Ngaphandle kokuba ingxelo ihlukile, asisongeza kule khasi. Lawa ngamazwi abasebenzisi abanobugqwetha obunzima malunga neempawu ezibangela ukuba baqale ukumba iimpendulo. Ngexesha elide, amabali ecacileyo, yabona ukuvuselela iakhawunti. Kwakhona uphando lwangoku lubonisa Amanani aphakamileyo omlomo wesibeleko kunye nentlungu ephantsi kubasebenzisi abancinci be-intanethi.
Bukela i-Noah Church i vidiyo kwiimpawu zokugqithisa ngokweqile okanye ngokugqithiseleyo.
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(Ubudala 20) Njengoko ndisiya ndisiba mdala ngakumbi ziyabonakala iziphumo ebezingalindelekanga zolu hlobo lomlutha ziba: umdla omncinci kwisini sokwenyani, ukuzahlula, ukunyanzeliswa okubuthathaka, ii-orgasms ezingathandekiyo
Kwimeko yam, bekukho inkuthazo ephantsi (andikhathali), ndihlala ndidiniwe, inkungu yengqondo, ubunzima bokugxila, uxinzelelo lwasentlalweni, uxinzelelo, njl njl .. bendisazi ukuba akukho nto ilungileyo kum (nabahlobo abasondeleyo nosapho bayazi nayo ), kodwa andinakukwazi ukubeka umnwe wam kuyo (okanye andifuni ukuya kumbono womlutha).
Ndiyikrwitshe isoseji yam ngenhliziyo yonke le minyaka, ithathe ubume beyure yeglasi, (ayikaphiliswa.) LINK
Ndijikeleze nzima namhlanje, kwaye ndazama nzima ukuba ndingaqhubeki nemvakalelo. Ke, ngenxa yokuva kwam umntu esiza egumbini lam, ndaye ndachopha, kwaye ngaphambi kokuba iqale, ndayibamba phezulu ndaza ndayibamba ngamandla ukuze ndibambe ukuphuma kwam ndaza ndazopha. Ndikhawuleze ndaziva iintlungu ezibukhali ndaya kwigumbi langasese, ndingaboni nto ngaphandle kwegazi kunye neebhithi zekum eziphuma kum. Ndikhululekile ukuba loo nto yenzekile.
Ngethuba lokuba ndifike kwixesha le-21, ndabona imiphumo emibi ye-PMO:
* ED - Kungekudala ndiyaqonda ukuba andiyonto; yayiziipikseli okanye "amabhabhathane esiswini sam" abangela ukuba uqhagamshelo lobuchopho-lobudoda lunyanzelise ulwakhiwo. Ukulungiswa ngokwako kuya kuthi, kodwa ukuba ndiyayikhupha ingqondo yam yoononophala okanye ukuba "ndisebenza," ipenis yam iya kuba yibhaluni echazayo (ngokoqobo). Kuya kufuneka, ngamanye amaxesha, ndiyifumane ngomsindo ngesandla, kodwa ayifuni nayo! Ndizama ukuyeka, kodwa kufana nengqondo yam indixelela ukuba ndiqhubeke, i-pmo iya "kuziva kamnandi, ndiyakuthembisa."
* Intlungu yamatyhalarha - ndicinga ukuba sisiphumo se-PMO yemihla ngemihla. Ndidiniwe ngokwesondo, ndiyaqikelela. Ayisiyontlungu yokubandezeleka, yi-epididymis (emacaleni).
* Intloko ebuhlungu, uxinzelelo lwesono - Nangona oku kuye kwandichaphazela ukusukela ngo-2011 (kwiminyaka embalwa emva kokuba ndiphumelele i-HS), andazi ukuba ndenze ntoni ngayo. Kwenzeka kuphela ukuba ndi-PMO yonke imihla, ngokuchaseneyo nokuthetha kanye yonke imihla. Ndicinga ukuba kukudubula kwentliziyo ngokukhawuleza kwingqondo yam, ithuba leekhemistri, okanye ndigxile kakhulu kwiscreen.
* Kunzima ukuhamba ngaphambili kwabantu-Kungaba kukuthintela ukudibana kwamehlo, intloko ijonge emhlabeni, okanye intloko yam "ijolle" ecaleni. Ndicinga ukuba luxinzelelo, kodwa andiziva ndothuka. Ndivakalelwa ngokungathi sisiporho okanye umntu obalekayo ngaphandle kokuqonda ukuba uyaphila! Abantu bakungqongile!
* Kunzima ukuthetha nabantu-ndiyazithemba kwaye ndigxile kakhulu "yiza, ndoda, thetha, yeka ukoyika." Ke luxinzelelo lwentlalo ngenxa yokuba intliziyo yam ibaleka.
Ngokuhamba kwexesha umbono wam wobomi wokwenyani wabasetyhini kunye nokwabelana ngesondo kwagqitywa ngokupheleleyo. Kwakungasenakwenzeka ukuba nembono emfutshane ngalo mba… ngenxa yazo zonke iingcinga eziphikisanayo entlokweni yam! “Abasetyhini bathanda isini ngobuqhetseba… hayi linda, abantu basetyhini bafuna isondo ekrwada eluhlaza…. Hayi, abasetyhini bafuna ukuzibophelela kwaye akukho sini konke konke… abasetyhini abangafuniyo bafuna ukubonisa ukungonwabi kwabo kuthi ngokunxiba iminqweno kodwa babe bengafumaneki ngelixa benakho ukufikelela kuzo zonke iintlobano zesini emhlabeni… abasetyhini zizini zesondo ezifuna ipenisi esebenzayo Uku-odola… kufuneka ndiyinkwenkwezi ye-porn ebhedini. Ndisilele! ” Into enjalo. Ekugqibeleni bekungenakwenzeka ukudibanisa ezo mbono, ezinye zazo bezichasene ngokupheleleyo. Yandibhida yandidandathekisa
Ndaphuma kubudlelwane kwi-2012 kwaye ndaqala ukubutshabalalisa ubomi bam. Ndalala ngesondo namantombazana ama-4 ngo-2012 nangona kungekho ngo-2013 nango-2014. Ngo-2013 ndafumana isiqalekiso esibi kakhulu… ewe igama elithi P. UBUDLELWANE. Oku kubangelwe zizinto ezimbini… usulelo lomchamo kunye nokuphulula amalungu esini. Kwafika indawo apho ndandifaka amaxesha e-4 ngosuku kwaye ndandingenakunceda. Ndaya koogqirha aba-3 abahlukeneyo, ugqirha omnye oqhelekileyo kunye neeurologist ezimbini. Usulelo lusonjululwe kwikhosi ekhawulezileyo yokubulala iintsholongwane kodwa iimpawu zaqhubeka ngaphezulu konyaka. Oogqirha bandixelele ukuba andinakuphila ubomi obuqhelekileyo. Ukuba bendinayo "imeko yobomi" kwaye kuya kufuneka nditye ukutya okunempilo, ndiyeke utywala kwaye ndisele amayeza ngonaphakade.
Kwakungekho ndade ndagqiba kwelokuba ndiziphilise ngengqondo yam apho ndandiqala ukuziva ngcono. Yonke into endiyenzileyo yayijolise kwindlela endandifuna ukuziva ngayo hayi eyenyani yangoku. Ndiza kugxila kwixesha elidlulileyo, xa ndisempilweni. Ndiza kugxila kwindlela i-dick kunye neebhola zam ezazidla ngokuziva ngayo ngaphambi kokugula. Oku kwandithatha ukuba nditshintshe izinto ebomini bam. Ndifumene ulawulo ngakumbi kumlutha wam wokusika ngokusika kwisiqingatha kwaye kamva kwi-1 fap ngosuku. KWIINYANGA EZINE EKUGQIBELENI NDENZE UKUCHAPHAZELELA NGOKUPHELELEYO KWIPROSATIKI. (Into engazange ibhalwe ngaphambili). https://www.reddit.com/r/NoFap/comments/3f2soq/save_your_life_force/
Ndine-epididymitis kwithuba elithile. Ndicinga ukuba mhlawumbi kubangelwe ukuhlaziya i-masturbation ngexesha elincinci ngelixa kufuneke kuhlaziye kakubi.
Andifundanga naliphi na ibali elibi njengam kwaye oku kuye kwandenza ndabona ukuba ndihambe kangakanani kule ndlela. Inxalenye yam isavakalelwa kukuba bekungafanelekanga ukuba ndiyayibhala le nto kodwa enye indawo yam ithi yeyiphi enye into endinokuyikhulula ekuchazeni oku kunokundinceda kuphela ukuba ndifumane inkxaso kwaye ndibonise abanye abantu kwiingozi zokufota. Le yithuba lenkwenkwe eyonakalise umzimba wayo ngesandla sayo. Kubuhlungu akunjalo? Kodwa yinyaniso leyo. Okwangoku ndiye ndafunyaniswa ukuba ndinesifo se-prostatitis esifuna iswekile yezonyango, ugqirha uthi amagumbi abambe igazi kwilungu lobudoda bam achaphazelekile, ukuqonda ukuxilongwa yenye ingxaki. Inyani yile ndiva nje ngathi sisidumbu esihambayo ngalo lonke ixesha ndihamba ngoogqirha. Le yindlela endiziva ngayo ngam nangobomi ngokubanzi. Ndiyoyika kakhulu ngayo yonke le nto, andazi ukuba incanca yam ingaze ibe njengangaphambili, andinayo nomrhumo wotyando okwangoku. Usapho kuphela endinalo apha ngutatomncinci wam kwaye khange akwazi ukuphakamisa ikota yemali efunekayo emva kwalo lonke eli xesha. Its not fair ndamfaka kule meko ngamanye amaxesha ndizibuza ukuba ucinga ntoni ngam, i wont be shocked if he leaving me.
Ndiphelile inyanga ngoku yaye ndivakalelwa kakhulu. Ngamanye amaxesha xa ndilala embhedeni ngoku, ndiyakhumbula nje ukuba ndidiniwe kwaye ndibuhlungu kangakanani xa ndandisoloko ndilala emva kwamabhayingi. Kubuhlungu kum ubuso bam ngoku, ukuba ndikwazi ukuya kwintlungu yokulala. Kufuneka kubonakale kunomsindo kubantu abangakaze bakubona oku.
Bambalwa kuphela abantu abaziyo malunga ne-testicle torsion, bendingenguye kubo kude kube ngo-2014. Ndandixinezelekile kwaye bendibaleka iingxaki zam ngokuphulula amalungu esini. Kodwa ngenye imini, ndiwela umgca ndicinga ukuba ndifake amaxesha angama-9-10 ngosuku. Emva kolo suku, ndavuka ndinentlungu enkulu kwityhalarha lam lasekhohlo. Ndacinga ukuba iza kuhamba. Khange yenzeke. Ndikrobile, iibhola zam ziba zi-4x ezinkulu, kwaye emva kweeyure ezili-12 kamva ndaya esibhedlele. Baye balwenza uvavanyo kwaye ndafunda ukuba yi "testicle torsion" kwaye ndinokuphulukana ne-testicle yam ngenxa yokubola.
Ukutshutshiswa kwamatyhalarha kwenzeka xa intambo ye-spermatic ijija, isika ukunikezelwa kwegazi kwitestamente. Oogqirha bangagcina ityhalarha ngotyando kodwa ukuba sele lihambile ixesha, akukho thuba. Ngokusisiseko ukuba ityhalarha lakho sele lifile, abanakwenza nto. Alukho unyango lokufa, okwangoku. Kwaye ityhalarha lam lifile xa bendisiya esibhedlele. Ndenziwe utyando kwaye basusa abafileyo basekhohlo.
Kwaye ngokungaqhelekanga ndandiqhubeka ndihamba. Kude kwiveki ephelileyo. Kwiveki ephelileyo, ndaziva ndibuhlungu kangangeentsuku ezi-2, ndaya esibhedlele, bathi ayilulo utyando lwamatyhalarha (bendisele ndiyazi loo nto. Ityhalarha lamatyhalarha libangela iintlungu ezininzi) kodwa abakwazi ukubona ukuba kwenzeka ntoni kwitestamente lam. Kwaye khange ndibaxelele kodwa ndiyifumene unobangela. Ndayifakela kakhulu ngeveki. Ndiyekile ngokukhawuleza kwaye andizange ndifake i-1 iveki. Intlungu iphelile. Ndiziva ndingcono ngokubanzi, ndiziva ndilondolozile ityhalarha lam lokugqibela. Ndinqwenela ukuba ndazi ngaphambili malunga nokwenzakala ngokuphulula amalungu esini kodwa sele yenzekile. Kodwa ungaligcina ityhalarha lakho. Kwaye ndicinga ukuba wenza i-nofap, esi sisizathu. Sukufap, kwaye ugcine ityhalarha lakho. Inkuthazo elungileyo ndicinga ukuba?
Ndandisandula ukugqiba unyaka we-10 kwaye ikhefu lasehlotyeni laliqalile. Uyazi ukuba kuthetha ntoni- Ukuphuphuma kokufota kunye ne-porn. Andizange ndenze nto kodwa. Owe, ewe, ndaqala ukusebenza ngelo xesha, kodwa ukufakela amandla amaninzi kum andinakukwazi ukwenza kwindawo yokuzivocavoca. Ngaphandle kwalonto, yonke loo nto yamanyala yayiyeyona nto ibuhlungu kwingqondo yam. Ndiphantse andabinamvakalelo kwaphela. Ndizimisele. Esi sihogo awufuni ukuya kuso. Omnye umntu angandibalisela ibali lomntwana odlwengulwe ngogonyamelo kwaye andizukuva NANYE INTO. Ndikhumbula ndihleli phantsi ngenye imini, ndijonge phantsi. Andazi ukuba kutheni le nkumbulo indibetha kangaka, kodwa bendicinga nje ngaphakathi kum "Ndinqwenela ukuba ndiphelelwe bubumnyama ndihlale apho, kude nayo yonke into". Ndiphulukene namandla okuziva ndonwabile. Ndacinga ukuba ndim okhulayo nje, kodwa ndandingalunganga- yayingamanyala. Iphonografi sisidleleli. Ngoku, isikolo saqala. Ndandisoyika abanye abantu. Ndandisoyika abanye abantu. Abafana bodwa endinokutyhala ngokulula ngoku (hayi ukuba ndenza…) baboyikisa. Bazamile ukuba ngabahlobo kum (kwaye ngoku sonke singabahlobo abalungileyo) kwaye ndandibathiya. Andazi ukuba kutheni, kodwa bendinqwenela ukuba bafe- behleka ngalo lonke ixesha, bephila ubomi. Ngesizathu esithile ndizilahle ngokupheleleyo iibhola zam. Ewe, iphonografi yayiseso sizathu. Ayisiyiyo loo nto kuphela, kodwa nengqondo yam yayisele ibuthuntu kakhulu. Ndandinodumo lokuba ndingumntwana okrelekrele kunyaka ophelileyo. Ukuba sisikolo esincinci, bonke ootitshala bayazi ukuba ngubani ke xa ndisiya kunyaka we-11 ngokucacileyo bonke ootitshala abaphezulu bebejonge phambili ukundifundisa (bandixelele le lmao). Babephoxekile- ingqondo yam yayixinekile kangangokuba ndandingacingi tu. Ndikhumbula kwiklasi yezibalo ndandilibele i-algebra esisiseko, kwaye utitshala wayefana "ubufanele ukuba ube krelekrele!". Ngaba ndandinguye? Andikhumbuli nantoni na edlulileyo ngeveki, kwaye bendingenawo amandla engqondo okugcina oko sikufundileyo kusuku olungaphambili.
Andineminyaka eyi-13 okwangoku, kwaye ndihle kakhulu nge-porn. Ndiza kuhlala ndikhuthazwa kwi-porno, kwaye oko kundenza buhlungu kakhulu.
Ubudala 17 - Ndaziva ndibuhlungu imihla ngemihla ngaphandle kwesizathu emva kweenyanga ze-6 ze-PMO. Ezinye zeempawu zezi: ubuvila, ukonqena, amandla, iinyikima, unxunguphalo olukhulu, inkumbulo embi, ukungabi namandla, ilizwi eliphantsi. http://www.reddit.com/r/NoFap/comments/2d609k/90_day_reportlovely_life_being_lovely/
(Indoda) ndiye ndaya kusela neqela lamantombazana kwaye sivulekile kakhulu kwaye sihlala sixoxa ngezinto zobuqu kunye nezinto ezinje ngesondo. Ubuncinci bamantombazana amane avumile ukuba uninzi lwamava abo ezesondo nabafana babandakanya abantu abangakwaziyo ukwenza i-orgasm, abakwazi ukufumana ulwakhiwo kwaye ngokubanzi bazicingela bodwa kwaye abanamdla kwigumbi lokulala. Uninzi lwala mantombazana alungile kwi-porn kwaye ngekhe ikhumbule ukuba i-SO yabo ibabukele kuba banengqondo evulekileyo. Nangona kunjalo ndicinga ukuba bayanyamezelana. Anditsho ukuba kufuneka wohlukane okanye ungxolise iqabane lakho kodwa unelungelo lokucaphuka kwaye uxoxe ngalo mbandela. Uninzi lwala mantombazana lunike ii-SO zawo amathuba amaninzi kwaye abafana baya kuxoka malunga nemikhwa yabo. Inyaniso yokuba abafana okanye amantombazana akhona le subreddit (NoFap) ucetyiswa ukuba uyayamkela ingxaki kwaye ayiyikuziqhayisa ukuba kulungile. Kwiminyaka ye-5-10 ixesha andinokuqinisekisa ukuba xa abantu behlala bechitha i-pornography, siya kuba nobudlelwane obunzima bezobudlelwane, ukutshata kuya kuba ngabikho kwaye kuya kuba nobunzima obundlobongela besini.
Ndingumlutha woononophala ngaphezu kweminyaka eyi-10 ngoku. Kuphela ngoku ndaye ndafumanisa ukuba ibinempembelelo enkulu kumnqweno wam wesini kunye nokusebenza. Ndingu 31 ngoku. Ndichithe ngaphezulu kweyure enye phantse ubusuku ngabunye kwi-porn. Xa ndijonga emva, ndacinga ngelo xesha ukuba kuyinto eqhelekileyo, kwaye kufuneka ndibulale umnqweno ngaphakathi kwam ukuze ndiyeke ukucinga ngesondo kwaye ndenze ezinye izinto ezibaluleke ngakumbi kum. Kodwa ngoku ndabona ukuba ndandingalunganga. Ndinqwenela ukuba umntu andixelele ngomonakalo onokubangela. Okukhona uchitha ixesha, kokukhona usiba likhoboka lengqondo yakho.
Emva koko ndiza kufumanisa enye into eyenzakalisayo, eyayifakela iziyobisi, eyandivumela ukuba ndide ndiye kwiiyure ezingama-7 zokungayeki ukubukela iphonografi kunye nokuzikhusela. Emva kwezi binges andizukuziva nje njenge shit ukusuka kwichiza kodwa ndiphinde ndihambe, ukuchitha ixesha nangaphezulu koko i-dick yam iya kudumba njengebhaluni kwaye ngekhe ndazi ukuba andizenzakalisanga. Ndingazicaphukela ngokwenza oko, bendiya kubathiya bonke abantu abandingqongileyo ngaphandle kwesizathu sokwenyani kwaye ndiyakuphinda ndiyenze kwakhona, ndongeze nangakumbi umonakalo kwaye ndizalise ubomi bam ngento engenamsebenzi.
Nantsi uluhlu olufutshane lwemiphumo engathandekiyo endiyenayo, ngenxa yokuhlaziya i-masturbation kunye noxilongo lwe-porn: - ukunqongophala kwamandla
-Ukuzahlula kwabanye-ukungabikho komnqweno wokunxibelelana nabanye abantu
- ubunzima obuphantsi ngenxa yokutya okumbalwa nokumbalwa
-Ingxaki yokwakhiwa
- ukungafuneki
- ukunciphisa ukonwaba ngelixa usabelana ngesondo
-Iingxaki zokugcina ubudlelwane kunye nentombi, usapho kunye nabahlobo
-Ukuswela amandla okunxulumana
-Ixesha elincinci lokwenza ezinye izinto
- iingxaki zoxinaniso
- ukungabikho komdla wobomi
Ukubukela iphonografi kwaba nefuthe elibi kakhulu kum: Kwandibangela ukuba ndibile kakhulu - indenze ndangumlenze kwimilenze emibini eneengxangxasi ezithulula iingalo zam. Kunzima ukuchaza ukuba kwakukubi kangakanani, kubuhlungu emzimbeni nasengqondweni. Njengoko ndayeka ukubukela iphonografi, nangona kunjalo, ingxaki yaphela, nangona ngaphezulu kweminyaka emithathu ngokuphuculwa okuzinzileyo. Ndikubhalela kuba ndibhale isincoko esifutshane ndicebisa abanye ngokubhekisele kwindlela endigqithe ngayo kule ngxaki yam yokubila, egxininisa ukuba ukuyeka ukubukela iphonografi sesona sizathu sokuba ukubila kuye kum, kwaye kuya kuba kuhle ukuba Unokunceda abantu bafumane eso sincoko ngokunika ikhonkco kuyo kwi-YBOP. Qhagamshelana ne-EBook
Isangqa sentlalontle sam sabethwa ngenxa yokuba likhoboka lam. Iziphumo zoononophala zibuhlungu ngokwenene - ngaphaya kwengqondo. Ikwahlukanisa abantu!
Xa ndiqala ukusebenzisa i-intanethi kwi-7th kwibanga ndaqaphela ukuba ingxininiso yam iyancipha kakhulu, kwaye ukukhuthazwa kwebhokisi yebholabhasi kwathatyathwa kakhulu, kunye nokukwazi kwam ukukhumbula izinto. Ndabona ikhefu lam yokugxeka akuzange kube yinto efunekayo xa ndingu 17 kwaye ngumbono omkhulu. Ukujonga emva kwandifumana iimpawu ze-porn-zenze i-ED (kunzima ukufumana ukulungiswa, ukukhawuleza ukujongwa) malunga ne-17 / 18 yeminyaka ubudala. Xa ndiqalise ukusebenzisa unzima kakhulu kwi-22 ubudala, kuthatha nje iinyanga ezimbalwa ukuphuhlisa i-ED epheleleyo.
Ndineminyaka engama-21 ubudala, kwaye ndiziva ngathi ndinento eninzi yokwenza yonke le minyaka imbalwa idlulileyo ubukhulu becala ingenamveliso. Ukuthi ndiza kuphelelwa lixesha ukuba ndizonwabisa nge-PMO ngokungathandekiyo yinto engaphantsi. Ndiba nje sisizathu esibuhlungu somntu. Iimvakalelo kakhulu, ukungazithembi, akukho nto icacileyo, awunakucinga ngqo. Kwaye ndenze ngokungathandabuzekiyo IMINYAKA iphila ngoluhlobo. Ngoku ndilawulwa, ndizinzile, ndigxile, ndithembele kakhulu, kwaye ndinengqondo ebukhali kakhulu. Kwaye ezi ziintsuku ezingama-22 kuphela. Xa ugcina amandla akho phezulu, ufumana loo ntando ingoyisiyo apho bekuya kuba ziindonga ezinkulu kwixesha lakho elidlulileyo zibe yimicango emide edolo kufuneka uwele nje.
Ndingumfana oneminyaka engama-20 ubudala kwaye NDIQaphele ukuba ndinomlutha woononophala. Ndiye ndatyeshela ubudlelwane obuninzi ngenxa yoku; Ndiye ndacaphuka msinya, ndigxeka kakhulu, ndineentloni kwaye andizithembi- uluhlu luyaqhubeka. Ndiyekile ukubukela iphonografi / ukuphulula amalungu esini kwihlobo elidlulileyo ngaphandle kokwazi ukuba ndinengxaki ezandleni zam (i-pun eyenzelweyo) kodwa INDODA ndaziva umahluko! Ndaye ndazi ngakumbi, ndonwabile, ndonwaba ngakumbi ekuhlaleni, ndinethemba kwaye ndizinzile. Amava am ayekukufuna into endinokuyichaza nje njengobudoda obunamandla kunye nokuzola kwangaphakathi; yayiyile nto kufanele ukuba ubomi bube yiyo. Bendihlala ndinobuqili kakhulu, ndiyaphuma, ndisebenza kakhulu kwaye ndiyila. Namhlanje (ngaphambi kokuba ndiyeke) andizithembanga, ndineentloni, ndifuna imvume, kwaye akukho ndawo ndizimeleyo ngokwasemphefumlweni.
Xa ndalinciphisayo inqanaba lokuqina kwento endandiyijonga (kwiimodeli zokudada), ii-erections zam zalahleka amandla e-LOT kwaye kwakudingeka ukuba 'ndiyibambe'. Kulapho ndabona khona ukuba ndinengxaki. Andizange ndiqaphele ukuba mna Ku funeka izinto eziphezulu ukugcina umzimba wam uvuyo.
Ndangena kwi-hardcore M, kwaye kwafika kwinqanaba lokuba ndilimaza amalungu am esini. Ndithe phithi luhlobo lwegazi M. Kufike kwinqanaba lokuba ndilahlekelwe ligazi elininzi ndaphantse ndaphela esibhedlele. Kwakungumnxeba osondeleyo. Emva koko bendihlala ndenza "ngesiqhelo" M. Kodwa ngoku ndinombulelo kuba ndifumene i-nofap kuba ndiyazi ukuba iyakundikhupha kwesi sihogo.
Ndibukele iphonografi iminyaka eyi-10, (ndingu 22) kwaye yandinika i-ED. Njalo xa ndifuna ukulala ngesithandwa sam, ndandingakwazi ukuyenza ... Ndenza i-masturbated imihla ngemihla nangona, ngezinye iintsuku nangamaxesha e-2. Kwakulula, ndaziva ndimnandi kwaye ubuncinci ndonwabile imizuzu embalwa, ndacinga.
Nguye:
- Abahlobo bam bebaleka. Ndayeka ii-hangouts ukuba ndihlale egumbini lam kwaye ndonwabe
- Intsapho yam indiyithandileyo, kodwa ayinandipha inkampani yam.
- Ndineengxaki ekugxinineni kum msebenzi kunye neeklasi zam eyunivesithi.
- Andizange ndibe nentombi.
- Ndandinomthwalo omkhulu wokuxhalabisa ngokubambisana kwabantu ngokubanzi.
- Ndasebenza ngokukhawuleza, kodwa akuzange kubonakale kuzuza nantoni na.
- Wonke umntu undixelele, ndacingwe ngqondweni. Ndade ndibambe inqaku elithile kum ividiyo kwaye ubona ingqalelo engenanto ebusweni bam. Akukho mntu wayesekhaya. Inkcazo ye-cadet yendawo.
- Hayi ENERGY, kungakhathaliseki ukuba ndilala ngaphi, AKHO. KUNYE. KUKONKE. Ndihlala ndikhathele. Izikhwama kwamehlo am, i-pale, i-acne, kunye ne-dehydrated.
- Ndandicinezelekile.
- Ndandinomlutha we-PMO.
- Ndine-PMO yenze i-ED.
- Ndandicinezelekile, ndaxhala, ndadideka, ndalahleka.
- Andizange ndiphile ubomi, kodwa ndandingafi. Ndandiyinto ye-zombie.https: //www.yourbrainonporn.com/100-days-ed-ressed--press-anxious-learningrgic-lack-focus-zombie
Akukholelwa ukuba yintoni le minyaka yokugqibela ye-10 ye-PMO eyenziweyo ebomini bam. Akukholwanga ngokupheleleyo. Ndandipha ukuxinezeleka, ukuxhalaba kweentlalo, nabahlobo be-0, ndalahleka intombi engummangaliso endikuloo minyaka engama-4, isikolo / umsebenzi, yonke into yayinjalo, kwaye kusekhona.
Kunyaka odluleyo ndibe neengxaki ze-ED. Ndiye ndandisa ukwanda kwe-intanethi ye-intanethi ngokuphawulekayo. Kwinqanaba apho ndinalo kulo lonke usuku, kwaye awanakho ukugcoba kakhulu. Ndiyayilinda nje ngoku. Ndiye ndatshitshiswa ngokupheleleyo kwisicatshulwa socansi kwaye ichaphazela ukunyaniseka kwam ebhinqa kunye nabasetyhini.
I-porn yamkelwe kuluntu lwethu, kangangokuba iyamangalisa hayi ukubukela iphonografi. Iye yanxulunyaniswa nobudoda kunye nokuza kweminyaka ukusukela oko yonke into eyindoda ethe yafikisa ngoku ibukele iphonografi. Mna ndicinga ukuba kungenxa yokwanda kwe-libido endibukele iphonografi kakhulu. Ngoku ndiyazi ukuba ndandingalunganga. Ndandinomlutha. Ubomi bam ekuhlaleni babuphithizela. Khange ndiye ngaphandle kwaye ngokuqinisekileyo bendingenalo unxibelelwano lwabasetyhini.
Ukuba ngaba unayo kufuneka ukhangele kumakhadi endala. Ndiyazi ukuba oku kuzwakala kumnandi kodwa ngelinye ilanga ndagqiba ekubeni ndihlole ezinye iibhokisi ezindala kubazali bam abaphantsi. Ndifumene amakhadi eengxelo ezahlukahlukeneyo kunye nabafundisi bee-evals phambi kokuba ndiqalise ukuhlaziya i-masturbating nangemva. Kwakukho umahluko ophawulekayo kwimbini yam yokusebenza (akukho nxeba ejoliswe kuyo) kunye nendlela ootitshala bam bavavanya ngayo. Iimfundo zam zicacile ngakumbi ngaphambi kokuba ndiqale ndiyihlasele ngamanye amaxesha ngosuku. Ewe, kunokuba yinto engathandekiyo kodwa kodwa ngokuqinisekileyo andicinga ukuba emva kokubona ukuba kuvelisa ngakumbi kwaye ndijolise kangakanani xa ndibeka ixesha elifutshane.
(Ubudala 18) Kwiiveki ezimbalwa ezidlulileyo, ndandikhululekile ngokwaneleyo ukuba ndixoxe ngayo yonke le nkqubo yokuqalisa kunye nabahlobo bam abasenyongweni. Ukuqala kwam ukubaxelela ukuba andikhange ndibhenele kwi-hardcore ye-X ngesixa seentsuku, imihlathi yabo yehlile ngokoqobo. Ndabaxelela malunga nezibonelelo, ukurhoxiswa, njl njl njl.Ndaye ndafumanisa, bonke i-4 (Bonke baneminyaka yam) babelikhoboka le-PMO. Bonke bavumile ukuba neentsuku ezimbalwa ngaphandle kwe-porn zazininzi kakhulu ukuba zingathwala. Ndothukile kuba ngekhe ndiqikelele ukuba abahlobo bam bajongana nengqushu ebendijongana nayo yonke le minyaka. Ngokufana nam, baqala besebancinci kwaye babukela iphonografi kaninzi ngeveki. Babengenalo nofifi lokuba babesenza ntoni na nge-porn. Ndithe kubo “Damn, akumangalisi ukuba sonke besingatshatanga kuyo yonke iminyaka yethu yamabanga aphakamileyo”. Ndimele nditsho ukuba esi sixa singenamda se-porn esifumanekayo sisisifo kwisizukulwana sethu samadoda.
Ukusetyenziswa kwe-porn kuphantse kwonakalisa umtshato wam wexesha elide kwaye ukuba umfazi wam ebengomelele njengaye, ibiya kuba njalo. Ndithethile namanye amadoda angama-4 malunga noononophala kwaye BONKE abane bavunyelwe kum ukuba basebenzise i-porn kwaye bafikelela kwinqanaba lokusebenzisa amayeza e-ED.
(Ubudala 19) Ndiyintombi. Kunyaka ophelileyo ndamanga intombazana yokuqala ebomini bam, ndazama ukulala naye kodwa ndahluleka ngenxa ye-ED. Oku kwakubuhlungu kakhulu kwaye kudideka, ngokukodwa kum-umntu ocinga ukuba ukuziphatha kwabo ngesondo kwakuphezulu kakhulu ngenxa yemifanekiso engamanyala. Ngeli xesha ndandidlwengula kwi-porn ubuncinane kabini ngosuku. Okungenani, amaxesha amaninzi. Ndandisebenzisa ukubamba ukufa kunye nejubane elikhawulezayo elinokwenzeka, ndaye ndandifaka i-penis elula. Uninzi lweentsuku ndiza kuncwina kangangokuba ekupheleni kosuku xa ndandicinga into engayi kuphuma nayo. Ukuhluleka ukulala ngesantombazana ndithumelele kwi-porno, ndiza kuvuka, ndigxeke, ndihlaziye i-masturbate yonke imini, ngoko busuku i-masturbate ndize ndilale. Amaxesha e-6 ngosuku okanye ngaphezulu, akukho ntloni. Khuselekile ukutsho ubomi bam buhlungu, yonke imiphumo emibi ye-PMOx 10. Ndazi ukuba i-pornography kunye nokuhlaziya iindlululo kwakuchaphazela kum kodwa ndandiphika, ukuhlaziya i-masturbation kukulungele kakuhle? Awukwazi ukuba ngumlutha wezobisi.
Nangona ndineziqendu zokuba ndonwabe ngakumbi malunga nokujonga iphonografi kunokuchitha ubusuku kunye nentombazana endithandana nayo, ndinombulelo omncinci kuba ndingenazo iingxaki ezibonakalayo ze-ED kwiimeko zesini sokwenyani. Ndiyicinga ukuba ngokuyinxalenye ngenxa yokulala kwam ngamaxesha amaninzi ngaphambi kokuba ndixhomekeke kwi-intanethi ye-intanethi. Ndinovelwano ngenene ngabafana abancinci abaqale kule nto kwasekuqaleni kokufikisa. Luhlobo lokudubula i-heroin ngaphambi kokuba ufumane ibhiya yakho yokuqala.
Ngoku, ndijonge abaphangi be-Miss Universe kwaye akukho mpendulo ye-hormonal. Ndiyakwazi ukubukela isigaba sonke sokubhukuda kwaye ndingayifumani. Ngokuqinisekileyo, ndiyazi ukuba aba bhinqa bahle kodwa ngaba ngamava anjalo. Njengomntu oneminyaka eyi-17 ubudala eli qaqhawula ukuphela kwam.
Eyona ngxaki yethu inkulu njengamadoda: Ndifuna ukuphulula amaphambili kodwa andifumani ndawo ilungileyo http://www.reddit.com/r/AdviceAnimals/comments/14mis7/our_biggest_problem_as_men/
Ndikwazi ukuhlaziya i-4-5 amaxesha ngosuku kwinqanaba lam. [Kodwa] ndivakalelwa zonke iziphumo ezibi eziye zabikwa: ukungabi nentshisekelo kwezinye izinto, ukukhathala, inkohlakalo yengqondo, kwakuyinkinga. Ndade ndandifundela ubuthongo apho baxhamla khona xa ulala ebhodini labo. Iimononi zeemvavanyo zegazi kunye noogqirha babengenayo inkcazelo ebangela ukuba iziphumo.
Emva kokufumanisa i-YBOP yewebhusayithi kunye nokuqonda ukuba ichaza njani isikhundla sam, ndaye ndanesibindi sokuthetha nomntwana wam oneminyaka eli-17 malunga neengozi ze-PMO. Wayebonakala ethatha yonke into endimxelele yona. Into endothusileyo ziziphumo azichaze kumaqabane akhe. Kwiingxoxo zabo omnye nomnye ngesondo kunye noononophelo wayekhe wakhankanya ukuba wayenephupha elimanzi kwiminyaka ethile eyadlulayo- bonke bahleka becinga ukuba kuyamangalisa! Undixelele ukuba aba bahlobo bahlala bejonga iphonografi kwaye babengazange babenalo iphupha elimanzi, nangona babeneminyaka engaphezulu kweshumi elinesithandathu ngelo xesha Oku kubonisa nje ukuba iphonografi iphazamisa njani ukukhula kwakho ngokwesondo. Omnye wabalingani bakhe ababesele balala ngesondo wathi wayekhetha i-porn ngokuthelekisa. Njengoko abanye beqaphele phambi kwam yonke le nto ngoku isenza umonakalo omkhulu phakathi kwamadoda ayo yonke iminyaka kwaye ifuna ukubonakaliswa okukhulu. Urhulumente wase-UK uthetha ngokucinezela ukufikelela kubantwana kwi-porn-ukuba bebeza kugqamisa iziphumo ebezingalindelekanga ezichazwe apha nakwezinye iindawo baya kuba netyala elinamandla ngakumbi.
Kungenxa yeso sizathu sokuba ndiyeke: Ndibalekele kwigumbi lokuhlambela (phakathi komdlalo wokudlala) ndikhuphe i-iPod yam kwaye ndibukele ividiyo ekhawulezayo ye-porn, ndayijija kancinci, ndavala ibhulukhwe yam ndaza ndabuyela kwiqabane lam kuba iyandithatha Kude kube kudala ukufumana ulwakhiwo ngaphandle kwe-porn.
Ndandisebenzisa iifilesi ukuba ndibalekele iimvakalelo ezimbi ezivela kwi-PIED kwi-13 kunye neengxaki zomchamo kunye neentlungu kwindawo yokuhluma ngenxa yobundlobongela be-pelvic obangelwa yimikhwa emibi yokuhlambalaza.
(Ubudala 22) Iimvakalelo zam: Ukugcoba i-masturbation usebenzisa i-pornography yonakalise umzimba wam emzimbeni nasengqondweni. Kwakuxa ndineminyaka eli-16 ubudala izangqa ezimnyama eziphantsi kwamehlo am zavela. Ndithetha ngale nto abantu bayibiza ngokuba “ngamehlo eraccoon” xa kukho isangqa esimnyama esicacileyo phantsi kwamehlo. Omabini amehlo am aneziphumo. Kwakukho nge-16 xa ndabona amandla am etshintsha nyhani. Ibihlala inamandla aphezulu kwaye ngoku ngequbuliso ingamandla aphantsi. Ingqondo yam yaba nenkungu yokuba ndiza kuzilibala izinto ezahlukeneyo. Ikhokele kum ihlala ithwele iphepha elincinci lepeni kunye nepeni epokothweni. Namhlanje, ndisenezangqa ezimnyama eziphantsi kwamehlo am, ngokunjalo: -ukudinwa kokudinwa.-Amandla xa ewonke asezantsi. -Intloko enenkungu evakalelwa kukuba ndiyakulibala ukuba ndenze ntoni. -Ukwazi nje ukuba ube nolwakhiwo ekuboneni iphonografi okanye iingcinga ezivela kuyo. -Ukungaphumeleli okwenyani kokulungiswa xa usabelana ngesondo. Ukususela xa ndilahlekelwe ubuntombi bam ukuya kumhla wamanje. -Ukusebenzisa i-orgasm yam "njengeyeza" eliza kundinceda ndilale ebusuku kuphela. Ukuba andiyenzi ngekhe ndilale ebhedini. -Ndiyibiza ngokuba yintloko ye-orgasm xa ndiphulula amalungu esini ukuba intloko eyomeleleyo iya kubakho entlokweni yam. Kukhokelela kwintloko yonke intloko evela kwi-orgasm yam. -Amaqhina esisu avela kwi-orgasm. Xa ndinayo i-orgasm ndiyakuva isisu sam siqinisa ukuya kuthi ga apho andifuni kutya kwintlungu.
Kwakuphela kuxa ndaye ndabona ukuba iphonografi yayilikhoboka elalicinga ngam kwaye ndaqonda "ndoda, i-PMO sisizathu sokuba ndiphume ebhedini rhoqo kusasa". Ukunika into enjalo akukho lula. Iphantse yahlekisa, kodwa kuya kufuneka uphinde ufunde indlela yokunxibelelana nabantu. Ndaziva ngathi andingomntu xa ndandifunda le nto kuba unxibelelwano ngabantu abangama-101. Abantwana abancinci bayayazi nendlela yokwenza ngayo. Ndaziva ngathi irobhothi enobukrelekrele bokuzenzela. Lilonke, kumava am, ukuyeka iicuba kwakungekho nto xa kuthelekiswa nomlutha we-porn, ii-cigs azivanga ngathi zilikhoboka. Yinto nje endiyenzileyo. I-ED iya kuyeka kungekudala okanye kamva. Ngelixa ndikhe ndaphinda ndabuya (nangona kungekho binges) ukuqala kwam kwakhona kuthatha unyaka wonke. Kutshanje nje ukuba ndinokuthi, ukuba ndibona inkqubela phambili yokwenyani nge-ED, kwaye ndinomnqweno wabasetyhini bokwenyani ngokuchasene ne-porn.
(Ubudala 25) Ukuthanda kwam iifoto zoononophala kwakuye kwavela kwizinto eziqhelekileyo zobungqingili ezinobungqingili, ukutshitshiswa kombane kunye nokudlwengulwa. Ndaphinda ndafumanisa ukuba ndiyifakela kuphela ngenxa yayo. Xa ndandidikiwe, xa ndivuka, ngaphambi kokuba ndilale, xa ndandisendlini yangasese-kwaye ukufikelela rhoqo kwi-porn kwifowuni yam akuncedanga.
Ukuba andikhathalelwanga kwi-porn, ndikufumanisa kulula ukuthetha nabanye abantu eofisini, ukuhlekisa ngeenxa zonke, ukuthetha nomphathi (kunye nabanye ababhinqileyo endisebenza nabo). Ukuba ndiye ndatyhafa kutsha nje ndiza kufuna ukufihla phantsi kwedesika yam kwaye ndiphephe ukunxibelelana nabantu ngamehlo. Ndizamile amatyeli ngamatyeli ukuziqinisekisa ukuba le yimpembelelo ye-placebo, kodwa iziphumo zinzima kakhulu ukuphikisana nazo.
Ngaphambi kokuba ndiqale ndaziva ngathi shit 24/7. Ndandinamandla amakhulu, kunye nenkuthazo. Ndandinengxaki yeyure yonke imihla. Khange nditye kakuhle. Khange ndenze mthambo. Khange ndifunde. Bendingakhathali ngococeko lomntu. Kwaye andinakukhathalela. Kwilizwe ebendikulo, bekunzima kakhulu ukuma ngaphezulu kwemizuzu emi-3, ndingasathethi ke ngokwenza into enemveliso.
[Iveki yesi-7] Xa ndandiphulula amalungu esini ngalo lonke ixesha, ndinempazamo yokuyibamba. Kungekudala, bendinqwenela ukuchukumisa kunye nokusondelelana. Umnqweno wayo awuzange ube namandla kwaye eneneni undenza ndidandatheke kwaye ndityhafise ukuba andifumani nto. Ngaphambi kokuyeka, ndandisoloko ndicinga ukuba olu luphawu lobuthathaka. Ndacinga, “ndingahamba ndedwa. Andifuni mntu. ”
Ndandinayo i-masturbating ukususela kwiminyaka eyi-15 kwaye ngoku ndiyi-20 iminyaka engama-5 embi. Andikhumbuli xa ndandingonwabanga. Kodwa oko kwakungekho njalo ngaphambili. Ndandihlala nabantu, ndiphumile kwaye ndinentloko eshushu. Kodwa ke ndiye ndaqala ukwenza zonke ezo zinto. Namhlanje andizithembi, ndinomsindo, ndidandathekile. mfiliba. Andikwazi nokuthetha okuqhelekileyo kumhlobo wam kunye nosapho kwakhona. Kwaye ekuqaleni bendicinga ukuba kulungile, kuba abantu abaninzi apha eRussia bagcinelwe ngaphandle ngoko ke bendifana nomntu wonke. Kodwa emva kweenyanga zonke yonke into yatshintsha. Andinantombi iqhelekileyo kuba bendisoyika, ndisoyika ukuthetha. Ndaba neentloni.
Ndiva iimpawu ezininzi ezahlukileyo, ukusuka kuxinzelelo kunye noxinzelelo lwasentlalweni, ukungazithembi, ukungakhathali ngokubanzi, ukuya koxinzelelo oluninzi, kodwa nangakumbi kukuphazamiseka ngokweemvakalelo endingakwaziyo ukukuchaza kuba, akukho nto konke konke. Kwisikolo samabanga aphakamileyo ndandiye ndizilolonge iiyure ngexesha elingene ebusuku, oko kukhokelela kukungalali. Oko kuchaphazele kakubi ukugxila kwam namandla esikolweni nakwezemidlalo. Ukucinga ngasemva ngoku, ekuphela kwento endandifuna ukuyenza yonke imihla kwaye ndandijonge phambili kuyo yayiyi-PMOing. Khange ndiyikhathalele into endiyenzayo mihla le, kwaye ndibukele into enokwenzeka ukuba ihambe ngendlela engathandekiyo ngenxa yobusuku obude, obunesithukuthezi bokoneliseka kwexesha elifutshane kwikhompyuter. Nge-19, ndandinokungasebenzi kakuhle kwe-erectile kwaye andinakukufumana xa intombazana yandimema ukuba ndilale naye. Kutshanje ibiyiparaoia; xa ndikunye nabahlobo bam ndiziva ngathi yonke into iyandihlekisa, ukuba bathetha kakubi emva kwam, bacinga ukuba ndiyaphambana, njalo njalo.
(Enye) inzuzo engalindelekanga yokuyeka i-masturbation: Indawo ebomvu yesigodlo edideni yam ekufeni efile iqalise ukuphela.
Xa ndandisengumntwana ndiyakhumbula ukuba ndiphume kakhulu ndinomdla omkhulu. Yonke into yatshintsha xa ndandineminyaka eyi-14 Ngoku ukuba ndicinga ngayo, lixesha elifanayo endandiqala ngalo ukuba likhoboka le-intanethi. Ndinecomputer yam egumbini lam. Ndiza kuchitha impelaveki yam yonke ngokuhlwa ndibukele iphonografi, amaxesha amaninzi ndade ndayeka nokulala. Oku kuqhubekile kubomi bam bokuba ngumdala kwaye ngoku ndineminyaka eyi-25. Ndixinezelekile kukungonwabi kwezentlalo, kunye nokusilela kwesizathu. Andizange ndizidibanise ezi zinto kunye. Nam, andizange ndazi ngokwenene ukuba ndingumlutha kangakanani de ndizame ukuyeka. Ndabona ukuba ndingavuswa kuphela ngoononophala.
Ndingumfana oneminyaka engama-20 ubudala. Ubukele iphonografi kule minyaka idlulileyo ye-2-3. Ndifuna ngamandla ukuyeka. Ndiqondile. Kodwa ndiye ndacima kakhulu. Oku kubangele ukuba ndiphelelwe ngumdla kubo bonke abantu basetyhini. Nokuba izigcawu ze-gangbang ziye zadika (akukho zilungiso). Ngenye imini ndandikunye nomhlobo (umfana). Ndifumene le ngcinga, yokuba, amantombazana awasandiguquli, NGABA NDIKHONA UKUGUQULA UGAYI ??? !!! Andinanto ngokuchasene nabantu abathandana nabantu abathandanayo, ingqondo. Ukusukela ngoko khange ndiphumle mzuzwana. Ndiqondile …… ndinamantombazana amaninzi atyumkileyo ebomini bam. Ngaba wayenentombi ezi-2. Kodwa oku kuyamangalisa kwaye kuyaphazamisa… ukuziva ufuna ukuzibulala.
Umlutha wam waqala xa ndandineminyaka elishumi elinesihlanu (ngoku ndineminyaka engamashumi amabini anesibini), kwaye ndatshintsha ngokuqatha kule minyaka idlulileyo. Kule minyaka imbalwa idlulileyo bendinomkhwa malunga namaxesha ama-4-5 ngeveki. Ndingumzekelo wencwadi yazo zonke iimpawu eziqhelekileyo zokulutha kwe-PMO. Uxinzelelo olugqithisileyo lwasentlalweni, uxinzelelo, ukungabikho kwento ekude efana nokugxila okanye ukukhuthaza, ukuphazamiseka ngokweemvakalelo kunye nokurhoxa ngokubanzi ebomini.
Umatshini obonisa indlela endiphulula ngayo amalungu esini ngokuhamba kwexesha. Ndandibamba nzima kakhulu kwaye imivimbo endandiyisebenzisa yayinamandla kakhulu. Kwakungafani nokuqala, kutheni le nto yaphela injalo emva kweminyaka eyi-10 yokuphulula amaphambili? Mhlawumbi ngenxa yokusebenzisa iphonografi. Ithiyori yam kukuba njengoko isiphelo kunye nokuqaqadeka kwe-porn oyisebenzisayo inyuka, uyifumana ngokuthe ngcembe kunzima ukuyivula. Ukuze ubuyekeze oku, ngokuthe ngcembe ngokuhamba kwexesha uya kuyo kancinci kancinci kwaye kunzima. Ukuqinisa oko kubambelela kunye nokuba namandla ngakumbi.
Iziphumo ebezingalindelekanga ziqale zadada… Intlungu esezantsi yomqolo, ukudumba kwezihlunu, ukudinwa, ukuba nochuku, ukungasebenzi kakuhle kwenkqubo yemithambo-luvo (ukudinwa), ukungakwazi ukwenza ingqiqo, ukukhumbula ngentloko ngokufanelekileyo, ukufunda. (Ndikwisikolo samazinyo.)
Ukutshiza kunditshitshisa amandla, ubomi bemihla ngemihla buyadinisa. Iiveki ezimbalwa kwiNoFap kwaye ndizele NGOBOMI, ndiphakamisa i-6 am, ndisiya esikolweni kwaye ndigcine imveliso yonke imini.
(Ibali lomsebenzisi ofunyenweyo) Kwiinyanga ezimbalwa ezidlulileyo inkampani ihambise iifowuni ezintsha zokuzulazula kubasebenzi abangenayo. Yayingumcimbi nje wexesha ngaphambi kokuba umntu endandisebenza naye ongafundanga ukuba nekhompyuter afumanise umhlaba wobugqwetha. Ngenye imini wayeqhuba ngemoto kwinkampani yenkampani kwaye ephulula amalungu esini kuhola wendlela KANYE nomnye umntu asebenza naye emotweni. Ngelo xesha ke uyazi ukuba uneengxaki. Ubomi be-porn sele butshabalalisa ubudlelwane bakhe nenkosikazi yakhe. Wayekumdlalo wokukhala kunye naye emnxebeni kwindawo yokusebenza, ethetha ngokumgxotha endlini yabo. Omnye umntu endisebenza naye wangena ngaphakathi wathi "hamba naye uze naye ekhaya uze uncamathisele kuye ezimpundwini zakhe" (uxolo ngamagama acace gca.) Umntu endisebenza naye uphendula ngo… ”Andifuni. Ndidikiwe nguye. Kungcono ndiye ekhaya ndize ndiyeke ukubukela iphonografi. ” Waye 100% enzulu xa wayesenza loo ngxelo, uyayibona ebusweni.
Ndingumntu oqhelekileyo / okhangeleka kakuhle, kodwa njalo kodwa kwiminyaka embalwa edlulileyo kuye kwaba yinto encinci / inkuthazo encinci kwaye kubonakala ngathi ndihlala ndidiniwe, ndifuna i-naps, njl njl, ndikonwabele ukuba ndedwa, mhlawumbi ndiphantsi , khange uzame amantombazana akhangeleka kakuhle. Ukusetyenziswa kwam i-porn kwanda. Ndingahlala ndivuka w / P, kodwa xa ndidityaniswe kumantombazana okwenene yayingumbhalo wedayisi. Ayisiyondlela yokuphila ubomi bethu.
Ndandinomlutha kakhulu kwi-5 kunye neminyaka. ZERO ngesondo, ndiza kugxotha kwaye ndinxila yonke imihla ngemihla de iphoyinti lam dick liluhlaza. Ngethuba le minyaka ye-5 ye-PMO ibingela amathuba ambalwa ndiwafumana ukuba ndilale emantombazaneni. Kwakuyixeka emva kokuxoxwa ,,, Im ingakulungele .. Ndikhathele, sinokulinda kuze kube sekuseni. Kwakuyi-BRUTAL. (Funda malunga Ukubuyisela.)
Ndichitha iiyure ezi-3 okanye ezi-4 yonke imihla "ndizama ukufumana le ntombazana ilandelayo ilungileyo" kwaye ndiyiphunga nati kanye kanye phantse yonke imihla. Ndaqala ukudinwa ngalo lonke ixesha, ubuso bam buba luthuthu, ezi zangqa zimnyama zazisenziwa phantsi kwamehlo am rhoqo, ndandilele iiyure ezili-10 ngemini kwaye NDIYAVUKA ndidiniwe, NDAYE ndaqala ukukhupha izihlunu kunye neenwele ngaphandle. ishawa. Ndikhumbula amantombazana am amadala endandihlala ndidibana nawo aya kudibana nam ebharini okanye enye into kwaye baya kuhlala benolu hlobo lothusayo ebusweni babo. "OMG nguye lowo ????" Abanye abahlobo bam kunye nosapho baphinde bathetha ngendlela endibhityileyo ngayo kwaye kufuneka "nditye ngaphezulu"… into ehlekisayo yayikukuba, ndandingumakhi womzimba, ndasuka kwi-220 ukuya kwi-180, akukho nto, nangona ndenza umthambo kwaye nditya ukutya okuninzi ukutya kunye neekhalori ezingaphezulu. Ndandihlala ndingento yanto. Ndiqale ukufumana lonke olu loyiko lungaqhelekanga lwabantu. Ndaziva ndingcangcazela kwaye ndibuthathaka. Ilizwi lam lilize, ukuba iyavakala. Ndilahlekile. Ndandixinezelekile rhoqo. Ndayeka ukushiya indlu yam .. abahlobo bam baphela kancinci. Ke ngoku ndibhinqileyo kwaye ndinolusu oluntswitshi ekuhlaleni olumdaka ngebala, lol, apho bendikade ndingukumkani wekhampasi yam… wtf! Ndiqinisekile, ngamava angenakuphikiswa ukuba le shit yoyikekayo iyinto engekho mthethweni kwaye ikhupha UMPHEFUMLO womntu. Anditshintshanga NONYE OKWENZEKA KWIMPILO YAM ngaphandle kokufumana umlutha woonografi kunye nokuhamba rhoqo. Yiyo leyo. Ndisacinga ngokuqinisekileyo, ndisiya kwimivalo, ndisitya impilo, ndisebenzisa, yonke loo jazz. Ekuphela kwento eyandileyo yayikukuthandana kwam kunye namantombazana angeyonyani kwiscreen sepikseli. Ndiziva ngokungathi andinakukwazi ukugxila okanye ukuqonda okuninzi emva kokuzinkcinkca ngotywala, ngezinye iintsuku ndilele ebhedini kuba amehlo am amabi kakhulu….
Ukuxhatshazwa kwimiba yezononongo kubangele ukungabikho kokulala, ukuxineka emsebenzini, ukuchitha imali eninzi, ukungabikho kokuvuswa ngexesha lesondo nomfazi wam, kunye nesimo sengqondo esithi "andiyiyo ihlabathi". Kwakukho amaxesha amaninzi ndaziva ndedwa, kuba andinakukwazi ukuthetha nabantu malunga nokuba yiyiphi inxalenye enkulu yobomi bam.
Elona candelo libi malunga nokuzama ukuthatha intombazana ngelixa 'ukwimifanekiso engamanyala'. Kwelinye icala bendisoloko ndibonakala ngathi ndinempondo okanye ndijonge abantu basetyhini nje ngeesile labo, iboobs, njl.njl ngakwelinye icala ndilindele ukuba abantu basetyhini benze njengabo bakwimeko ye-porn (ukuba ungabiza loo nto!), ke xa bengakhange babonakalise inqanaba elinomdla elingenamdla emva koko andizange ndenze umdlalo. Okubi kunakho konke nangona kunjalo kukuba ndinokuzikhathaza malunga nokupheliswa ngokwesondo kwaye ndingakwazi ukwenza emva kokujonga iphonografi. Oko kukodwa kumise amathuba amaninzi.
Elona nqaku lam liphantsi xa ndaye ndalahleka kwidiploma yam yasekhemesti ndaza ndalahlekelwa yintombi yam kwangolo suku lunye, ngenxa yamanyala nokuzilazila. Ndandihambile ndisiya ngqo kwi-porn ye-gay kodwa ngenye imini ndazifumana ndilele ebhedini, ndaye ndancanciswa yindoda kwaye ndingayifumani. Kwaye uyazi ukuba yintoni eyona nto imbi kakhulu? Ndibukele iphonografi kwifowuni yakhe kwaye ndifunxwa ngaxeshanye kwaye andinakukwazi ukuyifumana. Ndashiya abafana kunye "nobungqingili" bam apho kwaye kwaye andizange ndijonge emva.
Umsebenzi wam kwakukutshaya umthamo, ufike phezulu kwaye uphume. Ndiya kufaka kakhulu kwindawo apho kungabikho nto eya kuphuma, isikhumba kwi-dick yam siya kuba yinto eluhlaza kwaye ihlaselwe. Ndandithiyile indawo zoluntu. Andizange ndibonane nabantu, ndihlala ndijonge phantsi, kwaye ndandicinezelekile. Kwaye ukuwela esitratweni kuya kundenza ndibe nexhala ngenxa yokuba ndicinga ukuba bonke abaqhubi bebukele kwaye becinga ukuba ndibuhlungu kangakanani. Iposi yangaphambili
Ndiziva ngathi ndohlukile kubo bonke abantu, kwaye ngenxa yoko ndisela utywala kakhulu ngethemba lokuvela ndizithembile… Khange isebenze i-LOL. Into kukuba, bendihlala ndizithembile kwaye ndithandwa. Ndide ndafumana ingcebiso malunga nokusombulula i-ED yam, ukungazithembi kunye noxinzelelo lwasentlalweni njlnjl .. kodwa zange kwabakho mbuzo ubuzwayo malunga nokusetyenziswa kwe-porn. Ukuba bekuceliwe, ngendikucwangcisile oku umzuzwana odlulileyo. Nangona ujonge phambili kuyacaca ngokucacileyo ukuba yayikukusetyenziswa kwe-porn okuyimbangela. Kodwa ukuba ingcali ayizukubuyisela umva ukuzingela kwakho, kwaye isizukulwana sethu sikhuliswa sikholelwa ukuba u-P no-M baqhelekile kwaye bayimfuneko, ndingazi njani? Doh!
Kwinqanaba lomkhwa wam PMO, i-orgasm yayeka ukuzivakalelwa. Kwakuyindlela nje yokuzikhusela.
Ndihlala ndiphosa amaphupha, ngamanye amaxesha kunzima kakhulu ngamaxesha amnandi, kodwa NGOKUBA kunjalo, yonke imihla yobomi bam. Nje iintsuku ezimbalwa ukuya eNofap Ndiyaqonda ukuba amaphupha am ne-100% aphilileyo kwaye ndivuka ndivuyiswe kwaye ndiqhutywa ngamandla. Oku kum isicatshulwa esicacileyo sokuba i-NOFAP isebenza ukususela ngoku kubonakala ukuba utshintsho olungcono kunye nesicatshulwa sam. Tldr; Azikho iibhuzo zobomi, iinjongo ezonwabileyo kuphela ukusuka kuNoFap.
Ndiqale ukujonga iphonografi ngo-11-12 ndaza ndalahla ubuntombi bam nge-22. Intombazana kwafuneka indinyanzele ukuba ndize. Ipeni yam yayindindisholo ngokupheleleyo kwilungu lobufazi. Ndiza kuba nzima ngexesha langaphambili, kodwa andinakabelana ngesondo ngaphezulu kwemizuzu embalwa ngaphandle kokuthamba.
Namhlanje, ndinentombi enothando kwaye siye sabelana ngesondo kakhulu. Kodwa ndisenengxaki ngokutya. Andenzi cum xa ndifuna. Ngaba uninzi lwe-anal, kwaye loo nto yanceda kuba yenye yezona ntwana zinkulu ndiziphulula amalungu esini. Kodwa ndifuna ukulala ngesondo kwisini; yaziva izaliseka ngakumbi.
Ndiye ndenza okubi ngakumbi nangakumbi okoko ndaqala lo mkhwa. Impilo yam yehlile. Ndigula phantse lonke ixesha. Ndihlala ndidiniwe. Izinto endandizithanda kakhulu azisenangxaki nam. Andikwazi ukuthanda nantoni na. Andinangqondo kukhuphiswano. Umzimba wam uphukile kwaye ubuthathaka. Ulusu lwam lunyanga ngonaphakade. I-Porn / i-masturbation ibonakalisile ubomi bam kwaye andiyikunqwenela le nto intshaba yam enkulu. Andifuni ukuphulukana nentombi endithandana nayo kodwa akafanelekanga ukuba nesoka elithandekayo elingamkholisiyo ngokwengqondo okanye ngokwasemzimbeni.
Ndiziva ndindindisholo ngokweemvakalelo iminyaka ngoku ndiziva ngathi ndilahlekile. Andazi ukuba ndiziva njani ngezinto, akukho nto indonwabisa / indonwabisile. Ngamanye amaxesha xa ndithetha andazi nokuba avela phi la magama, kufana nokuba kukho isinciphiso solwazi olusengqiqweni oluphuma ngomlomo wam ekubonakala ukuba andivani kwaphela. Ndiziva ngathi ndihamba nje ebomini iminyaka. Ndivakalelwa kukuba wonke umntu 'uyayifumana' kwaye ndiyaqala ukufunda [ngoku sendiyiyekile.] Uninzi lwabantu aluyiqondi ncam i-gravitas yokusetyenziswa gwenxa kwe-porn kunye nokuba ingabuncancisa njani ubomi wena.
Ubunzima bebongo, ukukhathala, umnqweno wokuzihlukanisa, kunye nokuxhalaba kweentlalo zizinye zezimpawu zam.
I-PMO yanginika:
- Ukungabi namandla - jonga
- Amabala - jonga
- Amehlo amdaka - jonga
- Ukuphulukana nenkumbulo - jonga
- Ukungabikho kwe-libido-jonga
- Umnqweno ongaqhelekanga-jonga
- Intloko - jonga
- Ngakumbi ngakumbi ..
Xa ndiphuma ndiziva ndinomnqweno wokulala ngesondo nabasetyhini, endingazange ndenze ngaphambili. Ndiza kubona intombazana kwaye ndiyazi ukuba ndinomdla kuye, kodwa andizukuziva ndinomdla wokulala naye. Kwakunjengokuba ingqondo yam yayicinga ukuba, nangona le ntombazana yayinomdla inokufumana ngcono kwaye ivuselele ngakumbi ngoononophala. Ngoku ndizifumana ndizama ngenkuthalo, kwaye ndiphumelele, ngokuhlangana namantombazana kumatheko. Iziva indalo ngakumbi kwaye imnandi kunangaphambili.
Ndifumana xa ndiyeka ixesha elide, akukho mfuneko yokuba ndichame rhoqo. Kwaba kubi kakhulu ngexesha lam umlutha, bendisebenzisa indlu yangasese kakhulu! Kananjalo, bendihlala ndinexhala lokuba abahlobo bam bazobe bethetha ngam ngasemva kakhulu, kuye kwafika ixesha lokuba ndijongane nomhlobo wam osenyongweni ngayo kwaye ndimbuze ukuba abanye abahlobo bethu bake bathetha into embi ngam, kwavela Abazange, ngaphandle kokucinga ukuba ndicinga ukuba ndiyindoda ehloniphekileyo, ngoko ke ukuqonda kwam oko abantu bathethayo / bacinga ukuba kuphazamiseka xa ndikwi-PMO binge.
[Kuthunyelwe kwiforum "yokuzenza umntu") Ndibe ne-DP iminyaka eyi-1.5, nangona kunjalo i-DP yam sele ifumene ngcono kangangeenyanga ezi-3 ezidlulileyo. Ndikumalunga ne-65% ndibuyela esiqhelweni Ndabona ukuba xa ndiphuhlisa i-DP, ukusetyenziswa kwam i-porn kwandise kancinci. Ndandiqalile ukubukela iphonografi yonke imihla okanye yonke imihla, kwaye bendijonge izinto ezigabadeleyo. Kwimeko yenkungu yengqondo, ndandingazi kwanto ebomini bam. Yonke into ibiziva ngathi liphupha ngoko ke khange ndiyiqaphele le patheni. Ndifunde okuthile malunga nokusetyenziswa gwenxa kwe-porn kunxulunyaniswa noxinzelelo lwentlalo kunye noxinzelelo. Ndagqiba kwelokuba ingumbono olungileyo ukuba ndiyeke.Okokuqala bendihlala malunga neeveki ezi-3 emva koko ndanqunqa, ndibuyele kakhulu kuzo zombini (kuye kwafuneka ndenze ixesha elilahlekileyo: P). Kodwa ndiqaphele into ngezo veki zintathu. Nangona bendikufumanisa kunzima ukunxibelelana nabantu, ixhala lam ekuhlaleni belinciphile NGOKUQHELEKILEYO. Ndingathetha nabantu ngaphandle kwengxaki kwaye bendonwabile ngobomi. Ndikhumbula umntakwethu endixelela into endihlekisileyo kangangeminyaka, kwaye ndaziva ndingakholeki ukuziva ngenene phakathi kweDP. Ukuba uqaphele ukuba ubukele iphonografi okoko ufumene i-DP, ndiyaqonda. Ndayibukela kuba yayiyenye yeendlela ezimbalwa zolonwabo ezazisafumaneka kum kuloo meko yengqondo. Iphonografi inendlela yokwenza ukuba uphinde uphinde ube noxinzelelo ngakumbi ukuba uyisebenzisa rhoqo. Nge-DP obu bubusuku. Ngoku ndiphulula amalungu esini ngaphandle kwe-porn. Ndiziva ngcono kakhulu ngam kwaye uninzi lwexhala lam liyandishiya. Zama, hamba iiveki ze-3 ngaphandle koononophala uze ubone indlela oziva ngayo. Ukuba ayikwenzi uzive ungcono ke uya kubaleka.
Ndinexhala ekuhlaleni. Ndiyazi ukuba kunxulumene noononophala, njengeminyaka embalwa emva ndandinabantu abaninzi kunam ngoku, kwaye ndandonwabile kakhulu, ndihlekisa. Ngelo xesha ndandingasebenzisi i-porn kwaphela.
Ndisebenzise i-porn ngaphezulu kweshumi leminyaka, kodwa ukusukela oko kwavela iimpawu ezingaqhelekanga (ngaphezulu konyaka ophelileyo) bendizibuza ukuba ingaba umzimba wawenzelwe ukuba ujonge yonke imihla, ndicinga ngookhokho bam ababengenazibonelelo zokulawula ukuzalwa kwaye mhlawumbi Khange ajonge phantse rhoqo. Ndingu-25 ngoku, kodwa xa ndandimncinci kancinci kubahlobo bam kwaye ndingathetha ngezinto ezinje ngokuvulekileyo kwaye sonke senza i-masturbated mhlawumbi yonke imihla. Ndiziphulula amalungu esini i-2-4 ngamaxesha nge-intanethi, ukusukela xa ndandineminyaka elishumi elinambini ukuya kwamashumi amabini anesibini. Emva koko, ndazinza malunga nokuba kanye ngemini, kunjalo nge-intanethi ye-intanethi. Ngapha koko, iimpawu eziqale ukubonakala ngaphezulu konyaka ophelileyo zezi: iintloko ezingaqhelekanga, ilizwi elinzulu kakhulu kwaye liphantse laqina, ndiziva ndomile ngaphakathi kwamehlo kwaye ndiziva ndomile ebusweni ngokubanzi. Ekuseni, ndandiziva imvakalelo engathandekiyo emzimbeni wam wonke. Khange ndikwazi ukugxila kwizifundo zam ixesha elide kunemizuzu engama-40 ngaphambi kokufumana imvakalelo efanayo emzimbeni wam, endenze ndalala esofeni kwaye ndalala kancinci iyure enye. Ndaphambana. Ndacinga ukuba ndinesifo seswekile (iswekile esezantsi yegazi), umbono ombi (ndaye ndawuvavanya umbono wam owawugqibelele) ndade ndacinga ukuba ndine-ADD okanye i-ADHD, kuba ndingangxama amaxesha ngamaxesha. Ukongeza koku, bendiziva ndingakhuselekanga kwiintlanganiso zentlalo kwaye ndingaziva ndikhuselekile kwaye ndikhululekile xa ndiphakathi kwabantu ngokubanzi. Ndandiba ngathi ndingumntwana ngamanye amaxesha. Ukunyanzelwa, ukungazinzi njalo njalo. Ndingaziva nokuba isibheno sam sesini sasisezantsi zero. Kodwa akukho nto ndinokuyenza ngayo! Ndizamile izinto ezininzi njengokucamngca, iyoga, ngaphandle kwecaffeine ekudleni kwam, ukuzilolonga kakhulu njalo njalo. Akukho nto incedileyo. Andizange ndazi ukuba zonke ezi mpawu zivela kukungalingani kwemichiza kwingqondo yam ngenxa yokuphulula amalungu esini iphonografi. Kodwa emva kokuphanda ndaqala ukunciphisa ukusetyenziswa kwam iphonografi kunye nokuhambisa amalungu esini, ndatyibilika ndaza ndaqhubeka, ndaphinda ndatyibilika, ndaziva ndikhathazekile kwaye ndibhotile, ndaqhubeka ngakumbi ndaziva ndonwabile ngayo, ndatyibilika ndaziva ndonwabile ngayo kwakhona njalo njalo. Ekugqibeleni, emva kokuhamba malunga neeveki ezimbini ngaphandle koononophala okanye ukuhlaziya i-masturbation ndandiziva ndikhulu kakhulu. Zonke iimpawu ezidweliswe apha ngasentla bezimkile kwaye ndaziva ndizolile kwaye ndonwabile ekuhlaleni. Ndithethile ndiqinile, ndizinzile kwaye ndizolile. Ndiye ndahleka ndancuma nobuso bam bonke. Ndandinomtsalane kwaye ndandidlala ngothando. Imvakalelo yokungabikho kwesibheno sesondo yayihambile kwaye ndaye ndabona ukuphendula okungcono kunye nokuphendula kwabantu abandingqongileyo. Ndibe nokunxibelelana okungcono nabahlobo bam, usapho, abantu endisebenza nabo kwaye kunjalo namantombazana. Ekugqibeleni ndayazi indlela okuziva ngayo ukuba nengqondo elungeleleneyo.
Ndiyindoda eneminyaka engama-21 ubudala oye wahlaziya i-pornography ukususela kwiminyaka eyi-11. Kwiminyaka embalwa edlulileyo yobomi bam, ndandiziva ngathi ndihlala ndihlala ndihlala ndiphazamisekile engqondweni, kwaye ndihlupheke ngenxa ukungakwazi ukugxila. Andizange ndibe nomnqweno wokufuna ubudlelwane obusondeleyo kunye nabasetyhini, kwaye ndifumene ukunambitheka kwam kwi-porn ngokukhawuleza kuhamba ngokubhekiselele kwi-pornography> <into endiyaziyo ayihambelani neminqweno yam yemvelo.
Ukujonga kunye nokuhlambalaza i-pornography kwiminyaka eyi-6 edlulileyo, kwaye yajika yaba ngumlutha kwiminyaka emithathu edlulileyo. Ukuqala isikolo sokuthweswa isidanga kunyaka ophelileyo… kundoyisile ngokupheleleyo. Ukongeza ekusweleni kwimisebenzi elula "yabantu abadala", ubomi bam kwizifundo babuyingxaki. Kuya kufuneka ndifunde into iphindaphindwe ukuze ndiyiqonde. Ndinexesha elibi lokugcina incoko kunye noogxa bam. Ukuncokola ngokubanzi kwakunzima kwaye kwakungavakali ngokwendalo. Ndihlala ndingakwazi ukucinga ngokuchanekileyo ngelixa ndifundisa ezantsi. Zange ndibukhali, zange ndaziva "mna". Kwaye ulibale malunga nokunxulumene nabasetyhini. Ndiyifumene yonke le nto ididayo. Ngaba ndinethumba ebuchotsheni? Ngaba le mizabalazo yile nto yenzekayo kwinqanaba lokuqala lomsebenzi wokufunda, okanye xa ufunda ukuzimela? Khandiyazi. Ndizamile yonke into ukuyinceda –ukuzilolonga, ukutshintsha indlela otya ngayo, izinto ezongezwayo. Ezinye zazo zanceda, kodwa ingxaki yayisekho. Emva koko, malunga nenyanga edlulileyo, ndabona le ndawo. Yonke yayisengqiqweni. Emva kokufunda ulwazi kunye nobungqina, andinakukunceda kodwa ndigqibe kwelokuba eyona nto ebomini bam ebendingakhange ndicinge ukuyihlola-ukuphulula amalungu esini amaxesha amaninzi ngemini- yayisisizathu sako konke. Ndonwabile, ndaya kwiintsuku ze-9 ngaphandle kwe-PMO. Ndiziva ndikhulu. Umhlaba waba nombala kwakhona. Ndandicinga ngokucacileyo. Imemori yam iphuculwe. Ukubhala kwam ngesandla kuphuculwe (!). Ndifuna ukuba phakathi kwabanye, ukunxibelelana nabanye, okokuqala kwiminyaka. Ndandifuna ngokungazenzisiyo kwi-HUG (kwaye ndigone kuphela) intombazana- umnqweno endandingazange ndawufumana ngokupheleleyo ukusukela kwisikolo samabanga aphakamileyo. Emva koko, ndafika i-cocky, ndajonga inkunkuma (ndicinga ukuba ayizukundichaphazela), ndaye ndagqiba ukwenza isenzo (isimanga, isimanga). Emva kokunikezela ngokukhawuleza kwi-PMO kwiveki ezayo, kwacaca ukuba ukubetha le nto kuya kufuna utshintsho olunzulu kwindlela yokuphila.
Ukuba ndibona umfanekiso we-intombi yam, ndifumanisa ngakumbi emva koko ndimbona ndamntu.
Ndineminyaka engama-23. Usapho lwam lwalundixelele kumaxesha amaninzi ukuba ndiyigobolondo ngokwam xa kuthelekiswa naxa ndandineminyaka eyi-18 (ngendlela enothando. Kwakufuneka ndiyive emva kwayo yonke loo nto.) Kwaye, abahlobo bam, babengekho t ngqo nam, kodwa kwacaca. Ndandingasondeli emntwini omnye. Ukusukela ngo-2008, ndaye ndanexhala lokuphela koxinzelelo lwasentlalweni, ukudakumba, ukungabikho kokuqhuba, ukudinwa ngokwasemzimbeni, ukudinwa engqondweni, ukungabinamsebenzi, ndingakwazi nokuhla ndiye kwiiholo zaseyunivesithi ndingoyiki kufa abantu, ndiziva ndoyikeka xa ndibona abantu ababhinqileyo omncinci ukuya komdala njl.njl.Izinto ezithile: -kuya kufuneka ukuba ugqibe isiqingatha seyure ukuze ube nzima kwaye ulwakhiwo lwam luya kubaleka ukuba ndijonga kude kwiscreen sekhompyuter ngaphezulu kwemizuzwana emi-5-ekugqibeleni ndingene kwizinto ezigabadeleyo. gangbang, dick enkulu, erhabaxa, ngamanye amaxesha nokuba gadalala. (kodwa ngombulelo awuzange uphinde ube ngumntwana, mdala, ungqingili) -Ubuntwana bam obukhulu yayingu-cum. Ndiyifumana iyinto ehlekisayo, kuba kuyacaca ukuba ndiye ndaya kubona abanye cum eyinto ebendingazukuyenza, yiyo loo nto ndikuthandile ukuyibukela-nto leyo eye yehlisa amathuba wam okwazi ukwenza ngokwam. Ngaba ndingade ndiyenze into yam iluhlaza kwaye ingenabomi-ilunge kakhulu e-M'ing kangangokuba bendinokuhlala nokuba i-dick yam ibishwabene (kuxolelwe izinto ezithile)
Xa mna ndandingqongqo kule nto, ndandithathela ingqalelo kwimpembelelo yoononophala. Ndacinga ukuba kwakususwa nje kukuthi 20% yobomi bam. Kodwa kungekudala ndaqonda ukuba yayisondele kwi-99%. Kuyingozi kakhulu.
(Ubudala be-37) Ayindim nje kuphela endinamava e-ED ukusuka ekubekweni ngelixa ndibukele i-intanethi ye-intanethi / ikhebula le-TV kwi-20s yam, kodwa ndikwafumene imicimbi ye-dopamine ngokufuna ngakumbi kwaye ndiyithatha kwinqanaba elilandelayo. Andikaze ndityhalelwe ngumfazi wam ngenxa ye-intanethi. Ndiyathemba ukuba oku kuyakutshintsha ngenye imini. Nalu uluhlu lwemiba yomzimba endikhe ndanayo kwiminyaka edlulileyo ngokusekwe kwisikhundla sam esigqithisileyo endisithathayo xa ndibukele iphonografi ye-intanethi (sisimo esinqabileyo esifana ne-squat): ED ngaphandle koononophala, ukutshisa iintlungu zokuchama, ukuhamba komchamo kabini, iintlungu zangasemva , iintlungu zesithupha, ukopha okwethumbu, ukungalingani kwemisindo yemisipha, ukuma kakubi, ipenisi eluhlaza / ukutshiza / ulusu olomileyo, kunye nokuqaqanjelwa kukungabukeli. Imiba yengqondo: I-HOCD (iqale nge-shemales), umlutha, uxinzelelo, unxunguphalo, ityala, ukungazonwabisi, ubomi obumbaxa, ukuthandana nemifanekiso, ukwenza ukuthanda kwakho ebomini bokwenyani (eyona nto ndiyenzileyo). Imiba yezomthetho: Awunakungena apha, kodwa ibisemngciphekweni xa usenza umdlalo.
Nge-intanethi ekhawulezayo bendihlala ndikhangela "ikliphu elungileyo": I-transexourse, ii-hermaphrodites, ii-swat swinger, nokuba zi-gay. Khange ndiyiqaphele into endiyenzayo kwingqondo yam. Khange ndiqaphele ukuba bendifaka i-willy yam kakhulu kwaye ndisebenzisa ukufa.
Ndiyithandile imbono yokuthandana nomntu kodwa andinokwazi ukuyidibanisa nesondo… isondo yinto eyenziweyo kwizikrini ze-tv… kwii-vids nakwiziqwengana zesibini ezingama-30 eniza kuzidibanisa. Ukwabelana ngesondo nothando kwahlukile entlokweni yam… andizange nje ndiyazi. I-Porn yandifundisa oku. Iphonografi iyomeleza phantse iminyaka esixhenxe yokubukela iividiyo amatyeli amathathu ukuya ngosuku. Amakhulu abasetyhini… abanye andikaze ndibabone benomtsalane kodwa umahluko wabo omncinci wawuyinto entle ngokwaneleyo. Onke la magama e-pornstar… onke loo mathathu… indawo ezine kunye nokutsiba kwezona ndawo zishushu. Ewe bendingayiqondi into yokwabelana ngesondo… ndiyayiqonda iphonografi. Ukwabelana ngesondo kwakungabalulekanga… kwaba yinto yokulahla… into eza kulahlwa kude kwasekuqaleni. Umbono wesondo wawungekho nolonwabo ... yayikukuhla nokubukela iphonografi. Ndiphantse ndaziva ngathi (entlokweni yam) ndinqamle uthando kunye nesondo. Ndandinomtsalane kwezothando kunye nomtsalane kwezamanyala. Ukutsala ngesondo kwezothando kwaba yinto engenakwenzeka… ezi zinto zimbini zaqhawuka entlokweni yam kangangokuba andinakuze ndizidibanise ngokwenyani njengoko kwakufanele ukuba ziziko.
Uhlalutyo lwam / iingxaki zokudakumba zaqala ngexesha elinye xa ndandiqala ukuphulula amalungu esini. Kutshanje, ndiye ndabona ukuba xa ndingena-masturbatoin-free kwiintsuku ezimbalwa, ndiyazinyanzela ukuba ndisebenze kwiinjongo zam endaweni yokuzihlalutya kakhulu. Kwelinye icala, kwiintsuku ezingama-2-3 emva kokubuyela umva, ndiphelela kuhlalutyo-ukukhubazeka kunye noxinzelelo.
I-Btw ndiyayiqonda ngoku indlela ubomi bam obahluke ngayo kunyaka ophelileyo… ndandilikhoboka lamanyala kangangokuba oko kwandenza ndarhoxisa amatheko, kunye namaqela ngoNyaka oMtsha. Kunyaka ophelileyo nonyaka ophelileyo ngexesha lepati yoNyaka oMtsha bendihlala ndenza i-masturbate kwaye ndibukela iphonografi xa ixesha lifika ngo-1: 24 …… loo nto yayindenza ndibe likhoboka!
Ekugqibeleni yafika kwinqanaba apho bendihlala ndichitha ubuncinci iiyure ze-4-5 ubusuku ngabunye ndizama ukufumana ividiyo efanelekileyo okanye umfanekiso. Kubuhlungu xa ndicinga ngako! Ngamanye amaxesha bendide ndibize abagulayo ukuba basebenze kwaye ndichithe ubusuku bonke kwikhompyuter. Bendingazukuqonda ukuba lihamba ixesha elingakanani de ndibone ilanga liphuma. Ndayazi ukuba ndinengxaki enkulu. Kwakhona, bendinengxaki yokuxhalaba nokudakumba okoko bendineminyaka eyi-13 malunga nexesha elinye ndiqala ukusebenzisa iphonografi rhoqo.
Izizathu zam zokufuna ukuyeka zii- my mood plummets after binging; Ndicaphuka ngokulula ngabantu- Indibeka kwindawo enye yengqondo yonke into endinokucinga ngayo iphonografi- Iphazamisa ubuthongo bam, xa ndisiya kulala ndinayo i-kaleidescope ye-porn entlokweni yam- Kuyacaphukisa ukuzifumana ndenza into enye iphindaphindwe.
Ndandisoloko ndisebenzisa ukufumana isayithi elitsha okanye i-subgenre, okanye iteknoloji okanye indlela yokuhambisa eya kuba ngathi "Ewe andinakuyeka, kodwa le nto emitsha iyamangalisa." Ngaphambi kokuba ndifumene le ndawo eyenzeka kaninzi. Ndingazixelele ukuba ndiya kuyeka, kodwa oko kwakuza kuphuma ngefestile kuba ndiza kubona ukuba kukho into ethile, kwaye yayiza kufutshane nje ukujikeleza inkqubo yonke engqondweni yam.
Bukela iphonografi ixesha elininzi losuku, zive ngathi ungoyiki kakhulu emini, ube nesithukuthezi imini yonke. Ungabinalo iqabane ubuninzi bobomi bakho… Isisiqhwala. Yayilinqanaba lokuzonwabisa, kodwa kum liphelile (ubuncinci ndiyathemba). Ibubuntwana nje ngoku. Ekugqibeleni ndiqala ukuyibona ukuba iyintoni.
Ndingaphezulu kwe-40, kwaye ndafumana ikhompyuter yam yokuqala ndineminyaka eyi-30. Phambi koko, ndandinomkhwa wokuhlaziya amalungu esini, ekunokwenzeka ukuba wawungekho ngaphezulu kwendoda ephakathi, kodwa yayiyinyani endandisazi ukuba andinakuyeka lonto indenze ndayazi. Xa ndafumana ikhompyuter ndazifumana ndijonga ngakumbi iphonografi, nangona kwangaxeshanye bendiyithiyile, kwaye ngokungagungqi ndiyifumene iyadika. Kodwa kufuneka ibe yi-dopamine, kuba bendihlala ndibhenela kwi-porn xa ndicaphuka ngandlela thile. Kwaye baba yimfihlo ngakumbi, baba nomsindo, kwaye bahlala bengonwabanga. Ndiyathetha ngokunyanisekileyo ukuba i-pornography ibe yinto ebaluleke kakhulu ebomini bam, ifikelela kuzo zonke iinkalo, kuquka umtshato wam kunye nomsebenzi wam. Ndinqwenela ukuyiphelisa.
Ndicinga ukuba kuyothusa ukuba into efana ne-81% yamadoda kwikholeji abukele iphonografi kunye nabafazi, i-31% yabo bayayibukela. Ndikufumene oku kothusayo kunama-81% yamadoda, kuba ndivile ngemithombo emininzi ukuba abantu basetyhini abavulelwanga yimpawu ezibonakalayo kwaye kungcono bafunde inoveli yothando. Ndiyicinga ukuba ibango liphume ngefestile, kuba i-1 kwabayi-3 yabasetyhini ibukela iphonografi. (Wow, oko kubonakala ngathi kuninzi.) Ngokukodwa oko kuyinyani, kubi kakhulu, akulungile, kuthi bafana. Ngokuqinisekileyo andifuni ukuba umfazi wam wexesha elizayo ahlaselwe yi-pornography, ngoko ke ubomi bakhe bubonakala bubukrakra kwaye buhlungu. Ndikhumbula xa ndandisoloko ndicinga ukuba kupholile ukuba intombazana entle ibukele iphonografi. U-Jeez woyikeka kodwa. Kubuhlungu ukubona ukuba itekhnoloji engalunganga iye yajija njani nobuchopho bethu ngenxa ye-intanethi ye-intanethi.
[Ubudala 67] Ubomi bam bube bubude obude, bubuhlungu bubukho bezinto ezingaqhelekanga eziveliswa ziziganeko ezingcolileyo zoononophelo okanye ndizitshintshe okanye ndifumane kwi-intanethi. Ndichitha ixesha elide ndibe neentloni kunye neentloni. [Ngoku] ndiyakuthanda ukukhangela amabhinqa kwiso, ndingabi ngathi si-weirdo okanye unyanisi kwaye ungumqambimanga. Ndiyathanda ukucaca kakuhle kwaye ndiziva ndiqonda. Ndiyathanda ukuziva kakuhle kum. Ndafumanisa ukuba i-porno ichaphazela ngokuphawulekayo indlela ndidibana ngayo nomntu ondizungezile kwaye ichaphazela kakhulu indlela ndivakalelwa ngayo.
Kulungile ke, la ngamava am obuqu ngendlela yokufota kunye noononophelo okuye kwabuchaphazela ubunzima bam. Mhlawumbi abanye abantu banamava awahlukileyo, ke anditsho ukuba le yindlela eya kuba nefuthe ngayo kuwo wonke umntu. Ndingu 19 kwaye bendisebenza ejimini kwibhola ekhatywayo ukusukela kwibanga lesibhozo. Ndihlala ndizonda i-porn kunye ne-masturbation, kodwa khange ndicinge ukuba ineziphumo ezibi ezibonakalisiweyo. Emva kokuba ndifumene iividiyo ze-TED, kunye nobungqina bokuba iphonografi kunye ne-masturbation iyingozi, ndaqala ukuzibuza ukuba zingaphi izinto endizenzayo ngeziyobisi zamanyala. Andinangxaki yokuthetha namantombazana, andinangxaki ngokwasentlalweni, kwaye ndinamantombazana amaninzi ngaphambili. Ndiqale nakwiqela lebhola ekhatywayo le-varsity unyaka wam wokugqibela kwisikolo samabanga aphakamileyo. Xa ndiqhubeka nokujonga emva kwento eyayibonisa ukuba iphonografi iyasebenza, ndiye ndaqonda ukuba ibichaphazela ukusebenza kwam kwezemidlalo. Kwithuba eliphakathi kunyaka wam omncinci wesikolo esiphakamileyo kuxa ndandikhe ndanxila kwi-porn kunye ne-masturbation, kwaye ndiyakhumbula ukuba ndinamandla amancinci ngexesha lokuziqhelanisa, ukugxila okungaphantsi, kunye nokuziva ngathi andifezekanga xa siphumelele imidlalo. Ezi ziphumo zifanayo ze-PMO ziye zandilandela kwigumbi lobunzima ngeli xesha lonyaka. Njengomzekelo, amandla am acocekileyo wam abambekile kwi-230lbs iiveki ezininzi, kwaye andifumananga ukuba ndenza ntoni na. Ngomhla weshumi elinesixhenxe weentsuku, ndaziva ndinamandla, ndigxile, kwaye ndizithembile, kangangokuba ndakwazi ukucoca iiponti ezili-15 ngaphezulu kwam max. Ndihlala ndibona inkqubela phambili kwaye ndiziva ndomelele xa ndingakhange ndifake kwiiveki ezimbalwa. Ngelishwa ndibuyele kwimikhwa emibi kutsha nje, kodwa ndiyazi ukuba ukuba ndifuna ukuba yeyona yomeleleyo ndinokuba yiyo, kufuneka ndiyeke iphonografi kunye ne-masturbation.
Kungekudala ndiphande ngophando ukuba izitenxo ze-dopamine zibangelwa i-OCD kunye neengxaki zokucinga. Ndiye ndandinyamezela oko kuba ndaqalisa ukuhlambalaza ngokugqithiseleyo xa ndisebuncinci kwaye i-OCD yomeleza njengoko ndandifumene kwi-pornography.
Ndiya kwirekhodi kunye neenhlu zezizathu zokuba ndiyayithiya ukuphandana noononophelo, ngoko ke kutheni ndizimisele ukuwunqoba.
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- Indijika ibe yi-zombie, engakhathaliyo nantoni na eyenye. Ndiyazilibala izinto, ndiphephe izinto, ukuzibekel 'amangomso, cima kumfazi wam kunye nabantwana ukuze ufumane ixesha lokuba wedwa kunye ne-iPad yam kunye nokondla umkhwa.
- Ndinowona mfazi mhle kakhulu othi, xa usiya, ndihoye ukuthanda `` abafazi '' abangathandekiyo kangako endingabaziyo.
- Iphazamisa ubuthongo bam kwaye iyanciphise kakhulu umgangatho wam umsebenzi wam kunye nokukwazi kwam ukugxila.
- kumosha ixesha. Ixesha lam, ixesha lomfazi wam, ixesha labantwana bam. Ngokufakela, ke ndonakalisa ubomi bam kwaye ndinciphise umgangatho wabo.
- indenza ndingabinalo igama elinamandla elijikeleze mna eligcwele ithuba lokwenyani lokukhula, ukuphuhlisa, ukufezekisa, ukunceda abanye, uluhlu luyaqhubeka…
Ndandihambela kwezinye zezona zinto zingamanyala, kwaye nangona kunjalo ndandingafumani kuphumla, nasemva kokuchitha iiyure ngosuku. Ngoku ukuba ingqondo yam ibuthathaka ngakumbi (iiveki ezimbalwa zingenazo iphonografi) andiyidingi iphonografi enje, kodwa ukuba ndiqale kwakhona iya kuba ngumcimbi wexesha ngaphambi kokuba ndibekho kwindawo efanayo. Kwaye yintoni? Ndineminyaka engama-24-25 kuphela ubudala.
Emva kokuba ndifumene i-YBOP ngoJuni kwaye ndaqala ukuqala kwakhona, ndaziva ngathi ndingumntu ophakamileyo kwaye ukuzithemba kwam kwandisiwe kwaye uxinzelelo lwam lwentlalontle lwaphela kakhulu. Ndaqala ukuthetha nabasetyhini kwaye ndizicelomngeni ukuba ndiphume ngakumbi. Andikhathalelanga kangako ukuba abantu bacinga ntoni ngam kwaye bade baxelela uninzi lwabahlobo bam malunga nemicimbi yam enamanyala kunye neziphumo ebezingalunganga kum. Ndiva ngathi ndibancedile abanye babo kuba iphonografi iyingxaki kwisizukulwana sam. (Ndingu-23.) Phantse bonke abahlobo bam abangamadoda bahlala bebukela iphonografi kwaye baneminyaka.
Kwabaninzi kuthi (mna ndibandakanyiwe), i-ED yayiyeyokuqala yokwenene ikhonkrithi / uphawu olothusayo olusishukumisayo, kwaye lusenza siqonde ukuba into malunga nokuziphatha kwethu ngokwesini ayichanekanga. Ewe, kusenokwenzeka ukuba bekukho iingcinga malunga ne-porn okanye ubudlelwane, kodwa ngandlela thile xa ichaphazela 'i-ED yam, incanca yam' umba uba yinto engenakuphepheka ngokupheleleyo, 'ngaphambili nakwiziko' kubomi bethu.
Ndingubani xa ndiqala:
- Ndandingumntu ohluke ngokupheleleyo, njengamkelekile kwiKapa eliPhathekayo, uluntu: me aka fagot.
- Besendigcwele ityala kunye neentloni. Andikwazi ukubamba ngamehlo nabantu. Ndingoyiswa kukoyika kunxibelelwano olusisiseko.
- Ngaba ngokuqhelekileyo ufuna ukuginywa phantsi.
- Ayikho imbono apho ndihamba khona ebomini.
- Amehlo afile, isikhumba esibi, ilizwi elibuthathaka, AKUNYE I-ENERGY.
- Imemori eyingozi kunye nezakhono zokuthetha.
- Intlalo ihamba ngaphandle kohlobo lwangempela
- Ngaba yayiza kuyenza yonke into intombazana, ndiyinto ebangelisayo kubo
- Konke kukho nje kwakucinga ngathi kwakukho inkungu ebumnyama ebambelele ebomini bam
- Uziva ungalunganga -> bukela iphonografi -> qhubeka uzive ungalunganga -> jonga ngakumbi iphonografi -> NGOKUQHUBA NDIKHALA
Ndingubani ngoku:
- Ukukhathazeka ngobomi, umntu onoyovuyo
- Egcwele amandla kunye nezizathu
- Izwi elinzulu, i-skin ecocekileyo, amehlo anelisayo
- Imithi yasekuseni 😀
- Unokubona umfanekiso omkhulu wezinto, wafunda okuninzi kulolu hambo
- Ukuqiniseka ngeemeko zoluntu kunye nokuthetha nabantu abangabaziyo nabathandekayo
- Ukugxininisa kumaphupha kunye nezinto zokuzilibazisa
- Eyaziwayo, yenza abahlobo ngokulula, bakwazi ukuthetha
- Amantombazana ashushu ayandikhumbula-ithini into?
- Inkungu iye yaphakamisa kwaye kunzima ukuchaza indlela engcono ngayo ubomi emva koko.
LOKUPHILA NGOKOMPILO.
Bendihlala ndinamandla xa ndingu 16-17 (ndicinga ukuba iihormones zam zazisusa isihogo). Kodwa kwenye indawo phakathi kwe-18, ndaqala ukuba yindoda ebandayo. Ndacinga ukuba ndikhulile nje. Ngeli xesha kwakuqala ixesha lam lamanyala kwaye ndaqala ukusebenzisa icaffeine enjenge-maniac. Andizange ndive novakalelo olunamandla kwaphela. Ndiyakholelwa ukuba iimvakalelo ziqala ukubuya kancinci kancinci. Ndiyaqaphela ukuba ndikhula ngcono iveki neveki ndiza kuyigcina le nto!
Andibonakali ngathi ndiyaludlula olu lusizi lokuba kukho into engalunganga kum yokuba ndingabinakho ukuqhuba ngesondo kwaye ndingenazo naziphi na iindlela kunye nokuphazamisa ukuphendula kwam kwabasetyhini ngokuphulula amalungu esini kunye ne-porn kuyo yonke le minyaka. Ndiyalila ubuhlobo obuye baphela ngenxa kunye nexesha kunye nolutsha oluchithwe ngaphakathi ngaphakathi kwam ngokubukela ngokugqithiseleyo iividiyo kunye nokufunda izinto eziphathekayo kunye neengcamango.
Ngoku ndibona umonakalo omninzi ekufuneka ndiwulungisile. Ndisandula ukujika i-33 kwaye ngeendlela ezininzi ndiziva ngathi ndithatha apho ndayeka khona kwiminyaka eyi-20 okanye njalo. Krestu, andazi nokuba ndiqale ngaphi. Ayifani nento yokuba ndiyifumene yonke loo nto, nokuba. Ndandikhawuleza ukujongana nantoni na ngokulahlekelwa yimifanekiso engamanyala, ukuhlaziya i-masturbation kunye nobudenge. Ngoku ndivuka kwiminyaka eli-13 kamva kwaye ndiyaqonda ukuba andisafumani nto kwaye ndisoyika, ngaphandle kokuba ngoku andinashumi leminyaka lokugungxula indlu yangasese ngelixa ndiphepha ukujongana nayo. Into endithetha ngayo apha bubudlelwane bobuqu. Uyazi, bafazi. Ukwabelana ngesondo. Uthando. Ukuya ngemihla. Ndiziva ngathi andinaxesha lide lishiyekileyo ukuba ndifuna ukuba nabantwana kwaye ndiqale nosapho kodwa… ndingayonwabela njani loo ngcinga xa ndiqinisekile ukuba ndingayifumana ixesha elide ngokwaneleyo ukuba ndabelana ngesondo kube kanye, ngamaxesha afanelekileyo okuzala ngempumelelo.
Ndiye ndathetha no-3 kubahlobo bam abasenyongweni ngexesha elinye okanye elinye, kwaye bonke abathathu babenengxaki efanayo ye-PMO, kwaye bonke bandixelele ukuba baziva bengenathemba ngayo. Omnye wabahlobo bam wayeka ukuyeka, kwaye saqala kwangolo suku lunye, kodwa wandixelela kwiintsuku ezimbalwa kamva ukuba wayephazamisile. Emva koko akazange aphinde afune ukuthetha ngayo yonke le nto kuba wayeziva engenathemba, kwaye akazokwazi ukuyeka.
Kule minyaka ndizikhanyele ngokwam (kunye namantombazana ambalwa endikunye nawo) ithuba lokwenza imixokelelwane yeemvakalelo enenjongo yokwenyani yendalo. Ndicinga ukuba umlutha wamanyala ubenegalelo ekusileleni kobu budlelwane, obunokuthi babambe ikamva elithembisayo.
Ndikwi-30 yam yamva nje, ndisebenzise kakhulu iphonografi ukusukela kwiminyaka yam yokufikisa, kwaye bendineengxaki zokungasebenzi kakuhle ixesha elide-ubuncinci ukusukela kwiminyaka yam yokugqibela ye-20, nangona kutsha nje ukuba iphantse yaba kukukhuphela i-ED. Ndiyibek 'ityala kumaqabane ("Andikuthandi wena" / "Ndinqwenela ukuba ubuphendule"), ubutsha bamaqabane ("Ndidinga ukunika umzimba wam ixesha lokufikelela kwingqondo yam") amanqanaba omzimba, ukutya, ubudala, uxinzelelo, uxinzelelo lwendlela yokusebenza ... Kwaye eneneni, zonke ezo zinto, ngaphandle kwento ethi “Andikho kuwe”, mhlawumbi banendima abayidlalayo. Kodwa xa ndabona ukuba andinakukwazi ukuphinda ndihlaziye i-orgasm ngaphandle koononophala - into ecofa. Kubonakala ngokungacacanga ngoku, ewe, ewe, ndiyazibuza ukuba ngaba lukhona na unxibelelwano okanye unxibelelwano phakathi kwe-porn kakhulu kunye ne-ADHD (eyayiyenye yezinto endandizibona ngengqondo yam). Ndiyazi ukuba abantu be-ADHD bathambekele ekuziphatheni okunganyanzelekanga nakumlutha kwaye banqwenela ukuvuselelwa rhoqo.
Ndifumene i-abrasions evela kuninzi (njengeyure +) ehamba kwi-porn. Kwaye amaxesha ambalwa ndanegazi kwisidoda sam. Kwakungenxa yokuphindaphindwa kwelo xesha (cinga ukuba ndibukele iphonografi amaxesha ama-3 ngemini emva koko), kunye nenqanaba endizise lona. Ngaba uhlala uneseshoni apho ekuphela kwendlela oziva ngathi uphuma ngayo yayikukuyicoca ngentsimbi KUNYE nokwenza i-kegels kunye nenye into? Ewe… Ndikhuphe imithambo yegazi emininzi, edityanisiweyo. Yiyo yonke le nto, ngethamsanqa.
Yintoni eyenza isayithi lakho ligxume kum kuthi kukuba zonke iimpawu ozichazayo-ukukhupha i-libido, i-ED xa ulala ngesondo kunye neqabane, ukunyamezela kokudandatheka, ukungabikho kweenjongo njl.
(Ubudala 16) [bendiphulula amaphambili kwimifanekiso engamanyala kwaye] ndiyaphazamiseka. Ngendlela efanayo nam xa ndandiyenza kwi-horse porn kunye ne-incest stories. Kutheni ndingenakuphuma nje kwi-porn yesiqhelo ubuncinci ??? Nokuba kunjalo… ndifuna ingcebiso. Ndingayifumana njani le nto entlokweni yam? Ndingazilibala njani ngayo kwaye ndiqhubeke. Ndinexhala elinzima ngaphakathi kwam ngoku ngenxa yoku.
Ngokwesiqhelo, ndenza i-masturbate ndisebenzisa i-lube, ke imvakalelo yesini emanzi okanye umlomo yayihlala iyinto engaqhelekanga, engonwabisiyo kwilungu lam lobudoda. Andizange ndiyithande, kwaye ke ndicinga ukuba yayiyinxalenye yesizathu sokuba ndingakwazi ukugcina izilungiso kwixesha elidlulileyo ngexesha lokwabelana ngesondo. I-penis yam yayisetyenziselwa ukuba nzima kuphela xa ivuselelwe ngesandla esomileyo, esinamandla kakhulu kunye neengcamango ezingekho phantsi koononophelo. Akumangalisi ukuba bendihlala ndinengxaki yokulala nomntu- i-99% yezinto ezandikhuthazayo endakha ndazifumana kwilungu lobudoda zahluke ngokupheleleyo kwisini sokwenyani kunye nowasetyhini oyinyani. Ngeli xesha (usuku lwe-30) ndandonwabile ukuba ndingafumana ilitye elinzima ngaphandle kokuziva kwesam isandla kunye ne-lube. Andizange ndiqaphele ngaphambili kodwa bekukho amaxesha amaninzi xa ndalahla amantombazana kungekuphela nje kuba ndandisoyika okanye ndixhalabile ngesini, kodwa ngenxa yokuba ndibandakanyeka kwimifanekiso engamanyala kunye nokuhlaziya amalungu esini amaxesha ama-2-5 ngemini kwakusoyisile nawuphi na umnqweno endinawo wokuba ndiphume apho kwaye wenze into ekufuneka ize ngokwendalo kum-phuma uye kufuna amantombazana kunye namava ezesondo kunye nabo, nokuba yeyokwabelana ngesondo ngokungaqhelekanga okanye ukuthanda izinto zothando.
Xa ndisebenzisa iphonografi kakhulu, naluphi na uhlobo lwento engaqhelekanga enxulumene noononophala kubonakala ngathi ayifanele. Nokuba ubukele umboniso omtsha weTV okanye udlala umdlalo omtsha uziva ngathi ngumsebenzi omkhulu.
Kwinqanaba lam lokugqibela ngaphambi kokuba ndiyeke iphonografi, bendiya kufuna ukugqitha. Ekugqibeleni, ndandingenomdla kwi-orgasm.
Ebutsheni bam, bendihlala ndingena egumbini kwaye abantu bebendibona kwaye banomdla kum kwaye bafuna ukuthetha nam. Xa ndandihamba ezantsi kwesitrato ndaziva ndithembekile kwaye ndinamandla kwaye amantombazana aya kukuqaphela oko kwaye andamkele. Njengoko iminyaka idlulile, i-PMO yanda kwaye loo mandla ahamba kancinci. Ubomi bam bezentlalo babandezeleka. Ndandihlala ndicinga ukuba kukuguga, kodwa ndandingalunganga. Ndixolile kakhulu kukuba ndiye ndabona ukuba ngubani owonileyo. Ndiyakuva ukuba amandla abuya ngoku.
Ukuphulula amalungu esini mihla le, ngamanye amaxesha ukuya kuthi ga kumaxesha e-5, iithebhu ezininzi, ukujikeleza iiyure de u-dick wam azive engekho kwaye nengqondo yam itshiswe ngathi iphambene. Ngaba ndandingatshatanga? Hayi! Intombi yam yayihlala icela ukulala ngesondo, kodwa ndiza kwenza i-orgasms yokukhohlisa ukuze ndifumane "ukukhawuleza" kunye ne-porn xa ihambile. Ngesinye isikhathi ndandinomdla kunye naye, ndoneliseka ngokupheleleyo, kodwa andinakukwazi ukumelana noononophala emva kokushiya indlu njengeyure emva. Kwenzekile: intombi yam ibingathi iyanyamalala. Ebhedini wayebonakala ngathi yinkungu. Ingqondo yam yayigcwele eminye imifanekiso. Ndiza kuba ndicinga ngemifanekiso engamanyala ngelixa nditsala, ndiziva ndingenankathalo, ndisozela, ndingekho, njengentombazana yam ibiziimayile ezilishumi ukusuka kum, ke ngokwemvelo, i-ED ibetha. Ukuphika, khange ufune ukuyeka elinye ibali lam lothando, owona mcimbi mde wam! Ke ndiye ndahlala ndicinga ngelixa ndizama ukuba nzima, kwaye intombi yam ethandekayo ayizange ibe sinye isixhobo sokuhlaziya amalungu esini. Ndaba lusizi, ndadandatheka, ndanomsindo, kwaye ndaziva ngathi ndihlala kuhlobo lwebhabhu. I-ED iye yaya isiba mandundu, nokuba neminqweno engonelanga ibinganele.
Ngokuqinisekileyo ndinamava kwesi siphumo amaxesha amaninzi: ndiziva ngathi ndingangumntu we-orgasm nangona bendingekho nzima kwaphela.
Ndikwiminyaka yamashumi amabini anesihlanu kwaye ndinengxaki yale nto ibonakala ngathi intsha-inama-21st Century broadband eqhutywa kukuphazamiseka kwe-ED. Ndinamathuba amathathu okuphulukana nobuntombi bam ndinabafazi bokwenyani nabanegazi kwaye ndiye ndasilela ngalo lonke ixesha (njengakulo, aba bafazi babesebhedini yam kwaye bekulungele ukuhamba, iimpahla, kodwa andinakuyenza. Ndinamanye amathuba, kwaye namanye amantombazana alele ebhedini yam, kodwa andikhange ndishukume kuba bendisazi ukuba andizokwazi ukuyenza… naphakathi kweminyaka eli-18 ukuya kwengama-22) Andizukungena kwiinkcukacha kodwa ngalo lonke ixesha ndiziva ndineentloni, ndidandathekile kwaye ndinqunyiwe. Andiyindoda engatshatanga ncinane (ngokwenene ndiyindoda enobungqingili) kodwa andinakulala ngesondo kunye naba bafazi. Ukuba ndingakhetha igama elinye ukuchaza ukuba kwakunjani xa ndizama ukulala nabo, ndingasebenzisa igama elithi 'umfokazi.' Yayiziva ingenabuntu kwaye ingekho kum. Kufana nokuba ndifumene imeko yokuba ndihlale phambi kwesikrini kwaye ndiyigubungele ngokufa yonke le minyaka ukuba ingqondo yam ithathela ingqalelo ukuba yinto eqhelekileyo yokwabelana ngesondo endaweni yokwabelana ngesondo lokwenyani. Ndinokuba nzima kwi-porno, akukho ngxaki, kodwa hayi ebomini bam ndinokuba nzima kumfazi wokwenyani.
I-Porn iyonakalisile ingqondo yam ngokubhekisele kubomi bokwenyani basetyhini. Ndihamba ndisiya kumfazi omnye ndiye kolandelayo kuba bengazenzi ii-pornstars kunye nezithintelo zesini abaye bandiphoxa.
Njengomntu ophethwe yimijikelezo emnyama ejikeleze amehlo am ngokwendalo, ziya zisiba mbi kakhulu xa ndithe fap. ulusu luba bomvu lube krwada lube mnyama kwaye amehlo am ajongeka edinwe kakhulu. Ukufika kwam ekhaya ngekrisimesi kumhla weentsuku ezili-14 abazali bam bathi ndijongeka ndijamile kwaye ndilungile kwaye amehlo am abukeka engcono, okwenzekileyo amatyeli aliqela kweminye imigca…. Amehlo am aba ngcono, ulusu lwam luye lucace ngakumbi kwaye amehlo am ayakhazimla kakhulu, kwaye ndiyabona kakhulu nam.
Ndicinga ukuba umyinge wabantu endibaziyo emntwini abaneengxaki zokulutha i-PMO uxeliwe, kuba nokuba ngu-A) Abazi ukuba yingxaki, okanye B) Baneentloni zokundixelela okanye abanye abantu, okanye C) Abacingi ukuba akukho nto banokuyenza ngayo, okanye amaqela aneleyo enkxaso. Abahlobo bam abathathu baqonda ukuba banengxaki, kodwa aba-2 kubo bathi bazamile ukuyeka, kwaye bacinga nje ukuba akukho nto banokuyenza ngayo. Bayamkela ukuba bayathandeka ebomini. Inxalenye yolwazi malunga nokujikelezwa komvuzo yinto entle kakhulu, kuba ukuyeka ukuxhomekeka kakhulu ekusebenziseni ingcinga, kunye nokomeleza ingqondo. Ngaphandle koko, awazi ukuba kutheni uyeka.
Ndaqala ukuphawula imiphumo yokusetyenziswa kwama-porn rhoqo xa ndandidla nge-22 okanye i-23. Ndaqala ukulahlekelwa umdla kumantombazana ngobomi bokwenene. Ndine-erectile dysfunction kwaye ndilibazisekile xa ndihamba nentombazana. Oku kwabangela ukuba ndiphephe isondo kunye nokuphinga.
Iya icaca kum ngoku ukuba ubudlelwane obuninzi obugqwesileyo endibe nabo kwixa elidlulileyo behlulekile kwinxalenye enkulu ngenxa ye-PMO. Ndizifumana ndingatshatanga kuma-36, ayisiyonto imbi emhlabeni, kodwa hayi apho bendicinga ukuba ndiyakuphela khona. Ngamanye amaxesha ndiqala ukuzisizela kwaye ndizisole ngemicimbi ebangelwe yi-PMO ebomini bam, kodwa ke ndiye ndijonge kwicala eliqaqambileyo- ubuncinci ndikugqibele. Kusoloko kukho ixesha lokujika izinto.
Kwakukho ubusuku apho ndandenza i-orgasm 3 okanye amaxesha e-4, ukuba andiziva ngathi ndenza umsebenzi wam wasekhaya. Kwabo bangenamava ngaloo nto (ngethemba lokuba uninzi lwenu), ayisaziva mnandi; ii-orgasms zinokukhathaza.
Ingxaki yam ephambili malunga ne-3 iminyaka ngoku (Ndiyindoda eneminyaka engama-20 ubudala) ibe kukudinwa okungapheliyo kunye nenkungu yengqondo. Ngokwenyani akukho lusuku olunye kule minyaka mi-3 idlulileyo apho ndandingadinwanga kakhulu ukuya kwinqanaba lokuba ndikwazi ukulala. Ngapha koko, ndiziva ngathi ngendilele nangaliphi na ixesha ngelo xesha ngaphandle kwe ~ 2 okanye iiyure kangangexesha lokuvuka kwam ebuthongweni. Indawo ephezulu ebomini bam kuxa ndigqibayo kwisikolo samabanga aphakamileyo. Ndandimde, ndimile kakuhle, ndithweswe isidanga phezulu kwiklasi yam, ndikhwele ndaya eyunivesithi yasekuhlaleni apho ndandinokuba yiyo nantoni na endiyifunayo, ndinenkxaso yabahlobo abanothando nosapho, njl njl. Kodwa emva koko, phantse kufane nesiqalekiso, KANGOKU njengoko ndandiqala eyunivesithi iingxaki zaqala ukuza. Andazi ngenene ukuba ndandiphulula amalungu esini kodwa yayininzi kakhulu, kwaye yaqala ukundifumana.
Kwiintlobo ezininzi zexesha elidlulileyo, emva kokunikezela ndifuna ukuba ndedwa, ndandicatshukiswa kakhulu, ndatshitshiswa ngamandla kwaye ndizaliswe ngehlazo nokuzisola. Kanye kunye nenkohlakalo yengqondo kunye nokungakwazi ukujongana neemeko ezingaqinisekanga, ezidibeneyo nokungafuneki ukuvuyisa kwintetho kunye nokuhlala nabantu, ndandingenangxaki enkulu kwaye ndonwaba kwibala lezentlalo.
Ndiye ndaya kumaxesha azinzileyo e-orgasm ngaphambili, amanye ahlala ixesha elide kwinyanga. Nangona kunjalo, ndandisenza i-LOT ngexesha lala maxesha (mhlawumbi nangaphezulu kwesiqhelo). Andifumananga ukuba kukho umahluko kwindlela endandiziva ngayo ndabuya ndabuya. Xa ndisithi "bendiziva njani", ndibhekisa kwimo yam yengqondo. Ndineengqondo ezinzulu kakhulu kwaye andinakukwazi ukugxila okanye ndicinge ixesha elininzi. Ndikwanengxaki yokudinwa okungapheliyo, ecaphukisayo. Kukho i-ED encinci, kodwa ukunyaniseka xa kusetyenzwa kuyinto yesibini ukubuyisela ingqondo yam kwindlela elungileyo. Ndimncinci (20) kwaye ndiseseyunivesithi. Bendihlala ndikrelekrele njengesabhokhwe, kwaye bendinazo zonke iindlela zomsebenzi ezinokuvuleka kum. Lo mkhwa we-PMO ukhubaze inkumbulo yam kunye nengqondo ukuya kwinqanaba apho ndizabalaza khona ukwenza umndilili esikolweni (endicinga ukuba iyamangalisa ngokujonga indlela endiziva ngayo).
Xa ndicinga ngayo ngoku, andinakucinga nangaliphi na ixesha ndikhula xa ndingakhange ndibanjelwe iphonografi ngandlela thile (ukusukela kwiminyaka eyi-12). Ukuqala kweyunivesithi, ndakhawuleza ndadibana nentombazana emangalisayo ndaza ndahlala nayo malunga neenyanga ezili-18. Ngelishwa andikhange ndenze lukhulu ngezo ntsuku, kwaye ndithintele iimeko zentlalo ngenxa yobusuku obukhe bodwa kwi-intanethi ... Imikhwa yam engamanyala ibingancumisi kangako njengoko lihambile ixesha, kwaye kutshanje indizisile (ngoku ingama-23) imeko entsha. Kutshanje ndiye ndaqala ukuqokelela amawaka evidiyo ezibonisa amanyala. Andibajonganga bonke. Ndiyayiqokelela ngokukhawuleza. Kuyamangalisa ngokwenene. Kufana nohlobo oluthile lendebe. Kwakhona ndandidla ngokuxhamla kwi-pornography, kodwa ndijikeleza ukwandisa i-masturbation kwiintsuku eziliqela. Xa ekugqibeleni ndigqibile (malunga neentsuku ze-4 ezedlulileyo), kungekuphela nje ukungoneliseki ngokupheleleyo, kodwa ndandibuhlungu kwaye ngoku kubonakala ngathi andinakukwazi ukufezekisa ukulungiswa ngokupheleleyo. Akumangalisi ukuba uthi. Kodwa andikaze ndibenangxaki ekufezekiseni ukulungiswa okuzenzekelayo, olunye utshintsho luye lwacima ndicinga ukuba ngokwebhayoloji lelona lisezantsi endikhe ndaya kulo, nangona ngengqondo ukuvuka kusekho. Ndiyathemba ukuba khange ndenze umonakalo omkhulu emzimbeni kwaye yinto yokwenyani yokwenyani malunga nento endiyenzileyo kwingqondo nasemzimbeni kule minyaka idlulileyo. Eyona nto indixhalabisayo ngoku kukuba nangona ndicinga ukuba ndinganikezela, ndiyoyika ukuba ndenze umonakalo ongenakulungiseka ndihlala ndizama ukuvavanya izinto zisasebenza. Iintsuku zokuqala ndiyazi, kodwa kuyandoyikisa ukucinga ukuba andinakuphinda ndisebenze kwakhona, ngakumbi ngoku xa ndijonge kwikamva kwaye ndizinzile kwaye ndicinga ngobomi bosapho ngakumbi.
Khange ndilale nokuhlala ndibukele iphonografi. Ndizibala iiyure ezisele kude kube ndisiya ekhaya ndize ndiqale ukuphulula amalungu esini. Ndiphephe iifowuni kunye neziganeko zokuhlala ekhaya. Ndiwuyekile umsebenzi obaluleke kakhulu ekufuneka ndijolise kuwo. Ndiziva ngathi ndilikhoboka leziyobisi. Andikwazi kuzibamba.
Ndinikwe ngaphezulu kokwaneleyo ubomi obumnandi, obunemveliso. Kodwa sekuyiminyaka ngoku, bendisoloko ndinengxaki yokudakumba kwaye ndihlala ndingenamandla. Ndandinombono wento eyayinditsala, ndazama ngamandla ukungayamkeli. Kulo nyaka ndiqale ukusombulula ingxaki. Ndiyeke ukhula ngaphandle komzamo, kunye necuba ngomzamo omkhulu ngakumbi. Khange ndicwangcise okanye ndiyiqaphele, kodwa ndiyekile necaffeine nayo. Khange ndive neziphumo ezibi zokuyeka, kodwa kwabakho utshintsho olucothayo. Ndiphulukene nenqanaba lobukhali bengqondo, ndiziva ndikhathele ngakumbi, kwaye ndilahlekelwe yiyo nayiphi na idrayivu yokwenza nantoni na. Khange ndilale nabahlobo bam kwiiveki, kwaye kunzima ukuba ndiphendule ifowuni. Ndiyimvumi ubomi bam bonke, kodwa andizichukumisi izixhobo zam. Ndinolonwabo lobuchopho kungekudala. Nangona kunjalo, ndihambe iintsuku ezimbalwa ngaphandle kokuhlaziya i-masturbation ngoku. Ndabona enye into namhlanje engandixhaphazeli. Ndavula i-porn kwaye ngaphandle kwempendulo yengqondo yam, kwakungekho mpendulo kuwo wonke umzimba wam. Akukho tshintsho ekuphefumlweni, ukubetha kwentliziyo, akukho kuphuma kwegazi kwilungu lobudoda. Ndaqhubeka ndiwunakile umzimba wam, kwaye ndaqonda ukuba akukho nto inokwenzeka ukuba andiqali ngokwenza ngesandla. Bekunje okwethutyana. Umzimba wam ubuye wacela ikhefu.
Uyayazi into endinika inkuthazo eyongezelelweyo ukuba ndihlale enqwelweni? Uloyiko. Uloyiko = “Ngcwele! Ndizakuba neminyaka engama-26 kungekudala. I-ED ebangelwa zi-porn ihlupheke i-26year endala. Ndivele ndacaphuka iminyaka eli-10 yolonwabo ebendinokuba nayo. Endaweni yokuba bendixakekile ndixinene ngaphezulu kwekhompyuter. Ukuba andiyifaki le nto kwi-bud, ndiza kuba kwi-30s yam kwaye ndingabinakho ukubamba ulwakhiwo kwakhona. Ngequbuliso ndisoyika ukuba ndineminyaka engama-30 ubudala. Kuyothusa!
Andizange ndiqaphele ukuba i-PMO yayandichaphazele kangakanani ekubeni ndiqalise ukuhluma ubuncinane kanye ngosuku ukusuka kwi-6th kwibanga. Ngomnyaka ndaqalisa iPMO'ing kwaye apho ubomi bam buhamba ngendlela eyahlukileyo, kwaye ndaqala ukuzala kwimihlambulukanga kwaye ekugqibeleni ndabonakala kwimihlambini yezocwangco. Xa ndijonga emva koko, loo nyaka wesikolo amabakala am abe ngumbindi ngenxa yokuba ndayeka ukuzama kwaye ndingazange ndive ngathi ndenza umsebenzi. Ndinezihlobo ezimbalwa kuba ndandingenangxaki kwaye ndinexhala. Loo mqondo waqhubeka kwi-HS kwaye wandikhathaza ngokwenene xa ndisebenzisa kwiikholeji. Kwikholeji, amabakala am kuba ngcono kuba andifuni ukukhangela ngaphandle kwam Ngokuqinisekileyo ndinayo i-3.0 kodwa bekube ngcono kakhulu. Ndaphumelela ngeqondo elilula kuba andifuni ukusebenza nzima. Kuyo yonke isikolo esiphakathi, isikolo esiphakeme, kunye nekholeji ndingazange ndibe nentombi kunye nokuba neyodwa ngobusuku bodwa bemi namantombazana ambalwa kwiikholeji ngenxa yokusela utywala. Kwikholejini ndaqala ukufumana ingqondo yengqondo, ukuxhomekeka, ukuhlala ndonwabile kwaye ndanxinwa ngaphezu kokubi / ndingenomdla kumantombazana. Ndacinga ukuba kwakuyixinzelelo okanye isifo se-lyme kwaye ndithatha izidakamizwa ezininzi zokuzonwabisa ukuze ndizenze ndivuyiswe kwaye ndiyilwe nantoni na ukuba ndiziva ndikhululekile ngaphakathi. Ndakhubeka kwisayithi ngengozi malunga neenyanga ze-6 ezidlulileyo kwaye ndaqonda ukuba oku kukhangeleka ukuba yimbangela yam iingxaki. Kwakunjalo. Uthole ikhonkco lokusebenza kwi-iPhone yam ukuba ulandelele iintsuku ezibanceda kakhulu. Ndivakalelwa kukuba ndihamba nge-2nd yobusuku njengoko iintsuku zihamba ngeenzuzo ezi zinto.
Akunjalo nokuba andiguqulwa ngethemba lokwenene ngesondo. Zombini iifoto zoononophala kunye nomxholo wokwabelana ngesondo okwenyani uyonwabisa (mhlawumbi umxholo wesini KUNYANZELEKILE). Kungenxa yokuba xa ndisenza isenzo, ndiziva ngathi andazi ukuba ndenze ntoni okanye ndicinge ntoni ukuze ndiyifumane. Kunjengokuba ingqondo yam iqeqeshiwe ukuba ibangele ukwakhiwa ekuphenduleni i-porno, hayi kwinto yokwenyani.
Ndisoloko ndingumfana obefanele akhuhle ngaphandle ngaphambi kokwenza nantoni na. Fap xa ndivuka. Fap kwishawari ngaphambi komsebenzi. I-Fab ngaphambi kokulala, ihlala iphindwe kabini. Lilonke, ubuncinci amaxesha ama-3 ngemini. Yonke. Usuku. Ndingu 20, kwaye ndafumanisa ukuphulula amalungu esini xa ndandimalunga ne-11. … Ukujonga amanyala okwenyani ngokwenene ukuphuma kuba izinto eziqhelekileyo bezingenakukwazi ukuphinda zikwenze, ukuba neengcinga ezingcolileyo, njlnjl. Okokugqibela endikwenzele kona bendinentlungu engapheliyo xa ndivuka. Oku bekuqhubeka iminyaka, iintlungu nje ezincinci emathangeni am-ezantsi ezisezantsi, kwaye bekuhlala kusandiswa kukufota. Ndabeka u-2 no-2 kunye ndenza uphando lwam, konke kodwa bandixelela ukuba le yayiyi-100% ngenxa yokugcwala kakhulu, ([ukusukela uyeke] kuphelile, akukho miqondiso yakha yenzeka.) Kwaye ke uqala uhambo. Usuku lwe 3!
Siyabonga ngqaku lakho, Ukulahlekelwa Kwi-Roulette ye-Porn. Phantse igama ngelizwi, ndihambile ndenza into efanayo nomfana kwinqaku lakho. Ukufunda amagama akho bekufana nokuphakamisa imaski yobuso bomnye umntu kum. Ndiqale kwangoko kwi-Intanethi, andizange ndibenalo ithuba lokuzenzela ubuwena: endaweni yoko, ndanikwa enye yi-dopamine ezantsi ukuhla okudityaniswe nokufikelela okungenamda kwi-Intanethi. Ndiyazi ukuba andinguye loo mntu, kwaye ndididekile ngokuba neempawu ezifanayo nezabafana kwinqaku lakho; Ndiye ndazibamba ekwenzeni ubudlelwane obunothando ngenxa yale nto.
Xa ndandidla yonke imihla (amatyeli aliqela ngosuku), ukuba umntu undibizile ukuba ndiphume, ndiza kuyigxotha kwangoko. Nangona ndandicinga ukuba abafazi babenomdla kakhulu, ndaziva ndifuna ukuzama nantoni na, kuba ndihlala 'ndanelisekile' ngokwesondo. Njengomntu okwishumi elivisayo ndahamba ixesha apho ndandihamba khona malunga namaxesha alishumi ngemini (kwaye oku asikokuzibaxa, ngamanye amaxesha kunokuba ngaphezulu kunoko), njengoko ndandikhula, kwakufika kathathu kuye kane ngemini, yonke imihla usuku. Ndaba novalo okwethutyana, emva koko ndanexhala, emva koko iimpawu ezigqithisileyo ze-ADHD (apho ndingakhange ndikwazi ukugxila kuyo nantoni na, ndishiya yonke into endiyiqalileyo). Ndaziva ndiziva ndineentloni ukuba andinakukwazi ukunceda. Ngoku, emva kweentsuku ze-90 ngaphandle koononophala / i-masturbation, andiyi kuthi ndixhalabile. Kodwa yehlile njenge-80% ukusuka kwinto eyisebenzisa ukuba yiyo. Kule nqanaba ndiya kuba nexhala ngokukhululeka kungekudala. Ke, makhe ndenze uluhlu oluncinci ukwenza oku kube lula emehlweni.
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- Ukuxhalaba kakhulu
- Boner nanini na
- ukuzithemba
- Umnqweno wokudibana nabantu kunye nokuphuma (bendingenguye njenge-SAP njengabanye benu, kodwa ukuba nigqibelele kwi-SAP kwaye iinyanga ezintathu azikusiki, hlala apho)
- 100% ukwanda kwimiba
- I-radar yokufumanisa abafazi (nganye intombazana engama-radius radius iya kuphawulwa ngokukhawuleza)
- I-100% yokwandisa ekugxilweni (akukho kwakhona i-ADHD njengempawu, ngoku ndiyakwazi ukuqedela izinto ndiqala)
Ndandisoloko ndicinga ukuba i-porn inokundisindisa ekuzilimazeni okanye ukuzibulala. Kodwa xa ndiyinika ingqwalaselo yokwenyani ndiye ndabona ngokucacileyo ukuba ukusebenzisa i-PMO kuqinise uxinzelelo lwam kunye neengcinga zam ezenzakalisayo kunye nokuziphatha, okwenza yonke into ebomini ibe lusizi. SO ayisosibonelelo sokuba ube "nesiqabu" okwexeshana, ukubona nje ukuba uhlamba ubomi bakho kumjelo wokuhamba kwexesha.
[Intsha engama-20] ndandisandula ukuphulula amaphambili ngemini kwaye ndazibuza "Kutheni ndisenza le nto? Andisaziva ndonwabile. ” Ndaye ndagqiba kwelokuba ndizame i-nofap. Kwakuyiminyaka engama-2 ukususela ngexesha lokugqibela lokuthintela intombazana. Ukuphulula amalungu esini ekuphela kwam yayikukuphuma kwam ngokwesondo.
Okwangoku ndikuloo meko yengqondo apho uziva ngathi uyinto entle ngenxa yokuba usukile kangakanani. Kufana neso sigqibeleleyo sokulala ngesondo apho kungekuphela nje ukuba i-libido yakho ichotshozwe, idityaniswe, inyibilikiswe kwaye yenziwe isuphu (ethi ityiwe ize ikhutshwe kwaye iphoswe ezantsi kwindlu yangasese kwiindawo zelindle ezingaziwayo kuthi ezihlala ngaphezulu komhlaba) kodwa iyafana kuthethwe ngenkuthazo yakho. Yonke into ivakalelwa kukuba indindisholo kwaye ikude kwaye ngaphezulu koku uyonqena, ungakhuthazeki kwaye ekuphela kwento onokukhathazwa kukwenza kukuxelela ontanga bakho kwi-intanethi indlela evakalelwa ngayo yonke into. Ndizama ukufaka isicelo somsebenzi ngoku kodwa ndiyibekile-andinakukhathazwa kukuhamba nemibuzo yobuchule.
Ndiqaphele into eyenziwa ngoononophelo kubafazi ebomini bam. Iyajika kwaye ijike phantse nawuphina kwaye wonke umntu obhinqileyo endimbonayo abe yinto ye-porn. Iphuma kulawulo. Ifuna ukwenza imifanekiso engamanyala endiyibukeleyo kwiintsuku ezidlulileyo. Iliso lengqondo yam ithatha indawo ye-starlet ye-porn kunye nabafazi bokwenene endijonge kubo. Oku kuyangena kwimithambo-luvo yam kuba iza ngamaxesha angafanelekanga, kwaye kubonakala ngathi kuhlala ixesha elide uhleli kumbono wamehlo engqondo yam.
Ndiya kuhamba kwi-PMO binges enkulu eya kuhlala ivela xa ndivuka nge-8 'o iwashi ekuseni kwaye ndiqhubeke nokuthanda i-2 okanye i-3 emva kwemini, apho ukutya, ukusela nokuya kwindlu yangasese kwakubekwe khona. Ndikhumbula ngenye imini ndizibona esipilini ngenye yeeseshoni kwaye ndandijongeka njenge zombie, amehlo am ayebukeka edumbe, enegazi kwaye engenabomi ngokupheleleyo. Yandoyikisa ikaka kum. Kodwa ayizange indiyeke loo nto. Xa ndandidla ngexesha leeseshoni ndazixelela ukuba ndiyenzele loo mini, kodwa ke, emva kwemizuzu eyi-15 ndaziva ngathi le-lustball ephambeneyo kwaye ndiza kubuya kwikhompyuter ndibone ii-vaginas ngaphezulu kwendoda enye ekufuneka ibonile ebomini. Ezi zezinye zeziphumo zokuba likhoboka lam ukuza kuthi ga ngoku
- ntembelo ephantsi
- -nentlalo
- -netyala, ukuhlazeka, ukunyaniseka nokukwazi ukuba andizalisekisi ubuchule bam njengomntu ngamnye ngosuku
- zibuhlungu kumantombazana
- iiyure ze-2920 ezilahlekelwe yi-PMO (iminyaka eyi-8 x i-1 iyure PMO ngosuku) oku kulingana ne-122 (iintsuku zeeyure ze-24) ezilahlekelwe kwi-PMO
- ukuziphatha okunobungozi ezifana ne-PMO kwimisebenzi kunye neyunivesiti
- Ukungaphumeleli ukufumana ulungiso okokuqala ndalala ngesantombazana. Nangona ukusukela ngoko bendihleli namantombazana ahlukeneyo ambalwa. Ndicinga ukuba ndiqhuba kakuhle xa ndicinga, kodwa ndihlala ndifumana ukuba andinakugcina ulwakhiwo olupheleleyo kuyo yonke indawo (ngenxa yokunyanzelwa kokuqeqesha amalungu esini) kunye nomzabalazo wokufezekisa intombazana kunye nentombazana ngaphandle kokucinga ngemifanekiso engamanyala entlokweni yam.
Ndandinazo ZONKE “iimpawu.” Ndingafumana "iliwa" nzima ekubukeni iphonografi, kodwa akukho mnqweno wesini sokwenyani. Mhlawumbi yaqala malunga nonyaka odlulileyo. Kwangelo xesha, "imikhwa" yam yamanyala yenyuka ngophahla. Ndingasebenzisa iiyure ngosuku, ndizakhele ingqokelela yam nangakumbi nangakumbi kwiimovie.
Ukusetyenziswa gwenxa kwe-porn yinto ayisihoywanga kwaye ndicinga ukuba ibangela umonakalo omkhulu. Ayisiyo kuphela ebantwini abangamakhoboka, kodwa abanye babo ababalulekileyo kunye namalungu osapho angenalo nofifi. Ndiyazi ukuba ndiye ndakhalimela abantu ngaphambili kuba bendingekazilungisi mihla le. Khange ndiqonde ukuba ibingunobangela ngeloxesha, kodwa ngoku ndiyabona kwaye ndizisola kakhulu. Ndine ntombazana entle ethi "yintoni ingxaki yam?" malunga naye kum ezibuza ukuba kutheni ndingamfumani. Yeyiphi into embi endimenze ukuba acinge ngayo, ukuba kukho into engalunganga ngaye, xa ibindim onengxaki enkulu.
Ilungu lam liqale libukeka likhulu emva kwe-4 kwiiveki ze-5. Ngaloo nto ndiyathetha ukuba umhlaba ungakhange ukhangeleke kodwa ungabonakali kakuhle kwaye unobungakanani obushushu. Ngaphandle kwefap, isikhumba sinalo ithuba lokunciphisa nokutshaya. Kwaye kwabonakala ngokucacileyo.
Iimpawu zam phambi kweNofap
- I-Zero Signal evela ku-D. Intombi yam enhle entsha yayilale ecaleni kwam ebhedeni, kwaye ndaye kwi0% erection. Ndifungela kum ukuba ndingakufa kunokuba ndibuye ndibuye ndibuye ndibuye ndibuyele. Thetha nge-motivation!
- Ngenxa yokuxhalaba okukhulu, ndiza kukhangela ubuso bam ebuthongweni bam, ukuya kwinqanaba lokushiya amanqaku abonakalayo. Abantu babeza kundibuza ukuba ngaba ndilahlekelwe ukulwa nekati.
- Andikwazanga ukulala ngaphandle kokufakela. Ndiza kulala apho kwaye ndikhathazeke ngezinto zonke phantsi kwelanga.
- Ndiza kugawula amazinyo xa ndilele. Ndandigqoke i-molars yam kwaye ngoku ke nxiba ubusuku bokulala. Udokotela wamazinyo wandixelela ukuba ndiya kufuna enkulu imisebenzi yamazinyo ukuba oko kuyaqhubeka.
- Isalathanga sam esele sasekhohlo sasiya kuba intlungu rhoqo ngenxa yoxinzelelo oluphindaphindiweyo olubangelwa iiyure zokuhlela.
- U-Dick wanyanzeliswa kwaye waxhatshazwa kuzo zonke izixhatshazo.
- Ukuxhalabisa lonke ixesha.
- Ivila, ingavelisi. Ndiza kuqalisa iphrojekthi kwaye ngokukhawuleza ndilahlekelwe ngumdla.
- Ukulibala, ukuziphatha kakubi, ukuziphatha okubi. Ingqondo yam yayiyayiduka xa umntu ethetha ngqo kum.
- Ukuphephelwa kweemeko zentlalo, kunye nabasebenzi abathandekayo okanye intsapho yam. Ndiza kwenza iimbono zokungasebenzisi ixesha kunye nosapho okanye nabahlobo, ngokuthanda ukudlala imidlalo ye-stupid inthanethi. Ndandicima ebomini bokwenene.
- Ukuphuphuma ukuphuma ebhedeni. Kwaye emva kweeyure ze-8 zokulala, ndandiziva ngathi ndingaya ngqo kwenye i-8.
- Amandla amaninzi / ukukhuthaza ukuzonwabisa okanye ukusebenza.
- Ndinexabiso eliphantsi, okwangenza ndwelekile nabasetyhini. Ndacacisile uvuyo lwam olusekelwe ekubeni ngaba ndibe nomfazi ebomini okanye ndingenalo. Ndiya kuba nexhala-lenze iindlobongela zenzondelelo malunga nentombazana yam ephulaphule nam, le nkxalabo echithekele ekuvukeni kwam ubomi, okuya kuthiwa iya kubakhokelela ukuba bahlukane nam ebomini bokwenene. Ubudala 35 - ED yonyango, Ubomi buhlengahlengiswe. Iingcebiso zokudibanisa, izinto zokuFunda kunye nokuqwalaselwa
Ukusukela malunga ne-20 yam yokuqala ukuza kuthi ga ngoku bendilibanjwa le-PMO, ndiyikhetha phezu kwabahlobo, usapho, umsebenzi, imicimbi yentlalontle iba nokuzithemba ngakumbi ngaphandle kwayo, kodwa ngokungathandekiyo nangakumbi ngayo. Nge-2011, ndiye ndaya ezantsi kum ngokuhlawula ukubukela iphonografi (endazifunga ukuba ngekhe ndenze) kwaye ndaqala ukujonga amantombazana aphilayo ngenxa yokuba ndandifuna into ethe kratya. Iphonografi yeyona nto ifuna ukuthathwa ngokungathí sina kweli hlabathi njengeentsapho eziqhekezayo kwaye zichane nje ngokutshabalalisa ubomi babantu.
Baninzi ngakumbi abantu basetyhini abajonga isondo ngeendlela zoononophala ezibonisa: thatha iimpahla zakho, fuck, nxiba iimpahla zakho. Ukwabelana ngesondo kufana nento yokubonisa. Abafana bathetha ngayo kwezi ndlela zoomatshini kuba baphenjelelwa zizinto abazibonayo kwiscreen, kwaye abantu basetyhini bayamkele loo nto kubo - ukuze bathandwe ngabo bantu bafana (malunga neendlela zabo zesondo abangazi nto ngazo). Libali elibuhlungu kakhulu. Abafana baye bathinjwa kulindelo lwabasetyhini abalwenzileyo.
(Ubudala 22) Ngethuba nje ndiyakhumbula ukuba ndihlaziye i-3 amaxesha ngosuku-nangona kungekho nto iya kuphuma xa i-ejaculating !! Ndine ntombazana, kwaye ndilahlekelwe ukulungiswa kwam. Ngokwenene ibiyindiza yokugqibela. Indishiye ndinengxaki yengqondo. Inyanga ephelileyo ibisoyikeka-ukuya kuthi ga apho ugqirha andiyalele khona uSertraline. Elinye icala lesiphumo kukuba kunokubangela i-ED! Ayisiyiyo le ndiyifunayo ngoku…
Ndicinga ukuba i-porno iyitshintshile indlela endibona ngayo ukuba umntu obhinqileyo kufuneka abukeke njani. Andithethi ngengqondo yesiqhelo yokuba ndicinge ukuba ndinolindelo olungenakufikeleleka kubuhle kuba abasetyhini abakwimifanekiso engamanyala bahlala bezenzela, uqhaqho lweplastiki, njl.Ndithetha ukuba ndicinga ukuba ukubukela abantu basetyhini kwifomathi ye-2d nanjengento ethile kwiscreen kunokuba ngaphezu kwento ebonwe kubomi bokwenyani iguqule indlela ingqondo yam ewubona ngayo umfanekiso we-3d wobukhulu bomfazi kunye nesillhouette yakhe kubomi bokwenyani. Nokuba umfazi onomfanekiso okhangayo kubomi bokwenyani uhlala engafumani saziso kum kuba, ndiyacinga, umbono wam wokulahla ulahliwe. Yicinge ngolu hlobo… ukuba wakhe wabona imifanekiso yento eyi-3d enjengebhola engenamacala, okanye ityhubhu kodwa wabona icala elinye ngexesha, ze umntu othile akuphosa ibhola ekhatywayo , okanye ndikubonise ukuba idayisi ibukeka kanjani… ngekhe uqonde ngokuzenzekelayo ezo zinto njengeziqhelekileyo okanye njengesiqhelo, okanye ngekhe zifumane impendulo efanayo neyenziwe yimifanekiso emi-2.
Ndisebenzise i-soft-core porn (cinga playboy) kubo bonke ubomi bam ukuhlambalaza. (Ndingu-37.) Kubo bonke ubudlelwane bam bangaphambili, isondo sasingasoloko sikhulu (kwizihlandlo ezinqabileyo sasilungile) kwaye bekusoloko kungumthombo woxinzelelo kum, endithinteleyo ekufuneni isini / ubudlelwane. Nangona ndisebenzisa i-soft-core, i-video ye-porn indenza ndingakhululeki. Kodwa ndisenolindelo olungenangqondo kumzimba wabasetyhini, ophazamisa ukubanakho kwam ukuba nditsaleleke kwabafazi bam endidibana nabo kubomi bemihla ngemihla. Umlingane wam omtsha uyathandeka. Ndiyayibona ngokwengqondo, kodwa ubomi bam obuyingcamango kunye neengcinga zam ngaye azihambelani.
Ndandisoloko ndisebenzisa i-masturbate kuphela ndisebenzisa ingcamango yam okanye "ibhanki ye-wank". Kodwa unyaka onesiqingatha esidlulileyo ndazisa i-porn kwaye ndaqala ukuyibukela. Ubomi bam baqala ukuhla benyuka njengoko bendiza kujonga malunga neeyure ezingama-2-3 ngosuku, ndiye ndidinwe ngakumbi, kwaye ndingafuni kwenza nto. Ukunyuswa kwam kuye kwaya buthathaka kwaye buthathaka, ingqondo yam yaxokozela, de umama wandisa kugqirha kwaye ndachaza imeko yam. Ndafunyaniswa ndinengxaki yokudakumba, uxinzelelo kunye neziyobisi. Ndiqale ukuthatha amayeza (i-Effexor XR), kwaye kwezi nyanga zimbini zidlulileyo, ndaphinda ndabuya nawo onke amandla am, ndaqala ukuphuma ndasebenza kwakhona, kwaye amabakala am aphuculwe. Ekugqibeleni ndaziva ngathi ndiphila ngokusemandleni am. Ekuqaleni abantu endathetha nabo malunga ne-porn bathi i-porn ayiyongxaki. Kungenxa yoko le nto ndingakhange ndiphathwe kwangoko. Kukho ukungaqondi kakuhle eluntwini ukuba iphonografi iyindalo kwaye isempilweni kubafana ukuba balahle uxinzelelo lwabo ngokwesondo. Abantu abayazi ukuba uninzi lwayo lukuguqula ube yiZombie.
Ndiyakhumbula ezo ntsuku apho ndiza kwenza i-PMO emva kokuvuka kwaye ndikhathele kakhulu yonke imihla. Kwaye okomzuzu bendiya kuba namandla ndizakuphinda ndenze i-PMO kwakhona… ngamanye amaxesha ukuya kuthi ga kumaxesha e-4 ngosuku. Ndonwabile ukuba oku kudinwa akusekho yinxalenye yobomi bam.
Ndandithandana nentombi (kamva umfazi wam), wamkela ubomi bam [unyawo olulanda umnikazi wesayithi ye-pornography] kwaye bendonwabile ukuzalisekisa naziphi na iingcinga zam. Endaweni yokuba bendisoloko ndiphulula amaphambili yonke imihla kumaxesha amaninzi kumxholo endiwufumene kwiziza ezingezizo ezam kwaye. Ngoba? Kuba bendilikhoboka. Ndiza kulala ngesondo nomfazi wam kwaye ndize ndihlaziye emva koko. Ndiza kuvuka ekuseni kwaye into yokuqala endiza kuyicinga ngayo i-masturbation. Ndiya kuba ngumzekelo wokudubula kwaye emva koko ndihlaziye ngokufanayo kodwa kwividiyo. Oku kungandishiya ndilusizi, ndidandathekile, ndiphelelwe nangalo naluphi na amandla obomi kwaye ndicaphukile. Kwaye okoko ukuphulula amalungu esini kukuziphatha gwenxa, akushiyi kukushiya wanelisekile kwaye kukuqhubela ukuba uphulula amaphambili ngakumbi nangakumbi. Ingqondo yam yayingasebenzi, ndandingakwazi ukucinga kakuhle, inkumbulo yam yayimbi. Ukuhlaziya i-masturbation rhoqo kwachaphazela ukulungiswa kwam, ukusebenza kwam ebhedeni, kwandenza ndiphazamise, ndichaphazela ubudlelwane bam nabasetyhini kunye nabantu ngokubanzi. Imithombo yeendaba indenze ndacinga ukuba ilungile kwaye isempilweni. Kodwa ukuba yayikhona, kwakutheni ukuze ndihlale ndiziva ngathi yinto engekho mthethweni? Ngoku ndiyi-30 kunye ne-masturbation yamahhala. Andizange ndihlaziye i-masturbated ngokusondeleyo kunyaka.
Izinto zanda kakhulu xa i-intanethi ephakamileyo ifikeleleka kum ngaphandle kwemida. Am M akhula kwi3 okanye ama4 amaxesha ngosuku. Ngoku ndiyi24 kwaye ndiyaqonda ukuba le ngxaki iyichaphazela ubomi bam kwaye iyanciphisa into endiyifumanayo. Yenze ukuba ndibe yi-lethargic, ndigxininisekile, ndiphelile, ndixhalabile kwaye umbono wam ebomini ugcwele ithemba.
Xa ndibuya kwakhona, izinto kuseto lwasentlalweni ziya kuba nzima. Iyahlakesi. Xa ndinencoko kanye emva kokubuyela umva, ndithetha izinto entlokweni yam ngathi, "Kutheni ndithetha nalo mntu nje? Kutheni befuna ukuthetha nam? Yintoni imali yam, okanye isondo endiyifumanayo ngale ncoko? ” Kunjengokuba xa ndiphinda ndibuya kwakhona kufuneka kubekho isizathu esibandayo samatye, ekuvunyelwene ngaso, malunga nezibonelelo zawo omabini amaqela ngaphambi kokuba sithethe omnye komnye. I-LOL Yile nto ubuchopho benzayo kum xa ndingu-PMO. Kuyinto entle.
Ndiyintombi-inkolo / inkcubeko kwaye mhlawumbi ndilinde intombazana efanelekileyo. I-LOL Ke andinakuphawula malunga nobudlelwane obusondeleyo nabasetyhini, kodwa ndinokubeka izimvo nge-ED. Ngaphambi nje kokuba ndimise i-PMO ndiyakhumbula ukuba ndandidla ngokuhlaziya i-masturbate kwi-semi-erect. Ndiyakholelwa ukuba bendiqhubekile bendiya kuva ubunzima obukhulu be-ED. Kuya kuba ngcono. Ndifumana ukulungiswa kusasa ngoku.
[Kumfazi oxinekile] Ndingumfundi wezengqondo kwaye ndingazi [iphonografi inokuba yingxaki] ixesha elide. Ukusuka kumava am obuqu, ukufakela kungabonakalisa ubudlelwane obupheleleyo kwaye andizazi ngcono. Xa usebudlelwaneni kwaye kwicala usaqhubeka nokubukela iphonografi, iyayiphazamisa ingqondo yakho, kuba nangona ungamthanda umntu onaye, ingqondo yakho iyaqonda ukuba uyawafumana onke amanye amantombazana ashushu kwiimuvi Yinto eqhelekileyo leyo, ngoko ke yiya uthumele umyalezo kwamanye amantombazana. Kufana nokuzenzekelayo, ungacingi nokucinga ngako. Ndandinobudlelwane beminyaka emi-3 ukuba ndiyonakalisile. Ndicinga ukuba bendisazi ngale nto ngendingenayo. Sobabini sagqiba ukukopela kulwalamano kwaye nangona sizamile ukukusebenza, ingqondo yam yayixakanisekile nayo yonke into eyayisenzeka kwaye kwakukho nokusela okuninzi okubandakanyekileyo. Xa usenza iphonografi ngalo lonke ixesha zonke iingcinga zakho zinobunkunkqele kwaye kunzima ukucinga ngokucacileyo. Kulula nje ukuqhushumba. Ekugqibeleni ndandingumntu opheleleyo kuye kwaye ndandingakwazi ukucinga ngokuchanekileyo, kwaye ngoku andilahlekanga kuphela ubudlelwane beminyaka emi-3 kodwa nomhlobo wam osenyongweni. Kodwa mhlawumbi izinto zenzeke ngokusemgangathweni kuba ubuncinci kum, xa ndilahlekelwa lobu buhlobo obubaluleke kakhulu kum, ndazi ukuba kufuneka nditshintshe izinto ezininzi malunga nobomi bam kwaye ukuyeka i-porn yenye yazo. Ukutya ukutya okunempilo, ukuzilolonga, kwaye ngoku ndisela kuphela utywala ngezihlandlo ezikhethekileyo. Ndicinga ukuba ukuyeka kuye kwaba luncedo kuyo yonke le nto, nangona ndingakhange ndibekho kuyo ixesha elide. Kodwa kubonakala ngathi akukho nzima ukuyeka ukufakela. Ayifani nemidiza. Kungenxa yokuba xa uthatha isigqibo sokwenza, uyayenza, kwaye xa kusenzeka oko, kuya kuba lula kakhulu ukuyeka zonke ezinye iziyobisi ezimbi. Into endiyaziyo kukuba ngoku ndiziva ndibhetele kunangaphambili. Intetho yeTED. Kwaye mnike ithuba libe LINYE. Ndivakalelwa ngokwenene ukuba bendazi ngale nto xa ndandithandana nam ngekhe ndibengathi ndiyimbongolo. Ngendikwazile ukulawula ukusela kwam kwaye ndatya ukutya okunempilo kwaye ubuncinci ndigcina ubuhlobo bam. Ukuba uyafuna, mvumele afunde uluvo lwam. Ukuba usahleli nawe kungenxa yokuba ufuna ukuzama ukutshintsha. Mhlawumbi akanalo ulwazi oluchanekileyo. Ukuba ufuna ukutshintsha, le yindlela entle yokuqala. Ukuba umnika lonke ulwazi aludingayo kwaye ukhetha ukuba ungubani, inokuba lixesha lokuba uqhubeke.
Ukuxhalabisa, ukuxhatshazwa ngokwesondo, i-ED enxulumene nama-Porn, ukukhathala, ukuvuthwa rhoqo, ubuhlobo obusenyongweni obuye ndiyichitha ngenxa yobungqina bentlonelo, inkumbulo ehlazo endiyithandayo xa ndihamba ngandlela-thile ngexesha lokwabelana ngesondo, imali ichitheka kwi-pornography. Konele.
Andisakwazi ukuphinda ndihlaziye i-fantasy kunye nesandla sam, kodwa ndifuna i-hardcore, eyothusayo, etshintsha ngokukhawuleza imifanekiso enika kuphela i-intanethi ephezulu. Ngaba amanqanaba am e testosterone ajonge iziphumo abuyile. Unokufumana ilitye elinzima lokwakha iphonografi kodwa uyilahle kwakamsinya nje xa ndijonga kude nescreen kwimizuzwana embalwa. Kwakhona, iphonografi endandiyibukele itshintshile ngokuhamba kwexesha ukuya kwizinto Bendingafuni ukubukela, kodwa bendifuna ukuze ndivuswe kwakhona Ndilahlekelwe sisisusa sokwenza izinto eziqhelekileyo ezinomvuzo zemihla ngemihla, okanye ndingasafumani mvuzo. Ngaxeshanye, into ezinxulumene nezinto endizithandayo ziya kundenza ndifune iphonografi okanye ndiyenze kubomi bokwenyani. Ndenze ukhetho olubi, njengokuyeka ikholeji ngaphandle kwesizathu ngaphandle kokuswela inkuthazo, kwaye ndaqhubeka nokusetyenziswa kwe-porn ngaphandle kokuzixelela "ibilixesha lokugqibela." Ndaziva ngathi yi-zombie kwakamsinya nje emva kokuba ingcinga ye-porn ibetha engqondweni yam. Imemori yam yayiyingozi, ukuxhalaba kwezenhlalakahle kwanda, inkohlakalo yengqondo ngexesha leentsuku ze-pmo. Zonke ziye zaphucuka ngokumangalisayo ukusukela ngokuyeka ipmo.
Bendingazi ukuba uninzi lwabafana abancinci banengxaki yezi mpawu. Kubonakala ngathi iintombi zam ziya kube zijongana namaqabane "angenasiphelo" ngaphandle kokuba kukho into etshintsha ngokukhawuleza kwindawo esihlala kuyo - engandiboniyo isenzeka.
Nje ukuba ukubuyela umva kwakhona kuphele ndikhangela zonke iisayithi endizithandayo, ndikhangele ukubona ukuba yintoni entsha, kwaye ndiyaqhubeka nokuhamba ubusuku bonke ndide ndityhafile, emva koko ndibuye ndiye kwezinye. Ngenxa yoko, ndaziva ndidiniwe ngengomso kwakungakholeleki. Ndaziva ndigula ngokwasemzimbeni ndinamahlaba, umqala obuhlungu, amehlo abomvu, njl njl. Kwakunzima kakhulu ukugxila emsebenzini. Ndiza kujonga kwikhompyuter, kwaye ndiqhubeke ndilibale into endiyenzayo. Uxinzelelo lwentlalo lwaluphezulu njengesiqhelo emva kokubuyela umva. Bendingafuni ukuba kufutshane namntu, kwaye bendiza kucaphuka ngokulula. Ndikhumbula ndigoduka emva komsebenzi ndizama ukulala, kodwa andikwazi. Umzimba wam wawudinwe kakhulu ngosuku lwe-1, kodwa kwakunzima ukulala kuba ingqondo yam yayisebenza ngoxinzelelo. Ndiyazi kakhulu ukuba yintoni umphumo wobunono be-porn oziva ngathi… Phantse ngathi ndisiqingatha nje apho, iqokobhe lendoda endinokuba yiyo. Ilizwi lam liphakame kakhulu, kwaye livakala ngathi libuthathaka. Andikuthandi nokujonga esipilini ngezo ntsuku. Kukho amantombazana ambalwa anomdla wokuxhoma kunye nam ngoku, kodwa ndifumana uxinzelelo olubi xa ndicinga ngokuxhoma kunye nabo. Ndisenayo i-zero libido kwi-marathon yam yakutshanje, kwaye andinamnqweno wokuba phakathi kwabafazi bokwenyani. Yonke into endiyiva ngayo ixhala. Ndizifumene ndikwikhompyuter nditsala umnatha. Ingqondo yam iyahlala ibambekile kuyo… Phantse ngathi ndilikhoboka lokukhuthaza i-intanethi ngokubanzi.
Mhlawumbi ndiye ndaqala ukubukela iphonografi xa ndandineminyaka eyi-15. Ukucinga ukuba yinto enobungozi, kuba bonke abahlobo bam abangamadoda babesenza, indlela yam yokuziphatha yokubukela yanda. Ngexesha leminyaka emine edlulileyo ukuphulula amalungu esini kwi-porn kwaba yinto yemihla ngemihla. Okwangoku akukho ngxaki, kude kube kutshanje. Ndiyi-21 ngoku. Ukuziphatha kwam ukubukela iphonografi kwathatha ukuphambuka okungathethekiyo kwiinyanga ezi-7 ezidlulileyo. Ngethuba lokufunda ukugqiba, ndiza kuhlaziya i-3-4 ngamaxesha ngamaxesha. Indlela elula yokujongana noxinzelelo lokufunda. Ngelixa sichitha iiyure ezili-12 ngasemva kwedesika, iphonografi sesona siphazamiso siphambili semihla ngemihla. Kodwa konke kwaba kubi xa ndazibona ndichwetheza kwikota yokukhangela iphonografi. Ukubona imifanekiso emitsha, ngequbuliso ndavuya kakhulu. Ndandibhidekile. Into eyalandelayo kukuziphatha gwenxa, ixesha elikhulu. Ndingaya kumaxesha angama-5-6 ngemini kwaye ndifuna ixesha elifutshane kakhulu kwi-orgasm. Emva kwe-orgasm nganye, bekukho le hangover inkulu. Yintoni le bendiyenza ?? Ndandinexhala, kodwa ndaqhubeka nokuzinkcinkca, iminqweno yenye 'i-orgasm esandula ukuyilwa' ayizange ime. Ukuphinda ubuye kwaba kukugqibela kwam. Ezi yayiziiveki eziphazamisayo. Kutheni le nto le nto ngesiquphe yayiheha kangaka, ngexesha elifutshane kangaka? Ndandihlaziya i-masturbating kwizinto ezandinyanyisayo ngaphambili, kwaye ndiza kuhlala ndihlambalaza emva kokuba ndihlaziye.
[Ubudala 23] Phambi kokuba ndiphinde ndiqalise ukusebenza, ndandingenabuthathaka kwilungu lam lobudoda kwaye ndingenakukwazi ukugcina ulwakhiwo ngaphezulu kwemizuzwana eli-10. "Ukwabelana ngesondo" ukuba ubunokuyibiza nokuba ithathe imizuzu embalwa ubuninzi kwaye ngokunyanisekileyo andinakuva nto.
Iintsuku ezimbalwa zokugqibela ziye zaba zii-binges ze-porn iiyure ze-4-6. Ndikhawuleze ndagoduka namhlanje ukuya kubukela iphonografi. Iphazamisa umsebenzi wam kunye neeshedyuli zokulala. Ndathengisa ngomhla kunye nentombazana efanelekileyo endifuna ukuyazi nje ukuze ndikwazi ukujonga i-porn endaweni yoko. Kwacaca ngakumbi ukuba i-transexual porn engahambelani nesini sam. Emva kokuchitha iiyure ezingama-30 + kwiintsuku ze-5 ezidlulileyo ubukele iphonografi, iphonografi eyabelana ngesondo yaqala ukuba yindinisa! Ndaqala ukukhangela ezinye izinto ezenyanyekayo nezothusayo.
Xa ndisebenzisa uninzi lwe-porn, ndinqwenela ngakumbi nabasetyhini- kwaye ndinqwenela kakhulu ukwabelana ngesondo. Ndiyayicaphukela le mvakalelo. Ayipheleli nje ekujongeni intombazana endinxibelelana nayo kwaye yenza ixesha lam nabo lingazaliseki, kodwa kukungabi nantlonelo kum. Ukuphelelwa lithemba ayingomgangatho wendoda endifuna ukuba yiyo. Ukujonga emva kwindlela yokuziphatha yangaphambili - kubuhlungu ngokwenene. Ndiyazi ukuba andiyiyo ngokwemvelo loo mntu (ngaphandle koononophala, andiziva ndifuna isondo nonke).
Ndicinga ukuba ndiye ndaba likhoboka lemifanekiso engamanyala kule minyaka ingama-2 idlulileyo ngelixesha bendihleli ndingatshatanga. Andazanga ukuba ndilikhoboka, nto leyo ehlekisayo xa ndicinga ukuba ndiza kuchitha iiyure ngosuku phambi kwekhompyuter ndibukele ividiyo eyandayo emva kwevidiyo. Ukuba i-intanethi yam yayihamba kancinci kwaye ndingakwazi ukubukela, ndiza kuba nomsindo ndize ndilingane. Andizukukwazi ukwenza enye into ngaphandle kokuhlala ndilinde de kuphele ukugcwala kwe-intanethi. Ndiyothuka xa ndicinga ukuba ndichithe ixesha elingakanani, kodwa akukho ngaphezulu!
Ndizama ukuqonda ukuba kutheni ndingasileli kubafazi. Ndiphonononge ukuyeka iswekile, ukufumana umthambo omninzi, ukufumana umsebenzi endiziva ndizingca ngawo, ndizama ukuba nezinto zokuzonwabisa endicinga ukuba zingenza amantombazana acinge ukuba ndipholile, ndifunda ubugcisa bemfazwe, ndisebenza, ndicinga ngakumbi ngeengcinga ezintle, isihlenga oonobangela. Akukho namnye kuyo owasusa inaliti kwaphela. Emva kokumisa i-PMO kwiintsuku ze-5 ndandifana nomntu owahlukileyo-owomeleleyo ngesondo kunye nokukhuthaza, ndirhalela phantse. Emva koko kubekho ixesha elide lokuvuselela kwakhona okuqhubekayo, kodwa ngokuqinisekileyo ihambisa inaliti.
Ndaphinda ndine-pornography enkulu kakhulu kule veki edlulileyo; Usuku olupheleleyo lwachithwa ukujonga iifoto, ukuya kwinqanaba lokuba ndidale i-edema ngakwesobunxele bam ipeni. I-shaft yam yenzakalisa xa ndandingasayi kumisa, kwaye yayinomdla kakhulu kumgca kunye neengubo zentsuku emva koko, kwaye yayidla ngokukhawuleza.
Andinguye abasebenzisi abakhulu be-porn, kodwa ndiza kuthi umba wam ophulula amalungu esini mkhulu kakhulu kunokuba ndiqondile. Ndinamanqaku okutyumza kuyo yonke i-dick yam kuba ndijija ulusu kwicala lam ngezandla. Andikwazi ukukhupha i-ejaculate ngelixa ndimi, kwaye andinakukhupha ngaphandle kwe-masturbation. Ndiphinde ndityhalele i-pelvis yam phambili ngelixa ndiphulula amalungu esini ukuze ndonyuse ulonwabo, olunokuthi lungaqhelekanga. Rhoqo emva kokuba ndiphumile, ngoku incam yesikhumba sam iba bomvu kwaye iqala ukwenzakalisa. Okwethutyana bendihlala ndinxiba ihempe phakathi kwesandla sam kunye nepenisi, ndicinga ukuba yinto yokuthambisa yokuthambisa… Ingxaki kuxa ndidibana ngqo nolusu ndiziva ngathi ndilonakalisa ngomzimba oqhelekileyo. Kunjengokungathi ipenis yam ngoku ibuthathaka kakhulu. Bendihlala ndifumana iinkuni zasekuseni ngalo lonke ixesha, ngoku kwenzeka ngokungaqhelekanga. Andikaze ndiphinde ndifumane i-boner yelitye elinzima, ngelixa bendihlala ndiyifumana ngokuzenzekelayo, ngamaxesha angafanelekanga. Ngamanye amaxesha andinakunzima xa ndifuna ukuchama, kwaye kaninzi ndiyakwazi ukulawula i-ejaculate nge-penis enzima. Kubuye kube buhlungu kancinci ukudlala neebhola zam. Elona candelo libi kukuba naxa ndibambe iveki, uninzi lwezi ngxaki (umz. / Ukugruzuka) zihlala, kwaye xa ndisiya ejaculate emva kwexesha elide lokuyeka, kubuhlungu njengesihogo, ngokungathi ndiyabamba umthwalo omkhulu wamadlozi.
Ndiyoyika kuba andifuni ukuphulula amalungu esini okanye iphonografi indidle. Ndiyoyika kuba imikhwa yam yokuphulula amalungu esini kunye nokusetyenziswa kwe-porn kuye kwanda ukuya kwinqanaba lokuba le ndlela yokuziphatha izothe kwaye ndifuna ukuyiyeka. Andiziva kakhulu, tu. Iminyaka engama-24 ubudala. Andiyintombi, ndinezinto ezininzi. Ndenza nje i-masturbated. Ngu 3pm emva kwemini. Ndiziva ngathi ndiphelele. Andinatyala, okanye nantoni na enjalo - ndiziva nje ndingashukumi kwaphela. Ndiva ngathi ubomi buphelile kum. Le yindlela endiziva ngayo ngalo lonke ixesha ndithumela-ukuphulula amalungu esini. Ndiziva ngathi sisiqwenga. Ukuphulula amalungu esini kubuthathile ubomi bam. Ndiya emsebenzini, ndibuyele ekhaya, ndenze isidlo sangokuhlwa ndize ndihlaziye i-masturbate kude kube ixesha lokulala, eliqhelekileyo phakathi kobusuku. Zizo iiyure ze-6 ngosuku lokuphulula amalungu esini. Ngeempelaveki, ndichitha kufutshane neeyure ezili-10 ngosuku ukuphulula amaphambili. Ndilala ngesondo nabasetyhini bokwenene, nabo, kodwa ndixhomekeke kwi-cybersex.
Ndiyiminyaka eyi-28 ubudala kwaye i-porno sele ikho ebomini bam ngoku malunga neminyaka eyi-12. Ndiqaphele iminyaka embalwa eyadlulayo ukuba ndiye ndayeka ukurhoxa ekuhlaleni, ndingafuni ukuhlalisana nabantu kwaye ndiboyisile ngokupheleleyo ebomini. Kunyaka ophelileyo oku kuye kwaba kubi kakhulu. Ubuhlobo bam buye basokola kwaye ndishiywa lilolo ngamanye amaxesha. Ulwalamano lwam lokugqibela lwaluyiminyaka eyi-5 eyadlulayo kwaye ngoku ndijonga emva kwaye ngokucacileyo i-PMO yayiyinto enzima ekusileleni kwayo (ngakumbi iingxaki ze-ED). Ngoku ndixhalabile kakhulu ndisondela kubafazi endibathandayo.
I-Porn idichaphazele ngendlela echaphazela kakhulu, kodwa nolu luhlu olufanelekileyo njengoko ndinokukuxelela, kwaye ndiyakwazi ukuyihlaziya ngoku njengoko ndihamba nayo.
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- Umsindo omfutshane ngenxa yokukhathala
- Akukho mandla, ubomi, ukuzithemba, ukuphawula, nantoni na ofuna ukuyibiza
Ndiyazikhumbula malunga nonyaka kunye nesiqingatha esidlulileyo, ndifunda amanqaku ambalwa malunga nendlela i-intanethi eyonakalisa ngayo i-libido yamadoda amancinci, kunye nokuhleka. Ewe, ndahleka. Ngelo xesha, ndandibukela i-hardcore porno yonke ixesha, kwaye i-pornography yayiba ngumdla wam kuphela, kodwa andizange ndiqonde ukuba ndinengxaki. Xa, emva kweenyanga ezimbalwa, ndafumana intombi yokuqala ebomini bam kwaye ndaqonda ukuba ndine-ED, ndamangaliswa: ndingaba njani no-ED ??? Yintoni le isihogo ingalunganga ngam? Kutheni ndingaziva ndinentombazana ehamba ze phambi kwam? Ayikaze, awukaze uwele engqondweni yam ukuba ukusetyenziswa kwamanyala kunokuba yingxaki. Kwanasemva kokufumanisa iYybrainonporn, kwandithatha iinyanga ezimbalwa ngaphambi kokuba ndiyithathe ngokungathí sina. Kwandithatha iinyanga ezimbalwa ukuqonda ukuba iphosakele kangakanani into yokuba endaweni yokuthandana namantombazana, iminyaka ndiyiphulula amalungu esini kwi-intanethi. Ngokusisiseko, ingxaki kukuba abo bengekho (okwangoku) iziyobisi ezingamanyala bakufumanisa kunzima ukukholelwa ukuba iphonografi ingenza nawuphi na umonakalo kuba bengakhange bazibonele ngokwabo; kwaye abo bangamakhoboka ezesondo bayasilela ukuqonda imeko yabo de baqonde ukuba bane-ED. Kodwa i-ED, njengoko sisazi, linyathelo nje lokugqibela lokwehla ngokuthe ngcembe.
[Wabuyela emva kweenyanga ezingekho noonopopayi. Ekuqaleni, akukho mpawu.] Kancinci kodwa ngokuqinisekileyo, ukuxhalabisa kwam kwanda. Uxinzelelo lwam, uphantsi kwamandla, ukuzithemba kwinqanaba eliphantsi. Ndaqala ukukhathazeka ngamazwi amancinci, angabonakaliyo okanye amaqhekeza ngokuqhelekileyo ndiza kugxotha. Xa ndabona nayiphi na imifanekiso, umfazi, intengiso kunye nentsingiselo encinane okanye ehlobene nokulala ngesondo, intliziyo yam yayiza kuqalisa uhlanga ... i-dopamine yokukhawuleza. KUNYE NEZIKHOMO ezingenakucingelwa ukuba zitshathwe ngokwesondo nakwonke ndaye ndikwazi ukufumana into evuselela kuyo.
Iminyaka bendinengxaki yokutshintsha kwemozulu, kunzima ukugxila kunye 'nenkungu yengqondo'. Ingathi ngokuhamba kweminyaka ndiye ndathula. Ndandihlala ndicinga ukuba inokwenzeka ngenxa yeminyaka yokusetyenziswa gwenxa kwe-cannabis xa ndandisemncinci, kodwa ngoku emva kwesithintelo sangaphambili sokungaziboni ndiyazi ukuba ukuhambisa amalungu esono ngokugqithileyo kuye kwaba ngunobangela. Eyona nto iyicaphukisayo kukuba amantombazana andifumana ndinomtsalane (uxolo ukuba kuvakala ngathi inentloko enkulu lol) ndihlala ndiyenza namantombazana ayo nje ndinoloyiko lokuyiqhubela phambili kwaye ndingakwazi ukuyenza. Andifane ndifumane 'umhlaba wokwenyani'. Kuyamangalisa kuba bendinokwenza nentombazana kwaye ndingafumani ulwakhiwo kodwa ndinokukhangela ngokulula kwaye yena ifoto yakhe kwi-Intanethi kwaye ufumane iinkuni kwangoko.
Ngaphambi kokuqalisa kwakhona, kufuneka ndikuxelele abantu ukuba kwakungenakwenzeka ukuba ndifumane ukulungiswa kwintombazana ebomi bokwenene. Kufana noononophala kwandigxotha kakhulu kangangokuba andinakukwazi ukufumana i-horny ekucingeni ukuba ndilala ngesantombazana kunye nabantombazana abathandekayo ebomini bokwenene.
PIED yonyango: Kuyinyani. Hlala apho kwaye uya kuphinda wonwabe kunye neqhude lakho. Ingathabatha ixesha. Kufuneka ube nomonde. Ndandinayo neprotatitis ngenxa yokuxhuzula kakhulu. Oko kwahamba nayo xa ndayeka ukuxubha amaxesha ama-5 ngosuku. https://www.yourbrainonporn.com/age-38-ed-cured-increased-confidence-making-eye-contact-feeling-awesome-more-sociable
Uninzi lweempawu zokukhutshwa kobugqwetha zenzeke ngexesha lendingenanto yokuba ndandicinezelekile ukukhutshwa koonobumba. Ndandiyeka nje ukunyaniseka, njengokuba kwakuqhelekileyo isiko xa ndiqala ukutshata nentombazana entsha. Kubonakala ukuba, ndandingazange ndibe naloo nqanaba lokulutha. Gcina ukhumbule ukuba i-90% yale mpawu yinto engazange ndiyenze ebomini bam. Qhubeka ukhumbule ukuba zonke zeempawu ziye zahluthwa ngokupheleleyo, okanye ziphuculwe kakhulu, ngeli nqanaba (iintsuku ezingama-13 akukho noononophala / i-masturbation / orgasm):
- Uxinzelelo - ukuqina kwesifuba, uloyiko, ukubetha kwentliziyo ephezulu kunye noxinzelelo lwegazi ·
- Imvakalelo yesiphelo esizayo, Ukunyanzeliswa kwinqanaba lokuzibulala ·
- Izimpawu zokunyamekela okungapheliyo ·
- Ukungakwazi ukonwaba kuyo nayiphi na into - ukutya, ukufunda, ukubukela imovie, ukudlala umculo okanye ukwenza umsebenzi wobugcisa (ndiyimvumi kunye negcisa) ·
- Ukunandipha okwenkqisayo kwentlungu
- Ukuphuthelwa kakhulu - iiyure ezili-18 zokulala kwisithuba seeveki ezintathu ·
- Ukunyusa ukunyuka kwe-masturbate-ukuya kumaxesha e-10 ngosuku
- Ukudinwa ngokwesondo-ukulahleka kwe-libido, ukuphulukana nomdla ebomini, ityhalarha kunye neentlungu zentlungu, kodwa ukonyusa umnqweno wokuphulula amaphambili (phawula loo mntu) ·
- ADD · Intetho engabonakaliyo ·
- Iingxaki zokugaya ii-headaches
Ndenze umonakalo emzimbeni kwam. Isiqwenga sam siqale ukuhlakulela imifuno. Ndaya kukhangela ngonyaka emva kokuba ndiqalise i-PMO, kwaye ugqirha wathi ndine-veicose veins, kwaye ukuba ngenxa yokuhlaziya umzimba.
Kuyaphambana ukuba kungakanani ukwenza ukuba ndizive ndikhathazekile.
Ndigula kwaye ndidiniwe yile shit - yokuphinda ubuye, yokufuna ukutshintsha, yokulala ebhedini emva kwe-wank ndiziva ngathi ndilahlekile, ukubukela abahlobo bam benokwenyani, ubudlelwane obusenyongweni, ukubukela abanye bonwabile ngobusuku obunye- Ukunyuka, ukuhlala ndiyintombi ngenxa ye-porno-eyabangela u-ED, ukuba ndiyoyika kakhulu ukulandela intombazana yam yamaphupha am, ndiyazi ukuba nokuba ndimfumene ndiza kumphulukana naye njengoko ndilahlekile I-ex yam, konke ngenxa yokuncanca P kunye nokuFucker M kunye nokuFucker O.
Ndineenombolo ezintle ze-phobias. Ukukhokela ubomi obukhuselekileyo kukuvumela ukuba ubenabo, (bendidla) ukoyika oonomeva, iinyosi, nantoni na evakala ngathi ngunomeva okanye inyosi, izigcawu, izimbungulu, ukuwa, iintlungu, amantombazana, kwaye okona kubi kakhulu, imixholo ephuma esiswini emlonyeni (emetophobia). Kodwa ukusukela ngemini ye-15/16, banciphisile ngokubonakalayo. Iinyosi, zingade ziqhwaye, kungasathethwa ke ngokubaleka. I-emetophobia yam iphucule kakhulu, akukho kuhlaselwa kukuphakuzela, akukho kuxhalaba rhoqo, nditsho nokubona loo nto ingandikhathazi konke oko.
Ndandingumlutha wokuhlaziya i-masturbation ekubeni ndingu 16 (ngoku ndiyi-25). Umlutha akaqali ukuchaza into endiyenayo. Kwaqala ngezinto zokwelapha kwaye zagqitywa nazo zonke iintlobo zezilwanyana ezingcolileyo. Kwimizuzu ye-3-4 ngeveki kwi-8-9 ngamaxesha ngosuku (iibhola zam zibuhlungu kakhulu ngosuku olulandelayo)
I-pmo / ed yam yayimbi kakhulu ndicinga ukuba bendine-asexual iminyaka eliqela. Andizange nditsaleleke kwabasetyhini ebomini bokwenyani kuba bendinazo zonke izinto ezazishushu endandizifuna ukuzehlisa kum online. Kuba andikhange nditsaleleke kwabafazi bokwenyani bendikuluhlobo oluthile lwendawo yentlambululo-miphefumlo, apho mna ukuba yi-asexaul yayiyiyo kuphela into evakalayo. Emva koko kwenzeka into kwaye ndavuka ngenye imini ndathi AKUKHO nto kufuneka itshintshe, NDIDINGA iqabane ebomini bam, ndifuna umfazi athande ukuthandwa, ndifuna ukuba ngumntu obalulekileyo komnye umntu, naye abe ndim. Ukusukela ngoko ndiye ndadibana ne-SO yam kwaye ndonwabile kunangaphambili.
Ukubheja kuthatha lukhulu kum, ngalo lonke ixesha ndigqitha kwelinye andinyanisekanga andazi nokuba ndiza kuphila na engqondweni. Ndivakalelwa ngathi ndilahlekile, ndibiza imali ngathi ndiphulukana nengqondo. Ndihamba ngokubhaka iiyure, ndisithi kufuneka ndiyeke, kwaye emva kwemizuzwana engama-30 ndibuyela kuyo. Ndiza kuziva ngathi ndikwinkungu phantse hayi apho, nokuba namava okuphulula amaphambili kwi-porn. Kwaye lonke ihlabathi elijikelezileyo liya kutshabalalisa. Kunjengokuba ndifumana umbono wetonela ukuya kuthi ga kwinqanaba apho kungekho nto ive nokuba iyinyani. Andiziva ndiyinyani; iincoko azive ziyinyani; izandi zibonakala zikude. xa umnqweno undibetha, andikhumbuli okwenzekileyo, ukuba ndilahlekelwe njani lixesha elininzi. Ndigula kangakanani emva kokungaboni ilanga kunye nomoya omtsha ngeentsuku, okanye ndingatyi kakuhle iiveki. Ndibe neentloni kangakanani ukuya ekuphazamiseni ngakumbi iphonografi, izinto ebendingazukuzifumana kude ukuba zikhangeleke njengesiqhelo.
Kufana nomjikelo, ngalo lonke ixesha ndenza i-masturbate kanzima, ngakumbi kwi-porn, kwiintsuku ezimbalwa ezizayo ndiziva ndiswele kwaye ndingazithembanga ngam… .Eyona inde kakhulu endakhe ndaya kuyo yayiziiveki ezimbini. Ndaphinda ndabuya umntu, ixesha elininzi. Isizathu sokuba ndihlale ndibuyela kule nto ingekho-PMO kukuba ndikhumbula nje "ukuzithemba" kwam kakhulu. Lo mfo uqinisekileyo othembekileyo uhlala evela malunga nemini ye-2 = D… .. Kodwa kunzima kakhulu ukuxhathisa isilingo se-PMO.
Kwiminyaka, ndandisoloko ndicinga ukuba ndiyifakile ngenxa yokuba ndandiyindoda. Ndandisoloko ndicinga ukuba ukuba ndingayifumana intombazana ukuba ilale nam, andiyi kuba fap. Ke ndiza kuzithethelela ngokucinga ngokuba ndiza kuyeka ukubhabha xa ndifumana intombi / umfazi wesini / umfazi. Kodwa ndiye ndabona ukuba kutsha nje bendilala ndilala nomntu endisebenza naye Kabini! Kwaye ke mna fucking waya ekhaya waza wahlwaywa ngelixa ecinga ukulala naye! Eyona nto iphazanyisiweyo yile yokuba khange ndiqonde ukuba uyikhuphe njani le nto kude kube izolo. Ngenxa yokuba ukuba ndandidla ngenxa yokuba ndifuna ukulala ngesondo, ndiza kuhamba nayo, kunjalo? Ndabona ukuba ndiyinyani ngenxa yokuba mna baye ukuya. Ndiyindoda engamakhoboka kwaye kufuneka ndiyeke.
Ndandisoloko ndifumana i-nosebleeds yonke ixesha, yonke imihla kunye nexesha lonke ndazivuthela iipumlo zam. Emva kokuyeka ukuhlambalaza / ukuhlaziya i-masturbation kwexesha elithile ndaqaphela ukuba ukuphuma kwam ekhaleni kwimizuzu engapheliyo. Njalo xa ndibuyela kwakhona, ndandiphalaza.
Ndangena kubudlelwane kwiminyaka esibhozo eyadlulayo, kwaye oko kwagungqa iminyaka yokuqala ye-5-iingxaki zaqala emva koko. Sasikude, ngenxa yomsebenzi wakhe, kwaye ukuzihlukanisa kunye nokungabikho kobuhlobo kwandibuyisela kwi-PMO ngexesha elikhulu. Ndaye ndafumanisa ukuba ingxoxo yevidiyo edibeneyo yayiphezulu kakhulu. Ke yahamba unyaka okanye njalo. Emva koko, xa sibuyele kwindawo enye kwakhona, ndaye ndabona ukuba ndiyicaphukisile ingqondo yam. Ndilahlekelwe kukuzithemba kwaye ukutsala kwam kuye kwancipha kakhulu. Ndandinokuziva ukuba ngenxa yokuba ndandizithembile kwaye ndonwabile ngaphambili, kwaye konke kwase kuqale ukunyamalala. Kananjalo, ngaphandle kwesizathu, kuchaphazele ubudlelwane bethu. Khange ndiphinde ndivuswe nangayo nantoni na. Yeyiphi eyanya ixesha elikhulu.
Ndiziva ndonwabile kwaye ndisoyikeka nje xa ndizinkcinkca ngotywala. Oku kuyadika. Ungazikhathazi nangubani na ekhaya. Ukuphepha incoko. Yenza nantoni na oyifunayo. Zonwabele. Ndiyokulala; Ndidiniwe."
Imiphumo ye-PMO kum yayi: ukulahleka kwamandla okuthanda kakhulu, ndiziva ndidandathekile, ndididekile, ndididekile, ndingafuni ukuthetha nabantu, kuba ndiziva ndilusizi kwaye ndineentloni ngam. Kufana nokuba ndikrokrela ukuba bayayazi ngemeko yam kwaye ke baziva ngathi bayaphambana. Ndihlala ndingaphumi kakhulu, kodwa ngeentsuku ze-PMO ndichithe phantse yonke imini ngaphakathi kwigumbi lam lokulala umnyango uvaliwe kwaye ngamanye amaxesha nditsibile ukutya. Andizange ndikhuthazwe ukwenza nayiphi na into encinci, ndive ukuba ndifuna ibhinqa ebomini bam, kodwa kunzima kakhulu ukuba ndiphume ndiye kuzama ukulala nentombazana. Ngelo xesha, ndimamele umculo kuphela (ndiyintloko yentsimbi) kwaye ndatya. Andizange ndisebenzise kwaye xa ndiziva ndidandathekile ndandidla nje kakhulu okanye kakhulu. Ndingumntu othothisa izinto kakubi. Ngexesha lenyanga ephelileyo, xa ndiphulula amalungu esini iphonografi ndikufumanisa kunzima kakhulu ukuba ndiguqulwe kwaye xa ndithe ndaziva, ndaziva ndingonwabanga. Andicingi ukuba ndinayo i-ED, kodwa i-porn ngokuqinisekileyo iyandikhathaza. Kuya kufuneka ukuba yenzeke mva nje, kuba bendidiniwe kakhulu, ndilele kwaye ndingenasizathu, ngenxa yoko ndiye ndanikezela kwi-PMO, kuba bendingenanto ndingayenza.
Yaya kwi-porn ye-softcore kwi-hardcore porn. Ndiza kujonga i-porn kunye ne-masturbate ngaphezu kweeyure ezingama-3 ngosuku. Yiyo yonke into endandicinga ngayo ngexesha lasemini. Ndiyenzile ndade ndayokukrala nokuba ndopha. Khange indiyeke lonto. Ndenze oku mhlawumbi iminyaka emi-5 phantse yonke imihla. Ndingaya iintsuku ezimbalwa ndingakhange ndiyijonge ngamanye amaxesha. Ndiza kuhlala ndisitsho kum emveni koko ukuba ndiza kuyeka kwaye bekungalunganga kodwa ngobusuku obulandelayo bendiya kuhlala ndiyixhasa kwaye ndiyenze kwakhona.
Ndineengxaki zokuxhalaba, kwaye ukudakumba kwakuhamba kancinci ukuya kwinqanaba apho kwakuyingxaki kwaye ndandiqala ukuphelelwa lithemba. Ndaye ndalwa nobudlelwane obusondeleyo, ukuya kuthi xhaxhe apho ndiziva ndingonwabanga ukuchukunyiswa ngomnye umntu. Andinalwazi lokuba kutheni. Ndizabalazile nyani ngokudibana kwamehlo kwaye ndandiba neentloni kunye nam, de kwaba kukufumana le ndawo ndingadibananga ne-PMO. Ngoku, imeko yam iyahambelana, malunga ne-6 ndingathi. Ukudibana kwamehlo kulula kakhulu, umsebenzi ungcono kakhulu kwaye ndicinga ukuba ndisemgceni wentengiso ezayo.
Malunga neentsuku ezintathu ezidlulileyo ndaqala ukuphulula amalungu esini, kwaye malunga nesiqingatha sendlela ndaya kwincopho yam ndaqala ukuba nentloko ebuhlungu endakha ndaziva, eyayigxile kakhulu kwaye isemva kwentloko yam. Ndiyifumene nesihogo, ndiza kulinda kwaye ndiyenze kamva. Ingxaki ndinengxaki efanayo. Ndazinyanzela ngayo, kwaye intloko ebangelwe yile ihlala malunga neeyure ezili-15. Ndizamile kwakhona ngengomso, kwavela laa ntlungu. Ngoku, ndiyazi ukuba iintlungu ziya kuthi ekugqibeleni ziphele, kodwa ukuba ndizakuhamba ixesha elide ukuphelisa iintlungu, kutheni ungazami ukuyeka imikhwa yam? Ndiza kusondela kabini ngemini ukuba ngumndilili wam, kwaye kuphuma kulawulo. Ukuqala
Kudala ndibukele iphonografi okoko i-intanethi ibikho. Ndineminyaka engama-22 ngoku. Ayichaphazelanga impumelelo yam yobungcali- ndiphumelele ngokwenene kwibala, kodwa ubomi bam bonke bland. Akukho mfazi okwangoku kwaye akukho namnye ubonayo. Izinto ezifanele ukuhlalelwa ziphelisiwe. Ukuthetha ngokunyanisekileyo, ixesha elide ndide ndihambe ngaphandle kokuhlambalaza i-pornography malunga neeveki ze-1.5. Ndizamile ukuyeka amatyeli amaninzi kodwa ndohluleka. Akukho suku ludlulayo apho ndingacingi malunga nolunye uhlobo lokwanelisa kwangoko-nokuba yeyamanyala, iziyobisi, utywala, imidlalo yevidiyo njlnjl.
Ndiye ndabelana ngesondo iminyaka eyi-12. Ndade ndaza malunga ne-15. Khawufane ucinge ukuba ingakanani i -fookfo yengqondo elungiselelwe intshontsho… Ayilunganga ngokwaneleyo ukuba ingakususa. Khawufane ucinge ukuba ingakanani i-mindfook ekum, le ntshontsho ishushu ayinakundisusa… wtf ever, ndizakuyibamba ngentsimbi iyure, akunjalo? Inzame leyo. Ndingayithengisa yonke kwakhona ukuze ndikwazi ukugqobhoza i-nut KANYE nomfazi. Kanye nje, kwaye ndiza kufa ndonwabile. Ngamafutshane, ndayeka kuba ndingaba kunye nomfazi, ndingakwazi ukuyifumana. Okanye awukwazi ukugqiba. Okanye ungabhikici naluphi na uhlobo lokuvuselela / ukoneliseka / uyolo kwisini.
Ubona abantu abaninzi banenkxalabo malunga nobukhulu bepenitri okanye banokulindela kakhulu amantombazana enza izenzo zesondo zendoda ngenxa yezinto abazibonayo kwi-pornography.
Ndandinomhlobo owayejikeleza uMbindi Mpuma kunye noMzantsi Merika unyaka endathetha naye ngalo mbandela, kwaye wandinika ukubonakala okumangalisayo, ngokungathi wayeyazi kakuhle into endithetha ngayo, kodwa engazange ave mntu uyithethayo . Lo mhlobo uthe khange ajonge iphonografi ngalo lonke ixesha, kuba wayelala / ehlala nabahlobo kulo lonke uninzi lwazo kwaye engenalo nethuba. Uthe emva kokuba ebuyile waqala ukujonga iphonografi kwakhona kwaye waziva onwabile okwethutyana emva koko, kwaye umdlalo wakhe wentlalontle wenqaba njengesiphumo.
(Ingxelo yeentsuku ze-90) Xa ndicinga ngesondo kwaye ndicinga malunga nokuhlangana okwenene ngokwesondo kunye nabafazi bokwenyani. Kwaye xa ndisiya esidlangalaleni ndiye ndithathe ingqalelo enkulu yobuhle babafazi. Kwaye ukuvusa endikufumanayo akufani nokugcwala i-porn-buzz eyayingeyiyo inkanuko yesini, kodwa umnqweno wokubuyela emva kwescreen sekhompyuter kunye neebhlukhwe zam ezijikeleze amaqatha am.
(Ubudala 40) Ezinye izibonelelo ze-nofap ndizibonileyo; Iimvakalelo zam ziphuculwe, andixinezelekanga ngalo lonke ixesha ndinje, andinabuntu. Ngokwasemzimbeni, ndiziva ndibhetele amaxesha asisigidi; Ndihleli nditshixiwe kwindawo eqinileyo ethe tyaba phambi kwekhompyuter kangangeeyure ngeveki yaphazamisa umqolo wam kunye namalungu, ke ngokombono wedwa ndingcono kakhulu. Kwaye ukusebenza ngaphandle, ndibuyile kubunzima bam bekholeji. Kwaye ndine-SO ngoku kubudlelwane bexesha elide, eyam yokuqala, kwaye kuyamangalisa!
Kwakukho amaxesha apho ndafika kwinqanaba lokuba ndingafuni ukuhlala kwakhona, uyazi. Zonke iintloko, izandla ezithintekayo, ukulahlekelwa kwengcinezelo kunye netoni yezinye iziphumo ezinobungozi ngokukhwabanisa kwandenza ubomi bam bunzima.
Ndiye ndavelisa umnqweno wokukrwitshwa / ukutsala iinwele / ukuphatha indoda / ukuba ndithetha inyani / i-BDSM njl. / ongenabundlobongela / ongenabundlobongela. Ezi zinto zazisetyenziselwa ukundikhupha. Ngoku ndiyayithanda kwaye ndizifumana ndifuna ukwenza izinto ezinjalo kubafazi. Nokuba ndabelana ngesondo ne-gf entsha, ndifuna ukuyikrwitsha kancinci. (Ndayithanda ngethamsanqa kum). Ngaba ezi ziya kuhamba? Ndifuna ukuba, ndiziva ngathi baya kuhamba ngendlela eya kuneliseka, kuba ndivakalelwa kukuba andinakukwazi u-O okanye ndivuyiswe ngokwaneleyo ukuba andinako.
Khawufane ucinge ukuba ulikhoboka le-heroin, emva koko unike loo mntu unikezo simahla simahla. Akufuneki ukuba, emva kokuba ndifumene isantya esiphezulu, yehla ngokukhawuleza ngokukhawuleza. Ndandihlala ndedwa, ndindedwa kwaye ndisoyika ukudibana nabantu. Nanini na xa izinto zisiba nzima ekhaya, ndandiye ndibuyele kubudlelwane obungaqhelekanga endandibukwenzile kunye neefestile zam endizithandayo. Ngeempawu ze-POV, phantse ngathi ubukhona. Njengoko i-dopamine iba buthuntu, kuya kufuneka ufune ngakumbi (ekugqibeleni kubi) iphonografi. Xa ndiqala, i-porn-cut cut-cut elula yayenzela mna. Ngaphambi kokuba ndiyeke, kwakufuneka ndibone inzondo ngokukhawuleza kunye nomsindo ngaphambi kokuba ndibe nzima. Emva kwexesha elininzi elichithwe kwi-smut, ndiye ndaziva ndiziva ndingonwabanga, kwaye oku kukhokelela kukuzithemba okuncinci. Ungajonga njani intombazana entle esweni (okanye nabani na) emva kokuba wazi ukuba ubukele nje intombazana ibanjwa zii-dudes ezili-13? Ungahlala njani noncumo olonwabisayo kwiholide zosapho okanye kwimihla yokuzalwa usazi ukuba udiniwe njengesihogo ukuhlala kude kakhulu ukubukela iividiyo ezingamanyala?
Kwiminyaka yokuqala ye-7 ye-masturbation andinayo ingxaki enkulu, kodwa ukunyaniseka umzimba wam waqala ukubuthathaka kancane kancane. Emva kokugcoba i-masturbation, ndafumana le ntlungu ephantsi, ndaziva ndihlaziyekile. Kwaye xa ndiqala ukulala nentombazana, intlungu yangemva yandifumana okanye ipenisi yam iyahamba. I-ED yam i-copulatory i-ED yaqala xa ndifumanisa i-porn. Xa ndibe ngumlutha, ndanduluka ngokukhawuleza kuzo zonke iintlobo zoononophala. Ndabona ukungakwazi ukugxila esikolweni, ndiziva ndilele xa ndiqala ukufunda incwadi yam. Ndaba soo ndibacaphukisa kwaye ndigwenxa nabahlobo bam neentombi zam.
Ndithetha nomntakwethu malunga nendlela ama-boob shots kwii-movie ze-80 (kwii-80's) awayezisebenzisa ukuyenza kubafana abafuna ukubuyela kuyo. Ngoku ufuna eyona shiit imbi kakhulu ukuphuma kuba yonke enye into ayonelisi. Kwaye oku kuxhaphakile ebantwaneni abafana neminyaka eli-12 ubudala. Ewe!
[Mid 30s] Kwiminyaka yokugqibela ye-3 okanye ye-4 bendihlala ndisebenzisa iisayithi ze-intanethi kakhulu yonke imihla, ngamanye amaxesha ukuphulula amaphambili ngamaxesha ama-3 ngosuku. Iimpawu zam zezi: 1) ipenisi engacacanga (intombazana yehlile kum ezinyangeni ezimbalwa ezidlulileyo kwaye andinakuziva nto) 2) Andiyenzi nto i-3) Ndivulelwa ngakumbi ngamaphupha am kunokuba ngabasetyhini bokwenene 4) ii-erections ezibuthathaka 5) zinokuphuma kuphela xa ndisebenzisa ezam izandla- andiva kwanto ukuba intombazana izama ukundenzela yona.
Kunyaka ophelileyo kuye kwanzima kakhulu, bendikwenza phantse yonke imihla njengeeyure ze-5-6, ngamanye amaxesha inde. Naxa ndinethuba lokwabelana ngesondo nentombi yam ndikhetha iphonografi. Ndiyakhumbula xa ndiza kuba ne-2 erections mihla le, kwaye kutshanje andinakuba nakho ngaphezulu kwesinye, kodwa uninzi lwamaxesha bendingenawo umnqweno wesini. Kwakumalunga naxa ndicinga ukuba ndifuna uncedo.
Kwixesha elidlulileyo ndiye ndaphawula ubuhle, ewe, kodwa andikaze NDIMNQWENELE ukuba nentombazana. Imifanekiso engamanyala kum yayiye apho ndalathisa khona konke ukuqhuba kwam ngokwesondo. Yonke into enxulumene nezesondo kum ibingamanyala. Andizange ndicinge ngam, lo mfo, ngale d * ck elala ngesondo lokwenyani nentombazana yokwenene. Ke emva kweentsuku ezimbalwa kwinkqubo, ndaziva ngathi yeyona nto yendalo ukuyenza. Isihogo ewe kunokwenzeka ukuba ndilale. Esihogweni ewe kuninzi amantombazana ngaphandle apho afuna ukuba nam. Ngesiquphe, iingcinga eziyoyisayo zibonakala zibubudenge kunye nexesha lokuchitha. Kwixesha elidlulileyo bendingenakuze ndiqonde kwaye ndinxibelelane nenkoliso yamadoda endidibene nawo… bendisoloko ndiziva ngathi bahlobo lokuxhuzula kwaye andazi ukuba ndingaliphatha kanjani “kakuhle ibhinqa.” Ngoku, ndiye ndaziva noko baziva. Kwaye kuhle.
Ndiya kwenza i-5 ejaculations ngosuku ngamanye amaxesha i-8 okanye i-9 okanye i-10! Ngelo xesha ndandimncinci kwi-13, kwaye nanjengoko ndandikhula nge-14, 15, 16, kwaye kungekude kwakudala. Umzimba wam wawungekho kwimeko yokulala ngesondo kodwa ndivele ndavula i-hardcore iphonografi ndaphinda ndiyinyanzela amaxesha ngamaxesha ngaloo mini malunga ne-2 okanye i-3 ngosuku. Ndisenentlungu yokutshisa ndiyibiza ngokuba "ngumnqa wentlungu" apho ndinokuziva khona ukusuka kwimpundu yam ukuya kwi-perineum yam nge-scrotum yam nangaphandle kwepipi yam. Intlungu ebukhali xa indibetha. Ewe ewe andizibandakanyi ngesondo kwaphela kwaye i-100% isempilweni ngokokutsho kukagqirha. Imvakalelo yam yeyokuba i-urethra yam iyavutha kwi-ejaculations egqithisileyo. Yileyo ndlela ndizonakalise ngayo. Ndivakalelwa kukuba iprotrate yam idumbile kwaye ngandlel 'ithile ichaphazela iintlungu zam. Ngaba nditshise umngxunya emzimbeni wam ongasokuze uzilungise ngokwam kumakhulu eejaculation ezinyanzelweyo ngoku ezibase umlilo phakathi kwemilenze yam?
(phendula kwiforum) Andizange ndibenamaphupha amanzi de ndide ndibemdala, ndiyalibala kanye xa bendinayo eyam yokuqala njengoko kwakudala. Ndiphulula amalungu esini kakhulu iitanki zazingenanto. Ndiyazi kakuhle intlungu oyivayo, cinga ixesha layo lokuthatha ikhefu ekuphulula amalungu esini. ANDILOGqirha kodwa nazi iingcinga zam. Idlozi ine-asidi ngoko inokucaphukisa imibhobho yakho. Ndambona ugqirha ngokungathi ndandichama iglasi kodwa ndaxelelwa ukuba ndinokuba nokuqhwaba izandla. Yazicoca ngokwayo xa ndiyekile ukuphulula amaphambili kwaye kunqabile ukuba amadoda afumane usulelo lomchamo. Ndifunde kwenye indawo, zama ukungacholi i-30 mins ngaphambi okanye emva kwe-orgasm. Oku kunciphise ukucaphuka kwam, kodwa ndinciphisile ixesha emva kokuziva ngathi icoca iityhubhu. Ukusela amanzi amaninzi kunye nokunciphisa iziselo ezine-caffeine kubandakanya i-coke njlnjl. Isenzo sokuphulula amaphambili sinokuyenzakalisa i-dick yakho kwaye siyenze ibe buhlungu, ngakumbi ukubambelela kwakho kulungile njengam. Emva kokuzinkcinkca ngotywala ndicinga ukuba umsipha we-orgasm ujikeleze iprostate uyadinwa kwaye ube buhlungu. Kulungile eyam inexesha elidlulileyo. Kwakhona, ikhefu lisombulule.
Ngaba ukhona omnye umntu ophawule ukuba bayalulaza okanye bathintithe xa bethetha emva kweFap? Andikwazi ukuthetha kakuhle kude kube semva kweeveki ze-3-4 zeNoFap. Kude kube lelo xesha ndaye ndawarhabaxa amagama am okanye ndidibanise amagama am xa ndizama ukuthetha nabanye abantu.
Kule minyaka ingama-23 idlulileyo bendikhathazwa yimpilo, umkhuhlane, umkhuhlane, iintsholongwane, phantse amadlala ahlala edumbile. Kwakhona oku kudibana kwamalungu kunye nezihlunu, ukudinwa, uxinzelelo lwentlalo, inkungu yengqondo, inkumbulo embi kunye noxinzelelo. Inye into endandizenzela yona yayikukuthanda kwam amandla, bendihlala ndisazi ukuba ndingangumntu ongcono, ndenze okungakumbi, ndenze izinto ezininzi, ndikhuthaze abantu abaninzi. Ndizibonile iimvuthuluka zobungqina kodwa bendihlala ndiziva ndithintelwa yimpilo yam egulayo. Ndizamile izinto ezininzi ngaphambi kokuba ndingafumani fap, uninzi lobomi bam bendikukhanyela ukuba ndingaphila ngaphandle koononophala ndiyeke ukuphulula amalungu esini kodwa ndizincothule nje kwezi zinto ze-2 indinike impilo engaphaya kwayo nantoni na endinayo ndinamava ngaphambili ebomini bam nokuzithemba / kwezakhono zentlalo ezenze ukuba ndizinciphise ngokwam ngelixa ndishumayela ndiphuma kum. http://www.reddit.com/r/NoFap/comments/2ishna1306/no_fap_made_me_well_again_thank_you_no_fap/
Ndathetha nomhlobo endandihlala ndabelana naye nge-porn kwi-HS kunye nomnye umhlobo osenyongweni. Bonke banamava afanayo. Ndicinga ukuba ukuba aba bantu baninzi banxulumene no-ED ... thina kwi-YBOP ngokwenene siyimizekelo yokuqala yokuphilisa umlutha. Inye eya kuthi ekugqibeleni ibhalwe phantsi kwaye ibangele umsantsa kwindlela esibona ngayo isini ngokusebenzisa iilensi zethu ezandayo zombane.
Ndihlala ndilawula iiveki ezimbini okanye ezintathu zokungabukeli iphonografi kodwa ke umfanekiso omncinci, phantse uhlala ungenabungozi phantsi kweemeko eziqhelekileyo, kubangela into engqondweni yam. Emva koko ndifumana indlela yokunyuka kulowo mfanekiso. Emva koko kuloo mfanekiso. Kuze kube ekugqibeleni ndiyayeka kwaye ndingene ngaphakathi, kwaye kwisithuba seentsuku ezimbini okanye ezintathu emva komfanekiso wokuqala wesondo ndinzulu njengokuba ndandinjalo, ndisiya ngqo emva komsebenzi, ngaphambi kokulala, kude kube sebusuku. Kwaye ngalo lonke ixesha ndigqiba ndifuna ukungcwaba intloko yam kwaye yonke into endinokucinga ngayo yindlela endiyicaphukela ngayo iphonografi kwaye ndiyifungela ngonaphakade, kuphela ukuwa kwakhona emva kosuku. Ndiye ndashiya ikhompyuter yam kubazali bam 'kodwa ngamanye amaxesha ndiyayifuna kunye nam kwaye kuthatha iintsuku ezimbalwa ukuba ndiphinde ndiwe kwakhona. Ndakhe ndayeka ukubukela iphonografi kunye ne-masturbation kangangeenyanga ezisithoba ngokususa ngokoqobo zonke iintlobo zobomi ebomini bam. Kwakunzima ngokumangalisayo kwaye andikazuzi kwanto naphi na ukusukela ngoko. Ndivakalelwa kukuba ngoku awunakuyeka unaphakade, kwaye lukhetho phakathi kokubandezeleka kodwa uzive ungcono malunga nawe okanye unengxaki yokuzonwabisa nokuzithiya, kodwa ubuncinci ungaphindi ulwe nayo. Ndiyayithiya i-porn ngokuthanda. Ndiyazi ukuba xa ndibukele ndiyarhoxa kwaye ndinomsindo omkhulu. Ndifuna ukwaphula ikhompyuter yam kwisiqingatha kwaye uxelele wonke umntu okujikelezile (kubandakanya abazali bam) ukuba batshixe unxibelelwano lwe-intanethi. Ndifumana i-smartphone kungekudala kwaye ndiyoyika ukuba iya kuba ngumtyholi ezandleni zam ebiza igama lam. Ndikhe ndajongana nokulutha iziyobisi kwixa elidlulileyo kodwa kufuneka nditsho ukuba nangona iphantse yandibulala andikaze ndikuthiye kwanto malunga nam kunye nokulutha njengokuba bendithiyile iphonografi. Xa ndayeka iziyobisi kunye notywala ndaya kuhlaziya iinyanga ezine kunye nesiqingatha sendlu iinyanga ezintathu. Ngaba ungalindela ukuba ikhoboka leziyobisi lihlale licocekile ukuba ungalithumela ekhaya kwangelo lixa lifike ngalo ukuba libuyele kwimeko yesiqhelo, kwaye ekhaya laliphethe ibrifkheyisi epakishwe kukutya okungapheliyo kwecocaine kwaye kwafuneka ayivule le brifkheyisi yonke imihla ukulungiselela ezinye iinjongo?
Bendingazi ngokungazi ukuba ndinomlutha wamanyala oneminyaka eli-13 de kwimpelaveki ephelileyo ndicofe… .Kwiminyaka endandiyiyo ne-maniac yesini. Bendiqala ukulala ngesondo qho ebusuku ndingena-hiccups… .Iminyaka esi-8 edlulileyo ibileyona imbi kakhulu; Ndandixinezelekile, ndixhalabile, kwaye ndinomsindo, ndididekile kwaye ndingazi ukuba kuqhubeka ntoni ngam… .Kunyaka ophelileyo ndiye ndabona ukuba izinto endizenzileyo zibuthathaka kwaye Ndine-ejaculation yexesha elide.
Ndayeka ukubukela iphonografi ndedwa ngenxa yokuba ndafunyaniswa ndine-epididymitis, okwesihlandlo sesibini. I-Epididymitis "kukudumba kombhobho ngasemva kwetyhalarha eligcina kwaye liphathe isidoda" kwaye kubuhlungu kakhulu. Ndicinga ukuba ndine-epididymitis kuba bendibetha ngendlela rhoqo. Manditsho nje ukuba ayikho enye into eneentloni emva koko uye kwaGqirha ngenxa yeentlungu zebhola, kwaye emva koko kuvavanywa ii-STI's. Ugqirha wakho ubuza ukuba "ndagqibela nini ukwabelana ngesondo", kwaye uphendule, "ungaze, ndiyintombi enyulu."
Fumana iimpawu zokurhoxa ezothusayo emva kokuphulula amaphambili. Ndikufumanisa kunzima kakhulu ukukuchaza, njengoko eneneni kungekho magama okuchaza indlela endiziva ngayo. Kukungathandeki komzimba opheleleyo ukuva ukungakhathali, ukucaphuka okukhulu, ukungabi namonde, i-ADHD, inkungu yengqondo kunye nokunyanzelwa ukuba uphulula amaphambili. Ndinalo negama lale nto, “iihorny”. I-Horny ayililo igama elilungileyo kuba xa ndi-horny nyani, ndiyaphuma ekuhlaleni kwaye ndonwabile. Ama-horny afana nokunyanzeliswa okugqithisileyo kwi-MO, kwaye ungenzi enye into. Xa ndimncinci bendihlala ndiphuma namabala xa ndinemvakalelo. Andikhathali bathetha malunga nokuphulula amalungu esini ngokungabangeli mabala, kwimeko yam ndingakuxelela phantse nge-100% ukuba iyenzile, kwaye isenako. (Ndiphantse ama-40.)
Kwixesha elidlulileyo, ngokukodwa ukuba ndandidlala ngesibini (okanye sesithathu) ngenye imini, ukuba ndiza kufumana i-post-ejaculation ye-pelvic kunye neentlungu ze-prostate.
Ndiyindoda eyi-27 y / o yindoda. Ndandingumfundi oqhuba kakuhle kakhulu kwezemidlalo kunye nomdlali wezemidlalo, ngaphambi kokuba ndiqaliswe kwi-intanethi engasikelwanga mda ndineminyaka eli-13 ubudala. Amabanga am ehle, ndiyekile ukufunda iincwadi, ukudlala imidlalo, ukuzihlaziya. Ukusukela ngoko ubomi bam bujikeleze iividiyo, i-intanethi kunye neewebhusayithi zeendaba. Ngoku ndibuyela umva kancinci kwinkqubo.
(Umfazi omncinci) Ngaba uyazi ukuba kulula kangakanani amaphepha kunye nokugqibela xa ungathathi ikhefu le-porn rhoqo kwiiyure ezimbalwa?
Emva kobudlelwane bam bokugqibela obunxungupheleyo, kwaye ubudlelwane obunetyhefu ndiza kuyikhupha phantse yonke imihla amaxesha ngamaxesha ngemini. Ndigqibile ukuphulukana nemvakalelo ezantsi phaya, kwafuneka ndibethwe kukufa ukuya kwi-orgasm, kwaye khange ive nokuba ilungile. Bendihlala nditshaya kakhulu ngokhula kwiminyaka embalwa eyadlulayo kwaye bendihlikihla ngaphandle ngelixa ukuphakama yayikuphela kwendlela esaziva sanele. Ndicinga ukuba oku kuyabulala ii-receptors zakho zedopamine nangakumbi kuba unyanzelisa iziyobisi ukuzenza zibe namandla ngakumbi. Ingxelo yosuku lwe-30-IziBonelelo eziGcweleyo + ngezixhobo endizifumene ziluncedo
Namhlanje, ndiye ndacinga emva, ndaye ndabona ukuba le ngxaki igcwele kangakanani ixesha elide. Ndingu 21 kwaye ndichithe malunga nayo yonke imihla bendinedwa ndedwa malunga ne-13 yokuhambisa amalungu esini kwi-porno, rhoqo kwiiyure ezininzi ngosuku. Bonakalisile ubuhlobo, ubudlelwane kunye namathuba emsebenzini nasesikolweni.
Ndiyidlwengula kwiingcamango ixesha elide, kunzima ukuba ndiphendule ngendlela eqhelekileyo xa ndihlala nomfazi. Ndimele ndibambe enye yam iminqweno entlokweni yam, nangona ndihlala naye, ukugcina i-erection okanye ekugqibeleni i-ejaculate. Andinakwenza ngenye indlela.
Into endiyikholelwayo kukuba abantu bahlala beza kukhetha iithoyi / iphonografi kubudlelwane okanye umqulu wakudala engxoweni njengoko iingqondo zabo zikhula zindisholo. Kodwa abayiqondi lo gama nje bengekho kubudlelwane. Akukho kungqubana ngokucacileyo ukwenza ingxaki ibonakale. Ukuba oku kuyinyani ngokuyinxenye, mhlawumbi kukho ingxaki enkulu phaya ezisithunzela. Njengezigidi zabantu abanentsholongwane engakhange ibenze bazive begula okwangoku? Kuvakala ngathi yi-sci-fi.
Ngethuba leentsuku zokusetyenziswa kakubi kweepilisi, ndade ndafikelela kwindawo ephantsi kakhulu ebomini bam. Ndandiqhayisa (ukukhala, iingcamango zokuzibulala, ndandifumene ndaphuma ekholeji). Kutheni ndazi ukuba ndiza kuba yimifanekiso engamanyala ubomi bam bonke?
Umfazi uyaxakeka gqitha xa beya eMexico iiveki ezimbini, wahamba waza wathinta ulwandle ngasese kunye nomyeni wakhe wahlala egumbini, ebumnyameni waza wabukela iliso leveki ezimbini, kubonakala ukuba nguye okwenzayo ngoku.
Ndiqale ukujonga iphonografi, rhoqo, malunga neminyaka emihlanu eyadlulayo. Kuqala bekukho abafazi abahle, emva koko i-HC porn, emva koko ukufakwa okungathandekiyo, emva koko abagqithisi, emva koko abagxeki, emva koko ii-hermaphrodites, emva koko i-porn yabaselula, emva koko iimodeli ezincinci kunye nentolongo ngoku (kungekudala iza kuhamba). Njengoko iminyaka idlulile ndaba nomdla omncinci ekutshayeni amalungu esini kwaye ngakumbi nangakumbi ndinomdla ekuphandeni "izinto ezintsha". Ukuya esiphelweni, andikwazi kuhlala kwikhompyuter ngaphandle kokukhangela. Mna, mhlawumbi, i-masturbated kanye emva kweenyanga ezimbini (kwisitya) kodwa ndayibona imihla ngemihla. Xa ndijonga emva, andiboni ukuba kwenzeka njani ukuba ndingazi nto ngokungazi ukuba ndinengxaki.
Kwezi ntsuku, emva kokuchama, ndihlala ndiziva amandla amancinci, ukuphefumla okungaphantsi, imilenze ebuthathaka (akukho mandla emilenzeni ukuhamba ibanga elide), UXinzelelo, ukuzithemba okuphantsi, ukukhathazeka, UKUXHAPHAZA, awunamva wokunxibelelana nabanye (ukhetha ukuba ndedwa), ilizwi elibuthathaka, ukuthanda ukutya okukhulu.
Ndikhule ndingumntu othambileyo, ndinoburhalarhume obuncinci. Ndiqinisekile uninzi lwezi zinto zibangelwe kukusoloko ndikwazi ukukhupha amandla am ezesondo ukuba ndiqale ndaziva ndikhathazekile. Ukuba ndabona intombazana enomtsalane endifuna ukuyazi, endaweni yokuthetha naye kwakufuneka ndifumane igumbi lokuhlambela elikufutshane. Ndingabuyela ekhaya ndize ndilayishe ividiyo ye-porn. Ngoku ukuba andithethi nentombazana enomtsalane okanye ndenze isigqibo esibi malunga nentombazana, andikwazi ukubalekela kwilaptop yam okanye kwigumbi lokuhlambela ukuze ndizikhulule. Ndiyazi ukuba kuyavakala njengesiqhelo kodwa obu yayibubomi bam kungekudala. Ukuba ndibona intombazana emsebenzini okanye kwithala leencwadi, andizukucinga ngokuya kuye. Ndiza kuqhuba ngqo kwi-pornography. Kwakubuhlungu. Andikasondeli kangangoko ndifuna ukuba yindoda engatshatanga, kodwa ubuncinci ndiva intlungu yokungazami endaweni yokubaleka. Ukungachithi amandla akho ezesondo xa uziva ungonwabanga kuya kukwenza uzive ubaluleke ngakumbi kwaye ugcwele amandla.
Kwimizuzu embalwa edlulileyo ndandihamba esitratweni bendicinga ngendlela endandidiniwe ngayo ukuhlala ndiziva ngalo lonke ixesha. Kwakungakhathali ukuba ndilala kangakanani okanye ndisebenza kancinci kangakanani, bendisoloko ndiziva ndiphelile. Ngoku (iintsuku ezingama-27) andizange ndizive ndixakekile, nangaphambi kokuba ndilale. Khange ndiphelelwe ngamandla nje, bendicinyiwe emzimbeni, kulungile… ufumana umbono.
Isihogo, iimpawu zazikhona. Ndandinokuyifumana kuphela xa ehamba ze, isini somlomo besingasandikhuthazi (bendinokufumana nje i-orgasm xa ndizikhuphile) kwaye kuphela kwabasetyhini endinabo ebomini bam ngabo babesenza wonke umsebenzi kum. Ngoku ndingumfana okhangeleka kakuhle ke ndinabafazi ngaloo ndlela, kodwa bendisoloko ndiziva ndothukile xa kufikwa ekuziphatheni ngokwesondo (ukungakhathali). Ndikhumbula amantombazana esila iesile lawo kum kodwa ayizange ijike kum okanye abafazi bandinike amehlo kwaye ndaziva ndisoyika.
Mva nje bendibukela iphonografi yonke imihla kwakhona, kwaye ndinamandla aphantsi, ndonqena, kwaye andinasibindi. Izolo bendiphumile nabahlobo. Iibhulunwele ezingamawele. Mde kakhulu (njengobude kakhulu ukuba bambalwa kuphela amadoda kwiklabhu awayemde kunabo, mna ndingomnye wabo). Kushushu nyani. Bayonwaba, bayahleka, bancamisana nasemlonyeni. Simi kufutshane nabo, kwaye ndihlala ndifumana iliso elinamandla komnye wabo (okanye bobabini - andinakubahlula ngaphandle: P). Khange ndisondele kuba ndive nje ukuba ndinamandla wokungoneliseki. Andizange ndive namandla kunye nobudoda endandiziva emva kokuyeka iphonografi iiveki ezininzi.
Ndifikelele kwinqanaba apho i-pr0n yesiqhelo bendihlala ndiyithanda kwaye ndiyisebenzisa, esele i-kinky, ibingasondelanga ngokwaneleyo kulwakhiwo… izinto endizifunayo azidibananga kwaphela nolunye uhlobo lwesini.
Kwiintsuku ezidlulileyo ze-3-4 ndingakhange ndenze nto…. Ndibukele nje iphonografi ukuya kuthi ga kwiiyure ze-8 ngosuku, kwaye andisayi kuphinda ndiyithathe! Ndicinga ukuba ndikulungele ukuya ekuyekeni iphonografi okwexeshana.
Ke ndiye ndafumana i-buzz engapheliyo yenkungu yengqondo kule minyaka idlulileyo. Ngokusisiseko ndiqalise ukungena kunyaka wam wokugqibela weSikolo samaBanga aphakamileyo yonke indlela ukuza kuthi ga ngoku (~ gqolo kule minyaka ili-9 idlulileyo). Ngamanye amaxesha bendizibuza ukuba ngaba inene inkungu yengqondo okanye ingaba ibindim, ewe, ndim. Kodwa xa inkungu yengqondo iye yaphela kwezo zinto, zenzeka ngokungalindelekanga kule minyaka imbalwa idlulileyo, yaziva imnandi. Ndaziva ngathi "ndinguye" wokwenyani ", ndikwazi ukwenza nantoni na, nayo yonke into. Kuza kuhlala kuphela usuku okanye njalo, ndiza kuba namandla angummangaliso, ndikwazi ukunxibelelana kakuhle nawo wonke umntu, kwaye ndizive ndiphila ngokwenyani. Ke inkungu yengqondo yayiza kunxiba kwakhona kwaye imowudi ye-zombie yayiqala. Ndibuyele kwi-"igobolondo "elingenamdla lomntu wokwenyani kangangexesha elithile ndide ndifumane elinye ikhefu emafini. Ke bendihlala ndisazi ukuba kukho into "engalunganga" kwimbono yam yokuqonda, kwaye bendiya kuyibona kuphela xa ndiza kuba elinye icala yocingo; xa inkungu yengqondo iya kucaca. Kutshanje (kwiintsuku ze-11 ngoku), ndiyekile ukufota kwaye ndakhangela iphonografi (bendiyi-1 okanye i-2 uhlobo losuku), kwaye ndiye ndabona ukuba inkungu yengqondo uhambe. Ayiphelanga, ayisiyeli mncinci, kodwa IXELILE. Ndiyaphefumla, kwaye ndiyaziva. Ndibona abantu, kwaye ndijonge emehlweni abo. Ndiyazi apho ndikhoyo, into endiyenzayo, ngubani ixesha, kwaye kufuneka ndenze ntoni kwiiyure ezizayo, iintsuku, iiveki. Ndingahlala ndigxile ixesha elide kwaye ndiziva ndikhuthazekile ukwenza iitoni zezinto ngaxeshanye. Nditsibe kwinqanaba lam kwaye ndilaqaze kwaye ndibone umhlaba owahlukileyo.
Ndifuna ukuba ubomi bam bubuyele kabi. Ndifuna ukutsaliswa nje ngumbono kunye nomnxeba womfazi omhle kwakhona. Ndifuna ukukwazi ukuthandana nentombi yam ngaphandle kwe-ED. Ndifuna ukuyeka uonobumba kwaye ndibe nguwe.
Kwenzeka ntoni kwingqondo yam echaza ukuba kutheni ndingenakulala emva kokuhlambalaza iphonografi? Ndibe nobusuku obuninzi khange ndilale tuu. Xa ndiphulula amalungu esini ndisebenzisa intombazana ekucingeni kwam, ndilala ndingenangxaki. Ndonwabile kwaye emva koko ndidiniwe, uphondo lwam lwanelisekile kwaye ndiyalala. Kodwa xa ndiphulula amalungu esini iphonografi, kufana nokuba inqanaba lam le-dopamine alivali kwaye ligcina ndivuya ubusuku bonke. Kuyamangalisa, kwaye akukholeleki ukuba ingqondo inokwahluka kangako kwisiphumo sayo. Ndiyathetha ngokumangalisayo. Ndagqiba kwelokuba ndifumane intombi. Ndiyakhumbula ukuba emva kokulala ngesondo kwakuyinto efanayo yokulala njengokugcoba i-masturbating to my imagination-emangalisayo ngakumbi ngesini sangempela 😉
Ndijonge iphonografi malunga neminyaka esi-7. Ukunyuka rhoqo kunye nokubongoza. Ndiyazi ukuba le nto ibenzakalisa kakubi ubomi bam. Ndikwiminyaka apho kufuneka ndonwabe kwaye ndijikeleze namantombazana kodwa ndiye ndaphawula ukuba indlela endiziphethe ngayo iyafana neyomlutha. Ndiziva ndingenasidima, ndingenakuzinceda, kwaye ndingalawuleki. Ndizamile ukuyeka amaxesha amaninzi kodwa ngalo lonke ixesha ndisilele.
Kungcono kunangaphambili. Ndiza kuba neentloko eziphazamisayo xa ndihlaziya i-intanethi kwi-intanethi, ndingazi ukuba kutheni.
Ngokwenyani bendinengxaki yokukhumbula ubuso bamantombazana xa ndandikwishumi elivisayo. Ngelo xesha ndandingu-PMO'ing njengendoda enomsindo. Kufuneka ukuba ndidlule ndingakhange ndiqaphele kuba andisenangxaki.
Isibheno emva kwe-porn asifuni kuchazwa, kwaye ndibambekile, ndicacile kwaye kulula. Akukho nto ingcono kunokulibala zonke iingxaki zakho kunye nokuzibandakanya kwi-5-on-1 encinci kunye ne-pornstar yakho oyithandayo. Oku bekuhlala kuthatha yonke imihla nobusuku bonke, kwaye ewe, kwinqanaba elincinci elincinciweyo / elimnyama kwicala lam penis.
Ukujonga ngaphaya kweklasi ndabona omnye wabahlobo bam abalungileyo elele. Wayenobunzima kakhulu ukugcina amehlo evulekile kwaye intloko yakhe yayiqhuma phezulu naphantsi. Ukugqibela kwam ukufumanisa oku, kuxa ndandingene nzulu kumlutha wam we-PMO, i-PMO-ing mhlawumbi malunga namaxesha e-3 ngemini rhoqo. Yiza ucinga ngayo, lo mfo ukhankanye ukuba ubukele iphonografi. Ewe, ngokusuka kumava am, oyena nobangela wamandla asezantsi phakathi kwamadoda amancinci namhlanje ayikuko ukungabikho kokuzilolonga okanye ukutya okufanelekileyo (nangona badlala indima ebalulekileyo), kukuchaphazeleka kakhulu kwimifanekiso engamanyala kunye nokuhlaziya amalungu esini rhoqo. Ndiyazi ukuba yintoni umcimbi ngokukhawuleza xa ndijonga ngaphaya kwegumbi.
Xa ndandidla i-2-3 ngamaxesha onke imihla, kwafika ixesha ekugqibeleni ndaqaphela ukuba andizange ndifumane i-erection egcweleyo, ukuba ndandigcina imizuzu eyi-2-3 engapheliyo, ukuba kufuneka ndivuselele ngokomoya, njl. Kwakungenako ukufumana ukulungiswa kokumiswa, kuphela xa ndihleli okanye ndibeka emqolo wam.
Kule minyaka bendiye ndifumane ii-hemmorhoids ngamanye amaxesha, kodwa khange ndizikhathaze ngokucinga ukuba kukho unxibelelwano nokusetyenziswa gwenxa kwe-porn. Khange izive imbi kakhulu ngexesha leeseshoni ze-PMO, ke khange ndiyicinge kakhulu. Ndakhe ndabona ugqirha malunga nazo (zibuhlungu ngenene, njengoko nabani na ethe wafumana nantoni na engaphaya kwetyala elithozamisayo anokukuxelela), kwaye isiphelo ibiyinto nje efana nokuthi “abanye abantu bayazifumana, abanye abantu abazenzi”. Izizathu zam zihlala ziindidi ezithile zokuphakamisa okunzima. Ke, andinabo ixesha elide, elide, ubuncinci iinyanga ezintandathu. Ndaphinda ndabuya kwakhona malunga neveki edlulileyo, kubandakanywa "iiseshoni zokutya". Babuya begquma emva. Andinakuthetha ngokuqinisekileyo ukuba kukho unxibelelwano, kodwa ngokuqinisekileyo kubonakala ngathi kunokwenzeka. Zonke ezo zinto zixhunyiwe! Ukuhamba kwegazi, izihlunu, oku kutyhala kuloo nto, njl. ... Kunzima ukucofa isayensi ngqo, kodwa ngokuqinisekileyo iyavakala. Ndenze ukukhangela okukhawulezayo kwi-intanethi kwaye andifumananga zifundo zinzima, kodwa ndifumene iiakhawunti ezimbalwa ze-anecdotal. Ngelixa isondo okanye i-MO ilele phantsi kubonakala ngathi ayenzi nto, kubonakala ngathi yi-MO ngelixa UHLALA (okt phambi kwekhompyuter) eyonyuse ingxaki kubafana abaninzi. Andazi malunga nani bafana, kodwa kungcono ndibethwe esifubeni ngomhlakulo womhlakulo kunokuba ndinemeko yehemorrhoids, ngenxa yoko ndifumene inkuthazo apha.
Ngelixa ndandixhonywe kwi-porn yayingumfo owayehambahamba njenge zombie. Zange ndithathe inxaxheba kwiincoko kwaye andikhathali nyani malunga nabanye abantu. Kwaye izakhono zam zentlalo zazifana nenkwenkwana eneminyaka eli-16 ubudala. Zifunxe! Ngexesha lam le-10 iminyaka yokulutha, iphonografi ikhokelele kwiindidi ezininzi zokulutha. Ndaqala ngoononophala, ndaxhamla kwi-candy kunye nokutya okungenamsoco ukuba ndiyidle emva koononopopayi kunye neeseshoni zokuhlambalaza. Ilandelwa kukungcakaza (poker) Umlutha wobugqwetha wawukhokelela ekubeni ndiba namafutha (ndandibhitye ngaphambili) kwaye ndihlwempuzekile kuba ndandingenalo ithuba lokulwa neentlanzi zokudlala i-poker ngokufanelekileyo. Kungekudala ndaba neengxaki zokuhlawula ukutya, iimpahla njl njl. Ndikubiza ngokuba likhoboka elithe cwaka kuba unokuhamba ubomi bakho bonke ngaphandle kokuba abantu babone ukuba ulwela ntoni. Inesiphumo esifanayo kwingqondo njengecocaine kunye neheroin ngeendlela ezithile. Nangona kunjalo i-100% iyafumaneka nangaliphi na ixesha, kwaye isimahla. Unokuba nayo "iziyobisi" zakho nangaliphi na ixesha uphambi kwekhompyuter. Hlala apho wedwa endlwini yakho uthe cwaka. Oku kwahluke kakhulu kumakhoboka eziyobisi kuba kufuneka benze into engekho mthethweni ukuyifumana. Kufuneka ubazi abantu; kufuneka uphume uye kuthenga; ibiza imali. Uninzi lwamakhoboka eziyobisi luphelela kwindlela engalunganga yobomi yokulandela imisebenzi engekho mthethweni ukuze ikwazi ukuhlawulela iziyobisi. Ke bathathwa luluntu namapolisa kwaye bafumana uncedo apho. Singamakhoboka eziyobisi ezingamanyala. Kungenxa yoko le nto ndiyibiza ngokuba likhoboka elithe cwaka. Yintoni eyenza ukuba likhoboka lamanyala libi kakhulu kunamachiza kukuba umntu olikhoboka leziyobisi angadlula kwiiveki ezimbalwa zokuvuselelwa eklinikhi kwaye ahlupheke ngeziphumo zokurhoxa ngelo xesha lifutshane-ngelixa thina bantu babonisa amanyala sinemifanekiso engamanyala itshiswe kwimemori yethu.
Xa ndiqala ukuqala kwakhona ndandingaqinisekanga ukuba ndingumlutha ngokwenene, kodwa ngoku kuyacaca. Xa ndandizakuphinda ndibuyele kwi-porn izolo, izandla zam zazingcangcazela kwaye sele ndikhutshiwe. Cinga ulingo lwengqondo ngezinja kunye nentsimbi. Ndabekwa ndawo kwaye iindlela ezindala zazikhanyisa.
Xa i-intanethi yokudayala ifikile, ndiza kukhuphela iiklip zemizuzwana engama-30 ezazivelele, zibukele ziphindaphindwe. Khange ndiqonde ukuba sisiyobisi. Ndandihlaziya i-masturbating ndizama ukuphucula ukulungiswa kwam, okanye ngoko ndacinga. Ndineebhukumaka ezononophala ezaneleyo kwisikhangeli sam ukuba ukuba banokuthi babambe enye kwenye, baya kunika i-Empire State Building ukuba ibalekele imali yayo ngokobude. I-Broadband yeza kunye nokuvela kweewebhusayithi zeThubhu ekuqhubekeni kwam nokungaqondi, ukubonelela nge-porn yasimahla, imiboniso bhanyabhanya epheleleyo, ebonakala ngathi ayinasiphelo. Kufana nomntwana onikwa ukufikelela kwiilekese zasimahla yonke imihla - yonke imihla. Iminyaka yobomi bam ichithwe njengoko ndichithe ixesha elininzi imihla ngemihla kwi-intanethi, ikakhulu iphonografi. Ukuhlela imihla ngemihla, iiyure, kunye neefestile ezingamanyala ezivulekileyo kangangokuba ikhompyuter yam iqabile rhoqo, kakhulu kukukhathazeka kwam ngokwesondo. Ewe kunjalo, ndiye ndalahla lonke udidi lwe-porn, kuthintela nantoni na engekho mthethweni. Ndingathanda ukuvelana nabantu abaninzi endibafundileyo abathi bangakhange bafumane i-erection ngelixa i-masturbating. Ndikufumene okuninzi kwaye kuyinyani, kubuhlungu ngokwenene kwaye ndonwabe xa ndisenza njalo. Xa ndicinga emva kuyo ngoku, ibiyintoni injongo? Ubumnyama emva koko kunye nokungabikho kwamandla kunye namandla kuya kundongamela njengomntu.
Ndichithe iminyaka eyi-8 kwi-porn. Kwakunjalo kuphela xa ndilahlekelwa bubuntombi bam ndaye ndabona ukuba ungakanani iphonografi kunye nokufota okwandikhohlisayo. Inyani yokuba ndizilungiselele ukuba ndiphendule kuphela kulonwabo kwisandla sam sasekunene siyonakalisile. Ngokuqinisekileyo ndahlala ngonaphakade kodwa ngaba ndaziva ndonwabile ngokwasemzimbeni? Hayi. Yayikukuqonda kwam ukuba ndiyeke.
(Ubudala 32) Kuyo yonke iminyaka yam ye-20 yokusetyenziswa, ngekhe ndihambe ngaphezulu kweentsuku ze-7 nangaliphi na ixesha ngaphandle kokujonga uhlobo oluthile lwe-porn. Ndike ndacinga ngokuzama ukuyeka ngaphambili kodwa ndalungisa ukuba andifuni ngokuzixelela ukuba "Bonke abantu bajonge iphonografi kwaye uninzi lwabo lulungile, yintoni injongo yokuma. Andizenzakalisi. ” Inkwenkwe bendiphosakele. Khange ndiyazi kakuhle le nto kude kube ziintsuku ze-4 ezidlulileyo xa ndikhubekile kwiwebhusayithi exoxa ngesihloko se-porn-eyenze i-ED. Ndithe ndisafunda ngalento, ndacinga ngaphakathi "Owu thixo wam, ndim lo!" Ngokuqhelekileyo into eyenzekayo ndiza kudibana nentombazana endiyithandayo, isondo siya kuba silungile kwiinyanga ezimbalwa zokuqala kwaye njengoko ixesha liqhubeka ndiza kuba nzima ukugcina ulungiso ngexesha lokwabelana ngesondo de ekugqibeleni ndingabinakho ukufumana nokulungisa kukonke. Ndingayifaka le nto kwinto yokuba amaqabane am ebengenamtsalane ngokwaneleyo kwaye ke lixesha lokuba ndiqhubeke ndizame elinye ngelo xesha ndiza kuthi ndihlukane naloo ntombazana. Ndonakalise ubudlelwane obuninzi ngale nkqubo yokucinga ngaphandle kokuqonda oyena nobangela we-ED yam. Inyani yile yokuba bonke abantu endandithandana nabo babenomtsalane kakhulu kwaye yayingengabo kwaphela, yayiyingxaki yam lonke ixesha.
Ndandidikwe kukuba ngumntu ongaphumeleli. Ndandinokudinwa kukuvuka emini, ndixhuzule imini yonke, ndinxibe okomgqomo kwaye ndisitya ukutya okumnandi. Abasetyhini bebengatsaleleki kum, kwaye xa ndilele nomntu wasetyhini yayingumsebenzi ombi kangangokuba wayengazukubuyisa iifowuni zam. Andiqinisekanga ukuba ukhe wazama ukulala nomntu onama-30% nzima, kodwa liphupha elibi- umncinci KAKHULU, uthambile kwaye uya kuhlala ngaphezulu kweyure. Nangona kuhlala iyure kusenokubonakala kupholile kwabanye abafana, kuyinto entle xa uzama ukutyhala idick encinci ethambileyo emfazini ngokucacileyo ongayonwabisiyo. Ekugqibeleni yafika kwinqanaba lokuba andixelele nje ukuba ndiyeke. Njengoko unokucinga, ndagoduka ndiziva ngathi ndilahlekile. Ngapha koko, ndandingaziva ngathi ndilahlekile, ndandisazi ukuba ndingumntu olahlekileyo.
I-Porn (kunye nayo nayiphi na imifanekiso engabonakaliyo kwi-intanethi) inokubandakanya iingqondo ezimbini kwizinto ezininzi, ukubona kunye nokuva. Ndicinga ukuba oku mhlawumbi uqeqesha abantu (ngokukodwa amadoda endingayicinga) ukuba alindele ukuba avuke kuphela usebenzisa amehlo aze afe ezinye iinjongo. Ndandisoloko ndigxininisa ukuba izibane zibekhona xa ndandidla ngesondo kuba kungekho ndlela endiyenza ngayo ukuba ndize ndivuswe ngaphandle kokubonwa kwamabhinqa.
Ukususela ekubeni ndandineminyaka eyi-11 ubudala, andazi ukuba kunjani ukungabinayo i-masturbated nangeentsuku ze-4. Ukusukela oko ndiqale ukuyifumana, ndiyenzile i-3 okanye i-4 Times mihla le! Ndifuna ukuziva ngathi kunjani ukuba namandla amakhulu kunye namandla.Ndinamava oku ngelixa ndiphulula amalungu esini yonke imihla: Umzimba wam uziva ungenanto, kwaye ngathi awunanto kwaphela emqolo. Ulusu lwam luziva ngathi lutshisiwe. (Wonke umzimba wam ulusu nobuso) Iinyawo zibuhlungu, amathambo ayenzakalisa. Ukuyila kuvaliwe okwethutyana. Akukho Mandla konke konke kwaye ufuna ukulala. Akukho Mandla ezesondo, ke akukho ntombi kuba umzimba wam awuyidingi. (Kodwa ndifuna ukwenza oku) Ukuncokola kunabanye abantu abanamandla amakhulu kunye ne testosterone ejikelezayo. Ubuso bam abunako ukukhanya.
Into endiyifumeneyo eyoyikisayo kumzabalazo wam ne-porn kukungabikho kwemvakalelo, kwaye ngaphandle kokwazi ukuba andifanele ukuyenza (ukunqongophala kwegama elingcono), ndisayenza, ndiziva ndonwabile kwaye ndindisholo.
(Usuku lwe-59 lokufumana kwakhona) bendihlala ndonwabile ukuba intombi yam ihambe ukuze ndenze iphonografi kwi-porn. Kugula kangakanani oko? Bendihlala ndingonwabisi ngesondo. Ndandinomdlandla kwaye ndingenayo i-libido, ngaphandle kwezipiksi ezigqithileyo xa ujonga iphonografi. Ndikhethe idijithali ngaphezu kwento yokwenyani, mhlawumbi kuba yayilixesha kuphela endiziva ngalo naluphi na ulonwabo ngokwesondo. Ndadibana ngesondo kunye nentombi yam ngempelaveki, kwaye ndavuka ngeyona ndlela izolo nanamhlanje. Ngokwesiqhelo, xa ndivuka, ndinqwenela ukujonga iphonografi kunye nokubaleka. Kunoko, okokuqala ebomini bam, ndandinqwenela ukusebenzisana ngokwesondo kunye nentombi yam. Yayinyani yokwenyani eyomelezayo, kwaye ndonwabile ukufika kweli nqanaba "lokuqalisa kwakhona".
[Kwaye, evela kumfazi wangaphambili] Umntu wam wangaphambili wandixelela ukuba uyazi ukuba iphonografi "yayingumlutha" kuye. Wasebenzisa elo gama, kwaye wathi ufuna ukuyeka kwaye ngenxa yokuba akakwazanga- iphonografi "ibonakalisile ubomi bakhe." Uye wandibonisa nesiva esivela ekuphulula amalungu esini ukuya kwinqanaba lokopha kuba akakwazanga ukuyeka. Uthe iphonografi yamenza ukuba afune ukukopela ngalo lonke ixesha, kwaye emenza ukuba ahlale ecinga ngesondo "esibi" nabantu abangabaziyo, kunye namantombazana amancinci (abakwishumi elivisayo). Amantombazana kwezinye iisayithi awajongileyo ayemancinci kakhulu kangangokuba babengekabi nawo amabele. Imifanekiso engamanyala imkhokelela ekubeni afune kubomi bokwenyani isini esibonisa into awayeyibona kwi-Intanethi, kwaye wagqibela ngokufuna ukuhanjiswa ngenxa yeentengiso ezazihamba kunye ne-porn. Wayecela amantombazana angaphantsi kweminyaka ukuba athengise iinkonzo zabo "zabantu abadala" kwi-intanethi. Ngokuya efuna ukwenza into ayibonileyo, kwaye waqala ukuphatha bonke abantu basetyhini ngokungathi "bayazithoba" (igama elikhulu le-buzz kwi-porn kunye nokuhambisa iintengiso) izinto, kubandakanya nam. Wayeza kuba nomsindo, acaphuke kwaye athethe xa engenakujonga iphonografi kuba ndandisekhaya, kwaye wayeza kuba nomsindo kwaye axhaphaze ngenxa yokukhathazeka ukuba ndiza kumnika into ayifunayo ngokushiya. Wayeya kundishiya neendawo aze abaleke aye kwi-Intanethi. Wayesoloko elala ngesondo ngokungakhuselekanga- engacingi ngokwenyani okanye ngeziphumo ezifana nokuqhomfa, kunye nee-STD.
Ukuthintela ngokupheleleyo ilizwe langaphandle. Kuyakuqinisekisa ukuba akukho ntombazana iya kuze ikuthande kwaye ukufota kuphela kwento onayo (eneneni ichasene). Xa intombazana ikudlakazelisa, awazi nto kwaphela kwaye uyala ukuyikholelwa. Yileyo ndlela oziva ungenaxabiso ngayo.
Iziphumo ezibuthathaka ziye zanzima kakhulu. Ndaye ndaziqhelanisa nokuzikhathaza nzima, de ndayeka nokufumana ii-erections ekubukeni nje iphonografi. Rhoqo bendingena kuba nzima kwaphela ngelixa ndiphulula amaphambili kwaye ndiye ndenza le "rhythm" yokuphulula amalungu esini okwemizuzu embalwa, emva koko ndifunde ezinye iiwebhusayithi ezingadibaniyo njengoko ukuvusa kwam kuya kwehla, emva koko kuqhubeke ukuphulula amalungu esini, ukuphinda oku kude kube yinto ye-orgasm ['edging'].
Ndiyindoda echanileyo enandiphayo ukubona iifoto kunye neefoto zoononografi kunye namavidiyo abesetyhini abaza kunye nokulala ngokwesondo, baninzi baninzi abahlobo bam bafana. Andiqinisekanga ukuba bayayenza kwiiyure ze-3 ngexesha. Kodwa ndiyaqonda ukuba ngenxa yezizathu ezithile okanye izizathu, ndiziva ngathi ngotywala kamva (kungekhona ngenxa yokungcungcutheka). Ngamazwi nangokwenyama ndivakalelwa ngeeyure ezimbalwa. Kodwa ke ndiziva ndikhulile ngengqondo, ngamanye amaxesha njenge-IQ yam isinqunyiwe kwaye andinakucinga ngqo. Ukuba ndenza oku sekwephuzile ebusuku, imiphumo yosuku olulandelayo lubi kakhulu. Ndiyazi ukuba ngandlela-thile ndithintela ukulala kwam kuba ndivuka ekuseni kakhulu kwaye ndikwazi ukuphumula ndibuye ndilale. Oku akuze kwenzeke ukuba ndivele ndihlaziye ngaphandle kokujonga i-porn ngexesha elinye, okanye emva kokuba ndilale nesithandwa sam. AKUKHO kwenzeke nangona ndenza ngesondo ngomlomo kwintombi yam kwaye ndichithe ixesha elide ndikhangela kwiindawo zakhe zangasese. Kuyacaca ukuba, "unyango" lokungayi kuvakalelwa ngale ndlela kukuthi ndiyeke ukukhangela iifoto, kodwa ndifuna ukukwazi ukulifumana ngokumodareyitha ngaphandle kokuziva kakubi kamva. Ngokubanzi, ivakalelwa ngakumbi xa ixhamla emva kokusela kakhulu ngobusuku bobusuku - ndilele ubuthongo obubi, iingcamango ezicacileyo, intloko yesifo, nokungabikho komnqweno wenyama kunye nengqondo. Kwenzeka njalo, ngoko ndibiza ngokuba yi "hangover pornography." Andizange ndizisebenzise iziyobisi, ngoko andinakukufanisa naloo nto, kodwa kunikezelwa inkcazo yoluhlobo "lwesithintelo" kwabanye abahlobo bam, i-hangover inokufana. Ndiyazibuza ukuba ukujonga iifostile njengawe ngandlela-thile ingqondo kunye nomzimba wam ukucinga ukuba kukho imfuyo yabasetyhini abadibanayo, kwaye unxusa ukuba umfana ahambe ewafumene kunokuba alala ngokuqhelekileyo.
Ngubani na ovakalelwa iimvakalelo ezincinci ngenxa yezobuqu?
[Ingxoxo kwiforum] Ayizizo nezinto ezintle, ngamanye amaxesha awuva neentlungu xa kufanelekile ukuba zeziphi. Ndibonile abantu abambalwa bayikhankanya le, kodwa ayisiyiyo kangako, kwaye kum le yenye yezona zinto zimbi endakhe ndadlula kuzo. Bendizibuza nje ukuba bangaphi abanye abantu abanamava kuyo okanye yinto egqithisileyo? ——– Ndaziva ndonwabile ngakumbi xa ndine-Dialup ngokuthelekiswa nokuba ne-Broadband .———————- Kuqhelekile. Iziphumo ezibonisa ukuba iphonografi kunye nokuphulula amalungu esini kuyinyani, yiyo loo nto uninzi luhamba ngendlela engalindelekanga kunye neemvakalelo eziguqukayo ngexesha lokuqalisa kwakhona kweNoFap. Ngequbuliso awusebenzisi ukufota ukumelana nokubaleka kwiimvakalelo, ke kuya kufuneka ujongane nenyani ngqo .—————– Indlela ende ebuyela ekubeni ngumntu.
Xa abahlobo bam bebethandana kwaye bethandana namantombazana kwisikolo samabanga aphakamileyo, bendisekhaya i-PMO'ing de isikhumba sikweewee sam sikrazukile kwaye sopha. Yikholwa okanye ungakholelwa, ndikhe ndanexesha apho ndaphantse ndafumana usulelo kuba ndikrazule ulusu ngexesha le-PMO. Kwakubuhlungu kakhulu. Andikwazi ukuya koogqirha. Ndabeka ipolysporin kuyo ndayibopha. Nangona kunjalo andinakukwazi ukuyeka i-PMO'ing. Ndandingu-PMO'ing i-weewee yam eboshiweyo.
Zonke ezo ntsuku zokuba nesizungu kwaye ndizibuze ukuba kutheni ndingabinamntu onento yokwenza nokusetyenziswa gwenxa kwe-porn. Ndiza kuchitha iiyure kunye neeyure ndibukele. Iiyure ezingama-6, iiyure ezisi-8, imini yonke. Ukuba bendinosuku lokuphumla, bendiya kuba "neseshoni yakusasa" -nanini na xa ndivuka ukuya kwisidlo sasemini, kwaye emva kweseshoni yasemva kwemini apho ndibukele khona usuku lonke. Ngeli xesha, ndandirhalela kakhulu ukuthandwa nokuthandwa. Ukuba nomntu. Andizange ndibenentombi ekholejini. Khange ndisondele. Abahlobo bam babehlala bedidekile ukuba kutheni. Ndinobuhlobo, ndiyaphuma, kwaye ndinomoya wokubonelela. Ndimhle, kwaye kwakusoloko kukho amantombazana. Kucacile ukuba bayandithanda. Ndikhumbula uninzi lwabo lusenza izizathu zokuba babekufutshane nam. Ukujonga kwabo kunye nokujonga kwabo kubhalisile. Kwakukho intombazana endandihleli ecaleni kwayo eklasini eyayibonisa ukuba ifuna ukuphuma. Khange ndikwazi ukuphendula. Kwaye ngalo lonke ixesha ndicinga ukuba kukho into engalunganga ngam. Ndivele ndaziva ngathi andinako ukunxibelelana nabo. Yabutshabalalisa ubomi bam.
Ukuqala i-porn kwi-12 ngoku, ndineminyaka eyi-22. Ndibandezelekile ngenxa ye-ED. Kwezi nyanga zimbalwa zidlulileyo ndiye ndaqala nokubandezeleka ngenxa yemikhwa yalo mkhuba ngohlobo lwezandla ezingcangcazelayo kunye nokungcangcazela kwemisipha emzimbeni wam wonke. Kwiintsuku ze-10 okoko ndayeka, oku kunciphise kakhulu, kwaye indlela endiziva ngayo ngayo iphuculwe kakhulu. Bendithetha namantombazana ambalwa kutshanje ukuze ndilale ngesondo endleleni yokubuyela kwimeko yesiqhelo kwaye ndingenakho, kodwa eyona njongo yam iphambili kukungabeki amaphambili okanye ndibukele iphonografi.
Ndiphinde ndaqonda ukuba iphonografi indenze ukuba ndigxeke ngakumbi emfazini wam xa kuziwa kwindlela ajongeka ngayo, indlela alala ngayo ngokwesondo, indlela aqhuba ngayo, njalo njalo njalo njalo. Kwixesha elidlulileyo bendinokuba nomsindo xa umfazi wam engonwabanga ngombono wesini… kwaye ndineentloni, ngamanye amaxesha bendijonga umfazi wam (onobunzima obungaphantsi komlinganiso) kwaye ndiziva ndonyanya kwaye ndikhohlisiwe. Iingcamango zam ziya kuba zihamba kunye - "angaziyeka njani ukuba ahambe enjalo - eyazi ukuba ndizinikezele ekulala naye nje ubomi bam bonke" - loo mqeqeshi wengcamango ngokupheleleyo wandisa i-pornography kunye ne-masturbation Ndizive ndilungile ngendlela. Umlutha wam onobugqwetha awundivumeli ukuba ndiveze ubuthathaka bam kumfazi wam. Rhoqo emva kokuzinkcinkca nge-porn andifuni nokubamba umfazi wam. Ngesizathu esithile - emva kokubukela iphonografi - ndaphantse ndaziva ngathi nditshiswe ngeoyile enyanyekayo kwaye ndambathiswa ngezinto. Phantse ndaziva ngathi uyabona ngam-kwaye loo nto yandenza ndenza nemvukelo ngakumbi. Rhoqo ukuba krwada naye ngaphandle kwesizathu-kwaye ungafuni nokungena kwincoko esisiseko.
Ndinefrash yokuxhamla kwi-dick yam, ebangela intlungu xa ndilala ngesondo okanye ndihlaziya. Ndibe sisidenge malunga nayo kwaye bendiyivumela ukuba iphilise kancinci ngaphambi kokungena kunye nokusebenzisa i-dick yam, ngenye indlela okanye enye. Ndithatha inxaxheba kwi-nofap ngokungazibandakanyi, kodwa ndiyonwabile!
Ndikhoyo 19 Iminyaka ubudala kwaye ndibukele iphonografi ukusukela ndandineminyaka eyi-14. Xa ndandineminyaka eyi-14, ndaqala ukuvuswa kwimifanekiso yobufanasini kwaye oku kwaba luxinzelelo kum. Ndandiqinisekile ukuba ndiyintombazana, kwaye ngelo xesha ndandisazi ukuba andikho ngenxa yokuba ndihlala ndifuna umfazi nabantwana. Oku, ndafumanisa kamva, yayingu-HOCD ebangelwa yile mifanekiso ye-porn ndiyibonileyo. Emva konyaka omnye onesiqingatha woxinzelelo olupheleleyo, ityala, kunye nokuzonda ndaye ndabona ukuba andiyongqingili. Kodwa ndaqhubeka ndibukela iphonografi. Ingxaki endinayo kukuba andibonakali ngathi ndilikhoboka lamanyala kodwa ndandilikhoboka lokunyuka. Ndifumene kunzima ukuyeka i-porn, kodwa akunakwenzeka. Ndiyekile kwiiveki ezimbalwa ezidlulileyo. Kodwa nantsi ingxaki yam. Ndiqale ngokuvuswa yimifanekiso yobufanasini. Yaphela lonto emva koko ndaphila. Ndaya kwi-Anime porn, kodwa emva kokubona enye ngepenis ndaya kwimifanekiso ye shemales. Okwethutyana bendicinga ukuba ndithanda i-shemales kwaye kuya kufuneka ndikhule kwaye nditshate enye. Kodwa ke oko kudlulile kwaye ndaya kubetha i-anal, emva koko ndichama, emva koko izilwanyana. Ndacinga ukuba bendiloluhlobo oluthile lokuphambuka (ngalo lonke eli xesha ndandisakhangwa ngabasetyhini) kodwa iphonografi yayiqhubeka ikhula. Ndandijongile ukuba ne-porn ye-incest eyayikwi-intanethi kwaye ndifunda amabali abathandanayo emva koko ndawela umgca ongenakucingwa. Ndidibene ne-intanethi, ividiyo ene… imisebenzi engekho mthethweni kuyo (ndiqinisekile unokuthekelela) kwaye andiqinisekanga ngento eyenzekayo ekuqaleni. Ndabona malunga nemizuzwana eyi-10 emva koko ndavala isikhangeli sam. Ndandinomsindo onzima ukusuka kwi-dopamine kunye ne-masturbated nangona ndandididekile yinto endayibonayo. Ukusukela ngoko, ubomi bam bebusenkingeni kwaye ndinePOCD (isebenza NJENGEHOCD yam). Kodwa ngoku ndifikile kwinqanaba apho ndibuza khona imeko yam kwaye ndisecaleni koxinzelelo olupheleleyo. Ndiye ndahlaselwa kukuxhalaba kwaye kubangele ubudlelwane be-OCD kunye nentombi yam ende. Elona xesha ndiliphulula amalungu esini xa sisenza kunye kwi-intanethi kwaye ngamanye amaxesha ndinokukwenza ngokucinga ngaye kodwa ngamanye amaxesha kufuneka ndiye kwezo ngcinga nangona ndizama ukungazenzi. Ke ngokusisiseko, eyam ingongoma… andinguye omnye wabo bantu abangenakuyeka ukubukela iphonografi, kodwa ngokuqinisekileyo bendinengxaki yokunyuka, ndisoloko ndizama ukufumana iphonografi ye-kinkier. Ndiyekile ukubukela iphonografi ngokupheleleyo kuba ndiye ndafumanisa ukuba xa ndibukele iphonografi rhoqo, bekuya kundikhupha kuqala kwaye emva koko ndiza kuqala "ukuzingela" ngokungathi andinakukwazi ukuzibamba… Ndiyayithanda intombi yam kakhulu kwaye Ukundikrazula ukuba ndibuza indawo yam. Ngolunye usuku ndicinga nje ngayo mhlawumbi idibene nemizuzu eyi-10, ezinye iintsuku ziya kuza kwaye ukungathandabuzeki kwam / i-OCD iya kuba engqondweni yam yonke imini.
Ndandidla ngokukhawuleza ubusuku bonke ngelixa ndibhema ukhula. Andiyi kushiya umgqomo kwakhona, kodwa ndiyayinqwenela inani lovuyo ekuhlanganisweni kwokhula kunye nokukhwabanisa. Ndiyakwazi ukucinga ukuba ubuchopho bam bukhanyisa ngokucinga nje ngabo, ngoko ndizama nje ukungazi. Nangona kunjalo ndihamba kwisikhokelo esilungileyo kunye nokukhathazeka kwemizwelo, iimvakalelo ezingenanto kunye nesimo esibi se-ED (kwakuza kufuneka sihlaziye izandla kunye zombini ngezandla ngelixa ndibukele i-porn ukuze ndibe nzima, e-23 ayikho ibmonakalo entle). Ndivakalelwa kukuba ukushiya konke emva kwindlela engcono ngakumbi yokuphila kwam ngokubanzi. Ndiziva ndizingca.
"Ukufuna ukubukela iividiyo ezili-10 ngaxeshanye, ukusasaza ngaxeshanye ..." Ndiyakwazi ukunxibelelana ngokupheleleyo noku. Kuyamangalisa ukuva omnye umntu esitsho. Kufana nokugcwala ngokweemvakalelo, okanye ukuziqwebela, okanye ukuzalisa kakhulu ngokutya okungenampilo kokutya okungafunekiyo… Kwaye uziva ugula emva koko.
Ndicinga ukuba uninzi lweengxaki zoononophala lusixelela ukuba singalungi kunye noko sikufumanayo ngokwesondo. Isivumela ukuba sikhulise ngokukhawuleza ngokukhawuleza ukuba singangeni xa singazange sikhubeke kuyo. Ndingaba ndifike kwi-shemales ukuba ndidibene nenye entle kwenye indawo ndavuka, kodwa mhlawumbi hayi. Mhlawumbi ngekhe ndicinge nzulu ngayo. Andazi. Kodwa ngoononophala, i-vanilla ngesondo kunye nomlingane (kwimeko yam umfazi wam) akwanelanga phantse ubusuku bonke ...
Ndiyi-21 ngoku. Uqhube kakuhle esikolweni, iimbaleki eziziimbalasane kwisikolo samabanga aphakamileyo, iitoni zokuzithemba .. emva koko yavele yabuna kwaphela. Ngoku andisayi eyunivesithi (emva kweminyaka emi-2 ndigqibe ekubeni ndithathe unyaka wokuba "ndibone izinto"), andisebenzi kwaye ndihlala imini yonke ndisenza into enye. Ndibanjwe liluphu. Ndiqinisekile ukuba ndicinezelekile. Ndichithe ixesha elaneleyo nale nkunzi yenkomo.
Kwiminyaka eyi-3, andinakukwazi ukudibana nobudlelwane bam obude gf [intombi]. Uyandithanda kakhulu kangangokuthi wayengenandaba kwaye ubomi bethu bobulili buhloniphekile kodwa ngelo phulo elikhulu. Iiveki ze-2 ezedlulileyo ndagqiba ekubeni ndiqale umngeni wale ngxaki yeenyanga ze-3. I-1 ngeveki yayingu-nightmare epheleleyo: amaphupho amabi, aguqa, anxusa, ukukhungatheka, umsindo. I-2 ngeveki ndakwazi ukuyilawula ngenxa yamanye amathiphu: ukuzivocavoca, ukuqhuba, ukuzigcina ndixakekile, njl. Namhlanje, imini 12th ndalala ngesifo sam gf kwaye ndakwazi ukwenza ngokugqibeleleyo. Xa ndagqiba ndikhala, ekugqibeleni ukuba ubungqina bokuba oku kusebenza. Ndiziva ndomelele kunanini ngaphambili kwaye ndingenaso umnqweno nonke ukuba ndifake. Ndiyazi ukuba kuya kuba neentsuku xa ukukhupheka kuvela kwakhona kodwa ngeli xesha ndiyazi ukuba akukho nto iyenzayo.
ICawe endala ibizakuhamba ngoluhlobo. Ndiza kuvuka, ndihlala ndixhonywe emva kobusuku apho ndandingenathemba lokuthetha namantombazana kwaye ndaya ekhaya ndinganxilanga kuphela kodwa ndiziva ndonwabile ngobomi ngokubanzi. Ngokukhawuleza emva kokuvuka ndiza kuphinga amalungu esini. Emva koko ndiza kuba nenkungu enkulu yengqondo, ndiyenze impazamo yokudinwa, ndibuye ndibuye ndilale. Bekuya kuba kusasa. emva koko ndiza kuvuka kwakhona malunga ne-12 emini emva kweyure okanye ngokoyikeka ngokungathi ndilele okungazange kulahle inkungu yengqondo. Emva koko ndingaphinda ndihlaziye kwakhona, ndilale kwakhona, ndize ndivuke malunga ne-2pm, uye ezantsi, ufumane isidlo sasemini, ubuyele kwigumbi lam, unamathele ikhompyuter, uhlikihla i-2 okanye amaxesha e-3 koononophala, ngeli nqanaba andiyi Nditsho nokuba ndiyonwabele, kwaye bendiya kuba nenkungu yengqondo / ukuvala / ikhoma / amava okukhathala anokucinga, emva koko ndibuye ndiphinde ndilale ndiphinde ndivuke, ekugqibeleni malunga ne-16: 30, ndiye ejimini , Kwaye emva koko uzibuze ukuba kutheni ukuzilolonga kwam kwakubi kwaye ndaziva ngathi ndiyinto engekhoyo. Emva koko ndiza kuphazamiseka kuyo yonke le mini ngohambo oluncinci olungalungelelaniswanga, lungahlambulukanga kwaye ndicinge nje ngesondo rhoqo, ndize ndizive ndiphantsi ngalo, kuba andinakuba nayo.
Kulungile, ndineminyaka engama-21. kwaye usengumfundi. Ekhaya ixesha elininzi, lokufunda. Kodwa i-PMO indenza ndidandatheke, kwaye ukurhoxa kundenza ixhala lonke ixesha, ndiye ndayeka iimviwo zam ezimbini ezidlulileyo. Ndidinga ukungabinayo i-PMO, ngaphambi kokuba ndiqhubeke nobomi bam. Yinto ephambili. Ndiyazi ukuba ndiqheleke kakhulu ekubeni likhoboka leziyobisi, kwaye ndibethile ukusela kwam iziyobisi kwiinyanga ze-3 ngoku (woohoo!). Kodwa kulungile, i-PMO indigcina ndinengxaki. Ibuyile izolo emva kosuku lwe-9 kungekho-PMO. Ukufumana inkungu yengqondo ngoku, kunye nesidenge. Iintsuku zokuqala ze-6 zexesha lam elingena-PMO, ndafumana ixhala elinzima, ukuya kuthi ga kwinqanaba lokuba ndiqalise ukulila.
Kwimowudi yoononophala, xa ndabona umfazi, ngokungaqondakaliyo wayeyi-pornography. Kwinqanaba lokungazi, ingqondo yam yayicinga "ukuba ndingafumana indlela yokuphulula amalungu esini kanye phambi kwakhe engandiboni. mhlawumbi naye angandimela. ” Oku kukhokelele kwindlela yokuziphatha efihlakeleyo. Ukuzimela ngokubonakalayo. Kwaye kwakhokelela kukoyika ukuba wayeza kundibamba ngokufihlakeleyo, kwaye ndazi ngokungathi ndifuna ukuphulula amalungu esini phambi kwakhe. Olu loyiko lwandenza ndaziva ndingafanelekanga kwaye ndineentloni, kwaye ndiza kuthintela ukudibana kwamehlo, ukuncokola, ngokwenene ndiza kumphepha ngokupheleleyo. Isidingo sokufihla sindenze ndamsola ngokundibamba ndibukele. Ndibeka ityala kwabasetyhini kwiimvakalelo zam zoloyiko, iintloni kunye nokuzithoba; Ndabatyhola ngokungandivumeli ukuba ndihlaziye bonke, kwaye olu hlobo lukhokelela ekubeni ndingabathandi abafazi ngokubanzi. Isichasi somtsalane ngokwenene, esivela kwisiLatini esithetha ukuzoba okanye ukutsala. Ndandikwimowudi yokugxeka. Kwangelo xesha njengoko ndisoyikiswa ngabasetyhini, ndandizifota iifoto zengqondo kwaye ndizifaka kwi-Catch-22 ebuhlungu.
Xa ndiqalise ukuhamba ngokugqithiseleyo (iminyaka eyi-16-17 nangona sele ndiqale iminyaka ethile ngaphambili), ndiqala ukulahlekelwa iinwele kwaye ndibe nomnyama ngokujikeleza phantsi kwam amehlo.
Ndiyindoda engumhlolokazi-nditshatayo ngokutshatayo iminyaka emininzi ukusuka kwi-17. Mna nomyeni wam sinobubomi obukhulu kwaye ndilahlekelwe ngumhlaza emva kwesibindi esinamandla. Andizange ndiyazi iifostile ... Ndiyazi ukuba wayenomdla wokudlala, kodwa asizange sithethe. I-2 iminyaka kamva ndafumanisa i-intanethi ye-intanethi. I-bf yam entsha ayizange ikholwe ukuba andizange ndiyibone (engazange idlale umdlalo wevidiyo, ayizange ibuke ithelevishini ... ikhuseleke kakhulu) kwaye ibonise yona-ndikhawuleza-ndize ndenze i-bf iyancipha (eyithandayo yona ) ngokwenene-i-dailey-ifuna ukuyeka-ndiye ndafunda kakhulu-ndingazange ndive nge-dp, i-facials tho ye-hubby kwaye ndenza izinto ngaphandle kwe-vanilla-backdoor umzekelo-andingazi ukuba eli hlabathi likhona kwaye ngoku andinako umise-kwaye uye wanyusa umnqweno wam 1,000% Ndikuxelela oku ngombono we-50 y / odabantwana abangenako abantwana (abakwaziyo) abafazi abaye baziswa kule minyaka yobudala be-50 kwaye ngoku banenkinga yangempela. Ndiyifanelekile (ubukhulu be4) kwaye ndikhangele iminyaka engama-15 (ubuncinane) kodwa ngoku ndiyayikhathaza into enokuba ndinako ukukhusela ixesha elide ... .Ndiya kuzama ukunyango-ukuphazamisa ebomini bam kwaye Ndimele ndizifihle ngoku ukuba i-bf iinjongo ndiyithanda kakhulu-ke, ewe kwimbono yam inobungozi, kwaye ndiyingozi, ndicinga ukuba ndiyadla ngokuba akukho mntu ndiyaziyo ukuba uya kukholelwa ukuba babesazi - abatsha abaselula -Ndikwazi ukucinga ukuba ndikhuliswe nale ....
Ndiya kulala kunye nomkami kwaye ke ndibe ne-masturbate emva koko. Ndiya kuvuka ekuseni kwaye into yokuqala endingayicinga ngayo yayiyi-masturbation. Ndiya kuba ngumzekelo wokudubula kwaye ke ndenze i-masturbate kwiphulo elifanayo kodwa kwividiyo. Oku kuya kundishiya ndibe nosizi, ndixinezelekile, ndiphelelwe yinto nawuphi na amandla obomi kwaye ndicaphukile. Ingqondo yam ayizange isebenze, ndandingacingi kakuhle, imemori yam yayimbi. Ukugqiba i-masturbation kwandichaphazela ukulungiswa kwam, ukusebenza kwindlala, kwandenza ndenze i-paranoid, echaphazela ubudlelwane bam nabasetyhini kunye nabantu ngokubanzi. Funda ngokugqithisileyo
Ndiyindoda eneminyaka eyi-26 ubudala, ndaqala ukuhlaziya i-masturbating ukususela kwiminyaka elishumi, kwaye yonakalisa ubomi bam bonke bentsha / iingxaki ezininzi zempilo. Xa i-Irealized masturbation ingenampilo kum, ndenza iinzame ezininzi zokuyeka kodwa ngaphandle kwempumelelo yokwenyani. Nangona kunjalo, ndandithandana nale ntombazana intle kangangenyanga, kwaye ngalo lonke ixesha ndiyenza into, bekukho izinto ezininzi ezivezwe kumfana wam we-lil, kwaye okona kubi kakhulu, ndiye ndabona ukuba inkwenkwe yam ayinakulunga kakuhle. Oku kwandikhulula ngokwenene, ngakumbi xa intombazana yandicela ukuba ndilale ngesondo. Kwakuqala ngqa ebomini bam ukuba intombazana indibuze ngesondo, kwaye andizange ndilale ngesondo ngaphambili. Kwafuneka ndifumane isizathu sokumala, nto leyo yandenza ndaziva ndikhathazekile kwaye ndinomsindo ngam. Ndimele ndiyenze le nto. Ndiziva ngathi ndiphelele. Andikwazi ukuyithatha kwakhona. Ndivakalelwa nangaphambi kokuba ndifake. Umzimba wam sele uyazi ukuba kubi, ukanti ndiyayenza nangayiphi na indlela. Inani le-porn kwi-intanethi lifana nomgodi wegolide kuthi bantu bangamakhoboka. Imbi kakhulu. Ndiyazi ukuba kuyothusa, abavelisi be-porn bayazi ukuba iyoyikeka. Baxhaphaza abo babakhobokisayo kwaye babaxhaphaza abesilisa nabasetyhini ababandakanyekayo kumzi-mveliso we-porn. Andikaze ndibenobudlelwane kwaye ndiyathemba kuthixo, ngenye imini ndinayo. Iphonografi yonakalise umzimba wam, ingqondo kunye nomphefumlo. Ndifuna ukutshintsha ngoku. Ndaqala ukusebenzisa i-heroin xa ndandineminyaka eyi-15, kwaye xa ndandineminyaka eyi-19 ndatshayisa loo ndawo ndaza ndaya kubuyela kwimeko yesiqhelo. Emva kwenyanga ye-4, ndithathwa njengecocekileyo kwaye nangona bendirhalela ngamanye amaxesha, andikaze ndibuyele umva. Ukwahlukana: Ndabona i-intanethi yam yokuqala ye-intanethi xa ndingu 11, ndaqala ukufakela ngexesha elifanayo, kwaye nanamhla ndinomlutha-nangona ngoku nditshatile kumfazi wam amaphupha am! I-Porn kunye neFap zibeke uxinzelelo kumtshato wam ... Andizange ndikwazi ukugqiba xa mna noMfazi ndilala ngesondo. Nantsi ke inyama yeposti. Ndizama iNoFap malunga neenyanga ezili-6 ngoku, kwaye andikaze ndiyenze usuku oludlulileyo 6. Into eyoyikisayo yenzekile kwiintsuku ze-2 ezidlulileyo nangona. Ndiphume "kumnyama" ukuba ndizigubungele nge-jizz kunye ne-porn edlala kwikhompyuter yam. Andinayo inkumbulo yokufuna iphonografi, okanye iseshoni ye-fap kunye ne-orgasm. Olu hlobo lwento oluqhele ukwenzeka kanye phambi kokuba ndibetheke phantsi ngeheroin. Ndandifuna ukuyeka ukusebenzisa, kodwa ingqondo yam yayiza kuvalwa kwaye "ivuke" kwakhona emva kokuba ndisebenzise. Ndiyoyika kakhulu ngoku. Ndiyakucaphukela ukwenza ingxelo etshayelelayo, kodwa andikaze ndilufumane olu hlobo lwezinto ngaphandle kwe-heroin, kwaye ngoku akukho NoFap. Ngaba kunokwenzeka ukuba umlutha wam ukwinqanaba elifanayo neheroin?!
Iphonografi ithatha isixa esikhulu samandla ngaphandle kwakho - akukho thelekiso phakathi kwamanqanaba amandla emva kweentsuku ezingama-25 [ze-non-porn] nasemva kosuku lwe-porn. Ayisiyonto yamandla aqhelekileyo elahlekileyo. Yiyo loo 'ndlela yokufumana amandla' okwandisa ubomi bakho. Ngoku ndifumana oko kuthethwa ngeepowusta xa bethetha "ngenkungu yengqondo". Bendihleli ndicinga ngaphakathi kum "Wow, ingaba yile ndlela ebeyihamba ngayo yonke le minyaka?" Ndiziva nje ngaphandle kwayo, ndingenayo inkuthazo, andinakukhathalela.
Oku kungumlumkiso wento enokwenzeka ntoni xa kufikelelwe kwi-fapping / PMO, okanye into endiyicinga ukuba i-fapping yami eyingozi.
Ndineminyaka engama-33 ubudala. Ndiye ndafaka kuba ndandimalunga ne-11 ukuya kwimifanekiso eqingqiweyo yeetits kwitshaneli yokudlala. Kwi-90s yee-3s, oko kwaqhubela phambili ukuya ekubalekeleni kwimifanekiso yepikseli yenudes. Umkhwa wam ekugqibeleni waba yi-4-6x ngosuku (ezinye iintsuku ukuya kwi-20x), yonke imihla yonyaka… kwiminyaka emininzi emininzi. Ndandidandathekile kwiminyaka yam yokugqibela kwaye ndandisoloko ndizibuza ukuba ukufakwa kwam kwakuyimiphumo yoko. Nokuba kunjalo; Ubomi buqhubekile kwaye phakathi kwe-XNUMXs yam, Ngelixa ndandihlala kumkhwa ombi we-fap, ndaba noxinzelelo olubi. Ngelo xesha ke ndaye ndaqala ukukhangela unxibelelwano phakathi kokufota okugqithileyo kwaye kungunobangela kuba bendinaso isizathu sokuba nexhala kodwa bekungalawuleki ukuya kuthi ga apho bendicinga ukuzibulala izihlandlo ezimbalwa. Andikayeki phofu. Ndasebenzisa ukufakela ukujongana nezinto ebomini bam. Ndifike emva kwexesha emsebenzini amaxesha amaninzi kuba bendixakekile. Ndenze iimfesane ezothusayo ngendandingazange ndicinge ukuba zindijikile. Ndiqinisekile yonke le nto niyivile kakade. Nangona kunjalo, kwiminyaka embalwa edlulileyo ndakhula ezi ntlungu zesifuba zingaqhelekanga. Kwakungokuqina kunye nokuphefumla okufutshane. Ndivavanyiwe emva kovavanyo koogqirha kunye neengcali ezininzi, yonke into "yayilungile". Oku kwaqhubeka iminyaka (kuqhubeka) kwaye kwenza ubomi bam isihogo. Ayilulo uloyiko lokuhlaselwa nangayiphi na indlela. Isifuba esiqinisa esihlala imini yonke kwaye sahluka ngamandla. Olunye lovavanyo oluninzi ebendinalo yayiluvavanyo lwe-motility esiswini kuba babengazi ukuba isisu sam siyasebenza. Luvavanyo olukhangela ukuba isisu sakho sikutyhala ngokukhawuleza kangakanani ukutya. Ewe, ndiphumelele uvavanyo olungaqhelekanga. Ndijonge izizathu zokuba kutheni izocotha kwaye yathi isisu esishukumisayo senziwa sisistim se-autonomic system ... ukuba inkqubo yovalo lovelwano iyalawula, isisu esishukumayo sinokuchaphazeleka. Inomdla kodwa andizidibanisi izinto.
Ngoku iminyaka idlula kwaye ndiziva ngathi ndiyinto engaqhelekanga. Kutshanje, kwiiveki ezimbalwa ezidlulileyo, ndiqale ukuqaphela ukubetha kwentliziyo yam kugxuma ukuya kuthi ga malunga ne-95-100 xa ndiphakame emva kokulala phantsi. Kuyavela ukuba luphawu lokuchonga iipOTI: postach orthostatic tachycardia. Ndiyifundile into eyiyo kwaye ikakhulu xa inkqubo yovelwano yemfesane inetoni ephezulu, inkqubo ye-parasympathetic nervous system (enoxanduva lokunciphisa ukubetha kwentliziyo, ukugaya ukutya, njl.njl. Kukwakho nembono yokuba ukunqongophala kwe-acetylcholine kunokubangela .. ewe, kunjalo, i-acetylcholine yenye yezinto oyichitha kwingqondo yakho xa usiya ngokugqithileyo. Yonke indlela iyinto eninzi kakhulu eyenzekayo.Ngaba ukugqithisa kwam okugqithisileyo kungunobangela woku? Andiqinisekanga kodwa ngokuqinisekileyo andilungelanga iprofayile yesiqhelo yesigulana sePOTS. Ama-80% ngabantu ababhinqileyo kwaye bahlala beziswa yintsholongwane okanye kukugula. Ngaba oku kusisigxina? Mna ngempela Ndiyathemba ukuba akunjalo. Nangona kunjalo, ndaye ndagqiba kwelokuba kwiiveki ezi-2 ezidlulileyo ukuze ndiye kubandayo ndiyeke ukubola kwaye ndiyeke iphonografi. Andazi ukuba izokunceda na kodwa ndaye ndacinga ukuba ndiyikhuphile ingqondo kunye nomzimba wam ixesha elide, ngenxa yoko ayinakulimaza. Kudala ndincedisa nge-B-vithamini, nemagniziyam kunye nabanye ukuzama nokutsiba ukuqala imveliso ye-neurotransmitter ngokwendalo.
Ndiyoyika ukuba ndenze umonakalo emzimbeni wam ngokufota okugqithisileyo kodwa ndiyathemba ukuba ngokuzimisela kunye nomsebenzi, ndinokuwuguqula. Ilizwi kwizilumko: yonke into ngokumodareyitha. Nantoni na egqithisileyo inakho kwaye iya kukwenzakalisa ngandlela thile. igama lesilumkiso kwiifappers
Bafana ba ndiyazi ukuba le nto iyayisisidenge kodwa i-12 kunye nomhlobo wam uya kuhlala ndijonge P kunye nabo ndiyenze kwaye ndaqala i-MB iya kuba yinto enomlutha kwaye ayiyi kumisa MB ngosuku okanye P ebusuku ebusuku kodwa ndihlala nje kwaye ndiyazi ukuba ndicinga ukuba kwi-MB eninzi ukusuka kwi-P ndibangela ukuba ndibe neqabunga (igafile njengokuba ndiyabona igalelo) emlanjeni kwaye ndimoyike kwaye ndizama kodwa ndifuna nje nceda uncede.
Isisombululo sam esiphumelele kakhulu kwisicwangciso sokuthintela ukuphindaphinda kwakungumntu owodwa. Njalo xa ndivakalelwa kukuba ndandizibuza, "Ukuba unokwenza i-masturbate okwangoku, kodwa ngaphandle koononophala kwaye ngaphandle kokucinga, ngaba uya kukwenza?" Phantse lonke ixesha impendulo ibuya "Hayi" kwaye yindlela ebendisazi ngayo ukuba ngumkhwa wam osandilawulayo. Andizange ndinomdla kwimbonakalo yomzimba yokuphulula amalungu esini okanye i-orgasm, ndandinqwenela ukuzingelwa komdlalo ogqibeleleyo okanye intombazana egqibeleleyo (isiyobisi esivusa inkanuko). Nje ukuba ndibone ukuba ngumkhwa wam kwaye ayisiyiyo inyani yokwenyani ndiza kucaphuka kwaye isigqibo sam siyakuphindeka kabini.
Ndandingumntu ophulula amalungu esini ixesha elininzi ebomini bam. Ndingu 27 ngoku, kwaye umzimba wam ukhathazwa ziintlungu. Entanyeni nasemlenzeni ikakhulu. Ndikhethe umkhwa wobugqwetha kodwa ngoku uluhlu lwam lokuhamba, olungabangeli zimpawu, lilinganiselwe ukuhamba nokulala ngomqolo. Ndizibonile iitoni zoogqirha kwaye ndiza kubona ngaphezulu. http://www.reddit.com/r/NoFap/comments/2oq2q8/anyone_else_have_chronic_pain_from_masturbating/
Ehlekisayo jonga umlutha ngumntu ngoku uvuselela kwakhona: Andizange ndibenamava kunye namantombazana de kube yiminyaka eyi-19. Ndandine-anorexic, ndichasene nentlalontle, kwaye ndandingenawo amandla okuthetha nabantu okanye ukuzikhathalela. Ngeli xesha ndiza kujonga iphonografi kwaye ndizivuselele. Ukuba bendinokukhumbula ngokuchanekileyo, unyaka wam wokugqibela wamanyala, nokuba ezinye izinto ebendizikhethile bezinganzima ngokupheleleyo xa kujongwa iphonografi. Ndisetyenziselwa ukuvuselela rhoqo ndicinga ukuba. Imithi yam yasekuseni ijikeleze i-70% ngoku. Kwiveki ephelileyo bendimiswe ngokupheleleyo ngokujonga nje incanca yam ngekhamera. Kuyamangalisa, kufana nokuba kuphantse kufuneke ndizibone ukuze ndakheke… njengefilimu. Iresres ikwanesipili ecaleni kwebhedi yam intombi yam kwaye ndijonga kuyo kwaye ndibone indlela esijonga ngayo kunye kwaye ndikhanyiselwe ngakumbi.
Iimbonakalo zazingabonakali zichaphazela umkhiqizo wam umsebenzi (ukufunda, umsebenzi wekhompyutheni, njl) okanye ukukwazi ukucinga ngokucacileyo. Ininzi yathintela ingqondo yam, nesibindi, intetho yokudala, ukuxhalaba kwezenhlalakahle, ithoni ye-muscle, uthando lokuphila, ezo ntlobo zezinto.
Iesile lam elidodobeleyo lazinika i-herpes yesini. Ufuna ukwazi ukuba ndenze njani? Ndaphuma ndaya kwiklabhu. Kodwa ngaphambili kwakuqinisekile ukucoca imilebe yam kuko konke ukuqhambuka. Ndifakwe ngokupheleleyo kwiklabhu ndaza ndagoduka. Andizange ndadibana nabasetyhini, kuba ndilahlekile ngokuthe tye ndaye ndagqiba kwelokuba ndenze ikhompyuter kwaye ndijonge iphonografi ekwi-intanethi. Ndaye ndacinga ukuba ingumbono olungileyo ukuphosa icuba lokuhlafuna emlonyeni wam ngaphambi kwesandla. Hayi ngokungeyomfuneko ukuba nditsho andizange ndicinge nokuhlamba izandla zam ngaphambi kokuzanelisa. Ngosuku olulandelayo ndaziva nditshiswa yidick yam ndayijonga kamva ngobo busuku. Akukho nto, ngosuku olulandelayo nangona ndithathe olunye ujongo ndinama-zits amahlanu amancinci kanye apho ndibeka khona umnwe wam wesalathiso kwilungu lobudoda xa ndilibetha. Into elungileyo ndisebenzise umnwe wam wesalathiso ukukhupha imilebe yam ukuze ndiphose. Ngoku ndingumlahleki opheleleyo. Ukulinganisa, kunye ne-herpes kwaye ngaphandle komhlobo omnye. Ngokwenene ndisiqithi. Nditsho ndazi nokuba ngubani ofumene herpes kuye… ngokwam. Ndifuna nje ukufa.
(ibhinqa) Ndizama ukuyeka, kwaye ndimi ngomhla we-2, emva kokuphindaphindiwe kwakhona. Nangona ndiphanda iingcebiso zokubuyisela kwi-Intanethi, ndaqaphela ukuba umlutha wobulili obugqithisileyo awunakuqonda kakuhle kwaye waphonswa phantsi kwefriji ... Nangona xa ndaphuma kumama (ngubani osengqondweni yeengqondo), wayengakaze ave ngezilonda ze-porn. Wayengacingi ukuba yinto enkulu kangaka. Ndabona umyinge weeyunithi ze-3 zoononopasho ngosuku ngalunye, kwaye kukho izigidi ezifana nam. Ngoku ndifumana iimpawu zokurhoxisa ngokungathí sina: ukudandatheka, ubuninzi bokuxhalabisa, intloko, ukungabonakali kwe-libido .... Ndifuna ukwazi ukuba zikhona ezinye izilwanyana ezigqithisileyo ezihlaselwa ngaphandle. Le nto ayiyinto yobuntu. I-intanethi igcwele ihlazo elicekisekayo.
Abanye babahlobo bam abangamakhoboka oononophala babezibuza ukuba kutheni le nto ndibongoza ukuba ndibhence onke amantombazana. Kufana ne-horny-parasite ethathe ubuchopho bam esidlangalaleni kwaye yandenza andakwazi ukucinga ngenye into ngaphandle kokungena kwezi zinto zabasetyhini. Ayikwazi kugxila okanye isebenze ngokwesiqhelo.
Ukususela ekubeni ndiqale ukuhamba nge-MOing ebusheni bam (12-13ish, ngoku i-26) Ndihlala ndihlala ndiba ne-PMO kunye nemisipha yam Rhoqo ikhontrakthi kunye nomda ukuya kwindawo apho ndiphantse ndaya ku-O, ndiyeke ukuzivuselela ngokwam ndide ndizive ndinqwenela ukuba ndiqhubeke kwaye ndide ndiqhubeke ngaloo ndlela de ndigqibe (ngokusisiseko kuhlala kungumda). Ndinobunzima bokugcina ulwakhiwo ngaphandle kokuba ndihlala ndivuselelwa, ngelixa elinye, ndiqinisa izihlunu zam zangasese. Ngokukhawuleza xa ndiyeka ukuvuselela okanye ukukhulula izihlunu zam zePC, ndiqala ukuphulukana nokwakhiwa kwam. Kule minyaka imbalwa idlulileyo ndiye ndaphawula ukuba ndifumana ukuvuza kwamadlozi kunye nokuthambekela kwi-PE.
Ndandifumene ukuba ndi-ED kwaye ndi-PE ukusuka kwintambo ye-PC imisipha. Nawuphi na icebiso?
Ndiyindoda eneminyaka engama-22 ubudala kwaye phezolo ndisiwe esibhedlele ngenxa yokonakalisa kakhulu ikolon yam. Ndandixhalabile kwaye ndandifuna kakhulu ukukhululwa. Yehla kuyo kwaye ndaziva ndifuna ukukhuthazwa ngakumbi ngelixa ndibukele iphonografi. Mhlawumbi yayilixesha lokuzama ngoko ke ndagcina into kwi-anus yam kancinci kakhulu ndicinga ukuba ndiziva ndikhululekile kodwa phantse kwangoko ndaziva ndibuhlungu, uxinzelelo, nditshisa phantse emva kwepenisi yam. Uhambo oluya esibhedlele kunye nokuvavanywa kwekati kamva ndixelelwe ukuba ndinethamsanqa kakhulu ukuba ndingenzi monakalo omkhulu kodwa ndiya kwenzakala iiveki ezimbalwa. Ndiphume ngethamsanqa ngokumodareyitha ukuya kuvavanyo olubi kakhulu lwe-colitis. Inqaku lam yimvakalelo yokufuna okungakumbi nangakumbi okunokundanelisa ngelixa ndibukele iphonografi ngokundityhalela kude kakhulu ukuya kwindawo apho ndingonzakala kakhulu. Sukuvumela loo mqhubi okanye ukulambela okungakumbi kukwenze unikezele. Iya kukonakalisa! Yitshintshele kwinto elungileyo kwaye ukuqhuba ngakumbi kuya kukunceda kwindlela yakho yokuhlangana nomntu okhethekileyo kwenye indawo oza kukunika lonke ulwaneliseko ongenakulifumana kwiipikseli ezikwisikrini.
Ukujonga ngenxa yokuba ndayikhangele ukujonga iifostile kwandinika uhambo oluya esibhedlele.
Ezi zimpawu ze-3 ziphucula rhoqo xa ndiyeka iveki okanye ngaphezulu:
- Okokuqala ndaqala ukuziva uninzi lwamahlwitha okungahambi kakuhle kwaye awanomsindo. Baqala ebunzini lam ngaphaya kweso nganye kwilungu lam kwaye baqhubela phambili kwezinye iindawo zomzimba wam njengezandla namathanga. Ezi ntlupheko ze-muscle zenzeka ngokukhawuleza ngosuku.
- Ukuba nokuhamba kwamathumbu kwaba ngumcimbi njengoko ndihlala ndiziva ngathi imizimba yam inkqubo yokulahlwa kwenkunkuma ibingalingani kwaye ndihlala ndinyanzeleka ukuba ndiye kwigumbi lokuhlambela ngaphandle kokuziva ndinomdla wokuzikhathaza kuba yiyo loo nto okanye ndiqala ukuziva ndidumbile kwaye ndingonwabanga . Naxa ndizinyanzela ukuba ndiye, andinakugqithisa i-1/3 yento ebendifanele ukuyenza kwitrayi yokuqala. Ndivile ukuba oku kungenxa yokudumba kweprostate ngenxa yeeseshoni ezinde zemihla ngemihla zokufota.
- Kwimeko yokuphumla kunye nokukhululeka ndaqala ukuziva ukubetha kwam kwiindawo ezahlukeneyo zomzimba wam. yangathi ndiyayiva intliziyo yam ibetha. Oku kwakungaqhelekanga kuba andizange ndive oku kude kube kutshanje. kwavakala ngathi ndinengxaki yoxinzelelo lwegazi okanye into. Kodwa bekuhlala kukuziva ungonwabanga xa ndizama ukulala kwaye bendihlala ndiziva ukubetha kwam kwiindawo ezingathandekiyo emzimbeni wam. Ndiyijongile le kwaye ndayifumana ichaphazela abanye abantu phaya. Andiqinisekanga ukuba ikwahambelana nemikhwa yabo yokufota.
Ingaba: Kutheni iilgien iqala kwakhona?
Ndinoluhlu lweempawu endizigcinayo. Ayigqibekanga, kodwa andinalo naluphi na uhlobo lobunzima ngokulungiswa, ngoko ke iimpawu zibonisa iziphumo ezingafaniyo zokusetyenziswa koononophelo. Ndiyakholelwa ngokuqinisekileyo ukuba i-ED ibaluleke kakhulu kunesixa seempawu ezingathandekiyo ze-PA:
Ukugxilwa okuPhezulu;
Xa ubuhlungu bubuhlungu bubuhlungu, ndinamandla amaninzi kwiimeko ezininzi ukuba ndiqwalasele iingcamango zam okanye ndiphelise ukuyeka kwabo, kunye nokunciphisa amandla okunika ingqalelo ngokupheleleyo umculo okanye ezinye iindlela zokuzonwabisa. Imiphumo yale nto ibandakanya: Ukungakwazi ukugqiba umsebenzi, ukunciphisa amathuba okuzonwabisa konomculo, ukufunda kunye nemidlalo, kunye nomoya wokungafezekanga nokudideka.Ukuxhalabisa:
Uxhala lwam luhlala luhlala ixesha elide ngaphandle kokusetyenziswa koononophelo, kodwa ukugqithisa okubonakalayo kwinqanaba lokuxhalabisa kuyabonakala kwiintsuku emva kokuphinda kubuyele.-Ingxaki yokwenza ukwesaba:
Nangona uloyiko lwam lube lukhulu (ngaphandle kokukhathazeka okungapheliyo), lukhulu kwiintsuku emva kokusetyenziswa koononophelo kwaye lubonakala luqhubeka nokuhla kwexesha elithile ngexesha lokuqalisa.Ukunciphisa amandla engqondo:
Ndenze imisebenzi eyahlukeneyo kunye nokuvavanya ngexesha lokuqalisa kwakhona kwaye emva kokubuya kwakhona, kwaye kuye kwandula ukunyaniseka ukuba ubuchule bam buchule bukhulu kakhulu xa ungasebenzisi i-porno ngaphezu kokubuya kwakhona.Ingqondo engabikhoyo:
Ndiba nethemba elibi lokungenisekanga izinto, kwaye ndikholelwe oku kubangelwa ngumlutha wezobisi. Ndiyakrokrela ukuba le nto ayisayi kuba yinkathazo emva kokubuyiselwa kwengqondo kwi-porno.Ukunciphisa ukuhlaliswa kwabantu:
Ndibandakanyeke ngakumbi kwiimeko zoluntu xa ukusetyenziswa koononophelo kuncinci.U phuhliso:
Olu tshintshayo alukwazi ukuhlaziywa. Ndineziphumo ezininzi kwiindlela ezininzi xa ungasebenzisi i-porn okanye i-masturbating.
Ekugqibeleni ndiyayenza loo nto. Ndaye ndade ndade ndopha i-dick. Emva kokufunda kwi-Intanethi ndiye ndafumanisa ukuba kufuneka ndiqhekeze isitya ekuphumeni kakhulu. Okanye uhlela yonke imini de kube buhlungu, emva koko abanye. Ngokwenene kuyothusa ukoyikisa ukufumana igazi kwisidoda sam. Ayenzeki kwakhona. Akukho nto kufanelekileyo ukuyibona kwakhona. http://www.reddit.com/r/NoFap/comments/2ou2z9/blood_in_urine/
Kodwa phezolo, enkosi kuNoFap, bendinomnqweno onzulu womhlobo wam. Uyintombazana entle kodwa ecacileyo. Nangona kunjalo, icandelo leemvakalelo ngokubambisana kunye namandla esondo aphucukileyo andenze-ngelinye lamaxesha okuqala ebomini bam-NDIFUNA umntu kwigumbi elinye. Andizange nje ndi-horny ngenxa ye-horny, ndandifuna ukwazi umzimba wakhe kunye nokuzonwabisa. I-Porn yandifundisa ukukhanga kwizinto ezibonakalayo zesondo, kodwa ngoku ndiyazi ukuba kunjani ukulangazelela ukuthintela nokusondela. Ndinqwenela ukuba le mvakalelo iqhubeke, ke akufuneki ndifake. Ngubani onam?!
Ndineminyaka engama-28 ubudala. Ndine-masturbated ubuncinci kanye kanye ngemini okoko bendilikhoboka. Ndandihlala ndiyenza ngaphambi kokuba ndilale, hayi ukonwaba, kodwa kuba kubonakala ngathi kufuneka ndenze ukuze ndilale. Andizange ndidibane nomfazi, gcina ii-hugs ezimbalwa. Akufuneki ukuba, ndiyintombi. Kwaye inye kuphela endinetyala kuye ndim. Andizukuya nakweyiphi na imvelaphi eneenkcukacha (mhlawumbi ndiza kuthi kamva), kodwa umlutha wam waqala kwiminyaka yam yeshumi elivisayo kwaye ndilapha, kwiminyaka eyi-15 kamva. Ndikwangumlutha kwiiMMORPGs kwiminyaka emi-6 edlulileyo. Ezinye zeengxaki endizibonileyo:
- Ukuxhalaba kwezenhlalakahle-ndize ndithandabuze ukuya kwivenkile. Kunzima ukuba ndedwa kunye nomnye umntu, ngakumbi owasetyhini. Ndiyakuphepha ukuwela ebantwini xa ndiphandle.
- Ukujongela phantsi - bendihlala ndizixelela ukuba: "Kutheni uzama? Awumhle njengaye wonke umntu. ”
- Imemori engalunganga / inkungu yengqondo-ngakumbi xa kufikwa kumanani. Xa ndisebenza kufuneka ndijonge kathathu ukuba ndikhethe into echanekileyo kumthengi. Ndihlala kunzima ukuba ndigxile kwizinto ezithethwa ngabanye.
- Akukho bungozi bokuthatha -Akukho nanye. Ndihlala ndihlala apho kukhuselekile khona.
- Akukho sizathu sokukhuthaza- andikhe ndive mnqweno wokufezekisa nantoni na.
Ndafumana ukutshatyalaliswa kwitshitshi yam kwimizuzu embalwa. Ndandithanda ukuba ndibe neengxaki ngoko.
Unokuthi ube ngumlutha we-PMO ukuba ngaba
- Uye wafa emsebenzini, ngeeyure zoshishino.
- Ubiwe utyando kwidesksi osebenza nabo ngoxa usebenza ngokukhawuleza.
- Uke wabukela i-porn kwindawo kwindawo kawonkewonke, apho ucinga ukuba akukho mntu uyakubona, kodwa ukhathazekile ukuba ukubonakalisa kwiiglasi zakho kunokukunika.
- Ufake kwindawo yokuphumla phakathi.
- Uye wahamba ngexesha uqhuba, kodwa wagcina amehlo akho evulekile ngexesha le-orgasm ukuze ungazitsheli okanye ubani.
- Ufakile ngelixa usenkampini, kwaye unethemba lokuba ivumba alitsali izilwanyana zasendle
- Ufake kwisibhedlele sendawo yokuhlambela, kwaye wabona izinto ezinjengeenjazane ezidongeni kwiindonga zesitrato, kwaye waziva ekhululekile kunokuba zihlazeke.
- Ufake kwindawo yokugezela yendiza uze ujoyine iqela eliphezulu le-fappers.
- Ufake kwi-porta potty.
- Ufake kwi-a ezimbi i-porta potty emthendelekweni, phezulu kwinto ethile.
- Xa uzama isilwanyana esitsha, ufuna ukubona oko kuvela kuloo mziyo kufana
- Ulele ukulala, ngenxa yokuba unxilisekile ukuba ukwazi ukunqumla, kodwa uqhubeke ude ude uphume.
- Wakhe wabuyela kangangeentsuku kangangexesha elilodwa ukukhupha izikhala.
- Ngaba uke wadingeka ulinde ulusu ukuze uphilise olwenzakeleyo ukusuka ekugqibeleni.
- Uthathe umnxeba ngelixa uhamba, kuphela ukwahlula ingqalelo phakathi kwe-porn kunye nencoko.
- Ulahlekelwe ixesha lokugqibela kwaye uqhutywe emsebenzini wokuzimela ngenxa yokuhamba.
- Ubeka umngcipheko kwimiphumo embi yokulawula yonke iplanon yakho ngokufakela kwizitepsi zomlilo ophumayo ngexesha loqeqesho lwezakhono ezisisiseko.
- Unabantwana abahlala kunye nabo basuka ngaphandle kwendlu yakho kuba bakufumanisa ukuba uhamba kwindawo yokuhlala kwikhompyutheni emva kokuba ucinga ukuba wonke umntu ulele embhedeni.
- Kuye kwafuneka uhlambe iimfihlo zakho ngenxa yokulinga kwe-lube.
- I-98% yelotion owake waba nayo ihambe esandleni sakho kunye nepeni.
- Unako ukubeka uluhlu lweoli ekhitshini lakho ngokusebenza kwazo.
- Wakha wanyanzeleka ukuba udibane nokwabelana ngesondo okwenyani ukuze "uye kwigumbi lokuhlambela" ukuze ufumane iphonografi ukuze uncede ngesiqendu se-ED.
- Uke wahlala kunye nezinye izinto ezibalulekileyo, kwaye ukhulula ngaphezu kokulala ngesondo.
- Uthenge i-dvd ye-bootleg ye-dvd evela kubathengisi basesitratweni kumazwe ehlabathi wesithathu kuba umda wendlela bandwidth
- Wakhe wenza i-soundcheck ngokuphuma ngaphandle ukuze ubone ukuba ngubani na ongayiva kwisimo sakho sesithethi esiphantsi, kuba ukugqoka i-headphones kungenza kube nzima ukuva umntu ehamba kuwe.
- Ufake izihlunu zezononisi kwaye emva koko wathintela / uhamba ngeendlela zakho ezibangqongileyo.
- Usebenzise iiproxies zokubhenqa ukuze ujikeleze umntu elses iifayile.
- Uyazi kanye indlela yokucima yonke imifanekiso yomlando wakho wokukhangela kunye nemikhwa.
- Awunakukhumbula ukuba mangaphi amaxesha oyicime ngayo ingqokelela yakho yonke ngenjongo yokuyeka.
- Uke waphonsa ngeyakho inkunkuma kunye ku rhoxiswa iphonografi kuba ubusazi ukuba awukabethi iqhosha "elingenanto".
- Nanini na xa uthenge entsha, i-monitor enkulu kunye neyokuqala ofuna ukuyibona kuyo indlela i-porn ikhangele ngayo.
- Ukhuphele i-porn kwi-smartphone yakho ngokufakeka okuphathekayo ekuhambeni.
- Khange ukwazi ukuyeka, nangona ubufuna iminyaka
"I-factoid enomdla: Ndenze nje ezinye izibalo… Ukuthatha umyinge weyure kunye nesiqingatha semini yephonografi ukusuka kwi-12 ukuya kwi-27 yeminyaka, kuthetha ukuba ndibukele phantse UNYAKA we-porn. Ngokuqinisekileyo kunokwenzeka ngakumbi ngakumbi. Ndihambile apha naphaya kodwa ndafumana isabelo sam seentsuku ezingama-6 + ngeyure. ”
- Bona kwakhona Ngaba Unamathele kwiSono? Buza ASAM
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