Eli linge lam lokuqala eNo Fap, ndiyathemba ukuba ibali lam liza kukhuthaza abantu abalwa nesiyobisi. Njengabaninzi apha, ndatsaleleka kwi-PMO kwiminyaka yam yeshumi elivisayo, le generic yakha yakha ukusuka kwi-skinemax flicks ukuya kwi-hardcore porn. Ngandlela-thile, ndakwazi ukugcina ubomi obulungeleleneyo kwaye ndinokunxibelelana rhoqo noluntu, ngaphandle kokusebenzisa kwam i-porn; Okanye bendinguye?
Ndandikhanyela malunga nokuba wawunzima kangakanani umlutha wam, ekubeni ngumntu "osebenzayo" wandenza ndakholelwa ukuba ndingakwazi ukwenza ubudlelwane obunempilo kunye noononophala kunye nabanye abantu.
Njengoko iminyaka ihamba, ukuthembela kwam kwi-porn kuye kukhula ngakumbi kwaye ndaphelelwa kukuzibophelela ngokupheleleyo kulo naluphi na ulwalamano. Ndibetha ezantsi kwe-2015-17 xa ndandiqala ukukhulisa i-database yakho yezigcawu ezikhethwe nguwe, ingqokelela kakuhle ngaphezulu kwe-4TB.
Ukuxhomekeka kwam kwabasetyhini bokwenyani ngesondo kuncitshiswe kakhulu, bendithandana kodwa ndinomnqweno omncinci wokunyuka ngesondo; I had my stash porn to fall back on, oku kwakulula kunokuba ndiqalise isondo lokwenyani.
Ukukhawuleza phambili kwi-2017, ndawa kule ntombazana kwaye okokuqala kwiminyaka ndalandela umfazi, ngenkuthalo. Besithandana iinyanga ezimbalwa, sisanomdla kwi-porn kwaye singathandabuzi ukuthatha ubudlelwane ukuya kwinqanaba elilandelayo, nangona sasithandana kwaye bendimnqwenela ngandlela zonke ukuba nicinga.
Ndizamile ukunciphisa i-porn ukuze ndisondelelene naye kodwa bekunzima nyani ke ngeloxesha, inkuthazo ibingekho nje kwaye bendisilela ukuphindaphinda.
Ekugqibeleni wenza ukunyuka kwaye sasibekelwe indawo, umfazi oqaqambileyo, ohamba ze, omangalisayo, ezingalweni zam, yonke into endicinga ukuba uyakuba yiyo. Wayelungile, ndandingekho (njengokuba uninzi lwenu lusazi ukuba luhamba njani… limp dikzit!). Elona xesha lihlazo ebomini bam; Ndabona ukudana emehlweni akhe njengoko wayezama ukuyifihla, kwakundikhathaza ukuba ndinganikwa inqanaba lokusondela awayekulangazelela.
Andizange ndisebenzise ipenisi yam ngaphezu konyaka kwaye ndandingazi ukuba yintoni ephosakeleyo ngam. Khange ndilale ngobo busuku nasemva kweempawu zokuhamba, ndafumanisa malunga nePIED eyoyikisayo kunye neNoFap subreddit. UKUQHUBA UKUFUMANEKA, kwafuneka ndibuyisele ingqondo yam njengokuba i-junk yam iphendule kuphela kwi-porn.
Le yayiyinkuthazo yam yokuyeka kwaye andikhange ndijonge ngasemva. Yaqala njengokuba nam ndifuna ukwahlukana nomlutha wam ukuze ube nolwalamano olusempilweni nentombazana yam; ivele kum ngoku ikhula njengomntu.
Ndinamandla kakhulu kwezi ntsuku, ndizilolonga rhoqo, ndiyakwazi ukulala ngaphandle kokurabha ngaphandle. Iimpawu ze-PIED nazo zihambile, andisayifuni iphonografi ukuze ndibe nzima, iipeki ezivela ngasekunene zanele ukuba ndihambe. Imithi yasekuseni ibuyile kwaye ndinephupha elimanzi malunga nomhla wosuku lwe-44/45, i-AF ephawulekayo.
Iminqweno yiza ngamanye amaxesha njengoko kukho izinto eziqala kuyo yonke indawo, nangona kunjalo, ukuya kwiintsuku ze-90 kwenziwe imimangaliso kumandlakuthi. Ndiyakwazi ukukhulula ngokukhawuleza xa ndibona umxholo ovuselela kwaye ngoku ndinqwenela kuphela unxibelelwano lokwabelana ngesondo kunye nabasetyhini bokwenyani.
Ndicime yonke i-4 yam + yeTB yamanyala amanyala kwaye ngoku ndingabambisa.
Oko bendikhe ndabelana ngale nto nentombazana yam kwaye iye yandinceda kakhulu.
Amandla amakhulu nonke enithetha ngawo ngabazalwana bokwenene, ithiyori yam kukuba ziimpawu esilahlekelwe zi-PMO. Andizimiselanga kuphulukana nabo kwakhona. I-flatline iyinyani kwaye kunye neempawu zokurhoxa zivela esihogweni.
Ndiyanibulela nonke ngezithuba zenu kunye nenkuthazo, nceda ukhululeke ukubuza imibuzo ngohambo lwam.
Hlalani niqinile nonke!
Vula nje i28.
LINK - Iintsuku ezingama-90 zicocekile - ibali "elifutshane"
By ManSK007
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