"Kutuluka Monga Chizolowezi Cholaula" (Atlantic)

Kumayambiriro kwa mwezi uno Atlantic Ndinafotokozera momwe ndinadziwira ndi zolaula, ngati sindikudziŵa pomwe ndikugwa pansi pa ambulera imeneyo. Chilembacho chinandichititsa kuti ndizimasuka kufika kumagulu amodzi ndikuyang'ana chithandizo chimene ndinkamva kuti ndikufunikira.

Nthawi yomweyo, idakhala ndi nthawi yayitali kuti ndidziwe: Ndi anthu angati omwe amawonera zolaula monga ine? Ngakhale palibe kafukufuku wokhudzana ndi zolaula, pali njira yamoyo yomwe ikupezeka kwa anthu ena omwe ali ndi zithunzi zolaula pa intaneti.

Avereji zaka za mwana wa US ndi choyamba kuonera zolaula ndi 11 malinga ndi Family Safe Media, ngakhale ena amati ili pafupi ndi 14. Malinga ndi Banja la Norton, mwa kufufuza kwa ma 3.5 milioni ku 2009 ndi ana, mawu achisanu ndi chimodzi omwe anafufuzidwa kwambiri anali "zolaula." Kwa ana osachepera asanu ndi atatu, ndilo lachinayi lomwe lidayankhidwa kwambiri.

Mwachiwonekere, ambiri onga ine anayamba kuyang'ana zolaula pamene analibe pubescent, ndipo ofufuza akuti kuti pali kulumikizana pakati pazogwiritsa ntchito zolaula koyambirira komanso zovuta zakukakamiza panjira.

Malingana ndi kafukufuku wa 2009 wa ophunzira a koleji ya 30,000, Pafupifupi a 10 peresenti ya ana aamuna a ku United States amawerengedwa kukhala ogwiritsa ntchito zolaula (maola asanu mpaka 20 pa sabata), ndipo 62 peresenti ya anyamata aku koleji amaonera zolaula pa intaneti sabata iliyonse. Ku Brigham Young University ku 2007, 21% ya amuna aku koleji adanenanso kuti amaonera zolaula "tsiku lililonse kapena pafupifupi tsiku lililonse."

Monga akulu, mavuto angapitirire. Pa 2003 American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers pamsonkhanowo, awiri mwa atatu alimi a milandu adanena kuti kugwiritsa ntchito Intaneti molakwika kunathandiza kwambiri kuthetsa banja pa chaka chomwecho, ndipo Pa 56 peresenti ya milandu yothetsa banja Anaphatikizapo mnzanu yemwe anali ndi chidwi kwambiri ndi zojambula zolaula. Zaka zisanu ndi zitatu m'mbuyomo, zolaula sizinayambe zothetsa banja.

Ndipo monga dziko, timaonera zolaula zambiri - Anthu okwana 40 amayendera malo olaula kamodzi pamwezi (ndi pafupifupi m'modzi mwa anthu asanu ndi atatu aku America). Ndipo monga anthu ambiri pa intaneti, 25 peresenti ya zopempha zathu zosaka ndi 35% yodabwitsa yomwe timatsitsa ndi zolaula.

Ngakhale kuti maphunziro ena omwe adafufuzira anthu ambiri amatha kuchita zimenezo Zithunzi zolaula pa intaneti sizovuta kwenikweni, ndikofunikira kudziwa kuti kuchuluka kwa zolaula "pa intaneti" ndizochulukirapo mwa omwe ali pachiwopsezo: achichepere, amuna olumikizidwa pa intaneti. (75 kwa 85 peresenti a ogwiritsa ntchito zolaula pa Intaneti ndi amuna).

Ndipo ngakhale kuti zolaula za pa intaneti sizinawunikiridwe mwachindunji, kafukufuku wina akuti Kuledzera kwa intaneti kumawonjezereka kwambiri kuposa a 23 peresenti kwa anthu ena a ku koleji, ndipo zolaula zimaonedwa kuti ndizo oledzera kwambiri Intaneti.

Ndinkangoyang'ana zolaula maola angapo pa sabata ndipo sindinayang'ane zolaula kwazaka zambiri, koma zikupitilizabe kusokoneza moyo wanga - kotero kwa ena, malowo sakhala okwera kwambiri zolaula za pa intaneti zisanayambitse mavuto. Zikuwoneka kuti pakhoza kukhala ochepera khumi mpaka makumi awiri mwa XNUMX aliwonse azaka za koleji omwe ali ndi zovuta zokhudzana ndi zolaula pa intaneti, ndipo ndi ana ambiri omwe amawonera ali aang'ono pomwe intaneti yothamanga kwambiri imatha kupezeka, anthuwa adzakhala akulu bwanji nthawi yomwe ana am'badwo wanga amakhala azaka zaku koleji?

Mwamwayi, mudzi uwu ukukonzekera kale.

Kupeza zolaula pa Intaneti Masewera oti tikambirane za kugonana ndipo kumangokhalira kugonana ndi chiwerewere kukungoyenda pamwamba pa intaneti. Izi zikuphatikizapo NoFap ya Reddit (kuti mamembala amathandizana wina ndi mnzake kuti "asamaberekane," kapena kuseweretsa maliseche), Ubongo Wanu Wokwanira (kumene ogwiritsa ntchito amafalitsa makope oletsa zolaula), Adasankhidwa, ndi kuphedwa kwa malo osungira thupi (makamaka ogwirizana ndi Erectile Dysfunction makamaka), komanso mazenera ena ozungulira zochitika zowononga zolaula monga Dyetsani Wolf Wolf.

Zambiri kuposa ziwerengero zochititsa chidwi, kuwonjezereka kwa midzi imeneyi kunandiwona ngati chitsimikizo cha konkire kuti anthu ambiri, makamaka odzidalira, akuvutika ndi zolaula: NoFap anathetsa olemba 60,000 mwezi watha.

Ena mwa maguluwa akusonkhanitsa zambiri zosangalatsa za "omwe amakonda kugwiritsa ntchito zolaula" komanso njira zothetsera mavuto - kugwiritsa ntchito intaneti palimodzi polimbana ndi zomwe zidagwirira aliyense wogwiritsa ntchito payekha. Mwachitsanzo, gulu la "fapstronaut" la Reddit lidachita a kudzifufuza patokha mu April 2012 ndi oposa 1,500 omwe akuyankha, zomwe zimafotokozera chiŵerengero chawo, zizoloŵezi zowononga maliseche, ndi zotsatira zake zozizwitsa za kudziletsa kugonana.

M'munsimu muli grafu kuchokera ku kafukufuku wofotokoza zosakondweretsa za kugonana, zomwe akatswiri ena amanena kuti zimakhala zovuta kuwonetsa pa Intaneti:

Inde, anthu akukonzekera mbali yaikulu kuti adziwe zomwe zasintha miyoyo ya iwo omwe akudwala matendawa. Pamapeto pake, Gary Wilson ndi Marnia Robinson, omwe anayambitsa Ubongo Wanu pa Zithunzi, aloŵererapo kuti azitha kugwira ntchito za wothandizira komanso wothandizira.

Potengera kusanthula kwawo zakumwa zoledzeretsa, Wilson ndi Robinson akuwonetsa kuyesaku: palibe zoyeserera zogonana malinga ndi momwe zingathere "kuyambiranso." Mawuwa amatanthauza kubwerera ku "chizolowezi" chogonana komanso libido kudzera kufooka kwa njira za neural zomwe zimalumikizana ndi chidwi chokhudzana ndi zolaula. Kuchokera pamatenda a neuroplasticity, amaganiza kuti ma neuron omwe amasiya kuwombera limodzi, kusiya kulumikizana limodzi - kuti titha kusintha ubongo wathu kuti tikhale olimbikitsidwa kapena kuti tisasangalale ndi zolaula za pa intaneti.

Awiriwo akufalitsa zokumana nazo zaogwiritsa ntchito "poyambiranso", zomwe amalipoti nthawi zambiri zimatenga pafupifupi miyezi iwiri kapena isanu ndi umodzi. Patsamba lino, anyamata ambiri omwe ali ndi vuto la erectile amalephera kuchira msanga ngati atasiya kuseweretsa maliseche komanso kwakanthawi kochepa, kotero ogwiritsa ntchito amatchula kuyesa kuti "palibe PMO" (zolaula, maliseche, maliseche).

Ubongo Wanu pa Zithunzi limayamikizira izi ndi phunziro zomwe muyenera kuyembekezera pamene mukusiya kuchokera kwa PMO - kutengera maakaunti ochokera kumadera angapo paintaneti - monga kutaya kwakanthawi kwa libido mpaka "flatline," ndi nthawi yowonjezera nthawi ngati muli achichepere, makamaka ngati munayamba kuseweretsa maliseche pa intaneti. Tomo la ndemanga zoyamika pa Ubongo Wanu pa Zithunzi akuwonetsa kuti chitsogozo ichi chalepheretsa owerenga ambiri kuti abwerere kachiwiri ngakhale kuti akudandaula zizindikiro.

Kwa ine, mfundoyi inali yophulika. Ndine osati yekhayo kunja uko amene wasiya kugwiritsa ntchito zolaula koma sanapezenso. Mkhalidwe wanga is makamaka ndikulimbikira chifukwa ndinayamba kugonana ndi zolaula. Ndipo ine ayenera pitilizani.

Kuphatikiza apo, pamapeto pake ndinali ndi zida zofufuzira zoyesayesa zanga "zolephera" poyambiranso. Kusukulu yasekondale, pomwe ndimamva kuti zikhumbo zanga zolaula zidasokonekera m'njira zomwe sindimakonda, ndidatenga miyezi isanu ndikuchotsa maliseche. Koma, mausiku ambiri ndisanagone, ndimaganiza zongoyerekeza zolaula ngati mphotho yanga. Nditayambiranso kugonana, zinali zosavuta kupewa zolaula, koma malingaliro anga anali osiyana kwambiri ndi zolaula zomwe ndimaziwona.

Ndinalemba izi Ubongo Wanu Wokwanira, ndipo wina anandiuza momveka bwino: ndikuwotcha moto palimodzi, waya palimodzi, ndipo ngati ndikanakumbukirabe malingaliro awo, ndinkasunga njirazo zamphamvu. Gary Wilson Ubongo Wanu pa Zithunzi amapita patsogolo, kuwuza owerenga kuti asamaphunzire kulemba kapena kuwerenga mafilimu komanso osagwiritsa ntchito maulendo apamtunda kapena mapulogalamu oyendayenda ngati Grindr kapena Tinder, chifukwa chowonekera kudzera pa fano pambuyo pofufuza zachilendo kungakhale kovuta.

Ngakhale kuti zothandiza kwambiri, kufufuza kosadziwika kumeneku ndi zolemba zapamwamba sizinalowe m'malo mwa uphungu wamankhwala. Kotero ine ndinatembenukira kwa gulu lamaganizo kuti ndikawone ngati iwo anali ndi chirichonse choti anene. Kodi iwo adadziwa kuti ichi chinali vuto?

Malingaliro a akatswiri pankhani yolaula zolaula Mwamwayi, zikuwoneka kuti maganizo okhudzidwa pa matenda a zolaula m'magulu asayansi adasiya asing'anga osakonzekeretsa kuchiza odwala.

A kufufuza kwa akatswiri a 2009 adawonetsa kuti pa 75 peresenti adaona kuti sali okonzeka kuchitira chithandizo owonetsa zithunzi zolaula, pamene 50 peresenti sanazindikire kuti kusiya zolaula kukhala cholinga chachikulu cha chithandizo, ndipo ochepa a 20 amavomereza kapena sanathetse vutoli.

Ngakhale kuti odwala ambiri akuthandizidwa ndi khalidwe lachiwerewere, odwala ambiri am'banja ndi achibale ali nawo zotsitsa zotsatira za "chizolowezi chogonana pa intaneti," kulola malingaliro awo pazolaula kuti asokoneze mayeso awo odwala. Ngakhale pali magulu othandizira apadera monga Kugonana Odzidzimutsa Osadziwika komanso ngakhale aphunzitsi ogwiritsira ntchito mankhwala osokoneza bongo ogonana, nthawi zambiri, anthu omwe afuna thandizo kwa akatswiri akhala akulepheretsa kukumana.

Mwamwayi, othandizira ena adawona izi zikubwera ndikuyesera kukonzekera anzawo.

Pakatikati mwa 1990s wodwala wogonana ndi Wendy Maltz ndi mwamuna wake Larry Maltz, omwe ali ogwira ntchito zachipatala chovomerezeka mwalamulo, adawona kuwonjezeka kwa chiwerengero cha makasitomala akuyandikira ndi mavuto okhudzana ndi zolaula; zolaula sizinayambe zowonjezera kugonana koma ngati mpikisano wotsutsana. Iwo adakumananso ndi othandizira ena ndipo adapeza umboni wotsimikizira izi, choncho adayamba kupempha odwala omwe ali ndi nkhawa zolimbana ndi zolaula.

Mu 2008, iwo adafalitsa buku lovomerezeka, Msampha Wolaula: Chofunika Kwambiri Chothana ndi Mavuto Otsogozedwa ndi Zithunzi Zolaula . Pofuna kupewa matendawa, a Maltz amathera gawo loyambirira la bukuli pofotokoza momwe anthu amagwera mu "msampha wolaula," kuphatikiza nkhani zosimba za chisudzulo, kumangidwa, komanso manyazi. Amapereka buku lonselo kuchiritso, lomwe limayamba ndikufotokozera wina za vuto lanu lachiwerewere, ndikupita kukalembetsa pulogalamu yothandizira, ndikupanga "malo opanda zolaula" kuti mupewe kubwereranso, kuyankha mlandu, ndipo pamapeto pake "kuchiritsa kugonana. ”

Kuchokera nthawi imeneyo, madokotala ena adzipanganso njira zowonongeka ndipo adapanga zojambula zatsopano. Tal Croitoru, MSW / MBA, imayika "zolaula" m'gulu lomweli monga PTSD ndipo yakhala ikuchita upainiya EMDR (kusuntha kwamaso ndikukonzanso) ndi odwala ake - kuthana ndi "zoopsa zolaula" powonera makanema owopsa ndikuwabwezeretsanso - ndipo wanena zotsatira zabwino. Ena amalimbikitsa kutha kwamaphunziro kapena njira zakuzindikira zamankhwala (ngakhale kudzera mu pulogalamu ya pa intaneti) kuyimitsa "kubwereranso" kwamalingaliro azolaula ndikuti m'malo mwake musinthe zithunzizo ndi zina zoyenera.

Komabe, kwa ena a ife, zosokoneza kwambiri zolaula ndizomwe zimapanga pakati pathu ndi anzathu apamtima. Pozindikira izi, akatswiri ena othandizira ma psychology apereka ndemanga za njira zopezera chithandizo cha mabanja.

M'buku lake Amuna Amene Ali Pamwambo Wanga, Dr. Brandy Engler akufotokozera momwe Casey adavutikira ndi "chibwenzi chogonana" pachibwenzi chake ndi chibwenzi chake Amy chifukwa malingaliro ake okonda zolaula amadzimva ngati akumupandukira - kotero adawabisa. Dr. Engler adawathandiza awiriwa kumasula mayanjano awo achikondi ndi malingaliro azakugonana, kulola kuti Casey atulutse manyazi ake ndipo Amy afufuze zachiwerewere.

Otsutsa ena a zizoloŵezi zolaula amachititsa kuti munthu asamangokhala ndi khalidwe labwino komanso asagwiritsidwe ntchito molakwika. Rob Weiss, katswiri wodziwa kugwiritsira ntchito kugonana kwapadziko lonse ndi woyambitsa wa Sexual Recovery Institute, sagwirizana kwambiri.

Weiss adandifotokozera kuti mankhwala ochiritsira monga chizolowezi chazothandizidwa mothandizidwa ndi magulu pagulu komanso kuyankha bwino zatsimikizira kuti ndi zothandiza popewa zosayenera. Zomwe akuganiza kuti ndi gawo loyamba lofunikira. “Odwala anga ambiri sangathe kuwona zovuta zaubwana. Mankhwala osokoneza bongo amakonzekeretsa anthu kuti alandire chithandizo chamankhwala. ” Mwinanso zopweteka kwambiri, Weiss wawona odwala omwe amalandila chithandizo chamankhwala okhaokha, osachita chilichonse, omwe adachotsedwa ntchito kapena kusudzulidwa panthawi yamankhwala chifukwa sanayambiretu zizolowezi zawo zowononga.

Kuphunzira zonsezi kunandipangitsa kudzimva ndikudzidalira kwambiri ndi zina zanga zokhudzana ndi momwe ndikudziwira pa kink ndi nthawi zina ndikuzengereza kuthamangitsidwa. Ayenera kukhala wokondedwa wanga pogonjetsa manyazi anga, osati woweruza ndi jury.

Kulankhula za zolaula Izi zikamamvekera bwino, tikukhulupirira kuti ofufuza aphunzira zamankhwala amitundu yonse. Koma pakadali pano, chinthu chimodzi chomwe aliyense amavomereza - kuchokera kwa fapstronauts a Reddit kupita kwa akatswiri azakugonana - ndikuti kuyankhula za izi kumathandiza.

Pa chochitika Wowulutsa pawailesi ya Gary Wilson ya "Ubongo Wanu mu Jungle ya cybersex Jungle", Wendy Maltz adakambirana zakufunika kothetsa ziwonetserozi:

Chinthu chachikulu ndikuthetsa manyazi ndikutuluka kudzipatula. Pezani wina woti muzilankhula naye - atha kukhala wothandizira, atha kukhala bwenzi, akhoza kukhala wachibale, akhoza kukhala wokwatirana naye kapena mnzake. Ngati izi zikuwoneka ngati gawo lowopsa, bwererani pang'ono ndikungodziphunzitsa za zolaula zamasiku ano. Ndizosiyana kwambiri ndi Playboy magazini akale. Maphunziro amachepetsa manyazi. Mukuzindikira kuti simuli nokha ndipo ndichinthu chatsopano.

Ngakhale kuphunzira za zizolowezi zolaula ndikupeza anthu oti azikambirana nawo kwakhala kumasula kwa ena, manyazi - omwe amafika pamtima pazambiri zomwe amuna amaganiza komanso zakugonana - zakhala chete. Ili linali yankho limodzi lomwe ndidalandira kuchokera kwa wowerenga yemwe amawonera zolaula monga S & M, Diaper, ndi Furry:

Monga bambo, kuyankhula za nkhaniyi kwa bwenzi langa lapamtima kunangobwera nditangotenga MDMA ndipo sindinatchulepo zabwino zokhazokha, S&M yokha. Zimatsutsana kotheratu ndi chiyembekezo chamwamuna ndi akazi. Itha kukhala yolumala nthawi zina. Chifukwa sindimadziwa zomwe zimachitika sindimatha kuyankhulana ndi bwenzi langa ndipo zidatilekanitsa.

Pamene ndinalandira mayankho ambiri ngati awa chidutswa changa choyamba pa zolaula zamaliseche, ndipo pomwe ndimayamba kugawana nawo nkhani yanga momasuka ndi abwenzi, abale (eya, ndidauza makolo anga), ndi mnzanga wapano, ndidayamba kumvetsetsa momwe kusalankhulira za izi - kudzipatula - kunali kovuta kwambiri pazolaula zanga zapaintaneti gwiritsani.

Ndikutulukira kuntchito zanga zazikulu Sindikukhulupirira kuti mumachita chidwi chotere. ”

Monga gawo la njira yothetsera bwenzi langa za zolaula, tinaganiza zoonerera zolaula pamodzi. Iye anali asanayambe awonapo zolaula kale, ndipo atatha kanema yoyamba, iye ankanena mosapita m'mbali kuti zinali zomunyansa kwa iye. Makamaka masewera achizungu.

Nditamuuza kuti zochitikazo zidandichititsa chidwi kwambiri, kuti ndipite patsogolo kuti ndikafike pachimake, samatha kuzimvetsa.

Ndinadziyang'ana ndekha ndikukwiya. Ndinasokonezeka pomwe kumenyedwa ndi mkwiyo, koma ndimadziwa komwe amamulondolera. Kwa akazi onga iye. Ndinakwiya kwambiri moti sindinathe kuyankhula.

Tinawona zochitika za msungwana wa nkhumba atagonana ndi mnzako wachikulire ndipo malingaliro a ana aamuna anandigwera pamutu panga pamodzi ndi kanema: iye Sanganene kuti zolaula ndizonyansa. iye sakanatsutsana nane. iye sangakane ayi. Ndinali wachinyamata wokwiya kachiwiri, ndikungofuka.

Kutalika kwa kuwonera zolaula kwanga kunali unyamata wanga - kusekondale - pomwe ubale uliwonse unkamveka ngati slat patali pa mlatho wautali. Zolaula sizinangokhala ngati njira yothetsera kukhumudwa kwanga pogonana; inali mtengo wokhazikika kuti ugwere mmbuyo.

Chifukwa chake mnzanga atapereka lingaliro lakukanidwa, mawonekedwe anga amanjenje adandichitira chidani, nkhawa, komanso chilakolako. Ndinabwerera. Mpaka nthawi yomwe uyu kapena msungwana uja: adatulukira usiku kusukulu kuti akasute ndi ine koma amangofuna kuti akhalebe abwenzi; adakhala pachibwenzi kwa chaka chathunthu koma sanali wokonzeka kumuvula malaya; sakanatha kusiya kundipsompsona pamene anali ataledzera koma samayamba pomwe anali wosamwa.

Nthawi zonse ndinkadziimba mlandu ndikamaonera zolaula ndipo ndimafunikira zinthu zoti ndiziimba mlandu. Bwanji amayi omwe "adandikakamiza" kupita kumeneko?

Mnzanga anatseka msakatuli ndipo tinagonana koipitsitsa kuposa kale lonse. Anati inali nthawi yoyamba kuti "ndimugwire."

Ndinazindikira kuti fanizo la "msampha" la a Maltz linali loyenera kwa ine. Monga mwana wazaka 12 komanso intaneti, ndinayamba kukhala ndi mayankho abwino.

Zithunzi zolaula zinkandilimbikitsa mobwerezabwereza khalidwe langa loipa komanso zolaula, ndipo ndinkangowonongeka kwambiri ndi zithunzi zolaula zomwe zinali zovuta kwambiri chifukwa zinali zovuta kwambiri. Pa nthawi yomweyi, makhalidwe amenewa anali odzudzulidwa komanso otsutsidwa ndi anthu, motero ndinayamba kumva kuti ndikukonda kwambiri, ndikuwongolera kuti ndizidalira zolaula zokhudzana ndi kugonana.

Ndinayang'ana magazini yosalala ya Maxim ndipo ndimatha kuyankhulabe ndi abambo anga. Ndimayang'ana zolaula za POV zolimba ndipo ndimatha kuzigawana pa CD ndi anzanga apamtima. Ndinawonera zolaula zodziwika bwino ndipo ndikadangopita pakompyuta yanga. Ndipo ndikadangokhala ndi kompyuta yanga, bwanji osayimira pomwepo?

Makompyuta sanaweruze, amangopereka, ndikuvomereza: pimp, hule, amayi.

Zachidziwikire, zokumana kwanga ndi azimayi enieni zidakhumudwitsidwa, zomwe zidapangitsa kuti zikhale zosavuta kutembenukira kumawebusayiti omwe adasungidwa ndi zovuta zenizeni m'moyo. Sindinkafunika kuganiza - zinangogwira ntchito. Monga piritsi.

Mphamvu zolumikizana izi zidandichititsa kuti ndikhale pandekha. Ichi ndichifukwa chake - kwa ine, ndi ena omwe adawafotokozera pamabwalo azungulira pa intaneti - kuyankhula za zolaula kwakhala kumasula kwambiri.

Ngati ndiuza ena, ndiye kuti makompyuta siwo okhawo omwe ndingapite kukamvera zachiwerewere. Ndipo ngati ena andilandira, ndiye sindichita manyazi. Ndipo ngati zikhumbozo sizili zochititsa manyazi, ndiye kuti amataya chilakolako chakuda, ndipo ndimasiya kuzolowera. Ndipo sindimamva ngati kuti ndizo zonse zomwe ndikufuna - ndikusowa zogonana momasuka.

Kuphatikiza apo, zokumbukira zomwe zimakhudzana ndimphamvu ngati manyazi zimasungidwa kwambiri; Kupha manyazi kumatha kupangitsa zinsinsi zamdima izi m'makanema ena omwe ndidawona ndili mwana. Zomwe ndizosavuta kuzisiya.

Mwina ndizosatheka kuti chiwerewere chiziwonedwa ngati chiwonetsero cha anthu onse, chothandizidwa ndi anthu, komanso kuchitapo kanthu monga kusewera masewera kapena kupanga zaluso, koma ndikudabwa kuti mtengo wake wachinsinsi ndizotani makamaka munthawi ya zolaula pa intaneti.

Nkhaniyi ikupezeka pa intaneti pa:

http://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2013/06/coming-out-as-a-porn-addict/277106/