Ndiye ndadlala i-masturbating ukususela xa ndandineminyaka eyi-10 okanye i-11 (andikwazanga ukukhupha ngoko). Kwaba xa ndandikwishumi elivisayo ukuba i-intanethi yokucofa yafumaneka.
Ndiyakukhumbula ukuphulula i-porn kwi-porn enokuthi ikhuphe ngokukhawuleza kwaye ndilinde malunga nemizuzu ye-3 nje ukuba umfanekiso omnye ubonakale ngokupheleleyo kwisikrini. Kungekudala emva koko, i-intanethi yesantya esiphezulu yaphuma kwaye ndonganyelwe yinto endinokuyifumana kwi-net. Ngokukhawuleza ukuba ndijonge izinto ezicacileyo, akukho nto ehlabathini eya kundinqanda ukuba ndilahle ibhulukhwe yam kwaye ndiyibethe kwaye oku kunokwenziwa ukuya kumaxesha angama-6-7 ngosuku.
Njengoko ixesha lalihamba ndaziva ndiziva ndingakhuselekanga kum. Kwaba ngathi ndihlala ndiziva ukuba abantu bathetha ngam kwaye kukho eli lizwi langaphakathi lithetha nam ngasemva kwengqondo yam lihlala liqinisekisa izinto ezimbi ngam. Yayiliphupha elibi. Andazi ngenene ukuba ndenze njani ukuze ndifikelele apha ebomini. Ndicinga ukuba yayikukunyamezela okumsulwa kwaye ndandinethemba elithile lokuba izinto zizolunga kodwa ndandingazi ngokwenene ukuba yintoni engalunganga ngam.
Ukusebenzisa kwam iphonografi kuye kwanda ngexesha lam le-20 - 30's (ngoku ndineminyaka engama-31) kwaye ndikholelwa ngokuqinisekileyo ukuba oku kube nefuthe elibi kumfanekiso wam kuba andizange ndibemhle ngamantombazana kwaye ndandineentloni. Ndiyafunga ukuba ndandingabonakali ngeentsuku zam zasekholejini. Ndithetha ukuthi bendiziva ukuba akukho mntu unokundazi ukuba ndikhona. Ngokuqinisekileyo kwakukho imiba ethile ngokwasengqondweni. Ndingasebenzisa i-porn njengendlela yokubaleka. Ndingenza i-masturbate kwi-porn embi kakhulu malunga namaxesha angama-2-3 SONKE.
Nangona kunjalo, andifuni ukungena kwindlela i-porn kunye ne-masturbation eyonakalisa ngayo ubomi bam. Zininzi ezinye iziphumo ezibi kunye neemeko ebomini bam ezibangelwe yi-PMO. Sonke siyayazi loo nto kwaye sikhona ngokwethu. Nangona kunjalo ityala lam libandakanya ngakumbi umbulelo kunye nombulelo ngoGary Wilson, inkosikazi yakhe, kunye newebhusayithi yakhe i-Yourbrainonporn.com. Into endiyithethayo kukuba sifanele sinike umbulelo omkhulu kuye kunye nophando lwakhe olukhutheleyo kunye nokusebenza kanzima ekudaleni iwebhusayithi yakhe kwaye ekugqibeleni sidale ukuqonda ukuba i-porning kunye ne-masturbation ithobisa uluntu lwethu ngendlela yokuba isifo sitshabalalise umntu. Ukuba bekungekho kuye, ndiyakholelwa ngokwenene ukuba intshukumo ye- "NoFap" okanye nayiphi na enye indlela yokuyeka i-PMO ngengazange izalwe okanye ingabi nkulu kwaye kusekho amawaka ethu ahlala ebumnyameni. .
Kwakungekho de ndadibana newebhusayithi yakhe apho ndacinga ukuba i-PMO ilungile kwaye wonke umntu uyayenza. Bendihlala ndicinga ukuba kusenokubakho ithuba lokuba i-PMO iyingozi kum kodwa andizange ndikwazi ukwenza lo mahluko de ndibe ndikhangela isifundo esingaqhelekanga kwaye ngethamsanqa ndakhubeka kwi-yourbrainonporn.com. Ngelo xesha ndandiziva ngathi ndihlala ekhejini ixesha elininzi lobomi bam kwaye kwafika umntu ngokukhawuleza wavula umnyango. Ndakhululwa ngokoqobo. Nje ukuba ndifunde uninzi lwezixhobo (umzekelo iividiyo) kule webhusayithi ndiyekile ukuziphulula amaphambili kwiphonografi ndithathela ingqalelo yonke imiphumo eyingozi eyenze kum ngaphambili.
Ngokumalunga nokuchacha, ndiye ndahamba iintsuku ezingama-73 akukho PMO kwimodi enzima (ndiye ndafumana i-flatline uninzi lwezi ntsuku) kwaye ndaphinda ndabuyela kubusuku bosuku. Njengoko ndandibuyela emva kwaye ndibukela i-porn ndaziva ndiziva engqondweni yam endingazange ndizive ngaphambili. Kwaba ngathi kukho imvakalelo "emile" ejikelezayo entlokweni yam. Kuvakala ukuba yi-psychedelic kodwa andizange ndilahlekise. Ndiqinisekile ukuba inento yokwenza noko uGary Wilson wayekuchaza malunga ne-dopamine kunye ne-neuro-plasticity kunye nokuphinda kufakwe iintambo zobuchopho. Ibingathi yeyona nto ingaqhelekanga emva koba ndigqibile kwaphinda kwavela enye into yokuzonya ndaziva ndilinkunkuma.
Ukususela ngoko ndiyeke ngokupheleleyo kwaye ngoku ngeentsuku ze-125 (imowudi ethambileyo) ndiziva ngathi ngumntu omtsha. Ubudlelwane kunye nomfazi buye baphucuka (owaphantse waphela kuqhawulo-mtshato kwaye lelinye ibali ngokwalo) ngoku ukuba ii-rections zam ziqinile ngokubamba okanye ukuncamisa kuphela kwaye andikhumbuli ukuba kwenzekani nayo nayiphi na intombazana. Andizange ndikwazi ukuyiphakamisa konke ngaphambi kokuba ndiyeke i-PMO kunye nokwabelana ngesondo kubonakala njengomsebenzi wesibini kum. Ngoku ndikhangele phambili kuyo.
Zonke izibonelelo endizibona ziposwe kwiiforam ezinje ngokwandisa amandla, ukuzithemba, intlalontle ngakumbi, ukonwabela izinto ngakumbi, njl. zizinto zonke endizivunayo. Ayisiyiyo loo nto kuphela kodwa ndinomnqweno omtsha malunga nophuhliso lomntu. Ndicamngca yonke imihla. Ndifunda iincwadi ezinje Umda omncinci, Cinga kwaye Ukhule Usisityebi (yenye yezona ncwadi zibalaseleyo zakha zabhalwa kwaye inesahluko esipheleleyo malunga nokudluliselwa kwesondo), ukumamela isandi esikhuthazayo kunye nokwenza ezinye izinto endingazange ndicinge ukuzenza.
Ndiye ndakhonza ngakumbi kwaye ndiyazi ukuba uThixo unembopheleleko ngobomi bam obutsha. Ndikwathabathekile kwaye ndiba nomdla ngakumbi kwingqondo kunye noko ikwaziyo ukuyenza. Uluhlu luqhubeka kwaye luqhubeke. Imvakalelo endiba nayo xa ndicinga ngayo ukuba ndiye ndakhubeka xa ndandikwishumi elivisayo ibuhlungu kangangokuba amazwi akakwazi kuyichaza.
Nangona kunjalo, ndisenombulelo kuba ndifumene ngoku kwaye ndiceba ukufikelela kubo bonke abanokuphelisa lo mkhwa. Into endingathanda ukuba wonke umntu athathe kule post elide kukuba igama lesi sifo esibizwa ngokuba yi-porn kunye ne-masturbation kufuneka sisasazwe kwihlabathi lonke kunye nabantu abafana noGary Wilson (owaphinda wangenelela ebomini bam) ngokuqinisekileyo kunokwenzeka.
Oku kufuneka sikuphathe njengento ebalulekileyo njengoko abaphandi bangqina ukuba ukutshaya kubangela umhlaza. Eyona nto imbi kakhulu ngayo kukuba uninzi lwabantu aluwazi ubungozi obubangelwa yiyo kwaye ke ukuqaphela oko ayisiyiyo kuphela into engenakuthintelwa. Eyona nto incinci esinokuyenza kukuxelela abahlobo bethu okanye abantu esibathandayo kodwa kwisiseko esikhulu kunye noluntu olunje ngeNofap, ekugqibeleni sinokuzisa ukuqonda kwihlabathi lomonakalo obangelwa yi-PMO.
by ubukhulu05
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