Okokuqala, andinayo ibheji. Andinayo i-akhawunti ye-reddit konke konke kude kube ngoku, ke uxolo ngenxa yoko. Kodwa, kunjalo, ndicinga ukuba yile veki yam yesixhenxe yotshintsho (nika okanye uthathe kancinci), kwaye kufuneka nditsho ukuba kuyasebenza ebomini bam.
Ndiza kukunika amagqabantshintshi amafutshane ebali lam (kuba lisempilweni ngokupheleleyo ukuba ungathetha kwi-dude e-intanethi malunga nembali yakho ye-self-lovin) kwaye ndiza kuzama ukucacisa ukuba kutheni kufuneka ndishiya ubomvu ukuze uqhubeke kum uhambo.
Ndize kule nto ye-nofap ngengxoxo enxilisayo kunye nomzala wam. Ngelo xesha ndandisoyisa ityala elinokwenzeka nge-chlamydia kwaye ndineempawu zento endicinga ukuba yi-herpes (kamva yajika yaba ngukhwekhwe- bekufanele ukuba uyibonile inkangeleko yobuso bam xa ndiqala ukufumana izilonda emaqatheni kususwe uloyiko lweherp). Bendisandula ukuzama ukusebenzisa iklabhu yeziyobisi kwaye ngesizathu esithile ndicinga ukuba amasende wam ayabuna kwaye ayafa. Ngamafutshane, ndandiziva ndingaphantsi kwendoda.
Khange ndiyiqonde ngelo xesha, kodwa ndicinga ukuba mhlawumbi bendinengxaki yokungasebenzi kakuhle kwe-erectile. Uyayikhumbula i-chlamydia ebendithetha ngayo? Ewe, andinguye umdlali. Intombazana endandiyibambe (mhlawumbi) yayiyintombazana yesibini endakha ndathandana nayo ebomini bam. Yayingakhuselekanga ukuma ngobusuku obunye nomntu ongamaziyo. Ngaphambi koko ndandinabahlobo bam ababini. Inye, eyam yokuqala, ndalala ngesondo (mhlawumbi kahlanu okanye kathandathu kwiminyaka emi-2)), kodwa yayihlala ingamava anzima, egxila ngakumbi ekuhlaleni ixesha elide kangangoko ndinako, kunye nokuthanda ukuhlala ixesha elide kwaye Ukukhathazeka ngenxa yokuba ne-orgasm (sobabini beyintombi, ngoko unokucinga ubunzima). Inyaniso ehlazo ndikhale kanye kuba engakhange enze i-orgasm. Oku kwakungekho, njengoko ndandicinga ngokonwaba kwakhe, kodwa eneneni yayiyiyo yonke malunga ne-EGO yam. Nokuba ebeya kukhwaza igama lam, woyike ukuba eli gama liza kujikeleza ukuba ndimunce ebhedini. Ngamafutshane, ndandifundiswe ukuba ndibukele iphonografi ukuba yeyiphi into eyabelana ngesondo. Uye wandishiya. Ndacinga ukuba kungenxa yokuba ndandingenguye umthandi olungileyo, kodwa eneneni kungenxa yokuba ndandiphambana.
Intombi yam yesibini, andikaze ndilale nayo. Ukusukela ngoko ukuya phambili, ndiye ndacatshukiswa ngokufundiswa kwisini esincinci. Ngasizathu sithile ndandiye ndiwugwebe kakuhle umzimba wakhe, kwakhona ngokusekelwe kwi-porn (engakhange ndiyazi). Oku kungakhathali kunye nokoyika isondo (kunye nezinye iingxaki zokomoya ezikhulu ecaleni kwam, ekugqibeleni ziye zahlukana nathi.
Leyo nxalenye ilusizi kukuba, ndibathandile bobabini. Ndiya kuthetha, konke kudlulileyo kwaye senze uxolo lwethu. Andizisoli ngesondo esibi, kangangokuba iimeko zovavanyo ngokwasemphefumlweni ziye zabanyanzela.
Oko kukuthi, kude kube kukuma kwam kobusuku obunye. Ndaphuma nomhlobo wam, ndingakhangeli mntu, ndavele ndanxila ndamanga le ntombazana intle. I-hipster evela kwintombazana yaseScandinavia eyayimdala kunam iminyaka embalwa kwaye ihlala ndedwa kwisixeko esikhulu (ndisahlala nabazali bam). Yena, amabhinqa azithembileyo ukuba undithathile wandibuyisela endlwini yakhe, eyayifana ne-dive-artists, samamela ezinye iirekhodi ezathi kwenzeka ngamabona-ndenzile ukuba ziintandokazi zethu, sabuyela umva kwigumbi eliphezulu kwaye, ke, uyazi ...
Kwaye into ephambeneyo? Andiyena umthandi ombi. Bendingemhlanga tu. Ndingakhwaza ndiphezu kophahla lwendlu "NDINGULELELEYO !!!". Ndonwabile. Ndacinga ukuba izinto ezimbini zazidlala a) Wayengumntu wasemzini ngokupheleleyo ngaphandle konxibelelwano nakubani na endimaziyo b) ndandidakiwe kakhulu. Oko kukhombe kwingxaki yam yokuba yingqondo. Kwakunguloyiko olwalutshabalalisa ubomi bam ngokwesondo.
(enye into yile yokuba wayengumntu wesetyhini okwenyani, ayifani ne-stereotype, kodwa wayekholelwa ekulinganeni ngokwesini, kunye neengxoxo ezimfutshane esasinazo malunga neziselo kunye nesidlo sakusasa watyala imbewu engqondweni yam, apho ndandisoloko ndicinga ukuba ndiqhubela phambili kakhulu. Ndiqale ukubona ukuba ndandinababhinqileyo, ndacinga ukuba ndibathandile, bandiboleka into kwaye nemizimba yabo yandicaphukisa) -kodwa yonke le nto, ndandiqonda ukuba andinangxaki.
Ndaye ndaye kuvavanyelwa ii-STDs kuba ndinentlungu kuma-testicles am. Uvavanyo lubuyile ndingenalo (kodwa besele ndilithathile iyeza ngoba ugqirha wayeqinisekile). Ndicinge ukuba kungenzeka ukuba uyibambe kwaye uthathe nje uvavanyo lomchamo alungalunganga (inokuba luthando lwakho lokuqala lomhla kwaye ayilolwam), kodwa ngoku ndiqinisekile ukuba bendinomdla Akukho sizathu.
Ngelishwa, ndafowunela le ntombazana ndingazi ukuba ibhengeza ukuba ineChlamydia ngaphambi kokuba ndiyive. … Awkwaaard.
Njengoko benditshilo, ndaziva ngathi ndingaphantsi kwendoda. Iibhola zam zazibuhlungu. Bendihlala ndikhangela iziphoso. Ndaye ndothuka ukuba ziyancipha. Ndacinga ukuba ndihamba ngethenwa kwaye ii-erections zam zibuthathaka. Isisombululo sam? Ndathetha ngesondo ngalo lonke ixesha. Ndizinyanzele ukuba ndenze inqanaba lokulinganisa kunye nokulinganisa wonke umntu obonayo. Amaqela kum ayemalunga nokunxila nokuncancisa amantombazana. Bahambelana ekuqaleni (mhlawumbi ndinomtsalane, ndingade ndiyitsho; P ...), kodwa bakhawuleza babaleka xa beqonda ukuba ndiyahlanya. Xa ndisekhaya ndisoyika ukungabinamandla. I-erections zam bezithambisa kancinci unyaka, ndaye ndacinga ukuba ndingalala kuphela namantombazana anxilayo angabinakaqaphela.
Kwaye okwangoku, andiqondi ukuba ndinengxaki. Ndacinga ukuba yonk 'indoda yimbonakalo yangaphambili yokuhambahamba koxinzelelo, ukubukela iphonografi kabini ngemini “kuvavanyo” lwayo. Ndandinazo zonke ezinye iingxaki, ubuchopho-inkungu, ubunzima obuqhubekayo bencoko kunye nabantu besini esahlukileyo, ukuzithemba okuphantsi, ukungakwazi ukujonga abanye abantu ngamehlo.
NOLOKO: unxila unxibelelwano nomzala wam. Ndandiqhayisa malunga nokuba ndenze kangaphi na ukuphulula amalungu omzimba okanye shit (eyayindenzela indondo yokuba ndizele yindoda enje nge-testosterone endikuyo) kwaye wathi akaphindanga wank. Watsho sele esenza u-nofap. Ndamhleka. Wanyanzelisa ukuba kubekho izibonelelo. Ndiyibekelele ecaleni, ayinakuba, Ndathi, "YIBONELELO NGOKULANDELAYO!"
-sasiyintoni isidima
Iiveki ezimbalwa zidlulile kwaye ekugqibeleni ndaqonda ukuba ingqondo yam yayingekho kwimeko esempilweni. Ndabona ukuba ndiyagula ngokomoya. Ndingene kukucamngca kukaBuddhist, ukulingana ngokwesini, ndaqala ukufunda uGandhi kwaye namkela isifungo sokungabi nabundlobongela (andikwazi ukuzivumela ukuba ndenze ubundlobongela ngelizwi, ngengcinga, okanye ngesenzo kwaye kufuneka ndibaphathe abantu ngothando nangentlonelo, nditsho nabandenzela kakubi -okanye ubuncinci ndizama ukuzibamba kule mfundo).
Andikholwa ngokwenkolo eqhelekileyo, kodwa ke bendiqala ukubuthandabuza ubomi bam njengoko ndingenantlonelo ngokomoya.
Ndiye ndafika ubuso ngobuso kunye ne-porn yam njengengxaki enokwenzeka. Ndigqibe kwelokuba ukuyibukela kuvumela ubundlobongela obenziwa kubantu basetyhini abakweli shishini. Ndiyiphelisile ividiyo kwaye ndaqhubeka nokuthatha iifoto zobunqunu ezazisoloko ziyifom yam ethandwayo. Ndaye ke ndaqala ukucinga ukuba ukuzimela geqe kwakubakho ngobundlobongela, kuba iyala umfazi ukuba ngumntu ngokupheleleyo. Ikhampasi yam yokuziphatha yayisiqala ukukhula (ndicinga ukuba sele ndikhulile ngemvakalelo yokufikisa) kwaye yayiqala ngokwenyani ngecala lam lokuzingca!
Ndayazi ukuba kufuneka ndiyeke. Ndiyazi ukuba kufuneka ndicime ifolda yam efihlakeleyo yeefoto, kodwa ndiziva ndisoyika ukuphulukana nengqokelela yam (ndingakhange ndicinge ukuba kwakungaqhelekanga ukudityaniswa kubo!). Andikwazanga ukuyenza.
Kwaye, njengabaninzi, ndibukele ividiyo kaGary Wilson. Ndiyenzile, ndayicima yonke i-porn yam. Ndiyekile ukuphulula amalungu esini. Ndabhambathisa ukuba ndingasayi kuphinda ndibukele iphonografi, kuba yayibuhlungu imeko yam yokwabelana ngesondo.
Ke ngoku sekuphele iiveki ezisixhenxe. Khange ndibekeke ukugcina ukubonwa nje. Ndihleli nje. TIziphumo zakhe ziyamangalisa.
- Ndidibana nje nabantu
- Ndivakalelwa kukuba ndinelungelo lokuhamba emhlabeni
- Ndiseluxolweni ngakumbi nam kunye nabanye
- Ndiyakwazi ukuthetha namntu
- Ndisenza ubudlelwane obunokwenyani nabafazi. Babonakala ngathi baziva bekhuselekile kum. Kuba andinazintshukumisa zingaphandle, kwaye ndizingca ngaloo nto!
- Ndineemvakalelo ngoku. Ulonwabo lwam lonwabile kwaye lusizi lwam lusizi. Ndiyakuthanda nokuba lusizi. Kuyandenza ndizive ndiphile.
- Nditsho ndiziva ndikrelekrele ngakumbi, ngakumbi ukubamba incoko kwaye ndizivakalise
- Ndiziva ngathi ndiyinto epheleleyo, eyokwabelana ngesondo. Ndilithenwa elisebenzayo ubomi bam bonke. Ngoku ndikhululekile. Ndijonge phambili kwimini nganye endiya kuyifumana ukuba ndiyaphila.
Ndine-flatline encinci yokomoya kunye nomzuzu kodwa ndiyazi ukuba iya kudlula. Kwaye ndinemvakalelo enye eloyikisayo, ikhwaza ubom bam bonke: KUKHO INDAWO EFANELEKILEYO EMHLABENI, BANINZI ABANTU BABONAKALAYO, ZININZI IZINTO EKUFANELE ZENZIWE, NDIBONISE UTHANDO LWEZOBUCHWEPHESHE LOKUFUNDA IXESHA LAKHO: UKUPHILA KUQALILE
(Ndiyathemba ukuba oko akuvakali njengento ebubudenge) Ke ngoku, ndizama ukuphucula. Ndizama ukuthanda iintshaba zam, ndizithande (ndinemfesane ngoku, hayi i-petroleum jelly: P) kwaye ndihlakulele olu thando luthi ngoku luphalalale kum ngenxa yabathandekayo kunye nabahlobo bam, ekusebenziseni olu thando ngokulungileyo, ekubeni ndiyinyani Nendoda ekhathalayo (ndiyindoda ngoku, tee hee). Ndiqhubekile nokucamngca. Ndigqiba unyaka wam wokugqibela waseyunivesithi (bendisemdleni wokuphuma), ndicwangcisa uhambo lwam ukutyhutyha iYurophu, ndedwa, ndikhangela impilo entle (naphina apho ikhoyo) kulo nyaka uzayo. Ndiza kuzama ukuba ngumculi olambayo yindlala okwethutyana. Kuba, njengoko umprofeti esitsho, "yiphose!"
Ke, kunjalo, ukuba ubambe umbhali omkhulu; U-Irvine Welsh (endinokuvuma ngoku andikaze ndifunde, kuba ndivumile yonke into): NDIKHETHA UBOMI.
Kwaye oko kuzisa kum, reddit. Ukususela ekuqaleni kohambo lwam, bendijonga le subreddit yonke imihla. Inike impembelelo yam. Ngokwenyani, kuye kwandinika into eyimfihlo yokujonga kwikhompyuter yam. Into ekufuneka yenziwe kukungalali ebusuku.
NDININITHANDA, MODOD, UKUQHUTYELWA NGABANTU NGAM NDINELANDELAYO NDININITHANDA, NINABAPHEPHA
Kodwa kufuneka ndikushiye. Njenge-porn yinto engekho mthethweni, yiza nesondo; iiwebhsayithi zokunxibelelana, ziinguqu, zenza ngathi yinguqulelo yonxibelelwano lomntu okwenyani. Iyandikhumbuza impilo yam yakudala kakhulu, ndiyekile ukuyeka.
(Kuya kufuneka ndigcine u-facebook ndide ndigqibe ikholeji- ukunxibelelana neklasi yam, kodwa oko kuyakuhamba nako xa kunokwenzeka)
Kodwa ngaphambi kokuba ndiyeke ukulibala, ndacinga ukuba ndiza kubhalisa le posi. Ukubonakalisa umbulelo wam.
Kwaye ke ndiza kuqhubeka lolu hambo ndedwa, ubomi bam butshintshe ngonaphakade.
Enkosi kakhulu.
Andifuni nokubuyela kwi-PMO ngoku. Ndonwabile ukubukela le reboot yenzeka phambi kwamehlo am.
Ibiyeyona catharsis epheleleyo ebhala oku. Ziphathe kakuhle!
(Ndigcina indlela yokuphila yeNoFap, kodwa ndisuka kude neebhodi zemiyalezo. Ndikhuthaza abanye ukuba bazimanye nam xa ixesha livakalelwa lilungile. Ndicinga ukuba linyathelo elibalulekileyo.)
BYE! Xx
-Umntu ongaziwayo, 23.
TL; DR: ME + NOFAP + NOKUFUNDA + NONVIOLENCE = UMYALEZO WAM WOKUYAZIWA, IINJONGO ZEXESHA KUNYE NONXIBELELWANO LESIBINI NGOBOMI
LINK - Iintsuku ezingama-50 (ish) ngaphakathi, kwaye ndiphuma apha! Umjelo wokuqonda.
by I-OMGMcGee
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