Yintoni ekhangeleka ngayo i-post-pornographic emotion?
Abafana abayeka i-porn bahlala bechaza utshintsho olungalindelekanga, njenge ukuphucula ukusebenza kwesondo kunye nokwaneliseka, ukuzithemba ngakumbi kunye nomnqweno wobudlelwane, ingxinano engcono, ulwalamano oluthandayo olwanelisayo kwaye nakanjalo. Sekunjalo nabo bahlala bethetha ngelinye utshintsho: Bavakalelwa ngakumbi imvakalelo. Oku kudla ngokubamkelekileyo kwaye kungabikho ntoyiyo ekuqaleni. Nazi ezinye iingxelo ezivela kubafana abazama ukuyeka i-porn:
Guy: "Khange ndicinge nokucinga ngezinto ezinje ngosizi ndide ndiqale eli linge. Ezi mvakalelo kunye neemvakalelo ezivela ekumiseni iphonografi zindibonisile ukuba ndingumntu odibeneyo kunye novakalelo kunokuba ndicinga. Kubaluleke kakhulu ukufumana ezi mvakalelo. ”
Utshintsho lunokudibanisa kwaye lucelomngeni:
Omnye umfana: "Ukusuka kulonwabo olungachazekiyo kwintlungu ekhubazekileyo, ngoku ndifumana iimvakalelo ezingakaze zibonwe ngaphambili. Ukuphulula amaphambili kwimifanekiso engamanyala kuye kwawandisa la manyala, endishiya ndonwabile kwaye ndonwabile. ”
Omnye umfana: "Into ebonakala ngathi abantu abaninzi abayivumi, kukuba uya kudibana neemvakalelo ongakhange uzive iminyaka, mhlawumbi awusoze. Amantombazana ebengakhathali kuwe ngaphambili aya kuthi ngequbuliso abe ngundoqo kubomi bakho be-f--king. Olo vavanyo aluphumelelanga? Awuyiqhumisi; uzikhathaza ngebanga lakho; unexhala malunga nokuza kokugqibela kwiiveki ezimbini. Kwaye oku kulungile; isihogo kukhulu. Le yintlupheko ofunda kuyo, ekukhulisa njengomntu. Kodwa kuya kuba buhlungu. Ngamanye amaxesha uya kuziva udakumbile, ubhideke mhlawumbi udandatheke. Kodwa musa ukuwela kuloo mgibe. Iimvakalelo ziyadlula, iinkumbulo ziyaphela, kwaye uya kuphuma womelele ngenxa yoko. Khumbula, uneminyaka yokukhula ngokweemvakalelo kunye nokuqola ukuba ungene. Kusenokungabi lula, usenokungaziva ukhululekile, kodwa kufanelekile.”
Olu tshintsho alwenzeki ngobusuku, njengoko lo mfo wafumanisa:
"Bendihlala ndinemvakalelo kwaye ndithanda umntu ngaphambi kokuba ndiqale iphonografi. Kwiminyaka ye-3, kude kube yinyanga ephelileyo, bendibetha inyama yam kwi-2 iiyure ezi-3 ngokomndilili. Indenze ndangakhathali ngothando nakwiimvakalelo. Ndiziva njenge zombie ndingenazimvakalelo! Ndiye kwiintsuku ezingama-20 ubuninzi ngaphandle kokuhlaziya i-pornography. Ngoku, uninzi lwamantombazana lusondela kum. Kodwa eyona nto indixhalabisayo kukuba andiva luthando (amabhabhathane esiswini) kuwo. Yiyo loo nto, kufuneka ndibuye umva, kuba ndiziva ngathi andizokwazi ukubanika uthando. Ndiya kuqala nini ukuziva uthando kwakhona? Nceda undincede kule nto !!! Andiva nto. ”
Kuqhubekani?
Omnye umntu wathi:
“Iphonografi, embindini wayo, ifana nayo nayiphi na into ekukhobokisayo okanye isimilo. INGABUPHI intlungu yakho, kodwa yiyo apho ingxaki ikhona. Uyabona, awunakukhetha ukuphazamisa imvakalelo okanye imvakalelo ngaphandle kokuphazamisa zonke ezinye iimvakalelo kunye neemvakalelo. Nangona ezi zinto zibenza buthathaka ubuzaza, isizungu, usizi, ukuphoxeka kunye noloyiko, zikwathomalalisa uluhlu lweemvakalelo ezinje ngolonwabo, ithemba, uvuyo nothando. ”
Izenza ndindisholo njani iimvakalelo zakho? Iingqondo zethu zavela ukuze zizame i-homeostasis. Ukuba sibethwa ngovuselelo oluqatha bayalungisa. Ngokomzekelo, bathulisa imiqondiso ye-neural ngokutshintsha amanqanaba e-nerve cell receptor kwii-neurotransmitters eziphambili. Ukuzivuselela okungapheliyo kunokukhokelela ekubeni ndindisholo.
Ngomqondiso ofanayo, ukususa ukugqithisela kukuziva kubolile ekuqaleni (kuba ubomi bemihla ngemihla bubonakala bubuhlungu kwaye buba nenjongo), kodwa ngokugqithiseleyo i-numbness ishintshe ngokwayo. Imibala iyabuya kwaye inzondelelo iyanda.
UDoug Lisle uchaza ngokucacileyo kwintetho yakhe yeTEDx: Umgibe Wenjabulo. Unika imizekelo yendlela abadla ngokutya kakhulu abanokuthi babuye umva ngayo kwiminqweno yokutya kunye nexesha lokuzila okanye lejusi kuphela. Umgaqo ofanayo wokunyusa ubuntununtunu ngokuphepha ukuthoba ngaphezulu kusebenza kuyo yonke imbuyekezo yendalo, kubandakanya ukuphulula amalungu esini kwi-Intanethi. (Ukunikezela ngamanyala ku-porn ukuze ufumane olu phuculo kubizwa ngokuba "kuqaliswa kwakhona. ")
Iwebhusayithi ebalaseleyo, echaza ngokucacileyo imigaqo-nkqubo kunye nobuchule obusemva “kokutshintsha indawo osetwe kuyo” ukuze uzive ulunge ngakumbi kwaye wanelisekile, yile www.gettingstronger.org kaTodd Becker. Mamela kwi udliwano-ndlebe noTatd.
Uphando loxinzelelo lukwasikhanyisela kule meko yeemvakalelo ezibuthathaka ezibangelwa kukugqithisa kokukhuthaza, kwaye sizakujonga oku ngokunzulu ngakumbi kwisithuba esizayo. Okwangoku, siza kubonisa ukuba uphando lutyhila oko i-dopamine inika inkxaso Ukuphendula kuzo zonke izinto ezikhuthazayo, ke xa iphantsi, kuya kulindeleka iimpendulo ezingalunganga kwaye ezintle kwiimvakalelo- kuba nto uvakalelwa ufanelekile ukukhathazeka.
Uphando ngamanye amaxesha uphoswa uphawu
Abaphandi sele bebubonile ubungqina "bokudensitization" (ukwenziwa kwamanani okujikeleza komvuzo wengqondo) Izilwanyana ze-Intanethi, izilwanyana zokutya kwaye ngcakazo. Enyanisweni, zonke iziyobisi zokuziphatha zabelana iinguqu ezifanayo ezisisiseko zengqondo, apho ubuthathaka bunye kuphela.
kunjalo, ukungahoyi ngokupheleleyo ezo ziphumo, SPAN Lab, inentloko yingcali yezesondo, bavavanye abasebenzisi be-porn abanengxaki ngokuzibika ngeempendulo zeemvakalelo kuzo zombini ifilimu yezesondo ye-3 kunye nenye ifilimu. Ngokungathandabuzekiyo, izifundo ezingenazo iingxaki zokulawula ukusetyenziswa koonografi zichaze uluhlu olubanzi lweemvakalelo ngaxeshanye kunezo zinobunzima bokulawula ukusetyenziswa kwe-porn. Okumangalisayo kukuba, abaphandi abazange banike ngcaciso yomahluko. Endaweni yoko baxoxa ukuba amakhoboka e-porn kufuneka abonise "intsebenziswano" ebanzi yeemvakalelo (ngaphandle kwesiseko sethiyori kule ngqikelelo), kwaye bathi ukuhla kwabo ngokweemvakalelo kububungqina bokuba abasebenzisi be-porn babengengomakhoboka. (Huh?)
Ubunyani bokuba iibinki ezinobunzima Ngaphantsi Ukusabela kwimpembelelo—ngaphandle kokuba, ngokuqinisekileyo, ezo izivuseleli zizikhokelo ezichanekileyo kumlutha othile wombukeli (okwaziwa ngomlutha we-neuroscientists njenge ku khuthazwa). Kwakhona, isimo sengqondo sinokuchaphazela indlela echanekileyo ngayo umntu ubona imibala ethile, kwaye oku kukholelwa ukuba kunxulumene nomgaqo we-dopamine wobuchopho.
Kuthetha ukuthini ukuba ngumntu? Ukuba yindoda?
Ngokuqinisekileyo umntu ngamnye ngokwendalo uchaza amanqanaba ohlukeneyo ovakalelo. Nangona kunjalo, kuyabonakala kwakhona kubugcisa obukhulu begama lokuba amadoda angamadoda avele ukuba abe noluhlu olubanzi lweemvakalelo.
Ngaba imbono yethu yangoku "yempilo yesiqhelo yamadoda" igqwethekile kukuba ukusebenzisa kakhulu i-porn ye-Intanethi yinto eqhelekileyo phakathi kwamadoda amaninzi? Ngaba abafana banamhlanje banokusibonisa into engaphantsi koluhlu lweemvakalelo zabo ngenxa yokuba ingqondo yabo "ilawulwa phantsi" ekuphenduleni kwi-intanethi ye-intanethi ye-smörgåsbords yanamhlanje? (Abafazi baqala ukuba Xela imiba efanayo, kunjalo nje.)
Omnye umfana: "Ngequbuliso ndineminyaka engama-24, ndihlala ndedwa, ngokwentelekiso kodwa ndingonwabanga, ingengokusilela kodwa ngokuqinisekileyo ayiyompumelelo. Ubomi bam babutofotofo ngendlela engathethekiyo—yaye ndingenanjongo kwaphela. Akukho nto yandiphazamisa. Xa iingcinga zaziqala ukundikhathaza malunga nokubhala le noveli bendiyinxibile ngasemva engqondweni yam, malunga nokubaleka lo mdyarho bendisoloko ndifuna ukuwubaleka, malunga nazo zonke iincwadi endifuna ukuzifunda, abantu endidibana nabo, ngokufutshane, ubomi phila-ndiya kufa. “Ndiza kuqala ngomso; ngoku ndiza kubuya.” Niyayazi nonke ukuba ihamba njani. Yindlela emfutshane, eswiti, kwaye elula yokugcwalisa indebe engenanto ngaphakathi kuwe…. ndaziva ndingento yanto. Ndandihlala kwisixeko esikhulu, esiselula, esinomdla—kwaye andizange ndinikezele ngenene—k. Ngamanye amaxesha ndandiziva ndixhalabile okanye ndisoyika ngokuthe ngqo (xa i-fapping yam iqala ukufaka isandla ekubeni ndingafumani msebenzi), kwaye ngamanye amaxesha uhlobo lolonwabo. Kodwa ndandisele ndiligaqa. Yonke into yandidika xa kuthelekiswa ne-fapping. Okothusayo kukuba, ngamanye amaxesha iintlobano zesini zazingaphantsi kokuveliswa. ”
Nazi amazwana avela kumadoda amaninzi afunyenweyo:
Umntu wokuqala: "Ukubukela iphonografi ngokugqithisileyo kunye nokuphulula amalungu esini kwanciphisa amandla am okuziva iimvakalelo ngokupheleleyo. Ndakhala okokuqala kwiminyaka eliqela emva kweentsuku ezimalunga neshumi ukuya kwenye yeendlela zam zokuqala. Ukusukela ngoko, ndiye ndalila amaxesha amaninzi – ngelixa ndimamele umculo, ndifunda ibali, ndicinga ngabantu ebomini bam, kwaneembono ezintle zinokundenza ndivakale. Oku bekungenjalo ngaphambili. Okoko ndikhumbulayo, bendinexhala kwaye ndingachatshazelwa lihlabathi elindingqongileyo. Izinto ezithile zazinamandla ngokwaneleyo ukunqumla inkungu endandihlala kuyo, kodwa ubukhulu becala ndandidada. Ndandindindisholo ngendlela engathandekiyo. Ukuguqulwa koku ibe lolona tshintsho lunzulu kakhulu endilubonileyo ukusukela oko ndiyekile, kwaye luvuze kakhulu. Uvakalelo lweemvakalelo lubangele ukugqabhuka okuthe gqolo kokuyila. Ukushukunyiswa yinto oyenzileyo kunomvuzo ngokwenene, kwaye kuyomeleza ngendlela emangalisayo. Ndibhale umculo omninzi endizingca ngawo kwezi nyanga zimbalwa zidlulileyo kunale minyaka mine idlulileyo.”
Umntu wesibini: "UPhakathi kwezinto ezininzi eziphucukileyo ebomini bam okoko ukuyeka iphonografi kuye kwaba kukunyuka okungalindelekanga kovelwano lwam kwabanye. Njengomgaqo jikelele, ndiyabakhathalela abanye abantu kodwa andinalo uvelwano okanye amandla okuqonda okanye okwabelana nabanye ngendlela abanye abantu abavakalelwa ngayo. Xa into embi isenzeka komnye umntu, ndiyakwazi ukwamkela ukuba basenokuba baziva kakubi ngayo kodwa andiziva ndingonwabanga. Kwezi nyanga zimbalwa zidlulileyo, nangona kunjalo, ndiye ndafumanisa ukuba ndinolwazelelelo ngakumbi ngemizabalazo yabanye abantu kwaye ndiye ndaziva iintlungu zabo ngendlela endingazange ndibenayo ngaphambili. Ndizifumene ndikhathazekile nabanye, kwaye ndikwazile ukuveza inkxalabo yam ngendlela endingazange ndibenayo ngaphambili. ”
Umntu wesithathu: "Xa ndandibukele i-porn, ndandililungu elingasebenziyo kuluntu. Khange ndithethe 2 malunga noku kulandelayo: Umsebenzi, uSapho, iTyala, iimvakalelo zabaseTyhini, Ithemba lokukhulisa umntwana (yabonakala ibubudenge kum – kutheni umntu enokuba nabantwana?). Ubungozi beziyobisi ezikhobokisayo, Ukuvota kunye nezopolitiko, Uluntu lwasekhaya, ukuthanda izwe. Ndiyathetha ukuba, ndiyakwazi ukubhala izithuba ezinde zeReddit malunga nokuba kutheni into ethile ilungile okanye ingalunganga, kwaye ndifunde ngefilosofi ngokungapheliyo. Kodwa xa kufikelelwa kwisenzo, ndandingumntu ofileyo. Ukuba naliphi na inani elifanelekileyo labafana lifana nam, ngoko ke thina, njengempucuko, sisengxakini enkulu kakhulu. Kukho intsomi yembali yokuba uBukhosi baseRoma bawa ngenxa yeziphumo ezifihlakeleyo zetyhefu yelothe-isiphumo esisecaleni sobuchwephesha babo obutsha bokukhokela kwemibhobho yamanzi. Ukuba oku kuyinyani okanye akunjalo akuhambelani nenqaku. Eyona nto ibalulekileyo kukufaniswa kweemboniselo zekhompyuter zanamhlanje, eziye zangena kuwo onke amakhaya nakwigumbi ngalinye lokulala, zimpompa i-Intanethi ebuchotsheni.”
Umntu wesine: "Ukuqalisa kwakhona (ukuyeka iphonografi) kusizisa kulungelelwaniso olungcono ngeendlela ezingaphezulu kokukwazi ukudlala imidlalo yebhoner. Idibanisa abantu kwinqanaba elinzulu, kwaye ndiza kude ndiye kuthi xa yonke into yokuqalisa ngokutsha iqokelela amandla, kuyakubakho utshintsho kutshintsho olwenzekayo ngenxa yalo. ”
Kufuphi, ukuba abantu bathi bengaqondanga badambisa iimvakalelo zabo ngokuvuselela ingqondo yabo, ngaba bekungayi kuba kuhle ukuba oku kube nolwazi oluqhelekileyo? Kuya kuvumela ukhetho olunolwazi ngakumbi, kwaye mhlawumbi lukhuthaze uvavanyo oluthile olungexesha. Omnye unokukhetha, athi, yeka iphonografi ye-Intanethi kwiinyanga ezimbalwa ukubona nje indlela ubomi obujongeka ngayo kwindawo eyahlukileyo ye-neural "set point".
Iziphumo zolu vavanyo lwalumangalisa le ndoda:
"Oko ndivakalelwa ngaphambi nangemva kokuyeka:
- Ubomi buthuntu, akukho ndawo yokuya kwaye ubomi buyinkcitho.
- I-Porn yiyona yam yehlabathi, amantombazana asemasontweni nje.
- Akukho nto ibizwa ngokuba luThando; Inye inyani kwindalo iphela, okt.
- Bonke ubudlelwane kunye nokudibanisa buxoki.
- Wonke umntu uyaphuka ke yintoni ingxaki ukuba nam ndenza njalo?!
- I-Porn Porn i-SEX EDUCATION
Emva:
- Ubomi abugcini nje ngemibala kodwa loo mibala icacile ngaphezu kwesikrini se-HD; zonke izikhokelo zakho, zithatha isinyathelo; Ubomi buye buyichitha ngokutsha xa uphahla
- Iphonografi lilizwe labo bangaze bafune ukuba yinxalenye yehlabathi "lokwenyani" kwaye amantombazana zizidalwa ezintle ezinokukhanyisa umhlaba wakho.
- Inye kuphela inyani kwindalo iphela… UTHANDO, UTHANDO NOTHANDO NJE.
- Ubudlelwane kunye nokubambisana kwahlula abantu kwizilwanyana ezininzi.
- I-LOL kwakhona, ukuba imfesane imfundo yobulili ngokwenene ndifanele ndifumane i-doctorate ngoku.
Ndithembe bafo, ezi ntsuku zingama-90 zinamahla ndinyuka, kodwa andizange ndicinge ukuba kungakho iintsuku ezimangalisayo nezimnandi ebomini bam. ”
Ngenxa yobuninzi bokusebenzisa i-intanethi eyi-intanethi, ubunako obungenakulinganiswa bobudlelwane obusondeleyo obunelisayo kunye nobomi obugcweleyo bunokuba lukhulu. Khangela oko ucinga ngako xa ufunda ezi zilandelayo iingxelo:
Omnye umfana: “[Usuku 36] Ngokuqinisekileyo ndiziva ndivakalelwa kukuba andizange ndive kwiminyaka. Kwakufana noonobumba obunomdla obunomdla obuninzi ebomini bam. Ndaphinda ndaqala ndaziva kwakhona. Ukunyuswa kwam kunzima kakhulu…. Ndiziva ndinendalo ngakumbi xa ndithetha nabantu, kwaye ndinokutshintsha kwemood okumbalwa. Ndiyawaxabisa amantombazana kakhulu, kwaye ndiziva ndinesidingo sokuthetha nabo ngaphezulu kwesondo. Into endenze ukuba nditshintshe kukuba ukubukela iphonografi kunokundithintela ekubekweni kubomi bokwenyani. Inokundenza ndingahlali nabantu. Kunomvuzo kwindlela yokuziphatha engafanelekanga. ”
Omnye umfana: “[Usuku 36] Ngokuqinisekileyo ndiziva ndivakalelwa kukuba andizange ndive kwiminyaka. Kwakufana noonobumba obunomdla obunomdla obuninzi ebomini bam. Ndaphinda ndaqala ndaziva kwakhona. Ukunyuswa kwam kunzima kakhulu…. Ndiziva ndinendalo ngakumbi xa ndithetha nabantu, kwaye ndinokutshintsha kwemood okumbalwa. Ndiyawaxabisa amantombazana kakhulu, kwaye ndiziva ndinesidingo sokuthetha nabo ngaphezulu kwesondo. Into endenze ukuba nditshintshe kukuba ukubukela iphonografi kunokundithintela ekubekweni kubomi bokwenyani. Inokundenza ndingahlali nabantu. Kunomvuzo kwindlela yokuziphatha engafanelekanga. ”Omnye umfana: “[Ubudala 17] Ndaqala ukuhlaziya i-masturbating xa ndandineminyaka eyi-13 ubudala kwaye andizange ndijonge emva. Ndiza kuthi ndifake ubuncinci kanye ngemini kule minyaka i-4 idlulileyo. Undiphange ndaziva uthando, umonde, ulonwabo, kunye nokubulawa kweemvakalelo. Ngoku ndiyakwazi ukuthetha namantombazana ngokulula kwaye ndixhalabele abafazi ngokubanzi. Ekugqibeleni iyavakala indlela esebenza ngayo yonke le nto yolwalamano, ekubeni ndingazange ngaphambili ndibenomnqweno wokuba ne-SO. ”
Olu lolona ncedo lungcono lwe-NF, xa ingqondo yakho isuka kwimeko ebekiweyo ukuya kwimeko yendalo, nokuba yiveki, okanye usuku. Xa uvula umnyango wehlabathi, ufuna ukuba yonke into ibe yinyani; awufuni imifanekiso okanye iividiyo, ufuna ulusu lokwenyani, intsebenziswano yokwenyani. Awufuni ukuzanelisa ngoko nangoko, ingqondo yakho ekhobokileyo ifuna loo nto, kodwa phantsi kwelizwi lale mpundu izingcayo ufuna ngaphezulu, kwaye ungaphezulu koko. LINK
Umsonto omkhulu malunga nokuba unxibelelwano lwamehlo lungcono kangakanani xa ungabanjwanga kwi-porn: Isemehlweni
Bendikumhla wam wokuqala oko ndaqala umdlalo wam omtsha. Yayilusuku lokuqala. Ndive ngathi amehlo am axhumene nomphefumlo wakhe. Ibingathi ndingathetha naye apha emehlweni. Wathi kum “shit your eyes” ndathi yintoni “ingathi angangena kum” uvele wancuma. Ingathi bobabini bazive le ntsebenziswano yamehlo. Ingathi kukho umlingo othile. Bendikhe ndanayo le ndlela yokusabela kodwa kuphela xa ndikwi-streaks ezinde. Kutheni le nto ndingafuna ukuba ubomi bube muncu xa ndinokuba nalento. Kuya kuba nomdla ukuba umntu unokwenza isifundo esinxulumene neliso malunga ne-nofap. Ndiyaphila ngoku .. ngaphambi kokuba ndibe zombie ..
Omnye umntu: "UXa ufap ixesha elide, awuziva uvelwano ngayo nantoni na, okanye mandiyitsho ngale ndlela: Kukho kuphela esi sicwangciso simnyama / esimhlophe seemvakalelo. Uqhelekile okanye ulusizi ngokwenene. Ubuncinci yayinjalo imeko kum. Kwakhona, ndaye ndaphelelwa ngamandla ziimvakalelo ngokubanzi. Undibethile njengetoni yezitena xa zonke ezi mvakalelo zabuyela ebomini bam! Umzekelo okhawulezayo: Ngamanye amaxesha bendimane ndime apho embindini wendlela kwaye ndijonge phezulu esibhakabhakeni ndincume okomntu ophambeneyo, kwaye ngamanye amaxesha bendihlala egumbini lam ndilile okweenjakazi kuba ndive ingoma elusizi. ”
Omnye umfana: "Ndivakalelwa ngakumbiNgaphambili, nanini na xa ndisebenzisa i-porno ndiza kuba ndikhathazekile ngokweemvakalelo. Andikaze ndizive ndonwabile kunale veki. Ndaziva umsindo, intlungu, uthando, ukukhululeka, ulonwabo. Ndalila kakhulu ndancuma kakhulu. Ndivile ukuba umntu ufanelekile ukuba azive njani. ”
Omnye umntu: “(Usuku lwama-90) Ndineminyaka engama-45, ndinomkhwa we-PMO weminyaka eli-15 … Phakathi kwezizathu eziphambili zokwahlukana kwam yayizingisa i-ED kwicala lam, ubunzima obugqithisileyo bokuba kunye nokuvakalisa iimvakalelo, kunye nemiba yokuzithemba kunye nokuzithemba. Malunga nomhla wama-35 ndiye ndadibana ngesondo kunye ne-ex yam, ngobusuku nje obunye, kwaye ndakwazi ukuqinisekisa ukuba ingxaki yam ye-ED yayingcono kakhulu, kwaye ndandineemvakalelo ngakumbi kunangaphambili ngexesha lokwabelana ngesondo. Zonke iimeko zam ngokweemvakalelo [ziye zaba] lulwelo ngakumbi, kwaye [ndiziva] ndingenelwa ngokuthe ngqo ekunxibelelaneni nabantu kuba ndidibana neemvakalelo zam ndize ndizibeke kumagama ngokulula. Kakade ke, ekuphela kwesizathu sokuba isebenze kwasekuqaleni yayikukuba [ukuyeka] kwandikhupha kwimeko yokuba ndindisholo ngokweemvakalelo endandikuyo iminyaka. Ngomhla wama-75, ndadibana nowasetyhini kwitheko lomhla wokuzalwa womhlobo wam – wayenomtsalane kakhulu, ekwanguye noqhawule umtshato. Andizange ndizive ndizithembile, kodwa andizange ndibe nakuzithemba njengangaphambili. Ndivele ndaziva ndonwabile ukuba selusu lwam. Kwakhona ndaziva ndikwazi ukuthetha ngeemvakalelo zam, ngokuphathelele imeko yam nangokuphathelele yena.”
Omnye umfana: “[Usuku 18] Emva kokuchitha iminyaka eyi-12 edlulileyo kwimeko yokunqongophala kwamandla kunye noxinzelelo, ndiziva ndinamandla kunamadoda amaninzi endibaziyo. Amanqanaba amandla alungile, kwaye ndiziva ndizele bubomi, kwaye ndiziva ndomelele ngakumbi njengayo nayiphi na indoda yokwenyani ekufanele ukuba yiyo. Ndinovakalelo, kodwa andiloxhoba leemvakalelo zam. Ndiyinto eqinileyo exhomekeke kuyo. ”
Omnye umntu: "UEkuphakameni kokusetyenziswa kwam i-porno bendijonge kwenye f -— ed up sh-t kwiiwebhusayithi ukwenza nemilo, unyaka, ukufa..sisiseko zonke izinto f -— zaphakanyiswa. Ndandijonge iividiyo ezingama-20 ngosuku, ngekhe nditshitshise ukuba ndibone ividiyo yomntu owaphula umlenze njl.njl. Oko ndayeka ukusetyenziswa kwe-porn kunye nezi vidiyo, ndabona umfanekiso webhola yomnyazi onomlenze owaphukileyo ndaza ndaqala ndaziva ndilula kwaye ndigula. Kuphantse ukuba ngathi ingqondo yam iqala ukufumana iimpendulo eziqhelekileyo kwakhona. Xa ndijonga ngasemva, inokuba intloko yam yayi-f -— ed up. Ngaba ukho omnye umntu onokunxibelelana nale nto nangayiphi na indlela? ”
Umntu wesibini: "Ewe, ndiyazi ukuba uthetha ukuthini. Xa ndibukele iphonografi okwethutyana, akukho nto ibonakala imbi kakhulu okanye icacile kum. Emva kweeveki ezimbalwa ngaphandle koononophala, andikwazi nje ukujonga i-porn [transgender] ngaphandle kwesisu. Kodwa emva kweeveki ezimbalwa ndiphantsi kwe-porn ndingatya ngelixa ndibukele loo nto, okanye ezinye izinto ezothusayo endingazukuzibiza ngegama. ”
Umntu wesithathu: “Iyahlekisa into oyithethayo. Xa ndandingumsebenzisi we-porn okhutheleyo bendihlala ndibukela iifilimu ezoyikisayo ngaphandle kokuphamba okanye ukucinga oku kwaye kwagula. Kodwa ke khawufike uyicinge, ngoku ndiyazoyikisa kwezinye iindawo… iyothusa ngokwenene. ”
Ndikwimini ye-134 ye-hardmode ukuza kuthi ga ngoku. Ndiziva ndigxininise kwaye ndilawula ngoku. Yonke imibala, izandi, ivumba neemvakalelo zehlabathi zicace gca yaye zintle. Ingathi ndivuka kwiphupha elinzulu nelisibekeleyo. Lihle kakhulu ihlabathi!
Iimvakalelo ziyabuya. Ndandindindisholo, ndingakhathali kwaye ndikruqukile ixesha elininzi, kwaye ndandingafumani lonwabo lukhulu kuyo nantoni na. Kodwa kwiintsuku ezimbalwa ezidlulileyo, ndiye ndakhubeka kumzobo ongebali elingembali elichukumise umphefumlo wam laze lathi gwantyi iinyembezi emehlweni am. Into ebendiza kuyithatha njengesiqhelo okanye i-cliche ngaphambili ngoku indichukumisa ngokunzulu. Ndibona iziphumo!
Omnye umfana: "Enye into endiyiqapheleyo yayiyimvakalelo encinci "yokukhulula". Ukukwazi ukuziva umqala kunye nesifuba xa ujikeleze umfazi (nangona womelele njengoko ndikhumbula) ubeke ezinye zeemvakalelo zam emgceni. Ndiyazisola kakhulu, kwaye ndiyalila, uthando lwangaphambili, kwaye bendibhidekile iminyaka ukuba kutheni ndingakwazi "ukuziva" kakuhle.
Omnye umfana: "[Usuku lwe-63] Ndicinga ukuba ukusetyenziswa gwenxa kwe-porn kukhokelela ekuphulukaneni nokunxibelelana neemvakalelo zabo. Ndiziva ndiqinisekile ngale nto njengoko ndizibonele ngokwam. Ndiyathetha, if-ks iimvakalelo zakho kwaye ibulala ukutshintshiselana ngokukhawuleza ngokweemvakalelo nabanye. Ngoku ndidibanisa neemvakalelo zam. Olu tshintsho luya ngokuthe ngcembe kwaye luya kuba ngcono veki nganye. Kufana nokuziva ndiphila kwakhona :). ”
Omnye umfana: "Ndandisele ndikhathazekile xa ndisebenzisa i-porno, kodwa ngandlela thile bendinemvakalelo ngoku. Njengokuba, xa ndibona abantwana bonwabile, ndifumana konke ukufudumala ngaphakathi. Ndiye ndizive iimvakalelo zabantu kakhulu. ”
Omnye umfana: “[Umhla wama-36] Iimvakalelo ezibuyela ebomini. Oku kunokuba buhlungu kwaye ngamanye amaxesha kuphume ngokulinganayo, kodwa ndiziva ndiphila. Umntu othile ubhale impumelelo ngokuyinxenye malunga nokuhlala ungonwabanga. Ndiyaqala ukukuqonda oko. Enye indlela yokubulala imvakalelo (okanye ungaze uqaphele ukuba unemvakalelo) ngeyure ezintlanu. Ndiziva ngcono ngam nangobomi bam. Umama uthe izolo ebecinga ukuba ndibonakala ndonwabile kunokuba bendinayo kwithuba elide. Konwabele ukuziva ubuthathaka kwaye, ukuba imeko iyakuvumela, wonwabele ukudlala ngothando ngokukhululeka, ngendlela engenzi nto. Abantu abanjalo kwaye bayaphendula. Nokuba uhamba esitratweni yinto evuselela inkanuko okwangoku. ”
Omnye umfana: "Ndivumelana ngakumbi neemvakalelo zam. Akusafuneki ndifihle icala lam elibuthathaka. Ndiyakwazi ukuzityand’ igila ngengxaki zam ndivumele abantu bangene. Ubuxhwarha ibingumba omkhulu kum, ingakumbi kuyo yonke into ebendiyifihla. Ekubeni ngoku ndiyibeke ekuhleni, andinangxaki yokuthetha nabahlobo okanye abasondeleyo kum ngezinto ezisengqondweni yam okanye intlungu endikuyo. Ndikwayibona imeko yeemvakalelo endikuyo, kwaye ndiyaqonda ukuba yinto enokulawulwa. Ucatshukiswe ngulo mfana wakuqhawulayo? Thatha umoya onzulu kwaye uxabise okulungileyo ebomini bakho. Ndivuleleke ngakumbi malunga nokubonisa imvakalelo ngokunjalo. Wonwabe ngokwenene? Yiyeke iphume. Hleka ngathi akukho ngomso; yenza wonke umntu azive elungile. Ndandidla ngokuvuya ngokwenene ngento ethile kwaye ndizive ngathi kufuneka ndiyifihle. Ndandiziva ndisengozini ukuba ndonwabe ngokwenene. Ngoba? Andinaluvo. Ukonwaba nabanye yenye yezona mvakalelo zintle onokuba nazo. Apho ndandikade ndilugatya uthando, ngoku ndiyalulangazelela. Andisafuni kutyhala abantu kude. Ndifuna ukubasondeza.”
Omnye umfana: "Ndifumanisa ukuba iimvakalelo zam zinokuvuselelwa ngokulula zizinto ezinomdla endizibonayo ebomini okanye kwiifilimu. Ndinxibelelana ngakumbi neemvakalelo. ”
Ndikuluhlu lweentsuku ezingama-24 kwaye ukusukela ngomhla we-6 bendifumana amaphupha acacileyo rhoqo ebusuku okokuqala ngqa kwiminyaka eyi-10. Okokuqala kwiminyaka eyi-10 andiva bubuthongo emini kwaye ndivuka ndiziva ndihlaziyekile rhoqo kusasa. Olu ncedo lukhatywe kwangaxeshanye ukuxhalaba kwam kwezentlalo, i-anhedonia, ukungabikho kokugxila, inkungu yengqondo njl. Ngaphambi koku, bendiya kuba nezinto ezijikelezayo ezijikeleze intloko yam ebusuku kwaye andisoze ndizive ndiphumle nasemva kweeyure ze-8-9 zokulala okungaphazanyiswa.
Kutheni oku kubangela umdla ngokukhethekileyo? Kungenzeka ukuba umlutha we-PMO akakwazi ukulala kakuhle kuba ukulala kwe-REM kunye nokuphupha ngokucacileyo kufuna umsebenzi we-dopaminergic enempilo. OMG! Ubungqina be-100% yeNoFap isebenza! Umlutha we-PMO akakwazi ukufumana ubuthongo be-REM!
Ndandihamba ndibuya ejimini ndidlula kwibala lengca xa kukho into eyenzekayo. Kwaba ngathi kukho umntu osengqondweni yam ofake iqhosha elithi "on" kwaye waphakamisa inqanaba lokuziva kwam kwaye okokuqala ngqa kwiminyaka ndaziva ndiqhagamshelwe ngokwenene kwihlabathi. Yonke ingxolo entlokweni yam yaphela, ekugqibeleni kwiminyaka ndakwazi ukujonga umhlaba kunye nozuko lwalo kuthe cwaka. Ndivele ndema, ndimamele isandi sendalo emva koko ndahlala phantsi ukuze ndive ingca yengca phakathi kweminwe yam. Baye bandijonga abanye abantu kodwa ndandingakhathali, lomzuzu wawumhle qha.
Ngaba ndisanda kunyusela kwinqanaba elitsha lokuziva? Nokuba yeyiphi na indlela ndicinga ukuba ingqondo yam iyaphola kwiziyobisi ezidlulileyo kunye neenkohliso. Ndithi chu ukubona ukukhanya ekupheleni kwetonela. Thixo wam ndichithe ixesha elininzi ebomini bam ndikhohliswa yi-intanethi nakweminye imiba engenamsebenzi.
Ndicime yonke into engenamsebenzi kwikhompyuter yam. Ndinqunyanyisiwe iakhawunti yam ye-facebook, ndacima iakhawunti yam ye-twitter, ndalahla zonke izimvo kwiakhawunti yam ye-disqus. Inyani indibethile njengelori yeetoni ezili-100 namhlanje kwaye ngoku ndiyazi ukuba bendilahleke kangakanani. Inyani yandibetha okwelori
Omnye umfana: "Andizange ndiqonde ukuba kutheni abantu behlala bethetha ngeemvakalelo ezimbi, kuba kunqabile ukuba ndibonakale ndizifumana. Kodwa inyani kukuba andifumani mvakalelo, kuba ngentsingiselo yemvakalelo, ngakumbi into engalunganga, ndiza kuyikhohlisa inkqubo ngokuyiyeka [ukuphulula amalungu esini kwi-Intanethi]. Akukho kwakhona nangona kunjalo. Lixesha lokujongana, lixesha lokwamkela imiceli mngeni. Kuyothusa kakhulu, kwaye ngoku ndiyaqala ukuyamkela ngokwam into yokuba ubomi ayizizo zonke iimvakalelo ezilungileyo. ”
Omnye umfana: "[Usuku lwe-104] Ngesizathu esithile, bendinxibelelana kakhulu neemvakalelo zam kunangaphambili, kwaye bendiqala ukuziva izinto ixesha elide kangaka. "
Omnye umfana: "Izizathu zokuyeka: Qalisa ukuziva unoluvo olunamandla ngalo lonke ixesha, endaweni yokuba ube mfiliba kwilizwe elihle elikungqongileyo. Akusekho Abahamba Ukuhamba. ”
Kwakukho indoda eyayidlala isiginci kwaye icula kabuhlungu. Ukrwada kum ukugweba, ndiyazi, kodwa bekuya kufuneka uyive. Phofu khange ndiphinde ndikwazi ukuzibamba ndiye ndaphuma kula pub ndaqala ndabhomboloza yintsini, I mean bendilila yintsini ibiqatsela. Andikhumbuli ukuba ndagqibela nini ukuhleka ngolohlobo yayingafanelanga. Abalingane bam bandibona ndihleka ngaphandle, baqala ukuhleka, abantu baqala ukuguqula iintloko kule ndawo incinci / ithule kwaye kwafuneka bacelwe ukuba bahambe! Yayihlekisa, kodwa into endizama ukuyithetha kukuba: Andikhumbuli ndiziva ndiziva ndisentliziyweni de kube namhlanje iminyaka. Iimvakalelo zibuyela kum
Omnye umfana: "Iintsuku ezingama-280 - Ingqondo yam yokukhanga kubafazi bokwenene benyuka. Ndaziva ndinxibelelana ngakumbi neemvakalelo zam kwaye iimvakalelo zam ziziva zityebile. ”
Omnye umfana: "Ingxelo yeentsuku ezingama-30-Uya kuthi bazive izinto: Ndisebenzisa i-porn njengendlela yokujongana nazo zonke izinto kunye neemvakalelo endandingafuni ukujongana nazo. Uninzi loxinzelelo, unxunguphalo kunye neemvakalelo zokungoneliseki. Nje ukuba uthathe iphonografi ngaphandle kwe-equation uya kuziva izinto owawufihle kuzo. Kwimeko yam yayi, kwaye isekhona, ibuhlungu kwaye ingonwabisi. Kodwa kulungile. Uya kukhula womelele ngenxa yayo. Ngokwenyani, ngenene, ndiziva ndomelele kwaye ndiyazingca ngokujamelana noloyiko lwam (idabi alikapheli). ”
Omnye umfana: "Xa ndandiphonografi andikaze ndibenemvakalelo efudumeleyo esiswini sam malunga namantombazana. Ngoku, ndandifumana i-erection-hard erection xa ndabona intombazana enhle idansa. Ndiva le ndlala yokuphuma kwaye ndinxibelelane namantombazana, kuba ndiqala ukuziva uthando kunye noxinzelelo ngokwesondo kubo. Andinakulinda ukuba ndiphinde ndibenentombi kwakhona ukuze ndiphumeze uthando nothando. ”
Omnye umfana: Bendikumhla wam wokuqala oko ndaqala umdlalo wam omtsha. Yayilusuku lokuqala. Ndive ngathi amehlo am axhumene nomphefumlo wakhe. Kwakungathi ndiyakwazi ukunxibelelana naye ngamehlo. Wathi kum, “Shit! amehlo akho!" Ndathi "yintoni?" “Ingathi bangangena kum.” Uvele wancuma. Ingathi sobabini siyivile lento yokudibana kwamehlo. Ingathi kukho umlingo othile. Bendikhe ndanayo le ndlela yokusabela kodwa kuphela xa ndikwi-streaks ezinde. Kutheni le nto ndingafuna ukuba ubomi bube buhlungu xa ndinokuba nalo? Kuya kuba nomdla ukuba umntu unokwenza isifundo esinxulumene neliso malunga ne-nofap. Ndiyaphila ngoku.. ngaphambi kokuba ndibe zombie. Isemehlweni
Omnye umfana: Indlela i-nofap eyenza ngayo i-extrovert
Ithiyori yam ihamba ngolu hlobo: okoko ndaqala i-nofap ndaye ndonyusa uvakalelo lwam kwiimvakalelo. Okubaluleke ngakumbi kukuba ndibonisa kwaye ndabelana ngeemvakalelo nabazali bam nabahlobo. Ndicinga ukuba kwenzeka into efanayo xa ndikunye nabantu endibathandayo (abahlobo babahlobo okanye abantu endingabaziyo). Ndiyavumelana nendlela endiziva ngayo kwaye ngenxa yokuba iimvakalelo zam zomelele ngoku ndiyakwazi ukuzichaza ngaphandle koloyiko lomgwebo.
Umzekelo: Ndihlala ndijonga ixesha elide kwaye ndincume kubafazi kuba ndiyabathanda. Ngaphambi kokuba ndikhawuleze ndijonge kude ndicinge "shit, undibonile ukuba ndimqaphele?" Ngoku iingcinga zam zihamba, "Ndifuna ukuba abone kwaye azi ukuba ndimqwalasele kuba ndimfumana enomtsalane".
Omnye umzekelo kukuba ngaphandle edolophini. Kwibar okanye ukuhamba-hamba edolophini, ndibona abantu basetyhini, bendithi "molo" okanye ndibancedise.
Kuyo yomibini le mizekelo, iimvakalelo zam ziyagcwalisa kwaye zifikelele kwinqanaba lokuphosa xa kufuneka ndizichazile. Andifuni kuvunywa okanye ndinethemba lokuba ndiza kubalanda. Ndifuna nje ukuba bazi ukuba ndiziva njani. Ndizenzela ngokwam, kuba ndiziva ndikhululekile ukuzibonakalisa kwaye ndingagcini iimvakalelo zam ngaphakathi.
tl; dr extrovert = nofap ngenxa ye: ukwandisa isimo sengqondo + ukuqhuba imvakalelo yam
Uphononongo malunga nokulala phakathi kwezesondo kunye neziyobisi kwiingqondo
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