Ufuna ukwaneliseka okukhulu? Yazi ingqondo yakho.
Ubumnandi bezesondo kudala buchazwa njengendlela yokuhlangabezana neemfuno zesondo okanye ukugcwalisa umsantsa phakathi kwamaqabane ngaphandle kwe-sync libidos. Oku kuthatha umnqweno wesondo kufana nendlala: utya ngokulula (okanye i-orgasm) de ube wonele. Ngokucacileyo, ukuba unomdla omkhulu okanye owahlukileyo kuneqabane lakho, uya kongeza amashwamshwam, okanye uphulula amaphambili, njengoko kunokuba njalo.
Abantu abaninzi bajonga i-orgasms njengoko besenza izidlo zokutya. Ukuba ukutya okukhawulezayo kuyinto ekhethekileyo kuba uyakondla ngokukhawuleza, imfesane yakho oyithandayo ibalulekile kuba ikukukhawuleza, okanye ngokukhukula okukhulu kweemveliso ze-neurochemicals.
Ingaba kukho enye ibali? Kanye nje ngezinye iintlobo zokutya nokukhupha, mhlawumbi ezinye iintlobo zesini-mfazamo, (oko kukuthi, nantoni na nina yavusa ngempela). Ngokomzekelo, yenza ukutya okunesishukela umkhwa, kwaye mhlawumbi ungazikhanga nangona unganqwenela ukutya okunempilo, okokuba, nangona xa umzimba wakho akudingeki ukuba adle. Awukhangeli izakhamzimba, kodwa ungxamele ikhemikhali yengqondo ye-dopamine, ethi iphinde iphinde iphinde iphinde ikushiye unxunguphele ngakumbi.
Ngokufanayo, xa ucinga ngakumbi ngale ndlela-ntathu okanye iqabane le-kinky, kokukhona ingena kwaye yomelele ngakumbi ezo ngcinga zibonakala ngathi ziya kuba. Ucofa iiseli zemithambo-luvo kunye ukwakha indlela yokudibanisa imovie yangaphakathi kunye nemvuselelo yesondo. Ngenxa yoko, ukucamngca kungakhokelela ekudlaleni into engqondweni yakho njengeCD eyonakeleyo. Njengoko ubeka i-dopamine yakho nganye nganye thembiso yolonwabo, izifiso ze-orgasm zingaphakama ngaphezu kwexesha elidlulileyo le-libido. Ukukhathazeka kwakho okwandayo kunokukwenza kube nzima ukufumana ukwaneliseka. Ngelo xesha, ingqondo yakho ingaba yintshisekelo kwiinkcukacha zangempela. Omnye umfazi,
Ndiyakuthandana nokuzicingela kwiimeko zoononophelo. Kodwa ngoku ndiyigcine ibe yinto encinci, kuba xa ndandidla ngesondo nomyeni wam kwakhona kwakubonakala kunzima.
Ukukhuthaza ukuba uphucule kunye nefantasy kwahlukile kwimfuno yakho esempilweni yokunxibelelana ngokunzulu nomnye umntu. Ngokuvakalayo i-neurochemical "UYAFUMANA!" imiqondiso evela kwifantasy inokuthomalalisa ingqondo yakho umvuzo wesiphaluka-Nokubeka izinto eziphambili. Xa le nxalenye yokuqala yengqondo yakho ikhupha amaqhinga amnandi kwi-neurochemicals ngexesha lakho lefantasy kunokuba ngexesha lesondo kunye nomlingane wakho, inxalenye yakho iya kuxabisa imfesane yakho ngaphezu lakho iqabane. Oku kudala ukungquzulana kwangaphakathi kwaye kunokukukhohlisa malunga neenzuzo zobubele obushushu kunye nobudlelwane obusondeleyo, obunamathelwano obuboniswe ekuphuculeni inhlalakahle).
Ukucatshulwa kuthathwa ngokungenakubungozi, nokuba yintoni umxholo wayo. Nangona kunjalo, njengokuba kunjalo kwimeko yokutya, uhlobo kunye nobukhulu bokuvuselelana ngokwesondo kubonakala kubalulekile kwinqanaba leekhemikhali yengqondo. Omnye umntu wathi ngamava akhe:
Zininzi iingxaki zokuba namandla kakhulu kwiminqweno yesini. Ndiqaphele ukusebenza kwe-ratcheting: Nje ukuba ndenze into ngefantasy, ifantasy iba yinto enganiki mdla, kwaye emva koko kufuneka ndigqithele kwinto ebukhali ngakumbi kwaye ingekho kwimeko yokwenyani, efana nokunyuka kwe-porn. Ubunyani bokwenza umcabango onqabileyo akuhambelani nolindelo, kwaye uninzi lweengcinga ezintle alunakuba sempilweni kulwalamano ukuba lwenziwe.
Ngaba yinto enzima kakhulu ingxaki nina?
Ngaba uvuthondaba ngokunyuka kwamaxesha, okanye kwiimeko ezigabadeleyo? Ngaba ukhe ube neminqweno efunayo, engahlali ixesha elide naxa usiya kwi-fantasy yakho? Ngaba uyacaphuka xa iqabane lakho lingazifezekisi "iimfuno" zakho, yithi, imidlalo yolawulo okanye ukwenza iividiyo zasekhaya? Ngaba uxinzelelo lwakho luyanda? Ngaba uzahlula ngakumbi? Ngaba unomsindo okanye uyacaphuka? Ngaba bakho izixhobo ezibuthathaka? Ngaba ufuna ngokungapheliyo ukufumana le vidiyo igqibeleleyo yefantasy yakho ukuze waneliseke ekugqibeleni? (Ngethamsanqa naloo nto.)
Ukuba ufumana izinto ezinjalo, ngaphezulu, okanye kushushu, ii-orgasms aziyompendulo. Kungalixesha lokufuna ukoneliseka ngenye indlela. Inguqulelo yale ndlela ilandelayo inceda abaguli abanyanzelekileyo abagulayo ukuba baphinde basebenzise ubuchopho babo. Umntu onengxaki ye-OCD ukholelwa ukuba xa enokujonga nje ukuba isitovu sicinyiwe ngokwaneleyo, uya kuziva ekhululekile. Endaweni yoko, ixhala lakhe liyakhula ngenxa yokuba esenza ukuba ingqondo engasebenziyo ilokhwe ngalo lonke ixesha ejonga. Uqala kuphela ukwenza buthathaka ilogo xa yena akenzi ngokuqhutywa yiminqweno yakhe. Ngamanye amazwi, xa ukwenza oko, ngakumbi ufuna ukukwenza; ngaphantsi kokukwenza oko, ngaphantsi koko ufuna ukukwenza.
Endaweni yokuzama ukukhupha uxinzelelo lwakho ngokwesondo ngokucinga ngakumbi, yeka umoya uphume kumnandi wakho. Vumela loo ngqondo yengqondo ukuba buthathaka kukungakhathalelwa. Yeka uvuthondaba kwifantasy yakho. Yeka ukukhangela kwi-Intanethi ukufumana iividiyo zayo. Ngalo lonke ixesha ingena engqondweni yakho, yithi kuwe ngokudlala, “Yale!” Khawufane ucinge ngesandi esikhulu esihamba entlokweni yakho, kwaye ube nomfanekiso-ngqondweni wokungqisha ngesangqa esikhulu esibomvu ngokugqobhoza ngaphaya komfanekiso wakho we-flashback nge-clang. Kha wuleza ingqalelo kwenye indawo.
Njengoko uyeka ukukhuthaza ezo ndlela ziqhelekileyo zobuchopho, unxibelelwano kwii-synapses zeeseli zemithambo-luvo ezinxulumene noko ziyadodobala, kwaye iphupha liyakhulula ukubamba kwalo. Lumka ungalwisani nefantasy, uyibize ngamagama, okanye uyibhale (okanye wena!) "Uyagula" okanye "unesono." Ungazami ukuhlalutya ukuba wenza inkqubela phambili na. Amaqhinga anjalo andisa ixhala. (Ukuba ubeka ikhonkco phakathi koxinzelelo kunye nokuvuka, unokufumana ukuba ufuna ukwenza i-orgasm nanini na xa uxinezelekile.)
Ekuqaleni le nkqubo inzima, ibonakala ingenanto, kwaye ikhulisa ukukhungatheka. Ingqondo yakho ufuna ukulungiswa kwayo kweemichiza ze-neurochemicals kunye ukuhoxiswa akunakukhathazeka. Kungakhathaliseki ukuba unjani ukukhathazeka kwangaphakathi xa usebenzise le ndlela, nguwe do obala. Injongo yakho ngoku kukukhupha ngokukhawuleza yonke into engafanelekiyo ekuvukeni kwakho ngokwesondo, kwaye vumela ukuba ubuchopho bakho bubuyele. Kuya kuthatha umonde kunye nokuvumelana, kodwa no kwenziwa.
Uyayazi indlela yakho entsha esebenzayo xa inkanuko yakho yesondo ivela ngokwendalo ngaphandle kwemfesane. Lowo ngumqondiso obalaseleyo; Ingqondo yakho iyaziphendulela. Kusenokwenzeka ukuba ufumane izinto ezimbini: (1) imfuno yakho ye-orgasm incinci kakhulu kunokuba ubucinga ngelixa ubusebenzisa iphupha ukuya kuvuthondaba, kwaye (2) inyani iyanelisa ngakumbi njengoko ubuntununtunu bengqondo yakho busanda.
Omnye umntu, owayenentlungu kunye nokunganeliseki ngeminyaka ngenxa yokuba wayeqinisekile ukuba ukulala ngesondo kunye nomfazi ongathandekiyo yindlela yakhe yodwa yolonwabo, wayeka ukucinga ngento efanelekileyo kunye nokufuna i-sex yesini. Emva kwenyanga, wathumela:
Ndivakalelwa ngokukhawuleza kum umfazi kwaye kukufumana kulula ukulibala iimvakalelo zam. Ingxabano ibonakala ivela ekuziphatheni iimbono zam, kunokugxininisa kwinto yangaphambili ngexesha lesondo.
Iminyaka, loo fantasy yavela ngexesha lokwabelana ngesondo xa isini singafani nanto. Unxibelelwano lwam phantse nabo bonke abantu basetyhini, ngokusisiseko, lwalugutyungelwe yingcinga yokuqala yokuba 'ndingathini ukuba lo uzakundivumela…' Amabali amnandi andizisela imizuzu eli-10 yokukhwela kwimoto yokungathembeki. Ndiyivumele ukuba ichithe amakhulu eeyure ezingenakuphinda zenzeke.
Khumbula, iingcinga kunye nemifanekiso eyenza ukuba ubuni bakho bube ngokutsiba kunokuba ngaphezulu kweekhathuni, imikhombandlela ongayenzanga ngokungacacanga yokwenza ukuba ujikeleze umvuzo wakho wesekethe. Ingqondo yakho ngokungeyonyani iyazixabisa ezo zinto kuba zikhupha imichiza ye-neurochemicals, ke iyaqhubeka ibonisa ukuba ufuna enye i-orgasm esekwe kumnandi. Ngexesha elide, nangona kunjalo, ulwaneliseko lubonakala ngathi umkhiqizo wezobuchopho zengqondo, kunye nobudlelwane obusondeleyo (okanye amaninzi okusebenzisana nentlalontle), kunokuba ubude be-orgasm. Oku kulula ukubona xa ubuchopho bakho bubuyiselweyo.
Yintoni enceda okwangoku? Ukuzivocavoca ngamandla, udibaniso olunxulumene noluntu, imihla ngemihla ziphatha kunye nomlingane wakho, ukucamngca imihla ngemihla, ukudansa, i-yoga yoqabane, ixesha kwizinto eziphilayo, ukudlala okanye ukunyamekela nentsapho kunye nezilwanyana, ukusika iswekile kunye ne-cafeine, kunye nezinye izinto ezinobomi.
Ubumnandi bezesondo bubonakala njengendlela eqinisekileyo yokwandisa ukonwaba kwakho. Kodwa ukuba i-angst yakho iyanda, unokukhangela ukoneliseka apho ingafumaneki. Okuninzi kunye nokutshisa ii-orgasms zibonelela ngoncedo olukhawulezileyo, kodwa alonelisi ngokupheleleyo okanye ixesha elide. Ngamafutshane, ayizizo zonke ii-orgasms ezifana nokutya okutyayo. Abanye banokuninzi ngokufanayo neFritos.
Emva kokuba uvumele ubuchopho bakho bubuyele ngokulinganisela, unokufumanisa ukuba i-orgasm yexesha elihle-umveliso we-fantasy-free, ukuhlangana kwemvelo-kunciphisa ukuphazamiseka kunokubhekisana nomntu onqabileyo ngesondo. Unokukhathalela ukuzama ngaphezulu indlela yokuthandana.
Ukuhlanganiswa kwezibangela (eqokelelwa ngabafana beshiya i-pornography)
Ingxelo kaGuy kwiforum
Ndiqale [iinyanga ezintathu ezidlulileyo] Ibe sisihogo esinye sokukhwela kunye nengxowa exubeneyo yeziphumo - kodwa ekugqibeleni bekufanelekile. Le yingxelo yam.
Ndagqiba kwelokuba ndiyenze le nto emva kokudibana ne-ED nenye yamantombazana amnandi kakhulu endakha ndawabona. Wayengaphakathi kwam kususela kumhla wadibana nam. Siphume amatyeli ambalwa sogqiba salala. Oku akuzange kuhambe kakuhle. Sasinxilile, wagqibela esenza owona msebenzi. Ngentsasa elandelayo, wayefuna ukuhamba kwakhona kodwa andizange ndikwazi ukuyenza. Bendisazi ukuba lixesha lotshintsho.
I-Porn ayizange ibe yinto yam. Ndiza kufakela kwimibono yam kwaye bendiya kuyenza 1-2 amaxesha ngamaxesha. Oku bekuqhubeka oko bendikwibanga lesikolo. Kwakukho amaxesha (anje ngekholeji) xa ndandineentombi kunye nokufota kwakuza kuncipha ngenxa yokuba ndandibekwa, kodwa andizange ndiyeke ngokwenyani. Kule minyaka imbalwa idlulileyo, ndaziva ngathi andiyifuni ngokwenyani isondo ngoko ke ndaye ndanamathela ekufakeni.
Iintsuku ezimbalwa zokuqala azizange zinzima kum. Ngokuchaseneyo, iiveki ezimbalwa zokuqala zazilula. Ngethuba elithile ngeveki yesithathu, ndaqala ukufumana iziphumo zam. Iingcamango zam ziya kuza engqondweni kwaye umzimba wam ubuya kucela ukuba i-orgasm. Ukulwa nale nto kwathatha yonke into endiyenayo. Yonke imizuzwana embalwa, kwafuneka ndiqondise iingcamango zam. Kwakubuhlungu, kodwa kwasebenza.
Ngexesha elithile emva kweveki yesine, ndaqala ukuphawula utshintsho olunomdla kakhulu-ipenisi yam ibonakala ikhudlwana. Andiqinisekanga ngokupheleleyo ukuba kutheni. Igcwele, ijikeleze, kwaye ijongeka inempilo. Amanqanaba wam amandla angcono kunanini ngaphambili. Andikhethi bhuma ezindongeni, kodwa ndinamandla okungena ngaphakathi emsebenzini, esikolweni, nakweminye imisebenzi- ngaphambili, bendizakulala ikhefu rhoqo.
Ndenze oku ngombala okhuni, kodwa ndisaqhubeka ndikhohlise kunye namantombazana amantombazana apha naphandle, kodwa andizange ndibe nantoni na.
Ngokubanzi, ndingathi olu hambo belifanelekile. Iingcamango zesondo ezazingumnikazi wam azisekho - imifanekiso ephosakeleyo evela kwixesha elidlulileyo elingenayo impembelelo kum nantoni na.
Ndaye ndazixelela ukuba ndingabuyela emva emva kweentsuku ze-90, kodwa uyazi ukuba yintoni - andiziva ukuba ndiyayifuna. Ukuba ndiqala ukuphinda ndiphinde ndibuye ndibuyele kuloo mjikelo ukhohlakeleyo. Ke, namhlanje andithi enkosi. Andiziva ukuba kufuneka ndifake kwakhona. Ndicinga ukuba ndiza kuqhubeka ndithandana kwaye ndiqhubeke nokuqhubeka nendlela yam entsha yokuphila.
Iingcinga ziyaphela kwaye zife ukuba awuqhubeki ”
Esinye sezona zinto ziphambili emva kokuyeka iphonografi ibikukuba ziingcinga ezimbi, ezinye zazo ziya kuhlala nje imizuzwana embalwa, kodwa ezinye xa ingqondo yam "ingasebenzi", njengaxa uzama ukulala, kwaye ihlala ibandakanya iingcinga ezinde ezineenkcukacha. Kunqabile ukuba kukhokelele ekuphupheni ngokupheleleyo, (ngakumbi njengokuphulula, okanye into endiza kubhekisa kuyo njengengqondo yokuphulula amalungu esini.
Ndikumhla wama-62 wokuphinda ndiqalise ukusebenza kwaye kuyothusa ukuba iingcinga ngoku ziyaphela, kwaye ndiyaqikelela ukuba ziindlela zokwenza uhlengahlengiso kwingqondo yam, kwaye ndingakhali le squirt encinci yeDopamine.
Ngandlela ithile kufana nokuyeka "umhlobo wam wakudala", endinokundwendwela nabantu abandingqongileyo, kwaye akukho namnye owakhe wanomkhondo. Kwinqanaba lam lokuqala lokuqalisa kwakhona bendiya kuqhubeka ndisiya kuyo yonke indawo "eyonwabileyo", nangona bendisazi ngcono, kodwa ngenxa yokuba bendicinga iminyaka eli-10 + yayiyindawo enzima ukuyeka ukutyelela.
Ngoko kukho nantlanzi ye-melancholy apha, kodwa ngoku ndiyabona ukuba ngenxa yokuba iphela ingqondo yam (ekugqibeleni) iphilisa.
Ndifuna nje ukwabelana ngale mpumelelo endiyifumanayo! Ukuba omnye umntu unengxaki efanayo nemibono, kungathatha umzuzwana, kodwa baya kuphela kwaye bafe ukuba awuqhubeki "ubondla"!
UPDATES
- Ukuxilongwa ngokusemthethweni? Incwadi yokusetyenziswa kwezifo zonyango ngokubanzi, Ulwahlulo lwaMazwe ngamazwe (ICD-11), iqulethe uvavanyo olutsha ezifanele ukuxhatshazwa koonwabo: "Ukuxhatshazwa kwezesondo ngokunyanisekileyo. "(2018)
- Umlingo woTywala / wesondo? Eli phepha liluhlu Izifundo ze-39 ze-neuroscience (I-MRI, i-FMRI, i-EEG, i-neuropsychological, i-hormonal). Banikela ngenkxaso enamandla kwimodeli yoxilongo njengoko iziphumo zabo zibonakalisa iziphumo zeengqondo ezichazwe kwizifundo zokuxhatshaliswa kweziyobisi.
- Iingcamango zangempela zeengcali zoononongo / isondo? Olu luhlu luqulethe 16 Ukuphononongwa koncwadi kwangoku kunye neenkcazo ngenye yezinzulu zenzululwazi kwihlabathi. Yonke inkxaso ngenkxaso yomzobo.
- Iimpawu zokuxhatshazwa kunye nokunyuka kwamanqaku angaphezulu? Ngaphezulu kwezifundo ze-30 zokunika ingxelo ezifunyenweyo ezihambelana nokwanda kokusetyenziswa kwe-porn (ukunyamezelana), ukuhlala kwi-porn, kunye neempawu zokurhoxa (zonke iimpawu kunye neempawu ezinxulumene nomlutha).
- Ukuxubusha ingongoma engathethiweyo yokuthetha "inqweno yesini ephakamileyo" ichaza ukuxhatshazwa koonobumba okanye ukuxhatshazwa ngokwesini: Ubuncinci izifundo ze-25 zikhohlisa ibango lokuba isini kunye neziyobisi ezingamanyala "banomnqweno ophezulu wesondo"
- Iiduna kunye neengxaki zesondo? Olu luhlu luqukethe izifundo ze-26 ezidibanisa ukusetyenziswa koonwabo / ukuxhatshazwa koononophelo kwiingxaki zesini kunye nokwenyuka kokunciphisa isisombululo sezesondo. I fIzifundo ze-5 ziluhlu lubonisa bangela, njengabathathi-nxaxheba baqhelise ukusetyenziswa koononophelo kunye nokuphulukisa izifo ezingasinikiyo zesondo.
- Imiphumo yeSigxina kwimibutho? Izifundo eziphantse ze-60 zidibanisa ukusetyenziswa koononophelo ukuya kwisini esincinci kunye nolwaneliseko lobuhlobo. (Ngokuba sifuna zonke Izifundo ezibandakanya abesilisa ziye zaxela ukusetyenziswa koononophelo olunxulumene nalo zihlwempu zesini okanye ukwaneliseka kobudlelwane.)
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