Uhambo endaluqalayo kwisithuba sonyaka odlulileyo lubonakala luneziqhamo ezihle. Kwiintsuku ezimbalwa ezidlulileyo, ndaphumelela ekufumaneni ukuqina okuqinileyo kwaye ndabelana ngesondo usebenzisa ikhondom de ndaphuma.
Ndiye ndalala nentombazana enye izihlandlo ezibini ukususela ngoko, yaye ukukholelwa kwam ukuba ndiphilile kuye kwakhula.
Ndiza kuqala ngemvelaphi yebali lam kwaye ndigqibe ngokudwelisa iingcebiso ezikhokelele kwimpumelelo yam. Ndingumfana oneminyaka eli-18 ubudala, onamava e-ED, DE kunye namakhubalo ngokugqithisileyo oko ndikhumbulayo. Ndaqala ukubukela i-porn xa ndandineminyaka eyi-12 kwaye ndaqhubeka ndikhula kwi-chatroulette, ubukhoboka kunye ne-fetish porn kwiminyaka embalwa ezayo.
Xa ndafikelela kwisikolo samabanga aphakamileyo, amava am okuqala ambalwa ngokwesini andishiya ndididekile yaye ndinganelisekanga. Ekuqaleni, ndiye ndafumana i-DE kwimisebenzi yokuvuthela kunye nemisebenzi yezandla, endiye ndenze izizathu ezahlukeneyo malunga nayo kodwa andizange ndibe nesizathu sayo. Unyaka wam wesibini, xa ndiqala ukuzama ukulala ngesondo kunye nentombi yam, andizange ndifumane i-boner ngezihlandlo ezine ezahlukeneyo, kwaye kwavela ukwesaba. Ulwalamano lwaphela, yaye isikolo sam sonke sandihlekisa ngesi siganeko. Intembelo yam kumantombazana yaphela ngokupheleleyo, yaye ndadandatheka ngokunzulu.
Ekwindla lonyaka wam omncinci, ndakhubeka kwi-YBOP. Nangona ekuqaleni ndandingakholelwa ukuba ukuphulula amalungu esini kunokusombulula iingxaki zam, ndandingenazo ezinye iindlela ndaza ndaqalisa ukuqalisa kwakhona.
Iinyanga zam zokuqala ezine zazingamava, i-PMO-free streaks yayiziintsuku kuphela ngexesha kwaye ukuphindaphinda kwam kwakuhlala kuguqukela ekubeni yi-porn binges. Eli yayilelona xesha linzima ebomini bam, abazali bam bohlukana kwanyanzeleka nditshintshe isikolo ndahamba iinyanga ndingancamisanga nentombazana. Ndiye ndahendeka ukuba ndivumele iphonografi ivale zonke iingxaki zam, njengoko bendikhe ndanamaxesha amaninzi ngaphambili. Nangona kunjalo, ndifumene inkuthazo yokusebenzisa la maxesha anzima njengempembelelo yokukhula kwam.
Ndaqala ukuphakamisa iintsimbi, ukufunda iincwadi ngaphambi kokuba ndilale kwaye ndiyeke ukuthatha i-Adderall. Ndaye ndazimisela malunga ne-No-fap, ukubukela iiyure zevidiyo, ukufunda iitoni zezithuba kunye nokufaka iibhloko ze-porn kwikhompyuter yam. Emva kokuba ndizimisele, inkqubela yaba ngcono; Bendise ndibuyelela kodwa istreaks zam bezisiya zisanda ngobude.
Uluhlu lwam lokuqala lwemowudi enzima yayiziintsuku ezingama-50, kodwa intliziyo yam yaphuka xa ndibuyela ekuzinkcinkceni ngamanyala ngeentsuku ezintathu. Ndikwazile ukuziphakamisa emva koko ngesisombululo esitsha esifunyenweyo, kwaye ndakwazi ukufikelela kwimowudi enqwenelekayo yeentsuku ezingama-90.
Emva kokugqiba oku, ndacinga ukuba iingxaki zam zisemva kwam. Noko ke, ndenza impazamo enkulu ngokuqalisa ukuphulula amaphambili ngaphambi kokuba ndivavanye inkqubela yam nentombazana ethile, yaye ndagqibela ngokutyibilika kolunye uhlobo lokuzinkcinkca ngamanyala. Emva kokuba ndiphoxekile, ndasondela ngokumangalisayo ekunikezeleni konke kunye. Andizange ndikholelwe ukuba iinyanga zam zokusebenza nzima azizange zindinyange, kwaye ndaqala ukukholelwa ukuba iingxaki zam azinakulungiseka.
Into engaphakathi kum ayizange ivume ukuyeka nangona kunjalo, kwaye ndagqiba ekubeni ndinqumle i-porn kunye ne-MO ngokungenasiphelo. Eli xesha lokugqibela laziva lahlukile, kwaye emva kweenyanga ezimbalwa ndacima intonga endala ye-porn blockers kunye nokuzithemba kwam kunye namantombazana kwabuya okokuqala kwiminyaka. Ndasondela izihlandlo ezimbalwa ukuze ndiphinde ndibuyele, kodwa ndakhumbula loo mvakalelo yokugula endandiziva ngalo lonke ixesha ndinikezela kwiidemon zam.
Emva kweenyanga ezi-4 zale nto, ndaba namava angalindelekanga kwaye angakholelekiyo. Intombazana endadibana nayo epatini ngobusuku bangaphambili yandithumelela umyalezo kuFacebook yandimema ukuba ndize. Ndifike saxhuma, wandivuthela kancinci wandixelela ukuba ufuna ndimfake. Okwesihlandlo sokuqala ebomini bam, andizange ndizise imithambo-luvo yam yangaphandle, kwaye ndizivumele ukuba ndibanjwe ngelo xesha. Ndiye ndaqina ngokupheleleyo xa ndifaka ikhondom, ndangena. Imizuzwana yokuqala endingaphakathi kuye yenza ukuba yonke imihla elusizi yokulwa ne-porn ikufanele. Imvakalelo yovuyo endayivayo ayithetheki, ndifike ngokoqobo imizuzwana elishumi kodwa ndayihleka.
Emva komzuzu, ndaqina ndaphinda ndangena. Ngeli xesha ndahlala i-6 okanye i-7 imizuzu, kwaye ndamenza cum. Ndiphinde ndalala naye ngempumelelo kwezi ntsuku zidlulileyo, kwaye andifumananga ngxaki.
Umyalezo wam kubo bonke abafunda oku ulula, nokuba kukhangeleka kumfiliba kangakanani na, kufuneka ujonge phambili ekukhanyeni ekupheleni kwetonela. Iphakamileyo andinayo inkulu kunayo nayiphi na iziyobisi emhlabeni, ihamba ngaphaya kolonwabo lomzimba wesondo, okanye imvakalelo yokukhululeka ndivakalelwa kukuba ekugqibeleni ndinobudlelwane obuphilileyo kunye nentombazana; ukuzithemba endizivayo ekoyiseni lo mkhwa kundenza ndizive ngathi ndiyakwazi ukususa iintaba.
Iingcebiso kuhambo lwam:
- Sebenzisa izithinteli zephonografi njengesixhobo sokuqala, kodwa uzicime xa uziva ulungile. Eli yayilinyathelo elikhulu kum.
- Ukubuyela kwakhona kunyuka ngokukhawuleza, ngokuqhelekileyo kuqala ngesenzo esibonakala simsulwa sokujonga umfanekiso wentombazana eshushu, usebenzisa i-tinder okanye i-omegle. Le micro-relapses iphantse yahlala inyukela kwi-binges epheleleyo. Ukulwa ngempumelelo ne-porn, awukwazi ukuyeka i-intshi.
- Qala ukuphakamisa iintsimbi nokufunda iincwadi. Oko uziva ungcono kuya kukunceda woyise ukudakumba. Kwakhona, ukuphakamisa iintsimbi kukuvumela ukuba ukhulule i-pent up amandla kunye nokukhathazeka ngelixa ukufunda iincwadi kuyanelisa isidingo sokuvuselela okukhokelela kwi-porn kwasekuqaleni.
- Fumana umntu oza kuthetha naye. Omnye wabahlobo bam abasenyongweni ibingumntu wam endizithembayo, i-cheerleader, i-drill sajini yonke. Ngaphandle kwakhe andikwazanga ukufumana amandla okugqiba oluhambo. Omnye wabahlobo bam sele eza kuqalisa ukuzama ukuyeka iphonografi, kwaye ndiceba ukumnceda endleleni.
- Ngaphezu kwako konke: Ungaze, soze unikezele. Nokuba inkqubela yakho ibonakala incinci kangakanani na, okanye zincinci kangakanani iziphumo ozibonayo emva kweentsuku ezingama-90 zemowudi enzima, kufuneka unganikezeli. Yonke imihla usilwa likhoboka lakho likwenza ube buthathaka kancinci. Olu hambo alulula, kodwa lufanelekile.
LINK - Impumelelo ekugqibeleni- Ungaze unikezele (PIED Inyangiwe)
by ironman_1839
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