Molo, ndiyifumene kwiintsuku ze-365 ngoko ndacinga ukuba lixesha lokuba ndibhale uhlobo oluthile lwengxelo ukuze ndibuyele kuluntu. Kuqala, kufuneka nditsho ukuba oku kuzakuba yingxelo emnyama, njengoko ndingakhange ndenze inkqubela phambili njengabanye abantu kwixesha elifanayo.
Iiveki zokuqala ezimbalwa zazisoyikeka, kodwa ikwakhona apho ndaziva ngathi ndinamandla amakhulu. Intloko yam yahlanjululwa, ndaziva ndiba namandla, kwaye kwenzeka into engacingekiyo - abasetyhini babeza kujonga kum, ndaye ndaye ndancuma. Ngokomxholo, ndingu-virgin ngentombi yam kwiminyaka yamashumi amathathu kwaye ndizabalaza noxinzelelo lwentlalo. Ke xa abantu basetyhini bendincumela okanye ungakhe ujonge ecaleni xa ndibajonga, inkulu kakhulu loo nto kum. Ndingahlala ndicinga ukuba le yinkomo xa ndifunda ngale nto kwezinye iingxelo zabantu, kodwa yeha, yinyani. Ngelishwa, akukho nto yavela. Kwiinyanga ezimbalwa kamva, kwavakala ngathi liphelile eli nqanaba, kwaye yonke into ibuyele kwindlela ebeyiyo ngaphambili. Le yinto andiyiqondi, kodwa ke, ndicinga ukuba kungafuneka ndisebenze ngokwam ngakumbi.
Elinye lawona mava anamandla yayikukuba ndinomdla ongafezekanga kwiintsuku zam zokuqala, kodwa andizange ndinikezele kwaye emva koko wahamba emva kwemizuzu ye-30. Oko kwakubaluleke kakhulu kum. Ukwenza loo mava ukuba ayigqithise kubaluleke kakhulu.
Ndandineplatiflethi eyathatha iinyanga ezimbalwa, emva koko, ngaphandle kwendawo, iminqweno eyoyikisayo yabuya. Lawo ke xa ndandiqala ukucinga nokufumana izinto ezingakumbi zokuphuma ebusuku kwakhona. Ukukhupha iminqweno entlokweni yam yinto endisasebenza kuyo. Nangona kunjalo ndingavumeli ngokungqongqo ukuba ndenze iminqweno malunga nantoni na ephathelene ne-porn. Nanini na apho kuvela khona, ndiye ndiyicime.
Ndingatsho ukuba ukufumana umbono ophezu kolawulo yeyona nto ibalulekileyo. Yiloo nto iphinde yaqala kwakhona, kwaye ndasondela ekuphindeni kwakhona amaxesha ambalwa, kodwa bendihlala ndiyiphepha. Ngokubanzi, xa ingcinga yezesondo ingena engqondweni yam, ndizama ukuyityhala kude. Xa ndibona into enokuthi indijike, ndijonge kude. Xa kukho ibali lomdlalo webhanyabhanya onokuthi undishukumise, ndiyileqe. Xa ndiguqula iphepha kwimagazini kwaye kukho uAssa oshushu kwisibhengezo, ndiguqula iphepha. Oku kubalulekile, kwaye ndiyakholelwa ukuba ukwenza olu khetho ukungazukuzivuselela naluphi na uhlobo lokuvuselela ngokwesondo kuyeyona nto indincedileyo ukuba ndifikelele kule nqanaba.
Kwakhona ndaphelelwa yitoni yobunzima, ndaqala ukusebenza, ndatshintsha indlela enditya ngayo. Ukwenza inkqubela phambili apho, kodwa ndihlala ndikude nalapho ndifuna ukuba khona.
Isizathu sokuba ndingakhange ndenze inkqubela phambili njengoko ndithanda ukwenza njalo kukuba kum umlutha we-PMO yinxalenye yomfanekiso omkhulu. Umcimbi wam wokwenene ulikhoboka le-intanethi, kwaye ndenze imizamo embalwa yokuya kwi-strak yokuthintela loo nto kodwa, kodwa andizange ndikwazi ukusilela amatyeli aliqela kulo nyaka. Ndiza kwenza enye into kungekudala. Amaxesha ambalwa endiye ndawenza ngaphezulu kwenyanga, ndinokucacisa okungakholelekiyo engqondweni yam, kwaye ndiya kuncomela wonke umntu. Ingxaki kukuba ngelixa i-PMO inokupheliswa ngokupheleleyo ngaphandle kwesiphumo esisebenzayo, Ukususa i-intanethi ngokupheleleyo kunemiphumo emibi ebomini bam. Kuya kufuneka ndibuyele kwindlela yokuphila ye-1990s, ubuncinci ixesha elongeziweyo, kwaye oko kuyinkxalabo, kuba ndenza into eninzi yokuthenga online kwaye kufuneka ndijonge izinto ezininzi. Okukhona ndiqhubela phambili kokukhona ndiqonda ukuba ukwenza utshintsho apha yinto ekufuneka yenziwe ekugqibeleni, ayikho enye indlela, kwaye izakuba krwada. Yonke le nto ixhomekeke koku: Ukuba kukho umlutha omnye ngaphandle komfanekiso, omnye angangena kuwo. Ekugqibeleni, u-I‛ve ngandlela thile ukuphelisa ukuxhomekeka kukhuthazo oluvela ngaphandle. Le yinto endisasokola kakhulu nayo. Ndingakhe ndikhululeke kwimfuno yokukhuthaza ukuzalisa into engenanto ngaphakathi kwam? Ikamva liya kubonisa.
Oku kundikhokelela kwenye indawo, zombini ngokubhekisele kwi-nofap nakwi-intanethi. Ukususa into ebiyinxalenye yobuntu bakho ixesha elide kungoyikisa. Ndimele ndivume ukuba andikasinaso isisombululo sale nto. Andisakwazi ukufumana ukuba ndicime Backup yam yokugqibela kwifolda yam yovidiyo, kuba zininzi iinkumbulo eziqhotyoshelwe kwiividiyo ezininzi, ukubuyela emva kweminyaka eyi-15. Ndiyaqonda ukuba eli inyathelo ekufuneka ndilithathile ekugqibeleni, kodwa ukuza kuthi ga ngoku, andinakukwenza.
Eyona nto yothusayo kum kukuba ezi zibongozo zabuya emva kweenyanga ezininzi. Ndinezibongozo ze-monster ezivela esihogweni malunga neentsuku ezingama-300 kwaye ndaphantse ndabuya kwakhona. Okwangoku kufuneka ndivume ukuba kube luncedo kakhulu kum ukufunda iingxelo zabanye abaye babuya umva emva kweenyanga ezininzi okanye iminyaka. Ngandlela thile, bendizilungiselele, nangona indibambe ngokumangala kwaye andikholwa ukuba iyenzeka le nto kum. Ukuba ufikelela kwinani eliphezulu leentsuku kwaye uziva ngathi ungaphezulu kwehlabathi, sukuvumela ukuba ulinde. Unokuba nemeko ebukhali ngaphakathi kwemizuzu embalwa ngaphandle kwendawo, kwaye kufuneka uyilungele.
Umgca osezantsi yile. Ngelixa kunokubakho iimeko apho iintsuku ze-90 zingakhokelela kutshintsho olukhulu, kuya kufuneka uqwalasele ukuba oku kungenzeka okanye kungenzeki kuwe. Utshintsho olukhulu kubomi lufuna umonde, ngoba kuya kufuneka uphinde wenze izinto ezingathandekiyo uphinda-phinda ngaphandle kokuba ufumane umvuzo ngoko nangoko. Ngale nto ndiyithetha ndonelisekile kukuba ndikuphi ngokubhekisele kwinto engekhoyo. I-PMO yinto endingenakuzibona ndiyenza kwakhona, iba yinto engaqhelekanga nelothusayo kum. Nokuba unamandla kangakanani umnqweno kwezi ntsuku, i-PMO yinto nje yobomi bam kwaye andizithathi njengento ithuba elide. Ndisuka nje ndisiya kulwa ndedwa ndicinga enye into, emva koko iyahamba, kwaye le yi- „eqhelekileyo me kum ngoku. Iintsuku ezimbalwa ezidlulileyo bendijonge kwi-backup ye-harddrive endiyenzileyo kunyaka odlulileyo kwaye ngokwenene ndiyilibale ukuba iphi le folda ye-porn! Kwakufuneka ndiyikhangele kangangemizuzu emibini de ndiyifumane. Ngaba ungayikholelwa loo nto? Ndaphazamiseka. Ke, ngelixa kungenjalo okuninzi kutshintshile kubomi bam bokwenyani, olu hlobo lwempumelelo luyandikhuthaza ukuba ndijongane neengxaki ezinkulu ebomini bam.
Nazi ezinye izixhobo endincedileyo.
- Inqaku elikwi-YBOP elithetha malunga nokufikisa ngendlela eyenzakalisayo kuyonakalisa iinzame zakho. Kukunika iindlela ezimbalwa zokujongana nayo, nendlela yokukhupha engqondweni yakho: https://www.yourbrainonporn.com/sexual-fantasy-the-more-you-scratch-the-more-you-itch
- Nali elinye inqaku malunga nendlela efanayo: https://www.yourbrainonporn.com/other-techniques-for-rewiring
- Umboniso okhusela ukubuyela umva. Itshintshe indlela endikujonga ngayo ukubuyela umva kwaye yandinceda kakhulu. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FmjjxdDwOIc
- Inqaku elivela kumfo owenze ividiyo ekhankanywe ngasentla, malunga neempawu zokurhoxa kwexesha elide. Oku kuye kwandenza ndabona ukuba umzabalazo uza kuhlala ixesha elide, kwaye wandinceda nokubeka iminqweno ngequbuliso ngaphandle kwendawo. http://www.addictionsandrecovery.org/post-acute-withdrawal.htm
- Nantoni na evela kuGabor Maté, ingcali yaseCanada eyaphatha amakhoboka ixesha elide kwaye ibhale le ncwadi "Kwindawo yeNdlala yeNdlala". Ukwanentetho kwiYouTube kwaye wayitshintsha indlela endijonga ngayo imeko yam ngokupheleleyo. Konke malunga nentlungu esizama ukuyingcwaba ngokuziphatha gwenxa, kunye nokufikelela kwingcambu yokubandezeleka kwakho. Ukujongana nomxholo wakhe kundenze ndazola ngakumbi kwaye ndaziqonda ngakumbi izinto. Ukuba uziva usondelelene kwiingcinga zakhe, qhubeka ujonge ezinye izinto, ngakumbi malunga nokunxibelelana komzimba-kwengqondo. Kubethe ingqondo yam. Nantsi ividiyo elungileyo phakathi kwabanye abaninzi: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BpHiFqXCYKc
- Incwadi ethi "Ukutshata Kwabantu Abangatshatanga" nguWilliam Skudlarek. Ndinomdla omkhulu koko kuthethwa ziimonki malunga nokungatshati kunye nendlela abenza ngayo. Le ncwadi iyindibaniselwano yeengcinga zobuKatolika nezamaBuddha zidityanisiwe kwaye kwakubonisa ukuqonda kwam ukuba ndifunde ingqiqo yokuba la maqela mabini azisa ngaphambili, kunye nembali yezinye iimonki ezazama ukuhamba nayo.
- Kananjalo le Wallpaper indincedile kakhulu. Inamandla athile okanye ndiziva ngayo indinike amandla amakhulu: https://www.reddit.com/r/wallpaper/comments/1lotmc/a_wallpaper_i_made_flight_2560x1440/
Enkosi ngenkxaso kunyaka ophelileyo, kwaye ndininqwenelela okuhle.
by Fapplemage
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