ukuba ngulomntu unamandla ngokuziphuhlisa, bendifuna nje ukufunda indlela enokulisebenzisa ngayo eli lizwi likaLungile. Kwakungelo xesha apho ndandiqala khona ukuthanda kwam kwiintsuku ze-90. Ndiye ndaqala ukufunda indlela yokuhambisa ukubandezeleka. Ndifundile ukujongana needemon zam, ndaziyeka, zandilahla, zandilahlela ngaphandle. Ndifundile ukuba ndingamfumana njani uYuda ngaphakathi kwam, ndimbambe ngothando. Ngokunikezela kule nto kaLihle, ndiyifumene injongo yam.
Mhlawumbi abanye bakho baqhelene neyam Iprojekthi yoBuchule boBungcwele. Ndiqalile ukwenza i vlog kwiYouTube. Ngoncedo lolu luntu, ndiza kusondela kwiimbono ezingama-40k kunye nababhalisi abamalunga ne-1k. Andikwazi ukubonisa umbulelo kuni nonke ngenkxaso yenu ngokwaneleyo! Ngaphezulu koko, ndinabantu ngokusisiseko balungiselela uqeqesho ngaphandle kokucela. Ndiva ngathi yonke indawo yobomi bam indikhokelele kule ndawo kwaye indilungiselele ukuba ndizame ukunceda ngaphakathi komxholo wale ngxaki. Ndicinga ukuba le ngxaki ihluze izinto ezaneleyo, kwaye ndifuna ukwenza yonke into endinakho ukuqala ukwenza ngcono izinto.
Owu, kwaye ndiyakwazi ukugxila kwaye ndikhuphe ngokusebenza njenge-monster evulekile ngoku. I umkhwa oyi-master Ngaba amandla okuqhuba emva kokuziphatha kwam ngoku kwaye uloyiko lwentolongo luye lwacolwa ngokufanelekileyo ngenxa yeNoFap! Ndinezinto ezipholileyo ezicwangcisiweyo endizonwabileyo ngokwabelana nani nonke 🙂
Esi sithuba sele sisiba side kakhulu, ke ndifuna ukubulela kuni nonke kwakhona ngokusuka emazantsi entliziyo yam. Kuninzi okunokuthethwa, kodwa ndiza kuyigcina ngelinye ixesha. Ukuyishwankathela, ndifuna ukusebenzela nina nonke nakwesiphi na isikhundla endinakho.
Hlala ucocekile
LINK - Ingxelo yeentsuku ze-90: Ukusuka eNofap ukuya eNofear
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