Ukubulisa iFapstronauts, lo myalezo ungowakhe nabani na ohamba nge-HOCD. Ndifuna ukukwazisa ukuba ungoyisa, kuba ndiyenzile. Ndikule ndawo malunga nonyaka kwaye ekugqibeleni ndikhubazekile. Kuza kuba lide, kodwa ndiyazi ukuba nabani na ofuna iimpendulo uza kuthatha ixesha lokuyifunda… emva koko ayeke. Ndiza kufika kuloo nto, kungekudala.
Okokuqala, imvelaphi encinci kum. Andazi nokuba ndizanyiwe na okanye ndithini, kodwa bendinenye incanca yomnye umfana emlonyeni wam kwiminyaka eyi-4 kwaye kungenjalo. Ndiyakhumbula ndicinga ukuba kuhle ukubeka umlomo wam kwaye andizange ndicinge kabini malunga naloo nto de ndibe ndihlala kwindawo yama-gay rhoqo. Intombi yam yayi "bi-sex" ngoko ke wayethetha ngobufanasini kwaye umntakwabo wayeli gay naye. Ibali elifutshane bendikhathazekile kuba bendicinga, "kuhle, ngoku kufuneka ndizikhusele kuwo omabini amacala olwandle." Ekugqibeleni ndaye ndayiqonda into yokuba ebezamile ngabasetyhini kwaye ngenye imini, ingqondo yam yaya haywire. Ndaqala ukucinga, "kuthekani ukuba ndiyindoda kwaye andizange ndiyazi." Njengoko ndiqinisekile ukuba uninzi lwenu lunayo i-HOCD. Ndandisoloko ndihlala ndihlala ubomi bam bonke kwaye ndaqala i-PMO kwiminyaka eyi-12. Ndiye ndaye ndaza ndaza ndaza ndaza ndaza ndaza ndaza ndaza ndaza ndaya kwi-6 iiyure + ngaphambi kokuba ndide ndifike. Imifanekiso engamanyala yokugqibela eyandenza ndacinga, "OMG NDINGAQHUBA NDIBE GAY," yayilulawulo olungamanyala olwabhinqileyo ababhinqileyo apho umntu owayengumntu owayethabathayo wayeyifumana ngentambo. Emva koko ndacinga, kakuhle ukuba ndiyintombazana, ndingajonga kwakhona i-porno engamanyala, engaphumelelanga kuba oko kwakungavusi. Emva koko ndaya kwi-porn shemale engaqhelekanga eyandenza ndangumntu… ngelo xesha. (Ndiza kufika kule nto) ndakhululwa. Isenokuqwalaselwa njengomntwana othe ngqo kodwa yaphosa i-HOCD yam kwisenzo esipheleleyo. Bendibhidekile tbh.
Ngeli xesha ndifuna ukucacisa into. Ndandihamba nalo mkhwa, uxinzelelo, uxinzelelo, i-OCD, kunye nolwalamano olubi. Ngeli xesha ndandiba namava obumnyama kuluntu lwase-gay rhoqo. Andizukuya kwiinkcukacha kuba andazi ukuba ngubani ojonga le bhodi. Masithi nje, ukuba yaqala ukundenza ubundlobongela njengobungqingili, into endingazange ndibe yiyo. Bendingafuni nokuba ngabantu abathandana nabantu abathandana besisini esinye, ndiye ndaba nje ngenxa yento endiyivelileyo. Ndaya ke kugqirha wengqondo owayelibhinqa. Ndamchazela izinto kwaye wathi eyona mpendulo bendiyilindele, "awukhuselekanga ngokwesini sakho." Makhe ndikuxelele into ethile, akukho mntu uqondileyo okanye isitabane, kufuneka abone izenzo zesondo phambi kwabo kwaye apholise ngokupheleleyo, akulunganga kwabanye abantu. Ixesha. Ndiyekile ukumbona ndabe ndiqonda ukuba kuzofuneka ndiyicinge ngokwam. KwakungoMatshi walo nyaka.
Ndadandatheka kakhulu. Ndilahlekelwe yiyo yonke into enomdla kumantombazana, ndaba noxinzelelo kumadoda. Bendicinga ukuba ndiyawathanda amadoda, kodwa bendisazi ukuba ikhona into engalunganga. Ingqondo yam yayiza kutshabalalisa ngokukhawuleza iingcamango zesini phakathi kwabantu. Kwakungakhathali nokuba ngubani, ibingoyena mntu mdala kunabo bonke emhlabeni kwaye nengqondo yam ibisaya kuyenza loo nto. Ndilahlekelwe ubudlelwane bam nentombazana entle endandikunye nayo ekugqibeleni kuba bendihlala ndinomsindo okanye ndingakwazi ukugxila kwinto ngaphandle kwe-OCD yam. Ndine ezinye iintlobo ze-OCDs kodwa le yayiyeyona imbi kakhulu.
Ngenye imini ndaye ndagqiba kwelokuba, yibambe. Ndidinga amayeza, ndiyazibulala, andinamdla kwinto, kwaye ndiziva ngathi andisenamandla okuzilawula. Ndithathe ke uCelexa 20mg. Khange incede tu… ekuqaleni. Ngenye imini ndavuka kwaye ekugqibeleni ndingacinga. Ekugqibeleni ndaye ndaqonda ukuba andizange nditsaleleke ebantwini konke konke, kwaye enyanisweni, ndandikhe ndadlula kwinto ebuhlungu xa ndandisemncinci kwaye ndifumana amava ebomini bam ngokunxulumene namadoda awayengalunganga. Utata-utata wam wandibiza ngokuba fagot kuba ndiza kuhlala kwizindlu zabahlobo bam ukuze ndihlale. Ndabizwa ngokuba li-gay kunye nefagot ebomini bam kwaye kungenxa yokuba ndinxibe ijean encinci kwaye ndingamameli uKorn okanye ikaka ethile. Ibali lokwenyani. Amanye amantombazana endandiwathanda ayecinga ukuba ndiyisitabane kuba ndandinxiba kakuhle. "Ngokucacileyo indoda ezizikhathaleleyo kufuneka ibe li-gay, i-herp derp." Ndiye ndazimela. Xa ubuchopho buqala ukuntywila nam ngalo lonke ixesha. Ukuba ndenze into kunye nentombazana endithandana nayo, iyakucinga, "Hayi man nantsi ingcinga yindoda, ufuna ukuncanca iqhude?, Mmm ushushu kakhulu." Zonke izinto endizaziyo ziyinyani. Ngapha koko luhlobo oluhlekisayo.
Ke ndafumana i-YBOP kwaye ndaqala ukufunda ngaphandle kokuphelelwa lithemba, ndafumana iPlanethi yeNeurotic, kwaye ndafunda lonke uphando lwengqondo malunga nobufanasini kwaye mandikuxelele into. AKUNCEDI. INDLELA YOKUBONISA UKUHLEKA. Uqhubela phambili uqhubeka noxinzelelo lwakho ngaloo ndlela. Kukho umahluko omkhulu phakathi koxinzelelo kunye nomtsalane. Bendihlala kude nemithombo yeendaba yeLiberal (Ungaphambana ukuba uyafuna kodwa mamela nje) kuba xa ndifunda izinto malunga nobufanasini njlnjl, wonke umntu uvele athi, “ngubani okhathalelayo umntu, zama nje ubone ukuba uyayithanda na. Ukwabelana ngesondo yinto ebonakalayo. njl njl. ” Makhe ndikuxelele into, ayisiyonyani leyo. Makhe ndichaze, hamba uxelele nayiphi na indoda eyinyani eyinyani ukuba iye kulala nabantu basetyhini. Iyakuba yintoni impendulo yabo? Hayi ngoba? Kuba bathanda amadoda. Yiya uxelele nawuphina umntu othe tye ukuba aye kulala nomntu oyindoda. Impendulo yabo iya kuba hayi kuba bathanda abafazi. Kuyafana nabafazi. Nangona kunjalo kukho izinto ezenziwa ngokwesini. Bathanda ukulala ngesondo nabo bobabini. Ayinanto yakwenza noluntu. Umbutho awunyanzelanga mntu ukuba enze into ethile, nto leyo indizisa kwinqanaba lam elilandelayo. Umgqirha wam omtsha wandixelela oku. Akukho mntu unokukunyanzela ukuba ukholelwe nantoni na. Xa yayitshonile, ndaqonda, andinguye umntu athandana naye, nokuba bangaphi abantu abafuna ukuzama ukundixelela ukuba ndinguye, okanye ndikhanyele, okanye bendicinga ukuba kufuneka ndibe njalo, bendihlala ndithe tye, Ndihlala nditsala kwifom yabasetyhini, ndiyabuthanda ubuntu bomfazi, kwaye ndiza kufa ndikuthanda oku. Kuyafana nomntu osisitabane. Ukuba kukho nantoni na, uluntu kum luthi hamba uhlale nabani na omfunayo, umfana okanye intombazana, kwaye ubambe nje. Makhe ndikuxelele into. SUKU. Ndihlala kwimeko yenkululeko kwaye ndihle kakhulu ndenza nantoni na oyifunayo yindlela yokuphila, kodwa umntu one-HOCD ukuba aye kuba nee-dudes akazukunceda, mhlawumbi awuyi kuthanda kwaye uya kuba namava ingxaki yesazisi yokuzibandakanya ngokwesini. Andizukuxoka, ingqondo yam iphantse yaya apho, kodwa bendisoloko ndisazi emazantsi andikaze ndiziva ngaloo ndlela. I-OCD yidemon yengqondo, kodwa inokoyiswa. Ndizokuyiphelisa le nto ngokudwelisa iindlela zokunceda abo kuni baphunyezwe yile nto.
- Ukuba ujonge i-Shemale ye-porn / ye-gay ye-porn / ye-bi-ngokwesondo yamkela. Oku kuvakala kunzima njengokundithemba, kodwa xa usenzile, kulula ukubona ukuba uyayithanda okanye awuyithandi. Mhlawumbi ubunomdla wokufuna ukwazi? Okanye uphathwe kakubi ngabantu besini esahlukileyo, okanye unengqondo evulekileyo kwaye ufuna ukuphonononga, kodwa kufuneka uyamkele into oyenzileyo, nokuba iyachasa.
- Akukho mntu, kungekhona isazi sezengqondo, kungekhona umhlobo, kungekhona iwebhusayithi, unokuxelela ukuba ungubani. Oku kubalulekile ukuqonda ngokupheleleyo. Ingqondo yakho iya kwenza izinto zibe ukwesabisa wena, ukuzama ukukugcina ungenzi nantoni na ebomini bakho. Qaphela oku kukuxhalabisa kwaye kungekhona ukucinga kwangempela
- SUKUMAMELE umntu othi kuya kufuneka uyokuzama izinto zesini. Oku kunokuba yimpikiswano kodwa andikhathali. Ukuba uthe tye ubomi bakho bonke, uya kuhlala uthe tye, akukho sidingo sokudlula kwingxaki yesazisi. Iya kukuthintela kuphela, kwaye iyafana nabantu abangama-gay ngokwenene, abafuna ukuzama ukuba tye. Uya kuphelisa ukuwacaphukela amaqabane akho kwaye ayisiyonto yomntu othe tye okanye osisitabane ngokwenene.
- Yeka ukukhangela iimpendulo kwi-intanethi. Ithetha ntoni le nto? Sukuya kwiiforum, sukujonga i-HOCD, ungabuzi nabani na ongungqingili okanye othe ngqo ngayo. Yiyeke. Uyenza mandundu ngakumbi ngokufuna iimpendulo. Ndithembe, bendisoyika ukuba ndizotshintsha ngonaphakade. Ndandisoyika ukuba, "I-OMG IM IYA KUBA GAY." Ngenye imini, ndiyekile ukunikezela. Ndayeka ukufunda, ndayeka ukucinga ngako kwaye ndacinga ukuba yintoni, ukutsala kwam abafazi kwabuyela ngamandla kwaye ndakwazi ukuza kule nto. Oku kuzisa kwinqanaba lam lokugqibela.
- Ixhala sisilo. Kodwa iyakwazi ukuthanjiswa. Iya kukwenza ukholelwe izinto ezingeyonyani, kodwa kuya kufuneka uqaphele ukuba konke kuphenjelelwe nguwe. Nguwe obangela oko. Iimeko zinokukwenza ukuba ziphume ngakumbi kodwa ulawula. Makhe ndibeke nje kuwe ngolu hlobo, u-homophobia wam uhambile, ubuyele kwindlela endandihlala ndicinga ngayo, ewe, kukho abaphambukayo kwiqela ngalinye labantu, oko akuthethi ukuba wonke umntu uphambene. Ndiyathandwa kakhulu ngabasetyhini kwaye ndihlala ndihlala njalo. Ngoku kushiyeke ntoni? Umlutha wamanyala. Leyo yinto yokugqibela esele. Ingcebiso yam kuye nabani na ohamba noku, yeka iphonografi. Kuyanceda, ungakholelwa ukuba zithini ezinye iingcali malunga nesondo, zithembele. Oko kubhenela kwigunya nokuba kwenzeka ntoni NGENDLELA yokubuyela kwi-reddit. Hlala kude reddit nayo. Zinike ithuba lokuba ucinge kwaye uphilise. Kungenzeka ukuba bafana. Akukho mntu wayenokundixelela ukuba ndiyisitabane ngeli xesha kuba ndiza kuhleka iesile lam. Ukuba ikhona into, le indenze ndomelele ngakumbi kunangaphambili. Qaphela ukuba i-OCD kunye nezinye izifo ezinxulumene noxinzelelo ziluncedo kakhulu kunenye into.
I-TL: DR-Ndoyisile i-HOCD, ndiqonda okuninzi malunga nezifo ezinxulumene noxinzelelo, akukho mntu unokukuxelela ukuba ungubani okanye uza kuba ngubani. Kukho umahluko omkhulu phakathi koxinzelelo kunye nomtsalane. Konke oku kuyakutyhila into enzulu kunokuba iphonografi uqobo kodwa uqonde ukuba akunakwenzeka ukuba ungene kwinto ongeyiyo, nokuba uyenza ngandlela thile, usengozini yesazisi. Ilula ngokwenene, ukuba ulifanasini, ulifanasini, ukuba uthe tye, uthe tye. Ekugqibeleni ndiza kuyicima le akhawunti kodwa ndiza kuba lapha kwiintsuku ezimbalwa ukuphendula imibuzo anokuthi abenayo nabani na. Ndifuna ukunceda abanye, kuba ndiyazi ukuba kunjani kwaye wonke umntu kufanelekile ukuba afumane uncedo ukuba unengxaki.
LINK - I-HOCD, ndikukhubaze. Lo mntu ufuna uncedo. Uluhlu ngezantsi ukuze uncede.
by trowaway456
IMIBUZO NGOMSEBENZI OQHELEKILEYO:
Bendihlala ndisebenzisa iGoogle HOCD yonke imihla, kodwa ibangele ukudideka kakhulu kuye kwafuneka ndiyeke. SUKUJONGE naziphi na iinkcazo zobufanasini okanye okanye ukholelwe kwinto oyifundayo ngobufanasini. Ndenze yonke into ongafanelanga ukuba uyenze. Ekuhambeni kwexesha, uya kuba nakho ukufunda amabali aphumayo kwaye uqaphele ukuba yayingenguwe. Awukabikho phofu. Ukho apho ndandikho kwiinyanga ezili-6 ezidlulileyo okanye kunjalo. Ewe, kuthatha ixesha elide ukudlula, andizukuxoka kuwe. Khumbula into enye, ayikukhanyeli! LEYO yayiyeyona nto kunzima ukuba ndiyiqonde. Ukuba uwathandile amantombazana, bendihlala kunye namantombazana, kwaye ucinga kuphela ngamantombazana. Kuza kuhlala kunjalo. Ngoku nantsi isizathu sokuba i-OCD ikhohlise. Ingqondo yakho ikwindawo engaqhelekanga kwaye imiqondiso yakho ayitshisi ngokuchanekileyo. Kuya kufuneka uyamkele into yokuba ungaba li-gay. Oko kuvakala ngathi kuyaphambana, ndiyazi, kodwa ayisiyiyo. Okukhona ulinde ukuba wenze into malunga nayo iba mbi ngakumbi. Ndikholelwe. Thatha le ncwadi kwaye ucacisele ugqirha wakho ukuba kwenzeka ntoni. Ukuba bakuxelele ukuba usisitabane, zibuze ukuba yile nto uyifunayo. Ukuba akunjalo, fumana ugqirha owaziyo malunga ne-OCD. Kananjalo musa ukufumana unyango olusoloko lukuqinisekisa. Oko akunakunceda. Apho ndikhoyo ngoku, ayisiyi-100% ihambileyo kodwa intle kakhulu. Ndiyakwazi ukugxila ebomini.
INDLELA:
ibhalwe kakuhle-ndingumntu osisitabane (kulungile, 80/20 gay / bi) kwaye ndiyazibulela iingcinga zakho kunye nenyaniso oyibhalayo. Yiba nentandabuzo malunga nokuxelelwa ngomnye umntu malunga nokuba ungubani-thatha oko kufanelekile - uluvo lomnye umntu- ayiyonyani!
Enkosi ndoda, ndiyayixabisa loo nto. Ngokwenyani oko kuthetha lukhulu ukuba uyaqonda. Into ngabantu abangenangxaki ngoluhlobo abayikuyifumana. Ndifuna ukunceda abanye abakwingxaki efanayo ngengqondo endiyicingayo. Kulungile ukuba uzive ukhululekile kulusu lwakho kwaye ekugqibeleni ndiziva ngathi ndinjalo kwakhona. Ngenye imini xa uluntu luyeka ukukhathalela isini, sinokwazi ukugxila kwizinto ezibalulekileyo. Ndiziva ndisisidenge ngenxa yokuzixakekisa ngayo kakhulu kodwa ke luhlobo lwerhamncwa olo. I-OCD isisidenge ngokoqobo.
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