Ndenze iposti emfutshane yebali lam xa ndandiqala umngeni. Apha, ndifuna ukukuxelela ngakumbi malunga nayo, yintoni etshintshileyo ngexesha leentsuku ze-100 zeziphi izinto kwaye yintoni iinjongo zam ezilandelayo njengoko ezinye iingxaki ziqhubeka.
Ndiye ndafaka ukusukela ndingu 12 kwaye ndibukele iphonografi ukusukela ndandineminyaka eyi-13. Ngoku ndineminyaka engama-26 ubudala. Ebudeni beminyaka ubukhulu beevidiyo endandizibukele zazisanda, kwakungekho nto ingekho mthethweni, kwakungekho nto ingafanelekanga, yayiyinto nje engenamsebenzi kwaye oko kwakuyinxalenye phantasm. Kule minyaka, lo mkhuba wanda ngexesha lokuchitha ubukele iphonografi kunye / okanye ukufakela kwaye yomeleza ulindelo lwam lokuhlangana ngokwesondo, kwaye nento endingayaziyo ngelo xesha, yokuvuka kwam ngokwesondo. Ndifundise ingqondo yam ukuba ilindele ukuba "le" ibe nemincili. Ndiya kufaka ubuncinane kanye ngosuku. Ngamanye amaxesha, kanye emva kweeveki ezimbalwa, bendiya kugcina i-3 kumaxesha e-5 kwangolo suku lunye. Ndingumntu ongenisiwe kwaye ndingumntu oneentloni ubomi bam bonke. Ndandingazithembi, kwaye ndiziva ndiphantsi. Njengokuba konke oku kwakungonelanga, NDI-ADD-PI, kodwa ndingazi ukuba kude kube ngunyaka odlulileyo. Indichaphazele kakhulu ngexesha lesikolo kunye nokunxibelelana kwam kwezentlalo ngenxa yokunyanzelwa kunye nokungakhuli ngokweemvakalelo (okuza ixesha elide ndineentloni kunye nokuzithemba okuphantsi). Bendiyimbiza yokunyibilika 'yokuzibandakanya kwakhona'. Bendingayazi indlela yokuchaza iimvakalelo zam, kwaye bendingazi nendlela yokuziqonda nokuziqonda, ukujongana nazo nokujongana nazo. Ke, ukubambezeleka kunye nobuvila beza. Ndiza kuhamba ngendlela elula: fap. Okanye ubukele iphonografi ngaphandle kokuhluma.
Kodwa ngaphakathi kwam, ndizama kakhulu ukuphuma kule ntolongo. Ndizama ukuqonda endinako, bendisazi ukuba ndinento, kodwa ndingazi ukuba yintoni. Kwafuneka ndifumane umthombo, ukuze ndiwuqonde kwaye ndifumane iindlela zokuyilungisa, ukuze ndizive ndingcono. Okanye ngokulula, yiba ndim. Konke oku kwadala uhlobo oluthile lomsindo, ukuvutha komsindo ngaphakathi kwam okwandenza umntu othetha nabantu, ixesha elininzi kwisimo esibi, uhlala egxeka izinto ezindijikelezileyo, engonelisekanga kwaye engqongqo (izinto bezimhlophe okanye zimnyama ).
Xa ndafumanisa ukuba i-ADD-PI ine-IQ> 99th percentile, ndaziva ndikhululeka kakhulu ebomini bam. Ndiyazi ukuba i-IQ ihambelana, kodwa kunjalo. Ndandinobunzima obuninzi esikolweni kwaye bendihlala ndisazi ukuba ndiyakwazi, kodwa ndingazi ukuba kutheni ndingakwazi ukwenza kakuhle okanye ngcono kunabanye. Olu hlolisiso lundazise ukuba 1. Ndikrelekrele kwaye ke ndiyakwazi kwaye 2. "into" endibambezeleyo ngeli xesha lonke, ngokuyinxenye, Yongeza. Ndinolwazi olwaneleyo lokwazi ukuba ndenzeni kwaye ndisebenze kuyo, kwaye ndenze njalo.
Kwafuneka ndisebenze kukunyanzelwa ngokweemvakalelo, utyekelo lwam lokuzibekel 'amangomso kunye nobuvila, imikhwa yam emibi. Ngamanye amagama, buyisela ubomi bam kulawulo. Kulapho ndaqonda khona ukuba ndinomlutha. Ukutyhilwa ngobuvila kunye nokuzibekel 'amangomso ndiza kusuka nje ndiphume ndiye kubukela amanyala. Njengomlutha wokwenene, bendinomdla wokuqhubeka ndikhangela ezinye. Ukuba bendithanda i-pornstar kuye kwafuneka ndifunde ngakumbi ngaye kwaye ndibukele uninzi lweemovie zakhe njalo njalo. Ndingahlala iiyure ngasemva kwescreen, kude kube yi-2 - 3am, ndikhangela, ndikhangela de amehlo am azokuzivalela. Ndine-900gb ye-porn kwi-HDD yam yangaphandle. Khange ndikwazi ukubukela imovie ngaphezulu kwama-1 ukuya kuma-3 amaxesha, ngekhe iphinde ibenomdla, kwakhona, bendihlala ndikhangela entsha, entsha, entsha, engaphezulu, engaphezulu, engaphezulu. Oku kuchaphazele izakhono zam kwezentlalo, ayikuko ukuba bendinento eninzi, kwaye indithintele ukuba ndisondele kubafazi. Ndandinolwalamano lwam lokuqala ngokwesini kwi-21; Emva koko, okwesibini ndalala, ndandineminyaka engama-24. Ndandinobudlelwane obuncinci emva koko, kodwa ixesha elininzi andinakukwazi ukufumana ukulungiswa, okanye ukuyigcina, okanye i-orgasm ingaphantsi komzuzu. Oku kungongeza umsindo kunye nokudana kwinto esele yakhiwe kule minyaka idlulileyo kwaye ndiza kuyenza indawo kwaye ndibenoburhalarhume; hayi ngakuye umntu kodwa bendiya kuwubetha umqamelo okanye ndiwuphose egumbini ndifunge. Ndikholelwe, iyakoyikisa ikrit ngaphandle komfazi endandinaye. Emva koko ndandihlala nje ebhedini, ndizole, ndiqonde into endiyenzileyo, ndixolise. Babelungile emva koko kuba babesazi ukuba andinguye umntu onobundlongondlongo. Baye bothuka xa bendibona ndisabela ngale ndlela kuba babesazi ukuba ayindim, konke konke. Nam ndinjalo. Oku kwenzeke kabini, ngalo lonke ixesha kunye nomfazi owahlukileyo. Emva kwayo yonke le nto, andinakuphelela ebhedini nomfazi! Ndandisoyika kwaye ndineentloni zokuba ngekhe ndikwazi ukufumana ulwakhiwo, okanye ukuba ndiza kwenza i-orgasm kwimizuzwana embalwa. Ke ndiye ndagqiba ukwakha uxinzelelo kwaye ndaqala ukucinga ngayo yonke into. Yayinguloophi wobubi ungapheliyo.
Ngenye imini, umhlobo wandixelela nge-nofap. Ndifunde malunga nayo ndaye ndagqiba kwelokuba ndithathe umceli mngeni kwiiveki ezi-2 kamva. Ukususela ngoko, andizange ndifake okanye ndibukele iividiyo ezingamanyala okanye imifanekiso. Ndiqale ukuzilolonga, ndicoce emva kwam (igumbi, amaphepha, iimpahla, izitya, ukufundisisa, iintlanganiso) (ayikapheleli kodwa kwinkqubo elungileyo!), Zilungiselele, uzive ungcono, uzolile (umahluko omkhulu!), Ndithembele ngakumbi, ukuzeyisa okungcono. Ndakwazi ukudlala ngothando nabasetyhini kwimivalo nje ngokuzonwabisa, nokuba andizange ndiphele ngamanani abo. Into ebalulekileyo yayikukuba ndiza kubasondela, ndenze intshukumo kwaye okona kubaluleke kakhulu, ndiziva ndizithembile. Emva koko, ndaqala ukubona umntu… bendingenangxaki yokulungiswa, konke konke, eneneni, andinangxaki kwaphela. Ndamangaliswa kwaye ndonwabile kwaye ndizingca! Emva koko ndaqala ukubona omnye umntu (emva kokuphelisa obunye ubudlelwane). Kwinto enye, akukho ngxaki konke konke kulwakhiwo. Ndiza kuthi, ngamanye amaxesha, ndihlale ndakhekile emva kokufezekisa i-orgasm! Oku kwandise i-ego yam> 9000!
Enye yezona zinto zimangalisayo endikwaziyo ukuzenza, endandingazi ukuba ndingakwazi ukuqala ngazo, yayikukuba ne-orgasm ngokucinga ngesondo kunye ne-SO yam ngaphandle kokuzichukumisa, ngokucinga nje. Ndiyenzile le nto kuba undibuze ukuba ndikhe ndayizama le kwaye bendinomdla wayo. ke ngoku ebeyohlamba, ndihleli ebhedini yam ndicinga ngaye kwaye ndizomenza ntoni xa ebuya. Ifuna amandla amaninzi kwaye yathatha intando eninzi ukuze ihlale ijonge kwibali endandicinga ngalo kwaye ndingaphazanyiswa. Kwandithatha imizuzu engama-45 ukuba ndifike kwi-orgasm! Kodwa ndaye ndanzima njengelitye ngalo lonke ixesha. Khange ndikholelwe ndileqe kwigumbi lokuhlambela ndiyokumxelela (ebesosula iinwele zakhe) ndombonisa isidoda kum. Nangona kunjalo, sobabini samangaliswa! Ndizamile elinye ixesha emva kweeveki ezimbalwa ngelixa besisefowunini kodwa saxhoma wandixelela ukuba mandiqhubeke (ngamanye amaxesha sinika iiodolo kunye nezinto okt ukudlala indima, njl.njl. Undithathe malunga nemizuzu engama-30 ngeli xesha.
Ke, kunjalo, ndineenjongo ezimbalwa ezishiyekileyo. Ndiyazi ukuba zinokwenzeka, ndifuna nje ixesha elininzi ukuze ndizifezekise. Enye yazo kukuqhubeka nomceli mngeni we-nofap ixesha elide kangangoko kunokwenzeka. Okwesibini kukuzama ukuphucula "amandla" am, kuba ndisaya kwi-orgasm kwimizuzu embalwa, ngamanye amaxesha <1 umzuzu ngokungena (kunye okanye ngaphandle kokukhuselwa) kodwa ndinokugcina imizuzu engama-20 ukuya kwengama-40 ukuba ndifumana i-blowjob okanye i-handjob. Oku kuyasikhathaza sobabini kuba asikonwabisi njengoko kufanelekile. Ewe, angamelana nayo, "ndingamgqibezela" ngezinye iindlela, kodwa ayifani. Kwakhona, ukuba ndigqiba kufumana i-blowjob kwaye emva kweeyure ezimbalwa sigqiba ekubeni neentlobano zesini ndingagcina imizuzu eyi-15. Into kukuba, andifuni ukufumana i-blowjob ukuze ndikwazi ukuhlala "ngesiqhelo" imizuzu eli-10 ukuya kweli-15. Nazo naziphi na iingcebiso ziyaxatyiswa kuba andikazukuyifumana indlela yokuphucula unyamezelo lwam.
Voila. Nali ibali lam ukuza kuthi ga ngoku. Njengoko ndiyibona, ingu-95% utshintsho oluqinisekileyo ebomini bam. Andizange ndizive ndilunge kakhulu, kwaye ndingazange ndibe kwimeko entle kangaka ebomini bam bonke. Ndiyazi ukuba i-100% ayinakwenzeka, kodwa injongo yam kukunciphisa isikhewu kangangoko kunokwenzeka.
Njengoko ubona, iNoFap ayisiyiyo kuphela into eye yandinceda ukuba ndibuyisele ubomi bam kulawulo, kodwa yinxalenye yenkqubo kwaye akukho mpu melelo ukuba ufumana iziphumo ezinkulu. Ingcebiso yam kuwe, njengoko uChurchill esithi: ungaze unikezele. Thatha inyathelo elinye ngexesha, yiba nomonde kwaye ngexesha kunye nokuzingisa ungafezekisa phantse nantoni na. Kuhlala kuhlala umnyango uvulekile, nokuba zingaphi iingcango ezivaliweyo ebusweni bakho. Kusoloko kukho ithemba, okoko nje usaphila.
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