Ndaqala ukufumana iNoFap malunga neminyaka emithathu edlulileyo (ndiyi-30 ngoku). Njengoko abaninzi banokungqina, ukufunda i-YBOP kwaye le nxalenye yayiyi-'a-ha!' umzuzu kum.
Ukubeka ecaleni isayensi kunye neethiyori emva kokulutha kwe-porn (endingayiphikisayo), into elula yayikukuba ndichitha ixesha elininzi kunye namandla kwi-PMO, ukonakalisa ezinye iinkalo zobomi bam. Esi sithuba siya kuba ne-resonance eyongezelelekileyo yeeFapstronauts ezindala, kodwa ndiyathemba ukuba abafana abancinci banokuqokelela ubulumko kubo kwaye babusebenzise kubomi babo, ukuze bangasokoli iminyaka yomzabalazo njengoko ndenzayo. (Un) Ngethamsanqa, amava ahlala engoyena titshala ubalaseleyo.
Ndilwele ixesha elingcono lonyaka ukuze ndifike kwindawo yam yokuseta kwakhona. Ndikhumbula ngoku wonke umsebenzi, iimvakalelo ezilungileyo nezimbi. Ndikhumbula ndiziva ndiphezu kwehlabathi, ngokungathi akukho nto eMhlabeni inokundinqanda. Ndikhumbula ndiziva ngathi 'ndophukile', ukuba andomelelanga ngokwaneleyo, ndihlala ndibuthathaka. Ndaweni ithile endleleni, ngokuzama ngokwaneleyo nokuzama nokuzama, ndafika apho. Nabani na ofuna ingcebiso, ekuphela kwento ekufuneka ndimnike yona yile: qhubeka uzama. Uya kusilela ude uphumelele. Ukungaphumeleli yimfuneko yempumelelo. Akukho mntu uhamba ebomini, okanye naluphi na uhambo lokuziphucula, angoyiswa. Kuba lula ngalo lonke ixesha, kwaye uyomelela ngalo lonke ixesha. Kum, kwakungekho 'mbumbulu yomlingo' okanye umkhwa okhethekileyo owenza umahluko. Umonde kunye nokuzinikela kuko konke onakho, kwaye konke okudingayo.
Emva kokusetha kwakhona (endikhetha ukuyichaza njengenqaku lokuba iminqweno yam yesini yayilungelelaniswa ngakumbi nalapho yayikhona ngaphambi kokuba ndifumane i-porn speed ephezulu kunye nenqaku apho i-PMO yayingeyiyo umnqweno kwakhona), ndiye ndaxakeka malunga nokuziphucula. Ndicinga ukuba oku kuthetha 'amandla amakhulu'. Kwakhona, ukususa isayensi kunye neethiyori emva kwayo, ukuba utshintsha imikhwa yakho ukusuka kwi-PMOing rhoqo ukuba ungabikho kwaphela, ubuncinci unexesha elininzi kunye namandla. Ngaphaya koko, usandula 'woyisa/woyise' umnqweno/umnqweno onamandla kakhulu obungaqinisekanga ngawo ngamanye amaxesha ukuba uyakwazi ukuwenza. Oku kubangela ukuba ntembelo, ngenxa yokuba ufezekise into enzima, kwaye eya kuphucula ubomi bakho (ngenxa nje yokuba nexesha elininzi lokukhulula kunye namandla amaninzi).
Ngoko ndandizithembile (endinayo rhoqo ndazabalaza ukusukela oko ndaqala i-PMO. Andazi ukuba kutheni, kwaye andikhathali nokuba isayensi okanye indawo ye-placebo okanye isilo esiphaphazelayo se-spaghetti), sinamandla, kwaye sinexesha elininzi ezandleni zam. Imidlalo yevidiyo, umabonwakude, ukusefa kwi-intanethi okungenangqondo, ukuphikisana ngezihloko eziqhelekileyo… zonke ezi zinto ziziva zingenamveliso kwaye ziyinkcitho yexesha elixabisekileyo. Ndaqalisa ukufunda ukuze ndonwabe kunye nolwazi olusebenzisekayo. Ndaba kowona mzimba ubalaseleyo wobomi bam: ekubeni ngaphambili ndandibhityile yaye ndibuthathaka, ngoku ndandimkhulu yaye ndomelele. Ndaqalisa ukugqwesa emsebenzini ngaphezu kwalo naliphi na ixesha ebomini bam endilikhumbulayo. Ingqondo yam yayicacile kwaye ayizange ibambezeleke kwizihloko zobu bullshit. Ndandikwazi ukugxila. Ndaziyeka iziyobisi zam ze-ADHD (ebendihlala ndikholelwa kuzo ngokwenyani ayinakusebenza ngaphandle). Ndabuyela eskolweni ndayothatha iMBA yam. Ngaphandle kokugxila kum kunye nakuphuhliso lwam, ukuqinisekiswa kwangaphandle endikufumanayo kwakungenakwenzeka ukuba ndingahoywa. Usapho, izihlobo, abafazi, nabantu abaqhelene nabo ngokungakhethiyo baya kuphawula indlela endikhangeleka ngayo, indlela endonwabe ngayo, kwaye kumnandi kangakanani ukuba kufutshane. Isangqa sam sentlalo sakhula kwaye ndandidibana nabafazi aboyikekayo rhoqo. Ubomi babumnandi.
Ngaba impumelelo endiyifumeneyo iziswe nguNoFap/'ukusetha kwakhona' kwam? Ewe kwaye hayi. Ndicinga ukuba kuphosakele ukucinga ukuba, 'Ndiya kuvuya ngakumbi / ndithembele ngakumbi / ndifunde ngakumbi / ndifunde ngakumbi / nantoni na xa ndenza iNoFap / xa ndiseta kwakhona.' Oku kukuba ngumthathi-nxaxheba ongenzi nto ebomini. Ubomi kufuneka buphile ngokunyanisekileyo nangokusebenzayo. Kufuneke u ukhetha into oyifunayo ebomini, ufuna ukuba ngubani, kwaye ulandele ezo njongo ngokungenaloyiko kwaye ngamanye amaxesha ungayeki.
Indoda iyakhetha. Ikhoboka liyathobela.
Kwakufuneka ndisuse 'ukufuneka' 'ukufuna' okanye 'ukuya' ebomini bam. Yonke into endiyenzayo ebomini bam isekelwe kwimilinganiselo yam kunye nokhetho lwam. Andi kufuneke u ukuyeka i-PMO kuba ndiyinto engento, ndigula, ndonakele, njl. Ukuba andiyikuyeka. I ukhetha ndiyeke i-PMO kuba ithintela indlela yam eya kubomi endifuna ukuphila kunye nendoda endifuna ukuba yiyo. Andi kufuneke ndi ukuzilolonga kuba kungenjalo ndiya kutyeba kwaye ndibuthathaka kwaye ndiya kuba nomtsalane ngokwasemzimbeni. I ukhetha ukuzilolonga kuba kundinceda ukuba ndigcine umzimba owomeleleyo nofanelekileyo, endiwuxabisileyo kwaye ndinqwenela ukuba nam.
Ndikhetha ukungachithi ixesha namandla am ekuziphatheni nakwimikhwa engavelisi nto. Ndikhetha ukusebenzisa ixesha lam ngokufanelekileyo, kwaye ndisebenze ukuze ndibe ngumntu ongcono, umntu opheleleyo, kuba ndiyavuma ukuba ubomi bufutshane, akukho nto yokwenza, kwaye kufuneka ndisebenze nzima nantoni na endiyifunayo ebomini. Ndinoxanduva lokukhula kunye nolonwabo lwam, kwaye ndinoxanduva lweziphumo zokulandela okanye ukungalandeli le ndlela.
Xela okungasentla, kwaye thetha ngayo. Yiba nomsindo xa ungazenzi izinto ekufuneka uzenzile ukuze ube yindoda ofuna ukuba yiyo kwaye uphile ubomi obufuna ukubuphila. Sebenzisa loo msindo njengesibaso, inkuthazo yeeyure oza kufuneka uzifake. Xa ubuthathaka, yiba nomfanekiso-ngqondweni wobomi bakho babuphila ngoloyiko. Umfanekiso apho uya kuba neminyaka emi-5, eyi-10, engama-20 ukususela ngoku ukuba awuzilweli, ukuba uthatha indlela elula yokuphuma, ukuba ukhetha ukhuseleko kunye nentuthuzelo ngaphezu kwamandla kunye nokuphumelela. Yiba nomdla wokuba ukuba awusebenzi ixesha elide, nzima kwaye ukhuthele, esi sisiphelo sakho. Yiba nomsindo kuwe ukuba ubuvila bakho, ubuthathaka, ukungabikho kokugxila kunokukwenza ukuba esi siphelo sibe lula. Phinda: Akukho mntu unoxanduva ngento eyenzekayo kum, ngaphandle kwam. Kukho inkitha yemizekelo yabantu aboyisa izinto ezingathandekiyo zenzululwazi ngeenkwenkwezi (enyanisweni, kunzima ngakumbi kunaye nabani na okule bhodi yemiyalezo okhe wanamava okanye oya kuphinda abe namava, ndibandakanyiwe) ukufumana ubutyebi, impumelelo, ulonwabo, uxolo. Akukho sizathu sokuba awukwazi ukuphila ubomi obuya kukwenza wonwabe. Akukho sizathu sokuba awukwazi ukuba yindoda ozidla ngayo. Unoxanduva kuyo yonke into eyenzekayo ebomini bakho.
Ngoku, yiba nomfanekiso wobomi ofuna ukuphila, ubomi bakho obufezekileyo. Indlu egqibeleleyo, indawo egqibeleleyo, umsebenzi ogqibeleleyo, umfazi ogqibeleleyo (okanye ongenamfazi), abantwana abagqibeleleyo (okanye abanabantwana), okona kubaluleke kakhulu: Inguqulelo egqibeleleyo YAWE (kwaye Uthatha isigqibo sokuba yeyiphi inguqulelo yakho egqibeleleyo - hayi umfazi wakho, abazali, utitshala okanye umphathi). Yilwele obu bomi. Ifanelekile, Uyixabisile. Ufanelwe kukuvuya. Ufanele ukwaneliseka. Ufanele ukuphila ubomi obufunayo kwaye ube yindoda ofuna ukuba yiyo. Akunakwenzeka ukuba ufezekise yonke into into oyifunayo ebomini. Kulungile. Bambalwa abafumana yonke into abayifunayo. Nangona kunqabile ukuba izinto zihambe kanye njengoko unokuba nombono wabo, ukuba awuwusebenzeli, uya kufumana akukho nanye.
Ukuya kwinqanaba lomhlathi wangaphambili - "Ngaba ukuphuculwa kobomi kuya kwenzeka ngenxa yokuba yiFapstronaut / ukusetha kwakhona?" Ngokusisiseko, hayi. Nangona kunjalo, iya kukunika amandla angakumbi, ixesha elininzi lokukhululeka, kunye nokuzithemba ngakumbi. Ukuba uhlakulela ezi zipho zitsha zifunyenweyo (kwaye ungenzi mpazamo malunga nazo - ezi zizipho esifanele sibe nombulelo ngazo sonke), kwaye sizisebenzise ekuziphuculeni nasekukhuleni, ndiqinisekisa ukuba ubomi bakho buya kuphucuka kakhulu.
Ukunyanzeliswa, ukunyanzeliswa kwe-PMO ngumkhwa wobuntwana. Yinto eyenziwa yinkwenkwana. Inkwenkwe ayikwazi ukulawula iminqweno yakhe yesini (okanye nawuphi na umnqweno wokwanelisa ixesha elifutshane, ubukhulu becala). Indoda kufuneka izibambe ize iziqeqeshe. Yiba yindoda yokwenene, namhlanje.
Indoda iyakhetha. Ikhoboka liyathobela.
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