Ndandilikhoboka le-8+ iminyaka. Kwaye ndineenzame ezininzi zeentsuku ezingama-30 ezingaphumelelanga ngaphambili ngoko ndaziva ndingenathemba. Ndanditshaya for only like 4 months ndayeka ngoko nangoko ndaqonda ukuba ayindincedi nganto. Kuthathe njengeeveki ezi-2 ukuqaphela imeko yam embi kwaye ndiyitshintshe, into endiyenzayo ngoku: Ndihamba nje isifuba sam sikhukhumele ngakumbi kwaye ndihlala ndijonge phezulu okanye ngqo, ndingaze ndihle. Kwaye ndinobuso obunzulu, obugxininisekile ebusweni bam.
Iyaphambana, izivamvo zendalo ziya kusebenza kakhulu kwakhona. ke kulapho iqala khona kodwa ngamava am nje inokuba nde okanye mfutshane kwabanye.
Kusafuneka ndikhangele "i-goth" kwi-Instagram ngamanye amaxesha ngenxa yokuba loo nto yayiyeyona nto yam ukususela ekubeni ndandineminyaka eyi-11. La mantombazana e-emo adandathekileyo aseludidi lwam oluphambili kodwa ndivakalelwa ukuba lutshintsha ngokuthe ngcembe ukuya kumantombazana afanelekileyo, aphilileyo.
Andizange ndikholelwe [i-nofap yokwandisa ingqalelo kubasetyhini] ekuqaleni kodwa intombazana yesikolo sam esidala endandithandana nayo yandithumelela umyalezo ku-FB emva kweminyaka eyi-2 ngokungaqhelekanga kwaye wayesebenza kwindawo efanayo nam. Ke amantombazana amaninzi aphendula kumabali am e-IG, akuzange kube njalo. Ndicinga ukuba kungenxa yokuba uqala ukuthumela umxholo ongcono kwaye bayayiqonda loo nto. … Intombazana isenza izinto ngeenwele zayo, njengokuwangawangisa, ize ijonge kuwe ukuba uyiqaphele na. Ndiyazama ukuba ndingajongi intombi xa isenza lonto ukubonisa ukuba andikho desperate. Oko kuyasebenza.
[Ukurhoxa] amaza ayaphambana, ndibetha nje umoya, ndimamele umculo ondlongondlongo ukuze ndidlule. Okanye ngamanye amaxesha ndide ndikhale kwaye ulale, emva koko uvuke uhlaziyekile kwakhona. Kunzima, kodwa kuya kubangcono suku ngalunye.
Ndifundela ukuphumelela kwisikolo samabanga aphakamileyo (ndisilele kulo nyaka uphelileyo), ndiqala ishishini ukwenza uyilo oluninzi lwewebhu kwaye okwangoku ndibukele iividiyo zokuziphuhlisa kwi-RSD endaweni ye-ASMR okanye iphonografi.
Ndifuna nje ukwabelana ngamava am, ndiyasebenza ngoku Usuku 81:
Ukuba usetyenziselwa ukubukela i-porn kunye ne-fapping iminyaka emininzi njengam (iminyaka eyi-10 +), ndineminyaka eyi-20 ngoku, ngoko ingqondo yakho inomlutha kuloo meko ebuhlungu ukuba iya kuba yinto enzima kakhulu ebomini bakho. yeka loo mkhwa. Ngumceli mngeni onzima kum ukuqhubeka. Kwaye ukuba ukuloo meko ilusizi (uSuku lwe-0), ndiyazi ukuba uyimfama kwaye uqhawule umtshato nehlabathi kangangokuba ucinga ukuba kuyinto eqhelekileyo ukugxumeka wedwa kwigumbi elimnyama ukuze ufumane i-porn kunye ne-shit. Ngapha koko, nje ukuba uthathe isigqibo sokuziphilisa kwaye uthathe uxanduva ngobomi bakho, ingqondo yakho iya kukuvavanya…kakhulu!
Usuku 1 -Elula, yaqala ngomhla wokuqala ka-2019 kodwa ndacaphuka kukuba i-fap yam yokugqibela yayingekho kwiphonografi "entle". Bullshit ingqondo block.
Usuku 7 -Okokuqala ndingoyena uhlekisayo kwiqela, ndizive ndidakumbile kancinci.
Usuku 14 -Ndandinamaphupha amabi kakhulu, iingcinga zohlobo lwe-jumpscare, ingqondo yam yayindivavanya ukuba ndiza kuzithoba kwiidemon zam njengoko ndandihlala ndisenza.
Usuku 30 - Ndizive ndikhuthazekile kwakhona, ndilungise ukuma komzimba wam, ndiyalibona ivumba, ulwimi lomzimba lwamantombazana, amantombazana andijonge kakhulu, adlale ngeenwele zawo ngenxa yendlela endizithwala ngayo, enye intombazana yasondela kum. Ayiyontombi ishushu nyani kodwa yandonwabe kakhulu lonto.
Nditshintshe incasa yam yomculo ukusuka kwi-suicidal rap ukuya kumculo ophakamisayo.
Usuku 34 – Ndaqalisa ukusebenza esibhedlele, umsebenzi wam wokuqala. Ndibona ukukhanya ngaphezu kobumnyama kwiindawo ezahlukeneyo.
Ngeli xesha ndiye ndahlamba kancinci ngokujonga i-PornHub kodwa ndayijika yaba sisifundo esibi kakhulu = Ndibukele enye yezo vidiyo apho intombazana ikuxelela ukuba ungento yanto kwaye awukwazi ukulawula ibhoner yakho njl njl. ndiqeqeshe ukugxila kwam kwaye ndakwazi ukungafumani enye lol. Ivalwe indawo kwaye ayizange ibuye.
Usuku 60 -Unyuswe phezulu = Yeka ukutshaya icuba, isitayile esifanayo njengoko ndenze ngefap kunye ne-porn. Amaphupha amabi angakumbi kunye nezibongozo kodwa azange azithobe kuloo nto kwaye uhlala eziva engcono kakhulu ngosuku olulandelayo. Ndiqalise ukulungelelanisa iintsuku zam kwaye ndabeka injongo ethile yalo nyaka.
Usuku 81 -Ndiseneentsuku ezimnyama kakhulu, uhlaselo oluninzi kodwa ndihlala ndilwa nalo kwaye ndizive ndingcono ngosuku olulandelayo-ingqondo yam ivavanya ukuba ndiphumelele kangakanani na. Iza ngamaza kwaye ngalo lonke ixesha usinda, unyuka kwinqanaba. Ndimele nditsho ukuba ndiziva bhetele kunangaphambili. Luxinzelelo oluninzi kodwa ndiyazi ukuba andisoze ndibuyele umva.
Ndihambe ndayothenga iintsuku ezimbalwa emva koko ndaqaphela malunga namantombazana ali-10 enza into yeenwele phambi kwam, amantombazana ama-2 amancinci athi molo.
Kuya kuba nzima yonke imihla kodwa ekugqibeleni ndiziva ndiPHILA kwakhona. Ndiyakwazi ukumelana noxinzelelo ngoku.
INYANISO EYOMNWABO: Njengoko ingqondo yakho isiba ngcono, uyakuqala ukuthumela uhlobo olwahlukileyo lwesiqulatho kwi-IG yakho njlnjl. – Amantombazana aya kuqaphela oko kwaye akuthumelele umyalezo ngakumbi! Andizange ndikholelwe oko ekuqaleni kodwa yinyaniso!
LINK - Ingqondo yakho iziphilela ngamaza! Ekugqibeleni ndiziva ndiphila kwakhona!
By Bundloo
;