(L) Uyi-Self-Control, ngo-Maria Konnikova, NY Times (2013)

WENZA ntoni ukuba, xa ufika kwiqonga lendlela engaphantsi komhlaba, ubona ukuba sele izele ngabantu? Ngaba ujoyina isihlwele ukulinda uloliwe, okanye unikina intloko kwaye ufune enye indlela yokufika apho uya khona?

Ukuba uhamba ngendlela yokuqala, mhlawumbi ucinga ukuba isihlwele sithetha ukuba bekungekho loliwe kangangexesha elithile kwaye lowo usemnyango. Ukuba ukhetha okwesibini, ufikelele kwisigqibo esichaseneyo: Kugcwele, uloliwe akakafiki ixeshana, ngoko ke kusenokwenzeka ukuba kukho uhlobo lwengxaki - kwaye ngubani owaziyo ukuba uyakuphela ixesha elingakanani ulindile. Kungcono unciphise ilahleko zakho kwaye uhlukane.

Xa sicinga ngokuzibamba, asiqhelekanga ukukubona ngokwale migaqo-isigqibo esinengqiqo sokulinda okanye ukungalindi. Ngapha koko, ukukwazi ukulibazisa ulwaneliseko ngokwesiko kuye kwabonwa kwinxalenye enkulu njengomba wokuzimisela: Ngaba unayo into efunekayo ukuyilinda, ukukhetha ixesha elizayo-kwaye, ngokuqinisekileyo, lingcono-umvuzo ngoko nangoko, nangona kungenjalo. ilungile nje? Ngaba unokuncama i-brownie kwinkonzo yomvuzo omkhulu wokuphulukana nobunzima, uncame imali esele ilungile ukuze ufumane imbuyekezo yotyalo-mali kamva? Ukhetho olukhawulezileyo lushushu; ungayingcamla, uyinukise, uyive. Ukhetho lwexesha elide lupholile kakhulu; Kunzima ukuba umfanekiso wayo ngombala okanye amandla amaninzi.

Ngokwemigaqo yengqondo, umahluko ubonwa ngokuqhelekileyo njengenkqubo yokurhweba kabini: Kwelinye icala, unenkqubo yokubonisana, ebonakalisayo, epholileyo; kwelinye, i-intuitive, i-reflexive, inkqubo eshushu. Okukhona unokuzeyisa kancinci, kokukhona lisiya liphola ngakumbi ikamva kwaye kokukhona sikhula ngokukhona sitshisa. Brownie? Yum.

Kodwa kuthekani ukuba inyaniso yahluke kancinane? Kuthekani ukuba ukukwazi ukulibazisa ulwaneliseko ngokwenene kufana nomkhweli ojongene neqonga likaloliwe elixineneyo kunokuba njenge-dieter ejongene nesidlo esandula kubhakwa? Ukusilela ukuzeyisa, kucebisa isazinzulu ngemithambo-luvo kwiYunivesithi yasePennsylvania uJoseph W. Kable noJoseph T. McGuire, kusenokungabi sisilele kakhulu njengempendulo esengqiqweni yokungaqiniseki kwexesha: Ukuba asiqinisekanga ncam xa uloliwe. uya kufika apho, kutheni utyala ixesha elixabisekileyo lokuqhubeka nokulinda?

UMnu. Kable, obesebenza kwi-psychology kunye ne-neuroscience yokwenza izigqibo ngaphezu kweminyaka elishumi, uthi inyaniso kukuba ebomini bokwenyani, ngokuchasene nelebhu, asiqinisekanga ngokuqinisekileyo ukuba siya kufumana umvuzo othenjisiweyo, okanye ukuba siyakwenza, ukuba uya kufika nini na.

"Ixesha leziganeko zehlabathi lokwenene alisoloko liqikelelwa," yena kunye noMnu McGuire babhala. "Abenzi bezigqibo bahlala belinda iibhasi, ukunikezelwa kwemisebenzi, ukunciphisa umzimba kunye nezinye iziphumo eziphawulwa kukungaqiniseki okwethutyana." Ngamanye amaxesha yonke into ifika kanye xa siyilindele, kodwa ngamanye amaxesha ibhasi ehlala ngexesha iyaphuka okanye isithembiso somsebenzi siphelile.

Xa sizibekela usukelo lokuzeyisa, sidla ngokuba namaxesha angqalileyo: Ndiza kuncipha ngekhilogram ngeveki; kwinyanga ukusuka ngoku, andisayi kuphinda ndibanqwenelele elacuba; ibhasi okanye uloliwe uya kuza kwimizuzu eli-10 (kwaye ndizimisele ukuthabatha izithuthi zikawonke-wonke njengenxalenye yokunciphisa indawo yam yekhabhoni, enkosi kakhulu).

Kodwa kuthekani ukuba uqikelelo lwethu lokuqala lucimile? Ixesha elingakumbi lidlula ngaphandle komvuzo olindelekileyo - sekudlule imizuzu engama-20 kwaye akukho nto; Ndiye ndatya iveki enesiqingatha ngoku kwaye ndisenobunzima obufanayo - kokukhona isiphelo sisiya singaqinisekanga. Ngaba ndiya kuze ndiwufumane umvuzo wam? Ngaba ulahlekelwe isisindo? Ukhe ukhwele obo loliwe bubudenge?

Kule meko, ukunikezela kunokuba yinto yendalo - ngokwenene, ingqiqo - impendulo kwixesha elingazange lifakwe ngokufanelekileyo ukuqala, ngokutsho kwezifundo ezitsha eziqhutywe nguMnu. Pennsylvania kwaye yapapashwa kuyo Cognition kwaye Ukuphononongwa kwengqondo.

“Kukho iimeko ezininzi, mhlawumbi uninzi lweemeko, kwihlabathi lokwenyani,” utshilo uMnu.

UMnu. Kable kunye noMnu. McGuire bavavanya le ngqiqo kwiqela labathengi kwindawo yentengiso eNew Jersey. Njengoko abantu babesenza imisebenzi yabo yesiqhelo, abanye babo bacelwa ukuba bathathe inxaxheba kuphononongo lwemizuzu eli-10 apho babenokwenza phakathi kwe-$5 ne-10 yeedola. Abathathi-nxaxheba bophononongo banokubona ukukhanya okutyheli kuvela kwiscreen sekhompyuter kwaye banokukhetha ukwenza enye yezinto ezimbini: Gcina ikhesa yempuku phezu kwebhokisi ebhalwe “linda iisenti ezili-15” okanye uhambise ikhesa kwibhokisi yesibini ephawulwe “thatha isenti enye. ” Into ababengayazi kukuba kwakuza kufuneka balinde ixesha elingakanani ukuba bakhethe ukwenza isithembiso semali eyongezelelekileyo. Kwezinye iimeko, imbuyekezo emikhulu yayinikwa ngamaxesha aqhelekileyo. Kwabanye, nangona kunjalo, ixesha belingaqiniseki ngakumbi: okukhona ulindile, kokukhona likhulu ithuba lokuhlala ulindile.

Abaphandi bafumanise ukuba ngelixa abathengi bebona amaxesha aqhelekileyo ajongeka njengeyona modeli yokuzingisa kunye nokuzeyisa, abo babona amaxesha aguqukayo baye bancipha kancinci ngokuhamba kwexesha-nokuba bebenomonde. Ukungaqiniseki kwexesha lomvuzo kwakuko okwaneleyo ukubatyhalela kwindlela yokuziphatha ekhangeleka ngathi iyangxama.

Baye babhenela rhoqo ekutsibeni izilingo ngokupheleleyo. Ngoko nangoko bakhetha ukufumana isenti, endaweni yokulinda kancinane ukuze babone ukuba intlawulo enkulu ikufuphi kusini na. Abazange baphelelwe ngumonde, uMnu. McGuire kunye noMnu. Kable baqukumbela ngelithi. Babesabela ngokufanelekileyo ekungacingeni kwangaphambili kwekamva.

Indawo esihlala kuyo iyasiqeqesha malunga nexabiso lokuzingisa. Ngamanye amaxesha, kunengqiqo ukulinda. Ngamanye amaxesha, intetho yentaka ephathwayo iqalisa ukuba sengqiqweni.

“Xa usongeza ukungaqiniseki kwixesha elizayo kumxube,” utshilo uMnu. Kable, “itshintsha ngokupheleleyo ingxaki. Ngoku ayisikuko nje ukukwazi ukulinda. Ngokungaqiniseki, uyaqonda ukuba intuition enzulu yomntu wonke, yokuba xa ulindile, uyasondela, ucimile.” Ikamva lisenokutshintsha kuwe, ngoko ulindele ntoni?

Enyanisweni, yiloo nto kanye eyafunyanwa nguMnu. McGuire kunye noMnu. Kable yenzeka kwindawo yaselabhoratri: Awucingi ukuba uyasondela njengoko ulinda ixesha elide. Ngokuchasene noko. Kuphononongo olupapashwe ekuqaleni kwalo nyaka, baqala ngokucela abathathi-nxaxheba ukuba baqikelele ixesha elingakanani ukuba balinde umvuzo wexesha elizayo onqwenelekayo - i-cookie ye-chocolate ye-chips okanye i-candy bar, kuxhomekeke kukhetho lwabo. Ngokuphindaphindiweyo, bafumana into efanayo: Ixesha elide lokulinda - naphi na ukusuka kwimizuzu emi-2 ukuya kwi-130 - ixesha elide becinga ukuba kufuneka baqhubeke belindile.

“Umbono osisiseko,” utshilo uMnu. McGuire, “yeyokuba ngelixa umenzi wesigqibo elindile, uhlala ephinda eyivavanya into ayilindileyo. Ulindele umvuzo ofanayo, kodwa indlela owujonga ngayo uyatshintsha njengomsebenzi wokuhamba kwexesha.”

Kuvavanyo lwesibini, abaphandi be-Penn bajonge ukuba loo mbono yexesha litshintshile xa ujongene nokuziphatha kwansuku zonke: ukunciphisa umzimba, ukuphucula ixesha lakho uqhuba imayile, ukuphucula amanqaku akho kuvavanyo olusemgangathweni okanye ukuphucula izakhono zakho zepiyano. Kwakhona, bafumanisa ukuba okukhona ixesha lihamba bengafikelelanga koko bekujoliswe kuko, kokukhona ixesha elingakumbi labantu ababecinga lalisala de bafike apho.

Loo mpendulo ichasene ngqo nesigqibo esisengqiqweni. Ingqiqo enzima-okanye ubuncinci, intuition enengqiqo-inokucebisa ukuba ixesha elininzi utyala imali kwinto ethile, usondele ekuyifezekiseni. Ukuba ndiqhelisela ipiyano, ndiya kuphucula. Ukuba ndibaleka yonke imihla, ixesha lam liya kukhawuleza. Kodwa ngandlel’ ithile, xa siphakathi kuyo yonke loo nto, iingqondo zethu aziyiboni ngaloo ndlela. Okukhona ixesha lihamba, kokukhona abathathi-nxaxheba bophando beziva befumana ibhaso.

Nje ukuba siqonde indlela esisebenza ngayo ixesha kunye nokuba ezinye izinto ziya kuthatha ixesha elingakanani, ezinye iimvavanyo ezidumileyo ziqala ukubonakala ngokwahlukileyo. Qwalasela mhlawumbi ngowona mzekelo waziwa kakhulu wokuzeyisa: Umsebenzi kaWalter Mischel ocatshulwe ngokungenasiphelo ukususela ngeminyaka yoo-1960, owawulinganisa ukuba abantwana abaneminyaka emi-4 banokulinda ixesha elingakanani na ukunyangwa ngaphambi kokuba babambe imarshmallow eyayiphambi kwabo. uphononongo oluyi-sine qua non yayo nayiphi na ingxoxo, yezemfundo okanye edumileyo, yolwaneliseko olulibazisekileyo.

Ngaba kusenokwenzeka ukuba umntwana oyekile ukulinda wayemane elibala ixesha awayeza kulichitha enganyangwa? Ukuba wayenikwe uqikelelo olubambekayo ngakumbi - kuphononongo lokuqala, abantwana abazange baxelelwe ngokuthe ngqo ukuba babeza kulinda ixesha elingakanani na — wayekwazile ukuyeka? Loo ngqiqo iya kuba nengqiqo - kwaye ngokwenene yintoni eyaphefumlela uMnu McGuire kunye noMnu Kable ukuba baqale uphando lwabo.

UMnu. Kable usebenza kwisebe elifanayo nengcali yengqondo u-Angela Duckworth, oye wenza uphando lokuzibamba ngokwakhe. Ngexesha lesidlo sasemini, uMnumzana Kable wandixelela, wachaza ukuba kwi-marshmallow paradigm, awuyazi ukuba umfunisi ubuya nini. “Awazi ukuba uyifumana nini imarshmallow yesibini,” watsho uKable. "Ewe, ngoku unemeko eyahlukileyo ngokupheleleyo" - enye apho ukungaqiniseki okwethutyana kungena emfanekisweni.

Ngapha koko, loo ngqiqo isekelwe kwixesha yacetyiswa nguMnu. Mischel ngokwakhe kwangethuba, xa waphawula ukuba ukukwazi ukulinda kwakungabotshelelwanga kubude bokulinda ngolo hlobo, kodwa “kukuchaneka kweengcinga zexesha,” njengoko yena. ndiza kuthi kamva Yibeke.

Ukuqiqa okufanayo kukhokelele uCeleste Kidd, isazi ngengqondo esisebenza ngengqondo kwiDyunivesithi yaseRochester, ukuba abuze ukuba akunatyala na ukungaqiniseki. UNksz Kidd udale iindidi ezimbini zeendawo: enye apho umphandi othembekileyo wanika abantwana umvuzo othenjisiweyo - iseti yezixhobo zobugcisa endaweni yeekhrayoni ezisetyenzisiweyo - kwaye enye apho umphandi ebonakalise ukuba akathembekanga - uya kubuya aze axolise ngokungabi nayo. umvuzo ongcono wayethembisile.

Abantwana ke baye bathatha inxaxheba kwisifundo semarshmallow, apho babenokulinda iimarshmallows ezimbini okanye batye enye ngoku. Ukuthembeka kwangaphambili komlingi kwakuqinisekileyo: abo bakwimeko engathembekanga balinde umyinge wemizuzu emithathu, ngelixa abo baye basebenzisana nomphandi othembekileyo balinde i-12. .

Ngokuqinisekileyo, akukho nanye kwezi zinto zithetha ukuba ukuzithiba okwenyani kuyeka ukubaluleka - ngakumbi kwiimeko ezibizwa ngokuba zishushu, apho eyona nto ihendayo kuwe buqu yinto esengozini. Mna, umzekelo, ndingalunga kwiparadigm endala yemarshmallow. Andizange ndizihoye kakhulu izinto ezimhlophe. Kodwa beka i-cookie ye-oatmeal raisin esandula kubhakwa kwi-bakery yam endiyithandayo (i-Levain, yerekhodi) phambi kwam, kwaye akukho sithembiso singabonakaliyo sexesha elizayo esinokuthi senze umahluko.

Ngelixa siqala ukuqonda ubudlelwane obusisiseko phakathi kokungaqiniseki kwexesha kunye nokukwazi ukulibazisa, kuya kuba sengqiqweni ukuba ndingakufumana kulula ukuxhathisa icookie ukuba ndinombono wefuthe elichanekileyo elinokuba nalo kubunzima bam - kwaye nini , kanye, loo mphumo wawuya kubakho. UMnu. Kable wathi: “Inxalenye yeengxabano zethu kukuba kukho ukufana okusisiseko phakathi kweengxaki eziqatha, ukutshaya kunye nengxaki yokutya, kunye neengxaki ezibonakala zingahambelani, njengokulinda ibhasi okanye ukulinda uloliwe ohamba ngaphantsi komhlaba. Kuzo zombini ezi meko, kufuneka sifumane indlela yokusombulula ukungaqiniseki kwexesha.” Enyanisweni kunokuba nzima ukwenza izizathu - i-cookie enye ayizukwenza mahluko - ekukhanyeni kobungqina obunzima, obusekwe ixesha lokuba kungekudala iza kwenza.

Kuthetha ukuthini oku, xa sithetha nje? “Ndichithe iminyaka eyi-10 yobomi bam ndiyeka ukutshaya,” utshilo uMnu. “Ndichithe iminyaka eli-10 elandelayo ndizama ukutya ukutya. Lo msebenzi ubangel’ umdla kum.” Yaye ngaba ucinga ukuba iya kumsondeza kwiinjongo zakhe? “Ndinethemba lokuba iya kuba luncedo,” waphendula ngelitshoyo. Ndiya kuvuma ngokupheleleyo ukuba isicombululo kwiingxaki ezinzima zokuzeyisa sinzima ngakumbi, kodwa ndinethemba.”

Kwabo bethu balwa nosukelo esibonakala singenako ukulufikelela, ulwazi lokuba indlela esilijonga ngayo ixesha—kwaye ingeyiyo intsilelo ethile esizalwa nayo—iyinxalenye yokubekek’ ityala kunokusenza siphumelele ngakumbi kwixesha elizayo. Endaweni yokuba sizibethe ngenxa yokungaphumeleli kokuzimisela, endaweni yoko sinokugxila ekufundeni ukulungelelanisa ngcono ixesha esililindeleyo ukusuka ekuqaleni, ukumisela iinjongo zexesha ezinokwenyani, ezicwangciswe ngokufanelekileyo ezibamba ubunyani bomsebenzi esizibekele wona.

Olo hlengahlengiso lulula lunokuba neziphumo zokwenyani kwindlela yokuziphatha. Xa iWashington, DC, kunye neSixeko saseNew York zazisa imiqondiso kwiiplatifti zabo zikaloliwe ezibonisa ukuba kufuneka ulinde ixesha elingakanani kuloliwe olandelayo, uMnu. Kable wabonisa, ukungaqiniseki kwesigqibo kwanyamalala. “Akuseyomfuneko ukuba uthathe isigqibo sokuba unalo na ixesha lokulinda okanye uza kufika emva kwexesha kwintlanganiso yakho kwaye kufuneka ubambe iteksi,” utshilo. "Xa unoluhlobo lwe-cue, xa unokusombulula ukungaqiniseki, xa ingumbandela wolwazi olusulungekileyo, isigqibo siba lula kakhulu."

Kwaye kuthekani ngeemeko apho olo hlobo lwe-cue lunzima ngakumbi? “Ndinethemba lokuba umgaqo ofanayo uya kubaluleka,” watsho. Ukuba uqonda kakuhle ukuba kuya kuthatha ixesha elingakanani ukuba ulahlekelwe isisindo kwaye udibanise ukungaqiniseki kwingcinga yakho - ukuba uyaqaphela ukuba inokuba yinyanga ezimbini ukuya kwezine kunokuba imeko yeeveki ezimbini okanye i-bust. ube nako ukuchasa laa brownie ngalomzuzu. Ayizukuba lula njengokubona ixesha lokulinda likaloliwe lifika ezantsi phambi kwakho, kodwa kuya kuba ngcono kunokuba kungabikho phawu eqongeni konke konke. Ubuncinci uya kuqonda ukuba ukulinda ixesha elide akusoloko kuthetha ukulinda ngonaphakade. Ukutyala imali kwangaphambili kumaxesha okwenyani - kunye nokufunda ukulungelelanisa loo maxesha njengoko ulwazi olutsha lufumaneka - kunokusinceda sixhathise ukutsalwa kwemivuzo ezayo kwakamsinya. Ukulawula ingqiqo yethu ngekamva, ngamanye amazwi, kunokusinceda silawule indlela esiziphatha ngayo ngoku.