Heyi wonke umntu! Ndiza kuyigcina imfutshane kodwa ndicinge nje ukuba ndingabelana ngamava am kwiNoFap.
Uhambo lwam kunye neNoFap mhlawumbi lwaqala kwiminyaka embalwa eyadlulayo kwaye kwakubonakala ngathi ngalo lonke ixesha ndizama, ekugqibeleni ndingasilela kwiintsuku ezimbalwa kamva. Oku kwaqhubeka iveki neveki, inyanga nenyanga ixesha elide kakhulu. Ndikhumbula "impumelelo" yam yokuqala yokwenene yayilawula ukufikelela kwiintsuku ze-30 kwaye kwakubonakala ngathi okwesibini kanye ndigqithise uphawu lwenyanga ye-1, ndabuyela kwakhona. Oku kwalandelwa kukubuyela emva kokubuyela emva kokuphinda ubuyele. Emva kweenyanga ezi-4 zokuphinda ndibuyele kwakhona, ndaqala ukuthandana nentombazana eyayingahambelani nam (kwaye ndandiyazi) kodwa ndahlala kuyo kuba ndandingafuni ukuyeka ubudlelwane. Obu budlelwane bokurhafisa buqhubekile kangangeenyanga ezi-6 njengoko bendiqala ukujikeleza ngakumbi nangakumbi ndingalawuleki nge-PMO. Ekugqibeleni wabuphelisa ubudlelwane ngenxa yomgama (kwafuneka ndifudukele emsebenzini) kwaye yandityumza. Bekungafanelanga ukuba – wandiphatha kakubi kwaye wala ukundibeka kwindawo yokuqala ebomini bakhe – kodwa nangona kunjalo, kwakubuhlungu kum. Kulapho uhambo lwam oluya kwiNoFap lutyatyambe ngokwenene.
Bendixhelekile kubudlelwane obekungafanelanga bube buhlungu kum. Ukungabi nabunzulu beemvakalelo kwandibangela ukuba ndikhangele iindawo ezinokukhokelela kutshintsho olulungileyo ebomini bam. Ndikhubeke kwi-NoFap kwakhona kwaye ndacinga ukuba ndiza kuyinika enye ishot.
Iiveki ezi-2 zokuqala okanye zezona zinzima kodwa ndiye ndaqinisekisa ukuba andinikezeli (ngokucacileyo kulula ukuthetha kunokukwenza). Ukubona nje ikhawuntara yam iqhubeka isanda kwandikhuthaza ngokwenene kwaye bendihlala ndijonga iveki nganye ukubona utshintsho lwe icon. Yayilutshintsho olulula lwe-icon yekhawuntari eyandinceda ukutshintsha ubomi bam bonke.
Kwiiveki ezimbalwa kamva, ndenze itheko labanye abahlobo kwaye ndamema le ntombazana imangalisayo. Ndinebhiya, ipizza, kunye nomculo ngalo lonke ixesha ndingqongwe yinkampani enkulu. Phakathi kwendibaniselwano yotywala kunye nokucula iintliziyo zethu kumculo ophelelwe lixesha, sonke salala siguqukile kwizikhundla ezahlukeneyo esofeni. Ndavuka ezinzulwini zobusuku ndaza ndabona wonke umntu equmbile. Ndingene egumbini lam lokulala ndathatha ingubo ndamgquma ngayo ndisenzela ukuba afudumale kwade kwasa xa egoduka. Ndithe ndisakwenza njalo wavuka kwangoko amehlo ethu avaleleka ngendlela endingazange ndiyibone ngaphambili. Sachitha iiyure sincokola nje. Emva kwexesha elithile, uye wagqabhuka ukuba ufuna ukundincamisa kwaye yayikuphela kwenkcazelo endandiyidinga. Ukususela kwisesibini imilebe yethu yadibana, sasingahlukani ngokupheleleyo.
Olo lwalamano lwathabatha unyaka onesiqingatha kodwa yaba lelona xesha libalaseleyo ebomini bam. Ndabelana naye ngeengxaki zam kunye ne-PMO kwaye wayeyixhasa ngokupheleleyo indlela yam entsha yokuphila ngaphandle kwe-porn kunye ne-masturbation. Yandivumela ukuba ndikhululeke kuloo hambo inetyhefu yaza yandinika ubomi bam bakudala apho ndandinokuba sisidenge okanye ndizimisele ngendlela endandifuna ukuba yiyo. Ngaba indinika la "mandla amakhulu" wonke umntu athetha ngawo? Hayi. Le nto iyenzileyo yathatha indawo yokuziphatha okuyingozi kakhulu kwaye yandivumela ukuba ndikhulise imikhwa esempilweni eyakhokelela kubomi obungcono.
Emva kokuba ndigqithise kumanqaku onyaka omnye, ndaye ndagqiba ekubeni ndinikezele ngokuzithandela kwaye ndiphinde ndibuyele. Isigqibo esinye esincinci ngoko nangoko sabuyisa umlutha kwaye ibe ngumlo onyukayo ukusukela ngoko. Jonga kwikhawuntara yam…yup, iwimpy 2 days. Kodwa kulungile kuba ndiyazi kwiiveki nje ezimbalwa, ndizakufika kwinyanga kwaye iintsuku ziya kubhabha njengoko ndisonwabela ubomi endibuboniswe nguNoFap ukuba ndibufanele.
Ukuba kukho ulwazi endingathanda ukwabelana ngalo, kukuba kufuneka uzinike ithuba lokonwaba. Ngaba iNoFap iya kunyanga yonke into? Akunjalo. Kodwa ngokuqinisekileyo inceda ekwakheni isiseko esiluqilima esinokufunyanwa kuso ulonwabo.
Ndiyazi ukuba olu yayilubudlelwane obuncinci-bunzima, kodwa bendifuna ukuyisebenzisa njengendawo yokuthengisa kuba ndibona izithuba ezininzi malunga nokungaze ube nentombi okanye ukwanga kuqala okanye nantoni na. Yonke into okhe wayifuna ilinde nje ukuba ufikelele kwaye uyibambe.
Enkosi ngokufunda. Ithamsanqa kuni nonke.
LINK - I-365 Day Report
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