Ndingu 25. Ndandihlala ndixhalabile ekuhlaleni, kwaye ubudlelwane obuhle ngokwenene babuphelile kuba bendihlala ndidiniwe, ndinomsindo, kwaye ndingenamdla kwiqabane lam. Ngoku andikhe ndidinwe, ndizithembe ekuhlaleni, kwaye ndicaphuka maxa wambi nangendlela eyenza ukuba ndivelise ngakumbi. Emva kokuba ndikwiNoFap streaks on-and-off malunga nonyaka, le streak yeyokuqala endiye ndacoca inqaku lenyanga enye.
Makhe ndikuxelele, ngakumbi abo baqala nje kwaye kwimihla yokuqala yemigudu yabo, utshintsho lwengqondo oluziswa yinyanga ye-NoFap luyinyani, kwaye ndiyaqala ukucinga ukuba uninzi lweetern-touted superpowers ukubonakaliswa ngokukodwa kotshintsho lwengqondo.
Ngobusuku bokugqibela, ndaya kwiklabhu nomhlobo wam ngephanyazo. Andinanjongo ithile engqondweni. Ndandifuna nje ukuzenzekelayo kwaye ndonwabe. Olu lolunye utshintsho olusuka kwi-pre-NoFap me, ngubani obeya kuphela ngenjongo yokufumana umntu oza kudibana naye. Ngokwesiqhelo, le klabhu iyaphuma. Phezolo bekuhleli. Abantu babehleli nje ngokwamaqela abo, kwaye nangona u-DJ wayesenza eyakhe indima, kwakungekho mntu udanisayo. Emva kwemizuzu embalwa ndibelapho, ndaxelela umhlobo wam “ndiza kunyuka ndiye kudanisa.” Kwaye ndenzile. Ndakhwela eqongeni ngaphambili kwegumbi, kanye phambi kwe-DJ, ndaza ndaqala ukudanisa nangayiphi na indlela endiziva ngayo indalo.
Makhe ndicace: andinguye umdanisi olungileyo. Ndilixhala kolohlobo lwesingqisho-engaphantsi emhlophe qhwa. Bendiqonda ukuba mhlawumbi ndijonga kancinci. Kodwa ngeentsuku ze-41 ze-NoFap, ndinike i-zero fuck ngokupheleleyo malunga nale nyaniso. Ndalapho ukuzonwabisa, kwaye le yayiyindlela yokuziyolisa, kwaye - nangona indala yayinokuba neentloni kwaye ikwazi ukuzibamba - andikhathalelanga konke oko kucingwa ngomnye umntu kwiklabhu.
Kwisithuba semizuzu eli-10, inqanaba ebelingenanto laligcwele. Ndaguquka ngaxeshanye, kwaye ngesiquphe kwabakho umdaniso ojikeleze mna. Abanye abantu babelungile, abanye babemdaka njengam kodwa bengazithembi kangako, ubukhulu becala bemi ngeenxa zonke bejikeleza kancinci, kodwa wonke umntu wayefuna ukuba lapho. Kwaye ke amantombazana awayefudula ebharini aqala ukuza kwinqanaba lokudanisa nam. Okokuqala, emva koko xa wayesiya kukha amanzi aze athethe nabahlobo bakhe, omnye, emva koko omnye. Andikuthandi, bekukho ucango olujikelezayo lomfazi owayefuna ukudanisa nam. Kuzo zonke iimeko, basondela kwaye bancuma kum, emva koko ndababamba ngezandla ndibakhokele kwimidaniso endifuna ukuyenza nabo. Ngamnye kubo wayekhazimla; Bakhangeleka bonwabile ukuba phezulu phaya bedanisa nam kwaye bengahlali nje kwi-bar besenza intetho encinci. Omnye wabo wada wathi "ungumdanisi olungileyo!" Njengoko besenditshilo ngaphambilana, loo ngxelo ibubuxoki, kodwa ndicinga ukuba ukuzithemba kwam kunye nesimo sengqondo se-dgaf esamvumela ukuba azikhulule kwaye onwabe nje wamenzela amava amnandi kangangokuba wawutolika njengomdaniso olungileyo. Le ntombazana inye yandisondeza kuye, yathatha intloko yam ezandleni zayo yandiphuza esidleleni ngaphambi kokuba ithi "kufuneka ndibuyele kubahlobo bam."
Endidala ngendiye ndazama ukucinga ngenye indlela yokuphinda ndithethe naye ngaphambi kokuba ahambe ngethemba lokudibana okanye awele ubusuku bonke, ndicinga ukuba ndoyisakele ukutywina isivumelwano kwaye ndiphicotha yonke into Izizathu zokuba ndisilele. Kodwa entsha ndandicinga nje "wow, kwakumnandi" kwaye ndaqhubeka nokwenza into endiyenzayo, ndingakhathali nokuba ndiza kuphinda ndidibane naye kwakhona. Akuzange kube kudala kwafika enye intombazana kum kwaye yaqala ukudanisa nam. Bendingayifuni. Andizange ndinethemba lokuba uza kuyifumana. Kwenzekile nje, ngaphandle (okanye mhlawumbi ngenxa) yokungakhathali kwinto yonke eyayingendonwabisi ngokwemigaqo yam. Emva kokuba sidanise malunga nemizuzu engama-20, wazisa abahlobo bakhe ababini kum wathi mabadanise nam. Le nkqubo yenzeka kaninzi. Kuya kufuneka ndidanise iiyure ezi-3 ngqo ngobo busuku. Ndaziva ndonwabile kwaye ndingenaxhala, kwaye kwakubonakala ngathi kuye kwahlikihla wonke umntu okwenye iklabhu. U-DJ wade wandibetha ngamanqindi ngelinye ixesha, mhlawumbi ndinombulelo wokuba ndifumene igumbi ukuze ndiqale ukuya kumculo wakhe.
Ngapha koko, i-dudes, into endizama ukuyifumana kukuba ngaphezulu nje kwenyanga yeNoFap yenze utshintsho lwengqondo olwaguqula umntu oneentloni ngokungapheliyo kubomi beklabhu, umfana owayedla ngokuya nabafazi rhoqo, eshiya amaqela abo abafana nabahlobo bamantombazana ukuze bonwabe kunye naye. Ndicinga ukuba konke kubangelwa luvuyo olulula lokuba uphile kwaye ungakhathali malunga nokuba abanye abantu bacinga ntoni xa ungazalanga; yenza i-polar ejongene ne-creepy vibe, kwaye abafazi bayazithatha ezi zinto. Yomelelani, bazalwana bam; kukho uvuyo olukhulu kunye nolonwabo ukuba nalo.
tl; dr NoFap ukuzithemba kunye novuyo kuphuma kuwe, kukwenze ube ngumazibuthe kwabanye abantu. Undivumele ukuba ndijike iklabhu efileyo ibe liqela eliphumayo kwaye yabangela ukuba amabhinqa amahle asondele kum ukuba adanise ubusuku bonke.
Kuya kufuneka uthathe isigqibo sokuba uya konwaba nokuba imeko ithini kwaye awuthatheli ngqalelo izimvo zabanye abantu ekusenokwenzeka ukuba abazonwabisi. Ukuziqonda ngokwakho kolu hlobo lwemeko kukusisiseko sokunikezela kulawulo kuye wonke umntu ongenguye; Bafumana ukuyalela ukuba uyonwaba okanye awuzonwabisi kwaye ngawaphi amagama. Ukuvumela umntu ongonwabanga ukuba achaze indlela okonwaba ngayo kufana nokufunda intetho yomntu osisimumu.
Kwakucacile kum nakumhlobo wam ukuba ndikhawuleze ndanyuka ngokwasemzimbeni kunye nababini kubafazi ababedanisa kunye nam. Kodwa yayingeyonjongo yam leyo. Ndazonwabisa njengoko izinto zazinjalo, kwaye ukuba ndinyanisekile umbono wokuba isini esingenantsingiselo sele ungathandeki ixesha elide ndenza i-NoFap. Ke ndandiba nobusuku obumnandi ukudanisa kunye nabafazi abaninzi abahle ndagoduka xa ndiqala ukudinwa, ngaphandle kokuzisola okanye iingxaki kusasa olandelayo.
LINK - Utshintsho lwengqondo luyinyani (Ibali elinomtsalane)
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