Ukusukela malunga ne-13 yeminyaka eyi-11 kwiminyaka eyadlulayo, ndiye ndatsibela iphonografi kwi-porn ngawo onke amathuba. Ngexesha ndandiyi-16 okanye i-17 yaya iba rhabaxa kanye ngosuku. Kwakunqabile ukuba ndihambe ngaphezulu kweentsuku ezimbalwa ngaphandle kwazo.
Ndiqale ngokuzama ukwenza umzamo wokuphepha i-porn kufutshane ne-2017. Ndingaba nemitsi emide phakathi kwe-30 neentsuku ze-60 apha naphaya kodwa emva koko ndinamaxesha amade okubuyela phakathi. Yayililinge le-ass-half-assed nayo, njengoko ndingayi kuthatha njengokukopela ukuba ndibaleka ngaphandle kwamanyala, ukubukela iphonografi ngaphandle kokutsiba, okanye ukuvela kwam ujonga intombi yam ngelo xesha.
Intombi yam yayihlala ixhasa kakhulu. Uza kungena kunye nam ukuze ubone ukuba kuqhubeka njani, kwaye abe nebhongo ngam ngomzamo wokuba ngaba nangoku ndikwi-streak elungileyo. Ngaphandle koko, ngokuqinisekileyo yayiyimbinana kulwalamano. I-porn yandinika imvo epheleleyo yesondo, kwaye ndicinga ukuba ngokuqinisekileyo ibiyinto enkulu yokuba kutheni sathandana kakhulu kunyaka ophelileyo. Ukujonga kwakhona, zazikhona iindlela endandimsebenzisa ngazo njengesixhobo sokuphulula amalungu esini kunokuhlangana neqabane lokwabelana ngamava osondeleyo kunye naye.
Ndingaphinda ndibuyeke kamnandi ngalo lonke ixesha ebengekho okanye ngalo naliphi na ixesha elide esingazange silale naye. Ke phezu kokuzithemba okuphantsi oza ne-porn, ndiye ndanocaphuka kwaye ndicaphuka ngenxa yakhe yokungalali nam, kwaye ke andizukuya kwi-porn ukuba angathanda. Andazi ke ngeloxesha, uthetha izinto ezinje azihlali zenza intombazana ifune ukuku fuck. Kwaye ke, ikhoboka lam le-porn alinanto yakwenza naye kwaye ndisebenzisa loo nto njenge-scapegoat. Ke izinto beziya zisanda nangakumbi, sifumana iimpikiswano ngalo lonke ixesha, kwaye besihlala kunye ke uxinzelelo khange luyeke.
Ke ngo-Epreli emva kweminyaka ephantse ye-3 saba nesiphithiphithi esihle, kwaye phakathi kwezinye iindlela endizibhubhisayo, ndaphinda ndabuya nzima. Bendingenamsebenzi, ndingenamali, imali yam ibisepasethini kwaye bekufuneka ndibuyele kubazali bam ndinomsila phakathi kwemilenze yam, ngaphandle kwakhe ndilahlekelwe yinto yokugqibela endaziva ukuba indinike injongo.
Ke eyona nto ndandicinga ukuba iya kundinika intuthuzelo yayiyinto engamanyala. Kwandithatha iinyanga ezimbalwa ukuba ndiqaphele, kodwa ukubetha ilitye elisezantsi yeyona nto ibinokwenzeka kum. Ekuphela kwendlela yokuya phezulu. Ndikwazile ukuzakha ngokwam ukususela ekuqaleni ngaphandle komxholo wolwalamano. Ndiye ndaqala ukusebenza kwaye ndikwimeko entle yobomi bam, ukutya ngcono (ndizuze iipawundi ze20 ekubeni ndingathathi ntweni), ukusebenza kumculo wam endingakhange ndenze nto kuwo phantse unyaka, nokuchitha ixesha nabahlobo kunye nosapho Ndiza kuba kude. Ndifumene nomsebenzi omtsha! Ewe kunjalo, ndiqale indlela enzima kwaye namhlanje bendingenayo i-PMO yeentsuku ze-90, eyeyona ndlela yam ibude kakhulu kwisithuba seminyaka elishumi.
Ibineziphumo ezinomdla ezimbalwa. Eyona nto inomdla ngumzimba, kubo bonke ubomi ukususela emva kokufikisa, andizange ndibenamaphupha amanzi. Kwaye iintsuku zokuqala ze-36 zemodi enzima andizange ndiyenze, kodwa ukusukela ngoko ndinayo enye kanye ngeveki. Kwaye oko kukubophelela kwinto elandelayo: Ndiyamangalisa kakhulu horny. Njeng, ngaphambi koku ndingathanda ukuba neentlobano zesini, kodwa yayiyinto entle, yonke imvakalelo yengqondo, ngelixa ngoku ivakalelwa njengombono opheleleyo visceral ngendlela endingaqhelananga nayo. Kwaye kuyavakala ukuba angazibeki kwangoko ezo mvakalelo ngokujonga iphonografi okanye ezayo, kodwa ukuhlala nje kweso saziso ukuba kunjani ngaphandle kwesidingo sokwenza into ngayo. Andisafumani “minqweno” kwakhona, kuba andizidibanisi nemvakalelo yolonwabo lwesini ngokufuna ukwaneliseka kwangoko.
Phambi kwale nto, andikhange ndibenayo nayiphi na imiba ebangela ukuzithemba kwangaphandle, kodwa ngoku ndiziva ndinamathandabuzo kunye nokuxhalaba ngendlela endinokungena ngayo kwiimeko zentlalo ndiziva ndikhululekile ukuba yeyokwam, inyani.
Kwaye mhlawumbi okonwabisayo, kwiiveki ezimbalwa ezidlulileyo ndiye ndaqala ukuhamba ngemihla okokuqala ngqa kuba owam nentombazana entsha, kwaye uyamangalisa.
Ndivakalelwa njengokubetha okumnandi kwento yokuba umhla wam we-90th ukhona kwi-Thanksgiving, kwaye ndinombulelo kakhulu kuba ndiyenzile le nto ukuza kuthi ga ngoku. Kwaye kuvakala ngathi uhambo lwam lisaqala nje.
LINK - Iintsuku ze-90!
;