在PMO開展了30年之後,我有生以來第一次勃起。

82天是一個很奇怪的數字,但今天我實現了一個重要的里程碑。 快速背景。 我已離婚,並嫁給了我的第一個女友(和第一個性伴侶)。 那持續了十多年,我很P愧地承認PMO使我幾乎沒有性生活。

離婚不僅是由於PMO,而且我可以告訴你,沒有性生活的戀愛關係很糟糕。

離婚後,我經歷了很多改變,包括減輕了很多體重,改變了工作,汽車,態度和其他一切。 但是,即使婚姻顧問正確地告訴我我沉迷於色情片,我也沒有更改PMO(我只是不知道退出的原因-我沒有GF,這真令人安慰)。

離婚一年後的快進,我遇到了一個漂亮的有愛心的女孩,你已經可以猜到這個故事了-我無法理解。 就像在我結婚期間一樣,我開始想起嘿,我很傷心,這個女孩將不得不忍受這樣一個事實,我是一個偉大的男朋友,除了性愛。

她非常支持我,並說我們會“解決”我的問題,這使我真正考慮了我的問題是什麼。 而且,由於我已經提前預覽了大約一年前的問題,因此我開始閱讀有關該問題的信息,找到了該論壇,YBOP和其他站點。 有一天,我在休假,而不是出門在外,我打算在筆記本電腦上看色情片並自己取樂,這打擊了我-這就是問題所在。 我要停下來

那天是82天前,我很自豪地說我在沒有手淫和高潮的情況下表現出色。 我不感到驕傲地說我似乎每隔幾天就會復髮色情內容-通常只有幾分鐘的比基尼/軟核,但我知道它仍然是錯誤的。 這是我仍在戰鬥的戰鬥。

但是,至少對於我來說,nofap似乎是解決方案的核心,因為我遇到的問題是由於死鎖而導致的脫敏-我從PIV或BJ或我的手上什麼都感覺不到。 通過完全消除我的手,我可以緩慢地(非常緩慢地,但是肯定地)感覺到。

在大約45天的時間裡,我肯定會感覺到PIED消失了,但是仍然不是完美的。 那時我告訴我的GF我的問題,這是另一件事在這裡辯論。 至少在我的情況下,告訴她很有幫助,這樣她才能理解為幫助我變得更好而必須做的事情。

來到隧道盡頭的光-希望這只是第一道光-今天早上,我能夠在PIV期間保持亮起,這是我生命中的第一次(而且我30多歲了)我只是從那給了一個女孩高潮。 我也感覺到了很多(顯然是因為我能夠進入並繼續前進),但是在完全重新啟動之前,我還有很長的路要走。

是的,這有點誇張,但我喜歡閱讀其他人的誇張帖子,因為他們的成功給了我成功的希望。 我還有一段路要走,但如果我能總結一下自己的旅程要點:

  • 長期以來PMO上癮,讓婚姻從內部腐爛
  • 最後在三個月前面對我的成癮,並且100%在nofap上沒有好處(沒有邊緣或手淫)但在色情上卻不是那麼好(大大減少了,但不是色情片)
  • 與新女朋友分享了所有細節。 因此,我在重新啟動的同時處於“簡單”模式下重新佈線。
  • 關於45天的PIED(用一些表現焦慮所取代)大大減少了
  • 能夠完成PIV 82的日子
  • 超過90天沒有我自己的性高潮,而且我不會爆炸-因此,並不是所有人都需要

在82天NOFAP之後,從未能完成PIV的PMO癮君子能夠做到這一點。 重啟絕對不是完整的,但正在進行中並值得做出犧牲

鏈接 - 82天發布–隧道盡頭有燈!

by yetanotheranon1


 

更新– 差不多四個月後,我開始變得正常了

我的四個月nofap週年紀念是在幾天前。 就在我遇到我現任女友的一個月之後,這是一個吸引我的駱駝的稻草,最終打破了PMO週期。 她是如此的甜蜜和理解,我希望她如此糟糕但無法表現,這是我生命中的第一次,我說我想要變得更好,不僅僅是為了她,而是為了我自己。 然後我閱讀,閱讀,閱讀並決定承擔該計劃。

<--break->” src=”https://www.yourbrainonporn.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/02/spacer.gif” title=”<--break-->“>It has not been without its bumps. I’ve been completely free of fap — no edging, no masturbation — but not pornfree. I’ve learned that its not because I am not satisfied looking at my girl, but its because of the novelty of seeing something new.</p><p>My main symptom was terrible PIED; while I was married for over a decade (to my first girlfriend and only sexual partner ever) I can’t say I ever successfully had PIV sex. I just assumed I was ‘broken’ at sex and that the PMO cycle was not the problem.</p><p>During the divorce I saw a counselor who told me I was addicted to porn, but I was going through a LOT of things and chose to ignore it, thinking whats the problem with PMO when you don’t have anyone. Looking back it was so stupid, but in my own defence, I was able to lose a LOT of weight and change my attitude towards women even before I quit PMO.</p><p>At around the 30 day mark of the program I told my girlfriend what I was going through. She was supportive and I stuck with ‘easy’ mode in the sense I still had sexual activity, just didn’t O, and still had PIED issues. At around the 90 day mark I for the first time in my life had PIV sex where I gave her an orgasm, and a few days later, I actually had an O inside a woman for the first time EVER. It was such a different experience that I didn’t even know it was happening till it was done.</p><p>Suffice to say I felt pretty good (even though like any one who is having first time sex, it was sooo quick). Then I think I fell into a flatline, or something happened. For the next two weeks I couldn’t get it up at all, and I was despondent. I felt like I did in my first relationship, that I was broken. But unlike last time, I felt horrible because I wanted to be better, because I know myself and my girlfriend deserve a normal sex life.</p><p>If one thing I’ve learned as a side effect of giving up PMO is that your emotions pour out of you like no one’s business. And this weekend after some progress in the right direction a few things happened that led me down a deep, dark path of self doubt. I can say honestly I never thought about relapsing, but I could not see the light at the end of the tunnel.</p><p>I also read the forums and we all know that in addition to the success stories we have stories of struggle, and there was a post yesterday that was something like “I just want to cry”. And I’m a typical guy, was told never to cry, and then you add on PMO which masks our emotions, I never cried. But I just cried about where I am, and cried in front of my girlfriend, just because the emotions were pouring out and I wasn’t bottling it up anymore and I wasn’t resorting to fap either.</p><p>As someone who PMOed for 30+ years and didn’t cry for 30+ years I can say that both things are definitely wrong. I can only wish someone I trusted had told me this. I can’t say that crying on its own felt better, but confronting my emotions, my insecurities, my fears, with someone I trusted was a big step of the process.</p><p>So after being reassured that my girlfriend and I would work on it as a team, and us talking over some things that normal couples do (such as being more expressive during sex over what we like, etc) we tried again the next couple of days. The next day, I was able to have PIV sex and have an O (so yes, the second time in my life inside a woman). Since I was aware of the sensation I was able to actually delay the O for a few minutes, but still not enough for my GF to O. The day after, I can say that it was a normal (still brief) sexual encounter .. I brought my GF to O and then I O afterwards.</p><p>In any regular life this is not something to write home about, because the sex was just ‘normal’. But after all this time, being normal is all I want. I now have regular issues – having to time my and my GF O, different sexual libidos, etc. And I’m not completely out of the woods. I am still so insecure about this and know that doubt will come into my mind again.</p><p>But I only know one thing — PMO is no longer an option. I just can’t do it anymore. One last aside. A couple of days ago my GF and I watched the movie Thanks for Sharing. That movie is about sex addiction but there’s a LOT in common with our problems (as porn and masturbation addiction are often also problems of sex addicts). My GF told me after watching it she felt a lot more understanding of the journey I was going through. Since she was sitting next to me she also said I was sweating a lot through the movie. I believe that was because it was uncomfortably accurate. So we had some more serious and frank discussions about the addiction and the recovery process.</p><p>I told her that while I’ve been tempted to fap I didn’t do it because I didn’t want to fail you guys online, fail the fellow soldiers in the nofap war, fail her, or fail myself. I think about all of those folks I’d let down if I fap and then I don’t. I told her the truth that I’ve had much more difficulty with porn and that I want to give it up for good too. And then she asked me, very sweetly, to give that up for her too. And you know, I’m glad she asked me. Some guys might take it poorly (like the Don Jon character did in that movie) but I know she did it because she loves me and now every time I’m tempted to click a link I don’t want to let her down.</p><p>tl;dr After four months with some severe ups and downs, many of them emotional, am able to have normal sex with all the normal issues that normal people have. The reboot isn’t complete but the journey is the ONLY option I have.</p><hr><p> </p><p><strong>UPDATE2  <a class=–您可以再次回來(由於色情而離婚)

所以,我一生都遇到色情問題。 我最好的朋友在高中時就向我介紹了它,當時我是一個令人討厭的書呆子,所以我記得花了數小時試圖從1200波特調製解調器下載GIF並將其隱藏在我父親的身邊(旁注:我父母的做法只是告訴我這還很糟糕,甚至沒有解釋為什麼不起作用。您還必須假設您的孩子比您更聰明-如果他們想做您不贊成的事情,他們會做的。

我與色情的關係早於我與女性的任何真實關係。 它並沒有真正影響我對待女性的方式,但是卻影響了我如何對待性行為。 最重要的是,我更喜歡沒有判斷力和按需進行的性愛,而不是真實性愛的起伏。

因此,儘管我對婚前沒有“性別”毫無保留,但我記得那是多麼的可憐,我幾乎立刻回到了色情片。 在新婚之夜沒有做愛,然後十四年,我會和我(現在的前妻)的妻子恐懼做愛,為避免這種情況找藉口,然後想去另一個房間找一些東西色情片。

雖然這不是我關係中的唯一問題,但事後看來,它是其中很大的一部分-可能是90%。 而且它甚至沒有缺乏性,實際上是缺乏親密感。 當我(現在是前妻)的妻子要求離婚時,我感到不安,現在,我會想一想為什麼她要等那麼久,我為什麼允許呢?

因此,在離婚程序中,我確實看到一位婚姻諮詢師正確診斷了我的色情問題。 但是我仍然不理會它,特別是因為我二十年來第一次單身,而色情是我一生所熟悉的東西。

然後我遇到了一個完美的女孩,我們發生了性關係。 真令人沮喪。 它又變差了。 但這一次,我不會只是假設“就是那樣”。 我需要弄清楚出了什麼問題,因為我和前妻一起假設“如果你有愛,性就沒有必要”或類似的胡話。 我現在知道,幸福,充實的性生活是建立長期戀愛關係的必要條件。

那時候我遇到了nofap和無色情論壇,並讀了一些關於像我這樣的人的故事。 這是一條漫長的道路,中間有多次復發,但近一年來我一直在努力放棄色情和色情。 現任女友了解我的問題,並一直給予支持。

自從我一直試圖放棄兩者以來,我的性生活要好得多(無論如何都不完美),並且能夠與她性高潮(我從未與前妻做過)。 總而言之,我又訂婚了,這次健康的性生活沒有計劃的一部分,沒有色情和色情。

tl; dr由於PMO成癮,近二十年來的第一次戀情從內部腐爛,導致離婚。 放棄PMO後能夠扭轉局面並建立新的關係(**我參與了**)。

所以對於那些覺得你處於低谷的人來說,我們很多人都在那裡。 無論你身在何處,你都可以轉身。