Bendingazi ukuba umyeni wam ubukele iphonografi. Uninzi kuba wandixelela ukuba akenzanga kodwa nangenxa yokuba wayengayithandi into yokuba ndibukele iphonografi. Andinasizathu sokungamthembi.
Ndifumene lo myalelo xa umyeni wam kuqala eqala ukufumana kwakhona kwaye wacinga ukuba emva konyaka onzima, ndingabelana ngamava ethu.
Ukuqala kwethu ukuthandana, ngexesha lethu eliphakamileyo lokufunda kwisikolo samabanga aphakamileyo, besingakwazi ukuba neentlobano zesini kakhulu kwaye loo mkhwa uqhubeke kuyo yonke ikholeji. Sasihlala kude kakhulu kwaye kwakungekho ngxaki xa ndize kumtyelela.
Ngethuba elinye lekhefu lam esikolweni ndafuduka ndiza kuhlala naye, okwethutyana, kwaye ndandifumanisa ukuba kukho into engalunganga. Akazange afune ukulala ngesondo kwaye akukho nto ndayenza ukuba ndiqalise ukuyijika. Kwakhona wazama nzima ukugcina ukulungiswa ngexesha lokundwendwela kwam.
Yayibuhlungu intliziyo yam. Andikwazi ukuveza ubunzima obuva xa umntu omthandayo ekulahla kunye nomonakalo owenzayo kukuzithemba kwakho. Ndibuyele esikolweni xa kuphela ihlobo ndizibuza ukuba yintoni ingxaki yakhe… yintoni engalunganga ngam?
Unditsalele umnxeba emva kweeveki ezimbalwa ndibuyele ekhaya ezokundixelela ukuba une testosterone esezantsi kunye no-ED. Kwakunzima ukuva ukuba ulwa nemeko kodwa ndaphinda ndakhululeka ukuba bendingenaphutha kwiingxaki zethu zesini.
Kamva ngaloo nyaka wacela ukuba ndize ndihambe naye ngokusisigxina.
Ndihlala ndicinga umva kulonyaka esiwuchithe sihlala kunye kwaye ndizibuze ukuba kutheni ndikhethe ukutshata naye kodwa, ndiyazazi izinto ngoku endandingazibuyeli emva. Ngethuba lonyaka wokuqala ubomi bethu bezesondo bancipha ngakumbi kwaye ukuzithemba kwam kwakusezantsi ngalo lonke ixesha. Uya kuzikhusela xa ndicela isondo kwaye, ngenxa yoko, ndiye ndaqala ukuyeka ukubuza. Xa sasilala ngesondo wayezingca kwaye kwakungekho mnandi kodwa, andizange ndikwazi ukuba kuya kuphinda kwenzeke ntoni ngoko ndathatha into endinako. Ndandinosizi kwaye nangona ndandicinga ukushiya bendihlala ndizixelela ukuba ndimthanda ngokwaneleyo ukuba ndingabona imeko yakhe yempilo. Ndazimisela ukuyeka isondo kuba, ngokwazi kwam, wayehlala ngaphandle kwayo.
Satshata kwaye ngaphandle kwesondo, sasinobudlelwane obukhulu. Nangona kunjalo, ngoku ndiyazi ukuba isondo ayisiyonto onokuthi uphile ngaphandle kwayo (ngaphandle kwe-asexuals) kunye nenzondo kunye nokudana okuvela kwisini esihleli kubomi bethu bonke. Ndandilila rhoqo ebusuku ndimbongoza ukuba afumane unyango. Ngokombono wam wayebonakala enentloni kwaye bendiziqinisekisile ukuba ebefuna nje isibindi sokujongana nogqirha kwakhona.
Emva kweenyanga kunzima ukukhululwa (ndandisekhaya xa wayesekhaya) ndaye ndagqiba kwelokuba ndithethe naye malunga ne-porn. Andizange ndikhathalele iphonografi kodwa yayiyinto awayendixelele yona ukuba wayengacingi ukuba kufuneka siyibukele. Ndambuza ukuba ndingayisebenzisa na kuba wayesokola ngesondo kwaye impendulo yakhe yayimbi. Ukhale wandicenga ukuba ndingabukeli ngoba ebengakhululekanga xa ndisiya kwenye indoda kwaye wafunga ukuba impilo yethu yesondo izobangcono. Khange yenzeke kwaye emva kweenyanga ezisithoba zomtshato inkampani yakhe yamthumela kuhambo lweenyanga ezintlanu eNew York kwaye ndakhetha ukuhlala ekhaya ndisesikolweni.
Makhe ndithathe ikhefu kwibali lam kwaye ndithethe izinto ezimbalwa kubafundi apha. Ukuba iqabane lakho liphikisana ngesondo, ngokuqhelekileyo baya kuqala ukubuza ukuba ingavela phi enye. Andizange ndikhohlise kumyeni wam kodwa ngexesha lohambo lwakhe lwentsebenzo ndandiphazamiseka. Indlela eqinisekileyo yokushukumisa iqabane lakho kwabanye kubatshatyala inyaniso kunye nokuthintela ukuthandana.
Ngexesha lakhe elihambileyo ndaye ndagqiba kwelokuba ndenze abahlobo abatsha. Uninzi lwabasetyhini endibaziyo babekwelinye icala lezinto kwaye yayingabo ababetsala nzima besabelana ngesondo namaqabane abo. Abakhange bayeke abayeni babo ekubukeni iphonografi kuba bebengacingi ukuba kufanelekile ukubenza ukuba bahambe ngaphandle kokuvuselela i-masturbated xa bengakwazi ukwabelana ngesondo endaweni yoko. Ndikhule ithambo langemva ngexesha lakhe kwaye ndaqonda ukuba andizukuvumela i-ego yakhe ingene endleleni yento endiyifunayo ngamandla.
Ubuyile kwaye sabelana ngesondo ngokumangalisayo inyanga yonke elandelayo. Kwakumangalisa kodwa akuzange kuhlale. Emva kovuyo lokuba ekhaya kunye nam bancedwa wabuyela kwi-porn (ngaphandle kolwazi lwam) ndaza andabinanto. Ndifumene amaphepha oqhawulo-mtshato.
Khange silwe kwaye besonwabile kunye. Wayemhle kwaye sichitha ixesha elininzi kunye kunezinye izibini. Wayesebenzisa loo nto kum nanini na xa ndithetha ngomsindo, "andikuthandi ngokwaneleyo ngezinye iindlela?" Ndabuza ukuba andinakuwuqhawula umtshato ngenxa yempilo.
Ndamnika i-ultimatum: fumana uncedo kwimeko yakho okanye siqhawule umtshato. Wothuka xa ndamxelela. Intlungu ayenayo yayibonakala kwaye ngeveki elandelayo wayegula ngenxa yokukhathazeka kwentliziyo. Ndandibuhlungu ngenxa yokumbeka kuyo kwaye oku kungikhokelela ukuba ndizenzele ukungabi nokhuseleko olungakumbi kunokuba ndandisoloko ndikhona.
Kwiveki emveni kokuba ndimxelele ngamaphepha oqhawulo-mtshato umhlobo wam weza kudla isidlo sangokuhlwa. Ngexesha lokuhlala kwakhe wathetha ngeGame of Thrones (GOT) kwaye ndinethemba lokuba umyeni wam umamele. Bendifuna ukubukela umboniso okoko ukhutshiweyo kodwa ebengenamdla wokuwuhlawulela kwaye engafuni nokuba sibukele into enobunqunu obungaka. Uvakalelo lwaludibana kunye nengcuka yesitalato saseludongeni. Emva kokuba umhlobo wam emkile ndiye ndaphinda ndaphinda ndalungisa into ngalo mbandela kodwa wayeqinile kwaye engafuni kuhlawula.
Enye iveki kamva kwaye umhlobo wam ebendithembise ngokundiboleka uthotho lwe-GOT yakhe kwaye ndacinga ukuba "ndingazi ngoku ukuba yintoni le ingxolayo!" Ke, ndabuza umyeni wam ngelixa wayedlala igqwirha (umdlalo endandingawazi malunga nomxholo wobunqunu kodwa ndingaguli emva koko…) ukuba ufuna ukubukela umboniso nam.
“Sele ndiyibonile” watsho. Ndothukile kwaye ndibhidekile ndaphinda ndabuza. Ubuso bakhe bajika baba mhlophe. “Ndiyibukele ngexesha lokuhamba kwam, ndikuxelele ukuba” Wayengazange andixokise ngaphambili, ubuncinci bendingazi ukuba unabo, kwaye okomzuzwana ndabuza ukuba ingaba ndilibele na okanye hayi. Emva koko ndikhumbula abahlobo bam betyelele kwaye wathi wayecacisile ngokucacileyo kuthi sobabini ukuba akazange awubone umboniso. “Andisamkhumbuli umhlobo wakho elapha”
Wayexoka. Ngoba? Kutheni engandivumeli ukuba ndibukele? Emva koko yandibetha, umboniso unobunqunu. Waxoka ngenxa yobunqunu kwaye mhlawumbi waziva enetyala kodwa kwakutheni ukuze angandivumeli ndibukele?
Wenza ityala ngakumbi emva koko ndacinga ukuba sengqiqweni kumntu obukele nje umboniso womboniso. Wayesenzela ubuze kodwa oku kwakungavakali. Khange akwazi ukuba nzima ngoko kutheni ubunqunu buza kuba yinto? Nokuba ebejonge nje nabahlobo bekutheni ze axoke? Ngaba wayezama ukufihla ngokwenza umthetho aze awaphule?
Wamemeza waza waxolisa waza ndamxolela kodwa inkolo yam yaphulwa. Ngoku ndiyazi ukuba akafuni nje ukuthetha amanga kum kodwa ukuba wayemhle kuyo. Ndagqiba kwelokuba ndithatha umsebenzi ozayo ngaphandle kokuba azi.
Ngosuku olulandelayo ndafowunela umama wathi eyona nto ayenzileyo inetyala kukuba wayengumntu olungileyo. Ayikho enye into eza kufunyanwa. ” Ndijonge ilaptop yakhe. Zange khe ndive isidingo sokwenza ngaphambili kodwa ndavula imbali ndachwetheza “kwi-porn”. Akukho kwanto ivelileyo. Ndachwetheza ngamanye amagama ophonografi kodwa okwangoku, kwakungekho nto. Ndaziva ndifumana isiqabu ndaza ndacinga ukuba khange ibeyinto. Wayeziva enetyala nje ngokwenza umthetho osisiyatha kwaye wawaphula.
Emva koko yandibetha… ndachwetheza kwi-GOT. Imbali yakhe yokukhangela ineetoni zomxholo wesondo onxulumene nomboniso. Yabibuhlungu intliziyo yam. Ndichithe ixesha elingaphezulu konyaka ndikwabelana ngesondo kwaye ndanetyala kakhulu ukuphulula amalungu esini xa ndisenza ... oku. Ndijonge i-ipod yakhe kwaye nembali yesiqhelo yacinywa kodwa i-backup yayigcwele zi-porn. Wayephulula amalungu esini mihla le.
Ndigabhe. Ndabuza ukuba ingaba yinyani njani le. Wayekhe wagula! Kukhale umnxeba wam ndabe ndisazi ukuba usendleleni egodukayo. Ndathatha kwaye ndabuza ukuba ngaba ubukele iphonografi okanye hayi. Uye wathula. Ndibuzile ukuba unayo imeko yonyango. Khange aphendule. Ndamxelela ukuba ndiza kumala kwaye ekugqibeleni wathetha, "Ewe, ndibukele iphonografi kwaye hayi andinayo imeko yonyango"
Kubafundi apha abalikhoboka kwaye abangaxeleli amaqabane abo. Andikwazi ukubonisa ukuzingca kolo khetho. Njengokuba ubudlelwane obuvulekileyo kufuneka buxoxwe, ngokunjalo kufuneka iphonografi. Kuya kufuneka wenze imithetho kwaye uxoxe ngemida. Ukuba iqabane lakho alilunganga ne-porn kunokuba ungafuneki ubukele okanye ufumane omnye umntu. Ukuba iqabane lakho lilungile xa ubukele ixesha elide ubukele kunye kufuneka ubukele kunye. Konke malunga nokunyaniseka, unxibelelwano, kunye nokuthembana. Andicingi ukuba iphonografi imbi okanye imbi kodwa ndicinga ukuba xa isetyenziswa emfihlekweni yinto eyonakalisayo.
Emva kokuba yonke into ibiphezu kwetafile ndiye ndaba ngumdaka. Ngesiquphe ukuqondakala kubekwe ukuba umyeni wam ebengenayo imeko yezonyango eyeke ubomi bethu bezesondo. Wayekhetha isikrini ngaphezulu kwam kwaye andikaze ndizive ndimbi. Wazilahla zonke izixhobo zakhe ukuze angabinako ukubukela iphonografi kwaye wanditsalela umnxeba ngalo naliphi na ixesha lokuphumla ukuze ndizame ukwakha ukuthembana. Nangona kunjalo, ukuchacha kunzima.
Ngexesha lokuqala bendijongana nemiphumela emibi yomsindo. Ukuzithethelela ngezenzo zakhe umyeni wam wayendixelela yonke into ayifumanayo ingathandeki ngomzimba wam kwaye kwacaca ukuba indlela yakhe yokundibona igqwethekile. Ndifunde ukuba wayefanisa wonke umntu obhinqileyo awambona ehamba ze andinakuphuma endlwini ndingaziva ndincinci kwaye ndingabalulekanga. Undixelele ukuba ubukele iphonografi yonke imihla kwiselfowuni yakhe emsebenzini. Usebenza eofisini emaphandleni apho angenayo iselfowuni kwaye ndafunda ukuba ubeke umgudu wokusebenzisa irhasi kunye nemali ukufumana indawo apho anokuphulula amalungu esini. Ndatyhafiswa ziimbono zesondo awayenazo zomfazi, ngam, kunye nembono yokungaqiniseki ayenayo ngaye.
Indlela yokuphulukana yayide kwaye safika emva kokuqhawula umtshato emva kokugqabhuka kwakhe kobugovu, kodwa yadlula.
Unyaka omnye ucocekileyo kwaye ubomi bethu bobulili buphelele. Ndimthanda kwaye ndamthemba ngaphantsi kwam kodwa ukuphulukiswa kwam, kuya kuthatha ixesha elide.
Bendingasokuze nditshate naye ukuba bendazile ukuba ndizohamba ndingena ntoni kodwa ndiyazi ukuba uloyiko lokuzingca lulo olumenza angathethi inyani. Sukuthatha abo bakhetha ukuhamba okanye ukuhlala. Le yidemon yakho ekufuneka ujongane nayo kwaye akulunganga ukubeka umthwalo kumntu othi uyamthanda (Ndithi ndiyabathanda kuba uthando lokwenyani lubeka iimfuno zabanye ngaphambi kwezakho).
Waya ekucebiseni waza wenza konke akwaziyo ukungalahlekelwa yindoda, ngoko ke ndakhetha ukuhlala naye ngokubuyisa.
Amanye amagama avela kuye: “Ndilandele le reddit emva kokuba umfazi wam endibonisile amabali kwaye bekumnandi ukwazi ukuba andindedwa. Kuze kube ndibanjwe andizange ndivume ukuba i-pornography yinkinga kwaye ayizange idibanise ubomi bam ngokwesini ngexesha lokuchitha kwi-intanethi. Ndonzakalise umfazi wam kakubi kwaye iintlungu endizibonileyo ahamba kuzo ziyandikhathaza ngoku kunakuqala kwaye ndinqwenela ukuba ndingabuyela umva ndilungise yonke into. Ndizabalazile ngovelwano ngexesha lokuchacha kwam kwaye ngoku ndizabalaza ngokuxolela ukuzingca kwam. Ndizithembile ngakumbi ngoku kunokuba bendinjalo ngexesha lokusebenzisa kwam iphonografi kwaye ndicinga ngokunyanisekileyo ukuba umfazi wam ngowona mfazi mhle endakha ndambona, iinkwenkwezi ze-porn zibandakanya. Kunzima ukucacisa ukuba lutshintshe njani okanye nini olo luvo kodwa luyandonwabisa. Umfazi wam uthe akanangxaki nokuba ndisebenzisa iphonografi ngexesha lokwahlukana kwethu kodwa ndikhethe ukuyeka ngokupheleleyo. Ndiyazi ukuba abanye bacebisa ukuba ungabelani ngesondo neqabane lakho ngexesha lokuphindaphinda kodwa ndicinga ukuba ndifuna ukulala naye ukuze ndifunde ukuba kutheni ndicinga ukuba mhle. Khange sibe nesondo elininzi ekuqaleni kokubuyiselwa kodwa emva kweenyanga ezintlanu sabelana ngesondo ngeveki. Ngoku phantse yonke imihla. Umsindo endandiwuva nge-nofap wawusisiphumo sokungakwazi ukuphuma rhoqo kwaye ndiziva ngathi kukuphambuka kokwenza umfazi wam aphumelele kule ntlungu iminyaka. Yindlela enzima kodwa kufanelekile kwaye ndinqwenela ukuba ndikhe ndenza into kwangoko. ”
I-TLDR: Umyeni wayenomlutha wobugqwetha kodwa akazange andixelele. Ndixoke malunga nemeko yezonyango yokuchaza ubudlelwane bethu obungabelani ngesondo. Ndaya kuphila kwaye ngoku sonwabile kunakuqala.
Zive ukhululekile ukubuza omnye wethu imibuzo malunga namava ethu.
LINK - Ndiyindoda yomlutha wobudlova. Le ibali lam, i-AMA
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