Okokuqala ndifuna ukutsho ukuba kuyinyani kangakanani le webhusayithi, kwaye yandinceda kangakanani kule minyaka i-3 idlulileyo. Nangona ndingazange ndibenoluhlobo lokubhalisa kwaye ndilandele inkqubela yam, iphepha lempumelelo lihlala lithembele kum lonke lolu hambo, kwaye ngaphandle kokufumanisa oku kunye ne-YBOP bendiya kuhlala ndikwindawo enye ukuba uthixo uyazi ukuba kude kube nini.
Kancinci ngam-ndingumfana oneminyaka eyi-19 ndihlala eCornwall, eNgilane. Ngokubanzi ulunge kwaye uyasebenza, kwaye akukho ndlela ndinokuyithatha njengendoda embi, ochithe lonke ukukhula kwakhe engakwazi ukulala ngesondo okanye ukukwazi ukuthanda nabani na okanye nantoni na. Mhlawumbi ndafumanisa i-porn nge-12/13, kwaye kule minyaka ingama-7 idlulileyo bendiye kuhambo olucekisekayo, lokugulisa kuzo zonke iindawo zokuhambisa iphonografi. Nangona ndandingaxhamli ngovuyo, le ndlela yokoneliseka kwangoko yayindiphungula kunye neemvakalelo zam, apho izinto ezincinci endandizonwabela njengomntwana yayiyimisebenzi nje ekufuneka ndiyenzile suku ngalunye ukuze ndizive kufanelekile eluntwini. Ukuhlalisana, indalo, usapho, imidlalo, uyibiza ngegama. Kuphela kube kudlule eli nqanaba apho uyayiqonda into yokuba ungakanani uhamba nje ngaphandle kobomi bokwenene, okanye uthando. Andizukungena kwiinkcukacha zento endiyibukeleyo, okanye ndibukele kangakanani, kodwa ndingatsho ngokukhuselekileyo ukuba imeko yam imbi njengaleyo imbi kakhulu endiyifunde kule webhusayithi. Naliphi na ilinge lokwabelana ngesondo kuyo yonke le minyaka i-3 idlulileyo ibilusizi, nehlazo lokuzama ukunyanzelisa ulwakhiwo ngaphandle kokufumana ulwaneliseko kwiimeko ezinqabileyo ebezisebenza. Eyona nto imbi ngayo yonke le nto kukuba bendicinga ukuba oku kuqhelekile, kwaye nje ukuba ndifike ekhaya ayinamsebenzi, kuba bendinokuvula ikhompyuter yam ndiyivumele incancise umphefumlo wam kwaye indenze ndizive ndilungile kwakhona. Andizange ndithande mntu. Usapho, abahlobo, amantombazana, bonke babengabantu nje endithetha nabo bengenantsingiselo. Kwakuyiminyaka emi-3 eyadlulayo ndakhubeka kule webhusayithi.
Ndibhala le ngoku i-6 kwiinyanga emva kokugqibela ndibukele naluphi na uhlobo lwe-porn.
Xa uqala kolu hambo, kunzima ukucinga ukuba kunokuba nzima kangakanani. Ayisiyiyo tu imeko yokuziva wothukile, ukuziva unomdla wokungaphindi ubukele i-porn kwakhona, kukulwa okungapheliyo kwengqondo nomzimba wakho njengoko ingqondo yakho ibulawa yile nto imangalisayo iyinto yokwanelisa kwangoko kwangoko. Ndigcinile incwadi ye-streaks zam, eyona iphezulu kwiminyaka ye-3 njengeentsuku ze-40, kwaye ndaziva ndingenabuntu ngelo xesha. Ndandixakiwe ngokungathandekiyo kumantombazana, (ngaphandle komzamo) ndisebenza yonke imihla, ndifunda ukupheka, ndiqhuba kakuhle ekholejini ndingasatshayi nokhula. Kodwa into endiyaziyo ngoku kukuba ayisiyonto yokuhamba nje kweentsuku ze-40 kwaye ulindele ukuba yonke into ibe ntle, hayi nokuba incinci. Kufuneka ukuba ibe yindlela yokuphila, ungaze uthathele ingqalelo ukuba iphonografi kufuneka nokuba yinxalenye yobomi bakho. Lahla naziphi na iingcinga ezinjengokuthi 'ukuba ndingayibukela ngoku, kwiiveki ze-2 ndiya kuziva ndibuyele kwindlela endenza ngayo ngoku' (enye ephinda ibeke umqolo wam). Into eyothusayo yenzekile ekupheleni kwezo ntsuku ze-40, kwaye nengqondo yam ngokukhawuleza yaxhumaxhuma kwi-porn njengendlela yokujongana nale meko, kulapho ndandisazi ukuba andiphilanga. Into endiyifundileyo kukuba ukuba ujika kwi-porn njengendlela yokubaleka yonke imeko yobomi, awusoze ukhule njengomntu kwaye ujongane neemeko zobomi bokwenyani ngendlela eqhelekileyo umntu onokuthi. Kungenxa yesi sizathu sokuba amaxesha apho umnqweno wokubukela iphonografi ukwinqanaba labo elinamandla, lelona xesha lilungileyo lokuphola kwaye uphinde uphile.
Ndiyaphuma emgceni- zeziphi iinyanga ezi-6 zenzelwe mna.
Iinyanga zokuqala ze-3 yobomi bam be-porn yasimahla ndachithwa ndihamba i-Asia (i-gap yesiqhelo yomfundi waminyaka le endiyaziyo). Ixesha elininzi bendingenayo i-intanethi, kwaye ke kunyanzelekile ukuba ndijongane nokurhoxiswa kwaye iimeko zobomi benene ziya kundiphosa. Ndaphoswa phantsi esiphelweni esinzulu, kodwa ndingatsho ngokunyanisekileyo ukuba ngaphandle kwezo iinyanga ze3 bendihamba ngekhe ndiphole. Kwakundinyanzela ukuba ndizive ndinomdla kwizinto, ndizicingele, ndihlale ndinxulumana nabantu, kwaye ndiphuthelwe lusapho lwam ngokungathi akukho kusasa. Ndandinazo iindawo eziphakamileyo kakhulu kolo hambo, kodwa eyona nto iphambili kakhulu. Ndikhale okokuqala kwiminyaka engaphelanga inyanga ye2nd. Hayi nje iinyembezi nje ezincinci, ndithetha ukuba ubuso bam bonke buye ngqo kwigumbi lam lokuhlala, amehlo am aphuma phakathi kwendawo kodwa ndiziva ndimangalisa ngaxeshanye. Ndingayichaza kuphela njengemvakalelo yomntu. Oku kwenzeke izihlandlo ezininzi kuhambo, nganye nganye yandenza ndomelela kwaye ndonwabile ukuba ndiziva izinto kwakhona, kwakungathi ukuzalwa ngokutsha. Emva kokuba ndifikile ekhaya ndinexesha lokuncipha, isoyikiso sokuba ndiye eNgilani ndinxibile kwaye ndibuyele egumbini lam apho bendidla ngokuhlala ndedwa kwiintsuku zam ndedwa, ngaphandle kwesi sihlandlo ndaziva kungekho mfuneko yokwenza into enjalo.
Kwiiveki nje ezimbalwa ndadibana nentombazana. Abona bantu basetyhini bamangalisayo, bahlekisayo, abanobubele nabahle endikhe ndadibana nabo. Sihlangene kwiinyanga ze2 ngoku; Ndisemathandweni kwaye ndiyathandeka kakhulu ukuba indenze ndingaqhelekanga ukuthetha ngayo. Nawuphi na umkhondo we-porn eyenziweyo ye-ED ihambile, ndingakwazi ukugcina ii-erections ezomeleleyo iiyure, kwaye ndinomtsalane ngokusemthethweni kuye; ngokungafani ngaphambi kokuba ndiyazi ukuba injani intombazana eshushu kodwa ngathi ayiva. Ndingathanda ukutsho ukuba ndiphilisiwe ngokupheleleyo, kodwa inyani ikukuba uyithathela ingqalelo loo nto engqondweni awunakuqiniseka ukuba awubuyi. Ndisekoluhambo, kwaye ndinomdla wokunceda abanye endleleni. Emva kwayo yonke loo nto, le webhusayithi yisizathu sokuba ndibhale le posi.
Ndishiye okuninzi kule (kude kakhulu), kodwa ndicinga ukuba igubungela uninzi lweebits. Ungaze ulahle ithemba, ndithetha ngokungathí sina, ungalahli ithemba. Ixesha ngumphilisi omkhulu, kwaye iiposti kule webhusayithi kufuneka zenze kucace ukuba i-nofap iyasebenza.
Nceda uzive ukhululekile ukubuza nantoni na, ndiyanithanda nonke.
Ongaziwayo x
LINK - Ukufumana kwakhona ngokupheleleyo kubukhoboka obuluqilima
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