Njengoko isihloko sam sithetha, emva kwemizamo emininzi kunye nokusilela okusukela ngo-2017 nasekuqaleni kuka-2018, ndiyenzile. Ndihambile iintsuku ze-90 ngaphandle kwe-PMO.
Kwiintsuku ezingama-90 ezidlulileyo, ndifumene konke; Ukuphakama kwempumelelo kunye nendlela oziva ngayo phantse ayinakutshabalala, kwaye ihlabathi yimbatyisi yakho. Ukuya kumazantsi okuphelelwa lithemba apho uziva ngathi lisuntswana elingento yanto apho ungakwazi nokuzijonga esipilini, nayo yonke into ephakathi.
Inye into endinokuyithetha kukuba nokuba yeyiphi na i-nofap superpowers, eyona nto itshintshe kakhulu kukuba ngoku ndinokuzixabisa kunye nokuzithemba okunempilo. I-porn yayingumqobo omkhulu ebomini bam kwaye yatshabalalisa ukuzithemba kwam kunye nokuzithemba kwam kwiminyaka eyi-5 eyadlulayo xa ndandisesikolweni samabanga aphakamileyo kwibanga lesi-9. Unokuthi eli yayilixesha apho ndandifuna ukuzithemba kwam kakhulu. Ngaphambi kokuba likhoboka lephonografi ndandiyindoda ehlakaniphile, enomdla kunye nehlekisayo eyayinabahlobo abaninzi kunye nomona omkhulu.
Nje ukuba ndibe likhoboka lezinto kuxa izinto zaqala ukutshintsha kwaye ingqibelelo yam yayityiwa kancinci, phakathi kokutshintsha kwehomoni. Ngaphezu koko bendizibona ndizama ukhula. Iresiphi yentlekele lol.
Into ehlekisayo kukuba ndikhumbula okokuqala ndithandabuza ngokunyanisekileyo. Kwakungexesha lekhefu esikolweni xa kwakungekho namnye kubahlobo bam owayefuna ukuphola nam. Lo mzuzu wawuya kunamathela kum kwaye usuke waba mandundu ngakumbi kwaye ngaphambi kokuba ndiyazi, ndandidandathekile.
Amanqaku esikolo sam ehlisiwe kwaye umthamo wokuthathwa kweziyobisi unyukile, oko kubangele ukuhla okuya kuqhubeka phantse iminyaka emi-3. IBanga le-10 kunye ne-11 kum (oneminyaka eyi-16 kunye ne-17yo) ngokunyaniseka yayiyeyona minyaka imbi ebomini bam.
Unyaka ka-2016 ibingunyaka wotshintsho. Ngeli xesha umzala wam wasweleka ngenxa yeziyobisi. Ndaziva ngathi ndilahliwe, ndililolo, andizange ndaziva ngathi ndingene kwasebuntwaneni kodwa ukudandatheka kwam kuyigxininise le nto. Nangona kunjalo ndadibana nomcebisi wam wokuqala kunye nomhlobo osenyongweni ngaloo nyaka. Wayemdala kunam ngeminyaka eyi-7 kwaye wabona into kum, kwaye yayingeyonyani indlela andinika ngayo uthando nenkxaso. Wandinika ulwalathiso waza wabutshintsha ngokwenene ubomi bam. Kwikota yokugqibela ka-2016 ndagqiba ekubeni ndiwuthathele phezulu umsebenzi wam wesikolo. Ndipase kakuhle ndade ndangena eDyunivesiti ndafunda le nto bendifuna ukuyifunda.
Noko ke, iphonografi ayizange iphele, yaye isithukuthezi sam sakhula eyunivesithi kangangexesha elithile. Ngapha koko ndanditshaya icuba, nto leyo eyandisa iintloni endandinazo.
Oku kuxa ndafumanisa i-nofap kwaye apho ndazama ukuyeka amaxesha amaninzi ukuba ndingabikho, ngo-2017.
Ndingaqhubeka ngonaphakade, kwaye u-2017 naye wayexakekile ngokwawo kodwa ndifuna ukuqukumbela. Ukusukela ngo-Epreli kulo nyaka ndaye ndathatha isigqibo sokuthatha i-nofap nzulu kuba andinakuze ndihlale nzima nokuba yeyiphi intombazana endilala nayo. Ekugqibeleni ndize okokuqala nentombi yam yangoku nge-76.
Ndifuna nje ukuthi i-nofap ibuyise umntu owonwabileyo endandibuyile ngelo xesha. Ndisalungisa iziphene zam kodwa ndiye ndaphucuka ngokuphindwe kalishumi. Ngoku ndiyazihlonipha, kwaye ndiye ndaqonda ukuba abantu baya kukujonga ngendlela ozijonga ngayo.
Yonke imihla ibingumceli mngeni kum kwaye ndicinga ukuba sisitshixo se-nofap (kunye nobomi); Ukuyithatha NGOSUKU OLUNYE NGEXESHA. Ndingathanda ukukhangela ngokunyanisekileyo "usuku lwe-nofap 37" okanye 'usuku lwe-nofap 62' kuGoogle kwaye ndingaphefumlelwa kwaye ndikhuthazeke okanye ndibe novelwano kumabali aba bantu babelane ngawo. Yonke imihla abantu abafana nam nawe. Ndaqhubeka nalo mkhwa kude kube yimini ye-90 kwaye ndahlala ndihamba kuyo.
Apha endleleni ndalila ndedwa okokuqala. Kulapho ndaye ndabona ukuba kubaluleke kangakanani ukuzithanda kwaye UNGASOZE ubenoxolo xa ungazithandi. I was under the mindset that “ once I achieve this and this THEN I will love myself..” Hayi. Its the other way around.
Kwaye ngaloo nto ndigqibezela iSincoko sam. Oku kuya kuba sesinye sezithuba zokugqibela endizenzayo kule forum. Ndinobomi obupheleleyo endimele ndibuphile kunye nezinye izinto zokufikelela kwinqanaba. Nawe uyayenza. Fumana le nto phantsi kolawulo, ngelixa kwangaxeshanye usenza le nto ufuna ukuyenza. Uphila kanye kuphela kwaye kufuneka uqhubeke uzama. Oku kuya kuba yeyona nto ibalulekileyo yam 2018; UNYAKA ENDIGQIBELELE NDIWUYEKELA I-PORN KULUNGILE.
Enkosi kwi-nofap kunye nale forum. Ubugcinile, watshintsha, kwaye wenza ubomi bam bonke ngaxeshanye. Kuye kwaqhuma.
LINK - Iphunyeziwe iMishini Sana!!
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