Nei 30 jier PMO - haw ik foar it earst yn myn libben in ereksje hâlden yn 'e omgong

82 dagen is in frjemd nûmer om oer te posten, mar ik rekke hjoed in grutte mylpeal. Fluch eftergrûn. Ik bin skieden en wie troud mei myn earste freondinne (en earste seksuele partner). Dat duorre mear dan in desennium en ik skamje my ta te jaan dat PMO my hast gjin seksueel libben feroarsake.

De skieding wie net allinich troch PMO, mar ik kin jo fertelle dat in relaasje sûnder seksueel libben in minne relaasje is, perioade.

Nei't de skieding regele wie, gie ik troch in soad feroaringen, ynklusyf in soad gewicht te ferliezen, myn baan, auto, hâlding, alles te feroarjen. Mar ik feroare gjin PMO, hoewol in houliksoarch my krekt fertelde dat ik ferslave wie oan porno (ik seach gewoan de reden net om op te hâlden - ik hie gjin GF en it wie sa treastlik).

Fluch foarút in jier nei de skieding en ik moetsje in prachtich soarchsume famke en jo kinne it ferhaal al riede - ik koe it net krije. En krekt lykas tidens myn houlik begon ik te tinken hey, ik bin gewoan brutsen en dit famke sil moatte libje mei it feit dat ik in geweldige freon bin, Utsein de seks.

Se wie tige stipe en sei dat wy myn problemen 'trochwurkje' - en dat makke my echt nei te tinken oer wat myn probleem wie. En om't ik hast in jier lyn in foarbyld krige fan wat it probleem wie, begon ik der oer te lêzen, fûn dit forum, YBOP, en oare siden. En op in dei doe't ik op fakânsje wie en ynstee fan nei bûten te gean, soe ik pornografy op myn laptop sjen en mysels genietsje, rekke it my - dit wie it probleem. Ik moast ophâlde.

Dy dei wie 82 dagen lyn en ik bin grutsk te sizzen dat ik perfekt west haw op gjin masturbaasje en gjin orgasme. Ik bin net sa grutsk om te sizzen dat ik elke pear dagen weromkomt op porno - it liket gewoan in pear minuten fan bikini / sêfte kearn, mar ik wit dat it noch altyd ferkeard is. Dit is de striid dy't ik noch fjochtsje.

Teminsten foar my liket it lykwols dat nofap de kearn fan 'e oplossing is, om't it probleem dat ik hie desensibilisaasje wie troch deathgrip - ik fielde neat fan PIV of BJ of wat oars dan myn hân. Troch myn hân folslein te eliminearjen kin ik my stadich (heul stadich, mar wis) wer fiele.

Sawat 45 dagen yn koe ik de PIED perfoarst fiele fuortgean, mar it wie noch net perfekt. Ik fertelde myn GF doe oer myn probleem, dat is in oar ding hjir foar debat; teminsten yn myn situaasje wie it heul nuttich om har te fertellen, sadat se de dingen begrypt dy't se moat dwaan om my better te wurden.

En om oan 'e ein fan' e tunnel nei it ljocht te kommen - dat is hopelik gewoan it EERSTE ljocht - fan 'e moarn koe ik it by PIV sa hâlde foar it earst yn myn libben (en ik bin yn myn lette 30's ) Ik joech in famke in orgasme krekt dêrfan. Ik fielde ek in soad mear (fansels om't ik yn koe en trochgean koe), mar ik haw noch in manier om te gean foardat ik folslein opnij start.

Dat ja, dit is wat in bragpost, mar ik haw genoaten fan it opsjen fan berjochten fan oaren, om't har sukses my hope joech foar myn sukses. Ik haw noch in manier om te gean, mar as ik de punten fan myn reis kin gearfetsje:

  • Lange tiid fan PMO-sukses, dy't in houlik trochinoar ferdwynt fanút it binnen
  • Oan 'e ein fan' e dei kaam myn moedichheid oer trije moannen lyn oan en waard 100% goed op nofap (gjin râne of masturbaasje), mar net sa grut op porno (sterker reduzearre, mar net pornofree)
  • Diele alle details mei nije freondinne. Dat ik bin op 'maklike' modus opnij ferbine tagelyk mei opnij opstarten.
  • In soad reduzearre PIED (ferfongen troch in pear prestaasjesfeardigens) oer 45 dagen yn
  • Wylst PIV 82 dagen yn foltôgje koe
  • Were mear dan 90 dagen sûnder myn eigen orgasme, en ik sil net explodearje - dus it is net nedich foar alle jonges

tl; dr PMO-suksesfokker dy't nea in kompleet meitsje koe PIV koe nei 82 dagen NOFAP te dwaan. Reboot is feilich net foltôge, mar tige folle yn 'e progress en wurd de offeren makke

LINK - 82 dei post - d'r is in ljocht oan 'e ein fan' e tunnel!

by yetanotheranon1


 

UPDATE - Nei hast fjouwer moannen begjinne ik normaal wurden

My fjouwer moanne jubileumkeap is in pear dagen lyn. It is krekt ien moanne nei't ik myn hjoeddeiske freondochter wie, dy't de stroep wie dat de kamielen op my brochten, op it lêst it PMO-fyts te brekken. Se wie sa leaf en begryp en ik woe har sa slim, mar koe net útfiere en foar it earst yn myn libben sei ik dat ik better bin, net allinich foar har, mar foar mysels. En dan lêze, lêze, lêze en beslute it programma te ûndernimmen.

<--break->” src=”https://www.yourbrainonporn.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/02/spacer.gif” title=”<--break-->“>It has not been without its bumps. I’ve been completely free of fap — no edging, no masturbation — but not pornfree. I’ve learned that its not because I am not satisfied looking at my girl, but its because of the novelty of seeing something new.</p><p>My main symptom was terrible PIED; while I was married for over a decade (to my first girlfriend and only sexual partner ever) I can’t say I ever successfully had PIV sex. I just assumed I was ‘broken’ at sex and that the PMO cycle was not the problem.</p><p>During the divorce I saw a counselor who told me I was addicted to porn, but I was going through a LOT of things and chose to ignore it, thinking whats the problem with PMO when you don’t have anyone. Looking back it was so stupid, but in my own defence, I was able to lose a LOT of weight and change my attitude towards women even before I quit PMO.</p><p>At around the 30 day mark of the program I told my girlfriend what I was going through. She was supportive and I stuck with ‘easy’ mode in the sense I still had sexual activity, just didn’t O, and still had PIED issues. At around the 90 day mark I for the first time in my life had PIV sex where I gave her an orgasm, and a few days later, I actually had an O inside a woman for the first time EVER. It was such a different experience that I didn’t even know it was happening till it was done.</p><p>Suffice to say I felt pretty good (even though like any one who is having first time sex, it was sooo quick). Then I think I fell into a flatline, or something happened. For the next two weeks I couldn’t get it up at all, and I was despondent. I felt like I did in my first relationship, that I was broken. But unlike last time, I felt horrible because I wanted to be better, because I know myself and my girlfriend deserve a normal sex life.</p><p>If one thing I’ve learned as a side effect of giving up PMO is that your emotions pour out of you like no one’s business. And this weekend after some progress in the right direction a few things happened that led me down a deep, dark path of self doubt. I can say honestly I never thought about relapsing, but I could not see the light at the end of the tunnel.</p><p>I also read the forums and we all know that in addition to the success stories we have stories of struggle, and there was a post yesterday that was something like “I just want to cry”. And I’m a typical guy, was told never to cry, and then you add on PMO which masks our emotions, I never cried. But I just cried about where I am, and cried in front of my girlfriend, just because the emotions were pouring out and I wasn’t bottling it up anymore and I wasn’t resorting to fap either.</p><p>As someone who PMOed for 30+ years and didn’t cry for 30+ years I can say that both things are definitely wrong. I can only wish someone I trusted had told me this. I can’t say that crying on its own felt better, but confronting my emotions, my insecurities, my fears, with someone I trusted was a big step of the process.</p><p>So after being reassured that my girlfriend and I would work on it as a team, and us talking over some things that normal couples do (such as being more expressive during sex over what we like, etc) we tried again the next couple of days. The next day, I was able to have PIV sex and have an O (so yes, the second time in my life inside a woman). Since I was aware of the sensation I was able to actually delay the O for a few minutes, but still not enough for my GF to O. The day after, I can say that it was a normal (still brief) sexual encounter .. I brought my GF to O and then I O afterwards.</p><p>In any regular life this is not something to write home about, because the sex was just ‘normal’. But after all this time, being normal is all I want. I now have regular issues – having to time my and my GF O, different sexual libidos, etc. And I’m not completely out of the woods. I am still so insecure about this and know that doubt will come into my mind again.</p><p>But I only know one thing — PMO is no longer an option. I just can’t do it anymore. One last aside. A couple of days ago my GF and I watched the movie Thanks for Sharing. That movie is about sex addiction but there’s a LOT in common with our problems (as porn and masturbation addiction are often also problems of sex addicts). My GF told me after watching it she felt a lot more understanding of the journey I was going through. Since she was sitting next to me she also said I was sweating a lot through the movie. I believe that was because it was uncomfortably accurate. So we had some more serious and frank discussions about the addiction and the recovery process.</p><p>I told her that while I’ve been tempted to fap I didn’t do it because I didn’t want to fail you guys online, fail the fellow soldiers in the nofap war, fail her, or fail myself. I think about all of those folks I’d let down if I fap and then I don’t. I told her the truth that I’ve had much more difficulty with porn and that I want to give it up for good too. And then she asked me, very sweetly, to give that up for her too. And you know, I’m glad she asked me. Some guys might take it poorly (like the Don Jon character did in that movie) but I know she did it because she loves me and now every time I’m tempted to click a link I don’t want to let her down.</p><p>tl;dr After four months with some severe ups and downs, many of them emotional, am able to have normal sex with all the normal issues that normal people have. The reboot isn’t complete but the journey is the ONLY option I have.</p><hr><p> </p><p><strong>UPDATE2  <a class=- Jo kinne wer werom komme (skieden fanwegen porn)

Dat, ik haw myn heule libben in grut probleem mei porn. Myn bêste freon yntrodusearre my werom op 'e middelbere skoalle en ik wie in geek, nerdich bern, dus ik wit noch dat ik oeren hat besocht GIF's te downloaden fan myn modem fan 1200 baud en it foar myn heit te ferbergjen (kantnotysje: myn âlders benaderje my gewoan te fertellen it is min sûnder út te lizzen wêrom't NET WURKT. Jo moatte ek oannimme dat jo bern tûker binne as jo - as se wat wolle dwaan dat jo net goedkarre, sille se it dwaan).

Myn relaasje mei porno hat foarôfgien oan elke echte relaasje dy't ik mei froulju hie. It hat net echt ynfloed op hoe't ik froulju behannele, mar it behannele hoe't ik SEX behannele. En de bottomline is dat ik seks foarkar sûnder oardiel en op fraach ynstee fan 'e ups en downs fan echte seks.

Dat wylst ik gjin reservearrings hie oer 'seks' foar it houlik, tink ik oan hoe piss it wie earm en hoe't ik hast fuortendaliks werom gie nei porn. Hie gjin seks op 'e houliksnacht, en dan soe ik fjirtjin jier myn wyklikse seksnacht freze mei myn (no eks) frou, ûntskuldigingen opmeitsje om it te foarkommen, en dan ynstee nei de oare keamer te gean en wat te finen porn om nei ôf te sjitten.

Hoewol dit net it iennichste probleem yn myn relaasje wie, wie it efterôf in grut diel dêrfan - wierskynlik 90%. En it is net iens it gebrek oan seks, it wie echt it gebrek oan yntimiteit. En wylst ik op it stuit flierde doe't myn (no eks) frou om in skieding frege, sil ik no tinke wêrom't se yn 'e hel sa lang wachte, wêrom mocht ik it tastean?

Dat tidens de skiedingsproseduere seach ik in houliksoarch dy't myn problemen mei pornografy korrekt diagnostisearre. Mar ik negeare it noch, fral om't ik foar it earst yn tweintich jier nij single wie, en porn wie it noflike ding dat ik myn heule libben wist.

En doe moete ik in perfekt famke, en wy hienen seks. En it wie sa frustrearjend. It gie wer min. Mar dizze kear soe ik net gewoan oannimme 'sa is it'. Ik moast útfine wat ferkeard wie, om't ik mei myn eks-frou hie oannommen dat 'seks net nedich wie as jo leafde hawwe' of soksoarte bullshit. Ik wist no dat in lokkich, ferfollend sekslibben in eask wie foar in lange termyn relaasje.

Dat wie doe't ik de nofap en pornofree forums tsjinkaam en wat ferhalen oer minsken krekt lykas my lies. En it is in LANGE wei west mei weromfallen tusken, mar ik haw hast in jier besocht pornografy en fap op te jaan. De hjoeddeiske freondinne wit oer myn probleem en hat stipe west.

Sûnt ik besykje beide op te jaan, haw ik folle better seks hân (op gjin inkelde manier perfekt) en koe ik mei har orgasme (ik haw noait mei myn eks-frou dien). En it lange en koart dêrfan is dat ik wer dwaande bin, mei dizze kear in sûn sekselibben sûnder porno en fap as diel fan it plan.

tl; dr Earste relaasje fan hast tweintich jier ferrotte fan binnen troch PMO-ferslaving en late ta skieding. Koe it omdraaie en in nije relaasje bouwe (** Ik bin YNGAGED **) nei it opjaan fan PMO.

Dus foar dyjingen dy't fiele as jo binne op in leech punt, binne in soad fan ús west. Jo kinne it omdraaie, wêr't jo binne.