Ndiza kubelana nawe ngebali lam, kunye nento etshintshileyo ebomini bam. Ezinye izinto zisenzulu kum, kodwa ndiza kuzama ukwabelana ngayo yonke into, ukuze abanye benu bafunde kuyo. Izinto zokuqala kuqala, bendisenza okuhle malunga neminyaka eyi-1.5 ndingabukeli i-porn.
Ngelishwa, ndikhe ndaphinda ndaphinda ndabuyela kwiinyanga ezithile ezidlulileyo. Ndaphinda ndaqala ndabukela okwethutyana. KODWA ndaphinda ndayeka ukubukela. Ukusukela ngoko ndiyachacha kwakhona, ngoko ungayihoyi ibheji.
Masiqale ngezinto ezakhayo kuqala. Ngo-Okthobha ka-2014 ndagqiba kwelokuba ndiyeke umphelo. HAYI pmo. Ngaphambi kweli xesha ndazama izihlandlo ezininzi, kodwa andizange ndiphumelele. Ulwazi olungasemva oluncinci. Till 2014 I was an introvert person, shy, socially awkward, I was a virgin then. 0 amava kunye namantombazana, akukho amava kakhulu ebomini kwaphela. Abantu bandifumene njengomfana olungileyo, kodwa akukho mntu wayejonge kum. Onke amantombazana andidibaniselene nam njl. Kwaye ungagcwalisa okuseleyo.
Xa ndagqiba kwelokuba ndiyeke ngo-Okthobha 2014. Iziphumo zabonisa kwangoko kunyaka omtsha ka-2015. Ndiye epatini ndaza ndathetha phantse nayo yonke intombazana ngelo xesha! Ewe, phantsi kweempembelelo zotywala. Nangona emva koko oku kwakumangalisa kum. Kaloku ngotywala okanye ngaphandle kotywala, andinakuze ndisondele emntwini/yintombazana. Phambi kokunxibelelana engqondweni yam 1000 iingcinga zenzeka.
Ukuqhubela phambili ukuya ehlobo 2015. Ukususela ngoDisemba ukuya kuJuni. Ndandide ndigqwese kuyo yonke into ngakumbi nangakumbi. Ndaba yindoda yamanenekazi! Ndaqalisa ukuthetha namantombazana amaninzi, ndandithandana phantse rhoqo emva kweeveki ezimbini. Ndaphulukana nobuntombi bam ngo February. Ndifumene i-internship kwiSales. Oko bekungaphaya kwendawo yam yokuthuthuzela. Kodwa oku kwandinceda kakhulu. Ndaba ngumntu okhululekileyo, owonwabileyo yaye ndakwazi ukuthetha nabantu ngokulula!
Kuvakala kulungile? Emva koko ndaziva ndimangalisa, ngenxa yokuba ndandingumfana oneminyaka engama-23 ubudala ongazange abe namava 'ngesondo' kunye namantombazana. Ukujonga emva ngoku. Bekungekuhle kwaphela. Ngoba? Ngenxa yokuba izinto endandizibeka kwindawo yokuqala zazingafanelekanga. Ukusuka kwi-0 yokunxibelelana namantombazana, ugxininiso lwam lonke luye lwaqhubeka ndithetha namantombazana, ukuthandana njl.
Oku akulunganga, ngenxa yesizathu esilandelayo endisifundileyo ngexesha. Abafana bakhumbule into enye, eyona nto ibalulekileyo ebomini bakho ukuphuhlisa 1. IMPILO YAKHO kunye 2. NAWE (uphuhliso lomntu). Ukuthetha ngaphandle kwamava! Pha ngo 2015 January bendigula qho. Kodwa ndikhetha amantombazana, ahamba phambi kwempilo yam. Impilo yam yabambi ngakumbi kangangokuba ndade ndaphelelwa ngamandla. Nangona kunjalo, ukususela ngo-Okthobha ndigxile kwimpilo yam kwaye ndonyusa uphuhliso lwam kuzo zonke iinkalo.
Phambili ixesha kude kube ngoku. Ndifumene ntoni malunga neminyaka emi-2?
- Umntu wentlalo, ndingathetha nabani ngoku.
- Amantombazana ayeza kwaye ahambe ebomini bam; Andisenangxaki nalonto.
- Impilo yam yaba bhetele. Andikutyi ukutya okukhawulezayo, ndiqaphele kakhulu into endiyityayo.
- Ukusukela ngoMatshi 2016 ndiyadlala. Ndiya ejimini 3 amaxesha ngeveki.
- Umntu ophuhlileyo ngakumbi. Ndifunda iincwadi, ndicamngca. Ndihlala ndizisebenzela.
- Ulwalamano lwam nabahlobo kunye nosapho luye lwaphucuka.
- Ndikwimeko yengqondo yokuba andikhathali nokuba abanye bathini. (andimniki isimo sengqondo se-fuck). Ndigxila kwiinjongo zam nokuba yintoni na.
- Ndinesimo sengqondo esikhuthazayo ngobomi, nayo yonke into endiyenzayo.
- I-libido yam yanda kakhulu.
- Ndenza izinto ngaphandle kwendawo yam yokuthuthuzela.
- Abantu bajonge kum ngoku.
Uluhlu luyaqhubeka (zive ukhululekile ukubuza)! Nangona kunjalo nantsi into engalunganga. Ngaba ndibuphelisile ubukhoboka ebomini bam?
Hayi, kwiinyanga ezithile ezidlulileyo ndaqala ukubukela i-porn kwakhona. Ndandicinga ukuba ndiyakwazi ukulawula, ukuba akuyi kuba nayiphi na impembelelo kum. Bendingalunganga. Ndaphinda ndaqalisa ukubukela isithuba esingangenyanga. Noko ke, ndaphinda ndayeka.
Enye into embi, ngenxa yokuhoywa kwam ngamantombazana kwakumnandi ndade ndangena kwi-relationship. Ubudlelwane apho andizange ndifumane nayiphi na ingqalelo ngokwesondo. Ndaqala ukuthumela i-sexting kunye namantombazana angenangqondo (endiza kuchaza kwelinye iqonga ukuba ngaba ninomdla). Le nkqubo yaba nzulu kakhulu, kangangokuba yajika yaba likhoboka ngokwalo. Konke kunxulunyaniswa nokulutha kwe-porn. Awubukeli nantoni na, kodwa usajonge ukukhaba kwe-dopamine. Oku kwaqhubeka kwaza kwacima.
Ukuza kuthi ga ngoku: Ndiyaziphuhlisa mihla le, ubomi bam abukho ndawo njengoko babukhangeleka ngo-2014. Kodwa ndiyazi ukuba andikawoyisi umlutha wam. Akukho ndawo ikufutshane, kodwa ndikwi-rehab, kwaye ANDISOZE ndincame. Nasemva kokuphinda ubuyele. Phakama, ulwe kwakhona.
Ngenye imini, umlutha uya kuba kwixesha elidlulileyo. Ndiyayazi. Kwaye nakuni bafana.
Uxolo ngesithuba eside! Ndiyathemba ukuba esi sithuba sinokukunceda ngandlela thile. Zive ukhululekile ukubuza nayiphi na imibuzo.
LINK - Uhambo lwam lweNofap lweminyaka emibini edlulileyo.
by amt2
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