Ndithumela kwicandelo lamaKhosikazi kwiforum ephantsi kukaJ. J imele UHAMBO, kuba le nto ibiyiyo. Kwaye nangona ndingathanda ukubhala elona bali lakhayo apha, ndiza kubhala inyani. Uhambo luqala ngesigqibo sokutshintsha ubomi bomntu kwelinye icala ebelihamba kulo.
Ukwenza kucace, uhambo yinkqubo. Alukho uhambo ngaphandle komzabalazo. Uhambo alugqibelelanga, kodwa luhlala luhleli. Kwaye ngenene imalunga nohambo, kuba ayipheli.
Kunyaka oyi-1 odlulileyo, ndenze isigqibo emva kokubetha ilitye, ukuba ndifuna uncedo. Kodwa uhambo lwaqala kudala. Kwaqala okomzuzwana ndaqonda ukuba andifuni kujonga i-porn kwakhona. Ndandingaziboni. Ndandinabo obu bomi bufihlakeleyo kwaye ndibufihla kumntu wonke kodwa apha ndandizama umKristu, kodwa ngaphakathi ndandisifa kwaye ndilahleka kweli rhamncwa lenkanuko.
Ndibalisa ibali lam ngokucacileyo ngoku. Ndivuse elo rhamncwa kum. Emva kokuba umama engakholelwa ukuba andizange ndibukele i-pornography, (nangona ngelo xesha andizange ndiqonde ukuba kukho amanqanaba ahlukeneyo) ndagqiba ekubeni ndiyihlolisise. Ukufuna ukwazi kukhokelela ekubeni ndiyijonge kwaye ekugqibeleni ndiyenze ngayo. Ndabanjiswa yimvakalelo eyabangelayo ndaza ndabambeka entlango. Andizange ndicinge nto ngaloo nto de kwadlula iminyaka, ndabubuyisela ubomi bam kuThixo ndaqikelela ukuba, Wandithatha njengoko ndandinjalo. Oko kwakuthetha ukuba akazange awususe ngommangaliso umnqweno wamanyala, kodwa watyala imbewu entsha, leyo yayiza kufuna ukukhula. Khange ndiyilibale kwangoko. Ndandisokola ngayo ke ngamanye amaxesha ndandinikezela kwaye ngamanye amaxesha ndiphumelele.
Kodwa ndandisazi ukuba ndifuna ukuyeka, ndandifuna ukwenza oko ngendlela yam. Indlela yam ayizange isebenze. Elona xesha lide ndalithatha lalinokuba ziinyanga ezi-3-4, emva koko ndiphinde ndibuyele. Emva koko umjikelo uya kuqala, kwaye ityala, kunye nokucela ukuxolelwa nokunganikezeli kwaye mhlawumbi iiveki ezimbalwa apha okanye inyanga okanye ezimbini, ndiya kuphinda ndibuyele.
Kunyaka ophelileyo yonke into yatshintsha. Ndafikelwa kwindawo emnyama ebomini bam kwaye okokuqala, ndandingasenamdla wokuzama, umnqweno wokulwa, umnqweno wokuphila kwaye kulapho ndaqonda ukuba kufuneka ndenze le ndlela kaThixo. Ngoko ke ndimamela ilizwi ebelindixelela iminyaka, ndicela uncedo. UThixo wandikhokelela ekubeni ndivuleleke kudade wethu, kunye nomhlobo othandekayo, kodwa ngaphambi koko ndize kuphinda ndiqalise isizwe kwaye kungekudala emva koko ndathatha inyathelo eliya phambili kwaye ndabetha kwindawo esengozini xa ndifuna uncedo lonyango olubomi. umqeqeshi. Ndandisele "sober" mhlawumbi iinyanga ezi-3 ngelo xesha, kodwa ndimtsha ukuba ndiza kuwenza lo msebenzi kuya kufuneka ndizibophelele ngokwenene.
Ngoko oku akuzange kwenzeke nje konke. Kwathatha ixesha. Okokuqala ndize apha, iinyanga ezimbalwa, ndaxelela udadewethu, emva kwenyanga umhlobo osenyongweni. Inyanga emva koko umqeqeshi wobomi. Kwaye wasebenza ngokuthembeka kungekuphela nje ukufumana eyona ngxaki, kodwa wayethetha ngokuphandle kwaye wandinika uthando olunzima olufunekayo. Andifuni abantu bacinge ukuba wow, ndizinikele nje ngenye imini kwaye ndijonge unyaka kamva…
Ndandinamahla-ndinyuka am amanyumnyezi. Ukuguquguquka kweemvakalelo ezinzulu kunye nomsindo omkhulu wabuya uphuphuma. Iphonografi sisiyobisi ngandlela zonke. Kwakukho iintsuku endandiphantse ndanikezela ngazo. Kwakukho amaxesha endandicinga ukuba andisaludingi uncedo. Kwabakho ke ityala. Kwakungekho ngokwaneleyo ukuba ndiphinde ndibuyele kwi-MO kwaye isilwanyana sam esilandelayo kuba iphonografi yaba buthathaka, imifanekiso yaba buthathaka kwaye ndagqiba ekubeni ndiza kuyenza kunyaka ngaphambi kwesigaba esilandelayo. Nangona i-MO iqhubekile phakathi ekubeni kungekho galelo lemifanekiso ebonakalayo, iyenzeka. Ndazinikela kwade kwasekupheleni kuka-Epreli emva koko ndathi yiyo leyo, ngoku ndizibophelele ku-MO.
Ke yinkqubo bahlobo bam. Enye ekunzima ukuyenza uwedwa. Ncedani ningayenzi loo nto kuni. Ukuba oku kukubulala kwaye ufuna ngamandla ukudlula kuyo, thatha umoya kwaye ucele iindlebe ezithile. Kwimeko yam, ukufuna ukwazi ngokwenene bekunengxaki yengcambu. Ndiyifumene ngoncedo. Ke ukuba uyazi ukuba kukho isisombululo, landela.
Awunako ukunikezela ngenxa nje yokubuyela umva okumbalwa. UHAMBO, fumanisa ukuba kutheni isenzeka, fumana eyona nto ungajonganga nayo. Hayi khange kubelula ukuvula kwaye ndidikiwe kukuva isiqhwala sokuba unexhala lokuba abantu bazothini. Ngubani okhathalayo ukuba bacinga ntoni, mhlawumbi benza izinto emva kweengcango ezivaliweyo, mhlawumbi umntu osondeleyo kuwe uyasokola kodwa boyika ukuba unokucinga ntoni ngabo. Ukuba utshatile kwaye woyika ukuphulukana neqabane lakho ngokulixelela, qikelela ukuba useza kuphulukana nantoni na ukuba awubaxeleli kuba iyakubamba. Kuya kukutya kuye emathanjeni akho kwaye uya kuqalisa ukusabela ngeendlela ezahlukeneyo.
Yeka ukuzixokisa awunoyenza wedwa lento.
Andiphelelanga, kwaye andiyoncutshe, hayi, ndidlule kuyo kwaye ndisazoqhubeka nokuhamba kuyo ngoba ubomi buhamba nohambo. Ndiyanithanda kwaye ndifuna ukubulela wonke umntu oye wandixhasa xa ndiqala ukuza kule forum. Kwaba sisiqabu ukufumana abanye abafana nam kwaye ndaqonda ukuba andingomntu ogulayo okanye ongaqhelekanga. Ndandifuna nje ukwazi ukuba ndiyathandwa kwaye abantu bayakhathala. Emva koko kwafuneka ndifunde ukuzithanda kwakhona. Ndiyanibulela nonke kwakhona ngokufunda amangenelo am kwaye nindinike olo khuthazo. Ngoku lixesha lokuba uqale uhambo olutsha.
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