Ndenze i-nofap / i-pornfree kwi-hardmode kwiintsuku ze-180 zokugqibela. Ndine-1 orgasm ngalo lonke ixesha kwaye yayiliphupha elimanzi ngosuku lwe-14. Esi sisithuba sam sokuqala sohlaziyo ukususela ekubeni ndiqale i-pornfree kunye ne-nofap. Akukho sithuba seentsuku ze-30, akukho sithuba seentsuku ze-90, akukho nto. Ndithintele ukubhala nantoni na kuba ngaphandle kwale mpumelelo yobuqu, iinyanga ezi-8 zokugqibela zibe zezona zibi ebomini bam.
Umtshato wam waphela, ishishini lam ladodobala, yaye andizange ndisazi ukuba ndingubani na. Ndiyakholelwa ngokwenene ukuba i-pornfree kunye ne-nofap sisizathu sokuba ndingenzanga nantoni na ebudenge kwaye ingenakuguquleka ngelixa ubomi bam bonke bebujikeleza kum. Ndifumene le bug entlokweni yam ngale ntsasa ukuba ndilungele ukubhala into kwaye ndothuka kukuqonda ukuba bekuyimini ka-180. Oku akuyi kuba sisithuba esifutshane, ngoko ke akukho biggie ukuba awuyifundi. Ikakhulu yeyam ukuthoba iingcinga zam. Ndiyathemba ukuba abo bakho bayifundayo baya kufumana into eluncedo okanye into ehambelana nawe. Sikunye kule nto.
Ndaqala nge-PMO kwiminyaka yam yeshumi elivisayo (ngokwesondo ndandiyi-bloom kade) kwaye de ndibe ngu-19 yayikuphela kwam. Xa ndijonga emva ndiyabona ukuba amanye amantombazana ebenomdla kum, kodwa ukuzithemba kwam kunye nokuxhalaba kwentlalo akundivumeli ukuba ndikubone. Nokuba bendinokubona ngendandikhuphile ngeloxesha. Ngoko iphonografi kunye ne-masturbation yayiyinto kum. Umfazi wam wexesha elizayo kunye nam saqala ukuthandana xa sasineminyaka eyi-18. Wayeyintombi yokuqala endithandana nayo. Xa sasiqala ukuchacha, ndothuka kuba andizange ndikwazi ukuphakama. Ndandinexhala ngendlela engakholelekiyo kwaye ndinovalo kangangokuba umzimba wam wawuziva uvaliwe ngokupheleleyo engqondweni yam kwaye ndandingaqondi ukuba yintoni engalunganga ngam. Akuzange kube kwiminyaka embalwa edlulileyo apho ndaqonda ukuba i-PMO yayiyinxalenye yengxaki. Ekugqibeleni ndiye ndafumana izinto kunye naye kwaye wayeluncedo kwaye eqonda ngokumangalisayo. Andizange ndiyiyeke i-PMO ixesha elide, nangona kunjalo. Ibikhona kemna xa ndinestress, ndibhorekile, ndingayiboni igf okwexeshana, phakathi evekini ndisekholejini (besiya eskolweni sishiyana ngo 2 hours), nanini na bendiziva. phantsi kwaye idinga indlela ekhawulezayo yokuziva ulungile, ukuba nje okomzuzwana.
Yabangela iingxaki ngesondo. Ixesha elide bendinengxaki yokuba ne-orgasm ngesondo ndedwa. Ndandisoloko ndiphupha ngephonografi ngelixa ndilala ngesondo ukuze ndifike kuvuthondaba. Ngalo lonke ixesha isenzeka loo nto, iintloni endandinazo zaziphantse zinganyamezeleki. Ndinentombazana emangalisayo (enhle, exhasayo, enothando) kwaye kwafuneka ndicingele abanye abafazi ukuba behle ngelixa belala naye. Ibikwe njani lonto? Kulo lonke ixesha lethu lokuthandana (iminyaka eyi-5) kunye nomtshato wethu (iminyaka eyi-7), i-PMO yayisoloko iyingxenye yobomi bam kunye nomthombo omkhulu wecala. Ngaxa lithile kwiminyaka embalwa edlulileyo ndaye ndaxelela umfazi wam ngale nto. Wayebuhlungu kakhulu kodwa ekugqibeleni wayemxhasa. Nangona kunjalo, ndicinga ukuba ndaphelelwa kukuthenjwa kwakhe ngelo xesha kwaye yenye yezinto ezininzi ezikhokelele kuqhawulo-mtshato. Ndakwazi ukuyeka iinyanga ezimbalwa ngelo xesha, kodwa ayizange ihlale. Ishishini lam belithatha lonke ixesha namandla am kwaye belingahambi kakuhle. Istress sam besiphezu kwendlu. Mna nomfazi wam saqala ukuba neentlobano zesini kancinci. Ekugqibeleni, ndabuyela kwimikhwa yam yakudala.
Ngo December walonyaka uphelileyo ndajongana nomfazi wam ndingonwabanga. Ndaziva ngathi uyasuka kum (ebeziinyanga) kwaye ndifuna ukuzama ukwenza izinto kunye. Ebeyeyona nto ingcono ebomini bam kwaye bendingazuhlala ndingenzi nto ngoku sisakhula. Okubuhlungu kukuba, wayesele evakalelwa kukuba sohlukane kakhulu. Ndisenenzondo enkulu kuye ngokungasilweli; ngokulinda ukuthetha nantoni na ade angabinamdla wokucetyiswa okanye azame kwaphela. Ndafumanisa emva kweenyanga ezimbalwa ukuba sele kukho omnye umntu ngelo xesha. Nceda uqonde ukuba uqhawulo-mtshato ngokuqinisekileyo yayingelotyala lakhe ngokupheleleyo: Ndandingambonisi ukuba ndiyamthanda ngendlela anokuthi aqonde ngayo (Nabani na owakhe wafuna ukuba kubudlelwane kufuneka ayifunde le ncwadi, ngokuzimisela, ndiyayithetha. Ndiyakholelwa ngokwenene ukuba iingcamango ezikule ncwadi zinokuwusindisa umtshato wam nangona i-PMO), uxinzelelo lwam kunye nokudandatheka ngenxa yeshishini kwamchaphazela ngakumbi kunokuba ndandicinga, ndandisoyika ukugcina izinto ezibonakala zincinci ejikeleze indlu (ukwenza). izitya, ukucoca, njl.), Ndavumela uxinzelelo lwam ukuba lundenze ndibe nomsindo rhoqo. Ngeliphandle, ndandingemnandanga ukuba kunye. Phezu kwayo yonke lento, zange ndiyibone idivorce. Bendicinga nyani sisabambene ngomqolo. Sonke sineendlela zokuzikhusela kubantu esingabathembiyo, kubantu esingabaziyo, nakubani na esicinga ukuba akanamdla kuthi. Kodwa xa sikholose ngomntu othile, asinakuzithethelela kuye. Xa besivise ubuhlungu, yintlungu engaphaya kwayo nayiphi na into esinokuyibangela omnye umntu. Ndiyazama ukuba ndingazenzi ngokugqithisileyo kodwa ngokunyanisekileyo ndandingazi ukuba ndiyakwazi ukuva intlungu engako.
Ngoko, emva kokuba ndiqonde apho izinto zimi khona, ndaya emsebenzini. Kum. Ndiqale i-nofap kunye ne-pornfree kwakhona (uninzi lwemizamo engaphumeleliyo edlulileyo, ezininzi zihlala ngaphantsi kweveki ye-1). Ndaphinda ndaqalisa ukucamngca rhoqo. Ndaqalisa ukuzilolonga. Ndandisakholelwa ngelo xesha ukuba ndinokuzilungisa izinto. Ndandingalunganga kakhulu, kodwa ngandlela thile loo nto ayizange indimise nge-nofap/pornfree. Nali iqela leengcinga ezingalindelekanga kolu hambo lweentsuku ezingama-180:
- Okokuqala, ndaqala ukuba nempumelelo xa ndandizimisele malunga ne-pornfree kunye ne-nofap ngaxeshanye. Ukuba bendisenza i-nofap, ekugqibeleni bendiziqinisekisa ukuba ndibukele ividiyo okanye i-2 ibingeyonto inkulu. Qikelela ukuba yahlala yaphela njani loo nto. Ukuba ndandisenza i-fapping kodwa ndigwema i-porn, isiqingatha phakathi xa amandla am entando ayephantsi kakhulu ndingacinga malunga nokuba kungcono kangakanani ukuba ndinokubukela into eshushu ngelixa ndiyenza. Ke kum bekufuneka zibe zombini okanye zingabikho, kwaye andiphindanga ndibuyele emva.
- Iintsuku zokuqala ezingama-30 yayizezona zinzima kakhulu. Ndingazibhaqa ndichwetheza i-url enobungozi ngaphandle kokucinga ngayo. Ndandinomsindo ophambeneyo kwiiveki ezimbalwa zokuqala. Emva koko yaba ngumkhwa noxinezeleko olwaphantse lwandibangela ukuba ndibuyele kulo.
- Ndinephupha elimanzi nge-14 kwaye kuphela kwe-orgasm endinayo kwiinyanga ezi-6. Umzimba wam ubonakala uqhelene kakuhle nale ndlela yokuphila, kungenjalo ndiqinisekile ukuba ndingaphupha ngokumanzi ngakumbi ukuze umzimba wam “ucoce imibhobho.” Indothusile ngokwenene le nto. Ndandicinga ukuba ndiza kujongana namaphupha amanzi rhoqo. Ngaphandle kwazo zonke izinto endijongene nazo kule mihla, ndiziva ndilungelelene ngakumbi ngokomzimba, ngokwengqondo, nangokweemvakalelo ukuba ndinobomi bam bonke basemva kokufikisa. Emva kokuba ndifunde ngeKarezza, i-male continence, i-coitus reservatus, njl. Ngendlela ebendiziva kamnandi ngayo kunye nendlela umzimba wam oye waziqhelanisa ngayo nale nto andiboni sizathu sokuyitshintsha kwikamva elibonakalayo. Kuvakala ngathi sisigqibo esifanelekileyo kum okwangoku.
- Amagunya amakhulu? Hayi undigcina ebhadlile noko ngokuzihlonipha ngoku ndidlula esihogweni ubomi bam bonke? Mka yeah. Ndidandatheke kakhulu kodwa ndiyazi ngokuqinisekileyo ukuba ngendibi kakhulu ukuba i-PMO iseyinxalenye yobomi bam. Ndandisoloko ndinentloni emva kwe-PMO, ukongeza kwimvakalelo yokudakumba, inkungu yobuchopho kangangeentsuku, ubunzima bokugxila, ukucaphuka ngokulula ngakumbi kwaye ndinomsindo, njl. ndenze inqanaba elithile xa ndine-orgasm. Kwakumangalisa ukuqonda ukuba kum, i-orgasms iya kuhlala indibeka kumdlalo wam ubuncinane iintsuku ezininzi. Ndandonwabile kwaye ndingenatyala emva kokwabelana ngesondo, kodwa iziphumo ezibi zazikho ngokungenakuphikiswa.
- Amandla "amandla amakhulu?" Ewe. Phezu kwayo yonke into endijongene nayo, ngandlel’ ithile ukuthetha nabantu ongabaziyo kulula. Abantu babonakala bekhululekile ukuba nam. Ndiye ndaxelelwa ngubhuti wam (oyena mhlobo wam osenyongweni) ukuba phezu kwayo yonke ikaka eqhubekayo, ubona ubomi obuninzi kum ngoku kunakuqala, kuquka nobuntwana bethu. Ndikhe ndanabafazi abanomtsalane ngakumbi abaphendula kakuhle kwintetho encinci kwiindawo ezifana nevenkile yegrosari kunangaphambili. Ndiye ndifumana ukudibana kwamehlo ngakumbi, uncumo olungakumbi, njl.njl
- *Iimigca ecaba? Ewe. Ziliqela ezinde nezimfutshane ezininzi. Emva kosuku lwe-20, ndandikwi-flatline ubuncinane iiveki ze-6. Umnqweno omncinci kakhulu, akukho nkuni yasekuseni, njl. Ndingahendwa ngenxa yoxinzelelo, ngenxa yomkhwa, kuba ndandidakumbile kwaye ndifuna ukuziva ndonwabile ngelo xesha, kunye nezinye izizathu ezininzi. Lilonke, okoko ndingazikhathazi malunga neeflatlines zazingeyonto inkulu.
- Abasetyhini bahle kwaye bayamangalisa. Andizifumani nje nditsalwa ngumzimba kodwa ndiyazibuza ukuba banjani njengabantu. Ngaba ngokwenene zinomdla njengoko zikhangeleka? Bendisoloko ndikwintliziyo ecinezelekileyo yothando, kwaye loo ngcinezelo ihamba kancinci. Ndinomdla ekugqibeleni wokuthandana nabasetyhini abaninzi, kodwa kungekhona nje ngesondo. Ndonwabile ukudibana nabantu abaninzi, ndifumanise eyona nto ndiyifunayo, kwaye ekugqibeleni ndifumane umntu ondifaneleyo. Njengomntwana kunye nomntwana ofikisayo ndiphupha emini malunga nokunxibelelana nomntu rhoqo njengoko ndisiba neengcinga zesini kwaye olo tyekelo luye lwandiswa ukuba kukho nantoni na.
- Mna musa ukuphendula abafazi ngokwasemzimbeni ngendlela efanayo ukuba ndandidla. Ngoku incinci into yangasese. Umnqweno endiwuvayo yimvakalelo yomzimba esifubeni sam kwaye iphuma ngaphandle ukuya kumzimba wam wonke. (Inkcazo yam iya kuvakala i-corny ukusuka apha ukuya ngaphandle, kodwa le yeyona ndlela ingcono yokuyichaza) Ndiziva ngathi kuqhushumbo lwamandla okwabelana ngesondo okungabanjwanga. Njengerhamncwa lasendle ngaphakathi endlwini evalelweyo, kodwa mna ndingulowo unaso isitshixo. Xa ndiziva ngolu hlobo ukuzithemba kwam okomzuzwana kuphahla. Ndiyazi ukuba oko ndivakalelwa kukuba kulungile, ndingumntu onesondo ngokwenene, kodwa ndikwalawula ngokupheleleyo. Andiyikunyanzeli ubulili bam, ndiyalathisa nje indlela endifuna ngayo kunye nendlela efanelekileyo kwimeko.
Ke, ndiyaphi ukusuka apha? Ewe, andinanjongo yokubuyela kwi-fapping okanye i-porn. Nanini na. Ndijonge phambili ukwabelana ngesondo sam esizelwe ngokutsha nomntu (okanye abantu abaninzi) endinxibelelana nabo ngokwenene… xa sele ndilungile. Ndisasiva isilingo se-PMO, kodwa okwangoku lilizwi elincinci elibambezelayo ngasemva kwentloko yam. Elona candelo linamandla kum endilikhileyo kwiinyanga ezimbalwa ezidlulileyo livele liyihleke kwaye liqhubele phambili. Ngenene kuvakala ngathi ndiloyisile lo mkhwa, kodwa kusekuko. Ndiceba ukuhlala kwezi subreddits, ndifunde endinako kwaye ndifake isandla endinako. Ndakha kwakhona ubomi obungcono kunye nam obungcono kwiziko labo. Ndingakwazi ukuhlala kwiinyanga ezi-8 ezidlulileyo okanye ndifunde kuzo. I-1 kuphela kwezo zikhetho ezikhokelela kulonwabo. Ngoku kukho ukukhanya ekupheleni kwetonela kwaye ndicotha ndisiya ngakulo.
Ungabuza nantoni na kwaye ndiza kwenza konke okusemandleni am ukuphendula.
LINK - Usuku lwe180 Update
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