Le isenokuba yithuba elide kodwa esi sisikhundla endinethemba lokuba ngenye imini ndiya kuba nakho ukwenza. Njengoko isihloko sibonisa, uNoFap waphilisa i-ejaculation (DE) yam kunye ne-PIED. Inani lovuyo kunye nokukhululeka endiziva ngoku njengoko ndibhala le post akunakuchazwa.
I-Backstory: Ndiyindoda eneminyaka eyi-23 kwaye ndafika kwiNoFap kunyaka omnye kunye ne-9 kwiinyanga ezidlulileyo kwaye bendizama kwaye ndisilela ukuyeka ukufota kunye ne-porn ukususela ngoko. Ndiqale malunga ne-11 yeminyaka ubudala ukubukela i-porn kunye nokufota. Ndacinga ukuba wonke umntu uyenzile kwaye kulungile. Bendihlala ndinengxaki yokuzamkela nokuzithemba kakhulu kangangokuba andizange ndifunde ukulandela abafazi bokwenyani. Bendingayazi nexesha kodwa bendibeka into yokwenyani.
Ke xa ndandineminyaka eyi-16 ndaba likhoboka leziyobisi kwaye ekugqibeleni ndaba ngumsebenzisi we-heroin. Ndingayenza nantoni na ukuze ndingaphili enyanisweni. Ndicocekile kwiziyobisi kwaye ndicocekile ngaphezulu kweminyaka eyi-3. Ndasebenzisa ukomelela ngokomoya ukwahlula iziyobisi kwaye ndabutshintsha ngokupheleleyo ubomi bam. Ndingumfundi ocacileyo wobalo-mali kwaye ndilahlekile i-65 iipawundi kwaye ngoku ndisempilweni. Ubuhlobo bam nosapho kunye nabahlobo buyalungiswa kwaye ndingqongwe luthando.
Ngale mpumelelo kwaqwalaselwa kwabasetyhini. Ngoku ndandineminyaka engama-21 kwaye ndandizithemba kwaye ndiphumelele. "Uyoyikeka ilungelo!?!?!?" Yile nto bendiyicinga de ndaye ndabona ukuba inkulu ingxaki. Xa ndabelana ngesondo ndaziva ngathi u-ZERO uziva ngaphantsi kwebhanti. Ndiya kuba kwisenzo sesondo ngeeyure kwaye ndingaze ndigqibe. Andizange ndikuqonde ukuba kuqhubeka ntoni kwaye kwandoyikisa.
Intombazana yokuqala yayiyinto endandiyithanda kakhulu kwaye yayineminyaka emininzi kodwa akukho nto. Ndacinga ukuba mhlawumbi kukuxhalaba kokusebenza kodwa ke iqabane emva komlingane kwaye andinakukwazi u-O. Ndaqala ukukhangela i-intanethi ukufumana iimpendulo. Bendifela ngaphakathi. Andizange ndizive ngathi ndiyindoda kwaye ndilahlekelwe ngumdla wesini okanye kwabasetyhini.
Emva koko kwenzeka into ephambeneyo. Ndiyakholelwa ukuba ezinye izinto ebomini zenzeka ngesizathu kwaye lo yayingumzekelo. Omnye umhlobo wam weza nale ndoda ndingazange ndayibona ukusukela kumabanga aphakamileyo kwaye wacela ukuthetha nam ngasese. Bendizibuza ukuba inokuba ufuna ntoni kuba bendiqala ukumazi. Undixelele ukuba akekho omnye umntu onokubuyela kuye kwaye ufuna uncedo lwam ngento ethile endifuna ukuyinceda. Uqale ngokundibuza ukuba ndiphume njani kwichiza kwaye ndicinga ukuba unengxaki yeziyobisi. Emva koko undixelela ukuba wayelikhoboka le-PMO. Bendingazi kwanto ngoku ukuba nam ndihlupheka ngenxa ye-PMO. Ndinamava ngokulutha kodwa andikwazi ukuqonda ukuba ndinomlutha we-porn owawubangela i-PIED.
Ndithethile nomfana phantse yonke imihla iinyanga ndizama ukumnceda kwaye kuyo yonke le nkqubo ukuchaza kwakhe le nto yenziwa ngu-porn kuye ndabona izinto ezininzi ezifanayo kwaye okwesihlandlo sokuqala yandifikela ukuba i-porn inokuba yingxaki yam. Kwinqanaba elisecaleni lo mhlobo akabukeli iphonografi phantse kwiminyaka eyi-2 ngoku. Buyela kum ke ngoku. Lo mhlobo wafumana i-nofap kunye nokomoya ngenxa yeBuddhism eyamncedayo wayeka i-PMO.
Ndizamile ukuyeka iphonografi nokusilela kuba lo gama nje kwakungekho ntombazana ebomini bam ndingakhe ndikhuphe ifamily yokuthoba isizungu. Yonke le nto ibikukuqhubeka kwesizungu sam kuba ukwazi ukuba awukwazi ukwenza umsebenzi olula njengokuziphatha okuqhelekileyo ngokwesini kubulala umnqweno wakho wokufuna ukusondela kubafazi bokwenyani. Ngenxa yoko ndaphelelwa zizakhono ezininzi zentlalo nabantu basetyhini kuba ndiyekile ukuthetha nabo. Yinyani le nto ibangele ukuba ndilahle lonke ithuba lokwabelana ngesondo lokwenyani kuba ndiyazi ukuba ngekhe ndikwazi ukuO. Oku kwandibulala ngalo lonke ixesha kwaye ndiza kufunga ukuyeka. Inkuthazo endikhe ndayeka ukuyeka kwaba kukufumana ithuba lokwabelana ngesondo. Bendingazokwabelana ngesondo kodwa ubengekho u-O kuba andikhange ndibambe thuba lide. Lo mjikelo ukhohlakeleyo uqhubeke phantse iminyaka eyi-2 kude kube kutshanje.
I-Porn yayindihlukanise nabafazi kwaye ndandinesizungu ke ngoko kwaye ndandi fota ukuba ndingaziva ndindedwa njengamntu ndisebenzisa iziyobisi ukujongana nobomi ngoku ndisebenzisa i-porn. Kutshanje ndiye ndagqiba kwelokuba kwanele. Ndagula kwaye ndidiniwe kuba ndisoyika abantu basetyhini nokufihlwa ngasemva kwekompyuter yam. Bendihlala ndiqhuba ubomi bam bonke. Ndaye ndagqiba kwelokuba ndingayeka ukuyi-heroin emva koko ndiyeke nayo. Ndenze isigqibo sokutshintsha. Into ebendisebenzela ngeli xesha ukusebenzisa lo mhlobo ndimncedileyo njengeqabane lokuphendula. Ndincokola okanye ndimthumelele i-imeyile kwakanye ekuseni kwaye kube kanye ebusuku. Olo lolona tshintsho lukhulu lokundivumela ukuba ndifumane istrak sam sangoku. Andizukwazi ukuyekisa mna okanye umhlobo wam phantsi.
Ndasebenzisa ubumoya endibufumeneyo ngokubetha iziyobisi kwaye ndiyisebenzisa kwifayile yam. Ndingaziphepha izinto ezinjengokubeka ebhedini ixesha elide emva kokuvuka kwaye ndijonge nayiphi na imifanekiso eshukumisayo. Ndazijolisa nasekuqaliseni ukuzama ukunxibelelana nabasetyhini kwakhona. Kwakuyindlela kuphela yokuzigcina ndinomdla wokuhlala ngaphandle kwe-PMO. Kwafuneka ndihlale kwisisombululo kwaye inxenye yesisombululo sam yayikukuthetha nabasetyhini.
Ndiza kuphuma nditsho ukuba ndijoyine i-NoFap ukuze ndinyange imiba yam ye-PIED. Leyo yayiyinto endishukumisayo. Nangona kunjalo ngoku ayizizo izinto kum kwakhona. Ndizama ukulala nabo ewe kodwa kungemva kokuba ndenze uhlobo oluthile lonxibelelwano endihlukile kulo elidlulileyo. Ndibajonga njengabantu ngoku.
Ukuthandaza ekuseni nasebusuku ukuba andizukuyifota kuye kwandigcina ndiziphendulisa kuThixo wokuqonda kwam ukuba andizukuphinda ndibuyele. Namhlanje ndibhiyoze iintsuku ze-30. Ndaba nesliphu enye phezulu nangona kunjalo kwiintsuku ezimbalwa ezidlulileyo apho ndibukele khona imizuzu ye-3 ye-porn. Ngokobuchwephesha obu kukubuyela kwakhona nangona ndingakhange ndicofe. Kwezi ntsuku ze-30 ndidibene nentombazana kwaye sinomchiza kwasekuqaleni. Iveki singene kwi-streak yam salala ngesondo kodwa kwakhona akukho O.
Emva koko ngokuhlwanje kwenzeke naye ngomhla wam wama-30 kwaye …… .KUGQIBELELE UKUFUNA KWENZEKA NGOKUQALA KWIBOMI BAM KWAYE KUKHONA KUMANGALISE. Kwakungakaze kwenzeke ngaphambili. Ndabanjwa ngokupheleleyo ngalo mzuzu kwaye ndambona. Umzimba womfazi awuzange ube nefuthe kum. Andizukuphinda ndingene kwiinkcukacha ukunqanda ukubangela kodwa ndiziva ngathi ndiyindoda entsha. Ndikulungele ukubuyela emarikeni kwaye ndiziqhelanise nomdlalo wam. Ndinomsebenzi omninzi ekufuneka ndiwenzile kwisebe kwaye ndisenalo ixhala ekuhlaleni ekufuneka ndilisebenzisile.
I-NoFap indenze ndanyanzelwa kwaye ndibanomsindo kodwa ayiphilanga ixhala lam ekuhlaleni. Ndifumana nje ithamsanqa lokuba amantombazana eze kum nangasiphi na isizathu kodwa ndifuna ukufunda ukuba ngulowo uzithembileyo oya kubo qho ngaxeshanye. Akukho Fap ngokuqinisekileyo yandise ukuzithemba kwam, yandinika amandla angakumbi, imeko ecacileyo yengqondo, yanyanga i-DE kunye ne-PIED yam kwaye yandisela ukuzibamba kwam.
Ukusuka emazantsi entliziyo yam enkosi kule sub
Kuyinto i-4 am kwaye ndingenisa iposi ndicela uxolo ukuba iingcinga endizibhalileyo zidityaniswe ngendlela enomda. Andikwazanga ukulala de ndiyithumele le.
LINK - ENKOSI NGOKUXABULEKILEYO KAKHULU NOFAP. UVULE UKUZE UBOMI BAM BOMDLALO BOMVA. NDIDLULILEYO
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