Oku kuya kuba sisithuba eside apho ndiza kuphula amava am nge-nofap, ndinike izimvo zam kwisalathiso soluntu lwe-nofap, izimvo zam malunga ne-porn kunye nesondo, kunye nantoni na enye ethi qatha engqondweni. Ndiyathemba ukuba yindlela eluncedo kwaye ekhanyiselayo kwabo bathatha isigqibo sokufunda esi sithuba sam.
Ndazixelela kwasekuqaleni uba ndike ndafikelela kwi90days ndizokwenza ipost enje nanku ke. Nantsi into…
Andikholelwa ukuba ndiyenzile. Iintsuku ze-90 ze-nofap. Ndibe yinxalenye ye-nofap yeentsuku ze-270 kwaye bendizama ngokunyanisekileyo ukuba ndingafaki malunga ne-230 yezo ntsuku (ngoSeptemba ndaphosa i-nofap ngaphandle kwefestile kwaye ndazama ukuhlaziya i-masturbate phantsi kweemeko ezilawulwayo, kodwa ngakumbi emva koko). Amanani anele, makhe ndibuyele ekuqaleni kolu hambo kwiintsuku ezingama-270 ezidlulileyo.
Ndiqale uhambo lwam lwe-nofap malunga ne-3 ka-Epreli. Ndabona intetho yeTEDX kwaye ndanomdla. Khange ndiyithenge kwangoko kwaye ndaskena ukuhlelwa kwakhona kwe-nofap. Emva phaya kwakumalunga ne-10,000 yokuphinda kuphinde kuphinde kubekho imisonto kunye nezimvo ezothusayo. Ndagqiba ekubeni ndizame. Bendisandokuziphulula amaphambili amatyeli amaninzi ngemini ndazibuza ukuba “kutheni ndiyenza le nto, ayisaziva kamnandi” kwaye ndigqibe kwelokuba ndizame i-nofap. Xa sijonga umva ndifake into ebesiyibiza ngoku “hard mode”. Emva phaya ndandiba nobudlelwane namantombazana ambalwa kunye neqaqobana le-flings (umsebenzi wesondo-ish kodwa hayi ubudlelwane). Kwakusele kudlule iminyaka emi-2 okokugqibela kwam ukubamba intombazana. Ukuphulula amalungu esini kwakukuphela kwendlela yam yokwabelana ngesondo. Bendisancokola ne ex yam ndingathi siqale “emotional” ukuthandana.
Ngaphambili ndandicinga nge-porn kunye ne-masturbation. Ndakhe ndayibona "ingqondo yakho kwi-porn" kwiminyaka eyadlulayo kwaye ayizange ifakwe kuyo. Ndifumene i-porn kunye ne-masturbation ngokwahlukileyo kwaye andikhumbuli kakuhle xa ndidibanisa zombini. Ndiyakholelwa ukuba ndibone i-porn kuqala kwindlu yabahlobo ebusuku. Ezinye izinto ezithambileyo kwi-cinemax. Ndaqalisa ukuziphulula ndingaziva kodwa ngelixesha ndandingekaqali ukufikisa. Ekugqibeleni ndazibona sele ndiziphulula ngoxa ndidlala imidlalo “yokukhulula” kwindawo entsha. Oku kundikhokelela ekubeni ndifumane iphonografi ye-intanethi ephantsi kwaye ngenye imini ndadlala ngempazamo kwaye ndoyika (kuba andazi ukuba kwenzeke ntoni). Esi yayisisiqalo semikhwa yam kwaye kwakungekuba ndibe nentombazana yam yokuqala ekholejini apho ndathetha ngokukhululekileyo nabani na ngokuphulula amalungu esini. Khange ndithethe namntu ngalonto. Ndaziphulula amaphambili phakathi kwe-1 kunye ne-7 amaxesha ngosuku, yonke imihla. Kunqabile ukuba ndithathe usuku lokuphumla. Xa ndandisaqala ekholejini ndenza isivumelwano ngokwam ngokwasengqondweni ukuba ndingajongi iphonografi kwilaptop yam (ukuze ndiphephe iintsholongwane kwaye ndiyigcine “icocekile”). Ndagoduka phantse zonke iimpelaveki zindinika 4 okanye 5 iintsuku zeponografi ukuba ndijonge phambili. Kodwa endaweni yokwenza abahlobo abatsha, ukudibana nabantu, ukonwabela ikholeji ndazifundisa ukwenza i-masturbate ngaphandle koonografi kwiinguqulelo ezicingelwayo zamantombazana adlulileyo. Ngokukodwa intombazana enye.
Xa ndandikwinqanaba eliphezulu kwisikolo samabanga aphakamileyo ndadibana nentombazana eyaba yintombazana yam “esigqitho”. Besingabahlobo kodwa ubuntu bethu bebungahambelani. Ngokwasemzimbeni, ngelo xesha, andizange ndidibane nomntu onomtsalane (amabhulu amakhulu kakhulu kwaye abhityileyo). Waba yintombazana yokuqala endaziyo ukuba ndaphulula amaphambili. Mhlawumbi ndiphulukene nesona sidoda kuhlobo lwentelekelelo yale ntombazana kunaye nawuphi na omnye umntu wokwenyani okanye iphonografi. Kwaye inxalenye ebuhlungu kukuba bendisoyika kakhulu ukuzama ukuba nobudlelwane naye kwaye ngoku ixesha lihambile, asisabahlobo. Ukwaphula ubudlelwane nale ntombazana yobuxoki entlokweni yam iya kuba yenye yeenjongo zam eziphambili ze-nofap. Ndizakukhankanya ukuba kulo nyaka wam ukusukela kwisikolo samabanga aphakamileyo ndidibene namantombazana ebenomtsalane ngakumbi kunale gqiyazana, ndade ndakwazi ukudityaniswa nelinye lawo, kodwa bendisoloko ndiphela ndibuyela kule ntombazana kwimikhwa yam yokuphulula amalungu esini. Ndizamile ukumsusa entloko phambi kwe-nofap kodwa andizange ndikwazi. Ukusukela oko ndiqale i-nofap ndiye ndakwazi ukuqhawula iqhina lobuxoki kwaye andinamdla wokubuyela kuloo mhlaba wephupha.
Ke oko kuzisa kwi-nofap. Ndahamba iintsuku ezingama-37 ngaphambi kokutshayisa. Ndiye ndaqhubeka ndihamba malunga neentsuku ezili-10 ngexesha, emva koko 9, 8, 7 ngaphambi kokuba ndiqale ukwenza i-masturbate yonke imihla kwakhona. Andizange ndikwazi ukudlula iintsuku ezili-13 kwaye emva kothotho lwemihla embi kwaye akukho luck konke konke kunye nabasetyhini i caved ngoSeptemba kwaye ndaphulula amalungu esini njengesiqhelo kwakhona. Andizange ndibe namandla kuphando lwam kwaye ndazama ukungaziphululi amaphambili ixesha elide xa ndisenza. Ekugqibeleni ndifumene i-1 ka-Okthobha kwaye ndathi kum, akusekho. I-masturbate ayiziva kakuhle kwaye inyanisekile nokuba zonke ii-nofap "superpowers" ziyi-bullshit, ndifumana le mizuzu ye-30 ichithwe ndifuna usuku lokuchitha kwenye into. Ukususela ngoko andizange ndiphulule amalungu esini kangangeentsuku ezingama-90. Izinto ezininzi zitshintshile kwaye ndiyakholelwa kwi-nofap superpowers kodwa hayi ukuya kuthi ga kwinqanaba lokuba abantu abaninzi bathethe apha (abazukutshintsha ubomi bakho).
Kwasekuqaleni (emva ngo-Epreli) ndifumene itoni yamandla kwaye ndaba nemveliso kakhulu kunye nokucinga kwangaphambili. Sayeka ukuthetha nomntu wam. Ndaqala ukutshintsha ingqondo yam malunga nokuthandana. Ubuchule bam bomzimba ngokumalunga nemidlalo baphucuka. Ndomelele, ndikhawuleze, kwaye ndilumke ngakumbi (ndiyimbaleki kwaye amaxesha am anda kakhulu ngo-Epreli). Ukususela ngoko ndiye ndawathanda amantombazana. Ndithetha ngakumbi kwaye ndiphaphile. Ndingumzobi kwaye ndinokuqonda okunamandla kwenkuthazo yam xa kuziwa kumsebenzi wam, ngoku ndifumana uhlobo olutsha lwenkuthazo xa ndithetha nabasetyhini abanomtsalane ngokwasemzimbeni.
Ndizamile isandla sam ekudibaneni nabasetyhini ngeendlela endingazange ndicinge ukuba ndingaze ndizame. Ndikhe ndaya imivalo, amatheko, kunye online ukuthandana . Ndidibene nabasetyhini kuzo zonke ezi ndlela kwaye bendikwimihla emininzi. I have kissed my first girl in 2 years ndalala nayo(literally slept in the same bed, khange silale, I must know someone for a few months before I do that). Ukuba undixelele ngo-Epreli ukuba ndiza kusondela ngokwasemzimbeni kumntu ekwindla ngekhe ndacinga ukuba uyadlala.
Andiqondi ukuba i-porn imbi ngokwendalo. Ndicinga ukuba abafana ababi njengathi bakhuliswa ukuba bakholelwe ukuba i-masturbating kwi-porn yinto yendalo xa ingekho. Ukukwazi ukwenza i-masturbate kunoma yimuphi umntu obhinqileyo ofunayo akuyondalo. Ndivakalelwa kukuba abanye abafana banokuyiphatha kwaye kunokwenzeka ukuba bangcono nge-porn ekhoyo kodwa hayi mna. Andiqondi ukuba ukuphulula amalungu esini kubi nako. Ndiye ndakwazi ukubona imathiriyeli ye "porn" esique kwiintsuku ezingama-90 ezidlulileyo (ezifana nemiboniso evela kwi-Orange yeClockwork) kwaye ingavulwa. Ngenene ndize ukujonga abasetyhini ngokwahlukileyo kwaye ndibona uhlobo lobufazi ngokwahlukileyo. Ukwabelana ngesondo kum kutshintshile kwaye ndiziva nditsalwa ngakumbi kubafazi bokwenyani. Mhlawumbi ndiye ndaziqalisa ngokutsha.
Xa ndiqala i-nofap zonke izimvo zazilungile kwaye ziluncedo. Kwakusoloko kukho inkcazo enye kwiposi nganye kwaye yayihlala ilungile ngoku. I-Nofap ukusukela ngoko yayifumene ukuthandwa. Nje ukuba i-memes ivele kule subreddit ndiyeke ukuza apha rhoqo. Kungekudala zangena iimbono ezihlekisayo. Inkolo yaqalisa ukubhenela kwindlela yayo eya kwindawo ebalaseleyo nakwimidlalo yakutsha nje kunye neminye imisebenzi “yokuphulula amaphambili ngengqondo”. Andivumelani namaziko enkolo kwaye andikholelwa kuthixo kodwa andikholelwa ukuba le subreddit yeyona ndawo yengxoxo. Yindawo yenkxaso. I-Nofap imalunga nokuphulula amaphambili, andicingi ukuba imidlalo yevidiyo inendawo apha. Ewe kuyenzeka ukuba likhoboka lemidlalo kodwa oko akwahlukanga kunawo nawuphi na omnye umsebenzi onokuthi ube likhoboka lawo. I-Fapping ichaphazele zonke iinkanuko zethu zesini, amandla ethu engqondo, kwaye kwezinye iimeko amandla ethu okufumana ii-erections. Hayi nokuba yeyiphi na, into endiyithethayo kukuba ndiyavuya ukuba i-nofap ifumene ukulandelwa okukhulu kwiintsuku ezingama-270 ezidlulileyo kodwa andiluthandi uhlobo lwezithuba ebezivela rhoqo kwaye ndoyikela ikamva.
Lilonke ndinokuthi i-nofap ibe luphawu oluhle kakhulu ebomini bam. Andithethi ngayo nakubani na, luhambo lwam lobuqu (ndiye ndayikhankanya kwintombazana esebhedini kwaye yothuswa kukuba ndihambe iintsuku ezingama-60 ndingakhange ndifune). Sonke sinokuthi enkosi kwi-nofap kunye noluntu kunye nevidiyo ye-TEDX. Ibutshintshile ubomi bam kwaye ndiziva ndisenza utshintsho kwikamva. Guqula ube ngcono.
Kukho enye into endiyenzileyo malunga ne-nofap ukuba ndithe ndafikelela kwiintsuku ze-90, yayikukuba andisayi kuphinda ndindwendwele i-subreddit. Ndisenako ukudlula ndithumele okanye ndijonge iinombolo zam. Andicebi ukwenza i-masturbating kwakhona. Ukuba ndikhe ndabuyela kwimikhwa yam yakudala ndiyazi ukuba ndizakuphinda ndamkeleke apha. Ukuba le ndawo ayisekho ngexesha lokuphinda ndibuyele kwiinjongo endizifundiswe ngunofap. Ukuzibamba. Ukunyamezela. Kwaye sizabalazela usukelo olusondeleyo olungenakwenzeka. Ndicinga ukuba yiyo yonke into endinokuyithetha okwangoku.
Sala kakuhle, ubuzalwana be-nofap!
LINK - Iintsuku ezingama-90. Ndiyenzile. Ndingcono ngayo. Enkosi nofap!
UPDATE
Ndajikeleza iintsuku ze-130 ngaphandle kokufafaza kodwa malunga nenyanga edlulileyo ndaphinda ndabuyela. Ndibuyela kwi-nofap kuba i-masturbation yam ibuyele kwimikhwa yangaphambili ye-nofap. Bendizixelele ukuba ndizoyeka kodwa khange ndiyeke. Kudala ndibukele i-porn kwaye ndaqaphela ukuba ndichitha ixesha elininzi ndikhangela izinto eziphathekayo kwaye ndineseshini ezininzi ze-splurge ngosuku. Ndiqale ndalala noxa bendingafuni nokulala. Iseshini yefap efana naleyo yandikhuthaza ukuba ndihambe iintsuku ze-90 +, ngoko ke ndiyathemba ukuba iseshoni ebendinayo ngaphambili iya kunceda ukundikhuthaza.
Ukusukela oko i-nofap yaba yinto yam eqhelekileyo, yintoni eyandenza ndayeka imikhwa yam emitsha? Ke, mandikuxelele iziganeko ezikhokelela ekufeni kwam ngokungenakuthintelwa…..(ibali elide ngaphambili elinesiphelo esirhabaxa)
I-streak yam yayibonakala ilungile. Ndandiqala ukuthandana nomntu kodwa ubudlelwane fizzled (i-chemistry yokuqala ayizange ihlale, kwenzeka, Ndandibuhlungu kancinci ngayo kodwa ndaqhubeka) kwaye waqhubeka ukudibana nabantu abaninzi. Ekugqibeleni ndathandana nentombazana endathandana nayo. Umhla wethu jikelele uhambe kakuhle kakhulu, nokuba kukho ukuthontelana epakini. Umsebenzi wethu wokugqibela wobusuku yayikukubona umboniso ophucukileyo. Waphela umboniso, saya phezulu(ibiyibhari) wabe endixelela ukuba kufuneka ayovasa. Ndiye ndalinda kufutshane nendawo ephumayo. Ndahlala ke ndilindile. Kwaye ukulinda. Ihambile i30 minutes engabuyi. Ebengaziphenduli ne text zam. Ekuqaleni ndacinga ukuba kukho into eyenzekayo. Phantse ndilinde imizuzu engama-45 ngaphambi kokuba ndive kuye. Uye wandixelela (in text) wacinga ukuba ndihambile so wahamba. I was ditched(I am in a city, so travelling around is easy without cars). Ike yabetha ingqondo yam, ndacinga ukuba imini ihambe kakuhle, kutheni ezokwenza lento? Ubenayo ingcaciso ngayo (iinkcukacha ezibuyela kumhla ezivakalayo kodwa zingamthetheleli ukuziphatha kwakhe). Wade wandithumelela umyalezo ngengomso, ngathi akwenzekanga. Yonke le meko yandishiya ndididekile. Ndicinga ukuba ukuba uye wandishiya kwaye akazange aphinde athethe nam kuya kulunga, ngoko ndingayamkela le nja kwaye ndiqhubele phambili. Kodwa ukunyaniseka, yonke inkalo yomhla yahamba kakuhle kwincwadi yam ngaphandle kwesiphelo. Ndandinomdla ongaqhelekanga kwintombazana kwaye ingqondo yam ingabonakali nto ngaphandle kweeflegi ezibomvu. Ingqondo yam, kwi-dilema epheleleyo, ekugqibeleni yanikezela kumbono wokucoca ukucima iingcamango zam. Fap ngelixa ndicinga ngaye ukuba adlule kuye, iqhinga elidala lam lekholeji (elingazange lisebenze). Ndazixelela kanye nje kodwa ndaqhubeka ndifaka "kanye nje" amaxesha amaninzi ngosuku.
Into engaqhelekanga kukuba, ndisathetha naye ngamaxesha athile (uhlala eqalisa iitekisi okanye umnxeba). I don't plan on ever seen her again and xa ndithetha inyani ndandingazimiselanga kuphinda ndithethe naye kodwa waqhubeka ethwasa. Ndixakwe ngakumbi yindlela aziphethe ngayo.
Ngapha koko, ukusukela kwezo ziganeko, ndiye ndawa phantsi kancinci kumngxunya. Ngaphambi kwerekhodi lam lomhla we-130 ndandinenyanga yokufafa ngokuthe ngqo kodwa ndahlala ndifakela kwizinto ezifanayo (i-porn efanayo). Kodwa ngeli xesha, bendiyenza loo nto kodwa ndaqala ukuphuma kwaye ndabukela nezinye i-porn. Andizange ndingene kwizinto ezazintsha ngokupheleleyo kum ndisajuba kakhulu kunokuba ndihambe ixesha elide kakhulu. Ingqondo yam ibisoloko injalo, andizukuyifumana i-fuck it. Ndincame kwi-nofap kwaye ndafumana intombazana ebifanele ixesha lam.
Ke kutheni ndibuyela kwi-nofap emva kwenyanga yokufafa? Ewe, ndizive ndingcono kakhulu ngexesha le-nofap kunokuba ndenza ngoku. Kutshanje ndiye ndaziva ndiphantsi, mhlawumbi ngokuthe ngqo ngenxa yam yokufafaza. Ndichithe ixesha elininzi ndifafa (iqala ukuba ngaphezulu kweyure ngosuku). Ndijonge phambili kwiiseshoni zam ze-fap ezindenza ndizive ndicinezelekile ukuba ndicinga ngaloo ndlela. Ingqondo yam itshintshile ekubeni "fumana intombi" ukuya "awuzukufumana ntombazana ngoko uphole", nto leyo iyandidandathekisa. Kudala ndizama ukuyitshintsha loo ngqondo kodwa kunzima kakhulu. Bendimamele ipodcast namhlanje kwaye bakhankanyile indlela ukungaphulula amalungu esini kulunge ngayo ingqondo yakho kwaye kwangaxeshanye kwi-reddit elinye lawona mabali anyuswe kakhulu namhlanje yayiyindlela yokukhupha amaxesha ama-5 ngeveki yehlisa amathuba akho okuba nomhlaza wesibeleko.
Ndiphinde ndafumana iqebengwana lethamsanqa izolo elithi "Unganikezeli".
Andazi, ndilapha kwakhona. Ndicinga ukuba yonke into endiyicelayo ngamazwi obubele okundigcina ndiqhubeka kolu kusetha kwakhona.
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