Ngoku ndifunda incwadi malunga neNice Guy Symdrome. Umbhali udwelisa uninzi lweempawu ze "Guys entle" endifuna ukwabelana nawe ngayo. Bendihlala "ndilungile Guy" ngaphambi komceli mngeni wam weNoFap-ndiyatshintsha ngoku. Ndicinga ukuba nina niyakuzibonakalisa kunye nezo mpawu. Enye inkcukacha umbhali angayazi: "Umhle uGuy Syndrom" UQHELEKILE ngokuhambelana nokufota. Ndiyabulela uThixo kunye neNoFap ngokundisindisa kule shit. Nako sisiya:
Abafana abaNtshontsho banika. Abafana abaNtsapho badla ngokuphindaphindiweyo ukuba kubenza bazive bekulungele ukunika abanye. La madoda akholelwa ukuba ububele babo bubonakaliso bokuba bahle kangakanani kwaye baya kwenza abanye abantu bathande baze bawaxabise.
Abafana abalungileyo balungisa kwaye banakekele. Ukuba umntu unenkinga, unesidingo, unomsindo, ucinezelekile okanye udangele, abafana abaNtsapho baya kuzama ukulungisa okanye ukulungisa imeko (ngokuqhelekileyo ngaphandle kokucelwa).
Abafana abahle bafuna imvume kwabanye. Uphawu lweNice Guy Syndrome kwindalo iphela kukufuna ukuqinisekiswa kwabanye. Yonke into ayenzayo okanye ayithethayo u-Nice Guy kwinqanaba elithile ibaliwe ukufumana ukuvunywa komntu okanye ukunqanda ukungamkelwa. Oku kuyinyani ngakumbi kubudlelwane babo nabasetyhini.
Abafana abaNtshontsho banqanda ingxabano. Abafana abahle bafuna ukugcina umhlaba wabo uphelele. Ukuze benze oku, baphephe ukwenza izinto ezinokugubungela isikebhe okanye ukucasula nabani na.
Abafana abahle bakholelwa ukuba kufuneka bafihle iimpazamo zabo neempazamo zabo. La madoda ayesaba ukuba abanye baya kubaphatha kakubi, bahlazeke, okanye bawashiye ukuba kukho iphutha okanye ukungaphumeleli.
Abafana abahle bafuna indlela "elungileyo" yokwenza izinto. Abafana abaNyanisekileyo bakholelwa ukuba kukho isitshixo sokufumana ubomi obonwabileyo, obungenayo ingxaki. Baqinisekile ukuba ukuba banokukwazi ukubona indlela efanelekileyo yokwenza konke, akukho nto ifanele ihambe.
Abafana abalungileyo banciphisa iimvakalelo zabo. Abafana abahle bathambekele ekuhlalutheni kunokuba bazive. Basenokubona iimvakalelo njengenkunkuma kunye nexesha. Bazama ukuzama ukugcina iimvakalelo zabo kwi-keel.
Abafana abahle bazama ukuhluke kooyise. Abaninzi baseGuys baxela ukuba bengabikho, bengabikho, bengabonakali, bathukuthele, baxhamle, okanye baoyise. Akuqhelekanga ukuba la madoda enze isigqibo ngexesha elithile ebomini babo ukuze azame ukuba ngama-180 degrees ahlukeneyo noTata.
Abafana abahle bahlala bekhululekile ngokumalunga nabafazi kunamadoda. Ngenxa yemeko yabo yobuntwana, uninzi lweeNice Guys zinezihlobo ezimbalwa zamadoda. Abafana abahle bahlala befuna ukuvunywa kwabasetyhini kwaye beqinisekile ukuba bahlukile kwamanye amadoda. Bayathanda ukukholelwa ekubeni abazingcayo, banomsindo, okanye baxhaphaze- ziimpawu abazidibanisa "namanye" amadoda.
Abafana abaNyanisekileyo banenkinga yokukwenza iimfuno zabo zibe ziphambili. La madoda ahlala evakalelwa kukuba kukuzingca ukubeka iimfuno zawo kuqala. Bakholelwa ukuba kuyinto elungileyo ukubeka iimfuno zabanye ngaphambi kwezabo.
Abafana abaNandi bahlala bekwenza iqabane labo libe liziko leemvakalelo. Abaninzi baseGuys baxela ukuba bayavuya xa iqabane livuyayo. Ngenxa yoko baya kugxininisa amandla amakhulu kwiimeko zabo zobudlelwane obusondeleyo.
Yintoni ephosakeleyo ngokuba yi-Guy elungileyo?
Singazama ukunciphisa ingxaki yeN Nice Guy Syndrome. Emva koko, njani ukuthabatha into enjalo? Singahle sitshitshise kwiMarvin Milquetoast iziphathamandla zala madoda njengoko ziboniswe kumacwecwe emihla ngemihla kunye nama-sitcoms. Ekubeni amadoda sele esele emele ithagethi elula kwinkcubeko yethu, i-caricature ye-guy ethandekayo inokuba yinto yokuzonwabisa kunokukhathazeka.
I-Guys entle ngokwabo ihlala inexesha elinzima lokuqonda ubunzulu kunye nobuzaza beenkolelo kunye nokuziphatha kwabo. Xa ndiqala ukusebenza nala madoda ayolisayo, phantse ngaphandle kokukhetha, bonke bayabuza, "Yintoni ephosakeleyo ngokuba yiNice Guy?" Emva kokuthatha le ncwadi kwaye udidekile ngaphezulu kwesihloko, usenokuzibuza kwinto enye.
Ngokunika la madoda ileyibhile enguNice Guy, andibhekiseli kwindlela abaziphethe ngayo, kodwa kwinkqubo yabo yenkolelo malunga nabo kunye nehlabathi elibajikelezileyo. La madoda anikwe imeko yokukholelwa ukuba ukuba "balungile," baya kuthandwa, bazifezekise iimfuno zabo, kwaye baphile kamnandi.
Igama elithi Nice Guy empeleni liyingozi ngenxa yokuba abafana abaNtsapho badla ngokulungileyo. Nazi ezinye ii-Not-So-Nice Impawu zeeGay Nice:
Abafana abaNyanisekileyo bangathembekanga. Aba bantu bafihla iimpazamo zabo, baphephe ukungquzulana, bathethe oko bacinga ukuba abantu bafuna ukuva, baze baphawule iimvakalelo zabo. Ezi mpawu zenza abaNtshontsho abaNgcono abayinyaniseki. Abafana abahle bafihlakeleyo. Ngenxa yokuba beqhutywa kukufuna ukuvunywa, iiNice Guys ziya kufihla nantoni na abakholelwa ukuba inokucaphukisa nabani na. Isiqubulo sikaNice Guy sithi, “ukuba ekuqaleni awuphumeleli, fihla ubungqina.”
Abafana abaNtshontsho bahlala ngaphandle. Abafana abahle bayakwazi ukuvumelanisa iinkcukacha eziphikisanayo ngokwazo ngokuzihlukanisa kumacandelo athile kwiingqondo zabo. Ngoko ke, umntu otshatileyo unokudala yakhe intsingiselo yokunyaniseka okumvumela ukuba aphikise ukuba unobungozi nonobhala wakhe (okanye umqeqeshi) ngenxa yokuba akazange abeke ipeni lakhe kwisini sakhe.
Abafana abaNtshonkco baxhamla. Abafana abaNtshonkotha bathambekele kunzima ukukwenza iimfuno zabo zibe yimphambili kwaye banenkinga yokucela oko bafuna ngeendlela ezicacileyo nezichanekileyo. Oku kudala ingqiqo. Ngoko ke, bahlala bezama ukunyanzelisa xa bezama ukufumana iimfuno zabo.
Abafana abahle balawula. Eyona nto ephambili kwiGermany Guys igcina ihlabathi lihamba phambili. Oku kudala isidingo sokuzama ukulawula abantu kunye nezinto ezizungezile.
Abafana abahle bazinikezela . Nangona abaNtshontsho abaNtshonkotha banomdla wokupha, ukunikela kwabo kaninzi kunamaqhinga okungazi kakuhle kunye nokungafihli. Bafuna ukuxabiswa, bafuna uhlobo oluthile lokuphindaphinda, bafuna umntu ukuba ayeke ukuthukuthela, njl. Abafana abahle bavakalisa ukuziva bexhalabile okanye benomsindo ngenxa yokunikela ixesha elininzi ngelixa bebonakala beba ncinane kakhulu.
Abafana abaNtshontsho abaxhasi. Abafana abahle bavame ukuvakalisa ukukhungatheka kunye nentukuthelo ngendlela engqalileyo, ngeenxa zonke, kunye neendlela ezintle. Oku kuquka ukungafumaneki, ukulibaleka, ukukhawuleza, ukulandela, ukungakwazi ukufumana ukulungiswa, ukukhawuleza ngokukhawuleza, nokuphinda ukuziphatha okukrakra okufanayo nangona bathembisa ukuba abayi kuphinda benze kwakhona.
Abafana abaNhle bazele ubushushu. Nangona i-Nice Guys ayisoloko ekhanyela, ukuhlala ecatshukiswa kunye nentukuthelo kudala umpheki wokunyanzeliswa kobuhlungu obushushu obukhulu ngaphakathi kwala madoda. Olu bushushu ludla ngokukhawuleza kwezinye zezihlandlo ezingalindelekanga nezibonakala zingalunganga.
Abafana abaNtshontsho banomlutha. Ukuziphatha komlingo kusebenza ngenjongo yokunciphisa uxinzelelo, ukuguqula imiqondo, okanye intlungu yezobisi. Ekubeni abafana baseNice bavame ukugcina ibhotile ngaphakathi ngaphakathi, kufuneka kuvele kwindawo ethile. Enye yeendlela eziqhelekileyo zokulutha izilwanyana ze-Nice guys kukunyanzelisa isondo.
Abafana abaNtshontsho banzima ukubeka imida. Uninzi lweeNice Guys kunzima ukuba zithi "hayi," "yima", okanye "ndiya." Bahlala beziva bengamaxhoba angenakuzenzela nto kwaye babone omnye umntu njengonobangela weengxaki abahlangabezana nazo.
Abafana abahle bahlala bekhulile. Nangona i-Nice Guys inqwenela ukuthandwa nokuthandwa, ukuziphatha kwabo kwenza ukuba kunzima abantu ukuba basondelane nabo.
Abafana abaNandi badla ngokukhawulwa kubantu kunye neemeko ezifuna ukulungiswa. Oku kuziphatha kuhlala kusisiphumo sobume bobuntwana bukaNice Guy, isidingo sakhe sokubonakala silungile, okanye ukufuna kwakhe ukuvunywa. Ngelishwa, olu tyekelo luqinisekisa ukuba iiNice Guys ziya kuchitha ixesha elininzi zicima imililo kunye nokulawula iingxaki.
Abafana abahle bahlala benengxaki kwiimeko zobudlelwano obusondeleyo. Nangona i-Nice Guys ihlala ibeka ugxininiso olukhulu kule nxalenye yobomi babo, ubudlelwane babo obusondeleyo bahlala bengumthombo womzabalazo kunye nokudana. Umzekelo: I-Nice Guys zihlala zimamela kakubi kuba zixakeke kakhulu zizama indlela yokuzikhusela okanye yokulungisa ingxaki yomnye umntu. Ngenxa yokoyika ungquzulwano, bahlala benyanisekile kwaye kunqabile ukuba bafumane ithuba lokujongana nengxaki. l Akuqhelekanga ukuba iiNice Guys zenze ubudlelwane namaqabane abakholelwa ukuba "ziiprojekthi" okanye "iidayimani kwindawo enzima." Xa ezi projekthi zingapolishi njengoko kulindelwe, iiNice Guys zihlala zisolela amaqabane azo ngokuma endleleni yolonwabo lwawo.
Abafana abalungileyo banemiba yobundlobongela. Nangona uninzi lweeNice Guys ziphika ukuba zinengxaki ngezokwabelana ngesondo, andikabinakudibana nomntu ongonelisekanga bubomi bakhe bobulili, unokungasebenzi kakuhle ngokwesondo (awunakufumana okanye ugcine ulwakhiwo, uvuthondaba ngokukhawuleza), okanye wenze ngokwesondo (ngemicimbi, ubuhenyu, iphonografi, ukuphulula amalungu esini ngokunyanzela, njl.njl.).
Abafana abaNtsapho badla ngokuphumelela kuphela. Uninzi lweeNice Guys endidibene nazo zinetalente, zikrelekrele, kwaye ziphumelele ngokuphakathi. Phantse ngaphandle kokukhetha, nangona kunjalo, bayasilela ukuphila ngokugqibeleleyo. ”
Ndifuna nje ukwabelana ngcamango kunye nawe, ukhulule kwiiCandelo: Ndafundiswa ukuba MPHULUKWA. Uba nomama bandifundisa ukuba yi-PUTER. Bona kunye nentsapho yam besoloko bechasene nam, babehlala bezama ukundivumela. NDIQHELELE KONKE. Ndifunda eyunivesithi ebalaseleyo yelizwe lam. Ndifunde iincwadi ezininzi kwaye ndingumntu okhule kakhulu. Ndiqale ukuzilolonga kulo nyaka, ndikwimo yembaleki ngoku. Ndithetha iilwimi ezine. Ndoyisa uninzi lokoyika kwam. Ndazakhela ubuwena, ubuntu bam. Nangona kukho into eyayilahlekile: Yayikhula. Ndandinomlutha kwaye kwakusonakalisa ubomi bam. Kodwa ngoku ndiza koyisa obu bubi, sele ndikhona ngomhla we-77 kwaye andizukuphinda ndiphinde ndifake. Njengoko benditshilo NDIQHELELE KONKE Into endinokuyithetha yile: Ndiyindoda entsha ngoku kwaye sisiqalo nje.
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